Baseball Quiz: 1) Who had the best control, career, lefthander,
since 1920? [Hint: He pitched for a New York team for most of
his career, and he is of somewhat recent vintage.] 2) Who had
the best control, career, since 1961, righthander? Answers
below.
Johnny Mac”s “What If?”
Let”s play a little ”what if?” Say that you are a general manager
of a new franchise and are given the following list of players
currently available to sign with your club. Tell me how pleased
you would be.
Player A: I am without doubt the premier pitcher around.
Owner of three Cy Young awards and numerous other honors, I
am not yet 30 and on my way to Cooperstown.
Player B: I am currently contending for a batting title for a team
in a pennant race and have been named to the all-star squad, my
fourth. A lifetime .300 hitter, I also had a monster World Series,
hitting 3 homers and driving in 9 as my team won. A solid
outfielder, only injuries have kept me from top-tier status. I have
twice finished third in the MVP race.
Player C: I have an MVP and 2 batting titles on my mantle and
am in the midst of another huge year. Viewed as a great all-
around player, I have 5 gold gloves and have stolen over 30
bases in a year. My 409 total bases in 1997 has been topped only
once since 1978.
Player D: Injuries have hampered my career, but at 28 I am
breaking out in a big way. In making my first all-star team, I am
batting over .340 with power. I have had seasons with 20
homers and 90 RBIs in the past, but I will shatter those marks
this season. The upside looks good for me now.
Player E: Slowing down some at 34, my resume includes 4 gold
gloves and 2 stolen base titles. A lifetime .280 hitter with a little
pop, I am a proven post-season success. Owner of an ALCS
MVP award, I once batted .444 in a World Series, posted 22 hits
in successive series (NLCS / WS), had 11 hits and 3 homers in a
4-game Division Series and own a career .328 post-season
average. Not too shabby, huh?
Player F: A quality player for a number of years, I am getting a
chance to play every day for a first-place club. A career .294
hitter with good speed, I am batting .300 this season with a .525
slugging average. I hit my share of doubles, and can even hit
some homers (high of 28). While not all-star quality, I can
certainly be a valuable contributor to a winning team.
Player G: Like many lefthanders, it took me awhile to find my
footing in the big leagues. After a storybook start (8-0 with a
2.73 ERA in half a season when I was a 22-year-old rookie), my
career was derailed by injuries. Given a chance in the rotation, I
have gone 63-40 the last 4+ years for a contending club.
Player H: A veteran lefty starter, I have had decent success over
the years, winning as many as 16 games before having a
miserable 1999 campaign. I have been reincarnated this year in
the bullpen, doing a great job for a first place club. Holding
down the closer”s role for an injured teammate early in the year, I
picked up 11 saves. Now I am the 8th inning guy, and seem very
well suited to the task, given my 2.48 ERA and 46 Ks in just 40
innings.
Player I: After years as a set-up guy out of the pen, I was finally
given a spot in the rotation in 1999. At the age of 33, I
responded with seasons of 13-8 and 15-11 for a division winner.
Player J: A solid bench player, I am a career .280 hitter with a
little pop. I made an all-star team early in the career, but never
quite lived up to that promise. Personal problems helped upend
my career, but I was able to come back and have been a good
contributor to a contending club. Not yet 30, I still have the tools
and could see myself fulfilling that early promise.
Player K: Owner of 330 career saves (7th all time) and a World
Series MVP award, I called it quits this year. For the opportunity
to play with this bunch, I just might make a comeback, seeing as
I am only 34.
Player L: I bounced around for 7 years as a set-up guy before
being given a shot at closing. I responded by saving 175 since
the start of 1997, even winning a Rolaids relief award.
Not a bad list, is it? One could do quite well fielding that club,
and filling in around them. There is pitching, hitting, speed,
experience.all the ingredients. I am sure some of these guys
are instantly recognizable, others not so, but let”s take a look at
who they are.
A – Pedro Martinez (duh)
B – Moises Alou
C – Larry Walker
D – Cliff Floyd
E – Marquis Grissom
F – Rondell White
G – Kirk Rueter
H – Jeff Fassero
I – Gil Heredia
J – Wil Cordero
K – John Wetteland
L – Jeff Shaw
OK, common bonds for $1,000, Mr. Trebek. They were all on
the roster of the ill-fated 1994 Montreal Expos. In first place
when the strike hit, this team never got a chance to shine in the
post-season and the next year began the dismantling process.
With the Expos slowly sinking into oblivion, I thought a look
back at what might have been was appropriate.
Editor Note: And here we are, Johnny Mac and I, in Montreal to
catch the Expos – Red Sox series. Just another one of my crazy
ideas. A full report on Wednesday. I”ll leave you with one
thought for now. The beer is pretty good!
Nigerian Scam
I first wrote about this a few weeks ago, the Nigerian letter scam.
Last week the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and the FBI led a
joint task force, which resulted in the arrests of a Canadian wing
of the global con job. Over 300 victims worldwide have been
taken to the cleaners for between $52,000 and $5 million.
As reported by James McCarten in the Canadian Press, “Victims
receive a letter, fax or e-mail from someone claiming to be a
Nigerian civil servant who has a legitimate claim to millions of
dollars resulting from ”grossly over-invoiced contracts.””
The victims are then told that Nigerian law prevents the civil
servants from holding offshore accounts, so, Mr. Sucker, if you
will provide us with your personal bank account information, we
will then forward you a large portion of the proceeds.
After forking over another $10,000, for “legal fees and
administration costs,” the perpetrators, posing as North American
merchant bankers working for the Nigerian central bank
(probably under the direction of Obuju Greenspan), contact the
victim to say the funds have arrived. Additional fees for taxes,
duties and other charges in the neighborhood of $50,000 are then
requested. The scam continues until the victim is wiped out.
Killer Vending Machine
Back in 1998, 21-year-old Canadian Kevin Mackle was
attempting to get a drink out of a vending machine when the
machine tipped over and killed him. Mackle”s family has just
announced a $665,000 lawsuit against Coca-Cola and two other
companies.
Now Mackle was shaking the machine when the accident
occurred, but, in an exclusive for StocksandNews, we have
obtained a copy of the audio tape (you never knew vending
machines were taping every transaction, did you?).
Mackle: [Muffled background noise, like of someone violently
shaking a vending machine.] “Why, you, no, good, lousy,
@#$%#$@.D”oh!!!”
But there is more to this story. According to the AP, this
particular type of machine was known for a defect that caused it
to tip over more easily than other models. And, “Although the
problem was well known, Coca Cola, Vendo and Beaver Foods –
the operator of the vending machine – did nothing to warn
consumers, the lawsuit said.”
Well that”s it! Beaver Foods! Don”t you see? There were
beavers inside this model of machine. The same animals that
have been damming up streams and ponds for centuries, causing
the evacuation of millions, have launched a new guerrilla
campaign. And for some reason the AP story has absolutely no
mention of this.
Tiger
Tiger Woods”s image is suffering big time in New Zealand. For
next January”s New Zealand Open, Woods is being paid a $2
million appearance fee, which has resulted in a huge increase for
the cost of a weeklong pass to the event, from $20.50 to $200.
Australian Peter O”Malley has joined New Zealand players
Michael Campbell and Greg Turner in threatening a boycott
unless the prices come down.
“While it”s great that Tiger is playing, it”s taking the average
spectator out of the equation,” said O”Malley. For his part
Campbell, the 2000 winner of the event, said the ticket prices
were “totally disgusting.”
Of more immediate concern should be the whole concept of
appearance fees for golfers. While they are standard practice at
most European PGA events, it is also a prime reason why the
European tour sucks right now. And as Johnny Mac and I have
warned in this space before, appearance fees ruined tennis. They
can ruin golf, as well, if they become standard practice. No word
from Woods as yet on the controversy.
Top 3 songs for the week of 7/13/63: #1 “Easier Said Than
Done” (The Essex) #2 “Surf City” (Jan & Dean) #3 “Tie Me
Kangaroo Down, Sport” (Rolf Harris)
Rick Reilly on Men”s Tennis
“The men hit 140-mph aces nobody can see, and then ask for a
towel. Everything is serve and towel, serve and towel. It”s like
being at a cocktail party with Boris Yeltsin.”
Baseball Quiz Answers: 1) Best control, lefthander: Fritz
Peterson – Walked just 426 in 2218 IP. 2) Best control,
righthander, since 1961: Juan Marichal – 709 walks in 3506
innings. Greg Maddux entered this season with 733 in 3318.
And for your information, the record for most consecutive
innings without giving up a base on balls is held by Bill Fischer,
who in 1962 while toiling for the Kansas City Athletics went 84
and a third innings without giving up a single walk. For that
year, Fischer, a spot-starter / reliever, issued only 8 free passes
in 128 innings. BUT, the guy was just 4-12 and allowed 150 hits,
while striking out only 38. For Fischer”s career, he was 45-58
with a 4.34 ERA.
Next Bar Chat, Wednesday. Why you should never attend a
baseball game in Montreal.
