03/05/2007

Thar She Blows!

Baseball Quiz: Name the top ten pitchers in strikeouts, lifetime.
[Hint: Only one finished his career before the 1980s.] Answer
below.

Mt. Vesuvius

The Dr. Doom of vulcanology, Dr. Peter Baxter of Cambridge
University, is projecting that the next time Mount Vesuvius
blows, at least 300,000 people, nearly 20 times as many as the
AD79 disaster that buried Pompeii, could be killed. As noted in
a report for the London Times’ by John Follain, half a million
live in the so-called ‘red zone’ of 18 towns in a four-mile radius
of the volcano and most would die if an evacuation could not be
completed in time.

Baxter and his team of Italian scientists calculated their death toll
based on the impact of the final phase of an eruption, “when a
mushroom-shaped cloud of superheated gas, rock and ash would
come crashing to earth,” as Follain writes.

Baxter says: “The main cause of death would be the high
temperatures – the flows would penetrate windows, burn people
to death and asphyxiate them.”

Vesuvius has been quiet for more than 60 years. Over the past
2,000 years, it has erupted on average once a century.

“The rule is that the longer the period of inactivity, the bigger the
eruption,” said Augusto Neri, of the National Geophysical and
Vulcanology Institute, who led the study.

Back in the time of the eruption that buried Pompeii and
Herculaneum, Pliny the Younger, who witnessed it from across
the bay, wrote:

“Darkness fell – not the dark of a moonless or cloudy night but
as if the lamp had been put out in a closed room.”

[I didn’t realize Roman Polanski is currently working on a mega-
movie concerning Pompeii, by the way.]

Today, Italian authorities constantly monitor Vesuvius and are
convinced they’d have ample warning, but officials have said
that news of an impending eruption would be enough to cause
panic and block the roads. One ministry report stated: “In this
phase many deaths are to be expected, caused by road accidents,
people being crushed, fires, heart attacks and shootings.”

Follain writes: “According to the new study, the final phase of
the eruption would see a column of gas, rock and ash, similar to a
nuclear weapon’s mushroom cloud, come crashing down onto
the lower slopes of the volcano.

“The result would be pyroclastic blasts of red-hot gas and rock,
followed by thousands of tons more ash. The temperature of
magma leaving the crater would be 950C, falling to about 200C
at the outer limit of the red zone.

“Traveling at 60mph (yikes!), these flows would sweep over
thousands of homes built illegally on the slopes of Vesuvius
since the second world war to reach towns including Ottaviano,
which contains a Medici palace. The flows would arrive in
Pompeii and Herculaneum within 20 minutes.”

20 minutes. Get this, in the most recent test for an evacuation,
just last October, “it took 10 hours to evacuate groups of 100
people by bus from each of the 18 towns.”

This could be exciting, sports fans!

Stuff

--Somewhat related to the above, I saw a blurb in the London
Times on the antics of Messalina, as chronicled by Pliny the
Elder.

Messalina, the wife of Claudius, who invaded Britain in AD43,
was known for her sexual endurance, it would appear.
According to a husband and wife team of Swedish archeologists,
they have identified Messalina as a record-breaker of the ancient
world.

It seems that she was famed for her affairs with gladiators,
dancers and politicians much like Janice Dickinson, come to
think of it. But I digress.

From the Times piece:

“Pliny describes how she competed with the prostitute Scylla in
an all night sexual marathon. Scylla, he claims, gave up at dawn
when each had taken 25 lovers but Messalina carried on into the
morning.”

Goodness gracious. But that’s not all when it comes to these
times. Allan Klynne and his wife uncovered another tale from
ancient texts; that of a soldier in Alexander’s army who drank 29
pints of wine in a contest and then dropped dead you’re
reading Bar Chat.

--Could it be could it be???

“Barry Bonds missed the San Francisco Giants’ spring training
workouts Sunday for the second straight day because of the flu.”

Our prayers have been answered! BARRY BONDS HAS BIRD
FLU!!!!!!

--Former Dodgers pitcher Clem Labine died at the age of 80. He
was one of the Boys of Summer and a top relief pitcher in the
mid-1950s. But from time to time he started, such as a complete
game shutout in the 2nd playoff game against the New York
Giants in 1951, a day before Bobby Thomson’s shot heard round
the world off the Dodgers’ Ralph Branca. And in the 1956
World Series, Labine beat the Yankees 1-0 in Game 6, pitching
all 10 innings. The problem with this one was twofold. The
Yankees not only won Game 7, but Labine’s shutout came a day
after Don Larsen threw a perfect game.

And who threw a 3-hitter against Brooklyn in Game 7? I have to
admit, folks, I had no idea on this one. Try Johnny Kucks.
Johnny Kucks? He was 18-9 as a 22-year-old for the Yanks that
year, but finished his career only 54-56. You ask 100 New York
area baseball fans and I venture to say no more than 3, max,
would know this. Johnny was born in Hoboken and by my
records is still alive. [I have Hoboken resident Pete M. hot on
the trail. He’s being paid in beer.]

Back to Labine, he is connected to one of the great stats in
baseball history, by my estimation. Clem was a dreadful hitter,
going 17 for 227 in his career, a whopping .075 average.

But in 1955 he hit three home runs, not just the only homers he
ever clouted, but also the only three hits out of 31 at bats that
season! Now how cool is that?

There is this other tidbit about Labine, who was 77-56 with a
3.56 ERA and 96 saves in his career. He retired the great Stan
Musial 49 consecutive times! Yes, 4-9.

--The following may have a limited audience, even more so than
a lot of the stuff I write, but those of you in the wholesaling
business on Wall Street may appreciate it. I saw a blurb in Alan
Abelson’s column for Barron’s this week, relaying something
from Dresdner Kleinwort Wasserstein strategist Albert Edwards.

“I still remember with acute embarrassment one client lunch,”
Albert writes, “when an analyst colleague was presenting.
Unfortunately, he inadvertently propelled some half eaten food
across the table and it landed in the beard of a client who was
sitting opposite. Luckily, the client didn’t’ seem to notice or
maybe he was just too polite to say or do anything.”

This immediately reminded me of a story about one of my great
friends in the business, Bill L., who was giving a lunch
presentation in front of a large group of brokers in Washington,
D.C., and was wondering why he not only was getting zero
response, there seemed to be a lot of snickering going on. After
about 30 minutes it was over and the office manager, an old
friend of Bill’s (and mine) took him aside and said, “Bill, why
did you keep your sunglasses on?”

--I saw a picture in the Anchorage Daily News that was quite
startling. Two Alaskan natives, fishing off Kona, Hawaii, caught
an 846-pound marlin.

“It was like that scene from ‘Jaws,’ said Tina Bosela. ‘The boat
was running backwards chasing the fish. Waves were coming up
over the back and I was getting hit in the face with buckets of
water. I would duck and reel, duck and reel. I expected the boat
to go under and the big fish to eat me up.”

Husband Rich was pulling up the lines at the end of a long
February day, when the giant marlin showed up on the short
rigger disguised as a smaller fish.

“We just saw the tip of the fin before it took the purple Super
Ninja lure, and the outrigger line came down,” Rich said. “Tina
got in the chair, and (skipper Kent) Mongreig brought her the
rod.”

Then it jumped. “Oh, God. It’s King Kong,” Mongreig hollered.

It took two hours to bring it in. Tina handled the first 30 minutes
and Rich, a former Iditarod performer, took the rest. Finally,
they were able to secure it along the side of the boat and bring it
in.

Well, I imagine you’re now curious. What’s the record for a
pacific blue marlin, editor?

I never thought you’d ask. So I go to my ESPN Sports Almanac,
2007 edition, and find it too was caught off Kona, May 31, 1982,
by Jay W. deBeaubien. How big? 1,376 pounds! The overall
marlin record, a black one, is 1,560 pounds caught off Peru in
1953 by A.C. Glassell Jr.

Just glancing down the list, I have to mention this one. Back in
1959, Alfred Dean hauled in a 2,664-pound great white shark off
south Australia. Now that would have been something to see.

--The Wall Street Journal had a story on the cost of rearing a
child through age 17. The government estimates it to be
$279,000, but the Journal looked at it from the standpoint of the
top-third income bracket.

For example, the government estimates education/child care at
$36,000, but as 1 in 10 kids are in private or parochial schools
these days it is obviously far higher. Or the fact 1 in 4 kids have
their own car. Or the cost of a golden retriever, $750, plus
another $555 a year on average for pet care. Or how about a
swimming pool in the backyard, a decade’s worth of Nikes, or
bottled water on delivery for a family over 17 years?

Bottom line, suddenly the cost is up to around $1 million.

--Africa’s elephant population may be tumbling, but South
Africa’s own has doubled to around 17,000 since 1995 so the
government is thinking of reinstituting plans to cull the herd.
Needless to say they are not being welcomed by Dumbo and
Co. and I expect the pachyderms to launch an insurgency shortly.

--29-year-old Dodgers journeyman pitcher Matt White learned a
50-acre plot purchased from his great aunt in 2003 for $50,000
could be worth $millions (maybe even a $billion or so) because it
contains as much as 24 million tons of mica schist rock, used for
stone walls, steps and walkways.

--Another affiliated with the Dodgers, former manager Tom
Lasorda, is in the news over allegations he paid for sex,
according to a list of supposed clients of convicted madam Jody
“Babydol” (sic) Gibson.

--Oh noooooo David Beckham suffered a potentially serious
knee injury on Sunday while playing for Real Madrid, which
obviously jeopardizes his whole move to Los Angeles and the
MLS.

--Bowler Pete Weber won his 4th U.S. Open title, equaling the
mark held by his late father Dick and Don Carter. I’ll have to
check to see if my favorite bowler, aside from Dick Weber, Ray
Bluth, ever won one.

--I just saw in the Star-Ledger that of New Jersey’s 8 Division I
men’s basketball programs, Rider at 16-15 had the best record
this year. Now that’s truly pitiful.

--Dikembe Mutombo became the first player to pull down 20
rebounds after the age of 40 when he had 22 in Houston’s win
over Denver the other night. He turns 41 in June.

--Houston Rockets star Tracy McGrady said he would consider
skipping next year’s All-Star game if he felt he wouldn’t be safe
in New Orleans.

“I don’t think it’s the right city to have this type of event right
now. I know the city is in need of trying to get back on their
feet, in need of money. Safety comes first. I’m sure they have to
do a lot of research before they really make this decision.”

Players union director Billy Hunter has raised similar concerns
and has threatened to confront the league over it.

--Golf World’s Jaime Diaz calls 29-year-old Geoff Ogilvy the
best interview since Jack Nicklaus.

Ogilvy on Woods: “I mean, Tiger is the angriest player on tour.
He’s also the best at controlling it.”

Of Sergio Garcia: “When he starts making putts again – which he
is going to do – he’s going to win 10 times in a year. He is the
best ball-striker in the world But he is so analytical about his
putting and not about anything else .He’s like Seve, only in
reverse.”

On golf architecture: “I like there to be a relationship between
the quality of your drive and ease of your second shot.”

--Jack Nicklaus on golf’s big problem these days, the ball.

“It used to be 80% shot-making and about 20% power. Today
those percentages are reversed.”

Nicklaus wants to see the ball scaled back about 10%, first and
foremost to bring back into tournament play some classic old
courses, now deemed too short. It will never happen.

--I love this description of the recent Mayakoba Golf Classic, a
PGA event in Mexico, by Golf World’s Bob Verdi.

“Courtesy cars were unavailable, so the tournament spent about
$200,000 – four times the usual cost – to transport players to and
from the airport, then to and from the adjacent Fairmont hotel to
the course. Taxis were everywhere for the short jaunt into Playa
Del Carmen, a village that never sleeps. Round trip was about
$30, but no receipts. [Repeat to the Golf World Accounting
Dept.: Taxi drivers do not carry receipts.] In the locker room
golfers were treated to the greatest hits of Perry Como, Bing
Crosby and Benny Goodman. What, no Lawrence Welk? Just
off the Fairmont lobby, a violinist performed. He played for
audiences. He played when there was nobody in sight. He was
there at dawn. He was there at dusk. He will need rotator cuff
surgery. A number of caddies resided at an all-inclusive lodge
down the road. All-inclusive meant all-you-can-eat and all-you-
can-drink. That’s one way to keep caddies off the streets. There
can’t be a loaf of bread or a bottle of cerveza left on those
shelves, if indeed, that place is still in business.”

--The top three golfers in the world rankings are Americans;
Tiger, Furyk and Mickelson. The next 11 aren’t. And as Ron
Sirak pointed out in Golf World, there were 23 Americans in the
recent WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship out of the 64-
man field, including 8 from Australia which has a population
1/15th the size of ours. [300 million vs. 20 million]

--Runner’s World had a story on smart food choices, such as
swapping olive-oil dressing for creamy dressing. Here’s another
one.

Swap In Dark Beer Swap Out Light Beer.

Why? “Darker brews may have a few more calories per bottle
than lighter versions, but in general they have far more anti-
oxidants from the wheat and other grains used to make them.
Limit your consumption to one or two servings per occasion.”

One or two?! You’ve got to be kidding me!

Here’s one other. Swap In natural peanut butter for standard. As
I write, I have just finished a little snack containing Saratoga
Peanut Butter Co.’s “Blizzard Butter.” [Creamy white chocolate
peanut butter.]

That’s Saratoga Peanut Butter Co., the official NATURAL
peanut butter of Bar Chat. [saratogapeanutbutterco.com]

--Also in Runner’s World, there is the story of Mark Covert, who
on July 23, 1968, then 17 and just out of high school, went for a
run outside his suburban Los Angeles home. And he ran the next
day and the one after that.

In fact, Mark Covert has run over 14,000 consecutive days by
the time of the article. At 13,885 he broke the record as tracked
by the U.S. Running Streak Association. To qualify you must
log at least a mile a day and currently there are 61 runners with
streaks of 25 years or longer, with Jon Sutherland of California
trailing Covert by 307 days.

Covert, 56, lives in Lancaster, California, where he is a college
cross-country and track coach. He has run on days his parents
died and when his four children were born. He ran hours after
hemorrhoid surgery and aboard a cruise ship while a tropical
storm hit.

Covert even ran after he broke his left foot 20 years ago. He just
made a makeshift boot and hobbled on.

He’s also a legitimate runner from the standpoint he placed 7th at
the 1972 U.S. Olympic Marathon trials and “was the first runner
ever to cross a finish line in Nikes.” The shoes are in a safety
deposit box today. Covert also once ran a 4:09 mile.

--I didn’t know this. [I don’t watch The Golf Channel except for
tournaments.] Michelle Wie broke her wrist while running
backwards in California. It’s not known if she will heal in time
for the first major on the ladies tour, the Kraft Nabisco
Championship March 29-April 1.

These days, if I make it out of my chair to go for any kind of
exercise, I try to do it moving forward. I always find that to be a
little more efficient.

--No current major leaguers have agreed to be interviewed by
former senator George Mitchell and his steroid investigation for
the commissioner’s office.

--Did you see where former Dallas Cowboy cornerback Ron
Springs received a kidney from former teammate Everson Walls?
You can imagine the television news magazine shows are
scrambling for the rights to that one ..assuming I haven’t
already missed it.

--Johnny Mac was ranting the other night.

“So for some reason I get ESPN-U on my cable system and
decided to watch the Winthrop/UNC Asheville conference semi.
At halftime, after giving a report on the game, the two idiots in
the studio give an impassioned plea over the air on ESPN-U to
all those who don’t get ESPN-U to ‘please contact your cable
provider and ask for us.’

“Help me out. If you don’t already get ESPN-U, then how can
you hear their plea? If you already get ESPN-U, then who gives
a [hoot]!!”

I felt badly. There was nothing I could do for my good friend
and I knew this would keep him up all night.

--Speaking of college basketball, it was great to see Winthrop
come through and win their tourney and the automatic NCAA
bid. Here at Bar Chat, Johnny Mac and I are riding two
Cinderellas in the event Winthrop and Nevada. We got off the
Butler bus long ago.

--Iona, which made the NCAAs just last year, finished this
season 2-28. That, my friends, is freakin’ unbelievable.

--For hoops junkies only. Boy did Marist blow it.

--You know what would be a cool job? Working for the FBI’s
Art Crime unit. These guys just solved a case dating back to
1973, a Norman Rockwell stolen from a small gallery in Clayton,
Mo. And the current owner? None other than director Steven
Spielberg, who purchased the work in 1989 for at least $70,000,
it having been sold at auction in New Orleans in ‘88 for that
amount as the FBI later learned. [It’s estimated value today is at
least $700,000.]

Spielberg’s own people contacted the FBI after seeing a bulletin
from the agency; the FBI realizing they were close to cracking it.
Spielberg happens to be a Rockwell fanatic and helped found the
Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, Mass., an
outstanding one that I’ve been to set amidst one of the more
beautiful parts of the country. Kind of like Cooperstown, New
York; another hidden gem in terms of some of the neighborhoods
and architecture.

--Pssst .I just bought a Rolling Stones album signed by Brian
Jones. Pretty fired up about that. [You see Brian Jones is
dead, so chances are he won’t be signing any more LPs.]

--Big development in “For Better or For Worse.” Michael and
Deanna are thinking of buying a house on the Patterson family’s
street. Now they can’t afford it, even with Michael’s book
advance, though Dr. Patterson is thinking of helping them out.

But what this all means is that Michael and Deanna will be the
latest to be swallowed up in the subprime mortgage debacle. I
also can’t help but note they could be buying from one Mr.
Stibbs.

“They call me Mis-ter Stibbs .”

--Just saw an ad in Rolling Stone for “The Pussycat Dolls present
The Search for the Next Doll,” starting on March 6 at 9:00/8:00c
The CW Network. Hmmmmmmmmm.

--From Jose Martinez of the New York Daily News:

“Things got too hot on a Puerto Rican beach for a sunbathing cop
from Long Island, and the scorching sand wasn’t to blame.

“Dawn Giugliano is suing Victoria’s Secret for $2 million for
selling her a bikini with a metal ring that allegedly heated up and
scarred her chest after she fell asleep on the beach.

“ ‘The sun baked the metal right into her skin,’ said Luke
Bigelow, an attorney for Giugliano, 27, a Nassau County cop.”

I was going to write that Ms. Giugliano should do what many of
the girls do at South Beach, go topless, but I thought better of it.

--I missed this one the other day. Billy Henderson passed away.
And who was he? Only the lead singer on one of my top ten
songs of all time, the Spinners “It’s A Shame.” I’ll have to do a
little story on these guys soon. Henderson was 67.

Top 3 songs for the week of 3/5/79: “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?”
(Rod Stewart .I prefer Beyonce, personally) #2 “Fire” (Pointer
Sisters never liked them) #3 “I Will Survive” (Gloria Gaynor)
and #4 “Tragedy” (Bee Gees) #5 “A Little More Love”
(Olivia Newton-John) #6 “Heaven Knows” (Donna Summer
with Brooklyn Dreams) #7 “Le Freak” (Chic) #8 “Y.M.C.A.”
(Village People) #9 “Lotta Love” (Nicolette Larson always
liked this one) #10 “What A Fool Believes” (The Doobie
Brothers)

Baseball Quiz Answer: Top ten strikeouts –

1. Nolan Ryan 5714
2. Roger Clemens 4606
3. Randy Johnson 4544
4. Steve Carlton 4136
5. Bert Blyleven 3701
6. Tom Seaver 3640
7. Don Sutton 3574
8. Gaylord Perry 3534
9. Walter Johnson 3509
10. Phil Niekro 3342

Next Bar Chat, Thursday.