Appalachian Adventure

Baseball Quiz: The other day I noted the Mets’ Ed Kranepool was the franchise hit leader. Sunday’s New York Times then had a piece on the other franchise leaders after all the publicity Derek Jeter got for breaking the Yankees’ mark held by Lou Gehrig. So, assuming you didn’t see the chart, give me the franchise leaders for the following: Angels, Indians, Athletics, Dodgers, and Marlins. Answer below. 

J-E-T-S…JETS JETS JETS!!!!! 

Yes, your next Super Bowl Champions were on display Sunday. One problem.  Your editor, having arrived home from North Carolina on time and expecting to see the entire second half, got to his car in the Terminal C parking garage at Newark and the battery was dead. Doh! My bad. So by the time AAA arrived to give me a jump, I only caught the last five minutes. Final Score…Jets 24 Houston 7…as rookie QB Mark Sanchez played like a veteran. 

Speaking of Carolina, just a brief report on my trip to see the great quarterback Armanti Edwards of App State.

When I was at Wake Forest, it was easy for students there, and at Duke and at UNC, to ridicule those who attended Appalachian State. It’s what kids do. Those attending the ‘name’ schools like to demean those who go elsewhere. None of us can be proud of this. We’re jerks. Some of us then mature. Others don’t. 

Wake Forest used to play Appalachian State in both football and basketball. In the case of football, check out these scores. 

We’re freakin’ scared of Appalachian State, and for good reason. [I think you’d agree this series was as close as any in the country during that stretch.]  

We have nothing to win, and everything to lose in playing them. So what are we doing this coming Saturday, after a fine comeback win against Stanford, which your editor caught in various drinking and barbecue establishments? Playing Elon! Nothing against Elon. In fact it’s the latest “hot school” in these parts of New Jersey, but, c’mon, Deacs. I had a debate with Phil W. Saturday night concerning all the other schools we could be playing that make sense, like an Indiana, Illinois, Rice, etc. But noooooo. 

Speaking of Phil, his daughter, Ashley, is now a senior at Appalachian State and she’s been a bit spoiled, having seen the Mountaineers win national championships at the I-AA level her freshman and sophomore years (plus the Apps won the year before she arrived, three titles in a row, 2005-07). 

Appalachian has a true star in quarterback Armanti Edwards. Earlier this year, Phil and I went to see Stephen Curry play at Davidson, just having the desire to see a future NBA star on the college/small school level. But Curry severely sprained his ankle about ten days before our game and, while he played, he was a shell of what he normally is. 

Undeterred, Phil and I set about catching Edwards in his final season. It was Armanti, after all, who spearheaded one of the truly great upsets in college football history when Appalachian traveled to Ann Arbor and defeated Michigan, 34-32, just two years ago. [Phil and Ashley were there.] 

So guess what? Armanti was mowing his lawn about four weeks ago, pushing it uphill, when he slipped and caught his foot in the mower. Johnny Mac always told me, “The first rule of lawn mowers is not to stick your foot in them, Editor.” Good point, J. Mac. 

Thankfully, Edwards didn’t lose any toes but his foot was slashed and he missed the first game of the season, a tough loss to East Carolina. Shades of Stephen, it appeared I was flying all the way down to Carolina to see some backup at the helm. Alas, Armanti had recovered enough to play, and star, in a losing effort as the Apps are suddenly 0-2 after falling in a terrific contest, 40-35, to McNeese State. 

Edwards, who didn’t seem rusty after the first series or two, was 19-of-25 passing, 235 yards, and carried the ball 13 times for 72 yards and two TDs. But he didn’t get much support, especially on ‘D’. 

Anyway, let me tell you about the school. I absolutely loved it. Major kudos to Appalachian State. It helps that it’s located in Boone, N.C., which is in the majestic Blue Ridge Mountains. Outside of Boone, for example, is the terrific town of Blowing Rock, where you can easily spend a day sampling all the shops and fine food, while catching some of the best views you’ll find anywhere in America. 

The football stadium, “The Rock,” has just been renovated to seat 21,650 (27,915 were at Saturday’s game as the other 6,000+ crowded the banks surrounding the facility) and it is truly a spectacular venue, every bit as good as Wake’s, which just underwent its own upgrade. The Rock also happens to be at 3,333 feet above sea level. 

The rest of the campus was terrific as well, and I was very impressed with the caliber of kids going to ASU. So my eyes were opened up.  

[Pssst…for you guys like 16 or 17, also know that the girls at App State are very cute. Get your application in now!] 

Back to football, the Mountaineers will come back and make the I-AA (Football Championship Subdivision) playoffs. When asked how he continues to recruit such quality athletes, Coach Jerry Moore said, “Our kids like looking forward to the playoffs, what the other division is missing.” Good one, coach. As for Edwards, he should be NFL bound; if not at QB then at wide receiver. 

Serena…Jerk of the Year Candidate 

Mike Lupica / New York Daily News 

“Serena Williams got exactly what she deserved Saturday night in the semifinals of the U.S. Open, which means she got defaulted out of her match and out of a chance to repeat as Open champion and got shown the door. 

“ ‘I’m just trying to move on,’ she said later in the interview room, in a ridiculous disingenuous performance. 

“She moves on all right, to her next tournament. And to her next major, the Australian Open in January. 

“Williams cursed out a lineswoman all over the place after being called for a foot fault that gave Kim Clijsters two match points against her. Williams used the F-word more than once and came at the woman more than once and clearly forgot that getting called for unsportsmanlike conduct – which this was in lights – got her a point penalty because she had already been called for smashing her racket at the end of the first set. 

“She got the point penalty. On match point. Game, set, match…. 

“This was a shameful performance on the part of a defending champion, especially in these circumstances. And anybody who makes this about the foot fault being called at 15-30 and 5-6, match game, is not just missing match point, they are missing the whole point. Rules are rules, even for the biggest stars. 

“I was watching on television when it happened. I saw what everybody watching on television saw after it happened. Take a look at Williams on the replay. [Ed. I watched all the tapes, including the press conference.] Look at the way she goes at the lineswoman.  Why?  Because the woman wasn’t supposed to be making this kind of call, not against her, Serena Williams. So she keeps going at her. Already what she said and the language she used is on its way to being an instant YouTube classic…. 

[At an earlier time, John McEnroe at the Australian Open in 1990, said “I have no one to blame but myself.”] 

“ ‘What did I say?’ Williams said in the interview room. ‘You didn’t hear?’…. 

“Serena got what she deserved….There have been a lot of exits by Open champions. Never one as bad as this.” 

Bill Dwyre / Los Angeles Times 

“Let’s get right to the point. Serena Williams should be fined heavily and suspended for a while from the pro tennis tour. 

“Let’s see what kind of guts the normally soft-on-discipline sport of tennis has this time. If she were an Oregon football player, she’d be out for the season…. 

“Since the days of John McEnroe and maybe Ilie Nastase, there hasn’t been much of this in tennis. This might have gone well beyond those days in severity. 

“It was on network television, in one of the most-anticipated matches of the entire tournament. Millions watched. 

“It went well beyond the McEnroe tirade stage into body language and direct verbiage that was threatening and ugly. 

“It was an embarrassment to a sport that has made good strides recently in expanding its niche. The U.S. Tennis Assn. loves to talk about its ‘grass-roots’ programs, geared to getting rackets into young players’ hands. Now those young hands have a role model for racket-smashing and bad language. 

“As bad as this incident was, leaving Arthur Ashe Stadium in near stunned silence, worse was Williams’ handling of the aftermath in a press conference. There, she had a chance to apologize, or maybe even fake some remorse. She did neither. 

“Instead, we got the usual, phony, sing-songy deflections and silly answers – all done with a big smile, as if she had just won, 6-0, 6-0. 

Q: Do you think the lineswoman had any reason to feel threatened? Apparently she says she felt threatened. 

Q: I’m just repeating what has been said that she told the chair umpire. 

Serena: Well, I’ve never been in a fight in my whole life, so I don’t know why she would be threatened. 

Q: Do you regret losing your temper both after the first set and after the foot fault? 

Serena: I haven’t really thought about it to have any regrets. I try to – I’ve done – you know, I try to not live my life saying, I wish, I wish. But, you know, I was out there and fought and I tried and I did my best…. 

Bill Dwyre: “The public that watched this ugly farce will be watching closely now. It will see if tennis pretends that this somehow wasn’t as outrageous as it clearly was, and that it didn’t wipe out years of image-building in the sport. 

“If it goes without being addressed, then tennis is just telling us it cares only about our ticket money and us in front of the television set, but not our respect, loyalty or admiration. 

“Best guess? Tennis will pretend this was all a Las Vegas card game and let it ride.” 

Personally, your editor always respected what the Williams sisters have accomplished, especially given from whence they came. Who wouldn’t? 

But Serena can’t begin to understand just how much damage she did to her image. The heck with her. From here on, I’ll be rooting against her. I suspect tens of millions will share the same view. 

[Serena was fined the maximum on-site penalty of $10,000 Sunday, though it seems clear an additional punishment is coming.] 

Meanwhile, Serena’s outburst of course took away from what should have been the big story, the comeback of Kim Clijsters, who was playing in her first Grand Slam tournament since 2007 after coming out of retirement in August following the birth of her baby. It was Clijsters’ second Open title. 

No. 3 USC defeated No. 8 Ohio State, 18-15, in Columbus, as the Buckeyes have now lost six straight against top-five teams, including two national title games. 

No. 5 Oklahoma State fell to Houston, 45-35. This was a crusher. OK State was suddenly thinking national title. Poor T. Boone Pickens, who has pumped $100s of millions into his alma mater but he’s old and that BCS game may once again elude him. 

Rutgers defeated Howard and a bunch of his friends, 45-7. 

As further proof the ACC totally sucks this year, Florida State barely avoided what would have been one of the biggest upsets in football history as it squeaked by Jacksonville State, 19-9, while Maryland had to go to overtime to beat James Madison. And North Carolina needed a bonehead UConn play in the end zone to get a deciding safety in a 12-10 win. Meanwhile, Virginia got their butts kicked by TCU as coach Al Groh probably has just another 48 hours left before he’s forced to clean out his desk. 

Only caught the highlights, but that was an entertaining win for Michigan and Rich Rodriguez in ending Notre Dame’s title hopes, 38-34. [The Daily News’ Mike Lupica said of ND coach Charlie Weis that he’s “too cute by half, and thinks he’s some kind of genius. Which probably explains why he had Notre Dame throwing the ball around instead of burning clock in the last few minutes.”] 

—NFL Bits: Nice game for Adrian Peterson. Rushing for 180 yards certainly takes the pressure off Brett Favre, who didn’t have to do much in the Vikings’ 34-20 win over Cleveland. And what a finish to the Broncos-Bengals contest as Denver wins on a tipped ball that receiver Brandon Stokley grabbed and took in for the decider with seconds on the clock. 

USA TODAY’s Danny Sheridan has the following odds for winning the Super Bowl. 

And as Jeff B. was the first to point out, the Madden curse hit again…Madden’s NFL video game, that is, and players featured on the cover over the years. They tend to go down or have dreadful seasons. 

This year, Pittsburgh’s Troy Polamalu shares the cover with Arizona’s Larry Fitzgerald. Polamalu then immediately sprained his MCL in Thursday’s season opener and is out 3-6 weeks. I haven’t seen an injury report on Fitzgerald yet. 

—Derek Jeter received the national news treatment after tying Lou Gehrig’s Yankee hit mark as NBC’s Brian Williams said Jeter had “achieved the amazing feat…” Oh brother. Why can’t we just say, “A well-deserving Derek Jeter tied Lou Gehrig tonight. Jeter, who has always said his game is about ‘consistency of performance,’ got three hits to tie the Yankee legend. But this is really just the first hit mark for Jeter, who, assuming he stays healthy, is certainly capable of wracking up 3,500 hits or more before he’s finished.” 

—Tiger Woods won his 71st career PGA Tour title at Cog Hill. Tiger is just two behind Nicklaus now, and only 11 back of San Snead’s all-time win total of 82. Oh, and not for nothing but Tiger has won six tournaments in his first year after knee surgery. As Ronald Reagan would have said: “Not bad, not bad at all.” 

—Ichiro did it…became the first in baseball history to have nine consecutive 200-hit seasons. Willie Keeler had eight, going all the way back to 1894-1901. 

—Jim Carroll, poet and author of “The Basketball Diaries,” died on Friday. He was 60.  Carroll also fronted the Jim Carroll Band and their first release, “Catholic Boy,” has been called the last great punk album. 

–We also note the passing of Larry Gelbart, 81, who was responsible for co-writing M*A*S*H (along with Gene Reynolds) and countless other productions over a career that began when he wrote gags for Danny Thomas’ radio show in the 1940s while still a high school student. As the Wall Street Journal’s Stephen Miller wrote, Gelbart got his start because his father was Mr. Thomas’ barber. 

Larry Gelbart also wrote for Bob Hope and Jack Paar, and then got a big break on Broadway as he wrote “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum,” which won him a Tony. Then he got involved with M*A*S*H and its first four of eleven seasons, leaving because he felt he was running dry creatively. Thanks to reruns, though, he earned a fortune. 

–Tennis great Jack Kramer died. He was 88. Kramer was the No. 1 player in the world for much of the late 1940s, winning both Wimbledon and the U.S. Open (then called the U.S. Championship). Quite a number of you, I imagine, also grew up with a Jack Kramer racket. My first one was. 

–Have a kid in high school who is good at soccer? Check out Wake Forest, where the men are ranked No. 2 and the women No. 6. 

Paid for by Keep Wake Soccer At or Near the Top…and your friends at Bar Chat. 

–Ever wonder if you’re a woman or a man? I didn’t think so. Most of us have a pretty good idea what we are…but such is not the case of 18-year-old Caster Semenya, winner of the women’s 800-meter world title last month. While the IAAF said it won’t rule on her gender testing until November, a number of stories came out in the past few days that purported to know the results already and the IAAF didn’t exactly deny them. 

The reports say the tests reveal Semenya has no ovaries, but rather has internal male testes, which are producing copious amounts of testosterone. Semenya would keep her medal because steroids aren’t involved, but the huge question (and this is a biggie) is whether or not she gets to run in the future. The rules are clear cut…she can’t. 

And another big issue involves her handlers, who had to have known her makeup but ran her anyway. 

–Last Monday I said I was invoking my 24-hour rule before commenting on the Shawne Merriman / Tila Tequila case. Too bad others don’t do the same before lighting up the Net and cable. We’ve since learned that the district attorney dismissed Tequila’s accusations that Merriman had choked and assaulted her. 

–For those of you who live in the New York City area and like to eat out in the Big Apple, Bill Clinton had a dinner with Chelsea and the Ling Sisters…Laura (who Bubba freed from North Korea) and Lisa….at Almond on E. 22nd Street. Heck, I may check it out myself, sans the Ling Sisters, of course. [We don’t have a lot in common.] 

“Four Tips to Keep You Alive on a Desert Island” 

Most seaweeds are edible, but avoid any that are blue-green and growing in fresh or stagnant water – they are highly poisonous. 

Fish from the windward side of the island – the fish in a lagoon are often poisonous. 

Coconuts provide both food and water – but be careful not to consume too much. 

–The New York Daily News’ Rush & Molloy report that Britney Spears, in search for a new man, started flipping through the pages of a modeling agency catalogue and came across Bekim Trenova. “Using back channels, Spears’ minions are said to have invited the 24-year-old hunk to ‘audition’ for a music video in L.A. 

“ ‘When he got there, there was no camera crew,’ contends a source. ‘There was just Britney. She was looking sexy. She made it pretty clear that she was less interested in hiring him than in dating him.’” 

Bekim thought the whole deal was weird and found a way to beg off. I just get a kick out of this stuff. 

—Jay-Z garnered rave reviews for his concert this past weekend at Madison Square Garden that benefited the Widows and Orphans Fund for New York City police and firefighters killed in the line of duty. Good for him. 

[At the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday, Kanye West proved yet again what a true jerk he is as he grabbed the microphone from winner Taylor Swift as she was about to accept the award for best female video and said, “Taylor, I’m really happy for you, and I’m gonna let you finish, but, (Beyonce) had one of the best videos of all time.” Swift was hurried offstage without finishing her speech. Later, though, Beyonce, who ended up with video-of-the-year, offered Taylor a second chance to say her piece. So Beyonce came through.] 

Top 3 songs for the week 9/18/76: #1 “Play That Funky Music” (Wild Cherry) #2 “(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty” (KC & The Sunshine Band) #3 “I’d Really Love To See You Tonight” (England Dan & John Ford Coley)…and…#4 “A Fifth Of Beethoven” (Walter Murphy & The Big Apple Band…simply dreadful) #5 “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine” (Lou Rawls…I miss Lou) #6 “Lowdown” (Boz Scaggs…great album) #7 “Devil Woman” (Cliff Richard) #8 “Summer” (War…super tune) #9 “If You Leave Me Now” (Chicago) #10 “You Should Be Dancing” (Bee Gees) 

Baseball Quiz Answer: Franchise hit leaders… 

Angels…Garret Anderson (2,368)
Indians…Nap Lajoie (2,046)
Athletics…Bert Campaneris (1,882)
Dodgers…Zack Wheat (2,804)
Marlins…Luis Castillo (1,273)