NFL Quiz: Time to test the old memory. Which quarterback had
the most career passing yards in the following two combo”s of
contemporaries? (1) Frank Ryan, Bill Nelsen, or Milt Plum.
(2) Dan Patorini, Charley Johnson or Jim Plunkett. Answers
below.
Israel / Syria / Antietam
Recently, Sec. of State Madeleine Albright took the two leaders
of the Israeli / Syrian delegations to the Civil War battlefield of
Antietam (Sharpsburg, for those who hail from below the
Mason-Dixon Line). It brought back memories of my own
battlefield tour that I took in the spring of 1990. Antietam is
a beautiful spot and the history of the bloody battle that took
about 4,000 lives is a rich one. I won”t go into the battle in great
detail (next summer I”ll do my whole Civil War series), just
enough to set the scene and, also, supply a few historical
anecdotes.
2nd Battle of Bull Run (2nd Battle of Manassas)
A combination of Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee defeated
the Union General Pope on August 30, 1862, driving the Union
forces to Washington. The commander of Union forces, General
McClellan, then dismissed Pope and assumed command of the
Army of the Potomac himself. Writing his wife at the time,
McClellan said, “Again I have been called upon to save the
country.” [McClellan had a lot in common with Donald Trump.]
Meanwhile, Lee decided to move on north from Bull Run,
seeking foreign recognition of the Confederacy. He invaded
Maryland and headed for Pennsylvania. But Lee”s strategy was
uncovered when a Union soldier picked up a bundle of cigars and
discovered a secret order from Lee wrapped around them. The
paper ordered that Lee had divided his army, sending Jackson off
to Harper”s Ferry. Armed with this info, McClellan had an
opportunity to attack a poorly split, and vastly outnumbered,
force. Instead, as had been his modus operandi earlier in the
year, he sat still. [McClellan would have made a great marching
band director. His forces looked good on the parade grounds.]
Antietam
Lee was thus given time to reassemble his forces around
Antietam Creek. On September 17, McClellan attacked. With
the Confederate lines about to break, General A.P. Hill”s division
arrived from Harper”s Ferry, having marched 16 hot, dusty miles
to the battlefield. They bashed the Union left in a horrific battle.
A Union soldier reported, “No tongue can tell, no mind conceive,
no pen portray the horrible sights I witnessed this morning.”
Still outnumbered 2 to 1, the Confederates were able to force a
standoff in the bloodiest single day of the Civil War. Both sides
lost over 2,000 killed and 9,000 wounded.
McClellan, despite a huge advantage, didn”t follow up and
destroy the Confederates. On September 18, Lee”s forces slipped
back across the Potomac. Lincoln wrote his general, “If you
don”t want to use the army, I should like to borrow it for awhile.”
Not receiving a favorable reply, he sacked McClellan, sending
him to New Jersey for recruiting duty. As a Jersey resident, I”m
ashamed he even stepped foot in my state.
But Wait, There”s More…Allan Pinkerton
Allan Pinkerton was a Scots-born professional detective. During
Lincoln”s campaign for the presidency, Pinkerton organized his
protection, and undoubtedly frustrated at least one plot to
assassinate him. General McClellan had employed Pinkerton to
develop a system of army intelligence, part of which worked
behind Confederate lines with great success. This eventually
became the nucleus of the federal secret service.
When McClellan was relieved of his command, Pinkerton went
with him and the absence of Pinkerton”s thoroughness was the
reason why it proved so easy to murder Lincoln in 1865.
[Source: Paul Johnson, “A History of the American People.”]
*As a further aside, long-time viewers know that I once was a
Pinkerton security guard at the 1980 U.S. Open golf tournament
at Baltusrol (won by Jack Nicklaus). My job was to guard the
players parking lot. Each day, every player had to stop at my
post and check in. Each morning, Jack Nicklaus drove up and
promptly stared straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge my
“Good morning, Mr. Nicklaus.” And, forever after, not a kind
word has been written about the Golden Bear on this site.
[Of course, Arnold Palmer said hello each day…Arnie, My
Man!]
The Beaver
As promised, from Len McDougall”s “The Complete Tracker,”
comes the tale of the beaver. According to McDougall, “No
animal has more influenced the development of North America
than the beaver. Nature”s own construction worker, this (rodent)
changes the environment to suit its own needs, building dams to
insert large ponds in the middle of small streams and, as a side
effect, providing habitat for many other species.
“Fish that can”t live in fast-moving water are brought in as eggs
stuck to the feathers of waterfowl, themselves drawn to beaver
ponds to feed on aquatic plants that live only in still waters.”
Huhh. So what you have then, Len, is a total ecosystem?
“(Yup, you got that right). Mink and otters prey on muskrats
(and beavers) that live there, while deer and moose feed on the
lush vegetation in and around established ponds, themselves
attracting larger predators, from bobcats to bears and mountain
lions.” And on and on. No animal does more to sustain its own
environment than the beaver.
“Beavers have also had a real impact on the growth of
civilization in North America, and, because the first European
explorers had never seen an animal that could actually build
houses and forge a habitat suited to its needs, the first reports
sent back home were exaggerated, to say the least.”
Following is a report obtained through the Freedom of
Information Act by StocksandNews.com.
“Ya shudda seen this beaver…I was a sittin”on the bank of this
here pond and dadgummit, that darn beaver built a whole
townhouse complex before I awoke from my nap!”
–anonymous
Wrapping up our tale of the beaver, there actually were reports
that, as McDougall describes it, show beavers to be “intelligent,
near-human bipeds living together in villages on lakes they”d
created, with humanlike social structures that, according to some,
included beaver chiefs (and probably, princesses…added the
editor) wearing feather headdresses.”
By the way, if you are a vegetarian and planning a dinner party,
beavers are vegetarians, too. But put them at the kids table,
unless you want your fine, formal dining table chewed up.
Elian Gonzalez
My friend, Johnny Mac, commented that “It”s official…I”m now
completely and utterly Elian Gonzalezed out. The last life form
to get this kind of publicity before his 6th birthday was
Secretariat.” [The preceding statement does not necessarily
represent the view of StocksandNews.com…or maybe it does.]
Eddie “in the” House
Eddie House scored 61 points over the weekend in a double-
overtime victory by his Arizona State team over California. He
thus tied the Pac-10 scoring mark held by Lew Alcindor.
Alcindor (alright, Jabbar) scored 61 on 2/25/67. The only other
Pac-10 players to score 50 points in a game are Gary Payton and
Hank Luisetti. Just this past December 7th, House had gone 0-16
in a game against BYU.
Top 3 songs for the week of 1/13/62: #1 “The Twist” (Chubby
Checker…awful) #2 “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” (The Tokens…
Everywhere I turn, this song shows up…Aaghhh!)
#3 “Peppermint Twist” (Joey Dee & The Starlighters…and the
nation anxiously awaited the British Invasion).
Quiz Answers: (1) Milt Plum, 17,536 yards (1957-69); Frank
Ryan, 16,042 (1958-70); Bill Nelsen, 14,165 (1963-72).
(2) Jim Plunkett, 25,882 (1971-77, ”79-”86); Charley Johnson,
24,410 (1961-75); Dan Pastorini, 18,515 (1971-81, ”83).
Next Bar Chat, Friday. We may take a look at the Weasel. Then
again, we may not.
