NFL Quiz: [We have to get some of these questions out of the
way before the season starts.] 1) Name the all-time top five
rushers? 2) Who is the only Hall of Famer who played his
college ball at Arkansas? [Hint: Wide receiver from the 60s and
70s.] Answers below.
First Top Twenty Song Quiz: Name the first Billboard Top
Twenty single for the following – The Rolling Stones, The
Ronettes, Linda Ronstadt, Rufus (Chaka Khan), Todd Rundgren,
Santana, Boz Scaggs, Bob Seger, The Shangri-Las, Bobby
Sherman, Carly Simon, Paul Simon, Simon & Garfunkel, Sly &
The Family Stone
More Tales from the Deep
As we plow through Richard Ellis”s “Encyclopedia of the Sea,”
I”m trying to come up with items that will wow your friends,
especially those at your local lobster shanty.
–Crab: The Tasmanian giant crab can weigh 30 pounds.
Japanese spider crabs measure up to 13-feet across. And because
they have no shell, hermit crabs aren”t classified ”crabs.” So
there.
–Cutlass fish: A shiny black 5-footer with a mouthful of sharp
teeth, the cutlass is a formidable predator at 1200 to 4000 feet.
–Deep-sea anglerfish: A fist-sized fish, “the parasitic males.
attach themselves permanently to the females and serve only as a
reproductive organ.” The eyes of both sexes then degenerate,
and adults go blind. It”s not known whether the anglerfish sets
up web cams. Let”s hope not.
–Dodo: This is a sad tale. Found only on the island of Mauritius
in the Indian Ocean, the dodo was a flightless, larger than a
turkey, bird, which weighed as much as 50 pounds and stood 3-
feet tall. Discovered in 1507, by 1681 the dodo was extinct,
killed by settlers, as well as being the victim of other species
which had been introduced on the island and proceeded to eat the
dodos” eggs.
–Jules Sebastien Cesar Dumont D”Urville: French naval officer
and explorer who discovered a beautiful statue on the Greek
island of Melos. The Louvre later acquired it, at which point it
became known as…the Venus de Milo. This same man landed
on the Antarctic in 1840 and named the place after his wife,
Terre Adelie. Yes, the same origin for the Adelie penguin. And
now you know.the rest of the story.
–Elephant seals: The male can weigh up to 4 tons (about 8,000
pounds), and reach a length of 20 feet. “Males fight viciously for
dominance over a harem of females.” I”ve always said, guys, if
you”re checking out the action at a bar and you see an elephant
seal wobble in, go out the back door, immediately.
–Robert FitzRoy: This British naval officer is best known for
sailing around with Charles Darwin on the Beagle. But FitzRoy,
a meteorologist, also devised a storm warning system that was
the precursor to our daily forecasts. It has long been rumored
that he committed suicide after an incorrect call.
–Flounder: Now I”m not a big fisherman, but I”m embarrassed I
didn”t know this. The flounder is hatched like any other fish,
with an eye on each side of its head. But within a few days the
flounder begins to lean to one side.when suddenly.wohhh.
doh! Lying on the sand, the eye on the underside then begins to
migrate across the head, so that when it flattens out, both of them
are on the top surface. [Something tells me you”re all saying,
how the heck didn”t the editor already know this?]
–Flying Dutchmen: The legend of the “ghost ship” came about
as a result of a Dutch captain named Vanderdecken, who, having
cursed God for his failure to round the Cape of Good Hope, was
doomed to sail forever, while his crew cries out for help. The
Flying Dutchmen is though to haunt the waters of South Africa,
and if you see it, you”re doomed.
–Forceps fish: A common butterfly fish, it gets its name from its
elongated snout. However, at some point in time, most first-year
interns make the same mistake when a doctor asks for the forceps
during surgery. “Geezuz, not those forceps!”
–Fugu: I”m sure you all know about the poisonous fugu (puffer)
fish, popular among Japanese diners. The liver, gonads and
intestines are highly toxic and you need a trained chef to prepare
what is supposed to be a tasty meal (though you”ll never get me
trying it). If the fish isn”t properly prepared, you might die.
“Symptoms include tingling of the mouth, motor incoordination,
and overall numbness…followed by excessive salivation,
weakness, nausea, vomiting, convulsions, and death.” Like I
said, I”ll pass.
–Galapagos tortoise: This endangered creature can weigh as
much as 500 pounds and live for 150 years. The treatment of
them by explorers over the course of history has been deplorable.
If they were just a little faster they could kick some ass.
–Giant clam: Found in the waters of the Great Barrier Reef,
these can also weigh more than 500 pounds and go almost 5-feet
across. Speaking of the Great Barrier Reef, it is 1,250 miles
long.
–Giant octopus: Found in the northern Pacific, it has an armspan
of 16-feet, but, despite mythology, there has never been a report
of an octopus attack on a human. Nonetheless, if you see one at
your door, selling chocolate bars or something, don”t open it
even a crack. Another reason, also, to always lock the screen
door.
–Giant squid: Ah yes, architeuthis. With a known length of 57-
feet, no one has ever seen a healthy, living giant squid. We
know of them because from time to time one will beach itself,
particularly in New Zealand.
–Great white shark: Can reach a length of 21-feet and weigh
more than 3 tons.
–Grouper: In Australia, the grouper is spelled “groper.” This is
another public service message for you guys out there, in
particular. Be careful when ordering the fish in Sydney.
–Leopard seal: This is a vicious creature. The leopard seal
mostly feeds on penguins, which it devours by first grasping it in
its powerful jaws, then shaking the poor birds out of their skin.
The only animal powerful enough to kill a leopard seal is the
killer whale. Which reminds me, I”ve always found it to be a
good idea to make friends with your neighborhood killer whale.
Something to keep in mind.
–Lesbos: The 3rd largest island in Greece. In the early 6th
century B.C., the poet Sappho, an interesting babe, wrote mostly
passionate love poetry.for women, thus the term ”lesbian.”
–Louvar: A 6-foot-long, silvery-pink fish that lives in deep
waters, this fish produces an enormous number of eggs. In fact
one was once found with an estimated 47.5 million. Too bad
they weren”t Faberge.
Dr. George Grant
Quick…who invented the golf tee? Well, back in 1899, an
African-American from Oswego, NY did. Dr. George Grant was
a Harvard-trained dentist who sought to come up with a better
way of teeing up a golf ball. Before his invention, golfers
pinched damp sand into a launching pad. Not only was it tedious
and messy, but the practice obviously wasn”t real consistent
either. So Grant rectified the situation. As the patent reads, “a
rigid base portion and an attached flexible head, the base being
preferably made of wood and tapering to a point at its lower end
to be readily inserted in the ground.on which the ball rests as in
a cup.when the ball is struck, the head will yield in the
direction of the travel of the ball, offering no obstruction to its
flight.”
But Grant never marketed the device, and after his death in 1910,
people forgot about the invention. Then along came another
dentist (now you know how all those jokes started), Dr. William
Lowell of Maplewood, NJ. He patented his golf tee in 1925,
after convincing the great Walter Hagen to use them in an
exhibition. Called the “Reddy Tee,” Lowell sold it to A.G.
Spalding, which initially bought a whopping 24 dozen. By 1925,
profits were in excess of $100,000, but then competitors moved
in (using prison labor) and Lowell never received his hoped for
windfall. And in 1991, the USGA officially recognized Dr.
Grant as the rightful inventor. [Source: Peter McDaniel / Golf
Digest]
Stuff
–Cal Ripken has now homered in every road park the Orioles
have played in since the All-Star break; Atlanta, Florida, Texas,
Anaheim and Kansas City.
Top 3 songs for the week of 8/12/67: #1 “Light My Fire” (The
Doors) #2 “All You Need Is Love” (The Beatles) #3 “I Was
Made To Love Her” (Stevie Wonder)
First Top Twenty Song Quiz Answers (with peak chart position)
The Rolling Stones – Time Is On My Side 11/64 #6
The Ronettes – Be My Baby 9/63 #2
Linda Ronstadt – You”re No Good 1/75 #1
Rufus – Tell Me Something Good 7/74 #3
Todd Rundgren – We Gotta Get You A Woman 12/70 #20
Santana – Evil Ways 2/70 #9
Boz Scaggs – Lowdown 8/76 #3
Bob Seger – Ramblin” Gamblin” Man 1/69 #17 (kind of a
trick question since this was with the Bob Seger System)
The Shangri-Las – Remember (Walkin” in the Sand) 9/64 #5
Bobby Sherman – Little Woman 9/69 #3
Carly Simon – That”s The Way I”ve Always Heard It Should Be
6/71 #10
Paul Simon – Mother & Child Reunion 2/72 #4
Simon & Garfunkel – Sounds Of Silence 12/65 #1
Sly & The Family Stone – Dance To The Music 3/68 #8
NFL Quiz Answers: 1) Top 5 rushers: Walter Payton (16,726),
Barry Sanders (15,269), Emmitt Smith (15,166), Eric Dickerson
(13,259), Tony Dorsett (12,739). 2) Lance Alworth is the only
Arkansas grad to make it to the Hall of Fame. Alworth played
for San Diego and Dallas from 1962-72, catching 542 passes for
an 18.9 avg. [With Arkansas” tradition, I just found this
amazing.]
Next Bar Chat, Monday.
