Baseball Quiz: [Again, we’re trying to get all the basic all-time
records out of the way before the season starts.] 1) Cy Young
started 818 games, but #’s 2-6 on the all-time list, all with 700 or
more, are from the modern era (and pitched at least some in the
60s and 70s). Name ‘em. 2) Walter Johnson is #1 with 110
career shutouts, followed by Grover Alexander with 90. But #’s
7-9 had 60 or more and pitched at least some in the 70s and 80s.
Name ‘em. Answers below.
Brian Wilson’s Unfinished Work
In the history of “What Ifs?” many of us Beach Boys fans can
only wonder what the final product would have been like had
Brian Wilson finished his ‘Smile’ project, the follow-up to ‘Pet
Sounds’ (regarding the latter, see Bar Chat archives, 9/8/00).
Wilson’s idea for ‘Smile’ came to him during the making of ‘Pet
Sounds’ and he began work on it in January 1967. [The original
title was actually ‘Dumb Angel.’] ‘Pet Sounds’ had been
eclipsed on the album charts by the Beatles’ ‘Revolver,’ but there
was no doubt that the Beach Boys’ effort was one of the greatest
albums of all time. Brian Wilson was at the peak of his creative
power.
But it was also a time when Brian was losing his marbles, and
during the ‘Smile’ sessions the increasingly reclusive, drug-
addled genius had the 8 truckloads of sand placed in his living
room to recreate the beach, so he wouldn’t have to venture out to
the real thing. With his piano in the middle of his giant sandbox,
he set to work.
Of course he still had to go out if he was going to get into the
recording studio, though he was known to cancel sessions simply
due to “bad vibes.” Eventually, he did make it to about 50,
which included the likes of Glen Campbell and Leon Russell.
[The rest of the Beach Boys were touring; while Brian was
producing ‘Pet Sounds’ they were in Asia, for ‘Smile’ it was
Europe.]
The reason why I’m even going on about ‘Smile’ is because the
big mystery to this day is what happened to a lot of the studio
work? Bits and drabs have stumbled out, like on the Beach
Boys’ ’93 boxed set, and now that Wilson, himself, is touring
again, he occasionally reveals a tune or two. As Elvis Costello
said in frustration, “You have Vienna scholars pouring over
transcripts of what Mozart wrote 200 years ago and yet it’s
impossible to get hold of a proper version of ‘Smile.’”
Writing for Mojo magazine, Rob Chapman notes that 70% of the
tracks were completed or near completion and that ‘Smile’ was
not the incoherent mess that many say it was. For example, one
of the tunes that survived is “Heroes And Villains,” released as a
single during the time ‘Smile’ was being put together. Chapman
says of this work, “To hear ‘Heroes And Villains’ stripped to its
Bach-meets-barbershop raga roots is to understand just how
perfectly released every single component was within a Brian
Wilson composition.” [Regardless, the tune only reached #12.]
Rumors of what was going on in the studio, and at Wilson’s
sandbox piano, were rampant during the months that ‘Smile’ was
in production. Actually, the album was to contain “Good
Vibrations,” much to Wilson’s chagrin because he didn’t feel it
would fit, the tune having been previously released after the
completion of ‘Pet Sounds.’ Wilson was overruled.
As the months ground on, however, it was increasingly clear that
‘Smile’ wouldn’t see the light of day. The Beach Boys returned
from Europe and at first Brian was anxious to involve them, but
Mike Love, in particular, became downright hostile, thinking the
project wasn’t right. Love also had a major battle with Brian’s
new guru / lyricist, Van Dyke Parks, and Parks soon left to focus
on his own solo work (which sucked).
And so it was that on May 18, 1967, Brian Wilson officially
called off any further work on what he had once labeled “a
teenage symphony to God.” Two weeks later the Beatles
released ‘Sergeant Pepper,’ perhaps the single greatest rock
album.
Chapman writes that as more of the ‘Smile’ sessions become
available (unfortunately, the superstitious Wilson was alleged to
have destroyed many of the master tapes due to a series of local
fires, while he was working on a tune of the same name). “It
becomes obvious…that a complete ‘Smile’ would have been an
album of stunning originality and peerless complexity…Disney
to doo wop, Gershwin to God.”
Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins once said, “(Wilson) was
literally trying to take Mark Twain into rock ‘n’ roll, and he
almost got there.”
Eventually, the Beach Boys released parts of ‘Smile’ on their
effort ‘Smiley Smile,’ which included “Heroes And Villains” and
“Good Vibrations.” As author Timothy White relates:
“No Beach Boys album ever had more advance publicity, and the
appetite it whetted among eager fans for a full-length epic the
equal of ‘Good Vibrations’ was tremendous. Some devotees
even tried calling the pressing plants to obtain an early copy.
Released on September 5, 1967, ‘Smiley Smile’ would be the
poorest chart showing to date of any Beach Boys album, rising
no higher than #41 (though #9 in the U.K.). The trite, stillborn
tracks heard on vinyl were taken by many true believers to be a
veritable slap in the face.” [It also didn’t help that the innocent-
looking, cartoon-Gaughuin cover-art led many, less fanatic
consumers to assume the group had made an album for children.]
Lastly, for you trivia fans out there, following are what the
original ‘Smile’s’ cuts were to have been.
“Old Master Painter,” “Surf’s Up,” “The Grand Coulee Dam,”
“Who Ran The Iron Horse,” “You Are My Sunshine,” “Our
Prayer,” “Bicycle Rider,” “Cabin Essence,” “Heroes And
Villains,” “Indian Wisdom,” “You’re Welcome,” “Holidays,”
“Barnyard,” “Child Is Father Of The Man,” “I’m In Great
Shape,” “Wind Chimes,” “Wonderful,” and “The Elements
Suite,” which consisted of “Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow (from the
Fire),” “Vega-Tables (from the Earth),” “Good Vibrations (from
the Air)” and “I Love To Say Dada (from the Water).”
Now that he’s back in the public eye, Brian Wilson teases his
fans from time to time, pretending that he will finish ‘Smile.’ I
wouldn’t count on it, but then again, who would have thought
that he would be the lone, surviving Wilson brother?
[Note: In addition to Chapman’s article, the other primary source
for this piece was Timothy White’s “The Nearest Faraway
Place.”]
Stuff
–So I’m reading this review in the Weekly Standard by Tracy
Lee Simmons of a new book, “Debrett’s New Guide to Etiquette
& Modern Manners” by John Morgan and in case you were
wondering…
Regarding children and weddings: “If you find no mention of
family on the invitation, assume that your child isn’t welcome
and that’s an end to it. Find a sitter or stay home.” And…
“ ‘Cocktail party eyes,’ i.e., glancing obviously over your
companion’s shoulder, to spy who else is at the party, are rude
and hurtful.” I know you already knew this, but I’m still
perplexed as to what to do if J. Lo walks in? Well?
–Of course J. Lo is not likely to be attending any parties at
Jayson Williams’s mansion anytime soon. Sports Illustrated is
reporting that Williams tampered with evidence after he
“accidentally” shot his limo driver. As they say in Crime 101,
this is getting serious, folks. Like 30 years serious. Witnesses
say that Williams was attempting to place the victim’s palm and
fingerprints on the gun and he also supposedly threw out his
bloody clothes before the cops came over. Let’s see, NBC once
had O.J., then Marv (though we love Marv), then Williams. I’m
thinkin’ Bob Costas ‘offs’ someone soon.
–Speaking of dirtballs, in a Newsweek piece written by Johnnie
L. Roberts and Evan Thomas, we learn further details about
Enron and Treasures, a Houston “gentleman’s club.” It would
appear that Enron traders (the male ones that is) made it a habit
to take their lunch breaks at Treasures, buying a bottle of Cristal
and repairing to the “VIP Room.” Said one stripper, “If a guy’s
going to pay you $1,000, use your imagination.” [Kids, don’t
use it…go play in the yard.]
And there is the story of Jeff Skilling, who you might have seen
got married this past weekend, I’m assuming to the former Enron
secretary whom he got involved with after divorcing his first wife.
Now according to Newsweek, Skilling then paid the lucky lady
$600,000 for a new job at the company. Actually, the mysterious
top executive, Lou Pai, divorced his wife to marry a former
stripper. What? You expect me to comment further? Ain’t
gonna do it…wouldn’t be prudent.
–Harlan Howard, RIP. This great friend of Waylon Jennings has
joined him upstairs, having passed away at 74. Howard was one
of the most prolific songwriters in country music history. In
1961 he had 15 on the Billboard country charts at once, still a
record. Among his many masterpieces were Patsy Cline’s “I Fall
To Pieces,” Ray Charles’s “Busted,” “Heartaches By The
Number” for Ray Price (get Price’s greatest hits, you won’t be
disappointed) and a tune co-written with Buck Owens, “I’ve Got
A Tiger By The Tail.” In more recent years he wrote “Why Not
Me?” for The Judds. Howard once commented that the
definition of country music was “Three chords and the truth.”
Top 3 songs for the week of 3/7/70: #1 “Bridge Over Troubled
Water” (Simon & Garfunkel) #2 “Travelin’ Band / Who’ll Stop
The Rain” (Creedence Clearwater Revival) #3 “Thank You
(Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) / Everybody Is A Star” (Sly &
The Family Stone)
–Harry K. remarked the other day that he couldn’t believe how
much Michael Jackson looks like Diana Ross, but, come to think
of it, having seen Janet Jackson at the Grammys, doesn’t she
look like Marie Osmond? Well?
–I’ve been listening to “The Essential Johnny Cash.” It’s great.
Buy it. Actually, on the liner notes, a number of artists wish
Cash a happy 70th birthday. Here is Bono’s tribute:
“Locusts and honey…not since John The Baptist has there been a
voice like that crying in the wilderness. The most male voice in
Christendom. Every man knows he is a sissy compared to
Johnny Cash.”
Baseball Quiz Answers: 1) Career starts: #2 – Nolan Ryan, 773
#3 – Don Sutton, 756 #4 Phil Niekro – 716 #5 Steve Carlton –
709 #6 Tommy John – 700. [Gaylord Perry had 690] 2)
Shutouts: #7 – Nolan Ryan and Tom Seaver with 61 #9 – Bert
Blyleven, 60.
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday. Something from Washington, D.C.,
depending on wherever the wind blows me.
