Baseball Quiz: 1) Name the top five in runs scored. 2) Name the
top five in stolen bases. 3) Name the top five in bases on balls.
[Hint: On this last one, #5 is kind of a surprise, best known for
play in 1970s.] Answers below.
Stuff
–The Oscars:
Always liked Sean Penn in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”
Republicans thank Tim Robbins for not being a jerk in accepting
his award.
Angelina Jolie…yowzah yowzah
Billy Crystal’s opening was pretty funny, as usual, but then he
always gets too precious.
Seeing Blake Edwards get an award had to make you want to go
out and rent all the Pink Panther movies. Ah yes, when
Hollywood had some good, clean fun that even kids could go to.
Diane Lane is absolutely awesome. Anyone have her number?
Naomi Watts needs to eat some carbs, for crying out loud.
I still can’t figure out Sofia Coppola.
Good for Charlize Theron.
Congratulations to Peter Jackson.
And this column would be nothing, and is nothing, without the
support of all the little people. Thank you for coming and
drive home safely! ………………………………………………….
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Oops, forgot I have to write a bit more.
–Thanks to Dan L. for passing along a terrific dog story out of
Alaska. A Labrador retriever by the name of Brick had been
given up for dead after the boat it was in sank in rough seas. The
owner, Greg Clark, was never found following the January
incident where the 32-foot-boat broke up on rocks within the
Tongass National Forest. Clark, a beach logger, lived alone on
one of the islands with his dozen Labs and their pups and was a
beloved fellow in this tight-knit community of fishermen and
loggers.
So on February 19, Kevin Dau was out fishing with his father
near where the accident occurred when they spotted a black
animal on the beach.
The father cried, “That’s a wolf,” but Kevin said, “No, that’s
Brick.” Kevin started calling “Brick! Brick!” Brick swam out
to their boat, injured leg and all, and was hauled aboard. While
having lost a ton of weight, Brick is said to be recovering nicely
and it’s meant a lot to the citizens of the area.
–Then there’s Baltimore Ravens star running back Jamal Lewis,
one of the dumber people on the planet even if he did rush for a
single-game NFL record 295 yards last fall, on his way to
finishing the season with over 2,000. Following his being
drafted out of Tennessee in 2000, it turns out that Lewis was
being investigated for being part of a cocaine distribution ring,
though it wasn’t until last week that federal charges were levied
against him. Tape recordings and other evidence clearly speak to
Lewis’ involvement. This isn’t the first time the idiot (ever listen
to him talk?) has messed up. In 2001 he was suspended for
violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy and he was once
charged with shoplifting.
And, of course, Jamal isn’t the only “Lewis” to face federal
charges. A few years back you had the murder trial of All-Pro
linebacker Ray Lewis, who ended up pleading guilty to a lesser
charge in return for testimony against two others, only to see
them acquitted later. But as Johnny Mac told me, with Jamal in
deep trouble, it could set up the filming of “The Longest Yard
II.” Maybe former Nets star Jayson Williams, currently in the
midst of his own ugly trial for manslaughter, could play a
defensive lineman in the movie.
–Boy, if nothing else, this year’s baseball season promises to be
volatile thanks to the steroid issue. The players are increasingly
splitting into two camps; those who decry the fact their game is
being tarnished and the others, those who are using yet continue
to deny the fact that they are. Of course the most obvious case
involves Barry Bonds, who, shall we say, isn’t exactly handling
all the attention very well…another sign of steroid use, quite
frankly. The other day Colorado reliever Turk Wendell said it
was “clear just seeing his body” that Bonds was taking steroids.
Addressing the issue of Bonds’ personal trainer being one of four
indicted in the BALCO case, Wendell said, “If my personal
trainer…got indicted for that, there’s no one in the world who
wouldn’t think that I wasn’t taking steroids. I mean, what,
because he’s Barry Bonds, no one’s going to say that? I mean,
obviously he did it. (His trainer) admitted to giving steroids to
baseball players. He just doesn’t want to say his name. You
don’t have to. It’s clear just seeing his body.”
Wendell’s teammate, pitcher Denny Neagle, added, “It is a pretty
good coincidence that some of the names that are linked to them
are the guys that are the big, massive, overmuscular looking
guys,” he told the Denver Post, referring not just to Bonds, but
also Gary Sheffield and Jason Giambi, two others who testified.
Bonds shot back in a typical, expletive-laced tirade during an
interview.
“I heard about (Wendell’s) comments. If you’ve got something
to say, say it to my face.” [We omitted at least two F-bombs
here.] Then Barry issued his warning.
“It’s going to be a battle and a war. That’s just what it’s going to
be. I think sometimes a couple of people got a little bit too
comfortable (pitching to) me, and those things are going to
change. And it’s going to change quick. Real quick…
“There’s going to be a respect level. I’ll respect you if you
respect me. But if not, then we’re going to deal with that on the
field…I don’t ever threaten anyone. But things will be
different.”
[ESPN.com / AP]
Encouragingly, when Wendell entered the Rockies’ clubhouse
after his comments were made public, he was greeted with high-
fives from many of his teammates. Wendell told the Star-
Ledger’s Lawrence Rocca later “I got a positive response from
players all over baseball.”
Where we’re really headed is a constant dose of beanball wars,
with the fans not always knowing the inner workings of some of
the personal battles taking place on the field. We aren’t privy to
all the whispers among teammates in the clubhouse and with
players moving between teams as much as they do these days,
developing friendships and enemies in many locations, the
tension will only increase. And some fans are going to get
involved, too. It won’t just be the booing that will be reserved
for those implicated, though this will be vicious, some jerks will
take it way too far, that’s a certainty, and we shouldn’t be
surprised at anything that happens…such as players heading into
the stands, clubbing a fan or two. It’s going to get real, real ugly.
But on a more cerebral level, Todd Zeile, an influential member
of the Players Association and now back with the Mets, had
some common sense remarks on the issue.
“If the Players Association and Major League Baseball are
serious about trying to clean up the game, as all the rhetoric
during the last negotiations indicated, they should all welcome
some sort of real probative investigation – as long as it”s done
within the proper parameters.”
Zeile scoffs at the notion that only 5 to 7 percent of players are
on steroids, as results from last year’s testing indicated.
“How could it be 5 to 7 percent when everybody in the game
knew they were going to be tested? They were tested once and
never tested again. That’s ridiculous. That’s an IQ test. That
means that of the people (tested)…at least 5 to 7 percent couldn’t
avoid it even when they knew they were going to be tested.”
And Zeile breaks it down to the point that many are missing in
this debate.
“It’s not only illegal, but it’s cheating. I don’t know why that
isn’t talked about more. I know whatever I did in this game, I
did on my own merit, period…Whether that’s something people
have to deal with internally, I would hope there’s enough moral
fiber there that people at least struggle with it.”
I didn’t care initially, but I’m glad Zeile is back as a Met for one
last season and I’ll be pulling for him big time.
[Source: David Waldstein / Star-Ledger]
And one last opinion, for today, that being from the New York
Times’ Harvey Araton.
“If Bonds is so insulted by the doubters, if he has been willing to
test comprehensively to quiet them, he should have spoken out
all these years when the union was reacting to calls for testing as
if it were a salary cap. He should have shown the independent
streak he was so quick to demonstrate recently when the subject
was the marketing of merchandise.
“If all of these guys were clean, why did they hide behind
Donald Fehr when the cash registers began ringing after the 1994
strike. Where were Bonds and Sheffield and the others when it
took management and labor about 20 minutes to agree on a weak
testing plan that was designed to disappear, and would have if
enough players…weren’t so arrogant or ignorant that they
couldn’t pass a test they knew was coming?
“As Christine Brennan wrote in USA Today, the 5 to 7 percent
(who tested positive) ‘might sound pretty low until you consider
that in the U.S. Olympic movement last year, the percentage of
those who failed tests was 0.4 percent, according to the U.S.
Anti-Doping Agency.’ And those results were derived in part
from unannounced testing, far more stringent than baseball’s.
The happy spin put on its first round of testing was a bigger
disgrace than anything out of Pete Rose’s mouth.”
–I have to give A-Rod (Alex Rodriguez, for those of you from
out of town), a ton of credit thus far. He is handling the media
crush beautifully. Teammate Jason Giambi, on the other hand,
couldn’t be handling the pressure he’s facing worse.
–Many have pointed out that Mark McGwire is really getting an
easy ride on the steroid issue. Again, the final offshoot of all this
will have to be the addition of *asterisks next to some names on
the home run list. I don’t know how you’ll possibly be able to
decide who gets one, but over time (maybe not for 5-10 years),
the sport will have to address it.
–All the more reason why many of us hope this 2004 season is
“The Year of the Pitcher.” Sports Illustrated listed five super
pitching rotations; the Cubs, Astros, Red Sox, Yankees, and A’s.
For all the talk of the Bosox and Yankees, though, I choose the
other three.
Cubs
Mark Prior, 18-6, 2.43
Kerry Wood, 14-11, 3.20
Greg Maddux, 16-11, 3.96
Matt Clement, 14-12, 4.11
Carlos Zambrano, 13-11, 3.11
Astros
Roy Oswalt, 10-5, 2.97
Andy Pettitte, 21-8, 4.02
Roger Clemens, 17-9, 3.91
Wade Miller, 14-13, 4.13
Tim Redding, 10-14, 3.68
A’s
Tim Hudson, 16-7, 2.70
Barry Zito, 14-12, 3.30
Mark Mulder, 15-9, 3.13
Mark Redman, 14-9, 3.59
Rich Harden, 5-4, 4.46
Personally, I have to go with Oakland’s staff.
–The New York Yankees payroll has climbed from $52 million
in 1996 to over $180 million today.
–Holy, cow! The Sunday New York Times had a front page
story on the wild life running free in Florida, thanks to its
tropical clime and the fact people are able to order every kind of
exotic pet imaginable and then they dump them when they get
too big. One 22-foot reticulated python was found under a Fort
Lauderdale home recently, with the python chowing down on a
raccoon, no less. And Nile monitor lizards are all over Cape
Coral, with 39 having been killed in an attempt to track the
suckers down before they start swallowing the elderly, including
their walkers. [The monitor lizards have been frozen, so
researchers really don’t know what the monsters have been
attacking. Of course it only takes one mad scientist to start
breeding them with Raptors and then we have a real problem.]
One obvious solution is to BAN THE IMPORTATION OF ALL
ANIMALS EXCEPT FOR ZOOS. Geezuz, folks. Why the hell
do we allow anyone in this country to own a tiger, a lion, or a
friggin’ Nile monitor lizard?!
Sorry, I’m getting carried away, even if I am right. There is one
easy solution, a deep freeze. Some scientists say that one 25
degree night would probably do the trick, only one problem.
Miami has never seen the temperature that low…at least for 200
years.
–Back to steroids, because I can’t leave this issue for more than
an hour, let me state a personal opinion. I couldn’t care less
about one professional athlete who is harming their body. I have
far greater concerns in my life, as should 99% of you. I do,
however, care about the kids who see today’s stars as role
models and juice up to be like their heroes. For this reason, it’s
necessary to punish severely those who are found guilty to make
examples of them. The bench calls Barry Bonds…………
–Though I’m strictly an ACC basketball fan (and isn’t Wake
peaking at the right time?!), my sleeper squad is Seton Hall.
Point guard Andre Barrett has had a super year….and as all of us
college hoops fans know…altogether now…GUARD PLAY IS
KEY COME TOURNAMENT TIME!
–An American study conducted by Pfizer, makers of Viagra, has
shown that when it comes to improving sexual performance,
women are hard to treat…………..I’m waiting for the e-mails to
start arriving……………………
43% of women experience sexual dysfunction, compared with
31% of men, but any drug designed to boost a woman’s sexual
desire must “alter the brain chemistry.”
A specialist in sexual medicine, Edna Astbury-Ward, told the
London Times, “In women arousal may come from something in
the ether. Desire may be set off by a look, or if she experiences a
feeling of bonding and intimacy….A pill may make women
more aware of their genitalia, but if there is a block in the female
mind, that will prevent her from wanting to have sex.”
So work on the look, guys, whatever that is supposed to be.
–Update: Since I wrote quite a bit on this issue, for the record
we’re pleased to see that National Zoo Director Dr. Lucy
Spellman was forced to resign following a scathing report issued
by the National Academy of Sciences. The group actually found
so many problems at the zoo, at all levels, that it made its
recommendation for change six months earlier than expected.
Just on Monday, 2/23, there was another mysterious death when
a lioness died during surgery for an infection. It’s time to let the
animals go and take revenge……………..plus it would probably
help with crime fighting in D.C.
–Darryl Strawberry is truly one of the great idiots of our time.
He’s also a pitiful character and I can see how some feel sorry
for him, but once again he showed just how dumb he can be.
Last year the Straw Man begged Yankee owner George
Steinbrenner to give him a 17th chance and King George made
him a player development instructor. But when Strawberry
didn’t show for the first day of workouts recently, Steinbrenner
tracked him down. Turns out Darryl had pressing business with
his new church….The Church of Losers Who Will Always Be
Losers. Yet Darryl insisted he still wanted to work with the
Yankees. George immediately canned him.
–Tiger Woods won his 40th PGA Tour event in just his 149th
start. Jack Nicklaus needed 221 events to hit 40.
–Maker’s Mark bourbon is 50 years old, though it wasn’t until a
front page article in the Wall Street Journal in 1980 that its sales
took off. Today, the Loretto, Kentucky distillery sells about
650,000 cases a year.
–The current 8-year, $17.8 billion NFL television contract
expires after the 2005 season, but the league is already looking to
negotiate a new one with the networks.
But I’ll tell you what sucks about this matter. The NFL is
already calling for more February games and moving back the
start of the season 1 or 2 weeks, so as to hit “Sweeps Month.”
Plus, the league wants to move starting times to 2 and 5 PM ET.
I have a problem with both these proposals. First, the season is
long enough as it is, and second, a change in times really screws
up my Sunday television viewing. You know, it’s not easy
juggling “60 Minutes” and “The Simpsons;” moving the second
game to 5:00 would only make this worse. Now I can’t be alone
on this.
–Mike Tyson was recently sentenced to 6 months psychiatric
counseling for his role in a June brawl at a Brooklyn hotel. It
was the first time in ages reporters had seen Tyson, who despite
earning an estimated $400 million in his career is $34 million in
debt. Since no state in the U.S. will grant Tyson a boxing license
these days, the 37-year-old creature from hell has vowed to fight
in Mexico and elsewhere around the world to pay the bills.
–Yankee outfielder Bernie Williams had an emergency
appendectomy last week and the team expects him to be out 3
weeks. Wimp. Wake Forest basketball player Taron Downey
had the same surgery last fall and he was back on the court in
one week! [Paid for by Wake Forest Alumni Association.]
–Hey Jets fans, the team made a significant, if little publicized,
move this week in signing quarterback Ricky Ray. Ray led
Edmonton to the Grey Cup Championship of the Canadian
Football League, throwing 34 TD passes and just 13
interceptions. He could be a quality backup for Chad
Pennington.
–Disgraced college basketball coach Dave Bliss, who presided
over Baylor’s program, is now working at a sporting goods store
outside Denver. He should be in prison.
–Boy, this is tragic. Race walker Albert Heppner, 29, who
finished fifth in the Olympic trials on February 15, was so
distraught he killed himself. He had failed to qualify in 2000 as
well.
–Dave D’Alessandro of the Star-Ledger brings up a good point
concerning former Wake Forest star Darius Songaila, now with
the Sacramento Kings. The other day Songaila had 17 points and
13 rebounds in a win over the Knicks. This is the same Songaila
who was once the property of the pitiful Celtics and Danny
Ainge gave him away for a bunch of 2nd round draft picks.
–You just can’t make this stuff up and I have to quote Sports
Illustrated rather extensively to get it right.
“The head of the Phillie Phanatic, which was pinched from the
Wachovia Center at a charity function on Feb. 6, has been
recovered. Bernard Bechtel showed up on Feb. 17 to collect a
$5,000 reward at a Philadelphia radio station lugging the
oversized green noggin, which he claimed he took from two kids
who were fleeing with it from the arena. But within minutes
Bechtel was being led from the building by police, who say he
was the headnapper. The cops had received tips fingering
Bechtel, 37, who also raised the suspicion of deejay Tommy
Conwell when he claimed to be from Conshohocken but
repeatedly mispronounced the name of the town. He faces
charges of theft, receiving stolen property and trespassing.”
Top 3 songs for the week of 3/6/65: #1 “My Girl” (The
Temptations) #2 “This Diamond Ring” (Gary Lewis & The
Playboys) #3 “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’” (The Righteous
Brothers)
Baseball Quiz Answers: 1) Top 5 runs scored – Rickey
Henderson, 2295; Ty Cobb, 2245; Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron
tied with 2174; Pete Rose, 2165. [Barry Bonds, 1941] 2) Top 5
stolen bases – Rickey Henderson, 1406; Lou Brock, 938; Ty
Cobb, 892; Tim Raines, 808; Vince Coleman, 752. 3) Top 5
bases on balls – Rickey Henderson, 2190; Barry Bonds, 2070;
Babe Ruth, 2062; Ted Williams, 2021; Joe Morgan, 1865.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday. House party.
