01/25/2005

Another Legend.........gone...

NFL Quiz: 1) Name the top four schools in 2004 draft picks. 2)
Hall of Fame – Name the three ‘players’ enshrined in Canton
with the initials B.B. Answers below.

Johnny

Damn, I’m depressed tonight. Just 12 days ago I felt compelled
to write that I will forever be grateful my parents let me stay up
as a youth to watch Johnny Carson’s monologue. There weren’t
many 6th graders back then (1970) able to do so and there is no
doubt watching this helped shape my interest in all things
worldly.

Carson got his start as host of “The Tonight Show” back on
Oct. 1, 1962, when he replaced Jack Parr. For 30 years, until
May 22, 1992, he ruled late night television with an average
audience between 10 and 15 million. As everyone is saying in
their tributes he became part of so many families. Brian Lowry
wrote in the Los Angeles Times, “His monologues, never
rehearsed, seemed to perfectly capture the tone necessary to let
people unwind.”

For NBC, Carson represented almost 20% of the network’s
profits, even after his salary escalated to a reported $20 million
by 1990.

Oh, the memories. Ed Ames and the tomahawk straight into a
cardboard figure’s groin Tiny Tim’s wedding, seen by 58(!)
million viewers on Dec. 17, 1969. The animal acts, and Johnny’s
unforgettable reactions heck, I pulled out this very video this
past New Year’s Eve.

I’ll also never forget Carson’s last week. His final show had an
audience of 55 million and it was both unforgettable and sad for
us fans.

David Letterman issued a statement on Sunday. “We will not
see the likes of him again.” I told a friend of mine that I missed
the clue Letterman himself sent us this past week when he leaked
the story that Carson was providing him with some of his jokes.
The timing was obviously curious in retrospect.

There are three figures from the world of sports and
entertainment that I always felt I’d be super bummed when they
left the scene; Bob Hope, Johnny Carson and Arnold Palmer. I
look around at today’s celebrities and I don’t see anyone that
a 25-year-old can have that deep a connection to. I’m sure these
figures are out there it’s a generational thing, I know but
they’ve made no connection with me.

Damn, Johnny. You’re going to be missed. Thanks for making
the world a little better. Laughter is so important.

Paul Hornung

Last fall I mentioned a fun read, former Green Bay great Paul
Hornung’s “Golden Boy.” So since I’ve plugged it a few times I
thought I’d use a story or two. The first concerns Heisman
Trophy winners Glenn Davis and Doc Blanchard, players for
Army that won the Heisman in 1945 and ’46.

Davis, a good-looking guy, played his pro ball with the Los
Angeles Rams and dated actress Terry Moore. Hornung
described Ms. Moore as a “knockout, but she knew absolutely
nothing about football.”

“One night at Davis’s house, she noticed this huge trophy of a
football player throwing a straight arm.

“ ‘What’s that?’ she said.

“ ‘The Heisman Trophy,’ said Davis. ‘It goes every year to the
best player in college football.’

“ ‘And you won it?’ said the actress.

“ ‘Yes,’ said Davis ‘I was very fortunate. It’s a really special
trophy. There aren’t too many of them out there.’

“The next week, she and Glenn went to the Blanchards’ to have
dinner. As she was looking around their house, Terry noticed a
trophy identical to the one that Davis had.

“ ‘Did you send your trophy over here?’ she asked.

“ ‘No,’ said Davis. ‘Doc was fortunate enough to win one, too.’

“The next week, she and Davis went to have dinner at the home
of Dr. Les Horvath, who was Glenn’s dentist, and damned if
Terry didn’t see another Heisman. Horvath was the 1944 winner
while playing at Ohio State.

“ ‘Glenn, you’ve been lying to me,’ she said. ‘This trophy isn’t
special. Everybody you know has one!’”

In 1958, Green Bay went 1-10-1 in Hornung’s second year and
he was tempted to bet on some of the games (which would get
him in trouble later on). But in this particular case Baltimore
was favored by 19 only a few weeks after Bart Starr had played
well in a 24-17 loss to the Colts in Green Bay. Hornung tried to
call his man in Chicago but couldn’t reach him in time to get the
bet down for all three.

“Well, we fumbled away the opening kickoff and the Colts
scored. We fumbled the next kickoff and they scored again.
Then, after we ran a couple of plays, we fumbled again and they
scored again. The game was four minutes old and we were
already down 21-0.

“The Colts went on to clobber us 56-0, by far the worst loss I
suffered in my Packer career. Those were the days when a white
horse circled the field after every Colts touchdown, and we
almost killed him that day.”

December 28, 1958

The National Football League’s historic championship game
between the New York Giants and Baltimore Colts took place
this day; one that would change the sport forever. With 1:56
remaining, and the Giants leading, 17-14, the Colts’ Johnny
Unitas led his offense on the field, 86 yards from winning the
contest.

The game was held in Yankee Stadium and a national television
audience of 45 million was watching this first professional
football telecast to be aired coast to coast. Unitas would lead the
Colts to a tying field goal and the game headed into overtime. It
was the first ‘sudden death’ affair in league history.

“What happens now?” asked the Giants’ Pat Summerall. “I think
we play some more,” answered teammate Kyle Rote.

The Colts won the coin toss and received the football first with
Unitas driving the team to the Giants 8. From Michael
MacCambridge’s book, “America’s Game”:

“The 20,000 or so Colts fans who’d bused in from Baltimore
were now in a frenzy, many of them rocking the bleachers in the
end zone, imploring their heroes to bring home the victory.

“And in that pressurized instant around the country, 45 million
Americans watched their television screens go black. Then this
message appeared:

Please stand by
PICTURE TRANSMISSION HAS BEEN
TEMPORARILY INTERRUPTED

“The rocking of the Colts’ fans had disconnected a cable down
on the sidelines, causing NBC to lose its picture before
(Raymond) Berry’s catch. After the play, Unitas called a
timeout, and after arriving at the Baltimore sideline asked (Head
Coach) Weeb Ewbank what he had in mind. ‘Just keep it on the
ground We can kick a field goal from here.’

“The quarterback took the field again, unaware that the TV
audience was in the dark, and gave his teammates their next
assignment. As the team clapped hands to break the Colts’
huddle, a jowly, middle-aged civilian, with a look of deranged
glee on his face, rushed onto the field and for a time eluded the
three New York City policemen who were in hot pursuit. As the
crowd roared at the break in tension, the man was hemmed in
close to the Colts’ huddle, and placed in handcuffs.

“Moments later, the picture returned throughout the country, and
from the control booth in the back of a van in the parking lot
outside the stadium, NBC producer Ted Smith exhaled loudly
with relief. Newspapers would report the next day that an NBC
technician had managed to reconnect the cable and restore the
picture. But it would be a long time before anyone outside the
NBC offices found out that the apparently drunken fan who ran
onto the field during the delay was actually a stone-sober NBC
business manager named Stan Rotkiewicz, who’d been working
down on the sidelines as a statistician. While he couldn’t save
the game for the Giants, he had saved it for the rest of America.
His intrusion gave NBC enough time to find the disconnected
cable and repair it, missing just one more play, a run into the line
that gained one yard.”

Two plays later fullback Alan Ameche ran it in from the one.
The Colts’ fans stormed the field and America not only had a
new icon in Johnny Unitas but the sport itself became a new
passion in the country.

As for the humble quarterback, that night he turned down
appearing on “The Ed Sullivan Show,” declining the invitation
and the $300 because he wanted to be with his team. Ameche
went in his place, to be feted by Sullivan and the country.

Stuff

--And now your exclusive Super Bowl pick ..Jets, oops
Patriots 27 Eagles 10. Excuse the language, but does Tom Brady
have the world by the balls or what? For crying out loud, he’s
8-0 in playoff competition. And, geezuz, he’s a stud. C’mon,
guys, wouldn’t all of you like to be him for just 24 hours? 12?

[Nice weekend for New England owner Bob Kraft Trump’s
wedding on Saturday AFC championship, Sunday. Yup, I
could get used to that.]

--Wow, super huge upset in college basketball on Saturday as #2
Kansas was manhandled by Villanova, 83-62, with Nova making
12 of 19 from downtown. Meanwhile, nice win for my Deacs at
Cincinnati. I can relax for a few days.

--Wake Forest’s 2005 football schedule was released

Nebraska, Miami and Florida State, for starters .ughh.

Thankfully we also have Boston College ..sorry, Steve D.,
couldn’t resist.

--Those of you who have been reading this the last few months
know of my project involving the golfer Carlos Franco. So
here’s your update. Carlos’s agent called Friday and our friend
has decided to blow off the West Coast portion of the Tour. The
agent, a good guy, now can’t reach Mr. Franco. There’s a lot
more I could add but suffice it to say the venture is close to being
trashed for good. Both the agent and I are upset at this turn of
events.

But at least Bill Haas, the Wake alum I followed at Q School,
took advantage of one of his seven exemptions on the PGA Tour
this year by making the cut at the Buick Invitational and
finishing in the top twenty.

[Big win for Tiger Woods at the Buick, his 41st PGA victory and
his first stroke play triumph in 15 months. After just three weeks
this is already setting up as a super year on tour, both Tiger and
Vijay having won.]

--This great newsletter I subscribe to, International Living,
released its latest “Quality of Life” survey; ranking 194 countries
in categories such as “cost of living,” “leisure & culture,”
“economy,” “risk & safety,” “health care,” and “climate.” And
the Top Ten:

1. United States
2. France
3. Australia
4. Switzerland
5. New Zealand
6. Austria
7. Canada
8. Belgium
9. Denmark
10. Finland

And

190. Afghanistan
191. Sudan
192. Central African Republic
193. Somalia
194. Iraq

Best climate Ecuador worst Oman

Best health care France worst Ethiopia [Remind me not to
get a colonoscopy here.]

Best economy United States worst Iraq

Australia is the ‘most charitable’ with the highest percentage of
people who are members of voluntary charity organizations
(18%).

New Zealand has the lowest rate of murder with a firearm.

Austria has the lowest level of people victimized by property
crime, including car theft and burglary.

Denmark’s people are the world’s highest consumers of wine
(1.6 gallons per person per year).

--So we had this little snowstorm this weekend, dumping about a
foot in my area, and the reactions of some can be comical. In
New York City, about two hours after the storm started on
Saturday, the special ‘311’ community services line was
jammed. “Why isn’t my street plowed yet!”

--I was reading the February issue of Runners World and came
across the story of ultramarathoner Dean Karnazes. Check this
out.

The toughest ultramarathon in the country is the Badwater event,
135 miles through Death Valley, California to Mount Whitney.
Runners go from below sea level to 8,360 feet and run in temps
that can get as high as 130 degrees.

Karnazes has run it six times and never won, which bugs the
heck out of him, but he nonetheless decided to expand his
horizons. One day he wants to run 300 yes, 300 miles.
Without stopping. 11 marathons. Without stopping. That’s
also about the distance between Boston and Montreal.

Well, Dean entered the 199-mile Relay from Calistoga to Santa
Cruz, California, a race typically run by teams of 12, and he
thought to tack on 100 miles to this event. But he had to quit
after 225. The next time, at the same event last October, he
made it to mile 235, then stopped, took a 15 minute nap, and ran
another 27 for a total of 262, or roughly 10 marathons. Take
away the nap and he had been on the go for nearly 76 hours.

So how does one train for something like this? Karnazes’s
typical week includes three weekday runs of five to 15 miles; a
long Saturday run of 30 to 40 miles; and a 20-mile Sunday
“cruise.” Then twice a month he runs 75 miles.

He’s also not some skinny dude as he puts himself through
constant cross-training.

OK, that’s it .I’m going for a walk around the block.

--Boo to Norway. The nation is stupidly killing five of its
remaining 20 grey wolves because they are killing some freakin’
livestock. Ergo, the wolves, already on the verge of extinction,
will not survive this blow. I hope they make a final stand,
however, and launch an assault on the druggies in Oslo. Better
yet, this seems like a perfect screenplay for a Sci-Fi Channel
movie.

Actually, did you know there are 250-300,000 moose in Norway?
Maybe throw them into the assault as well.

--This is an ugly story. A 69-year-old rancher in Utah was
arrested for manslaughter after a woman was killed in an auto
accident when her car collided with one of his steers. Police say
the charges were warranted because Darrell Kunzler had a 30-
year pattern of “failing to properly contain his livestock, despite
repeated requests by law enforcement.” [High Plains Journal]

Guess I’m going to have to be more careful with the Longhorns I
have in back of my townhouse.

--Goodness gracious. From the Los Angeles Times comes this
headline:

“O.C.’s Mystery of the Deep: Invasion of the Jumbo Squid”

As of early last week, some 1,500 jumbo squid, normally found
in the waters off South America, have washed up on Orange
County beaches. Most of them are juveniles, around 3-feet in
length, but the adult Humboldt squids can grow to 6 feet and
weigh as much as 100 pounds.

Professor John McGowan of the Scripps Institution of
Oceanography in La Jolla said “These things are invading, and
we don’t know what’s going on.”

“Lobsterfest” at Red Lobster is one possible explanation, I
imagine. But should you come across one of these incredibly
ugly creatures, be careful. Even when dead they can squirt you
with black ink. At least I think it’s black ink.

--Roger Clemens will be making $18 million this year, the
largest single-season contract ever for a pitcher. When I first
heard about this negotiation, where he went for $22 million in
arbitration and the Houston Astros set their bid at $13.5 million, I
thought it was ridiculous. But upon further reflection, hell, the
guy won the Cy Young at 42 years of age and, as Mike Lupica of
the New York Daily News wrote, you can’t help but label
Clemens the greatest pitcher in the history of the game.

One thing you can have a minor problem with, however, was all
of Clemens’s talk that he wanted to enter the Hall of Fame while
his mother was still alive, she being in poor health. Since you
have to wait five years upon retirement before you’re eligible,
this means Roger wasn’t exactly being sincere in dragging Mom
into the equation. I hope she burns his dinner.

--Manchester United’s legendary manager Alex Ferguson was at
the helm for his 1,000th game the other day. But here’s a tip,
boys and girls. Last time I was in London I picked up a ManU
jersey, thought it was large enough, threw it in the dryer and
presto it was suitable for a second grader.

--The New York Knicks fired Coach Lenny Wilkens after losing
for the 9th time in 10 games. Yes, just a month ago we had that
momentary flash where it appeared I was going to return to being
a Knicks fan, just for the purposes of this site, mind you, but then
the Knicks reverted to true form. So now I can slam them again.

--Update: Remember that race fixing scandal I commented on
about a year ago, if I recall correctly? This Sunday’s New York
Daily News reported the scandal has spread from Aqueduct to
New York’s two marquee tracks, Belmont and Saratoga. On
January 13, a new 88-count indictment outlining a $200 million
operation was handed down. And a key to this story is the nerve
center in Fargo, North Dakota, of all places, where the money
laundering, illegal wire transmission and conspiracy acts
occurred as organized crime used offshore wagers to avoid the
prying eyes of federal authorities. Well it didn’t work, and the
sport of kings could be in big trouble when the extent of this
becomes more publicized.

--We have an anonymous candidate for Bar Chat “Dirtball of the
Year.” Someone is stealing the bronze swords off monuments at
Gettysburg National Military Park. The latest was pried or
broken off a stone monument dedicated in 1890. Replacing the
swords and repairing the damage could cost $4,200. I think an
appropriate punishment for this asshole(s) would be to tie them
to a tree in the National Cemetery there and make them recite the
Gettysburg Address for a year.

--The New York Post’s Phil Mushnick had an interesting story
on a women’s basketball game between TCU and UAB last
week, wherein TCU’s Sandora Irvin broke the NCAA Div. I
women’s record with 16 blocked shots. I saw this item when it
occurred and had the same thought Mushnick initially did, that it
was a trumped up achievement. As he wrote:

“Sounded like another one of those adult-supervised, shooting
fish-in-a-barrel jobs. College and high school record books are
lousy with them .

“But first glances can deceive. Irvin, a 6-3 senior, sat for about
eight of 40 minutes and TCU played six subs, one for 23
minutes, another for 20 and another for 17 .And (Irvin’s)
record-breaking 16th block was against Domaneice Moore, who’s
6-4.

“It was an odd game. UAB actually took a 5-0 lead, yet was
down 46-8 at the half. [The final was 75-34.]”

This is in comparison to records such as Lisa Leslie’s (now of
the WNBA) and her 101 points – all in the first half – of a high
school game. [The opposing squad refused to play the second
half, already down 102-24, as it not only didn’t want to be
humiliated further, it had but four players.]

Top 3 songs for the week of 1/25/64: #1 “There! I’ve Said It
Again” (Bobby Vinton underrated performer) #2 “Louie
Louie” (The Kingsmen beautiful lyrics) #3 “I Want To Hold
Your Hand” (The Beatles the following week this was #1, thus
beginning a streak of 14 weeks where they topped the
charts the other tunes being “She Loves You” and “Can’t Buy
Me Love” the British Invasion was officially underway)

NFL Quiz Answers: 1) 2004 College Draft – Ohio State, 14;
Miami, 9; Purdue, 9; LSU, 7. [USC had 4 Delaware, 2.]
2) Hall of Fame, initials B.B. – Bobby Bell, LB, 1963-74
(Kansas City); Bob Brown, Tackle, 1964-73 (various); Buck
Buchanan, DT, 1963-75 (Kansas City).

Next Bar Chat, Thursday.

*I can’t begin to tell you how often over the years I think of “The
Tonight Show” theme song as I go through the day. Now it will
be more so.

Carnac the Magnificent: OPEC

Ed: O-PEC .

Carnac: What does an Irish chicken do?