[Posted from the QE2…last day…due to my travel schedule, I
needed to do this one early. I”ll have comments on Sydney next
week.]
NASCAR Quiz: Name the last five NASCAR / Winston Cup
driving champions. Answer below.
First off, allow me to do something for me Mum, since it’s not
easy taking care of these things from this ship.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom!
Love,
The Editor
[Sorry, I still find it necessary to hide my identity on this
particular link. Mom understands.]
The Newspaper
You know, folks, there is nothing like a good newspaper, and on
this cruise the only time to get one is of course in port.
Sometimes even then you can’t find one, and so it was that we
arrived in Melbourne, Australia the other day and I ran off the
ship to get some. Following is what I learned.
–Nicole Kidman is an “irresistible man-eater.” The latest victim
is actor Jude Law, who is currently filming “Cold Mountain”
with Kidman. So it turns out Law sent her some very expensive
shoes along with a note which said, “I love you.” Alas, the
package was dispatched to his wife Sadie Frost instead! Doh!
–The final installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, “The
Return of the King,” could run four hours.
–A British survey revealed “the best opening pickup lines.”
“Can I buy you a drink?” was deemed the most successful. I
have to tell you from personal experience aboard the QE2, this
doesn’t work.
“You don’t know me but I dreamt about you last night.” Oh
c’mon, who gets away with this one?
“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Ditto.
“Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money.” This is
what I should have used instead.
“Do you believe in love at first sight or shall I walk past you
again?” Gag.
The ‘worst’ lines from the survey are, in my mind, unprintable.
–I have no idea why this was in an Australian paper, especially
at this time, but for the record the tallest man in the world was an
American, Robert Wadlow, at 8’11”. Wadlow died of poor
circulation and subsequent blood poisoning at age 22 in 1940.
–I saw a picture of Salman Rushdie with a beautiful model,
Padma Lakshmi, which goes to show you, men, that the fastest
way to pickup babes is to write indecipherable books.
–The upcoming World Cup of cricket is attracting a lot of
attention because England is slated to play Zimbabwe in the
latter’s country. You’ll recall that Britain currently has severe
sanctions on Robert Mugabe’s government. The British have
threatened to pull out of the tournament if they have to play in
Harare and the team has been receiving death threats.
So that’s what I learned by reading the local papers. Back to
more normal fare.
Overrated / Underrated
Most overrated distraction: Noise
Most underrated distraction: Silence
Personally, my own favorite example of silence was right before
the start of the Men’s 200 meters at the Atlanta Olympics, with
Michael Johnson gunning for the record. An awesome moment.
Sports Illustrated’s Tim Layden weighs in with another example.
“On the night that Maurice Greene won the gold medal in the
100 meters at the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, he folded himself
into a set of metal starting blocks as a stadium packed with more
than 110,000 spectators fell eerily still. A starter calmly intoned
the word, ‘Set,’ and Greene rose up with seven other sprinters.
Please shoot the gun, he thought to himself at that moment, or
my heart is going to explode from my chest. That is the power of
quiet.”
Most overrated game: Miniature Golf
“If you enjoy watching some 8-year-olds push a golf ball through
a purple-colored kangaroo house, then this is the perfect game
for you.”
Most underrated game: Wiffle Ball
“What bigger thrill than throwing a curveball with more
movement than one of Alvin Ailey’s dancers, or blasting a home
run over The House That Your Neighbor Built.”
[Richard Deitsch / SI]
Most overrated NASCAR driver: Richard Petty
“The King would drive anywhere, anytime, which allowed him
to rack up plenty of ho-hum wins among his record 200.
[Anybody remember his victory on Aug. 8, 1962 – a Wednesday
– over 15 cars at the quarter-mile track in Huntsville,
Alabama?]”
Most underrated NASCAR driver: David Pearson
“David Pearson was so smooth, so relaxed in traffic that his car
had a cigarette lighter so he could spark up a mid-race butt…It’s
mind-boggling to think what Pearson might have done in better
cars. As it is, he won 105 races in 574 starts (a winning
percentage of 18.3); Petty won his 200 in 1,177 starts, 17.0%.”
[Mark Bechtel / SI]
Petty and Pearson finished one-two 63 times, with Pearson
coming out on top 33 of those races. Even Petty himself said, “It
never hurt as bad to lose to somebody you knew was better.”
St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
February 14, 1929. The scene, a garage at 2122 N. Clark Street
in Chicago. Neighbors heard loud blasts, thinking it was some
kind of construction drilling. Then someone heard a dog bark
mournfully and went to investigate. “The place is full of dead
men,” a man cried out.
The garage was the headquarters of George “Bugs” Moran. It
was here during Prohibition that Moran received crates of illegal
hooch, which he then doled out to the speak-easies in town.
Moran wasn’t there for the massacre, but he explained afterwards
that “Only Capone kills like that!”
Capone and Moran had a huge feud, with Moran once trying to
knock off “Scarface” by slipping prussic acid into his soup.
Prohibition meant big money for the mobsters and Capone, a
sixth-grade dropout who once beat up his teacher, became the
nation’s most notorious gangster. He also proclaimed, “I own
the police!”
On that fateful day, author Jay Robert Nash says, “Capone’s
men, some dressed as cops, staged a bogus police raid on Bugs
Moran’s garage. ‘I’m gonna send Moran a Valentine he will
never forget,’ Capone reportedly vowed. And he did. There
were seven men in the garage at 10:30 that morning. Capone’s
boys lined them up against a wall. Evidently thinking the
‘police’ were about to search them, the men complied. Capone’s
soldiers opened up with submachine guns.”
Until then, the mob had been romanticized across the country.
The massacre changed all that, though Capone was only nailed a
few years later on a tax charge, not for bootlegging or murder.
[Source: U.S News & World Report]
—
Back onboard ship, I just attended a lecture by the Australian
academic Geoffrey Blainey. Now I had heard of this political
scientist / economist and I thought, hey, maybe I’ll get something
for “Week in Review”? Geezuz, this guy was dreadful. He
spoke about 6 words a minute. “And…it…should…be…no…
ted……”…ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Suddenly, I
awoke with a start. Had I been drooling all over myself? [Let’s
face it, this is everyone’s chief fear when they fall asleep at the
theater or on an airplane.] Thankfully, no, but a lot of folks
around me had! What a mess.
–Final Blackjack update: Well, it just wasn’t meant to be, I
guess. I did finally break my losing streak, winning $100 three
nights ago, only to lose $100 the following. Down just under
$300 for the trip, but lots of fun, nonetheless.
Top 3 songs for the week of 2/15/69: #1 “Everyday People” (Sly
& The Family Stone) #2 “Crimson And Clover” (Tommy James
& The Shondells) #3 “Touch Me” (The Doors)
NASCAR Quiz Answer: Last five driving champions – Tony
Stewart ’02, Jeff Gordon ’01, Bobby Labonte ’00, Dale Jarrett
’99, Jeff Gordon ’98.
*You know, now that we are either in port in Australia or nearby,
our satellite television is working better, so the other day on Euro
Sports I saw the conclusion of Davis Love’s win at Pebble. Is
this guy capable of smiling? How can he not be happy? I’m
tired of his act. [Paid for by The Rich Beem Fan Club.]
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday. The Sydney Zoo…if you keep it where
it is.
