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Bar Chat

01/03/2012

Jets Blow

Note: Had computer issues so you’ll notice a quirk or two.

NFL Quiz: Name the five running backs in San Francisco 49ers history to rush for 5,000 yards. I’ll give you year they last played for the team. [In no particular order…1990, 1973, 1963, 2011, 2003] Answer below.

J-E-T-S…JETS JETS JETS…just make it stop

I think my buddy Johnny Mac summed it up best. Us Jets fans need a new team. As I’ve told you, when you grow up in the New York area you are either Mets-Jets or Yanks-Giants. The Jets got to the AFC championship game twice, 2009-2010, but between the disastrous ending to their season this year, and the pathetic Mets franchise, it’s getting tough to take.

Quarterback Mark Sanchez was awful, again, and as the New York Post’s Tim Smith noted, it’s pretty bad when a receiver (Jeremy Kerley) has the longest pass play of the game, a 41-yard strike that was the best looking pass play for the Jets the entire season. But the real story of the Jets’ flameout in Miami, 19-17, was the situation involving team captain Santonio Holmes, a 2011 “Jerk of the Year” award winner, who on the final drive “blew a gasket in the huddle” and was benched. As you’ll see, Holmes will be a multiple 2012 honoree.

“The talented players we have on this team, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t win. But there are critical things like camaraderie, togetherness, passion for the game, playing for the guy next to you. There are certain things like that you can’t coach. There are guys who have to be together, that love each other and respect each other and when that doesn’t happen the product on the field is going to suffer.

“The worst thing that could happen…is when your teammates start to question your passion for the game. I think in that huddle that’s what you saw. When guys looked in (Holmes’) eyes and didn’t see that fire guys were turned off about that. We don’t have to like each other, but you must respect every man in this locker room in order to be successful.”

Holmes was held without a catch for the first time in his career, but it turns out he got into it with his teammates twice during the game. Guard Matt Slauson said after the game, “It was bad. It was breaking down. That’s how it goes when you’re not doing well and you’re in a must-win. Tempers get flared.”

“Santonio Holmes will – from now until the moment his stay with the Jets ends badly (and it will eventually end badly) – be blamed for his selfish, boorish behavior that has completely contradicted his title as a team captain.

“But someone must take responsibility for enabling Holmes by handing him that captaincy, a title that has rankled many of his teammates all season.

“The enabler is Rex Ryan.

“Ryan giving Holmes the title of captain was like a father handing the keys and a bottle of booze to his 16-year-old son and telling him to ‘party on’ with the new sports car.

“Ryan clearly trying to make the moody Holmes feel like one of his guys by naming him a captain, unwittingly poured a pint of acid into the chemistry of his team and the brew has been spoiled since.”

After the game, Ryan played dumb on Holmes’ behavior, saying he didn’t know why the receiver wasn’t in the game at crunch time.

One anonymous Jet went so far as to say of Holmes, “He quit a long time ago. He’s a cancer.”

The Jets signed Holmes this year to a five-year, $45 million extension.

After the game, offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer, who we all pray coached his last game for New York, passed Holmes in the hallway and the two looked away.

Monday, as the team cleaned out their lockers, was equally bizarre. It’s clear they hate each other.

As for quarterback Sanchez, who I’ve written has regressed all year, c’mon, management, at least bring in a solid backup to put some pressure on the guy and to give you an option of subbing for him when he’s off. Geezuz, he sucked the last few weeks….the last three losses…with a quarterback rating of 60.3, 5 TDs, 7 INTs, two fumbles.

As for the Giants, they did everything the Jets didn’t do; come through in the clutch and take care of business. Eli Manning was superb in leading the Giants over the Cowboys, 31-14, in their winner-take-all contest. The pass rush came through, six sacks, and Victor Cruz has exploded onto the national scene. The guy has nine receptions for 342 yards the past two games! He’s had five touchdown receptions of at least 72 yards this year. [Exactly what the Jets don’t have, a deep game.]

So congratulations to Giants coach Tom Coughlin, who probably saved his job with the win.

NFL Bits

3. Houston vs. 6. Cincinnati…Houston losing final three, Cincy losing Sunday but getting last slot.

4. Denver vs. 5. Pittsburgh…Denver losing final three but winning AFC West with 8-8 mark.

3. New Orleans vs. 6. Detroit…should be a fun one. Matthew Stafford is as hot as anyone.

--Both Indianapolis and St. Louis lost on Sunday to finish 2-14 but the Colts got the number one pick in a tiebreaker and will undoubtedly go for Andrew Luck, with the issue of Peyton Manning’s roster bonus of $28 million in early March to deal with. If they don’t pay the bonus, Manning becomes a free agent. Jets fans are dreaming.

[Heisman winner Robert Griffin III has a year of eligibility left but is definitely going out. It was interesting that it came to light this week that Indy, had they lost the No. 1 to St. Louis, were impressed with Griffin enough to have no problem selecting him with the second pick.]

--NFL passing leaders…yardage

Drew Brees…5,476
Tom Brady…5,235
Matthew Stafford…5,038
Eli Manning…4,933
Aaron Rodgers…4,643 (didn’t play last game)

*So Brees and Brady smashed Dan Marino’s 1984 record of 5,084, while Stafford became just the fourth QB in history to pass for 5,000 as he threw for 520* in Detroit’s loss to Green Bay, 45-41. Subbing for Rodgers while he rested for the playoffs was free-agent to be Matt Flynn. All he did was throw for a team record 480 yards and a record six touchdowns. Flynn’s performance will prove quite timely as interest in him this offseason could be off the charts.

*The 520 yards is fifth best all time. Norm Van Brocklin’s 554 remains the top single-game performance.

Back to Brees, he also set the record for most completions in a season, 468, breaking Manning’s 450, and his 71.6 completion percentage broke his own record 70.6 set in 2009.

--Rob Gronkowski (1,327) and Jimmy Graham (1,310) both exceeded Kellen Winslow’s mark for receiving yards by a tight end.

--Minnesota defensive end Jared Allen had 3 ½ sacks in a 17-13 loss to the Bears, bringing his season tally to 22…a measly ½ sack behind Michael Strahan’s record 22 ½.

--Jacksonville’s Maurice Jones-Drew was the NFL’s leading rusher this year with 1,606 yards. I’m guessing not too many casual fans would know that. I didn’t. Ray Rice of Baltimore was next at 1,364. Back on 1/7/08, I labeled Rice a “sure-fire NFL star” as he finished up his career at Rutgers. Nice call by your editor, if I may say so myself.

--My beer man is a big Raiders fan and when I saw him on Saturday, he was already raging on Carson Palmer. “That guy is the most overrated quarterback in the history of the NFL!” You won’t get much of an argument from a lot of folks these days. After the Raiders made the move to get Palmer a few weeks into the season, he had more interceptions than touchdown passes, 16 vs. 13. That’s the first sign of blowdom.

“So why does Tebow’s expression of faith make people so silly-crazy? Why do they care what he does?

“Because he emphasizes the aspect of his talent that is given, not earned.

“And that makes people nervous. The reactions to Tebow seem to fall under the category of what theologian Michael J. Murray calls ‘Theo-phobia.’ In his essay ‘Who’s Afraid of Religion?’ Murray argues we’re ill at ease with intrusions of personal faith. We fear they could lead to oppression, or mania, or even prove us wrong. We prefer to keep religion at the abstract distance of historical or socio-cultural discussion, the safe range described by historian George Marsden, ‘like grandparents in an upwardly mobile family, tolerated and sometimes respected because of their service in the past…but otherwise expected either to be supportive or to stay out of the way and not say anything embarrassing.’

“When Tebow kneels on the field, his religion becomes challengingly present. Tebow doesn’t have to get into a bunch of Jesus Talk to put you or me in an uncomfortable state of mind. It’s more subtle than that….

“Just when you’re trying to mindlessly surrender to an afternoon of pleasure, Tebow begs the question, what if faith actually, well, works? Regardless of whether you believe Tebow’s athletic talent is random and indiscriminate, or bestowed and directed, when you watch his fourth-quarter comebacks it is impossible not to notice that faith is an undeniable performance enhancer, at least as powerful as any drug. For whatever reason….

“Belittle Tebow if you must. But the trouble with shouting down Tebow’s religion, never mind the sheer offensiveness, is the same trouble with shouting down any other form of inspired expression. Do that, and you also shout down mystery, possibility, surprise. And some perfectly good questions. You drown out an awful lot that’s of interest, whether you agree with it or not.”

[I’ve decided Tebow would be the perfect wildcat quarterback…just come in for a change of pace maybe to run 3-5 plays a game.]

“Former Green Bay Packers running back Dorsey Levens, one of four former players suing the NFL for post-football impairment issues stemming from brain injuries, has produced a powerful documentary titled Bell-Rung.

“The yet-to-be-aired 24-minute documentary spotlights the haunting number of post-concussion problems suffered by former players, including the career-ending toll on former Baltimore Ravens and Cleveland Browns running back Jamal Lewis.”

“Bell-Rung reveals Lewis sustained eight or nine concussions during a 10-season career. Current San Diego Chargers linebacker Takeo Spikes said he has suffered 15 to 20.

“ ‘It’s so deep it really makes you wonder, ‘If I had a son, do I really want him to play this game?’’ Spikes said.”

As for Levens, he has problems sleeping. “The lawsuit is more about raising awareness on concussions and lighting a fire under the NFL to help guys who are struggling,” he said.

Lewis said he suffered a concussion in Week 1 of the 2009 season with the Browns but played 10 more games until he was diagnosed with post-concussion syndrome. He was released by Cleveland the following February.

Lewis claims he couldn’t answer the questions when the team doctor came out to examine him after the first hit, but they kept him in the game. Today, Lewis is suffering from headaches.

--Ratings for ESPN’s “Monday Night Football” slipped almost 10 percent this year, its sixth season, though it’s still easily cable’s most-watched program.

Of course Jon Gruden is part of the ESPN broadcast team and the other day, Mike Pereira, a former NFL executive now working for Fox Sports, blasted Gruden for his Monday night work.

“I am not a fan of Gruden’s. Not today, not yesterday, not when I worked for the NFL and not when I was working on the field as a side judge. He was a loudmouth as a coach who constantly disrespected officials and he is a blowhard in the broadcast booth who spouts off when he doesn’t know what he is talking about.”

You da man, Mike Pereira. See, I’m not the only guy who can’t stand Gruden.

--Pete M. was telling me that after decades of having Jets season tickets, for which I was able to go to a game or two, he and his partner have decided to pull the plug. It’s the same story all over the country. The cost has become outrageous. In Pete’s case, “Factoring in the preseason our tickets are close to $160. Throw in Sunday/Monday night games that no one wants to go to and the decision is no longer a hard one.”

College Football [prior to Fiesta Bowl]

--Oregon finally won a bowl game, 45-38 over Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl, as the Ducks averaged about 10 yards per play from scrimmage, helped by De’Anthony Thomas’ two touchdown runs of 91 and 64 yards. [As in two carries for 155 yards…that was his day.]

--Houston’s Case Keenum had 380 yards passing in the first half against Penn State as the Cougars cruised, 30-14. Keenum finished with 532 yards through the air.

--Earlier, Heisman Trophy winner RG3 had a so-so game but his Baylor teammates came through in a big way, a come from behind, record-setting, 67-56 win over Washington. Griffin had 295 yards passing, but three of his backs all went over 100 yards on the ground, including Terrance Ganaway, who had 200 and five touchdowns. The game smashed records for combined points and total yardage, 1397!   [777 Baylor, 620 Washington]

--Steve Spurrier’s South Carolina Gamecocks completed their first 11-win season in defeating Nebraska, 30-13.

--I watched Wake Forest lose to Mississippi State on Friday night as I was doing that other column I do and, boy, our quarterback, Tanner Price, picked a bad time to have his worst performance of the year. He looked just like Mark Sanchez. Oh well. At least the 23-17 score will look far better years from now than the way we actually played. Wake finished 6-7.

--Which isn’t as bad as UCLA becoming the first bowl team to ever lose 8 games! The Bruins (6-8) hold that distinction after losing to Illinois 20-14 in the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl. Illinois had lost six straight itself heading into the game. Jim Mora now takes over for the Bruins. [For you casual fans, the only reason why UCLA got into a bowl game was because of USC’s probation and Pac-12 tie-ins.] 

--Rutgers won its fifth straight bowl game, 27-13, over Iowa State at Yankee Stadium, the longest such streak in the nation. As Ronald Reagan would have said, ‘Not bad. Not bad at all.’ Gotta give coach Greg Schiano credit. He’s put together a solid program but now it’s time for Rutgers to stake its claim to the top 25 on a consistent basis.

--Penn State appears to be eyeing Patriots offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien, 42. I can’t believe the Penn State-Houston game on Monday was relegated to ESPNU. Siberia.

“February…University of Hawaii joins Big East, University of Connecticut switches to Pac-12, Rutgers finds itself alone in new conference, Big One, and begins string of many titles.

“April…University of Tokyo joins Big East, now Big Far East.”

College Basketball

1. Syracuse*
2. Kentucky
3. North Carolina
4. Baylor*
5. Duke
6. Ohio State
7. Missouri*
8. UConn
9. Georgetown
10. Michigan State
13. Indiana
19. Murray State*
22. Harvard
24. San Diego State

Here’s what I don’t understand. Indiana, for the first time in school history, has defeated a No. 1 (Kentucky) and a No. 2 (Ohio State), the latter 74-70 in a spirited effort on Saturday. Their only loss is to Michigan State, 80-65. How can they not be in the top ten?

In other upsets, Rutgers defeated then No. 10 Florida, 85-83 in double overtime, but lost to South Florida on Monday.

And a follow-up to last time. Vanderbilt did indeed defeat ranked Marquette, 74-57, which helps some after their poor start.

As for the ACC the last five or six days, Harvard blasted Boston College, 67-46, while Fordham beat Georgia Tech, 72-66. Wake Forest nipped Yale, 72-71, then lost to f’n Wofford, 56-52, on Monday. Good gawd. The bottom two-thirds of the ACC is truly pathetic.

--Last March, here in New Jersey, St. Anthony’s defeated St. Patrick 62-45 for the state title as St. Pat’s star Michael Kidd-Gilchrist had but seven points on 2 of 11 shooting. I wondered what the fuss about him was as I watched the game on TV. But, wow, the kid is quite the freshman at Kentucky as the No. 3 Wildcats defeated No. 4 Louisville on Saturday, 69-62. Kidd-Gilchrist had 24 points and 19 rebounds!

The State of Sports

“What concerns me about our ongoing fight against terrorism is this:

“The Muslim fundamentalists believe we are the devil incarnate and they are willing to strap bombs to their bodies to defeat the American enemy. Us? We just want to watch football every Sunday. In short, they appear committed to a grand cause while we remain committed to instant replay.

“At our institutions of higher learning, we care more about basketball than biology.

“ ‘Crossfire’ has been replaced by ‘Pardon the Interruption’; that’s probably a good thing….

“(How out of whack are our priorities and sensibilities? Just look at the ‘Call of Duty’ video-game series. In November 2009, ‘Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2’ set a first-day sales record with 4.7 million copies to reap $310 million. In November 2010, ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’ topped that with 5.6 million and $360 million in sales in its first 24 hours. Then in November 2011, ‘Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3’ hit 6.4 million and $400 million on opening day.   It’s a battlefield out there, and while we ignore real war, we love to shoot ‘em up on our PlayStations.)

“I used to think I loved sports as much as the next guy – well, unless the next guy walks in wearing a Yankee baseball cap, Lawrence Taylor football jersey and New York Rangers wristwatch – but I now realize I only liked sports in spurts. Which, frankly, might be healthier.

“Sure, as a kid nothing beats the anticipation of going to the ballpark or watching a big game on TV. But as an adult? Sports is just a release; beyond that, there’s got to be more to a fine day than getting World Series home-field advantage by winning the All-Star Game. There has to be a greater sense of accomplishment than seeing your alma mater’s biggest rival go on probation, no?

“I’m not a religious man, but something tells me that just walking by a church on any given Sunday is a better idea than slouching on a couch on any given Sunday….

“By the way, how can Alabama be playing for the national championship? The Crimson Tide already lost to LSU and didn’t even win its own conference. Who’s minding the BCS store, Howdy Doody?”

“As the year in sports comes to a close, we remember those we lost: Joe Frazier, Al Davis and Harmon Killebrew. Proud Oriole Mike Flanagan, golfing great Seve Ballesteros, Indy champion Dan Wheldon – gone, long before their time.

“But the friend we mourn the most has yet to have a proper burial. His name was Trust. He was officially pronounced dead on Nov. 5 in a Pennsylvania attorney general’s grand jury report.

“He was found without a pulse inside the Penn State football building, adjacent to the showers.

“He had been sick for years, of course. Corrupt college presidents, coaches and boosters had been clubbing at his immune system. Cheating titans of baseball and cycling, who put pills and syringes in their bodies and lied about it, also took their toll.

“But the death blow came last month, in 23 unsparing pages of testimony, eight victims of child sexual abuse….

“Trust wasn’t just faith in our athletes and coaches; in sports it was always quantifiable by statistics and scores. Moral ambiguity wasn’t supposed to be part of his world.

“Before November, after all, (Joe) Paterno was the righteousness standard – the most deified coach since John Wooden. When we couldn’t rely on Joe Pa to tell police, when he admitted to us he had wished he’d ‘done more’ to prevent ‘one of the great sorrows in my life,’ we couldn’t believe in anyone anymore. t all the good that came out of 2011 – the Cardinals’ pulsating comeback in the World Series, Butler and VCU nearly toppling Goliath in the NCAA tournament…could overshadow one somber obituary….

“Sports leagues can’t exist without at least some collusion. As Andy Schwarz, an economist and litigation consultant, puts it, ‘If steel companies got together to decide when and where to produce steel, that would violate the antitrust laws. But if sports teams in a league get together to decide when and where to play games, that’s generally allowed.’ Major League Baseball has long had an antitrust exemption; other professional leagues have salary caps, which are legal because they have been agreed to by the players.

“The NCAA has neither an antitrust exemption nor a player’s union to negotiate with. In other words, it lacks some of the legal protections that shield professional sports from antitrust suits.

“What it has, instead, is a work force full of young adults dreaming of becoming pros and willing to sign any document, no matter how onerous, if it will help them reach that goal. The document the NCAA forces them to sign completely stacks the deck against them. To cite just one outrageous example, if a player runs afoul of an NCAA rule, he isn’t allowed legal counsel to defend himself.

“Recently, Mark Emmert, the president of the NCAA, tried to make the rules a tad less onerous. He got the NCAA board of directors to approve an optional $2,000 stipend as well as a four-year scholarship instead of the current one-year deal for players.

“And how did the cartel react to these modest changes? It rose up in revolt. Enough universities signed an override petition to temporarily ice the new stipend. The same thing happened with the four-year scholarship.

“A lawyer in Fort Worth, Christian Dennie, who specializes in sports law, got a hold of an internal NCAA document outlining some of the objections. One is especially worth repeating: ‘The new coach may have a completely different style of offense/defense that the student athlete no longer fits into,’ wrote Indiana State. Four-year scholarships might mean that the school would be stuck with ‘someone that is of no ‘athletic’ usefulness to the program.’ Thus does at least one school show how it truly views its ‘student athletes.’

“At the NCAA convention in mid-January, both of these rules will be reviewed. In all likelihood, the NCAA will roll them back. However benignly it characterizes this action, it will be as clear-cut an example of collusion as anything that goes on at an OPEC meeting.

“How can it be that the NCAA can define amateurism in one moment as allowing a $2,000 stipend and in the next moment as forbidding such a stipend? How can it justify rolling back a change that would truly help student athletes, such as the four-year scholarship, simply because coaches want to continue to have life-or-death power over their charges? How can the labor force that generates so much money for everyone else be kept in shackles by the NCAA?

“The NCAA claims it has the legal right to do all the above and more. And maybe it does. But it certainly would be worthwhile to see someone challenge its cartel behavior in court. The inevitable rollback of the $2,000 stipend and the four-year scholarship would be an awfully good place to start.”

Ball Bits

--So the other day we learned that Alex Rodriguez, at the suggestion of Kobe Bryant, went to Germany for treatment on his balky knee. The new superstar doctor who can cure everything is Peter Wehling. The Yankees said they knew of A-Rod’s overseas trip and approved it, though what else could they say? As Mike Lupica reports in the Daily News, Wehling’s tentacles (associates) have ties going back to BALCO.

“In case you’d forgotten, A-Rod still has six years remaining on his contract, which means he’ll turn 42 in July of the final year of his deal, 2017, at which point he’ll still earn $20 million, down from the $31 million he made last year.”

A-Rod hasn’t played more than 138 games in any of the last four seasons. Last season he was in a career-low 99 games, hitting just 16 homers. The drop in power was linked to his bum knee.

--Is anyone going to sign Prince Fielder? As the New York Daily News’ Bill Madden observed, it’s not as if teams are falling all over each other to give a 265-pounder $20 million per for 8-10 years when he’s likely to only get heavier; Madden, like yours truly, falls in the camp that the Angels were nuts to give Albert Pujols the deal they did, especially as there are increasing questions as to just how old Pujols really is.

--The White Sox traded outfielder Carlos Quentin to San Diego. Quentin has four consecutive 20-homer seasons for the power starved Padres. He becomes a free agent after the 2012 season, but since he attended high school in San Diego, the Pads seem to feel they can retain him.

--We note the passing of former New York Giants outfielder Don Mueller. He was 84. Mueller played from 1948-59, was a two-time All-Star and had a .296 batting average, being one of the better slap hitters of his era. He also struck out a mere 146 times in 4364 at bats. Remarkable.

But as described by Richard Goldstein of the New York Times, Mueller solidified his place in baseball history on the afternoon of Oct. 3, 1951.

“The Giants had come from far back to tie the Dodgers for first place in the National League. But in the finale of a three-game playoff, they were losing, 4-1, at the Polo Grounds going into the bottom of the ninth inning.

“Alvin Dark led off by singling against Don Newcombe. When the left-handed-batting Mueller came to the plate, Gil Hodges, the Dodgers’ first baseman, stood close to the bag. Mueller took notice.

“ ‘I saw that hole sittin’ there like a deer in huntin’ season,’ he was quoted by Thomas Kiernan in the book ‘Miracle at Coogan’s Bluff.’

“ ‘And I went for it. I was a hole hitter, always tried to hit the ball where the biggest hole was. If Hodges was playin’ off the bag, instead of tight behind Dark, I would’ve tried to go up the middle with the ball.’

“Mueller drove a fastball to Hodges’ right, just beyond his reach. In keeping with his nickname (“Mandrake the Magician”), taken from the comic-strip magician created by Lee Falk in the 1930s, his single into the hole sent Dark to third base.

“After Monte Irvin fouled out and Whitey Lockman doubled to left, Mueller made an awkward slide into third base, injuring ligaments and tendons in his left ankle. He was carried off on a stretcher. Clint Hartung, a reserve outfielder, ran for him.

“Ralph Branca replaced Newcombe, and moments later (Bobby) Thomson connected on a three-run homer into the lower left-field stands, giving the Giants a 5-4 victory and the National League pennant.”

--Filip Bondy…more predictions.

“August…Mets reschedule night games for daytime, because of sky-high electric bills….

“September…Mets finish season at 40-116, forfeiting final road swing to avoid hotel bills in Atlanta and Miami. Citi Field is condemned by Citi inspector.

“December…Fred Wilpon sells (son) Jeff to Angels in order to pay for Mets’ annual Christmas party.”

--You’ve gotta love that 45,808 showed up on Saturday to watch the Flyers-Rangers alumni game at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia, a prelude to Monday’s Winter Classic (which proved to be a classic of its own, Rangers winning 3-2 with an unbelievably exciting finish). Former Flyer great Bernie Parent appeared in goal and the 66-year-old, playing just five minutes, nonetheless made five stops that Jeff Klein of the New York Times said “would have been excellent for a man half his age, including one on a Ron Duguay breakaway and a kick save that denied Mark Messier.” Chants of ‘Bernie! Bernie!’ filled the stadium. [The Flyers’ alumni won 3-1.]

--The NHL’s 30 clubs go through about 90,000 pucks a season, all made by Sher-Wood Hockey Inc. in Quebec. The proprietary rubber mix is “vulcanized for 12 minutes at 355 degrees,” as reported by ESPN The Magazine. Each team spends $9,300 on the 3,000 pucks it must buy per season, or $3.10 per puck.

--So I was watching the Knicks-Kings game New Year’s Eve (hot time, kids) and Sacramento forward DeMarcus Cousins could not have played with a worse attitude. What an a-hole, I mused while quaffing some premium.

Well that was Saturday night. On Sunday, Kings coach Paul Westphal released a statement, saying the club had told Cousins to stay away, after the jerk kept demanding a trade. When Cousins “continually, aggressively, lets it be known that he is unwilling/unable to embrace traveling in the same direction as his team, it cannot be ignored indefinitely.”

Recall, Cousins was the fifth overall pick in the 2010 draft after he played just one season at Kentucky. He is obviously immensely talented and was averaging 13 points and 11 rebounds the first few games, but it’s amazing what an idiot he is as well. [His name has already been thrown into the December file for yearend consideration for at least “Jerk,” “Idiot,” and “A-hole of the Year” consideration.]

--Kenya’s runners took all six main marathons in 2011, but how do you pick a team of just three for the London Olympics? If I have it right, five different runners won the top six but the Kenya Athletics people will choose a team that is best for London’s weather. Kenya’s runners wish there was a showdown. Geoffrey Mutai, who won both Boston and New York in 2011, says they should meet in London in April to decide it. 

How cool would that be? Like do three loops around Hyde Park to decide it all.

“A 63-year-old man walked more than six miles Thursday from his South Vallenar Point cabin to Ketchikan International Airport, through muskegs [Ed. mossy bogs] and two-feet of snow, over a portion of California Ridge.”

It seems the poor sap couldn’t get a ride to the airport, so he said, “Heck, I’ll just walk.” It took him 12 hours.

“He carried a walking stick, a change of dry clothes and a bit of food in a backpack. He wore a rain jacket and boots, but was cold and wet in no time…His boots filled up with water.”

Stan Mullins later said, “It was kind of dumb. I shouldn’t really have taken off that late in the day.”

It’s a very long story but eventually Stan made it. The airport had closed, but the guy running the ferry to cross the river to get to the airport happened to still be there even though he was supposed to be closed and took Stan in. It’s different in Alaska, sports fans.

--Speaking of Anchorage, as of Dec. 28 it had 61 inches of snow this snow season, versus an entire winter average of 69 inches, so there really are places in the U.S. with the white stuff. The record in Anchorage is the winter of 1954-55 (132.8 inches) followed by 1955-56 (128.8). Hmmm, mused your editor when thinking about the global warming theories. It’s always been about the jetstream, stupid! [Snowfall totals courtesy of Anchorage Daily News.]

“The mass attack by seabirds on a coastal town that inspired Alfred Hitchcock’s thriller “The Birds” may finally have been explained.

“Biologists have blamed toxic algae eaten by the birds for damaging their brains and making them so aggressive that they dived at people, buildings and moving cars in Capitola, California, in 1961.

“Hitchcock’s film, released two years later, was inspired partly by the event and partly by a short story by Daphne du Maurier about an unexplained avian attack on a Cornish farm worker and his family.

“In the California incident, hundreds of normally unaggressive sooty shearwater gulls suddenly, according to local reports, ‘went crazy.’ But as in the film, the attacks ended as abruptly and mysteriously as they started, and the cause has been unknown until now.”

Scientists from LSU examined the stomach contents held in frozen storage of the birds gathered from that time. “”The algae were probably tainted by leaky septic tanks – the result of a 1950s housing boom.”

Actress Tippi Hedren “remembered Hitchcock studying reports of the Capitola attack.” She also remembers “live birds being attached to my face with wire, making them panic and me scream for real.”

I just ordered the movie. Probably haven’t seen it in over 25 years. But, boy, was it a must see when shown in the old days on “Saturday Night at the Movies.”

“A record number of large seizures of elephant tusks represents at least 2,500 dead animals and shows that organized crime – in particularly Asian syndicates – are increasingly involved in the illegal ivory trade…

“Fifty elephants a month are being killed, their tusks hacked off, in Tanzania’s Selous Game Reserve.”

--This is also depressing…Dan McDougall / London Times:

“South Africa’s rhinos are under fire like never before. In the past 12 months, according to the WWF…443 have been killed or seriously wounded by poachers. In 2007, only 17 were targeted for their horns.

“The value of rhino horn in Asia is now higher than gold. The horn is ground into a powder popularly believed to alleviate fevers and pain, and is in much demand in the Far East. The price spike is being blamed on demand from Vietnam, where horn is reputed to be a cure for cancer.”

But here’s what’s really bad. Some in South Africa have now gone from wildlife conservation and gamekeeper to poacher, “using sophisticated dart guns and night-vision equipment, and even hiring helicopters to kill rhino. The rewards are simply too tempting to resist.”

“The criminal syndicates operating in South Africa are highly organized,” said Drew McVey of the WWF. “The demand from Vietnam is huge and we are trying to raise awareness there but it is a mammoth task to teach people about the damage they are doing.”

South Africa is the last big sanctuary for rhinos, with an estimated 1,900 black rhino and 18,780 white rhino remaining in the country.

The government has dispatched army units and since then, 20 poachers have been killed in shootouts, with many more arrested.

--Ah, but killer whales move up to No. 7! From John Harlow of the London Times:

“Robert Pitman, a California ecologist who became famous after being filmed in a ‘snowball fight’ with an Antarctic killer whale, which threw balls of ice back at him, said that Orcas will spend 30 minutes in a coordinated hunting to catch a Weddel seal.

“They splashed heavily to produce an average 120 waves to knock the Weddel off a safe ice perch into the water, successfully killing 75% of their prey – an extremely high ‘kill rate’ in the animal kingdom where most hunts end with hungry carnivores.

“Afterwards the Orcas wasted nothing. ‘Seal remains that we examined provided evidence of meticulous postmortem processing perhaps best described as butchering’ reported the San Diego marine scientist.”

--Check this out…from Ireland and the Irish Independent, as reported by Greg Harkin:

“A terrified jockey was forced to climb over her horse’s head and on to firm land after he sank in quicksand.

“Changing coastal erosion patterns have been blamed for the incident in a foreshore area of Co. Donegal previously deemed safe for horses and their riders.

“Liz Potter was out for a ride on her horse Clyde along with her partner and his horse near Carrigart when the incident happened.

“ ‘My horse just sank straight down into the sand and I didn’t know what was happening. My feet were in the sand it happened so quickly,’ she said.

“Liz managed to climb over her horse’s head and on to firmer sand.

“But her horse Clyde continued to sink and his bridle snapped as she fought to save him.

“ ‘I was close to tears I was so scared. And then he suddenly stopped struggling. I became hysterical because I thought he had given up,’ said Liz.

“Clyde eventually managed to get his front two feet out but collapsed exhausted with his head on the drier sand and his two back legs still in the quicksand.

“He then made a lunge and managed to get out but again collapsed before getting to his feet a few minutes later. Liz admits that she is now terrified to go near the strand.”

--Uh oh…this is not good. Video has emerged of a panda in the wild eating meat. We have been told they just like bamboo, but it would seem they have been jerking us around and are just biding their time, as the Chinese let them breed in security, while they plot an attack on Man. Kind of like a Trojan Horse deal. “We’ll let the humans place two of us in each zoo in the world and then begin to organize all the other zoo animals,” according to audio tape of an unidentified panda in Pingwu obtained exclusively by Bar Chat.

--Meanwhile, I haven’t seen what happened to Banana Sam, 17, a 2-pound squirrel monkey stolen from the San Francisco Zoo on Friday. Sam is one-foot tall and has sharp teeth and “will definitely bite if provoked,” said zoo officials in a statement. If you live in the area, be very careful when walking outside. I’d also carry a satchel of bananas in case he tries to take you hostage.

--According to Jack Colton, a Las Vegas nightlife expert, “The average New Year’s Eve fee for relevant talent is $100,000. An A-List celebrity moves up to $250,000, and for a major grab can go as high as $1 million. Your Lady Gaga’s and Jay-Zs would be considered major grabs.”

Kim Kardashian, while not a songstress or rapper, nonetheless pulled in a reported $60,000 to appear at Vegas nightclub TAO inside the Venetian hotel.” Tickets to see her cost $225 a pop.

You know, if I could do it all over again, I would have majored in Party Hosting. I’d be good at that. “Hey, glad you could make it. Beer is over there.” Or, “Nice dress….here’s my card.”

[I was just told it’s not that easy regarding this last comment.]

--Lady Gaga and Mayor Bloomberg sucked face as the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve.

--Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly are back together. Gotta hand it to Derek. They were first spied together at the Musee d’Orsay in Paris, one of my favorite places in the world. Derek be showin’ good taste and stuff. 

However, the two weren’t holding hands and they are staying at different hotels, sources tell the New York Post. He also didn’t kiss her when they met at her hotel. Just a “hello hug.” And Jeter was a jerk when fans spotted him at the museum, refusing to pose for pictures.

--U2 grossed a leading $156 million in North America this year, $231.9 million worldwide.

--And we note the passing of Sean Bonniwell, 71, the lead singer of the Music Machine that had a very cool top 20 hit in 1966, “Talk Talk,” which peaked at No. 15. YouTube it. It was garage psychedelia at its best. Some feel Bonniwell was “the grandfather of punk.”

Top 3 songs for the week of 1/6/62: #1 “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” (The Tokens…Jeff B. likes this one…I don’t…but we’re still friends) #2 “The Twist” (Chubby Checker…I can’t twist to save my life…very embarrassing) #3 “Run To Him” (Bobby Vee)…and…#4 “Peppermint Twist” (Joey Dee & the Starliters) #5 “Can’t Help Falling In Love” (Elvis Presley) #6 “Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen” (Neil Sedaka) #7 “Goodbye Cruel World” (James Darren…yes, that guy…from “Gidget” and “Time Tunnel”) #8 “Walk On By” (Leroy Van Dyke) #9 “When I Fall In Love” (The Letterman…too precious for me, the group that is) #10 “Unchain My Heart” (Ray Charles)

NFL Quiz Answer: San Francisco 49ers career rushing list.

Joe Perry (1948-1963)…8689…5.2 avg.
Frank Gore (2005-2011)…7625…4.6
Roger Craig (1983-1990)…7064…4.2
Ken Willard (1965-1973)…5930…3.7*
Garrison Hearst (1997-2003)…5535…4.7

*Yes, very embarrassed by typo here initially...especially since he was one of the first 'stars' I remember as a kid.

Next Bar Chat, Monday, from Manchester, New Hampshire.

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