NFL Quiz (it’s time to get the bigger items out of the way, before
we start any team quizzes after the season starts): 1) Name the
top ten rushers in NFL history. 2) Of these ten, who is the only
one to have a run over 85 yards? Answers below.
Totally Random Items
–This past week the PGA had another tour stop with a
questionable corporate sponsor, Qwest. As noted before, aside
from needing some new ones (WorldCom quickly comes to
mind), my guess is tour purses are close to peaking.
–I stumbled upon John Stallworth’s Hall of Fame speech on
Saturday (I missed Jim Kelly’s). Boy, I was always a Stallworth
fan growing up, now I’m even more so. What a good man.
Yup, Stallworth and Swann, the best combo ever. For his part,
Stallworth averaged 16.2 yards on 537 receptions, 63 for
touchdowns. Swann averaged 16.3 on 336 catches, 51 for scores.
The numbers are puny compared to today’s standards (except
for the percentage that went for TDs), but the Steelers of
that era weren’t a pass happy club and didn’t need to be with
Franco Harris (and, for a spell, Rocky Bleier) back there.
–Frank Deford has a now annual piece in Sports Illustrated on
why Pete Rose should be in the Hall of Fame. I don’t necessarily
disagree, but no one has ever mentioned my longstanding
position. Tell Rose now that he’s in…once he passes away.
–Hey Jim Harrick, coach of Georgia’s basketball team, nice
program you’re running! Not only are some of his current
players in trouble, as a result of rape and assault charges, but all
four of his recruits for this coming season failed to make the
grade, in one form or another, including a guy who didn’t
complete summer school, leaving him a course shy of his high
school diploma. I’d nominate this kid for “Idiot of the Year,” but
he wouldn’t understand if I handed it to him, so why bother?
–From Bill Scheft of Sports Illustrated. “Despite problems with
the law, Allen Iverson jerseys are still flying off the shelves.
And they’ve even sold a couple.”
–So I’m looking at Charlie Brown’s pitching motion the other
day and I’m thinking, gee, he really threw like Juan Marichal,
high leg kick and all. It’s a wonder that his won-lost record
wasn’t better.
–As of this writing, Los Angeles Lakers broadcasting great
Chick Hearn is not doing well, to say the least, after two brain
operations following a fall. Hearn, 85, will never do another
game, but what an amazing career. He wasn’t thinking of early
retirement, no sirree. [*Hearn died Monday night.]
[This reminded me to look up Ralph Kiner’s age. He turns 80 in
October and is still doing Mets games, along with Bob Murphy
(who’s no spring chicken either). The two have been together
since the Mets inception in 1962. Not a bad life, except you have
to cover the Mets. Or how about Ernie Harwell, who after 55
years in broadcasting, 42 with the Detroit Tigers, is hanging it up
at the age of 84? Legends, all.]
–New Jersey had a once every five year thunderstorm on Friday
night. I mean to tell ya, it was wicked. The National Weather
Service estimates there were anywhere from 7,000 – 10,000
lightning strikes in the New York City area. 200,000 in my state
lost power…all from a thunderstorm.
–Kirin Brewery Co. of Japan is resurrecting a 4,400-year-old
beer recipe, one that was taken from an Egyptian wall painting.
Containing 10% alcohol, it tastes more like white wine than beer
because they didn’t use hops back then. Alas, only 8 gallons are
being brewed for an exhibition. Whaddya say we try and crash
it, eh?
–In case you give a damn, one of the items the players and
owners agree on in the current baseball labor negotiations is for
the minimum salary to go from $200,000 to $300,000 next
season. The owners now expect the players to offer a proposal
for drug testing. If the players don’t, the fans should…err…
tear up the field! Yeah, that’s the ticket.
–Back to our ongoing theme of recognizing idiots, last week an
armed gang of 15 robbed a baseball camp in Venezuela run by
the Seattle Mariners. They took wallets, jewelry and cellphones.
This is a camp for developing players, not even minor leaguers,
let alone major league ballplayers, you bozzos. You think they
have any money?! Geezuz.
–If you live in Atlanta…run for your lives!!!! Glenn Robinson
is coming! The Atlanta Hawks acquired this thug from the
Milwaukee Bucks (at which point the citizens of Milwaukee
breathed a collective sigh of relief and left their once barricaded
homes). Robinson was recently arrested for domestic battery,
assault, and illegal possession of a firearm.
–There were 85 unprovoked shark attacks, worldwide, in 2000
and 76 in 2001. Thus far this year, there have been a handful.
Nonetheless, on the Atlantic Coast, blacktip sharks are moving
closer to shore, supposedly because their fish supply is
dwindling, and they are checking out Long John Silver’s and Red
Lobster outlets. I’m more concerned that they will be mating
with these snakehead fish that can walk on their fins. Of course
I’m worried about all animals mating with snakeheads. You
should be too.
–Hey, you want to see a cool dog? Harry K., up in the Great
White North, told me he has a spinone. Now I don’t want to
appear to be ignorant, but frankly, I hadn’t heard of this breed.
Check out “spinone.com.” As Harry says, it’s the world’s
greatest dog: docile, non-shedding, non-territorial (unlike hippos)
and great with kids. [Hippos aren’t good with kids, either.]
Spinones go back to ancient Rome, which means they’ve seen it
all.
–Tony P., who works with me on this site and lives in western
New Jersey, said he came across a 400 lb. black bear as he went
to pick up the morning paper this weekend. Tony said he wasn’t
scared. I would have frozen in my tracks and been eaten alive.
–Customs officials in Egypt checked out Ahmed Mahmoud
Salem’s luggage the other day. Salem is from Syria and was
about to board a plane for Jordan. Turns out he had 7,000 dried
lizards, which he said were to be used in making an aphrodisiac.
Kids, don’t try this at home.
–Back to fish, the other day I mentioned that New Jersey
officials are worried about a particular species of catfish, the
flathead, which has found its way into the Delaware River. They
are capable of devouring McDonald’s franchises, and everything
else in between.
But to learn more, the Star-Ledger actually contacted former
pitcher, and subject of a recent Bar Chat Quiz, Jim “Mudcat”
Grant, who was known to be an expert on flatheads, which,
coincidentally, are also called “mudcats.” Said Grant:
“They’re the big daddy of the catfish family. They devour
everything, and then they get bigger and bigger.”
Mudcat then issued a warning. “If they get in the river (too late),
it is going to be very difficult to get rid of them, like getting rid
of rats in New York City.”
Aaagh!
–Julie Dunn of the New York Times had a profile on Wylie
Gustafson, the man behind Yahoo’s yodel. Back in 1996, Wylie
was paid $590 to record it, but he had no idea how frequently the
commercial would be played. Then, two years later, he heard his
yodel during a Super Bowl spot. Well, at this he contacted
Yahoo and they gave him another $590.
This kind of pissed Wylie off and he sued the company for
$5 million. “Within a week,” Gustafson said, “we had settled
fairly, justly and quickly.” No idea what the actual settlement
terms were. I’d be curious if anyone out there knows.
–William Mallow, RIP: And just who is this gentleman, who
died the other day at age 72? Are you a cat lover? [I’m not.]
Mallow is credited with inventing clumping cat litter. But wait,
there’s more. He also perfected Liquid Paper correction fluid, as
well as improvements on the space shuttle’s heat-resistant tiles,
the rubber skin used on robot dinosaurs at Walt Disney World
and something called Mobility Denial System.
This last item may be his true legacy. It is a slippery gel
designed to foil attacks on government buildings and to control
crowds. Once sprayed on a surface, it can cause people to slip
and fall, as well as preventing vehicles from getting traction.
Think of the fun you could have in your office with this! [Just
kidding…not really.]
–Back to more serious news, Dave Parker, 62-years-old, used a
pocket knife on Friday to kill an adult cougar on Vancouver
Island. Walking down a country path, the cougar leaped on him
from behind, but Parker managed to get his knife and slit the
animal’s throat.
Parker had extensive wounds, but was able to walk a mile for
help. He then underwent massive surgery on his face.
Larry Pepper, the mayor of nearby Port Alice, said the knife
obviously saved him. “It’s all right to say lay there and play
dead once they knock you down, but when they’re chewing the
side of your face off that’s not really easy to do.” Ain’t that the
truth.
There have been 16 cougar attacks on Vancouver Island since
1970, resulting in three deaths, the last in 1996 when a woman
died while fighting off a cat that mauled her son. In all of British
Columbia, there have been 8 deaths in the last 100 years.
College Football
In case you missed it, here is the ESPN / USA Today Coaches
Poll.
#1 Miami
#2 Texas
#3 Oklahoma
#4 Florida State
#5 Tennessee
#6 Colorado
#7 Florida
#8 Nebraska
#9 Washington
#10 Michigan
Louisville, #17, and Marshall, #21, look exciting, having two of
the best QBs in the country, Dave Ragone (Louisville) and Byron
Leftwich.
But there is a real travesty here. My Wake Forest Demon
Deacons received one measly vote for the Top 25, which put
them at #60. Wake is going 9-2. Seriously. I mean it.
*This just in…Wake Forest has received an early commitment
for 2003 from QB Ben Mauk of Kenton High School in Ohio.
All Mauk did was throw for over 5,700 yards…in his junior
season!!! And he has a 3.9 GPA. Wake got him over LSU, Penn
State and Iowa. GO DEACS!!!!! [Thanks, Phil, for passing this
along.]
–Happy 90th birthday to Julia Child! Actually, it’s August 15,
but this past weekend they had celebrations for her in Napa
Valley.
Child was born in Pasadena, CA and is a Smith College grad.
During World War II, she served in the OSS, the predecessor of
the CIA. After the war, her husband was stationed in Paris, and
it was here that Julia started her cooking career.
Child wrote “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” in 1961 (she
had two collaborators) and in 1963 she was given her own
program on PBS, “The French Chef,” which was everyone’s
introduction to cooking over about the age of 30, I imagine.
Recently, she was asked, “What were people cooking in the
1960s?”
“It was all very American,” Child said. “There was lots of Jell-
O.” [Oops, we ate lots of jello. We also ate liver. What the
heck was my mother thinking, back then? Goodness, gracious.
She did make up for this by having veal once a week, though,
still my favorite dish.]
Top 3 songs for the week of 8/5/78: #1 Miss You” (The Rolling
Stones) #2 “Three Times A Lady” (Commodores) #3 “Grease”
(Frankie Valli)
NFL Quiz Answers:
Top Ten Rushers
1) Walter Payton – 16,726…4.4 avg.
2) Emmitt Smith – 16,187…4.3
3) Barry Sanders – 15,269…5.0
4) Eric Dickerson – 13,259…4.4
5) Tony Dorsett – 12,739…4.3
6) Jim Brown – 12,312…5.2
7) Marcus Allen – 12,243…4.1
8) Franco Harris – 12,120…4.1
9) Thurman Thomas – 12,074…4.2
10) John Riggins – 11,352…3.9
O.J. is #11 (11,236…4.7).
*The only one of the top ten with a run over 85 yards was
Dorsett, who had one of 99.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday. A little music history, and a special
football statistical review you won’t find anywhere else.
