Pittsburgh Steelers Quiz: Terry Bradshaw is the career leader in passing yards with 27,989, while Ben Roethlisberger is second with 26,358. Who are numbers 3-5 on the list, all having quarterbacked since 1970? Answer below.
J-E-T-S…suck suck suck
What an awful, disgusting, despicable performance by my Jets on Christmas Eve against the Giants, both needing a win to stay alive in the playoff hunt (technically the Jets still are, but it is the longest of long shots). Once again, in a season full of ‘no-shows’ by both New York teams, the Jets inexplicably laid an egg, losing 29-14 despite numerous opportunities in the fourth quarter. The Giants, sloughing off a 9 of 27 passing performance from Eli Manning, got the big plays when they needed them; like Victor Cruz’s 99-yard touchdown reception on a 3rd and 10 from the one-yard line, where two Jets missed the tackle and then Cruz hurdled safety Eric Smith (he of the atrocious play throughout 2011) as Victor flew down the sideline. The Giants also sacked quarterback Mark Sanchez five times as Sanchez, who has regressed the whole season, in this his 3rd year, didn’t understand when to freakin’ get rid of the ball before he got creamed!!!
And then there’s our coach, Rex Ryan. I have to admit. I’ve been loath to criticize the guy because he lives in my town and I respect that he sends his kids to public school, the same high school I went to, when he obviously has other choices. I also just like the guy, and was willing to put up with his big mouth because at the end of the day, in his first two seasons we got to the AFC Championship game. At least that was more than most football fans can say about their own teams.
But there are times when Rex just needs to shut up and he didn’t understand there was zero reason to diss the Giants like he did before the game, especially when they have a class coach in Tom Coughlin, who doesn’t play those mind games.
The Daily News’ Gary Myers describes the scene on the field following the end of the contest.
“Brandon Jacobs had a lot of bitterness built up after a week of Rex Ryan disrespecting the Giants, and when Big Blue took back control of New York after loaning it to the Jets for two years, he didn’t attempt to hide his rage and engaged in some vicious name-calling.
“The Giants had enough of Ryan’s incessant trash talking last week and were incensed when the Jets, as is their custom for all home games, put a curtain up to hide the Giants’ four Super Bowl logos and three Vince Lombardi Trophies painted on the wall outside their locker room. The Jets players pass that wall on their way to their locker room from the parking lot and management doesn’t feel they should have to see it.
“Shortly after the Giants’ 29-14 victory…Jacobs and Ryan came face-to-face around the 50-yard line and about 10 yards from the Jets sideline.
“Their mouths were only inches apart and their left shoulders were touching.
“ ‘We had a private conversation,’ Ryan said. ‘That’s all I’ll leave it as. He doesn’t like me. I respect him, but I couldn’t care less about him.’
[Ed. Jacobs himself is one of the true jerks in the game.]
“Jacobs provided quite a bit more details about the confrontation.
“ ‘He told me, ‘Shut the f— up, wait until we win the Super Bowl,’’ Jacobs said. ‘I told him I would punch him in the face. I told him that out of all these Giants on this football team, you’re talking to the wrong one.’
“At some point, Jacobs reportedly said to Ryan, ‘Time to shut up, fat boy.’
“Ryan, who was fined $75,000 earlier this season for cursing out a fan at halftime of a Jets home game against the Patriots, needs to learn to walk away from these situations….
“It was not clear how this all got started but we know how it ended. Jacobs was fuming. He told ESPN on the field after his chat with Ryan that Ryan was a ‘disrespectful bastard’ and a ‘big-mouthed and big-bellied coach.’ When Jacobs came into the interview room next to the Giants’ locker room about 30 minutes after the game, it didn’t take much to get him started.”
Meanwhile, Mark Sanchez went back to pass 64 times, threw 59 passes, completing only 30, with two interceptions, and was sacked the other five times. [Plus he fumbled at the goal line.]
“We’re really not built to play that way,” said Rex Ryan afterwards. So why did you?! Geezuz.
And some of us are tired of having our coach constantly defend both Sanchez and offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer. They both have sucked this year.
I also thought the New York Post’s George Willis had a good point. It’s time for the owner, Woody Johnson, to “invoke executive power and force Rex Ryan to thoroughly address Mark Sanchez’s development as a quarterback.
“It might mean forcing Ryan to fire…Schottenheimer. It might mean getting rid of quarterbacks coach Matt Cavanaugh. It might mean giving offensive consultant Tom Moore more responsibility. It might mean bringing in a more credible backup than Mark Brunell.
“Whatever the solution is, it won’t come unless there is a sincere evaluation of why Sanchez has underachieved in his third season as the Jets starter….
So now the Jets play the Dolphins down in Miami at 1:00, needing not only to show up and beat a spunky Flipper-led squad, but the Texans have to beat the Titans, also at 1:00, and then as the Jets are flying home, they have to rely on the Ravens beating the Bengals and the Chargers defeating or tying the Raiders, both of those 4:15 affairs.
Note: Victor Cruz set the Giants’ single-season mark for receiving yards…1,358 on 76 receptions, thus surpassing Amani Toomer’s record of 1,343 yards set in 2002. But Cruz was dissed when it came to the Pro Bowl selections.
NFL Review
–What a year for quarterbacks. Drew Brees is now the all-time single-season leader in passing yards, 5,087, after besting Dan Marino’s 1984 mark of 5,084 on Monday night. Tom Brady is just 188 yards from beating Marino as well. And Aaron Rodgers threw five touchdown passes against the Bears, the first time he’s ever done that. So you have these three putting up remarkable seasons.
Rodgers…45 TD 6 INT
Brees…41-13
Brady…36-11
Brees, by the way, in tossing 4 touchdown passes on Monday night in the Saints’ 45-16 victory over the Falcons, moved into ninth all time with 276 for his career, ahead of Joe Montana (273) and Vinny Testaverde (275). He is also the first QB in NFL history to pass for more than 5,000 yards twice; he had 5,069 in 2008.
And Brees has now thrown a touchdown pass in 42 consecutive games, now just five back of Johnny Unitas’ record 47.
But will Brees finish the year as the career leader, or will Tom Brady, 190 yards behind Brees entering the final weekend? If San Francisco wins its 1:00 ET start against St. Louis, the Niners get the first-round bye, not the Saints, also playing at 1:00 (against Carolina). So if San Fran had a big halftime lead against the hapless Rams, Saints coach Sean Payton could hold Brees out in the second half of their own game.
Meanwhile, Brady’s Pats need to beat Buffalo to ensure they have the top seed in the AFC so he could throw up some big numbers.
[Quarterbacks selected ahead of Tom Brady in the 2000 draft…Chad Pennington, Giovanni Carmazzi, Chris Redman, Tee Martin, Marc Bulger and Spergon Wynn…really, you can look it up.]
–Another two quarterbacks made their marks this season…rookies Cam Newton and Andy Dalton. They became the 4th and 5h rookie QBs to throw 20 TD passes, the others being Peyton Manning (26), Charlie Conerly (22) and Dan Marino (20). Newton and Dalton also have 3,000 yards (Dalton 3,166; Newton 3,893), so they join Manning as the only three rookies to have both 20 TDs and 3,000 yards. Plus, Newton eclipsed Manning’s rookie mark of 3,739 yards.
–For those of us who want to watch playoff games in traditional winter weather, at least Green Bay has potentially two home games in the frozen tundra. New England also gets a home game or two. But other than these sites, we have to hope Baltimore or Pittsburgh host a contest, as well as the Giants.
–Unbelievable that a team that was 8-6 heading into last Saturday’s key contest at home, Cincinnati, could only draw 41,273 fans in a 65,500-seat capacity stadium. Granted, it was Christmas Eve, but the weather was great. So the Bengals, now 9-6 after knocking off the Cardinals, are pleading with their fans to show up next Sunday as they host Baltimore, needing a win to wrap up a playoff spot. And I just saw they adopted a buy-one, get-one-free offer for the finale.
–Colts owner Jim Irsay told the NFL Network that he could not foresee a scenario in which Peyton Manning would play anywhere but Indianapolis next season, assuming he’s healthy. But that’s a big ‘if,’ though at least Manning is throwing a little these days.
However, with the Colts suddenly riding a two-game winning streak, which is incredibly stupid, they are risking the number one pick, and Andrew Luck (or RG3).
So now they are tied with St. Louis entering the final weekend at 2-13. St. Louis hosts San Francisco, while the Colts go down to Jacksonville and that pitiful excuse of a franchise. As in the Colts could end up with the number two pick. [Minnesota, like true idiots of their own, defeated the Raiders to go 3-12, though they seem set on offensive tackle Matt Kalil of USC to protect Christian Ponder.]
The thing is, St. Louis already has Sam Bradford, who has had an injury plagued season but he’s nonetheless a franchise quarterback (as much as any first- or second-year guy is), and they want Oklahoma State receiver Justin Blackmon. So Indy, regardless of what happens next weekend, should still have the opportunity to go for Luck, or that other guy, who no one seems to respect even though he had one of the great college football seasons of all time, graduated in three years, won the Heisman, was an Army brat (huge plus in terms of developing his character), and could draw fans as much, if not more than, Luck will.
Then again, if St. Louis has the No. 1 and trades it away, which would be likely…
–Can Tim Tebow get it back together? During his run, 7-1 as a starter, he threw 11 TD passes with only two interceptions, but he was picked off four times in Saturday’s awful loss to Buffalo. [I’m not getting into the Bill Maher tweet, slamming Tebow. Let’s just say Maher can be a true jerk.]
–Minnesota superstar Adrian Peterson tore his ACL and MCL against the Redskins, but the Vikings say they believe he will be ready for the start of next season. Prior to this year, Peterson signed a 7-year, $100 million contract extension, with $36 million guaranteed.
–Congratulations to the Detroit Lions for their first playoff appearance since 1999. As recently as 2008, they were 0-16. QB Matthew Stafford should have made the Pro Bowl over Eli Manning.
–San Francisco’s David Akers set the NFL record for most field goals in a single season, 42, after kicking four in a 19-17 win over Seattle. Neil Rackers had the previous record with 40 when he was with the Arizona Cardinals in 2005. Akers is 7-9 from 50+ this season and 30-31 under 40.
[One side note about the 49ers. Last Saturday, Seattle’s Marshawn Lynch became the first back to run for 100 yards against San Francisco since 2009. The Niners also gave up their first rushing touchdown of the season, rather remarkable.]
–Tight ends Rob Gronkowski (Patriots) and Jimmy Graham (Saints) are 72 and 78 yards, respectively, from surpassing Kellen Winslow’s 1980 record of 1,290 yards receiving at the position.
–Christmas marked the 40th anniversary of “The Longest Game Ever,” the contest between the Miami Dolphins and Kansas City Chiefs, a four-hour, 55-minute divisional playoff game that didn’t end until Garo Yepremian kicked a 37-yard field goal seven minutes into the second overtime for a 27-24 Miami win.
But the game is best known among purists for the heroic performance of Chiefs running back Ed Podolak, who had 17 carries for 85 yards, caught 8 passes for 110 yards, and had 3 kick returns for another 154. Quite an afternoon in defeat.
–There are six teams in the NFL that don’t have cheerleaders, as noted by the Wall Street Journal’s Jared Diamond; the Bears, Browns, Giants, Lions, Packers and Steelers. Those franchises have won four of the last six Super Bowls. I’m going to give the Jets’ Flight Crew just one more year before recommending they be jettisoned. Believe me, this would be as hard on moi as it is you, guys, but I want one more Super Bowl title before I die.
–New York Post sports critic Phil Mushnick has written some good stuff on the “Monday Night Football” crew, both TV and radio. “On Westwood One Radio, play-by-player Kevin Harlan screams at anything and everything; screams as if he’s being dragged to the electric chair. It’s worse than bad; it’s insulting. For a football fan to be caught in a car on a Monday night is to consider which airbag on the dashboard to engage.” I’ve been there…considered that…
“On ESPN, the smothering presence of analyst Jon Gruden, this year signed to a long-term deal to persist, has made ‘MNF’ a cruel endurance test. His specialty, from the start, has been to talk non-stop, much of it pure, obvious and unrepentant nonsense.”
Awhile back I cited a player poll from Sports Illustrated that had them tabbing Gruden as their favorite, which I just don’t understand. I watched a good deal of the Packers-Bears game the other night and listening to Gruden almost had me reaching for the luger. [OK, I don’t have a luger, but if I did….] And it’s not like you can turn off the TV and listen to the radio.
But what’s this? After signing a five-year extension with ESPN for MNF, Gruden wants to return to coaching? That’s the word out of San Diego, who posit that Gruden and San Diego’s GM would head to St. Louis, which would be a nice gig given the aforementioned possibility they get the first pick in the draft. [Gruden may not want Sam Bradford and could go with Luck or Griffin instead.]
College Football
–The big news the last few days concerns a certain quarterback who announced he is returning for his senior year, USC’s Matt Barkley, who instantly becomes the favorite for the Heisman Trophy, while USC should top many preseason 2012 polls. With this decision, Barkley owns Los Angeles.
USC finished a strong 10-2, fifth in the AP poll, but was ineligible for a bowl game due to NCAA sanctions. But they’ll be eligible next year, though they will still be 10 scholarship players short due to the past infractions (a result of the Reggie Bush saga).
Picture Barkley, though, as he announced he was returning because the team had “unfinished business.” You’ve gotta love that. He was a surefire high first-round NFL selection this spring had he opted out as just about everyone expected him to do. Heck, the guy had 39 touchdown passes with only 7 interceptions.
[Importantly, USC will host Oregon next year, as well as Notre Dame, and its only out-of-conference road trip is a neutral-site game against Syracuse at the Meadowlands in New Jersey. Huh, might be worth checking out.]
“Deck the halls with boughs of Barkley. Three days before Christmas, the USC football program was stunned Thursday to discover three shiny, previously unobtainable objects under its tree.
“Turning down buckets of NFL money to embrace a community of Trojans hearts, quarterback Barkley announced Thursday he was returning to school for a final college season that his presence could turn into one of the most memorable in school history.
“At the end of a heartfelt speech whose final stirring paragraphs might one day be etched in granite, Barkley said that after leading the Trojans through their darkest probation moments, he couldn’t resist the chance to carry them to what could be their finest hour.”
Consider, again, that Barkley gave up $20 million or so in guaranteed money. In his speech announcing his decision, Matty Trojan, as Coach Lane Kiffin is calling him, said:
“I am prepared to play quarterback in the NFL, it is my dream to play quarterback in the NFL, and I intend to make that dream a reality. But I also know that I came to USC to compete and have a rare journey as a USC football player, earn a degree from this exceptional university and forge lifelong bonds with the Trojan family,”
The guy is perfect, or as Plaschke noted, Barkley’s speech echoed shades of Tim Tebow when he was at Florida.
So good for Matty T. It’s great for the sport and this is one guy who’ll be pulling for him and the Trojans (while still wearing Duckwear, mind you).
—Missouri won its final game as a member of the Big 12 in routing North Carolina, 41-24, in the Independence Bowl (Shreveport, La.), where it appeared there were about 1,600 fans in attendance. Talk about embarrassing. Mizzou now moves onto the SEC next fall, and with a promising quarterback, James Franklin, who looked great on Monday night and will just be a junior.
–For the archives I just have to note something I forgot to do last time, an update on Yale’s football coach, Tom Williams, who claimed he didn’t lie on his resume about being a candidate for a Rhodes scholarship while a student at Stanford. Yale conducted an investigation and concluded he had indeed lied and Williams was forced to resign last week. The New York Times ratted him out after it contacted the Rhodes Trust, where officials said they had no record of Williams applying for the fellowship upon graduation from Stanford. Williams claimed he was encouraged to apply for the scholarship but acknowledged he never did.
Williams also had on his biography for the Yale football website that he played for the San Francisco 49ers’ practice squad in 1993, but it turns out he never signed a contract with that team.
Williams was 16-14 at Yale, but 0-3 against archrival Harvard.
—Paul Chryst, Wisconsin’s offensive coordinator the past seven seasons, is taking the helm at Pitt as the Panthers replace Todd Graham, the a-hole who left after one year to go to Arizona State.
College Basketball
1. Syracuse
2. Ohio State
3. Kentucky
4. Louisville
5. North Carolina
6. Baylor
7. Duke
8. Missouri
9. UConn
10. Florida
20. Murray State
24. Harvard
25. San Diego State…ding ding ding!
–I picked a Final Four of UNC, Vanderbilt, Baylor and Syracuse, so after the first two months, three of the four look solid, but Vanderbilt? Among their four losses are bad ones to Cleveland State and Indiana State. I wasn’t the only one thinking they were Final Four material. They have a virtual must-win contest against No. 14 Marquette on Thursday or their out-of-conference resume will look dreadful come tourney selection time.
–In one of the bigger upsets in the sport in recent memory, Wagner (Staten Island, N.Y.) defeated No. 15 Pitt, 59-54, in Pittsburgh. It was the school’s first win over a ranked opponent since 1978, with Pitt committing 18 turnovers while losing to a Northeastern Conference opponent for the first time ever. Like try 70-0 before Friday night’s stunner. [Pitt then lost at Notre Dame on Tuesday.]
Wagner, by the way, is coached by Danny Hurley, who has his brother Bobby as an assistant on the bench with him. Cool stuff.
–I watched the second half of the Knicks-Celtics contest on Christmas Day and it was indeed entertaining as the Knicks pulled out a 106-104 victory. What will be fascinating is to see how some of the teams hold up with the 66-game schedule crammed into 120 or so days. You better have a deep bench, but so few teams do. When you watch an NBA game, there really aren’t a lot of good players, know what I’m sayin’? [Same with baseball and pitching. Too many teams dilute the product.]
–Very funny…as the “Boycott Kim” movement gains momentum, Kim Kardashian’s ex-, Kris Humphries, has become a bigger villain than LeBron James. According to Forbes, Humphries is at the top of the NBA’s biggest villains list. In a survey done by Nielsen and E-Poll Market Research, players had to have a minimum 10% awareness level from the public to have been considered in the vote.
So it’s Humphries, followed by LeBron, Kobe, Tony Parker, Metta World Peace (Ron Artest), Chris Bosh, Carmelo Anthony, Paul Pierce, Dwyane Wade and Lamar Odom.
So the other night during a Nets-Knicks exhibition game at Madison Square Garden, the crowd let Humphries have it, booing his entrance, every time he touched the ball, and then mockingly chanting for him late in the game.
But, in the season opener against Washington, Humphries came through in a big way, 21 points, 16 rebounds, as the Nets overcame a 21-point deficit to defeat the Wizards, 90-84, in Washington. He was still booed there every time he touched the ball. [Then the Nets played their home opener on Tuesday and got destroyed by the Hawks, 106-70. Owner Mikhail Prokhorov was a no-show, partying in France with a bunch of beautiful women.]
The New York Mess…and other Ball Bits
–Back in October, Jeff Wilpon, son of Fred, who together with Saul Katz are the Mets’ principal owners, said efforts to sell $200 million worth of shares (at $20 million a pop) were going well. As Jeff Bradley of the Star-Ledger notes, however, since then, silence. Us fans desperately want the Wilpons to sell the whole freakin’ team so we can move on instead of this death by a thousand cuts.
Howard Megdal, who just authored a book titled “Wilpon’s Folly: The Story of a Man, His Fortune and the New York Mets,” said “They owe $430 million in principal against their team, due 2014. They owe $450 million in principal due back to (TV network) SNY in June of 2015. And then they owe $25 million every six months against Citi Field. They need these minority investors right now in order to be paying short-term bills that are essentially structured as loans.”
Plus they are overdue on their $25 million loan from M.L.B., with repayment extended on that one, and they recently borrowed $40 million from Bank of America.
–Two significant player moves in Major League Baseball the past week. 26-year-old lefty hurler Gio Gonzalez, who went 16-12 with a 3.12 ERA for Oakland last year, was traded to the Washington Nationals in exchange for four minor league prospects. So take another few wins off the projected Mets total for 2012, now down to about 34 or 35.
Gonzalez is under the Nats’ control for four years and assuming Stephen Strasburg can pitch a full season, along with Jordan Zimmerman that is a helluva front three in the rotation.
Meanwhile, the St. Louis Cardinals softened the blow of the departure of Albert Pujols by signing Carlos Beltran to a two-year deal. He’ll play right and allow Lance Berkman to move to first.
–Texas Rangers catcher Yorvit Torrealba was suspended from Venezuela’s professional baseball league for 66 games for striking an umpire. After being called out on strikes, he put a hand in the umpire’s mask and shoved him. Good for league president Jose Grasso Vecchio. But will MLB Commissioner Bud Selig do anything? Can he? Penalties in winter ball do not carry over, but certainly the Texas Rangers themselves could do something. Torrealba, 33, has one more year on his contract.
–Dec. 28, 1900…Hall of Fame pitcher Ted Lyons was born. Some may say he is a marginal member of the Hall, but his 260-230 lifetime mark must be measured against the fact he toiled for the White Sox, 1923-46 (1943-45 out due to service in WWII), who had just six winning seasons while he was there, while I always loved that he completed what he started. In 1927, for example, he completed 30 of his 34 starts in going 22-14 for a team that finished 70-83.
And in 1942, at the age of 41, and in his last full season, he completed all 20 of his starts, 180 innings, going 14-6 with a league-leading 2.10 ERA for a lousy club that was 66-82.
—Sign of the Apocalypse: The crush for the new retro Nike Air Jordans, which retail for $180. In Charlotte, N.C., shoppers smashed glass doors to get to the sneakers. In suburban Atlanta, police made four arrests when a crowd broke down a door to get into a store before it opened. [Timothy Williams / New York Times] Many of the shoes are ending up on eBay.
–Boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. is 42-0 and judged by many one of the greatest boxers, pound-for-pound, in the history of the sport. But a Las Vegas judge sentenced him to 90 days in jail after he pleaded guilty to a reduced domestic violence charge and no contest to two harassment charges; this stemming from a violent argument with his ex-girlfriend while two of their children watched in September 2010.
So Mayweather will turn 35 while behind bars and it calls into serious question whether he will ever fight Manny Pacquiao.
–In a first for Atlantic City, the Trump Taj Mahal casino has been given permission to open an upscale gentlemen’s club, operated by Scores, assuming they can get a liquor license.
But, guys, lest you think this is going to fulfill all your fantasies, understand the dancers can strip down only to a G-string and pasties. Lap dances will be prohibited, with the same restrictions applying to private rooms, at a cost of $300 for 30 minutes, with the dancer then negotiating a fee on top of that.
You can place tips inside the dancer’s leg garter. But the company’s application read:
“Entertainers are instructed to remove the hand of any patron touching them elsewhere, and to place it by the patron’s side with a side-to-side ‘no’ shake of her head.”
Now discuss amongst yourselves because I’m already under probation with the International Web Site Association and need to keep my mouth shut on this topic.
I mean I’m not allowed to say something like, “Why the heck would I spend $300+ if….”
–No doubt the late Christopher Hitchens enjoyed his drink. In The Weekly Standard there was a bit from Matt Labash concerning their first formal visit while the two were holed up in the Kuwait City Hilton, waiting to make their way into Iraq at the start of the war in 2003. It was difficult getting booze in and Labash’s room became the center of smuggled in “hooch,” which he and his compatriots smuggled in past customs officials in Listerine bottles.
“So when Hitchens showed up at my door early one morning kitted for battle with nothing more than his black leather jacket, blue jeans, and a half-smoked pack of Rothmans, I offered him a welcome-to-the-war shot of ‘Listerine,’ just to be hospitable.
“ ‘I don’t usually start this early,’ he said, his glass already gratefully extended, ‘but holding yourself to a drinking schedule is always the first sign of alcoholism.’”
—Lady Gaga’s former assistant, Jennifer O’Neill, is suing Gaga for hundreds of thousands O’Neill claims she’s owed. As reported by the New York Post’s Kathianne Boniello:
“Gaga was a drag, demanding service everywhere – at her Upper West Side duplex, as well as in ‘stadiums, private jets, fine hotel suites, yachts, ferries, trains and tour buses.’
“There were no breaks for meals ‘or, at times, even sleep,’ and O’Neill was required to be on hand for anything the Grammy Award-winning singer needed.”
–A special “Insert Foot in Mouth Award” to Republican Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner, who was heard on his cellphone at Reagan National Airport very loudly saying, “Michelle Obama lectures us on eating right while she has a large posterior herself.” He apologized after it became public.
–Good gawd…you see the storm that blew through northern Scotland and then into Scandinavia this week? They called it “Dagmar.” Wind gusts were over 100 mph in parts of Scotland, and well in excess of that in Finland, Sweden and Norway, where hundreds of thousands lost power. If you were golfing in Scotland, I imagine that would have been a 12-club wind if it was in your face…just a wedge from 350 yards if it was behind you. [Half kidding, having attempted to play in 50-70 mph winds in Ireland once or twice.]
–Michael Winter / USA TODAY: “A Czech national could face 10 years in prison after Buenos Aires airport screeners found 247 living snakes and reptiles – including poisonous vipers – in the bulging suitcase he tried to check on a flight to Madrid, Agence France-Presse says.
“The ‘organic substances moving inside’ were packed in clear plastic containers, workers at the Iberia Airlines desk at Ezeiza Airport discovered after the bag was X-rayed, AFP says, citing local media. Some are reported to be extremely rare and protected by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species.
“Among the writhing cargo were South American pit vipers, yararas and several young boas.”
Some of the snakes were found dead and many more would have perished had they been loaded on the plane.
“A venomous gila monster has been captured in the Rancho Bernardo neighborhood of San Diego…
“The 2-foot-long lizard, native to the southwestern U.S. and northern Mexico, is being kept at a county animal shelter in Carlsbad until officials…can devise a relocation plan.
“ ‘It’s very dangerous and illegal to possess without a permit,’ said Lt. Dan DeSousa of the animal services department.”
Imagine the shock among the dogs at the shelter when they see the van roll in.
“I’m guessing a mutt.” [Door opens…Mr. Gila walks out, acting like he owns the place…]
–New Jersey just launched a coyote hunt. You have to bag them at night. Officials here estimate the population is north of 5,000. During the past five years, there have been two documented attacks on humans in my state.
And this is disconcerting. As reported by Lisa Rose of the Star-Ledger, “The cagey Jersey creatures might actually be wolf hybrids.”
They came via Canada, swimming across the St. Lawrence River to New York, before hitching rides to Jersey. New York State has 30,000 coyotes.
–Ripped from the pages of the Sydney Morning Herald:
Amateurs can’t compete with professionals, I always say. Actually, I probably never said that before…but the poor guy would have probably agreed. [Police said he must have had health issues.]
—Conan O’Brien: “There was a big internet rumor that Jon Bon Jovi was dead. That, of course, would mean that the band would be taken over by Kim Jong Jovi.”
–On Christmas Eve, Cheetah died. Age 80. Yes, Cheetah from the early 1930s Tarzan movies. Johnny Weismuller kept Cheetah on his estate until 1960, after which the chimp lived at a Florida animal sanctuary.
But here’s the reason why chimps will never be in the All-Species Top Ten. Debbie Cobb, of the sanctuary, “says Cheetah wasn’t a troublemaker. Still, sanctuary volunteer Ron Priest says that when the chimp didn’t like what was going on, he would throw feces.” [AP] I saw that kind of behavior at the Berlin Zoo a few years ago. Thankfully, I wasn’t in the direct line of fire.
And the 2011 Bar Chat Awards…with your host, Charlie Sheen!
“Let’s see, I made off with about $65 million by leaving the show you remember me being on. Winning!!!”
Good Guy – TCU Coach Gary Patterson for being a class act in praising Boise State last January when he said they belonged in the Rose Bowl.
Dirtballs – Premier League footballers John Terry, Luis Suarez and countless others who are virulent racists…an issue that was supposed to have been tackled in the sport back in the 1970s, but has reared its ugly head again. Liverpool striker Suarez received an eight-match ban and a $62,000 fine for racially abusing a Manchester United player, while Terry is facing a court of law on a charge he racially abused an opponent. Terry is England’s captain.
Idiot – in last April’s Barry Bonds trial, eleven of 12 jurors voted to convict Bonds of lying about never receiving an injection from trainer Greg Anderson. “Nyisha, the single holdout juror on the injection charge, said she ‘needed more’ evidence, while declining to go into detail. On the steroids count, she said: ‘We did go back and forth. But the question was, did Barry Bonds know that was steroids?’” [Bloomberg News]
Dirtball – The late Barry Halper, sports memorabilia scam artist…as it has come to light in the past year.
A-hole – Dodgers owner Frank McCourt, who took something like $190 million out of the club for personal distributions, thus completely alienating the Dodgers’ fan base.
Jerk – Seattle Seahawks receiver Golden Tate, who Tweeted upon seeing NASCAR great Jimmie Johnson as a nominee for male athlete of the year at the ESPY Awards, “Jimmy Johnson up for best athlete???? Um nooo…driving a car does not show athleticism.” Tate continued, further angering NASCAR fans… “get these rednecks off me.” [Johnson mostly laughed it off.]
A-hole – Albert Pujols.
Jerk – Former Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Champion, Takeru Kobayashi, for continuing his contract dispute with Major League Eating, which has allowed Joey Chestnut to win five consecutive Nathan’s contests on the Fourth of July. My, how time flies. It was only yesterday that I was comparing Kobayashi to the greats in the sporting world, from Ruth to Usain Bolt.
Dirtball – Harvey Updyke, the 62-year-old former state trooper who was charged with poisoning the two Toomer’s Corner, 130-year-old oak trees in Auburn, Ala. Cue Jeff Spicoli.
A-hole – Xavier’s star point guard, Tu Holloway, for acting like a gangsta thug.
Jerk – Ashton Kutcher, for defending Joe Paterno while not knowing what everyone was giving Joe Pa grief for.
Jerk and Idiot – Caddie Steve Williams.
A-holes: The Wilpons. Major League A-holes. “Big time,” as Dick Cheney would have said.
Good Guys – Prince William and Prince Harry.
Class Woman – Kate Middleton.
Best Butt – Pippa Middleton.
Idiot – Manny Ramirez.
Jerk – Santonio Holmes.
Dirtball – Lakers center Andrew Bynum for his cheap shot in the playoffs against the Mavs for which he was suspended the first five games of the new NBA season.
Jerks – Boston Red Sox pitchers Jon Lester, Josh Beckett, and John Lackey, for drinking beer in the clubhouse and in the dugout during games.
Dirtball – Kesho, an 11-year-old silverback gorilla, who killed Tiny, a seven-month-old lowland gorilla, in a fight. Let’s just say it wasn’t a fair fight, but Kesho, who had just arrived from the Dublin Zoo last year, had IRA guerrilla training, which combined with natural gorilla skills, makes for a bad person, err, gorilla.
Good Guy – Golfer Ryo Ishikawa for giving all of his tournament earnings this year to the victims of the earthquake and tsunami in his native Japan.
Idiot – Jeremy Tyler, “Former high school basketball star who has been playing abroad for two years, responding to a question about the Trail Blazers’ coach during a workout in Portland: ‘Nate McMillan? What college is that?’” [Sports Illustrated’s “They Said It”]
Jerk – NBA ballplayer Ron Artest changed his name to “Metta World Peace.” That, my friends, is the true definition of a jerk.
A-Hole of the Year – Joe Paterno. His legacy is ruined.
Dirtball of the Year – Jerry Sandusky…hands down. Dishonorable mention to former Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine. Suffice it to say, just look at some of the above names. It was a terrible year in sports.
Man of the Year – Really not close. As Mark R. told me way back, “Man of the Year competition is over!!!” Wake Forest baseball coach Tom Walter, who donated one of his kidneys to freshman outfielder Kevin Jordan. None of Jordan’s family members was a suitable donor and after discovering he was a strong match, Walter stepped up. [I also can’t help but note; Walter is white, Jordan is black.] That was last February. From all indications, it would appear Jordan will be ready to play for the Deacs this spring (season actually starts mid-Feb.) It’s been a tough stretch for Wake Forest sports, but, yes, we are very proud of this one.
Animal of the Year – Dog…again…especially the bomb sniffing dogs of Afghanistan. From the Sunday Times of London:
“As men from the Royal Gurkha Rifles and 20 Commando Regiment took cover in a compound, the Taliban threw four hand grenades over a wall. Hobo ended up with a bleeding neck wound – the dog had been hit three times, one piece of shrapnel passing through its neck, another lodging in its abdomen.”
The captain on the scene pressed a field dressing to stem the bleeding. “I found it harder than treating a human because I couldn’t explain what was going on,” he said. “Hobo was calm throughout and just stood there while we treated him.”
“Amidst the chaotic, haunting images that have defined news coverage of Japan since the earthquake hit on March 11, a heartwarming scene emerged last week. A video captured a haggard dog standing guard and protecting an injured companion in the middle of a mutilated landscape, occasionally offering a comforting stroke of the paw. It took rescue workers an hour to convince the sentry to leave the ward. The injured dog was then taken to a clinic, the other to a shelter. The world was left with a heartening lesson: Sometimes a dog can be another dog’s best friend, too.”
Pittsburgh Steelers Quiz Answer: Numbers 3-5 on career passing list.
3. Kordell Stewart (1995-2002) 13,328
4. Neil O’Donnell (1991-95) 12,867
5. Bubby Brister (1986-92) 10,104
Of course you are aware that until the 1970s, the Steelers were one sorry ass franchise. In looking at their quarterback situation, pre-Bradshaw, there are some doozies.
Like Johnny Gildea (1935-37), who was 51-181 (28.2%) for his career, with five touchdown passes and 34 interceptions! That would be like having six games of 30 pass attempts and 5-6 INTs in each one. In 1935, Gildea was 28-105, with 2 TDs and 20 INTs.
And then there was Byron “Whizzer” White. In 1938, he led the league in rushing with 567 yards, but he was 29-73 passing with 2 TDs and 18 INTs. So that would be like two games with the following passing line…back-to-back contests with 9 interceptions in 36 pass attempts.
In Memoriam:
Looking at Sports Illustrated and their list of “Farewells,” it was a sad year in the sports world. Among the significant passings…Lorenzo Charles, Dan Wheldon, John Mackey, Duke Snider, Al Davis, Grete Waitz, Smokin’ Joe Frazier, Harmon Killebrew, Seve Ballesteros, Bubba Smith, Jack LaLanne, Chuck Tanner, and Vasili Alexeyev.
Auld Lang Syne
A year ago, Peggy Noonan wrote of the New Year’s anthem in her Wall Street Journal column. The song means many things to many people.
The phrase itself can be translated as “long, long ago,” or “old long since,” but Noonan likes “old times past.”
It was written, or written down, by Robert Burns, the Scottish poet. He initially sent it to the Scots Museum in 1788. It spread throughout Scotland and was sung to mark the end of the old year, while today it’s sung to mark the new.
“The question it asks is clear: Should those we knew and loved be forgotten and never thought of? Should old times past be forgotten? No, says the song, they shouldn’t be. We’ll remember those times and those people, we’ll toast them now and always, we’ll keep them close. ‘We’ll take a cup of kindness yet.’
“ ‘The phrase old acquaintance is important,’ says my friend John Whitehead, fabled figure of the old Goldman Sachs, the Reagan State Department, and D-Day. ‘It’s not only your close friends and people you love, it’s people you knew even casually, and you think of them and it brings tears to my eyes.’ For him, acquaintance includes, ‘your heroes, my heroes – the Winston Churchills of life, the ones you admire. They’re old acquaintances too.’
“But ‘the interesting, more serious message in the song is that the past is important, we mustn’t forget it, the old has something for us.’….
“To Tom Coburn, a U.S. senator from Oklahoma, the song is about friendship: ‘I think it’s a description of the things we lose in our hurry to do things. We forget to be a friend. We have to take the time to make friends and be friends, to sit and tell stories and listen to those of others.’”
No doubt it’s a wistful tune. Most of us of a certain age have one thought in mind when we hear “Auld Lang Syne,” Guy Lombardo and his orchestra playing it on New Year’s Eve. And these days, with the popularity of “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Speaking of which, I saw a piece on CBS’ “Sunday Morning” program on Seneca Falls, New York, which claims to be the real Bedford Falls. There are certainly some significant clues it is; that Frank Capra got inspiration from walking around the town.
Lastly, who were the guest artists on the first New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Dick Clark on Dec. 31, 1972? Three Dog Night, Helen Reddy, Al Green and Blood, Sweat and Tears.
