[Posted 5:00 PM ET, Sunday…heading over to my brother’s to drink some premium, you understand.]
NFL Quiz: After rushing for 2,097 yards last season, Adrian Peterson has vowed to hit 2,500 this year. But none of the other six to rush for 2,000 in a season ever had a second such effort. Name those six. Answer below.
College Football….and Johnny Jerk
–What a total freakin’ disgrace, the half-game suspension handed down to Johnny Football, Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel, last year’s Heisman Trophy winner. And what does Manziel do when he enters the game against Rice on Saturday in the second half? He throws three touchdown passes but taunts his opponents, making autograph and money gestures, whereupon he finally received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty and was immediately removed by A&M coach Kevin Sumlin in the Aggies’ 52-31 win.
The broadcasters doing the game ripped Manziel to shreds, as did ESPN’s studio hosts the remainder of the day. I don’t ever recall such universal contempt immediately following a performance like what we witnessed.
Add me to the list of Johnny Haters…I don’t like to use that word, but as the ESPN, and later ABC, crew kept reminding us, there are a whole lot of teams and players around the sport who now detest this guy with a passion; not only for his on-field behavior, but for getting off so easily.
“Despite multiple media reports that the star quarterback violated NCAA regulations by autographing massive amounts of sports memorabilia in exchange for money, the NCAA says it was unable to produce any real evidence. In fact, as the probe continued, the NCAA ended up looking more guilty because it rakes in millions off the names and images of college athletes while harassing players for doing the same.
“Whether it was because it had no evidence or was embarrassed by where the investigation was going, the NCAA cleared Manziel of receiving payments for his autographs but found him guilty of allowing his name to be used for commercial purposes. Hence the half-game suspension agreed to by the Aggies and the NCAA.
“None of it makes sense. Why should Manziel be punished at all if there’s no real evidence he profited off signing memorabilia? And if he is to be punished, isn’t a 30-minute suspension a joke?
“The bigger problem here is something we’ve pointed to before: Amateur college athletics has become an industry in which everyone – the schools, the coaches and the NCAA – makes a fortune except for the players. The case of Johnny Football is a symptom of a much larger problem.”
“After all the talk about what the Heisman Trophy winner did or did not make while signing autographs during the offseason, it turns out he’ll miss less playing time than if he had skipped bed check the night before the game….Stragglers arriving to their seats extra late from their tailgate might never know he was suspended.
“Thirty minutes? That’s a suspension? That’s more like missing the team bus….
“Manziel reportedly told the NCAA he wasn’t paid, so that appears to be the end of that. It’s similar to the Cam Newton ending, though, isn’t it? The individual schools are thrilled, while everyone else still smells the cash, or thinks they do, but just can’t prove it.
“The NCAA and A&M still believe Manziel made a mistake, however, which is why he is being punished… kind of. The school and the NCAA agreed that student-athletes like Manziel – who really is more like an athlete-athlete, come to think of it – should know that when signing numerous autographs in one sitting, those autographs are likely to be sold for commercial purposes.
“Truth be told, Manziel almost certainly did know that but went ahead with the signing anyway, although no one in College Station or Indianapolis (NCAA headquarters) wants to even think about that today.
“They’d rather focus on the good news, which is that this bizarre scandal is now officially over….
“Let’s hope that doesn’t mean the investigation was truncated and we learn months or even years later that Johnny Football really was Johnny Cash.”
“Texas A&M’s half-game suspension of Johnny Manziel is one of the most ridiculous punishments meted out in NCAA history – and that’s a high bar….
“Meantime, the University of Miami is still awaiting word on its punishment for the actions of naughty booster Nevin Shapiro. Remember him? No? Well, he’s so last year. Actually, he’s so 2011; that’s when the accusations were first made. Of course, the NCAA investigation ground to a halt when it had to investigate itself for wrongdoing by its investigators in investigating Miami. (You can’t make this stuff up!) The school made its final case before the NCAA two months ago – and still hasn’t learned its fate….
“So one investigation is tied up with a bow and a faux punishment in less than a month and just in time for the subject’s season opener – and that subject happens to be last year’s Heisman Trophy winner. What a coincidence!….
“When the Manziel story first broke, I couldn’t help but think of former Georgia receiver A.J. Green, who was suspended for four games – that’s eight halves – for selling a signed, game-worn jersey to a quasi-agent for $1,000. The NCAA looked at his bank records as part of a different investigation (involving Miami, if you can believe it; it’s the sports version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon), saw a $1,000 deposit and asked him about it.
“ ‘I told them,’ Green said. ‘I’m not going to lie to them and jeopardize my whole season.’
“What a chump. Green should have hired a lawyer, refused to talk to the media and threatened to transfer. Maybe then he’d have gotten a slap on the wrist as well. Manziel rewrote the record books during his freshman season; now he’s revising the playbook for rule breakers. Maybe he can wrap it up during the first half of Saturday’s game.”
–Hard to keep up with the Texas A&M roster these days. Four more players were suspended for the Rice opener and the following game for “violating athletics department rules and regulations.” Two of them were returning starters on defense and another was expected to start on ‘D.’
Earlier, aside from the Manziel mess, three had been suspended for either a half or full game stemming from offseason arrests.
So you could just say the Aggies are nothing more than a bunch of jerks, Johnny Football the leader of the pack.
—North Dakota State pulled off another huge upset, defeating Big 12 champion Kansas State 24-21 on Friday night in Manhattan, Kansas before the second-largest crowd in school history. Of course the Bison are also back-to-back FCS national champions. But picture how K-State was dedicating a $90 million renovation to the west side of its stadium in a ceremony attended by Gov. Sam Brownback and Sens. Pat Roberts and Jerry Moran. Plus it unveiled an 8-foot bronze statue of its beloved coach, 73-year-old Bill Snyder. Needless to say, if you know Snyder, this coming week is not going to be a pleasant one at practice for the Wildcats.
Back to NDSU, three years ago they defeated Kansas, two years ago Minnesota, and last year Colorado State. But Friday night’s stunner is the biggest.
–Not to be outdone, how about Eastern Washington’s 49-46 upset of No. 25 Oregon State in Corvallis?
Down go the Beavers! Down go the Beavers! [My Beaverwear is now firmly ensconced in my losers sports drawer.]
Eastern Washington quarterback Vernon Adams was spectacular…23/30 for 411 yards through the air and another 107 on the ground (four TD passes, two scores rushing, including the go-ahead TD with 18 seconds left). The Eagles become just the third FCS team to beat a ranked FBS team; the other two being James Madison, which defeated Virginia Tech in September 2010, and Appalachian State’s historic win over Michigan in 2007.
[Overall, seven FCS schools had wins against their FBS opponents this weekend, including Towson defeating Connecticut and Eastern Illinois upsetting San Diego State. Reminder, one of the differences between the old Division I-A (FBS) vs. Division I-AA (FCS) is that the former can dole out 85 athletic scholarships while the latter can only hand out 63, let alone FBS schools are always hosting these contests.]
—Fresno State is a sleeper team that with a weak schedule could run the table and sneak into a BCS berth. They began their quest with a 52-51 overtime thriller over Rutgers. The only other big opponent is probably Boise State, which entered the week at No. 19 but then got waxed by Washington, 38-6.
–Another sleeper, as I noted before (a Chris Dufresne of the Los Angeles Times special) is Western Kentucky. They defeated Kentucky 35-26 and next play Tennessee. A win there could easily lead to an undefeated season and a BCS headache.
—No. 1 Alabama defeated Virginia Tech in Atlanta, 35-10, but only generated 206 yards of offense.
So how did they do it? An interception returned for a touchdown, and the return game heroics of Christion (sic) Jones, who scored on a 72-yard punt return and returned a kickoff 94 yards. Jones also scored on a 38-yard pass play from A.J. McCarron.
—No. 2 Ohio State was favored by 36 ½ over Buffalo and won by only 40-20, a classic example of why you simply don’t bet on college football until at least Week 3. It is just way too unpredictable on the point-spread front before then.
—No. 3 Oregon whipped Nicholls State like a rented mule, 66-3, as my Ducks (quack quack) rolled up 772 yards of offense, including an even 500 on the ground in 45 carries. They say that’s a pretty good average. Superstar De’ Anthony Thomas had 128 yards on 18 carries, but Byron Marshall had 124 on just 8! Thus begins the Mark Helfrich era, he replacing Chip Kelly, who left to go to the Philadelphia Eagles.
–And in the marquee matchup for Week 1, No. 8 Clemson prevailed over No. 5 Georgia in Death Valley, 38-35, in a game that lived up to its billing. Tajh Boyd threw three scores and rushed for two others as he outplayed his Georgia counterpart, Aaron Murray.
—No. 14 Notre Dame easily dispatched of Temple 28-6 behind quarterback Tommy Rees, who threw for 346 yards.
–Zach Schonbrun of the New York Times had a piece on how difficult it was to sell tickets for Saturday’s Syracuse-Penn State contest at MetLife Stadium (Meadowlands). People in the New York area just aren’t into college football.
What is the level of apathy towards the sport, given the heavy press received by the Jets and Giants, almost 365 days a year?
“A study by Scarborough Sports Marketing from February 2012 through March 2013 ranked the top 77 markets in affinity for college football and found that only 7.6 percent of New York area residents considered themselves to be ‘very interested’ in the sport. That ranked 76th, slightly ahead of Providence, R.I.”
I love college football. I love the Jets (even though they have me thinking about suicide these days…I was checking the train schedule but then I realized the 10:28 a.m. Sunday express nearby would interfere with the roundtable discussion on ABC’s “This Week”…), but only 7.6% feel like they can follow both? Geezuz, that’s pathetic.
Granted, I couldn’t care less about Syracuse or Penn State, but if Rutgers is playing well I’ll follow that local institution, and I have some good friends who are fanatical over their alma maters, Colgate and Lehigh.
Anyway, New York’s ranking on this front compares with Birmingham, Ala. (52 percent) or Columbus, Ohio (44.1 percent) and trailed Buffalo (10 percent) in terms of statewide interest. Philadelphia (12.4 percent) and Boston (8.7) were almost as poor.
Meanwhile, Penn State’s attendance at home is in decline, down to 96,730 on average in 2012 from 101,427 the year before; a fifth straight decline, actually. Of course the sexual abuse scandal and its aftermath had something to do with that.
As for Saturday, though, Penn State defeated Syracuse 23-17 behind freshman QB Christian Hackenberg, who threw for 278 yards and two touchdowns. And the crowd? A surprisingly strong 61,200! As Ronald Reagan would have said…not bad, not bad at all.
[Hackenberg became just the second freshman QB to start an opener at Penn State since 1910!]
–Earlier in the week, No. 6 South Carolina opened with a 27-10 win over North Carolina. Gamecock superstar defensive end Jadeveon Clowney looked very ordinary, supposedly playing despite a stomach virus, but everyone agrees he’s out of shape, including his coach, Steve Spurrier. The excessive heat and humidity also no doubt had something to do with his lackluster play.
—Wake Forest allowed only two first downs in its 31-7 over the John Calvin-led Presbyterian Church. Next up, a critical Friday night contest at Boston College that to many of us will be the season. Win and 7-5 is possible. Lose and it could be a disaster.
–Finally, in a sign of the apocalypse, Maryland’s Towson University cheerleading squad was suspended for the academic year after administrators caught wind of a hazing scandal. Older members were hazing newcomers. I mean to tell you, sports fans, this squad of gals won first place at the National Cheerleaders Association competition in April!
Officials haven’t given details on just what the girls were doing to each other.
NFL…It’s the Rams!
–Sports Illustrated’s Peter King picked New England to defeat Seattle in the Super Bowl.
King also picked the Raiders and Jets to finish a league worst 3-13. I am sticking with my prediction the Jets go 2-14.
As for my Exclusive Pick to Click, I thought long and hard on this. I initially was going to go with Green Bay, enamored with their drafting of running backs Eddie Lacy and Johnathan (sic) Franklin. But instead I am admittedly taking a total flyer this year….the St. Louis Rams…over New England.
Yeah, yeah, I know. How can I do this when for starters they have four games with Seattle and San Francisco, who are both seen as locks for the playoffs.
I just think St. Louis is loaded with weapons and that Sam Bradford will have his breakout season at quarterback. I also believe the defense is better than most believe.
Now this pick could blow up in my face very early. After opening at home against Arizona, they are at Atlanta and at Dallas, before a quick turnaround for a Thursday night affair against San Francisco. I would be very happy to see them go 2-2 the first four. 1-3, though, probably spells 8-8.
For now, I’m just going to have fun with this. I’m a Jets fan, after all. Following them all season will have me reaching for my sword on a weekly basis.
–The NFL and more than 4,500 former players reached agreement to resolve concussion-related lawsuits with a $765 million settlement that would fund medical exams, concussion-related compensation and medical research, a federal judge said.
The NFL has denied any wrongdoing and has insisted that safety has always been a top priority.
The settlement also means the NFL does not have to disclose internal files about what it knew, when, about concussion-linked brain problems.
Each of the NFL’s 32 franchises will pay $24 million over 20 years, or roughly $1.2 million a year. Projected league revenues this season are $10 billion, and the NFL finalized a series of media-rights deals last year that guarantee more than $40 billion through 2022.
$675 million of the settlement is to go toward compensation, the rest for baseline medical exams for ex-players and $10 million to go to research and education.
So the league was able to get this issue off the table in time for the opening of the NFL season on Thursday.
“What a great day for further memory loss and long-term suffering. What a landslide victory for Roger Goodell and the Hall of Pain Game.
“When 4,500 former NFL players, greats and scrubs alike, joined the largest class-action lawsuit in American sports history – claiming memory lapses, dementia, Lou Gehrig’s disease and worse could have been prevented if the league cared more about their brains and bodies – I thought real, lasting change might come to football on all levels, from Pee Wee to pros.
“Silly, sentimental me. I had no idea the forces of I-gotta-get-mines mentality were at work.
“I had no idea the litigants who settled for $765 million – less than the value of the NFL’s least valuable franchise, the Oakland Raiders – weren’t interested in truly helping us recover from our national hurt addiction.
“It would be callous today to completely dismiss the urgent medical needs (of some)….
“But let’s be clear what happened: Goodell’s lawyers took advantage of the immediate-gratification needs of the NFL’s former players, just as the league once took advantage of woozy-headed men who knew their careers might be over if they didn’t go back in the game.
“On the face of it, $765 million is a huge number. But delve deeper and find out that $206 billion was paid to smokers over 25 years by tobacco companies or learn that major breast implant manufacturers paid women who suffered auto-immune disease from Silicon implants $3.4 billion….
“The concussion litigants…lacked the fortitude they used to play with. Some of the all-time greats and the teammates who carried water for them needed help now. They weren’t interested in helping the next generation; they wanted to get paid.
“And the future of football is much poorer for it today.”
“Thomas Jones, one of the youngest plaintiffs at 35 [Ed. 12-year career as a running back, over 10,000 yards for multiple teams]…said he felt lucky that he had not had serious health problems. When he feels down, or has mood swings, or forgets the topic of a conversation, he fears it is because of the countless concussions he sustained during his career, he said.
“Jones said he had made arrangements to donate his brain to the Sports Legacy Institute, a Boston nonprofit organization, for research. He is also shopping around a documentary series he produced, ‘The NFL: The gift or the Curse?’ One of the episodes in the series, which examines off-the-field issues, is about concussions and their effects.
“The settlement was fine, he said, but he was still disturbed.
“ ‘You can’t buy your brain back,’ Jones said. ‘That’s the problem. Everybody looks at the money – not the actual issue. There are family members dealing with these players that have problems walking, that don’t even remember their names.’
“As part of the settlement, retired players will not have to prove that they had concussions or that concussions led to their neurological problems. They will need to prove only that they have neurological issues. The Hall of Fame running back Floyd Little, who says he has memory problems, told The Post-Standard in Syracuse that it was insulting for players to have to prove their level of disability.
“The settlement does little to change the science of evaluating and addressing concussions. In the proposed deal, the league agreed to spend $10 million on unspecified research, a pittance given the expense of doing large-scale, long-term studies that specialists say are needed to determine critical issues like who might be predisposed to developing neurological problems from head trauma.”
–Gotta feel sorry for the Buffalo Bills. They were all fired up about rookie quarterback EJ Manual, but then he was forced to have minor knee surgery and won’t be available for a while. They then turned to veteran Kevin Kolb, but now his career is in jeopardy as he suffered at least his third concussion in last Saturday’s preseason game. They signed veteran stiff Matt Leinart and after a 3-for-10 performance, he was cut. Brad Smith, who can play QB but has mostly been used in the slot or in the wildcat, is on injured reserve (joining Kolb). So it appears Jeff Tuel, an undrafted rookie from Washington State with a 4-22 record as a collegian, will start in Week 1, which would make him the first undrafted rookie free agent quarterback to start the season opener since the common draft started in 1967.
But would they grab Tim Tebow, who was cut by New England? The Bills play the Pats opening week. What will happen to Tebow, period. He is vowing to keep seeking a pro job but while he had some decent moments in his last preseason appearance, he still hasn’t learned how to throw.
[Ryan Mallett is going to be Tom Brady’s backup, by the way. Mallett has solid potential.]
–It seems pretty clear the Jets are starting the season with Geno Smith at QB, seeing as Mark Sanchez is unable to throw due to his shoulder injury. Matt Simms made the squad as the No. 3 signal-caller based off an eye-opening preseason performance. At least he has an arm. What’s so surprising is that he sucked in college.
–The Atlanta Falcons waived Brian Banks, the 28-year-old linebacker who was attempting to make a late start to his NFL career after spending five years in prison and five on probation for a crime he did not commit; the conviction later being overturned.
This is a guy who was a standout in high school and was offered a scholarship by USC, but never went there because this woman falsely accused him with rape. She later recanted her accusation.
Falcons coach Mike Smith summed up the battle Banks faced.
“Brian is a guy that has not played football in 10 years. He has really matured and progressed as a football player since we’ve had him on our roster.”
He did make two tackles in the Falcons loss to Jacksonville on Thursday night, including one for a loss.
Banks, who we’ve quickly learned is a class act, said “I’ve enjoyed myself the whole time.”
I haven’t heard if anyone else will give him a shot. I was hoping he’d make Atlanta’s practice squad, or someone else’s.
I just hope he has a successful life in whatever he chooses to do from here on. Few in America deserve it more than this guy.
–Michael Salfino of the Wall Street Journal had a piece that should worry fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Atlanta Falcons. Both teams failed to win a game in the preseason, which is viewed as meaningless.
Except… “Teams that go winless in August generally don’t go on to play many games in January. Since 1994, 37 teams have finished the preseason without a win. Just nine went on to have winning regular seasons and only three of those nine would win a playoff game.”
“Since starters rarely play deep into preseason games, being winless in the preseason could be an earlier indication that a team lacks depth, which will inevitably be costly when the games actually count.”
Both the Steelers and Falcons lost key players from last season’s playoff teams.
“Last year, the league’s three winless preseason teams – the Dolphins, Bills and Jets – finished a combined 19-29. And that probably would have been worse if they weren’t all playing each other in the same AFC East division.”
–Still no word on the 2014 Super Bowl halftime act, now that we know for sure the Meadowlands is going to be hit by a monster storm that day. Billy Joel seems to have entered the conversation. And some are talking about Cirque du Soleil, believe it or not, and not dealing with a musical act in the cold.
–I really felt sorry for Fox sideline reporter Pam Oliver when she got smashed in the face with a football, an errant toss thrown by Colts backup QB Chandler Harnish. Oliver was turned away as it was during pregame warm-ups and it’s the last thing you’d expect. Anyone seeing the clip had to be thinking that must have hurt a lot.
Well, unfortunately, we’ve now learned just how much it hurt Oliver. The New York Daily News’ Bob Raissman interviewed her the other day and poor Pam suffered a concussion.
Oliver admitted she didn’t want to discuss it initially, but “Now I want to get it out there. It was a painful, shocking moment. I didn’t really know what happened.”
As Raissman reports, “In the days following this flash of pain, neither would anyone else who watched the Internet video….
“Adrenaline got Oliver through the game telecast (‘You don’t want to be wimpy, you just have to push through it.’), but in the car riding back to the hotel, when she began to relax, the slight headache turned into one of the pounding variety….
“After waking up that Monday her head hurt so much she had to hold it. ‘The sensitivity to light started and some nausea too,’ she said. ‘My whole body was sore.’ Oliver went to the doctor. The CT Scan came up clean, but she was diagnosed with a concussion. Oliver spent the next five days in a dark room inside her home.”
Finally, she began to feel better and stronger, but the headaches still come and go. She’s slated to be on the sidelines Sept. 8 when the Packers play the 49ers in San Francisco.
Ball Bits
–The Pittsburgh Pirates continue to take no chances. They want to win the division and not have to deal with the one-game wildcard playoff, so after acquiring Marlon Byrd and John Buck from the Mets, they picked up slugger Justin Morneau in a trade with Minnesota for spare outfielder Alex Presley. Morneau appears to be rounding back into the form that made him one of the game’s premier hitters before he suffered a debilitating concussion.
–My New York Mets are going to have one interesting offseason. Only two position players, it would seem, are set…third base with David Wright and our new catcher Travis d’Arnaud. The rest, who knows?
Perhaps the biggest decision is what to do with first baseman Ike Davis, whose season ended Saturday when he suffered an oblique injury. Ike finishes the year at .205, 9 HR 33 RBI in 317 at-bats; this after going .227, 32-90 last season. Both years he had horrific first halves and Mets fans have had it.
David made $3.125 million this year and turns 27 next spring. The Mets can just let him go. But they have no obvious option for 2014. What will the Metsies do?
–Mets pitching great Tom Seaver talked to the Daily News’ Bill Madden about pitch counts, following the disclosure of Matt Harvey’s arm injury.
“Naturally, I felt terrible for the kid…But at the same time, all I could think of was how it just goes to show how all this babying of pitchers is a bunch of nonsense. You can’t predict these things, and there’s really not a whole lot you can do to prevent them other than refining your mechanics as (‘60s and ‘70s Mets pitching coach) Rube (Walker) did with us. But one way I know doesn’t do anything to prevent them is babying these kids like they do.”
Seaver averaged 265 innings his first 13 years in the big leagues and said all of his Hall of Fame pitching cohorts in the ‘60s and ‘70s – Juan Marichal, Steve Carlton, Ferguson Jenkins, Jim Palmer, even Warren Spahn – got to Cooperstown, without incident, because they just pitched. [Ed. though Palmer certainly had some injury issues.]
Seaver says of the above, “They conditioned their arms by pitching more, not less, starting from when they signed their first contract….I keep going back to that (July 2, 1963) Marichal-Spahn game when they both pitched 16 innings and threw almost 500 pitches between them.
“Neither one of them had any adverse aftereffects from it.”
“These kids today, they want to be men, they want to be foxhole guys, but they’re not being allowed to do that,” Seaver said. “Imagine if these computer geeks who are running baseball now were allowed to run a war? They’d be telling our soldiers: ‘That’s enough. You’ve fired too many bullets from your rifle this week!’”
–I’ve been writing of the St. Louis Cardinals’ record-setting prowess at the plate with runners in scoring position, still at a .327 clip through Saturday’s games, but the New York Times’ Tyler Kepner points out this weekend that with Allen Craig at a stupendous .452, it’s the best since George Brett in 1980, who hit .469 with RISP!
–I can’t wait to Texas’ Yu Darvish in the playoffs. Darvish is 12-6, 2.73, but with a staggering 236 strikeouts in 174 innings.
–With all the talk of Matt Harvey’s season, the Marlins’ Jose Fernandez is getting lost in the conversation of great performances. The 21-year-old budding superstar is 10-6, 2.33, with 173 Ks in 158 innings. Of course Miami blows, making his performance all the more remarkable.
[Awful loss on Sunday by the Yankees to the Orioles, as New York blew a 3-0 lead, losing 7-3, as the two battle it out in the wild-card race.]
–My Uncle Bunsie, who lives in Greensburg, Pa., is about 90 years old. Back in the day, I’ve been long told he was a terrific high school athlete but in visiting with him the other day, my brother just learned that in a tryout for the Pittsburgh Pirates (unsuccessful), my uncle got to shake hands with Honus Wagner! He was a Pirates coach at the time. How cool would that have been?
The other day, Mets broadcaster and Hall of Famer Ralph Kiner, also 90, did his irregular two-inning stint in the booth (he appears during some afternoon home games over the course of the season), and while he isn’t as sharp as he used to be (no Kinerisms appropriate anymore, folks), he can still spin a tale or two.
So the broadcasting team of Kiner, Gary Cohen and Ron Darling were talking about Max Scherzer and his 19-1 record, matched only by Roger Clemens and Rube Marquard in 1912, and Kiner goes, “I met Rube Marquard at a charity deal…he was a helluva dancer!”
After Kiner left, Cohen said what was on all of our minds. “What a treasure it is to still have Ralph around. I mean the guy has a connection to Rube Marquard!”
–I love Bryce Harper, but the other night in watching the Mets-Nationals contest, Harper was loafing out of the box on a ground ball that was bobbled and because he wasn’t running hard he was still thrown out. This apparently happens far too often. Bryce, you never see Mike Trout do this!
–The Bay Bridge connecting San Francisco to Oakland was closed this weekend, prior to the opening of a new span, a move long-telegraphed, yet the Tampa Bay Rays decided to stay in San Francisco for their series with the A’s. Ergo, the Rays’ team bus, taking the available alternate route, took an hour and 45 minutes to get to the park, while pitcher David Price, hopping in a cab, ran up a whopping $202 fare!
Golf Balls
–Prior to the first week of the FedEx Cup playoffs, here’s a look at the difference on the respective money lists. [This is a natural breakpoint as many of the European Tour regulars/semi-regulars are involved in the FedEx Cup, which end on a Monday this week, thus nothing to comment on.]
PGA Tour
European Tour
LPGA Tour
“A Long Island duffer seeking birdies and eagles on a Cancun golf course instead found a crocodile – and lost two fingers in the encounter.
“The horror unfolded when Edward Lunger hooked the ball to the left of the fairway at the lush Iberostar Cancun Golf Club in Mexico. ‘It was in the sand,’ Lunger recalled.
“The 50-year engineer took a couple of practice swings and then chipped out of the bunker. He heard leaves rustle.
“ ‘All of a sudden, his arm went back, and his head went back,’ pal Mark Martin recalled. ‘I saw the crocodile leap up.’”
“The angry female chomped down on Lunger’s left arm up to his elbow, using its tail and claws to drag Lunger to the sand, the men said.
“ ‘She pulled me back and flipped me, and I went to the ground,’ Lunger said.”
Somehow he pulled out, which he doesn’t remember how he did it.
“Martin jumped out of his golf cart and, in an adrenaline-fueled act of courage, grabbed a 40-pound boulder and smashed it onto the monster’s head just as Lunger freed himself.”
They were able to run away and used golf towels to make a tourniquet.
But get this. You know how you hear all those stories of far cheaper medical care overseas?
“Paramedics took Lunger to a private hospital where, he claims, he was forced to pay the $17,800 bill up front before he could get treatment.
“The men, and two other friends, split the tab on their credit cards.
“Doctors managed to reattach Lunger’s index finger, but he lost his middle finger and most of his ring finger.”
Lunger blames the golf course, saying there were no warning signs. Staffers told Lunger this wasn’t the first time crocs had attacked patrons on the course. So Lunger has filed a $2.25 million suit against Iberostar. They had pressured him to sign papers absolving the resort of any responsibility, which he didn’t do, so then, get this, they “allegedly spread rumors that Lunger prompted the attack by teasing the croc with chicken.”
Yet another reason to blow off Mexico. Might as well get attacked by American grown alligator instead.
–I find it very tough to get into the U.S. Open with all the rain delays, plus this week it has the misfortune of running up against opening week for college football.
Anyway, No. 6-seeded Caroline Wozniacki was stunned by a former gymnast, Camila Giorgi, a 21-year-old qualifier who is rather cute. [Well she is! I mean what else am I supposed to say? Actually, she’s pretty hot.]
On the men’s side, I am posting this column prior to American Tim Smyczek’s match with Spain’s Marcel Granollers, Sunday (weather permitting). If Smyczek loses, a distinct possibility, it would be the first time with zero U.S. men in the round of 16 ever at this event.
–Former New York Knick Dean (The Dream) Meminger had his funeral the other day and I thought it was a great touch that teammate Bill Bradley was there, along with other teammates and Knicks fanatic Spike Lee. While Lee loves the limelight and attention, at least you know his affection for the team is genuine.
Heck, New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly attended Meminger’s service.
—Lindsey Vonn is close to hitting the slopes again after her serious knee injury, way ahead of schedule. She vows to enter a competition in late November at a World Cup stop in Beaver Creek, Colo., which is about three months before the February Sochi Olympics. Vonn says boyfriend Tiger Woods has been a big help in her rehab, especially since he can relate having gone through major knee surgery himself. [Vonn also vows she will never get married again. “I’m done with that. The box is checked.”]
–The following is fascinating stuff from the BBC’s Rosemary Peters:
“A study of whooping cranes has shed new light on how much of a bird’s migration route is learnt, and how much is innate in its genetics.
“Scientists found that learning from older, more experienced birds was a crucial factor in the migratory habits of this long-lived, social species.
“The U.S.-German team of researchers also found that the cranes’ migratory performance improved over time….
“Nine years ago, the Necedah National Wildlife Refuge in the state of Wisconsin took a group of captive-bred whooping cranes and taught them their ancestors’ migration route.
“The birds followed the dulcet sounds of crane calls, which were emitted from a piloted ultra-light aircraft across nearly 1,500 miles of sky from Wisconsin to Florida.
“After the initial training, the whooping cranes began to migrate to and from their breeding grounds freely in groups.
“Researchers examined the data from these birds’ migration paths and found that the presence of older, more experienced birds helped the migratory group stay on a straight-line course.
“Moreover, the more frequently a crane flew the route, the straighter the line the crane took in following years.
“ ‘The research shows that learning of migration happens over many years and that social learning plays an important role as younger birds are able to learn from older birds,’ said Dr. Thomas Mueller, an ecologist at the University of Maryland and lead researcher on the project.”
Now aside from the fact I am installing the whooping crane at No. 56 on the All-Species List, what else does this tell you, boys and girls?
That whooping cranes, in their ability to go from Point A to Point B in an increasingly straighter line over the years, are far more intelligent than, say, the Tampa Bay Rays, witness their above migratory example. So Man remains mired at No. 298 on the ASL.
–We note the passing of Gus the polar bear, 27. Gus was a major attraction at New York’s Central Park Zoo since 1988. The median life expectancy for male polar bears in zoos is less than 21.
–Noah Graham, 16, of Solway, Minn., was lying outside his tent at a camp ground in rural Minnesota the other day when he suddenly felt something on his head.
“[I had] just no sense at all that it was there until it was actually on my head.”
It was a gray wolf that had approached him from behind and bit him in the back of his head.
“By the time Noah realized what was happening, the wolf had part of his head in its mouth. Noah reached back and used his own hands to pull his head free from the wolf’s jaws, leaving him with a four-inch gash in his head and deep scratches.”
Amazingly, the wolf eventually ran away, and was later caught and killed. Poor Noah is receiving rabies shots as the wolf is tested for rabies as well.
It was the first documented wolf attack in the state of Minnesota.
–The Wall Street Journal’s Alexandra Wolfe had a story on Monty Python’s Michael Palin, who has a new travel book, “Brazil.” Since the final Monty Python movie was released in 1983, Palin has traveled the globe, turning his trips into television series or books. I loved his BBC series, shown in the States, “Around the World in 80 Days.” If you were too young to see it, find the videos. It’s terrific. [Might have to track down a video set myself.] “Brazil” is going to become a PBS series. Palin isn’t all fun and games in these efforts, but of course his sense of humor is a constant.
What’s funny is that after all these years, he is still recognized in some bizarre places. In Siberia, “a group of Inuit elders escorted him down to an old fishing boat. The boat’s captain exclaimed, ‘Aren’t you the guy from Monty Python?’”
“Lately Mr. Palin has been talking to Mr. Cleese in hopes of bringing his fellow Python with him on his next trip. His plan is to plant Mr. Cleese at a café in an unexpected city such as Vladivostok, Russia, or La Paz, Bolivia, and casually walk in and say, ‘Hi John,’ to which his friend would respond with equal nonchalance, ‘Hi Michael,’ and the two would head into the city from there.”
–This product recall story is thankfully a funny one.
So imagine you are putting together a recipe requiring a can of chicken broth and open said can, only to find SpaghettiOs! “What the f—!” would be the only possible response.
Campbell’s Soup Co. labeled about 80 cases of cans, in case you have one, as Swanson “100% Natural Chicken Broth,” but it isn’t If I had one that turned out to be SpaghettiOs, maybe have your child do a little play-acting and claim Bobby suffers from a rare disorder called Spaghettinitis, where you are allergic to canned pasta crap.
It’s worth a try. See if you can pick up $1 million from Campbell’s, as they desperately scramble to track the cans down.
USA TODAY had a story on the “tastiest tacos across the USA.”
“At Chicago’s family-run Birrieria Zaragoza, goat is the name of the game. Namely, the roasted goat taco, or birria tatemada, based on a recipe that’s more than 100 years old. The goat is steamed for around five hours, then rubbed with an ancho chile-based red mole sauce before being roasted and served on house-made corn tortillas with fresh condiments including onion, cilantro, red salsa, and roasted chiles. You can request any part of the goat you like, but we suggest you go with the pistol, or shank. It’s juicy, tender and full of flavor, a bite worth seeking out if you’re even a passing fan of falling-off-the-bone meat. And who isn’t?”
–My word….did you see Kate Middleton the other day as she stepped back into private life, just five weeks after giving birth? She looks phenomenal.
—Krispy Kreme cheeseburgers are available at the Los Angeles County Fair. Just sayin’.
–What would you do? Republican New York City mayoral candidate Joe Lhota got into all kinds of hot water for saying he would not have shut down the subway line for two hours while workers searched for two kittens that had been frolicking on the tracks.
Lhota said it was better to keep the trains running than worry about the felines, Lhota happening to be a dog lover. He said he was stunned officials killed power to the B and Q lines during the rescue effort. The kittens are fine. No comment from your editor.
Top 3 songs for the week 9/6/75: #1 “Rhinestone Cowboy” (Glen Campbell…not my favorite of his…partial to “Wichita Lineman” and “By the Time I Get To Phoenix” …) #2 “Fallin’ In Love” (Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds… love this tune…) #3 “Get Down Tonight” (K.C. & The Sunshine Band…still touring…)…and…#4 “At Seventeen” (Janis Ian…brilliant…) #5 “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)” (James Taylor…he did better…) #6 “Jive Talkin’” (Bee Gees…dreadful…) #7 “Fame” (David Bowie… interminable…) #8 “Fight The Power, Part 1” (The Isley Brothers…not their best…) #9 “Could It Be Magic” (Barry Manilow…holding up pretty well…) #10 “One Of These Nights” (Eagles…in their top three…)
NFL Quiz Answer: The 2,000-yard club…
Eric Dickerson 2,105 (1984)
Adrian Peterson 2,097 (2012)
Jamal Lewis 2,066 (2003)
Barry Sanders 2,053 (1997)
Terrell Davis 2,008 (1998)
Chris Johnson 2,006 (2009)
O.J. Simpson 2,003 (1973)
Barry Sanders had the best, second-best season with 1,883 yards in 1994. And Sanders had the best follow-up to 2,000 in rushing for 1,491 in 1998.
