NFL Quiz: 1) Name the nine with 40,000 yards passing. 2) Who
is the last to score 6 TDs in a game? Answers below.
Desert Tales / Roadrunner Goes Splat
When we last checked in with Ken S., Nebraskan and huge
Husker fan, he had taken that great motorcycle trip through
Alaska. This time it was the southwest, and a feathered friend
met his end.
“I went on a solo motorcycle trip from Nebraska through Kansas,
Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada,
Utah, Wyoming and back to Nebraska. Three weeks and 6,000
miles. Doesn’t everybody ride motorcycles along the south edge
of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California in August? It
was 108 degrees when I rode into Phoenix to visit distant
relatives. The funny thing that happened was about 15 miles east
of Eagle Pass, Texas which is right on the U.S. / Mexico border.
“It was so hot, over 100 degrees, that I took off my leather chaps
and just had on wash pants. I saw this roadrunner bird on the
edge of the pavement start across the road in front of me. He
must have leaped just before I hit him. He hit my right knee as I
was going about 70 mph and it felt like somebody had hit me
with a baseball bat.
“I looked down and could only see blood and gore. Something
yellow was sticking out of my knee. I couldn’t stop due to no
road shoulder and rode into Eagle Pass, got a motel room and
then looked at my knee. I had the tip of the bird’s bill, about ¼”
long, stuck in my knee and a semi-circular piece of bill also in it.
I pulled them out and touched up the wounds with an alcohol
swab from my first aid kit. No apparent lasting damage, except
an urge to run across roads and hide in the weeds.”
Ken also offers that we should be watching Nebraska’s new
West Coast offense this fall.
Desert Tales / Runner Dies
Christopher Reynolds had a terrific piece in the Los Angeles
Times a week ago concerning the death of runner Margaret
Bradley in the Grand Canyon. Bradley, who completed this
spring’s Boston Marathon in a little over three hours, decided to
try a 27-mile trail run in a single day with a male companion,
who remains anonymous throughout this story.
I’ve done some pretty stupid things, running-wise, in my
lifetime, like completing a marathon when I was clearly
dehydrated at the mid-way point, but this episode takes the cake.
To begin with, Bradley and her friend opted to do this run in
July, when anyone familiar with the area wouldn’t think about it
until October. And for most experienced “hikers” it would be a
three-day trek, with lots of planning.
In the desert heat, a hiker can lose a liter (slightly more than a
quart) of fluid through sweat, sometimes up to three liters, in a
single hour. Without water, write authors Michael P. Ghiglieri
and Thomas M. Myers in their book “Over the Edge: Death in
Grand Canyon,” dehydration, hyperthermia and exertion in the
canyon can “turn people, inch by inch, into heat zombies.” In the
case of Bradley, for the full 27-mile run she had packed only 1.5
liters of water (her companion had 4) and 3 protein bars.
The two took off about 9:00 AM and by 3:00 PM were in
trouble. The companion at this point couldn’t go any further and
curled up in the shade to rest. They had covered 12 miles, the
temperature was over 100, and they were already out of water.
What followed was a further series of tragic miscalculations.
Grand Canyon park ranger Marc Yeston commented that as a
hiker heats up, “the body is going to start to divert blood to the
parts of the brain that are more basic. The parts of the brain that
you might have used to make nuanced decisions about your
situation – they’re compromised. Long before a person seems
drunk or delirious, they’re already going to have a subtle loss of
fine motor coordination and critical thinking…and even
difficulty referencing past experiences.”
The two decided that Bradley would go on, looking for help,
while the guy stayed back. They should have stayed together.
Instead of sticking to the original planned trail, Bradley went
looking for water. The route she took meant she wouldn’t find it
for another 11 miles.
The companion awoke early the next day and he felt well enough
to hike out. About 7:00 AM, 22 hours after he and Bradley
started their run, he found a U.S. Geological Service employee
who had a satellite radio. Together they reached a nearby hidden
cache of water. But according to Yeston, “nowhere in (their)
conversation did we get information that he was a runner, that
he’d crossed the Tonto (Trail), or that there were two of them.”
Apparently, the companion just assumed that Bradley had hiked
out of the canyon. He never transmitted that she might need
rescuing. Bradley’s family, though, was scheduled to meet her in
Flagstaff that afternoon. When she didn’t show, they began
contacting the Park Service and a massive manhunt finally got
started, but not until 18 hours after the companion had hooked up
with the Geological Service fellow.
Within five hours the Park Service found Bradley’s body. She
was in a sleeping position. The forensic examiner later ruled that
she had been dead 12 to 24 hours. “The USGS employee with
the satellite phone had run into her partner about 31 hours
earlier,” reports Christopher Reynolds. The cause of death was
“dehydration due to environmental heat exposure.” Had Bradley
stuck to the original trail plan, she would have run into about 100
people the next day. An intensive investigation revealed no
wrong-doing on the part of her companion…outside of amazing
negligence and stupidity.
Olympic Thoughts
–Regarding the above, I can”t imagine running a marathon in 100
degree heat as the women did on Sunday. [I ran one with the temp
in the 80s down in South Carolina and it was brutal.]
–100-meter sprint champ Justin Gatlin”s coach admitted he was
the source of the BALCO investigation. No one understands his
motives, seeing as he coached Marion Jones and Tim Montgomery.
–OK, Michael Phelps is one amazing swimmer, and an equally
good guy. I have to admit I got into the swimming far more than
I expected to. Of course it helped that as Mark R. and I mused,
the U.S. women are rather attractive. Goodness gracious. Or as
Dick Enberg is fond of saying, “My, oh my.”
As for Phelps, with the six golds and two bronzes, he’ll earn over
$500,000 from U.S. Olympic and swimming groups, though by
my understanding he falls one gold short of taking home a $1
million bonus Speedo had offered for matching Mark Spitz’s
record 7 golds.
The U.S. Olympic Committee increased its gold-medal payout to
$25,000 for all athletes in these games. A silver medalist gets
$15,000 and a bronze medal winner $10,000. But when you
consider all the time going into each effort, obviously no one is
getting rich, with the possible exception of Phelps.
Many countries do similar things, though others just don’t have
the funds. Australia supposedly stopped paying bonuses because
it was taking away from funds needed to develop new talent.
The Brits had similar reasons for holding back.
Now if you are from Singapore and you capture a gold in any
sport, you receive a $300,000 bonus. Italy pays out $160,000,
while Ukraine and Indonesia fork over $100,000. [Bloomberg
News]
–Following are some thoughts on the USA men’s basketball
team. Columnist Mike Wise of the Washington Post:
“First, before we bury them, a confession: I loved seeing the
United States go down against Puerto Rico. I wanted that team
to be so embarrassed by the international talent here that David
Stern would one day be told by the commissioner of the
European League: ‘Nice team, Mr. Stern. Maybe one day your
players will again compete with us.’…
“What put me over the top was the complete disregard, for years,
of any other basketball played outside the United States…For so
long, NBA players treated teams (from Argentina, Italy or
Lithuania) like the Lakers lackadaisically treated the Pistons in
the NBA Finals.”
And in commenting on the great “team” play of the likes of
Lithuania, Wise had this to say:
“Think about it. At every level of advancement – be it high
school, their AAU summer team or, in the case of Carmelo
Anthony at Syracuse for a season – almost every U.S. player has
been the focal point of an offense. All their lives, four other
players waited for them to come downcourt and were told to look
for them before anybody else.”
Mark R. said, “After having to endure years of hearing ‘white
men can’t jump’…” Well, let me just say that our sterling
backcourt of Allen Iverson and Stephon Marbury shot 6 for 26
from the field against Lithuania.
Johnny Mac and I were musing Saturday at what a huge blow to
the NBA this Athens debacle has been. So much for the league’s
advertising effort this coming season. It’s an inferior product to
the international game, after all, unless you like to see a few
spectacular dunks after watching overrated $multi-millionaires
brick 20-foot jumpshots.
J. Mac remarked that reports around the country, via talk radio,
are that Americans are openly rooting against this team. Never
has this happened before in our country. “The Olympics are
supposed to make us feel good…this bunch doesn’t come close
to achieving that.” Thank God we have others like Michael
Phelps.
–It’s a disgrace that thus far the United States is not doing more
to ensure that South Korean Yang Tae-young receive the gold
medal he justly earned in the men’s all-around gymnastics title
that went to Paul Hamm, incorrectly as it turned out.
–Talk about choke jobs. I wasted a lot of time hyping miler
Alan Webb the last few years. And after he won the 1,500 at the
U.S. Olympic Trials, I was kind of bummed because I realized I
was probably going to miss his shot at the gold due to the fact I
was going to be overseas that day. So I was at least lining up the
VCR. Well, I needn’t have been concerned, as Webb ran an
incredibly stupid race in the first heat, failing to qualify further.
It’s going to be a long four years for this fraud.
And then there’s pole-vaulter Stacy Dragila. She too failed to
get past her first round. Unbelievable. What a loser.
–But let’s end on a positive. Count me as a huge fan of
Australian diver Loudy Tourky. Know what I’m sayin’?
Hogweed
So, you’re thinking, why would the editor bring this topic up?
Because hogweed is very dangerous, boys and girls, that’s why.
But thanks to Harry K., none of us should fall victim to this
predator.
From Mary Robson, Area Extension Agent, and Washington
State University:
“Giant hogweed is a huge, dramatic plant that was introduced as
a garden ornamental from Europe.” Hogweed colonizes stream
and river edges and may reach 15 feet in height!
“Giant hogweed is a public health hazard. The toxic sap, clear
and watery, contains a substance that causes painful blisters. The
blisters emerge when skin coated with the sap is exposed to sun.
The combination of sap and sun produces painful burning blisters
that may develop into purplish, blackened scars. It’s illegal to
move the plant within or between states, or to sell the seeds….
Keep children away from this plant and use extreme caution
when handling it.”
Of course you all are probably aware that the giant hogweed
resembles the common cow parsnip, Heracleum lanatium. But
the cow parsnip seldom exceeds 3 to 4 feet tall.
If you choose to dig up a giant hogweed, always wear protective
clothing, and it would probably be a good idea to wear eye
protection. But get this. “Even after the parent plant is
completely removed, the seeds left behind can come up, 7 or 8
years later!”
Kind of makes you want to treat Mother Nature with more
respect, doesn’t it?
Schistosomiasis!!!
Trader George passed along this gross piece from Xinhua News
Agency in China. Dateline: Shanghai, Aug. 19, 2004.
“A single case of acute schistosomiasis was reported in Shanghai
municipality, as the local health bureau issued a precaution to
prevent the outbreak of the epidemic.
“The infected is a male university student who was touring
regions where schistosomiasis epidemic situation is reported. He
had a high fever after returning to Shanghai.
“After medical examination, the patient was confirmed to be
infected by the epidemic, a tropical disease caused by
schistosomes, or worms parasitic in the blood of human beings
and mammals.”
[Hey, maybe this is what Jason Giambi had? And Yankee
pitcher Kevin Brown.]
“The epidemic is characterized by infection and gradual
destruction of the tissues of human kidneys, liver and other
organs.”
I join Trader George in observing….YUCK!
Stuff
–Sad tale. According to the New York Daily News and a study
by the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary
Medicine, 14 search and rescue dogs have died since their
exposure to toxic rubble from the Sept. 11 attacks, including 8
from cancer. But researchers say there is no connection. Some of
the owners beg to differ.
Among the deaths was a 12-year-old Belgian Malinois police
dog, Servus, who had to be carried out on a stretcher from
Ground Zero after he fell into a hole face down, his snout and
lungs filling with concrete dust and ash. He died of pancreatitis.
Another victim was Anna, a 4-year-old German shepherd that
spent three days crawling on her belly trying to find survivors.
She was put down in August 2002 due to an unusual bone-eating
fungal infection.
Of course no one will ever really know where the truth lies. It’s
just important to remember these heroic creatures.
–I know a lot of you are Fox television viewers. I am too, on
occasion. But these guys can be a real bunch of bastards. Case
in point, the reality TV war over two boxing shows that will air
this fall. Back in February, Fox lost out on the rights to a show
titled “Contender,” hosted by Sly Stallone, that would go around
the country and come up with a boxing champ.
Fox, spoiled losers, decided to preempt NBC’s slated November
debut for “Contender” and is rushing out “The Next Great
Champ,” a rip-off hosted by former boxer Oscar de la Hoya, due
to air Sept. 10. NBC is suing. While it’s unlikely they can
prevent Fox’s effort, I wish they could.
–According to the L.A. Times, Disney is ready to jettison
“Monday Night Football” due to the fact it is losing about
$150 million a season on it, after paying the NFL $550 million
a year for the broadcast rights.
–Did you see what happened with the Komodo dragon at the
London Zoo the other day? Talk about a bunch of idiots, the
zookeepers really screwed this one up.
The London Zoo had recently purchased two Komodos, Raja and
Nina, in an effort to boost flagging attendance. The two were
placed in opposite pens until it was thought to be safe to
introduce them to each other for breeding purposes.
Komodos can grow up to 550 pounds, with males exceeding 10
feet in length. Of course you should know from your Komodo
history that the saliva contains more than 50 types of toxic
bacteria and a bite is highly poisonous. Komodos have been
known to eat humans.
But the freakin’ things can also climb, though the London Zoo
only set up a six foot dividing wall between the two. So what
happened? Nina, fully aware of the presence of Raja next door
(there were windows in the enclosure), scaled the wall in no time
and was in Raja’s space. Well, as male Komodos are wont to do
during mating season, Raja began chasing Nina all over the
place.
The keepers reacted fairly quickly and were able to separate the
two but the damage had been done. Upon close examination,
Nina was suffering from internal injuries suffered in her six-foot
fall into Raja’s cage and she died of internal bleeding.
Said David Field, curator at the zoo, “We know that Komodo
dragons can climb, but they can’t jump….Nina’s agility in
getting on to the divide was exceptional.” What an a-hole. Too
bad Nina never had a chance to grow to full weight so she could
devour Field. [London Times]
–Harry K. passed along the following plea of help for National
Hockey League players who will inevitably be locked out,
possibly for the entire coming season.
Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in Canada are going to
be living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And as if
that weren’t bad enough they could be deprived of their life
giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the
upcoming lockout. But you can help!
For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that’s less than
the cost of a large screen projection TV), you can help an NHL
player remain economically viable during his time of need. This
contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers
the annual minimum salary, but it’s a start, and every little bit
will help!
Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a
hockey player it could mean the difference between spending the
lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you,
$700 is nothing more than a month’s rent, half a mortgage
payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey
player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the
player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks,
bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be
mailed to your home.
Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an
unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a
beach somewhere in the Caribbean. [For a signed photo, please
include an additional $150.] Put the photo on your refrigerator to
remind you of other peoples’ suffering.
So won’t you give? Please call our 900 number to ask for the
cost of a specific team – $10 per minute. [Reminder: Jaromir
Jagr has a higher cost: $32,000 per day.]
–Liz S. wrote in that you can get a good vodka (not rot gut),
triple distilled, in Florida for $15-$18, and in her native Texas
the same gallon costs $30. I feel your pain, Liz.
–The Yankees had a 3 hour and 42 minute rain delay on
Saturday. Supposedly, only about 4,000 fans waited the whole
thing out. That’s 4,000 very DRUNK fans, I imagine.
–The other day, the Mets Joe McEwing suffered a broken leg
when Colorado’s J.D. Closser went airborne on a takeout slide as
the Mets were trying to complete a double play. All the Mets
agreed it was a dirty move on Closser’s part. So Mets pitcher
Braden Looper endeared himself forever to his teammates,
especially McEwing, when he promptly drilled Closser in the leg
the first chance he had. None of the Mets tried to hide the
retaliation, including manager Art Howe.
But the play brought back memories of one of the saddest things
I’ve ever witnessed in sports. It was 1978, Wake Forest vs.
North Carolina in baseball. Wake had a superstar shortstop,
Johnny Pacer, who also happened to be a fraternity brother.
Pacer was heading to the big leagues. But that day, as we all sat
in the stands, Johnny was turning a double play when the
Carolina base runner went spikes high right into Pacer’s knee.
Just like that (and knowing that sports medicine was nowhere
near what it is today), every one of us knew the result. As he
was carted off the field, his knee a bloody mess, Johnny Pacer’s
dreams of playing major league baseball were shattered. All
these years later, I hope he’s hanging in there. It still sickens me
to think of him. [And another reason to always piss on Carolina,
as we liked to say down there.]
–Jewish Ballplayers: The Baseball Hall of Fame is holding a
celebration of Jewish major leaguers on Aug. 29-30, if you
happen to be up in the Cooperstown area. The best known are
undoubtedly Hank Greenberg, Sandy Koufax and Shawn Green.
But there have been 143 in total, according to The Center for
Jewish History in New York. Others include Elliott Maddox,
Ron Blomberg, Mike Epstein, Art Shamsky, Ed Kranepool and
Ken Holtzman. Current players include Jason Marquis and Mike
Lieberthal.
–Bud Selig has done a decent job as baseball commissioner, but
he really has screwed up the fate of the Montreal Expos
franchise. Washington and the northern Virginia area have long
been the prime candidates for the team and the Washington Post
has run a good series of editorials on why it should be in
Washington. Of course Baltimore’s Peter Angelos has been
crying foul, afraid of the competition, but as the Post points out,
this season the San Francisco Giants will draw 3.2 million and
across the bay the Oakland A’s will attract about 2 million. And
the Washington – Baltimore corridor contains over a half-million
more. [Of course it helps to put out a good product.]
The biggest reason to move the Expos to the nation’s capital over
northern Virginia is traffic. Plus RFK Stadium is already
available for baseball until a new facility is built. But you can be
sure of one thing; if Angelos ever allows the move, he will hold
up his fellow owners for $10s of millions, the little jerk.
–Speaking of baseball and Washington, Johnny Mac dug up
some not so pretty stats concerning the 1909 Washington
Senators. They finished 42-110, a mere 56 games behind first
place Detroit and 20 games out of 7th (in an 8-team league). Yet
21-year-old Walter Johnson, all things considered, had a more
than respectable season, 13-25 with a 2.21 ERA. Unfortunately
for Johnson, the Senators hit a pathetic .223. The leading power
man was Bob Unglaub, 3 HR and 41 RBI.
Johnson’s mark was far better than teammates Bob Groom and
Dolly Gray, 7-26 and 5-19, respectively. [Poor Gray. He was 15-
51 for his career. Groom was 120-150.]
–I didn’t know this…Butch Patrick’s stepfather was Ken Hunt, a
major leaguer who played with the Yankees, Angels and
Senators from 1959-64, hitting .226 with 33 home runs in over
700 at bats. Patrick, of course, played Eddie Munster.
–You know what would be a cool NLCS for us baseball
traditionalists? Dodgers – Cardinals. Speaking of the Dodgers,
how about the year Adrian Beltre is having? Out of left field for
some of us. [.330, 38 HR 87 RBI]
–Barry Bonds’s on-base percentage is .612 through Sunday.
Folks, if you aren’t a serious baseball fan, understand that
anything over about .330 is pretty solid. He also hit lifetime
home run #693. I’m ready to cry.
–Orioles great Jim Palmer allowed 303 home runs in his career,
but never a grand slam…the longest such streak in history. [Bill
Arnold / Star-Ledger]
–Bad stretch for composers recently. Elmer Bernstein passed
away. Ah yes, “The Magnificent Seven” and the theme adopted
by Marlboro.
–The baseball world is beginning to take note of something I
wrote of weeks ago, that being Ichiro”s assault on George Sisler”s
1920 single season hit record of 257. Ichiro hit .432 in July
and is at .506 for the month of August as his total is now 197.
–Sports Illustrated writer Alan Shipnuck had the following
comment on Vijay Singh:
“What’s astonishing about Singh’s run is that at age 41 he is only
getting better, and hungrier. ‘He has the kind of desire,
discipline and commitment that very few athletes have,’ says
personal trainer Joey Diovisalvi, who works with Singh for an
hour and a half six days a week.”
So I read this and my thoughts immediately turn to Barry Bonds,
another whose greatest seasons have been when most others were
packing it in. Ergo, we shouldn’t be in the least bit surprised to
see Singh win 4 or 5 tournaments a year well into his late 40s.
–Trivia: Don January won the first Champions Tour event, the
Atlantic City Senior Invitational on June 22, 1980.
–NBC golf reporter, and former tour player, Roger Maltbie was
interviewed for PGA Tour Partners magazine.
Q: You’ve always seemed a natural with a microphone. Was it
harder to adjust to TV work than you’ve let on?
Maltbie: Well, no, the technique is very similar to holding a beer
can.
[And with quips like these, Roger Maltbie establishes himself in
the Bar Chat Hall of Fame…to be built at a site yet to be
determined.]
–Hey, guys. Looking to hold a classy bachelor party? How
about Flashdancers in New York City? According to Zagat’s,
“ ‘There’s only one reason to go’ to this ‘pricey’ Midtown strip
club, ‘and it ain’t the drinks;’ it’s those ‘sexy’ flashers who don’t
speak English very well’ but ‘definitely know how to coax the
twenties out of your wallet.’” Twenties? Yikes. Been a long
time since I’ve been out, I guess. Whatever happened to
Schaefer singles?!
–Something tells me I could lose my license over this last one. I
await the decision of the judges…………….
Top 3 songs for the week of 8/20/77: #1 “Best Of My Love”
(The Emotions) #2 “I Just Want To Be Your Everything” (Andy
Gibb) #3 “(Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher And Higher (Rita
Coolidge)
NFL Quiz Answers: 1) Nine with 40,000 passing yards:
1. Dan Marino…61,361
2. John Elway…51,475
3. Warren Moon…49,325
4. Fran Tarkenton…47,003
5. Brett Favre…45,646
6. Dan Fouts…43,040
7. Vinny Testaverde…40,943 [You can win coin on this one,
especially if you aren’t in New York or Texas.]
8. Joe Montana…40,551
9. John Unitas…40,239
10. Dave Krieg…38,147
2) Gale Sayers is the last to score six touchdowns in a game, all
the way back in 1965. Only two others have done this; Dub
Jones, 1951, and Ernie Nevers, 1929.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday. An All-Irish affair.
**Keep the stories coming, but I will be unable to respond to
your e-mails from Tues. – Sun. this week due to travel and not
having my laptop.
