NOTE: Folks, due to travel on Sunday, and needing to catch up on some things, I’m scrambling to put this together and will do the Buddy Holly story on Thursday.
Yankees Quiz: Name the seven to have hit at least 280 homers in a Yankees uniform. Answer below.
Go Deacs!!!!
As I’ve chronicled in these pages, it’s been a rough few years for Wake Forest sports. Basketball and football could not blow more for my alma mater, with zero hope for the immediate future (though maybe some beginning with the 2012-2013 school year).
The only joy, aside from a competitive men’s soccer team (and it’s not like we all are watching college soccer with the same intensity as the other two), has been supplied by golfer Bill Haas, who won two PGA Tour events last year.
But I’ve written about alum Webb Simpson and his incredibly consistent play in 2011 and this week he broke through, winning his first PGA Tour event in Greensboro, the Wyndham. Webb now has 7 top 10s in ’11, but perhaps more impressively, 15 top 25s in just 20 tournaments!
Webb is obviously for real and his career is going to be a great one. Like 15+ wins great.
Iowa, part deux
So after I last wrote, I went up to Clear Lake to spend Thursday night, which I’ll get to in more depth next time, drove back down to Des Moines on Friday and wrote that other column I do, and then on Saturday went back to the State Fair for a third time. Once again it was great fun. I doubt I’ll wait another four years to go back. I had my third pork chop on-a-stick, which I’d eat every day if given the chance, it’s that good, plus another Eden Farms’ bacon on-a-stick, awesome, and this time got some vanilla ice cream from the Iowa Dairy Farmers Association booth that was to die for. Plus a bunch of beers…domestic…the economy still sucking wind and thus precluding premium.
It was while drinking beer I was set straight on the corn crop by a man who looked like he knew what was going on, so I asked him. “Give me the low-down.” It seems I was too optimistic last time I brought up the topic in Bar Chat, but was more accurate in that other column on Saturday. Just had to set the record straight. For starters, I didn’t realize there was short-, mid-, and long-term corn, but I’ll save the rest for WIR.
Anyway, back to food on-a-stick, no, I didn’t have a fried nutty bar (though I kind of wish I had) or peanut butter & jelly on-a-stick, which was available for a first time, or hot bologna on-a-stick, or another new entry this year, fried butter on same.
But did you know funnel cake has 760 calories and 44 grams of fat, while a deep-fried Snickers has 444 calories and 29 grams? Or that the popular giant turkey leg has 1,136 calories and 54 grams of fat? Good lord. The turkey leg looked gross compared to my succulent pork chop on-a-stick.
By the way, those wondering about the butter cows, of which I snapped a few pictures and will post somewhere, like the Facebook page I have that I really can’t stand and don’t even look at, might be curious to know they are made out of 600 pounds of Iowa butter smeared onto metal mesh and wooden frames, best popularized by Norma ‘Duffy’ Lyons who died last June at 81. For 45 years she was the master of the butter cow. Her creations, and those of her successor, have to be kept refrigerated at 40 degrees or you have a problem.
-Well, I’ve given you three preseason college football polls…ESPN, USA TODAY Coaches and Sporting News…so here are the remaining two important ones.
1. Oklahoma
2. Alabama
3. Oregon
4. LSU
5. Boise State
6. Florida State
7. Stanford
8. Texas A&M
9. Oklahoma State
10. Nebraska
1. Alabama
2. Oklahoma
3. LSU
4. Stanford
5. Oregon
6. Florida State
7. South Carolina
8. Boise State
9. Nebraska
10. Texas A&M
Among the best games of 2011, SI picks Oregon at Stanford, Nov. 12, No. 1. No. 2 is LSU at Alabama, Nov. 5. I’m assuming that is a Sat. night, so don’t think about bothering me then, unless you’re the girl in the golf cart who was driving around the Iowa State Fair Queen. Just sayin’.
And of course we have SI’s No. 3 game, Sept. 3, LSU vs. Oregon.
But this year, with my nephew matriculating at Pitt, and with my parents both having graduated from there, my closet second team, next to 3-9 Wake, is the Panthers, and depending how the season goes will determine whether I attend a game.
As for the Univ. of Miami and its problems with the salacious allegations of Ponzi scheme architect Nevin Shapiro, nothing has been done as yet, including to the dozen players mentioned in Shapiro’s musings that are on the current squad, but NCAA President Mark Emmert said he is willing to back up his tough talk on punishing rule-breakers by using the “death-penalty” if it’s warranted in this case.
But, thus far that doesn’t look like it will be the case with Miami. Emmert said, “The university is being extremely cooperative and that is extremely helpful.”
One very interested party in the whole Miami investigation, though, is the Pac-12 Conference. You see, former Miami athletics director Paul Dee was chairman of the NCAA’s infractions committee when it hit USC with a two-year postseason ban and loss of 30 scholarships as a result of the Reggie Bush debacle. Dee, in June 2010, criticized the Trojans for being unaware of the shenanigans involving Bush and his family.
“The real issue here is if you have high-profile players, your enforcement staff has to monitor those students at a higher level,” Dee said at the time.
But Dee was Miami’s AD for six of the eight years in question in the Shapiro case!
Pac-12 Commissioner Larry Scott said, “If the allegations prove true, the words ‘irony’ and ‘hypocrisy’ don’t seem to go far enough,” he told the Los Angeles Times.
“Just to review in case you weren’t paying attention: Nebraska is now in the Big Ten, which has 12 teams. The Big 12 has 10 teams. Colorado and Utah are in the Pacific-10, which at least had the decency to rename itself the Pac-12. Brigham Young is an independent.
“Wait, there’s more: Texas A&M wants out of the Big 12 to join the SEC. The SEC says no thanks – for now. The SEC might recruit Florida State, Clemson and Missouri. Or it might not. If the ACC were to lose Florida State or Clemson, it would try to raid the Big East again – because that worked out so well last time.
“(Memo to ACC Commissioner John Swofford: Good work bringing Miami into the conference. If the latest allegations are even half-true, the ‘Canes will make Ohio State and Southern California look like Harvard and Yale. Or Williams and Amherst.)"
And this is too funny. The front page of Saturday’s Des Moines Register has the headline:
“Fry, fans find new trophy just too corny”
“Iowans – and former Hawkeye coach Hayden Fry – became unofficial art design and sports trophy critics Friday when the new Cy-Hawk trophy was unveiled. [Ed. The trophy awarded to the winner of the annual Iowa-Iowa State football game.]
“The trophy features a farm family scene depicting dad, mom and kids around a bucket of corn – and it was likened to a trophy for a spelling bee, a garage sale leftover and a fireplace mantle centerpiece.
“ ‘It’s a nice-looking trophy. And the farmer, family and corn is all wonderful,’ said Fry, pausing, ‘but I don’t really get the relationship to a football game.’
“The reaction of Fry, 82, was gentle compared with what sprouted up across the state and country.
“The winner of the annual football game between Iowa and Iowa State had charged across the field since 1977 to gather the trophy of a stiff-armed football player.
“The new trophy comes with a partnership with the Iowa Corn Growers Association, the Iowa Corn Promotion Board and Learfield Sports.
“ ‘This is literally a work of art representing the people and characteristics that are uniquely Iowan,’ said Craig Floss, chief executive director of Iowa Corn….
“ ‘Gosh, you don’t suppose it’s advertising?’ asked Bob Uetz, an Ames High School teacher who was part of the efforts to renew the football series in 1977 and create a trophy for it.
—Sign of the Apocalypse: Sports Illustrated has a preseason high school top 10. I thought that kind of crap was fully the domain of USA TODAY. At least a New Jersey school, Don Bosco Prep, is No. 1.
–Once again, the New York Yankees’ A.J. Burnett was dreadful in a start Saturday against the Twins, allowing 7 earned runs in 1 2/3, leaving him with a 9-10 record and a hideous 4.96 ERA as New York lost 9-4.
But what made this game different was Burnett actually cussed out his defender, manager Joe Girardi, when Girardi came out to remove A.J.
“See, the thing that aggravates you about A.J. Burnett isn’t just that he’s a relentlessly underachieving mess so much of the time. It isn’t just that he’s stubborn, and bullheaded, and oblivious to coaching and counsel, something he’s proven time and again all across his maddeningly mediocre career.
“There’s the image of manager Joe Girardi walking solemnly to the mound last night, bottom of the second, a sold-out crowd at Target Field booing that trek because in a lost season they would love to see their nine keep taking batting practice against Burnett. There’s Girardi holding out his hand, demanding the ball.
“Any pitcher with any kind of self-awareness would have handed the ball over and sprinted off the mound, eager to put a night’s work of five outs and seven Twins baserunners behind him as quickly as possible. And would have kept his mouth nailed shut.
“This is what A.J. Burnett had to say, as captured by the YES Network’s cameras:
“Only, you know, without the euphemisms. Showing up your manager is a foolish idea, especially on a night when Burnett otherwise didn’t show up at all, especially in a time when the manager is one of the only people on Earth who still proffer belief in your belonging….
“In an era when there should be precious little angst attached to being a fan of the team with the second-best record in the sport, every fifth day Burnett turns the act of rooting for the Yankees into a session on a shrink’s coach. He is baffling, bewildering, and now also belligerent, on a night when he couldn’t have dug his team a deeper hole if he’d had a back hoe and a jackhammer.
“General Manager Brian Cashman may be on to something. The only way you can bear to watch Burnett pitch anymore is by taking a couple of hits from the objective pipe. Plus a couple of swigs from an objective bottle of Stoli.”
–We interrupt the above fiasco for a word from Emmanuelle Chriqui, star of ‘Entourage,’ as reported by the New York Post.
“My ripped jean-shorts. They’re really worn in – the pocket linings hang out the bottoms, and I love that I can wear them with my flip-flops or a silky blouse and high heels.”
“Oh yeah. Long black leather trench coats – it’s so sexy when you can belt it and then take it off and have something all nice underneath.”
“I love a good scarf. I love it when a man can wear, like, a T-shirt, jeans and a blazer and just throw on, haphazardly, a scarf. I just think it’s so sexy.”
[Your editor is rummaging through his closet…I’m assuming Emmanuelle likes North Dakota Fighting Siouxwear, a collector’s item to boot.]
–My word…according to the Post, Kim Kardashian’s wedding to Kris Humphries this weekend cost $10 million, but the enterprising buxom one raked in at least $17.9 million!
Like $15 million plus profit for a four-hour, two-part wedding special on E! Just for starters.
And among the things the two got for free was $15,000 to $20,000 for a Hansen’s Bakery wedding cake! I mean Entenmann’s would have cost like $12.95.
“The Cleveland Indians were in Boston this month when Jack Hannahan, a reserve infielder, learned that his wife, Jenny, had gone into labor. She had been on bed rest since the 24th week of her pregnancy, and this was Week 28.
“Hannahan, of course, wanted to fly to Cleveland as soon as he could. But there were no flights home until the next morning, and renting a private plane would cost $35,000. For Hannahan, who is making $500,000, it was simply too expensive.
“Pitchers Justin Masterson and Chad Durbin talked it over with some teammates and made Hannahan’s decision for him. They approached Hannahan in the Fenway Park clubhouse, Masterson said, and told him: ‘Book it, man. You’re taking it.’ The pitchers quickly raised the $35,000.
“ ‘Every single guy was willing to give something to help out, even the new guys,’ Masterson said. ‘We’re a young team, but guys just get it.’
“Hannahan took the private plane, reached the hospital, and 15 minutes later the baby’s heart rate dropped. Doctors performed an emergency C-section and delivered John Joseph Hannahan V, who weighed 2 pounds 12 ounces. Hannahan said there are good days and bad days now, but his son is doing well.
“ ‘Words can’t describe it, just the whole thing behind it,’ he said. ‘I’ll always remember being able to see my son born, but at the same time, knowing how I got there is something I’ll always remember. I think it tells you a lot about this team and the character of these guys.’”
–Of all the people to be the first baseball player to test positive for HGH, former Met Mike Jacobs is about the last one you’d suspect but he has confessed and apologized for taking it to recover from an injury and now he’ll be suspended for 50 games, plus he was released by the Rockies. Jacobs was in Colorado’s farm system at the time.
–So now it’s been discovered by the Elias Sports Bureau folks that Craig Counsell actually tied Bill Bergen’s record 0-for-45 hitting streak for a position player. For years, it seems, it was commonly accepted that Bergen was 0-for-46, but Elias did a definitive check.
–Nice show by the Chinese the other day, as the Bayi Rockets, a team whose members are drawn from the People’s Liberation Army, squared off against the Georgetown Hoyas in hoops in more ways than one, causing an embarrassing brawl that the government was none too happy about.
The fact some team members later went to the airport to apologize to Georgetown tells you everything. The offending players should be put in reeducation camps for the rest of their lives. Georgetown’s coach, John Thompson III, was over the top diplomatic after pulling his team with nine minutes to go.
“Tonight, two great teams played a very competitive game that unfortunately ended after heated exchanges with both teams.”
—New Meadowlands Stadium will be renamed MetLife Stadium shortly; the insurance company paying a reported $17 to $20 million annually for the rights, which would equal what Citigroup pays to have its name on Citi Field.
–The Arizona Cardinals and superstar receiver Larry Fitzgerald reached agreement on an 8-year, $120 million deal, $50 million of which is guaranteed.
–Uh oh…from Veronica Rocha of the Los Angeles Times:
“Several recent mountain lion sightings in the Burbank area are raising safety concerns among some hillside residents who say the animals pose a threat to pets and small children.”
“Burbank police have logged at least four mountain lion sightings this summer, including two this month. Another resident reported seeing a lion about 9 p.m. Monday in Glendale….
“ ‘It’s not uncommon to see them in the foothills and we know that they are there,’ said Ricky Whitman of Pasadena’s Humane Society.
“Still, Whitman said residents often mistake coyotes and bobcats for mountain lions because they are similar in shape and size.”
Burbank residents reported seeing what they thought was a mountain lion feeding on a dead deer early Sunday….wildlife experts confirmed that a coyote had killed the deer.
“It started last month when workers at a Paso Robles wastewater treatment plant noticed what appeared to be a giant rodent roaming the facility.
“The creature eventually swam toward the Salinas River and disappeared from sight, but not before worker Nick Kamp [Ed. no relation to Van de Kamp] had taken a few photos.”
What was it upon further review? A freakin’ Capybara, for crying out loud! I mean they can grow to 100 to 120 pounds!!! The monsters are only supposed to be native to South America!
I mean to tell ya, the capybara is the world’s largest rodent. Someone must have had it as a pet and either the animal was released or escaped.
Authorities say the capybara isn’t dangerous, “just weird-looking.”
I don’t even want to fly into California, at this point. If I was still working for PIMCO, I’d tell headquarters in Newport Beach, “You want me for a meeting, get rid of Cappy Dick first.”
–Finally, on the wildlife front, comes this highly disturbing story from Michael Schwirtz of the New York Times:
“When a young man lost both his arms this week in the waters off Russia’s east coast, officials and residents initially had trouble believing what had happened. But a day later, when a teenager’s legs were ripped up in the same waters, all doubt vanished.
“In a region more accustomed to threats from bears, the culprit appears to be a man-eating shark – possibly more than one.
“The authorities have temporarily banned swimming at several beaches in the area…along the Sea of Japan. It was unclear what type of shark attacked in either case, though witnesses and some scientists were leaning toward a great white….
“The first victim, a 25-year-old computer programmer, had been out for an evening swim with his wife on Wednesday at a popular vacation spot near Russia’s border with North Korea.”
What popular vacation spot near North Korea?! As Dick Vitale said when asked about this, “Are you kidding me?! There are no popular vacation spots near North Korea!”
“The two, Denis and Polina Udovenko, were aiming for a small rock formation known locally as Yearning Heart Island.
“ ‘It was only about 300 feet,’ Ms. Udovenko said. ‘About halfway there, Denis noticed something in the water and screamed, ‘Swim faster, it’s a shark.’
“ ‘He beat it on the nose, and it heaved him up and then down,’ she said. ‘Then the shark threw him to the surface.’”
Nice effort by the shark, it would appear to be. Denis and Polina were hauled in by boaters. Mr. Udovenko survived after losing both arms below the elbow.
“The second victim, Valery Sidorovich, 16, was attacked about 30 miles away on Thursday. Video images of his rescue that were broadcast on Russian television showed him being taken from a boat on a stretcher, his legs swaddled in bloody bandages.”
“Some scientists said (these) were probably the first (shark attacks) in Russian waters in recent history.”
Yes, it’s late August, but the long-hoped for summer offensive has begun and as we all know such stories are great for ratings, this being Web Sweeps Month, after all.
–So I’m reading the local paper in Mason City, Iowa, and it says “The Iowa Alcoholic Beverages Division transferred a record $107 million to state and local authorities during the 12-month period that ended June 30. Talkin’ taxes, sports fans.
And what did Iowans drink? The 10 top-selling liquor brands through June 30:
1. Black Velvet
2. Captain Morgan’s
3. Hawkeye Vodka
4. Five O’Clock Vodka
5. Smirnoff Vodka
6. Barton Vodka
7. Phillips Vodka…hmmm, I’m discerning a trend
8. Jack Daniel’s Black Label
9. Bacardi Light Rum
10. McCormick Vodka
–Speaking of alcohol, fellow Wake alum Phil W., knowing that I normally don’t turn down a domestic, let alone a premium, pointed me to a Daily Beast column that detailed America’s “Drunkest Cities.”
1. Milwaukee…average drinks per person per month, 12.76. [Yikes, I, err, err, can’t really say…wouldn’t be prudent.]
2. Fargo…12.48…makes sense. Nothing to do there but watch… “Fargo”!
3. San Francisco… All across the nation…such a strange vibration…people drinking…all kinds of vi-nooo….
4. Austin
5. Reno
6. Burlington, VT…you know, never been here. Gotta go…even though the Univ. of Vt. crowd is more than a bit funky.
7. Omaha…Marlin Perkins was a heavy drinker…bet you didn’t know that…
8. Boston…makes sense
9. Anchorage…thought this would be first
10. San Diego…surprised by this one…though ya gotta think Navy and, err, imbibing…
But New Orleans was only No. 25?! C’mon, when I’ve been there I thought I alone assured a top five ranking!!!
–This just in…is it me or is Barack Obama graying far faster than I ever did?!
“About 2,000 species examined are moving away from the equator at an average rate of more than 15 feet per day, about a mile per year, according to new research published Thursday in the journal Science that analyzed previous studies.
“Species are also moving up mountains to escape the heat, but more slowly, averaging about 4 feet a year.”
Frankly, if it’s only 4 feet a year, I’m not going to worry about it.
–Here’s a good one from the Iowa State Fair. The entertainment in the main grandstand the final two nights, Saturday and Sunday, was Reba McEntire and Janet Jackson. [Last Sunday night was to have been Sugarland, the night after they were to play at the Indiana State Fair, so needless to say they canceled on Iowa.]
I saw a report that Jackson’s fee is $400,000. The grandstand holds 10,000 so for the first time officials set a ticket price of $50.
State fairs always have issues with cancellations, though, and the fellow now in charge in Iowa made note the other day that back in 1989, Ricky Van Shelton (a hot act at the time) couldn’t make it, “so the fair manager booked a no-name singer who showed up driving his own tour bus. Something about the performance persuaded the manager to book him again for the following year, just a few months before he hit the big time. The singer’s name was Garth Brooks.”
–Sales of vinyl records have been exploding worldwide, albeit from a low base; 4 million this year is the forecast, vs. less than one million in 2005. Why? Perhaps, as one told The Economist, because “it is cooler than a download.”
Top 3 songs for the week of 8/23/80: #1 “Magic” (Olivia Newton-John…eh) #2 “Sailing” (Christopher Cross…would be #1 the following week…we all swooned because it was different, but in hindsight it was very ordinary and his career ended up sucking the wind desired for the very topic of his major hit) #3 “Take Your Time (Do It Right)” (The S.O.S. Band…liked this one)…and…#4 “Emotional Rescue” (The Rolling Stones…like I said the other day, never got into the Stones, post-1969) #5 “Upside Down” (Diana Ross…talk about blowdom) #6 “It’s Still Rock And Roll To Me” (Billy Joel…mailed it in, and he knows it) #7 “Fame” (Irene Cara…even she is embarrassed by this one, but amazingly enough people liked it, thereby proving the world is full of Know Nothings) #8 “All Out Of Love” (Air Supply…if you actually paid to see these guys, please go straight to Baltic Avenue and try getting financing for a string of hotels there these days…impossible) #9 “Let My Love Open The Door” (Pete Townshend…blanking on this one…2007 Mets Flashback) #10 “More Love” (Kim Carnes…voice irritated me)
Yankees Quiz Answer: Seven to hit 280 homers in a Yanks uniform…
Babe Ruth 659
Mickey Mantle 536
Lou Gehrig 493
Joe DiMaggio 361
Yogi Berra 358
Bernie Williams 287
A-Rod 281
Next Bar Chat, Thursday…everything but the kitchen sink.
