Baseball Quiz: 1) Who was the last AL pitcher to throw 10
shutouts in a single season? [The year was 1975] 2) Who was
the last NL pitcher to throw 10 shutouts in a season? [The year
was 1985] 3) Who threw 11 shutouts in the AL in 1964?
Answers below.
[I was just informed by the American Web Site Association that I
have not fulfilled my monthly requirement for “culture.” What
follows should suffice.]
The Impressions.
Or, rather, the “Impressionists.” The largest collection of
paintings of this genre in the world is at the Musee d”Orsay in
Paris. I haven”t been able to go see it until last week and it really
is terrific, if you”re into this kind of thing. By the way, the term
gains its name from a painting by Monet in 1874 titled
“Impression, Sunrise.” In Monet”s words, impressionists aimed
to create “a spontaneous work rather than a calculated one.”
Monet, Renoir, and Alfred Sisley (not to be confused with
Baseball Hall of Famer George Sisler) were among a small group
that initially set out to explore the possibilities of painting
outdoors and the effects of light on nature. Some of the others
that followed were Degas, Pissarro, Cezanne, Manet, Van Gogh,
and Gauguin. [Actually, to be anal about it, the latter two I think
fall more under the label “Expressionists.” Having just looked
this up, I can only think of Archie Bunker; “That”s crapola.”]
So I”m walking through this vast place, reacquainting myself
with my favorite, Camille Pissarro, and I began to think of that
solid pitcher from the 50s and 60s, Camilo Pasqual, “Little
Potato.”
Pasqual compiled a 174-170 lifetime mark with a 3.63 ERA,
despite playing 10 years with the awful Washington Senators.
In fact, in his first three full seasons (1955-57), Pasqual went
2-12, 6-18, and 8-17.or 16-47. He obviously recovered nicely
to finish with a career mark over .500. Camilo had back-to-back
20-win seasons with the Minnesota Twins in ”62-”63, going
20-11 and 21-9. But I digress.
One of the rooms of the museum is devoted strictly to Van Gogh,
with his famous “Starry Night,” which helped inspire the Don
McLean song “Vincent.” McLean, a struggling songwriter back
in 1970, read a book on Van Gogh and by ”72, his tribute to the
artist peaked at #12 on the Billboard charts. [Evidently, the
Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam still plays the tune as you
walk through the entrance.] There are also two Van Gogh self-
portraits, both of which you”d recognize, and I was struck by
how one of them really did look like Kirk Douglas.
But let me tell you what really got me about the place, the
friggin” photographers…yeah, that”s right, photographers!
Geezuz, the place was swarming with a-holes from around the
world. Now I”ve been to my share of art museums and I have
never seen people snapping pictures of paintings like this.
For starters, you are allowed to take pictures (why anyone would,
I can”t figure out), but “flashes” are obviously forbidden, in order
to protect these mostly priceless works of art. Nonetheless, there
were jerks all around taking flash pictures. “You can”t do that!”
I”d say. Then an attendant would come along (the same
attendants who struck the museum just three days earlier…but
showed up at work last Saturday because the weather sucked, I
guess) and tell the idiots the same thing, walk away, only to have
the criminals do it again.
And there were two guys who particularly irked me. One, a
Russian mob-like figure who had some super-duper digital
jobbie and he went, literally, painting to painting (there are
probably at least 1,000 in the place), snapping close-ups. Then
there was this other gentleman who would set up a tripod at the
more famous works, block the view for the rest of us chumps,
and take forever to get the proper photo. Of course, he needed a
license to do this. So an attendant would come by, ask for the
proper credentials, which he didn”t have, point him to the front
desk, only to have him turn up in another room where he would
eventually be booted again.
What were these photos going to be used for? Hell if I know.
Clearly, no idiot would buy them off eBay! [Actually, the world
being 45-47% idiot, maybe yes.] Or were these guys getting
super close-ups that you couldn”t get out of an art book, so that a
knockoff artist could more effectively reproduce the work and
then sell that on eBay? Regardless, this is what the death penalty
should be for.
Two other notes:
–“Whistler”s Mother” is in this museum. Boy, she”s a crotchety,
old lady.
–I don”t like Paul Gauguin”s later work, know what I”m sayin”?
Other Stuff
–“I”m like an expensive menu. You can look at it, but you can”t
afford it.” –Anna Kournikova. But it”s something to aspire to,
no?
–At an expensive restaurant in Paris, I ordered my beer and the
waiter brings the bottle, just opens it, and doesn”t pour even a
smidge in the glass, which would be the classy thing to do. So
he got a tip reduction. On the other hand, the best pour I ever
received was from a waiter in Oklahoma City, who would tip the
glass and pour the full beer, sans foam, without his hands
touching it! I”m tellin” ya, it was a thing of beauty. [So, of
course, I had to see the stunt repeated…again…and again.]
–Speaking of beer, the weather was awful in Paris but I felt
obligated to have one (or three) outside somewhere. So I ordered
a “Desperados,” a French brew. Boy, that was a mistake. On the
label it said “With the aroma of Tequila.” Ughh. All of these
awful memories from my youth came flooding back. I quickly
switched to Carlsberg.
–CNN International has this rather attractive weather girl, Femi
Oke. But, alas, Femi is not terribly bright. Following a report on
the selection of America”s new national tree (sorry, I forgot what
it is), the anchor switches it over to Femi for the weather. “What
a coincidence that they would select the tree today,” said Femi.
“It”s Arbor Day!” Good thing I wasn”t eating at the time. No
one would have been around to save me.
–The trial of the owner of Atlanta”s Gold Club is about to start.
[I think they are still in the jury selection phase.] We covered
this in the 3/19 Bar Chat. Steven Kaplan is accused of fronting
for the Gambino crime family, as well as setting up NBA
players, like Patrick Ewing, with prostitutes from the
establishment.
Kaplan”s indictment contains a mention of a 1997 incident where
he flew a group of women to Charleston, SC to perform a lesbian
sex show and have sex with members of an unnamed NBA team.
Of course, the team is the Knicks, who were in Charleston in
April of that year for a playoff training camp, and Charleston is
where the Knicks have held camps since 1991. In other words,
it”s going to be fun following this one! And NBA Commissioner
David Stern must be having nightmares.
–US News has the “Wonderlic” scores of some NFL players in
the current issue. The Wonderlic test is given to new draftees
each year, a 50 question, 12-minute affair. If you go to
usnews.com, they have 6 sample questions. Thankfully, I did
just fine, myself.
Anyway, the average US and NFL score is 22. Steve Young
tallied 33, while Vinny Testaverde had 18 (finally, a scientific
explanation for all the awful interceptions he throws), Deion
Sanders had 13, and QB Jeff George just 10.
Here is a sample question. Please don”t take too long.
The ninth month of the year is: 1. Oct. 2. Jan. 3. June 4. Sept.
5. May…….Do you need more time?
–Wohh: In Port St. Lucie, FL last Thursday, a jogger was
accosted by a Rottweiler. But Shane Powers was packing heat, a
.40-caliber Glock semiautomatic. He fired off three shots, one of
which hit the dog in the leg. [The dog lived.] Which got me
thinking. Back in the Cold War days, it would have been a nice
touch to arm the Olympic track athletes. Or how about those old
Hungary / USSR water polo matches you used to hear about,
where the pool would be red by the end of it?
–In last Sunday”s Telegraph (London), there was a story of a
young model, Fernande Olivier, who hung out with Picasso. The
paper had an extensive excerpt of her memoirs. I present a brief
passage.
“I”m supposed to be seeing Picasso tonight. He told me he has
been smoking opium at the house of some friends, but that he
was going to buy his own pipe, lamp and needle and a supply of
the drug and let me smoke some too. You lie on the dry mat
covering the floor as if it were a feather bed, you make sure the
stuff is within your reach and all you have to do is perform the
simple action required to reach the bamboo.
“It”s probably thanks to opium that I”ve discovered the true
meaning of the word ”love.”…I love to smoke opium, I love
Pablo.”
Oh brother. Get a life, Fernande.
[The excerpt is from “Loving Picasso: The Private Journal of
Fernande Olivier,” by Fernande Olivier and Marily McCully.]
Top 3 songs for the week of 5/4/63: “I Will Follow Him” (Little
Peggy March) #2 “Can”t Get Used To Losing You” (Andy
Williams) #3 “Puff The Magic Dragon” (Peter, Paul &
Mary…cough, cough…actually, this was NOT a drug song. Just
an awful children”s tale.)
Baseball Quiz Answers: 1) Jim Palmer went 23-11 with a 2.09
ERA to go along with his 10 shutouts in 1975. He won the Cy
Young Award. 2) St. Louis” John Tudor tossed 10 shutouts on
the way to his 21-8, 1.93 ERA in ”85. But Tudor lost the Cy
Young to Dwight Gooden, who had a cocaine-induced 24-4
season with his stupendous 1.53 ERA and 268 strikeouts. 3) In
1964, the Los Angeles Angels Dean Chance threw 11 shutouts in
compiling a 20-9, 1.65 ERA. Chance won the Cy Young, back
when there was just one award for the two leagues combined.
Next Bar Chat, Friday. A more in-depth look at Don McLean
and the controversy with the Dingoes of Australia.
