*Last baseball quiz (except for World Series…if there is one).
Because it’s time to move on to football next week.
Houston Astros Quiz (1962-2001): 1) Name one of their first 3
managers. 2) Who is the only Cy Young winner? 3) Who is the
only MVP? 4) Who threw 2 no-hitters in an Astros uniform? 5)
Who is the career stolen base leader? 6) Who is the career leader
in wins? Answers below.
Animal Welfare
Folks, we have lots of fun with animals here at Bar Chat. And
you know why that is, don’t you? It’s because people like yours
truly, Harry K. and Johnny Mac really secretly hope that some of
the animals, like cougars and bears, revolt, sparing us good
people, of course.
But every now and then a serious item comes up, and today is
one of those instances. The August 5 issue of U.S. News has a
depressing and sorrowful tale of the plight of surplus / infirmed
animals from our leading zoos, which are then dumped on
“roadside” zoos, or turned over to wildlife dealers who then
supply various species to the hunting or pet trade.
I never knew much of this stuff, until now, but there are 205 big
zoos in America, like the Washington, Bronx, and San Diego
ones, which are inspected by a branch of the USDA. In most
years, there are fewer than 100 inspectors responsible for
overseeing the treatment and care of zoo animals.
But this same small group also has jurisdiction over some 2,500
safari parks, circuses, breeders, dealers, animal testing labs, and,
most importantly, the “roadside” zoo variety that every one of us
has come in contact with over the years.
The 1966 Animal Welfare Act set standards for food storage,
housing and veterinary care, but there is NO cruelty statute. In
fact, on the issue of cage size, Michael Satchell notes in the piece
that the law stipulates only “that animals must have enough room
to stand, turn around, and maintain a normal posture.” In
Satchell’s words, “making it perfectly legal to keep a chimp in a
broom closet.”
It breaks your heart to learn of the conditions many of the
animals live in. As I travel the world, one of my pastimes is to
visit local zoos. Some are great, like in Vienna, while others are
abysmal, like the one I went to a few months ago in Ankara,
Turkey. After ten minutes I wanted to get out of there. Rome is
another case where the city shouldn’t have a zoo at all if it is
going to treat the animals like s—.
Back in the States, often the tigers or mountain lions you see are
in intense pain, sometimes because of a horrible diet. Many of
the big cats are fed all-poultry diets in the roadside zoos, while
apes without any kind of real housing have gone into fits of self-
mutilation.
The roadside zoos, owner-operated and on a shoestring budget,
are the worst offenders. In one instance, Noah’s Land
Wildlife Park in Harwood, TX, the owner let 4 tigers breed two
years ago and now there are 26 tiger cubs. This isn’t a good
thing, folks. There’s nowhere to put them and they’re infirmed.
In fact, check this out. Remember, we aren’t talking about
successful operations like San Diego or the Bronx Zoo, but
outside of the big ones, there are now some 10,000 unwanted
generic tigers in roadside zoos and backyard cages, often
suffering painful physical defects due to inbreeding. In Texas
alone, there are more pet tigers than survive alone in the wild
worldwide. That’s sick.
The major zoos don’t know that when they put some of their
surplus animals on the market, this is the eventual fate. So
the rules need to be changed. For starters, the roadside
operations have to be shut down. Then the big zoos have to be
made to care for their own elderly animals. They can’t just be
discarded because they are no longer entertaining to a crowd.
Seriously, folks, all of you should be pissed when you read stuff
like this. I am far from an animal rights activist, myself, and I
still believe in animal testing where substitutes can not
effectively be used yet. But we can’t let these other animals
suffer like they are today. We can’t do anything about
conditions in Rome or Ankara, but we can certainly take care of
our own here. Until that day, though, the animals can have at us
in any way they want…right? It’s only fair.
Stuff
–August 2, 1927: Calvin Coolidge made the following
statement. “I do not choose to run for President in 1928.” That’s
it. He said nothing more. Calvin, my man.
–No, I haven’t been watching “American Idol” on television
these days. For those not ‘in the know,’ it’s a talent search show.
But it is interesting to note some of the “losers” on prior
programs of this ilk, like “Star Search,” which ran from 1983-95.
The list for this one includes:
Britney Spears, Beyonce Knowles (Pam Grier was better), Leann
Rimes, Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake.
In addition, the following comics got their start on “Star Search”:
Rosie O’Donnell, Brad Garrett, Sinbad, Ray Romano, Dennis
Miller, Drew Carey.
[Source: Kurt Jensen / USA Today]
–Speaking of music, 50% or more of artists have canceled
concert dates with the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra…for
obvious reasons. Meanwhile, the Orchestra was to have taken an
8-city tour of the U.S., but canceled when it says it couldn’t
come up with any insurance due to possible terrorist attacks. I
can understand the former, but can’t the latter.
–Yes, you’d expect it to be hot in the Middle East this time of
year, but even this region is having an historic heat wave the last
few days, with the air temperature in Oman hitting 129, the
highest in 12 years. Baghdad was 118. [Go ahead, joke if you
like.] The heat isn’t always “dry,” either, like in the American
Southwest. In Bahrain the air temp was 111 with 80%
humidity…so it felt like 129. The heat got to a Saudi prince and
two associates, who died while traveling in the desert.
[This is likely to be my only Mid East weather update, ever.]
–Ed Runge died at age 87. Runge was an AL umpire from
1954-70 and was the father of Paul, an NL ump from 1974-97,
who, in turn, was the father of Brian, currently an ump since
1999; making the Runge’s the only 3-generation family of major
league umpires. Of course umpires are supposed to be invisible
when it comes to the sport itself, and Ed Runge was one of the
better ones, as he didn’t believe in “chasing” players, like too
many of today’s jerks do.
–It’s looking like an August 16 strike date for baseball now.
Schilling should get 20 victories, but A-Rod and the others
wouldn’t be able to hit 50 home runs. Isn’t this great?! 40 Hall
of Famers wrote a letter to both parties saying they should accept
a mediator. Chances of that happening are nil. Guys like Bob
Feller are going ballistic.
Speaking of Feller, last year I wrote a piece on the potential
career totals of some ballplayers who served in World War II or
Korea. Separately, John Holway, a baseball author, once
surmised that Feller was the most “underrated” in the game.
Comparing the four years he lost in the service, Holway guesses
he would have won close to an additional 100 games over that
time, thereby bringing his career total to 360+, compared to the
266 he ended up with. Feller was 23 when he went into the
service and Holway notes that Walter Johnson won 121 and
Christy Mathewson 110 games during their four years after that
age.
For his part, Feller was once asked if he regretted his years
serving in the Pacific, shooting down Kamikazes. “No,” he said.
“I’ve made many mistakes in my life. That wasn’t one of them.”
As for “overrated,” Holway points to Joe DiMaggio, whose
fame, he claims, rests on a hitting streak that never happened.
The biggest reason was that Joe D. received two gift hits in
games 30 and 31. If either one was called honestly, he’d have
two streaks of between 25 and 30, which Holway says, would
then rank him closer to Hank Greenberg; one of the greats, but
not near the very top. [Of course Greenberg also lost a lot of time
to the service, as did Joe D.]
Holway also says Satchel Paige was overrated. Exhaustive
Negro League research reveals Satchel to have had a career mark
of 155-92, not nearly as good as fellow pitchers like Big Bill
Foster, Ray Brown and Bullet Joe Rogan.
[Source: American Heritage / September 2001]
–I golfed with three other baseball fanatics on Wednesday, and
all four of us, age 30-44, said that if the players strike, it
wouldn’t bother us one bit. Amazing, but none of us care
anymore. We were equally amazed that the players don’t see
that. As for me, I’ll read a book on Walter Johnson if they go out.
Or take more Russian lessons…just kidding, taking Russian is
worse than death.
–A.I. (Allen Iverson): So A.I. caught a break the other day, with
his 14 felony counts reduced to two misdemeanor charges for
making terroristic threats. Turns out his accusers were hardly
model witnesses and, when cross-examined at a lengthy hearing
on Monday, gave conflicting testimony.
Hakim Carey, 18, for example, had signed a police statement
saying he saw A.I. carrying a gun, but rescinded it when he took
the stand. Carey said, “Before we got to the police station,
Charles Jones (the chief accuser) said, ‘I saw a gun, so tell them
you saw a gun.’”
Shaun Bowman, Iverson’s cousin, said Jones was motivated by
money. Bowman noted that Jones approached him after the
incident and said, “He (Jones) would have dropped all
charges…if (A.I.) had given him $100,000.” [Jones was a short-
term tenant in Bowman’s apartment.]
It’s all really comical, except that Iverson’s own behavior was
still more than a bit discomforting, having thrown his wife out of
their house, stark naked, for starters.
But you know what really ticks me off, personally, is the fact that
Iverson showed up for his hearing wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
Total disrespect, because he’s a superstar. Nice role model, eh?
He’s nothing but a hood. And you know what else? He’s now
officially eligible for StocksandNews’ “Dirtball of the Year”
award.
–Speaking of gangstas and dirtballs, Iverson’s teammate Derrick
“Whoop De Damn Do” Coleman was arrested near Detroit for
refusing to take a breathalyzer, after being stopped doing 100
mph on the freeway at 3:30 AM. Needless to say, he could have
killed about 10 people if his missile hadn’t been pulled over.
–Nice to know the Russian mob is involved in Olympic pairs
skating and ice dancing, eh? Better than weapons of mass
destruction, though, I guess.
–You can’t make this up. According to the Star-Ledger, federal
authorities uncovered a scam whereby a group of five was trying
to pass off, on unsuspecting brokerage firms, fake Federal
Reserve Notes. The feds were then tipped off by a brokerage
official and the lawmen had a rather easy case.
Why? What was supposed to read “One Hundred Million
Dollars” instead was printed “One Hundred Million Dollar.” It
also didn’t hurt that the Federal Reserve doesn’t issue notes in
that amount.
–And lastly, I didn’t report on Green Bay Packers’ rookie Najeh
Davenport and his ‘incident’ at a college dormitory, because,
frankly, it was pretty gross. So for those of you who didn’t hear,
I have reason to write of it now because Davenport has pleaded
innocent to leaving a “dump” in a girl’s closet, after he snuck
into her room.
Top 3 songs for the week of 8/5/67: #1 “Light My Fire” (The
Doors) #2 “I Was Made To Love Her” (Stevie Wonder) #3 “All
You Need Is Love” (The Beatles)
Houston Astros Quiz Answers: 1) First 3 managers: Harry Craft
(1962-64…191-280 W-L); Lum Harris (1964-65…70-105);
Grady Hatton (1966-68…164-221). 2) Only Cy Young: Mike
Scott, 1986…18-10 with 306 Ks. 3) Only MVP: Jeff Bagwell,
1994…39 HR 116 RBI .368 BA in 110 games…strike season. 4)
Don Wilson threw two no-hitters for the Astros, 1967 and 1969.
5) Career stolen bases: Cesar Cedeno, 487…for his career, which
some would call a disappointment, Cedeno had 199 HR and 976
RBI, while hitting .285 with 2087 hits and 550 steals (including
stints with Cincy, St. Louis and L.A.). 6) Wins in an Astros
uniform: Joe Niekro, 144…overall, he won 221 in his career.
*Nice franchise…still no pennants.
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday.
