NFL Quiz: Name the top ten receivers all time in receptions.
Answer below. [Hint: 4 are active. One is a running back.]
Jack is Back!
We’ll get into that later on, but my father and I have a little
tradition, that being we call each other after each of the 4 major
golf tournaments. So after watching Shaun Micheel’s
phenomenal shot at 18 on Sunday, the conversation went
something like this.
“Well, that was a great shot!”
“You’ve been alive 75 years and you haven’t seen any better.
And I won’t see one better the rest of my years.”
It’s that simple. Sure, dramatic shots like Bob Tway’s and Larry
Mize’s come to mind, but Micheel”s will never be matched.
I say this almost every time after a major, but it’s why these 4
weeks are the best of the year if you’re a sports fanatic.
Dave Bliss, Dirtball
Johnny Mac had a great suggestion. The “Bar Chat Dirtball of
the Year” should be renamed the Dave Bliss Memorial Trophy,
and so it will be.
Since our last report on the former Baylor basketball coach and
the controversy surrounding the murder of Patrick Dennehy, it
has come to light that Bliss was tape recorded by an assistant
coach, whom Bliss had threatened with his job if he didn’t
cooperate in Bliss’s machinations.
Specifically, Bliss told other players and coaches to say that
Dennehy was dealing drugs, in order to cover up the fact that
Bliss was illegally providing money for Dennehy to pay tuition
and a car loan. [As a transfer, Dennehy was ineligible for an
athletic scholarship.] Bliss also told players to tell investigators
that they saw Dennehy with the drugs and boatloads of cash. All
the while, as I wrote last time, it appears the whole team was
nothing but a bunch of druggies.
Then there is the case of transfer Harvey Thomas, who came to
Baylor via Georgetown. It was Thomas who evidently
threatened Dennehy and Carlton Dotson (the alleged killer now
on suicide watch), forcing both Dennehy and Dotson to purchase
guns to protect themselves. Thomas was already armed, as were
his friends. [How did this ass get into Georgetown, huh?]
Columnist Mike Lupica calls Baylor the Waco Waste-Recycling
Center, while my recent criticism of apologists like Dick Vitale
(referring to the general trend to make excuses for all coaches) is
well founded. Lupica wrote in his Sunday column:
“You always wonder just how far one of these coaches,
constantly propped up by the commentators of college basketball
as great leaders and teachers and Americans, would go to save a
job. Now we know at Baylor.”
And that’s the crux of all this. We’re talking about freakin’
Baylor, the furthest thing from a traditional basketball power
there is. Just imagine what is REALLY going on elsewhere.
As a Wake Forest alum, I’ll take a .500 program that is beyond
reproach any day over one rife with corruption. Then again, I
expect us to win the national championship this season.
Once Upon A Time In The West
In honor of the new movie, “Open Range,” I thought we’d take a
look back at a true story from the 1870s, the tale of Hugh
Anderson, gunman.
Anderson was a Texas cowboy who was part of a trail herd
moving from Saledo, Texas to Newton, Kansas in 1871. When
in Newton, Anderson learned that a good friend had been shot to
death by a railroad foreman, Mike McCluskie, the latter then
leaving town following the killing. Anderson and his friends
made it quite clear they would seek revenge and when
McCluskie returned to Newton, Anderson went after him at
Perry Tuttle’s Dance Hall.
Without waiting for McCluskie to make his move, Anderson
pumped several shots into him. As related by Jay Robert Nash in
his “Encyclopedia of Western Lawmen & Outlaws,” this set off
“one of the wildest gun battles ever witnessed in the West, later
called the Newton General Massacre.”
Though Anderson killed McCluskie, he was wounded in the
ensuing battle himself but was able to flee town. Friends then
tended his wounds and it was two years later, June 1873, that
McCluskie’s brother, Arthur, who had been looking for
Anderson, arrived in Medicine Lodge, Kansas, where Anderson
was tending bar at Harding’s Trading Post.
An associate of Arthur McCluskie, Richards, went into
Harding’s and told Anderson that Arthur was outside. In looking
to settle the score, Arthur McCluskie was giving Anderson a
choice of knives or guns. Anderson chose guns, asking Harding
to be his second in a duel that was formal for the Old West.
Anderson then closed the bar, “telling grumbling patrons that he
had ‘a chore to do’ and would be back in a few minutes. He
never returned.”
Now the only way I can do the rest of the story justice is to quote
extensively from Nash’s book, so I hope Mr. Nash doesn”t mind.
[I paid for the book, sir.]
“Once outside, Hugh Anderson stood back to back with Arthur
McCluskie, walked twenty paces and, at the command, turned
around and fired repeatedly, as did his opponent. A crowd in the
hundreds had gathered around the blood fight and were making
loud wagers as the first shots went wild. Then McCluskie’s
second bullet found its mark, smashing into Anderson’s arm and
breaking it. The cowboy-bartender sank to his knees in pain,
attempting to stop the flow of blood from an artery. He then
aimed at McCluskie with his good hand and his bullet smashed
into McCluskie’s mouth. McCluskie spat out gobs of blood and
broken teeth and fired again, advancing on Anderson. With
deliberate aim, Anderson fired twice more, his bullets striking
McCluskie in the leg and the stomach. Now McCluskie crashed
to the ground and appeared to be dying. But he worked himself
to a kneeling position and fired at Anderson, striking him in the
abdomen. Anderson pitched backward, gasping for air.
“Both men appeared to be dying but McCluskie showed some
signs of life, pulling out a knife and then crawling painfully to
his foe where he sank the knife to the hilt in Anderson’s side. At
the same moment, Anderson, his own knife in his hand, swiped
McCluskie’s neck, cutting his throat. Both men then collapsed
and died within seconds of each other. The gamblers collected
their wagers and the bodies were dragged off for a quick burial.
Harding, who had seconded Anderson, showed remarkable
restraint in this duel. When both men were shot to the ground
and before they pulled their knives, many in the crowd began to
step forward to stop the battle but Harding, holding a shotgun,
warned them not to interfere, allowing the combatants to kill
each other, according to the rules they had agreed upon.”
But wait, Nash never says who died first? Who collected what?
Darn, looks like I’m going to have to go myself someday to
Medicine Lodge. Hell, I already went to Dodge City last fall.
[Actually, there is another Anderson who is even more famous,
that being William Anderson, a k a “Bloody Bill.” A real mean
SOB, by looking at his picture. I might have to do his story next
week.]
You Won’t Believe This One
Following are excerpts from an actual correspondence between
the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality and one
Ryan DeVries…as relayed by Harry K….concerning a parcel of
land in Montcalm County.
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the
above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as
the legal landowner and / or contractor who did the following
unauthorized activity. Construction and maintenance of two
wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the Department’s files shows that no permits have
been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this
activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams….
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams
partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and
flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this
nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted….
[The state then asks DeVries to do all manner of restoration
work. DeVries replies.]
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter has been handed to me to respond to. I am
the legal landowner but not the contractor at 2088 Dagget,
Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the process of
constructing and maintaining two wood “debris” dams across the
outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for,
authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be
highly offended that you call their skillful use of nature’s
building materials “debris.” I would like to challenge your
department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and /
or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no
way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their
dam determination and / or their dam work ethic……..
I have several concerns. My first concern is – aren’t the beavers
entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
financially destitute and unable to pay for said representation –
so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer………
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can
be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now.
Why wait (until January)? The Spring Pond Beavers may be
under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your
dam staff to contact / harass them then…….
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable
to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending
this response to your dam office.
Ryan DeVries
*Editor note: Well, there you go. No wonder the beavers
sometimes have an attitude. They get treated with no respect.
But I, for one, will forever look at them differently and the next
time I have the need to build an addition, or redesign a room in
my place, I’m doing what I hope all of you do….call the beavers.
Stuff
–So Tiger is now winless in his last 6 majors, and in some
respects you could say, “Jack is back!” Jack? Yup, suddenly,
Jack Nicklaus, who used to be unstinting in his praise of Woods,
is beginning to retreat on Tiger’s superiority, with Jack’s 18
professional majors once again looking like a pretty lofty target
now that Tiger is stuck on 8. And as we’ve seen all year, the fear
factor where Woods is concerned is history.
As for David Duval, check this out. Duval, who withdrew after
four holes in the second round this week, played a total of 130
holes in the four majors this year and shot 63-over. In all
tournaments in ‘03, Duval has hit 46.8% of his fairways. The
all-time worst in this category is Scott Verplank’s 42.1% in
1991, a year in which Verplank missed 25 of 26 cuts.
And just an aside to Phil W., a good friend of John Feinstein, that
was a terrific piece Feinstein did on Paul Azinger during
Saturday’s round.
Two other notes. Phil Mickelson is now 0 for 42 in majors, with
guys like Ben Curtis and Shaun Micheel ahead of him.
But congratulations to 49-year-old Jay Haas, who tied for 5th. I
do hope he wins one of these last tournaments of the year,
however. It would be a great way to cap off a career before he
scorches the Champions Tour.
–Waiting for CBS’ coverage of the PGA to come on Saturday, I
stumbled onto “Soul Train.” Now it must be 20+ years since
I’ve watched this (I loved it as a kid), but I just have to say
……geezuz, those girls are somethin’ else!
The Soooouuuuuuuuuuullllll Trrraaaiiiiinnn…..
–A new report on how former FBI agent Robert Hanssen eluded
detection for 20 years reveals that the FBI was solely focusing on
a particular CIA officer in looking for a mole. The poor CIA guy
kept proclaiming his innocence, as did his superiors. Just
imagine how awful it must have been for him. Meanwhile, in his
entire 25-year career (20 working for the Soviets), Hanssen had
never been administered a polygraph.
–“Freddy vs. Jason.” Never saw any of their flicks, to tell you
the truth, which doesn’t make me a bad person.
–2,000 packed the cathedral in St. Paul, Minnesota for the
funeral of Herb Brooks, with hundreds more outside, quite a
tribute. 19 of the 20 1980 Olympic team members were in
attendance, with the 20th going to the wake. And it was a
touching moment, when Brooks’s coffin was taken from the
cathedral, to see the honorary pallbearers all raising hockey
sticks.
Vyacheslav Fetisov, a member of the 1980 Russian team, had an
op-ed in the New York Times the other day.
“There’s no need to hide the fact that the triumph of an American
team that was modest in all respects over the magnificent team of
the Soviet Union was a shock to us. Many spoke of a chain of
unfortunate coincidences, about bad luck. It was only years later
– when I was able to taste the bitter bread of being a coach
myself – that I fully understood how great Herb Brooks’s
achievement had been.”
–As Johnny Mac likes to remind us all, the Colorado Rockies’
Todd Helton is no superstar. The Rockies were playing the Mets
this weekend and the announcers had fun discussing the
difference in Helton’s batting average, home and away.
Coors Field…career, .379!
Away….290
By comparison, Mike Piazza has a .338 career average on the
road, .303 at home.
–Mets tidbit: Outfielder Cliff Floyd has been playing hurt all
season and announced last Thursday that he was going to shut
himself down following Monday’s game in order to have surgery,
thus ensuring his readines for the start of next season.
So all Floyd did was go 10 for 11, yup, 10 for 11, Friday through
Sunday. The fans gave him two standing ovations during
Sunday’s contest.
–Final preseason college football poll, this one from the AP
1. Oklahoma
2. Ohio State
3. Miami
4. Michigan
5. Texas
6. Auburn
7. Kansas State
8. USC…all together…Love them cheerleaders!
9. Virginia Tech
10. Pittsburgh
25. TCU!
–With all my talk of Detroit the past two weeks following my
visit there, the city deserves credit for handling the blackout as
well as it did. Kind of makes you want to catch a Tigers game,
doesn’t it? The Tigers are 31-91 thru Sunday, keeping pace with
the ’62 Mets.
–Interesting 8-player trade in the NBA between the Dallas
Mavericks and the Golden State Warriors, especially if you’re a
Dallas fan. Nick Van Exel was the marquee player going to
Golden State, but Dallas received Antawn (sic) Jamison
(20.2 ppg., 7.5 reb.) and Danny Fortson (11.7 rebounds in
2001-02). In other words, Jamison and Fortson join Nowitzki,
Finley, LaFrentz and Steve Nash. The playoffs next year are
going to be super, especially, once again, in the West.
–Garrett Morris was a great Idi Amin.
–Prince Harry received a D in geography and a B in art so he
couldn’t get into a top university in Britain. Instead, Harry’s
going into the army. I like this kid. We have something in
common, ‘Ds’.
–The minor leagues drew 9.4 million in July, the largest total in
more than 50 years.
–Sports Illustrated has been polling the 50 states as to greatest
homegrown athletes, fan favorites, etc. For the latest poll, New
Jersey, you have some of the following.
44% call themselves Yankees fans
23% Mets
15% Phillies
39% Giants fans
18% Jets
13% Eagles
82% are principally fans of pro sports
7% college
11% equal…N.J., of course, has no major college teams, except
Rutgers………………..cough cough.
But get this, the same story has the “50 Greatest New Jersey
Sports Figures” and you start out with the following.
1. Carl Lewis, Willingboro
2. Rick Barry, Roselle Park
3. Franco Harris, Mount Holly
4. Amos Alonzo Stagg, West Orange…didn’t know this
5. Marty Liquori, Cedar Grove…super pick
6. Goose Goslin, Salem
7. Joe Medwick, Cartaret
8. Anne Donovan, Ridgewood….oh, c’mon
9. Renaldo Nehemiah, Newark…
10. Mickey Walker, Elizabeth…boxer from 1920s
And on and on, including Dick Button, Monte Irvin, Larry Doby,
Bill Parcells, Paul Robeson, Jim Ringo, Joe Theismann, Milt
Campbell…but no Willie Wilson!!!!! Now this blows. I mean
they have some guy named Charlie Berry / Phillipsburg who was
an NFL All-Pro in 1925 and ’26, a major league catcher for 11
years who hit a whopping .267 with 539 hits, and then was an
NFL official and AL umpire. Big, freakin’ deal. And he’s #21!
Then there’s Cathy Rush / West Atlantic City, whose claim to
fame is that she coached Immaculata College’s women’s
basketball team to three straight AIAW titles (1971-74). She’s
#25.
At #49, we have Joseph Burk / Beverly, the world’s top sculler
from 1937-41. Gimme a break!!!!
Wilson, whom I went to high school with in Summit, as regulars
are sick of hearing (but I paid for this site and you’re going to get
it again), was the greatest high school football player this state
ever produced and an excellent basketball player, but made his
mark in the major leagues, accumulating 2,207 hits, 668 stolen
bases, a batting championship, a World Series ring…he should
be about #20.
Hell, looking at some of the others, you could also build a strong
case for Billy Ard, a college classmate of mine, who was a super
lineman for the Super Bowl champion Giants.
Cancel my subscription, SI! [But not until after the next swimsuit
issue, OK?]
–Listen, I’m already upset, as you can see, and then Johnny Mac
passes along the latest pub law in Ireland that went into effect on
Monday.
The Intoxicating Liquor Act of 2003 mandates that all those
under the age of 18 must be out of the pubs by 9:00 PM and
closing time on Thursdays has been moved to 11:30 PM from
12:30 AM. [I’m not concerned about this last one, because after
15 trips I have connections to keep me imbibing until 2 or 3.]
According to the Washington Times’ William Glanz, Irish
President Mary McAleese has called her country’s attitude
toward drinking “unhealthy” and “sinister.”
Actually, I didn’t realize per-capita alcohol consumption
increased 49 percent in the country between 1989 and 2001. But
I took my first trip in 1989, so it’s possible they’ve been
accidentally including my consumption when I’m not an Irish
citizen!
But as to this whole idea of booting out the young people; as
anyone can tell you who’s been there, this is a major part of the
charm of the place, little kids running around their parents’
knees, the town elders talking to them. Take your country back,
lads!
–Guinness Is Good For You.
–Guinness Is Good Food. [After all, it has twice has much of the
essential food groups as the nearest competitor.]
–The latest research, taking advantage of data from the Human
Genome Project, reveals that rats share more DNA with humans
than humans do with other animals, including dogs, pigs and,
believe it or not, monkeys. [Source: Nature] Which means that
when James Cagney uttered the words, “You dirty rat,” he was
close to the truth. [I originally had Edward G. Robinson, my
bad!]
–In Romania, a sheepdog found a newborn wrapped in
swaddling clothes in the middle of a remote field, then carried
the bundle 2 miles to its owners’ house to get help. The baby
survived. The mother who abandoned the child had yet to be
found. Once again, dogs prove to be better than humans. Maybe
we should be looking for studies showing we are closer to them.
–I finally finished “Seabiscuit.” Man, that horse was overrated.
It also rained a lot back then, didn’t it?
–Just once, once, I’d like to swing like Ernie Els.
Top 3 songs for the week of 8/18/73: #1 “Touch Me In The
Morning” (Diana Ross) #2 “Live And Let Die” (Wings) #3
“Brother Louie” (Stories)…lots of crosscurrents in music in ’73.
NFL Quiz Answer: Top ten career receptions.
1. Jerry Rice…1,456 (18 seasons, 14.8 avg., 192 TD)
2. Cris Carter…1,101 (16, 12.6, 130)
3. Tim Brown…1,018 (15, 13.9, 97)
4. Andre Reed…951 (16, 13.9, 87)
5. Art Monk…940 (16, 13.5, 68)
6. Irving Fryar…851 (17, 15.0, 84)
7. Steve Largent…819 (14, 16.0, 100)
8. Henry Ellard…814 (16, 16.9, 65)
9. Larry Centers…808 (13, 8.3, 27)
10. James Lofton…764 (16, 18.3, 75)
*Centers is the running back. Shannon Sharpe is #11 with 753.
But here are two that will make major noise on the list.
Marvin Harrison has 665 receptions after just 7 seasons, while
Jimmy Smith is at 664 after 9.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday…Ray Charles! [He’s more interesting
than Stevie Wonder.]
