Super Bowl Quizzes: 1) In SB XVIII, L.A. Raiders 38 –
Washington 9, who had a 74-yard TD run for L.A.? 2) SB XIX,
San Francisco 38 – Miami 16, who had 3 TDs for San Francisco?
3) SB XXV, Giants 20 – Buffalo 19, who were the two runners
who ran for 100 yards? 4) Between SB XXV (1991) and SB
XXVIII (1994), what other teams did Buffalo lose to aside from
the Giants? Answers below.
Gladiator
With the recent Golden Globe Award for Best Picture going to
“Gladiator,” I thought it might be appropriate to go back in time
(then again, it might not be appropriate at all) and take a look at
what life was really like back then. Recently, Lewis Lord had a
piece in U.S. News & World Report on the scene in the Year One.
Back then, Emperor Augustus, the adopted son of Julius Caesar
(not to be confused with Julius LaRossa) ruled Rome. In order to
keep the masses happy, Augustus would hold large festivals and
”ludi,” “the games in honor of the gods.”
Over 200,000 people would pack the Circus Maximus – a
significant number because this surpasses the total paid
attendance of the Montreal Expos for the last ten years – for the
purposes of watching the chariot races. And the citizenry would
get really fired up for the most popular scene – “a massive pile of
overturned chariots, and horses and maimed men – known as a
”shipwreck.””
Lord goes on to describe a day at The Forum which often began
with “wild-beast matches,” though the folks knew well ahead of
time which species would win. Writes Lord (with a little
commentary from yours truly):
“Packs of hounds always beat herds of deer (I think I just came
up with the solution for the deer problem in New Jersey), bears
withstood bulls, and lions usually finished off tigers (now how
many of you guessed that?) But not even the ferocious charge of
the rhinoceros could penetrate the thick hide of the elephant.”
You know what they say, elephant trunks all.
But after the animal show, it was time for animals vs. humans.
Very few (humans, that is) lived to fight another day. For most, it
was pretty gruesome. The Bestiarii – condemned criminals who
later would include Christian men and women – were thrown into
the arena with no training and no weapons. Most of the time the
animal of choice was a lion. Lord adds that many preferred
smaller animals “that did more dragging and tearing.” Perhaps a
ferret, or Bud and Peggy”s killer hamster that I wrote of recently.
[By the way, I forgot to add a footnote to the hamster story.
You”ll recall that Peggy was viciously attacked by their saber-
toothed rodent. Well, four days later, husband Bud asked Peggy
if the hamster had been fed. “No,” she is alleged to have hissed.]
Which brings us to more on our favorite animal here at Bar
Chat.
…Da Wolverine
Thanks to Harry K., and Greg Middleton of the National Post, we
have a further update on the meanest animal on earth.
Canadian biologist John Krebs recently sat down with Middleton
to discuss some personal experiences and tales he”s heard from
the wilds.
“We got one report from a bush pilot who saw a wolverine
attached to the nose of a caribou. The caribou was shaking it all
over the place but the wolverine wouldn”t let go.”
Krebs has also seen evidence, firsthand, that a wolverine had
snuck up on a sleeping moose, attacked it and eventually killed it.
And remember, the wolverine is only about 25 pounds. [Actually,
Krebs goes into some detail on the scene he encountered, but
even your editor needs to exercise some discretion here.]
The wolverine travels about 35 miles a day looking for food, or
the equivalent of going from Philadelphia to the Molly Pitcher
rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike.
And Krebs, who is involved in an effort to protect the last few
wolverines from extinction, has been traveling throughout British
Columbia, trapping and tagging the killers for research.
Reporter Middleton picks up the story.
“(Krebs) has to check the traps daily because the wolverine,
which he likens to a living chainsaw, will gnaw its way through
the logs (of the trap) in a few hours. He says the first time it is
trapped the animal will often cower in the back, but the second
time it”ll go straight for the throat.”
“It can be pretty exciting,” Krebs admits. “If you stuck your hand
in, all you would get back is the stump. They”ll charge at you like
a bear. It really gets your heart going.”
And speaking of bears, geezuz, guys, haven”t you slept enough?
[The editor needs fodder for Bear Chat.]
Pluto…Planet or hunk of rock?
Now I didn”t realize what you folks in Atlanta have been doing
but it seems as if the Rose Center, part of the Museum of Natural
History down there, has removed Pluto from the list of planets.
Evidently, this move was made fairly quietly some time ago but
word is beginning to spread of this heresy.
Pluto has been demoted to one of 300 bodies orbiting beyond
Neptune in a region called the Kuiper Belt. Now you baseball
fanatics will undoubtedly take note of this last bit because the
Kuiper Belt must have been named after former major leaguer
Duane Kuiper, who played from 1974-85. And what was
Kuiper”s chief claim to fame? He hit just one, count ”em, one,
home run in 3,379 at bats!
[I have just been informed that Duane Kuiper had nothing to do
with the naming of the Kuiper Belt. Never mind.]
Back to Atlanta, Dr. Richard Binzel of M.I.T. said, “They went
too far in demoting Pluto, way beyond what the mainstream
astronomers think.” Another astronomer in Boulder, CO said,
“It”s absurd.” Zut alors!!
Now the definitive body for items such as this, The International
Astronomical Union (based in Paris.oui oui) maintains that
Pluto is a planet. Though it can hardly be placed in the category
of “Gas Bags;” Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune.
And finally, who discovered Pluto?………..why
it was Clyde Tombaugh back on 2/18/30. And did you know that
Pluto is smaller than the Earth”s moon? Smaller even than Bill
Clinton”s ego? [Source: Kenneth Chang / New York Times, at
least for the facts.]
Indonesian Volcano…Thar She Blows!
Attention volcanologists. Mount Merapi, located on Indonesia”s
Java Island and about 250 miles from Jakarta, is the most volatile
of Indonesia”s 500 volcanoes, 129 of which are still active.
Merapi last erupted in 1994, killing 66. Back in 1930, an
eruption killed 1,300. Scientists have been warning hundreds of
thousands the past week or so to get ready…because Mount
Merapi is getting ready to blow again! [Granted, we here at Bar
Chat are not going to take any particular pleasure if it does…but
it does fill space!]
And high up on Merapi, a shaman is working his magic. The
villagers have sacrificed a chicken and made offerings of rice
(chicken a la shaman) as well as clothes to the volcano. I”m
assuming the clothes are Nike sweatshirts.
Bryant Gumbel
So it came to pass during Gumbel”s divorce proceedings this
week in Westchester County, N.Y., that Bryant had to agree to
his estranged wife”s demand that adultery be grounds for their
divorce. June Gumbel”s lawyer then said that Gumbel slept with
more than 50 women during his 27 years of marriage. June is
seeking half of Bryant”s estimated net worth of $20 million. He is
currently earning $7 million a year for hosting the “Early Show.”
$7 million!!!! For that piece of —-! Take him for everything,
June!
AP Flash.
This dispatch was in one of my papers this morning. In Natchez,
Mississippi, “the skeleton of a would-be burglar was found
lodged in the chimney of a gift shop, solving the case of a man
who disappeared in 1985.” The remains of one Calvin Wilson
were found by masons renovating the building in the city”s
historic district.
Now this is something Homer Simpson would do. Adams
County Sheriff Tommy Ferrell said that Wilson must have become
trapped while attempting to enter the gift shop through the
chimney. “Ferrell said it was likely that Wilson fell headfirst
inside the chimney, was injured and could not call for help.” Nor
did he have an opportunity to grab some scented soap and clean
himself up.
Rat Dreams
Erica Goode reports in Thursday”s New York Times that
scientists working with a group of rats who have been put
through a complex maze, have reached the conclusion that the
varmints have real dreams, specifically about the maze they were
learning to run.
Evidently, the findings are in the latest edition of Neuron, a
publication clearly not read by Calvin Wilson before he decided to
go down the chimney.
Casey Martin
As you may have seen, the U.S. Supreme Court has agreed to
hear the case of pro golfer Martin and his quest to be allowed to
use a golf cart, even though PGA Tour rules stipulate you can”t.
I”m not going to comment on this case but I”ll just leave a quote
from a lead editorial in the Washington Post on Wednesday.
“If the PGA had either a sporting sense of fair play or any public
relations savvy at all, this matter never would have been
litigated.”
Now discuss amongst yourselves.
Pokemon Cards
The New York Times had the story the other day that the
Pokemon craze is more than over. The rarest cards, which once
sold for $375, are now going for just $100 on eBay. Boxes of
Japanese cards that a year ago fetched $300 now sell for $80.
And 100 folks were laid off at the Hasbro division that publishes
the cards and operates specialty stores. Of course, I have no
personal interest in this whole matter, other than to make sure
that parents are learning an important lesson. Get your kids away
from this stuff, put on their snowsuits and say, “Now play!” as
you push them out the door. [Or you can do what my brother
does with his kids; send them to karate school so that they can
defend him when he”s old and feeble.]
Turning to more important matters, I picked up the latest issue of
Beckett”s Baseball Card Guide. You may be distressed to learn
that the value of a 1968 Johnny Bench rookie card, once about
$350 when he was first selected for the Hall of Fame, would now
fetch just $100, if you”re lucky. But the 1967 Topps Tom Seaver
rookie card would still get you $350+. No word on a 1966 Vic
Roznovsky. [Holy cow, I just noticed that Roznovsky was born
in Shiner, Texas.home of Shiner Bock Beer!! You”re reading
Bar Chat…]
Top 3 songs for the week of 1/22/72: #1 “American Pie” ( Don
McLean) #2 “Brand New Key” (Melanie) #3 “Let”s Stay
Together” (Al Green)
Super Bowl Quiz Answers: 1) SB XVIII, Marcus Allen had a
74-yard TD run. For the game Allen ran for 191 yards on 20
carries. 2) SB XIX, Roger Craig had 3 TDs for the 49ers (two
receiving, one rushing). San Francisco had 537 yards total
offense. 3) SB XXV, Thurman Thomas rushed 15 times for 135
yards. Ottis Anderson, 21 for 102. 4) Buffalo lost to Washington
37-24, and Dallas twice, 52-17 and 30-13. Simply awful games.
Next week on Bar Chat….Hockey Quiz Week, all week….whether
you asked for it or not.
