Oakland / Kansas City / Philadelphia A’s Quiz (1901-present):
1) What years did the team play in K.C.? 2) What three were
Rookies of the Year, 1986-88? 3) Who are the only three to have
their uniform retired (all Oakland)? 4) Who was the 1952 A.L.
MVP (a pitcher)? 5) Who is the only 200-game winner in
franchise history? [An oldie but goodie.] 6) Name the two to
drive in 150 or more runs in each of three seasons. Answers
below.
Animal Kingdom Fights Back
Where to start? I mean in just the past few days we’ve seen a
flurry of activity, worldwide. On Monday, another spear
fisherman was killed by a great white shark in the waters off of
Cape Town, South Africa, the second such incident in the past 19
months. Henri Murray attempted to fend off the beast with his
spear gun before the shark “snatched him in its jaws.” Murray’s
partner shot the shark with a spear but to no avail.
According to CNN.com, “Off South Africa it is illegal to spear
fish in scuba gear so divers must hold their breaths for long
periods at a time. The blood and guts that seep from a speared
fish attract sharks.” [No kidding….these guys were idiots.]
But it needs to be noted that Vic Cockcroft of South Africa’s
Center for Dolphin Studies (I’m assuming he ‘minored’ in
sharks) noted “The incidents of shark presence seem to be much
higher around the coasts (than they used to be)…There is
evidence that our waters are warming up because of climate
change, but whether this is making them more productive or not
we don’t know.” [Ah, Vic, ask the dolphins. You’ve got the
connections, after all.]
And then there was this headline on the front page of
Wednesday’s Star-Ledger here in New Jersey.
“Surfer was likely attacked by young great white”
In what is the state’s first attack in 30 years, 17-year-old surfer
Ryan Horton had a big chunk taken out of his leg on Sunday just
25 feet off the coast of Surf City (Long Beach Island).
“I was swimming up and it just felt like somebody hit me in the
foot with a baseball bat. I had no idea what it was,” said Ryan.
The water was murky and Horton couldn’t see what got him.
But his mother e-mailed a photograph of the wound to the world
famous Florida Program for Shark Research (smart mom) and
scientists there confirmed it was a shark attack as Horton’s foot
had three distinct tooth impressions, complete with “classic shark
slice wounds.” The director said it was a great white, but
probably a youth of just six feet.
Well, I just have to remind you of something I wrote in the
4/11/05 edition of Bar Chat.
“Have you seen those swarms of spinner and blacktip sharks off
the Florida coast numbering in the thousands? They have been
known to attack humans (mistaking them for Charlie Tuna) and
they are migrating north, to New Jersey!”
So now we have proof that the spinners and blacktips were
hiding some great whites in their midst. The water here is still
very cold, perfect for these monsters. You won’t see me going
in, that’s for sure.
And then there are the bears. On Tuesday afternoon I received a
report from a long-time friend that two bruins were spotted at his
place, just a mile from my own home. And you laugh when I say
I have to be careful getting the morning paper from the driveway.
I’d hate to be the state’s first victim, ever, of a bear attack after
all I’ve written; though I’m more afraid of being devoured by a
cougar, know what I’m sayin’?
But here’s the worst story of the week.
“Canadian woman killed by grizzly bear”
Isabelle Dube, 36, a competitive mountain biker, was jogging
with two of her friends in Canmore, Alberta, 90 km west of
Calgary, when she was mauled. According to the Ottawa Sun:
“ ‘They came within 20 to 25 meters of the bear when they first
saw it,’ Dave Ealey of Alberta Sustainable Resource
Development said. [Nice job, Dave, by the way.] ‘As they
communicated to each other as to ‘What do we do?’ they started
backing up. Isabelle apparently chose to climb a tree.
“ ‘The other two continued to back up. They backed up out of
the area to a point where they were no longer able to see their
friend and they said they were going to go get some help because
she was basically shouting at the bear because the bear was close
to her.’”
The two girls ran about a kilometer to a golf clubhouse (this
incident occurred in a big resort area) and got help. A Fish and
Wildlife officer responded and found the bear chowing down on
Dube.
“ ‘As he approached, the bear moved off the body,’ Ealey said.
‘(He) shot it. One shot.’”
Ealey didn’t want to speculate on whether Dube made the right
call in climbing the tree. Well I will, sports fans. She didn’t and
thus became the first person killed by a bear in Alberta since
1998.
All of the above is but an excuse to comb through my vast library
and pull out Brad Garfield’s “Bear vs. Man,” Willow Creek
Press, 2001. Mr. Garfield has a chapter titled “How to Survive a
Bear Attack”.
“It’s dark when an ominous shadow approaches your thin-walled
two man tent. You know it’s a bear; you can hear its labored
breathing and inquisitive sniffing. It’s close, too close. The
bear’s claws scratch the rocks as it walks. Each step sends your
emotions skyrocketing, immediately shaking your judgment.
Suddenly, the tent wall shakes as the animal tugs at its supports.
It huffs and then pushes against the nylon wall. You lie
paralyzed in your sleeping bag, unable to move.” [I’d be
thinking, ‘where did I put the beer?’]
“Do you know how to defend yourself against a bear attack? If a
grizzly bear attacks, should you play dead or fight it? What if a
black bear attacks? …Should you react differently to a bear that
bites and claws your sleeping bag while you are in it?….
“The answers to these questions vary with each encounter,
circumstance, and type of bear involved. For instance, a grizzly
will sometimes charge in, swat, bite and then leave. Black bears,
on the other hand, may continue the attack. Even the location of
the encounter can affect the outcome. Trees can offer shelter
from a grizzly but not from a black bear. [Ed. Ha! Tell that to
Ms. Dube.]
“Bears are incredibly strong and lighting quick. Bizarre stories
of grizzly bears killing equally-sized African lions with a single
blow to the neck have been recorded as amazing testaments of
their power. Gary Brown, in his book ‘Great Bear Almanac,’
recounts the story of a man-eating lion pitted against a grizzly
bear. According to the account, it was over before the audience
knew what had happened. The California grizzly handled the
African lion like a house cat would handle a mouse, killing it
almost instantly. Another story recounted by Brown was of an
American black bear that was attacked by a lion during a circus
act. The lion pounced on the back of the bear and a fierce fight
ensued. Both animals were injured, but the lion’s injuries were
so severe that it had to be destroyed while the bear survived.”
[Imagine how traumatized the spectators were.]
“Trying to measure a bear’s strength is difficult. A good but
untestable theory is that a 100-pound black bear is 10 times
stronger than an equally-weighted man. Grizzlies, of course, are
muscled heavier and, in turn, are much stronger than black bears.
I once watched a yearling grizzly effortlessly flip over a huge
rock that I estimated to weigh between two and three hundred
pounds using its young shoulder muscles. It was a remarkable
show of strength at such an early age. With all of this power, it
seems a miracle that a person can survive a bear attack, but
people do live to tell their stories.”
OK…here are some tips.
If attacked by a black bear
–Do not play dead – if a black bear doesn’t stop an attack,
you must fight.
–Do not climb a tree!
–Do not run!
If attacked by a brown / grizzly bear
–Play dead!
–Climb a tree if its branches are not sturdy enough to support the
grizzly or spaced so it can follow [Generally, you won’t have
time to call in a tree expert.]
–Do not run!
–Do not play dead if attack occurs at night!
Bluff Attack
–Ears up
–Veers the direction of the charge, especially at the last minute
–Loping gait…lazy, like Randy Moss
–Pops jaws or huffs
Real Attack
–Ears pinned flat against head
–Charges directly at you
–Runs at full speed
–Makes no sound and stares directly at you
Remember, bears can run up to 35 mph. You probably can’t.
One thing I always forget that Mr. Garfield reminds me of is that
if you see a bear that doesn’t appear threatening, “Keep your
head down and move it side-to-side, catching glimpses of the
bear’s attitude and position.” The bear thus thinks you’re just
bopping to some Marvin Gaye and not necessarily making fun of
him.
And here’s a good one.
“Recent advice of bear experts is to lie flat on the ground, face
down, legs outstretched. Intertwine and lock your fingers behind
your neck with elbows close together to help protect your face
and neck. If the bear hooks its claws into your side and flips you
over, use the momentum of the roll to continue the motion until
face down again.”
Practice this at home.
Uh oh….but then there’s this.
“Predacious bears require stronger reactions on your part. If the
bear does not let up and continues to attack or begins to lick your
wounds, it intends to eat you. Your only chance for survival is to
fight like mad, anyway you can.”
If it pulls out some steak sauce and a linen napkin, that’s also
probably not a real good sign.
Lastly, playing dead in response to an attack by a grizzly is still
just about the best advice. “Do not move or look around until
you are sure the bear has left….It may be sitting quietly close by,
watching for any movement.”
So let’s sum it all up: Two great white attacks and a fatal grizzly
one, plus bears seen near your editor’s home; all in the span of
a few days. What will tomorrow bring? Will your editor live to
write another column? Could he still win a Pultizer,
posthumously?
Next chat, Sept. 1992…Terry Everard….this one is really gross.
Stuff
–Actress Ann Bancroft died of cancer at the age of 73. Despite
being only six years older than co-star Dustin Hoffman, Bancroft
was best known for her role as Mrs. Robinson in “The
Graduate.”
“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me…Aren’t you?”
Bancroft was always upset that folks remembered her for this
part more than for her Oscar-winning performance as Helen
Keller’s teacher in “The Miracle Worker.” And it turns out she
almost didn’t take the part in “The Graduate” because as she
once put it “it was all about sex with a younger man.” But, she
added, “Film critics said I gave a voice to the fear we all have:
that we’ll reach a certain point in our lives, look around and
realize that all the things we said we’d do and become will never
come to be – and that we’re ordinary.” [James Bone / Times of
London]
Dustin Hoffman remarked upon hearing of Bancroft’s death,
“She had that elegance, but she was also street. A stoop kid, a
neighbor who would lean out the window and yell down to you.”
Hoffman also recalled the long relationship between Bancroft
and husband Mel Brooks. During filming for “The Graduate”:
“Mel called her every day. She kept telling me ‘Mel called again
today. He wants to know if I’ve kissed you yet. He’s so
jealous.’ And on Fridays, she’d be saying, ‘Could you hurry up,
could you get it right? I need to get on a plane. I want to see
Mel.’ They were like kids. It is one of the greatest marriages –
nothing showy, nothing fake but you knew they were real
lovebirds.” [Myrna Oliver / Los Angeles Times]
–The New York Times had an article the other day on
entertainer Paul Anka, now 63, who has just come out with a
new album. But what I found interesting is that for composing
the theme to “The Tonight Show,” Anka received $800,000 to
$900,000 a year during Johnny Carson’s run as host. [Thanks to
LT, I was listening to Anka with Howard Stern on Wednesday
and it’s unclear to me if Paul received just 50% of the above
figure.]
I always liked Anka and he has been raking it in, performing
some 150 dates a year in Vegas. Plus, “About 20 times a year
Mr. Anka usually charges between $150,000 and $350,000 to
perform at a corporate event or private party…And a three-night
weekend set at a casino like the Borgata in Atlantic City can
bring in up to half a million dollars.”
–The Wall Street Journal reports that HBO’s ratings are
plummeting. With no more “Sex and the City” and the next
round of “Sopranos” episodes not until March 2006, HBO’s
audience is off 40% for the first six months of ’05 vs. the
comparable period in ’04.
–Anna Kournikova turned 24 on Tuesday.
–Oh, these are good times to be a Mets fan in New York as we
watch our Yankee brethren suffer a nervous breakdown over the
Yanks dreadful play, 28-30 thru Tuesday’s action, while the
Metsies are a solid 31-27. And then you have the comparison
between Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez.
Johnson…5-5, 4.07 ERA…earning $15.5 million
Martinez…7-1, 2.45 ERA, 88 innings, 46 hits, 13 walks, 104
strikeouts…earning $10.8 million.
Never has a player in any sport become the toast of New York as
quickly as Martinez has.
–Jeff B. passed along the results of an analysis of 15,000 patients
around the world that showed people who drank alcohol had
about a 27 percent lower chance of developing non-Hodgkin
Lymphoma than non-drinkers. Dr. Lindsay Morton of the
National Institutes of Health concluded that while drinking
alcohol raises the odds of several cancers, drinkers had a lower
risk of NHL regardless of the amount or type they imbibed.
[MSNBC] But before embarking on a drinking regimen, check
with your doctor and liquor store proprietor first.
Top 3 songs for the week of 6/7/69: #1 “Get Back” (The
Beatles) #2 “Love (Can Make You Happy)” (Mercy) #3
“Grazing In The Grass” (The Friends of Distinction)
Oakland A’s et al Quiz Answers: 1) The Kansas City years were
1955-67…they never finished .500 here. 2) Rookies of the Year:
1986 – Jose Canseco; 1987 – Mark McGwire; 1988 – Walt
Weiss. 3) Only three to have uniform retired: #9 Reggie
Jackson; #27 Catfish Hunter; #34 Rollie Fingers. 4) 1952 A.L.
MVP: Pitcher Bobby Shantz. [Kind of strange…Shantz was 24-
7 but team was only 79-75.] 5) Only 200-game winner: Eddie
Plank, 284-162 (1901-14). The Gettysburg, PA, native was 325-
193 in his Hall of Fame career. 6) Two to drive in 150 three
seasons: Jimmie Foxx – 169 (1932), 163 (’33), 156 (’30); Al
Simmons – 165 (1930), 157 (’29), 151 (’32).
A’s Tidbits:
–Longest hitting streak post-1938 is just 25; Jason Giambi, 1997.
[1972-74, the title years, no one even had a hitting streak of 20.]
–The A’s haven’t had a pitcher lead the league in strikeouts
since Lefty Grove in 1931. [You might be thinking, what about
Vida Blue? Wrong. He struck out 301 in 1971, but that season
Mickey Lolich had 308.]
–Last batting champ was Ferris Fain (1951-52).
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday. Oscar Robertson.
