U.S. Men’s Open Golf Quiz: 1) Who was the only foreigner to
win in the 1980s? 2) What European finished 2nd to Ernie Els in
1994 and 1997? 3) How many years were there between Hale
Irwin’s 1st and 3rd Open titles? 4) Who are the only 4-time
winners? Answers below.
Animal Chat
Well, despite the “dirty bomb” suspect being arrested Monday, I
see no reason why we can’t work our way back to what “Bar
Chat” was supposed to be all about in the first place; sports,
music (I’ll do more stories, shortly), and ”Animal Adventures for
$40”. To wit…
–I come back from my European adventure to see that the New
Jersey black bear count I have been giving you is probably
wrong. In just 3 years, game officials now believe the population
has grown from 1,000 to 1,900! They say the ideal number is
more like 500. Now former Governor Christie Whitman is the
one who nixed the renewal of bear hunts, but it would appear that
more than ever we need them. [So to my out of state hunting
friends, lock and load…and get your licenses…it’s coming.]
Otherwise, the way I see it, the bears are going to be competing
for some of the condo units that keep going up in our open
spaces, making them less affordable for other first time buyers.
–Johnny Mac passed along the tale of the elephant herd in
India’s Assam state, which has been wreaking havoc on local
villages as it searches for, yes, beer.
The elephants are particular for “rice beer.” Said one wildlife
official, “Elephant herds have taken a fancy to drinking it after
entering tea garden labour colonies.”
Of course the elephants get totally wasted and have smashed
homes and such. I’ve always said, there’s nothing worse than a
drunk elephant. Actually, 100 people were trampled to death by
the elephants in Assam alone in 2001. Which brings up another
point; never get in an argument with one, especially over
something like the World Cup.
–Then there is the story I came across the other day in the
Financial Times concerning the killer cane toad of Australia.
Bufo marinus, as it’s known in the scientific community, has
invaded the popular Kakadu National Park. This is no ordinary
toad, that’s for sure. It’s poison is so venomous it can kill a
freshwater crocodile within half an hour.
Of course officials are afraid that it could change the makeup of
Kakadu forever, the park being home to 60 kinds of mammal and
280 bird species.
Weighing a kilo or more (over 2 lbs.) and at up to 8 inches in
length, the cane toad was introduced by Europeans in the 1930s
as a way to control the beetle population that was destroying the
sugar cane crop. Well, they couldn’t lick the beetles (who hid in
the trees) because the toads were too heavy to jump off the
ground, so they did what all species do when they can’t jump real
high…and that is mate. [I realize the preceding made absolutely
no scientific sense, but we have deadlines to meet, you know.]
Anyway, the first 100 were introduced in 1935 and it is estimated
they multiplied to 60,000 in just six months. [Geez, at this rate
they should be building a bridge to New Zealand.] But,
according to the report by Virginia Marsh, “The optimists say
that past experience suggests native populations start to rebuild
within five years as animals become aware of the danger.” Hah.
–Last, but not least, in the world of horses, you had War
Emblem’s performance on Saturday. Disgraceful, if you ask me.
That horse was so damn cocky and then he couldn’t even get out
of the gate. But you have to feel great for Sarava’s trainer, Ken
McPeek. I mean here the guy gets fired after finishing 7th and 4th
in the Derby and Preakness with Harlan’s Holiday and he pulls
off the biggest upset in Belmont history. Incidentally, the
attendance at Belmont was 103,000…a full 18,000 over the
previous record… and the event drew the highest television
rating for any horse race since 1992. So here’s hoping it helps
resurrect the sport, even with the disappointing result.
As for Prince Ahmed bin Salam, War Emblem’s no-show owner,
I’m saving my comments for the coming “Week in Review.”
Saudi intelligence will have more to add to my file, after we’re
through with him.
Random Stuff
–The following tidbit is for PGA golf fanatics only, but is Pat
Perez the biggest asshole you ever did see or what? At
yesterday’s Buick Open he couldn’t have been more of a jerk and
I give David Gossett (and his sister toting the bag) a ton of credit
for laughing off Perez’s boorish behavior.
–I saw that my college classmate Gary Hallberg won a Buy.com
event two weeks ago. Hallberg was part of my Wake Forest
class of 1980, a 4-time All-American, rookie of the year on the
tour the summer of 1980, 3-time tour winner, and then, poof, his
career was over. Actually, Hallberg was the first to admit using
drugs while on tour and many of us have always thought, what
an incredible waste of talent. Well, it would be great to see him
come back and I’m assuming he’s hoping to get back to the big
tour by way of earning a Buy.com exemption. [Phil W., correct
me if I’m wrong.]
But bringing up Hallberg is also an excuse to relate that he got a
‘C’ in a calculus class I was taking with him at Wake, while I
received a, err, mark lower, if you catch my drift. He was never
there, though! Drat. You see, at Wake, at least back then, it
wasn’t the football or basketball players who got the breaks with
the grades, it was the golfers. That’s alright. I didn’t deserve
any breaks of my own, that’s for sure.
–Speaking of Wake Forest, fellow alum Jimmy D. has
questioned Aerosmith’s true first top ten, as well as my source.
Sorry, Jimmy D., “Dream On” really was a #6 song in 1976, but
“Sweet Emotion” actually never charted higher than #36 (it came
out a year earlier).
My source for all such findings is Billboard’s own “Top 40
Hits”, as well as Joel Whitburn’s “Billboard Top 10 Charts.”
*And note to Dan D. in Honolulu. Stay tuned, my friend. I just
picked up Whitburn’s “Pop Hits 1940-54”. You will be tested.
[Poor Dan. He’s having trouble with the 60s and 70s quizzes.]
–Phil W., a Jersey boy and former N.Y. Rangers fanatic
transplanted down in Carolina, has been having fun watching all
you North Carolina folks get excited over the Hurricanes. So
Phil wrote me the following last week.
“I just figured out why they are starting to like hockey so much
down here. I think their favorite part is the beginning of each
period when the players skate around in circles….because it’s
just like NASCAR! They even skate in the same direction.
“They also like the fact that the players are always changing
lines. Kind of like a pit stop, isn’t it? They also like it when
those cars, err, I mean players go bouncing into the walls, err,
boards.”
What was kind of funny is that the Greensboro News & Record
had a piece echoing some of these thoughts just 3 days after Phil
passed his along.
–Am I the only one who has a problem with Drazen Petrovic
being selected for the Basketball Hall of Fame? Now I realize
this is sacrilegious, Petrovic having played his best, and last, ball
for the New Jersey Nets, but, after all, he averaged 20+ points
per game in just 2 of his 4 seasons, before he decided to drive a
little too fast on the autobahn, guaranteeing a ticket to heaven.
Frankly, this kind of stinks. You can’t just assume that at age 28,
he was destined to have six or seven more super seasons, which
even then may not have been a ticket to the Hall. That’s just my
opinion, I could be wrong.
–I can’t believe Barry Bonds is already up to 588 home runs.
We all should be praying he doesn’t get to 660 and Willie Mays,
let alone going beyond that. For you out-of-towners, you should
have seen his press conference before the Yankee series got
going this weekend. Geezuz, he’s an ass. But then he did say he
would favor mandatory testing for steroids. Easy to do this when
there is no imminent threat of it happening.
And having gone back and read some of the steroid articles from
Sports Illustrated (I missed the full text while I was away),
former player Chad Curtis said that when you take one of the
more popular drugs, your head shape changes, with the clue
being that when you see a player’s helmet sitting more on the top
of the head, not over the ears, that’s a sign he’s a user. So next
time you take your kid to the game, bring the binoculars rather
than the glove, and have Bobby or Susie help you with the
research.
In a New York Times op-ed piece over the weekend, Alan
Schwarz had the following comment about Ken Caminiti and his
contribution in SI to the steroid debate.
“The day after his admission broke, Caminiti backtracked,
sounding as if he’d just found a horse’s head in his bed.”
–Boy, I’m really out of the loop this year. Who is this A.J.
Pierzynski fellow on the Minnesota Twins who’s hitting .330?
Well, let’s look him up in the ol’ Baseball Register and, holy
cow, this guy was good last year! I’m tellin’ ya, there are just
too many teams and players to follow these days.
–Us Mets fans are rather despondent. Mo Vaughn now weighs
twice his batting average.
–Speaking of Bonds’s first visit to Yankee Stadium this
weekend, you could win some serious money on the question;
what visitor has hit more career home runs at the house that Ruth
built? Goose Goslin with 32. Mickey Vernon is 2nd at 31. Hall
of Famer Goslin had 248 HR and 1,609 RBI for his career (1921-
38). Vernon ‘only’ hit 172 (1939-60). I also thought it was kind
of interesting that Harmon Killebrew had just 22… which, of
course, makes sense because the fences for righties were
absolutely outrageous during his playing days.
–If you’re watching the World Cup, the only way to do it is
through Univision. I caught the second half of the Turkey –
Costa Rica game Sunday, an awesome contest, and when Costa
Rica tied it at one…Gooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllll!!
[So much for my pick of Poland as “sleeper.” Yes, we are USA
fans around here, but I feel guilty jumping on the bandwagon
now, so I won’t.]
–Herman Cohen died the other day at age 76. Cohen was the
former movie usher who later became a producer for American
International Pictures. The result? “I Was a Teenage Werewolf”
and “I Was a Teenage Frankenstein,” among others.
Cohen realized that in the 1950s, 72% of the movie audience was
between the ages of 12 and 26, so he made pictures to meet the
demands of this market.
Of course the 1957 “Werewolf” represented the film debut of
one Michael Landon. Produced for just $100k, the film grossed
over $2 million.
–In going through some of my magazines from two weeks ago, I
saw a Business Week article that should totally gross you all out.
Your desktop is 400 times dirtier than a toilet seat.
Yes, that’s right, boys and girls. A University of Arizona
researcher took 7,000 samples from workstations around the
country.
For example, a phone receiver has 25,000 bacteria per square
inch; 21,000 for a desktop; and just 50 for the average toilet seat.
Why? Well, most people just take a wet towel and wipe up their
desktops and that only spreads it around (Shoot! That’s what I
do!), while the office toilet seat is disinfected. [Oh Lu-cy!]
–You’ll have to forgive the following, but I went to the Military
Museum in Vienna last week and it was fascinating. The
exhibits were outstanding and so I walk into one room and there
is an old car. No, I thought, it can’t be. It was! The very car in
which Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife were riding in
when they were murdered in Sarajevo on June 28, 1914. Of
course this precipitated World War I. They also have his full
uniform, bloodstains and all. Now that’s what I call a museum.
Actually, did you know that at the Battle of Stalingrad in World
War II, 30,000 Austrians died? 90,000 were also taken prisoner,
of which only a handful ever returned. Of course they were on
the wrong side, but that’s besides the point. [This historical
moment brought to you by the good folks at StocksandNews…
now I can write the trip off!]
–Lastly, I just purchased a new book titled, “1940s: All-
American Ads” (edited by Jim Heimann), an expensive sucker, if
I may say so myself, but we are always looking for interesting
new material for you loyal Bar Chat readers.
Now these are actual print ads from the era. An example:
“Tartan lets you TAN, never burn!
When Tartan Suntan lotion is used as directed – you can have
fun in the sun with safety. Tartan, the new suntan lotion, gives
you complete protection – never a blister – yet a beautiful tan.
Tartan’s proved and tested protection means:
1. No Painful Burn! Tartan screens out 90% of the sun’s
burning rays (the rays below 3130 angstrom units).
2. A Glorious Tan! Tartan admits 90% of the healthful tanning
rays of the sun (the rays above 3130 angstrom units).
3. It’s Stainless! Tartan contains no iodine or tannic acid –
keeps towels, linen, and bathing attire cleaner.
4. It’s Greaseless! Helps you look your best when you’re on the
beach.”
Oh, brother. No wonder we all have skin cancer. I’m also going
to have to get our own Dr. Bortrum to look into these claims.
What the hell does ‘angstrom’ have to do with it?
Next time, cigarette ads.
Top 3 songs for the week of 6/10/67: #1 “Respect” (Aretha
Franklin) #2 “Groovin’” (The Young Rascals) #3 “I Got
Rhythm” (The Happenings)
U.S. Open Golf Quiz Answers: 1) David Graham was the only
foreigner to win in the 1980s…1981 at Merion. Remember?
The perfect Open round. I think he hit every fairway. 2) Colin
Montgomerie finished 2nd to Ernie Els in 1994 and 1997. *Loren
Roberts also tied for 2nd in ’94, losing the playoff on the 20th
hole. 3) Hale Irwin won in 1974, 1979 and 1990. [Jack Nicklaus
won his first in 1962 and last in 1980.] 4) 4-time winners:
Nicklaus, Bobby Jones, and Ben Hogan.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday.
