Kansas City Royals Quiz (1969-2002): 1) What two years did
the Royals win a pennant? 2) Who was the last 20-game winner?
3) Who threw 2 no-hitters in the 70s? 4) What two players have
had their uniform retired? 5) Who was the 1st manager? 6) Who
is the single season HR leader? 7) Who is the career leader in
wins? 8) Who are the only two with 1,000 RBI? Answers
below.
The British Open
ABC’s Mike Tirico said it best, “Sports is the best reality TV
going.” Ahh, there’s nothing better than golf’s majors, and I
can’t ever recall missing a last round of one, regardless of where
I was in the world. Often the drama is unmatchable, and for each
winner there are losers who amazingly don’t pull the trigger after
it’s over. This year’s winner was Ben Curtis, formerly of the
Hooters Tour; an unfathomable, 500-1 (at least) accomplishment.
Among the losers was Thomas Bjorn, whose performance in the
sand at #16 was absolutely hideous. As Johnny Mac told me
afterwards, he hadn’t seen so much choking since his last frat
party.
Midway through the last round, I quickly flipped to one of the
Sunday news programs to catch the comments of a particular
senator whose opinions I respect. [It doesn’t matter which one.]
He was talking about North Korea and the dangers we face,
issues I’ve raised continuously elsewhere at StocksandNews.
You know, the world is really a pretty depressing place these
days, unless you have your head in the sand and don’t know
better. But thank God for sports. Events like the British Open, a
sunny day or an ice-cold beer help make it all worthwhile.
As for Curtis, he becomes the latest member of the Bar Chat Hall
of Fame. Someday he’ll look back on this and say it meant more
than the claret jug itself………………..seriously, he really will.
[And not for nothing, but Craig Stadler pulled something off that
was pretty remarkable in its own right, as the 50-year-old won
the regular PGA Tour event at the B.C. Open, the first time a
Senior Tour player accomplished this. *Ray Floyd won his at age
49…not 50, as USA network would have had you believe
yesterday.]
A Little Beer History
In case you wondered, as I find notes of interest for Bar Chat,
and if they don’t necessarily have a time element to them, I tend
to throw them in the official Bar Chat manila folders, one for
each month. As the years go by, then, I plow through the
designated one and pull out a few tales, though sometimes a
piece has to wait another year before it officially sees the light of
day. So for this month I saved an article from last year by Max
Rudin who writes in the June/July 2002 edition of American
Heritage on the history of beer in America.
Up until 1842, all beers were basically “dark or cloudy or both.”
But in that year, brewers in Pilsen, the Austrian province of
Bohemia, came up with a process for making a clear, golden
beer; what would become known as “lager.” It was called this
because it required lagering, or storage in cold caves for several
months before it was ready to drink.
German immigrants thus first brought lager to American cities,
but soon thereafter it found a wider market, so much so that the
New York Times said lager was “getting a good deal too
fashionable.” Rich and poor loved it.
Suddenly, all over the country arose beer gardens, distant cousins
of amusement parks. New York’s Bowery had some of the
fanciest, and they were popular in other cities like St. Louis,
Milwaukee, Cincinnati, and Philadelphia. Some in Chicago
served up to 3,000 people a day in the summer.
Of course someone had to make the beer, so enter the new class
of brewers. Rudin writes:
“In 1842 the Prussian Schaefer brothers, Frederick and
Maximilian, set up the first commercial lager brewery in New
York City, and two years later Philadelphia had one, the
forerunner of C. Schmidt and Sons. In Milwaukee the daughter
of the brewer Jacob Best married the steamboat captain Frederick
Pabst; her brother Charles set up a lager brewery in 1848 and
seven years later sold out to a young brewer fresh from Germany
named Frederick Miller. In 1856 in the same city the brewer
August Krug died, and his widow married the bookkeeper Joseph
Schlitz. Eberhard Anheuser, a St. Louis soap manufacturer,
acquired a small brewery in 1860 and then had the good fortune
to acquire a son-in-law as a partner, a talented salesman named
Adolphus Busch.”
Because the beer had to be stored and shipped at low
temperatures, the brewers needed a ton of ice. Rudin notes that
this was a large reason for Milwaukee’s early success – easy
access to the stuff, while the Schaefer brothers actually carved
deep caves into the rock under their brewery at Fiftieth Street
and what is now Park Avenue (NYC) to keep their beer cold.
Well, as we learned in our junior high school history classes,
America’s Civil War represented the high point in popularity for
whiskey and during Reconstruction (I’m taking slight liberties
here) beer began to win out over the harder stuff. And as
technology flourished, and as it became possible to keep beer
colder, longer, regional breweries went national. Adolphus
Busch was the first to tie everything together, including bottling,
refrigeration, transportation and shelf life. Max Rudin:
“Near Pilsen was a town, once home to the royal court brewery
of Bohemia, that made a slightly sweeter version of golden lager
whose recipe Busch felt was ideally suited to American tastes.
The town was called Ceske Budejovice, but it was better known
by its German name, Budweis.”
The Budweiser brand was created in 1875. Adolphus Busch
would become a very wealthy man. And now you know how
lager swept America. Make sure you tell this story to the
younger folks, so that they can pass it down to their kids, and so
on and so on. Kind of like Beowulf, if you catch my draft.
And finally, in his 1913 memoir “John Barleycorn,” Jack London
wrote:
“The more beer Captain Nelson and I drank the better we got
acquainted….So he drifted back to his wild young days, and
spun many a rare yarn for me, while we downed beer, treat by
treat, all through a blessed summer afternoon. And it was only
John Barleycorn that made possible that long afternoon with the
old sea dog.”
Go ahead, grab a frosty.
Harry K.’s Summer Vacation
I always love getting Harry’s summer memo from the Great
White North.
“I’m on vacation for a couple of weeks, and this year we’re
staying home instead of going on a road trip. [My wife loves a
good road trip, and in previous years we’ve driven to Prince
Edward Island, and other lengthy excursions, but they are very
wearing on the driver – me. When I start to nod off after six
hours behind the wheel, my wife always asks me, why don’t I
have a nap and she’ll drive for a while, but I always answer,
‘You think I’ll be able to sleep with you driving?’] We are going
to take the kid down to Niagara Falls for a couple of days next
week, to see the Falls, ride the Maid of the Mist and visit Mme.
Tussaud’s, Ripley’s and all the rest of the tourist crap, but
otherwise, we’re sticking home, getting caught up on our chores,
and generally just puttering around. I find that our fast-paced
modern society vastly undervalues the benefits of a good spate of
puttering around. It does wonders for the constitution. I think
our ancestors were hunter / gatherer / putterers. Anyway, I’ve
been building a fence around the back yard, so now the dog can
just go outside and I don’t have to get up every ten minutes to
untangle her rope. Today I planted a tree in our back yard (an
autumn purple ash – lovely tree). Emma, our ten-year-old, has
been splashing about with her friends in our new pool, a 12’ x
36” deep inflatable pool purchased at Canadian Tire for
C$149.99, my best investment of the season. Summer is good.
“Our various ham-fisted levels of government are sponsoring a
big concert at the end of the month to restore Toronto’s image as
a tourist destination. It headlines the Rolling Stones, plus the
Guess Who, AC-DC, Blue Rodeo, Flaming Lips, and a bunch of
lesser known acts (who the heck is Jason…Justin…Whatever…
Timberlake, anyway?). Get this; the ten-hour concert is at
Downsview, a former WWII air force base (back when we
actually had an air force) and the site where DeHavilland used to
build most excellent airplanes (especially the Turbo-Beaver,
workhorse of the North). Rules for the concert (like, man, at
Woodstock there were no rules!) are numerous: no food, no
drink, no blankets, no lawn chairs, no beer, no drugs, and each
entrant is only allowed to bring 2 bottles of water (sealed) into
the park. There are only three exits and organizers expect that
many attending won’t get out of the place until the morning after,
due to traffic constraints. Now maybe I’m getting old, but the
prospect of paying $30 to watch a bunch of geriatric rock stars
for 10 hours under a blazing sun on a concrete airfield, with no
blanket to sit on, no lawn chairs, no beach umbrella and no food
except the overpriced crap proffered by the caterers – well, I’ll
just stay home and listen to ‘Let It Bleed’ on the stereo instead.
“Toronto’s police chief, Mr. Fantino, a bit of a wet blanket
himself, says blankets are bad news because people might use
them to hurl other people high into the air, a practice common, as
far as I know, only at Inuit games. As for the ban on food and
drink, and extra water – who knows what idiot thought that one
up? Plus, they’re holding the thing on a weekday.
“Anyway, Ontario sustained something close to a $billion dollars
in costs related to the SARS outbreak, and the federal
government’s response has so far been to kick in $3 million
towards the cost of the Stones. Stupid is as stupid does, as
Forrest Gump was wont to say.
“I myself will be heading up to Cobalt, Ontario (the Town That
Silver Built), my old home, which is celebrating its 100th
Anniversary this year over the August 1 long weekend. [They
call it ‘Civic Holiday Weekend’ now, having determined that the
original name, Simcoe Day, after John Graves Simcoe, the
founder of Toronto, war hero, the man who abolished slavery in
Canada, among many other accomplishments, was too reflective
of Ontario’s Anglo/Scottish roots and not multi-culti enough. If
ever anyone deserved to have a holiday named after him, Simcoe
was it. Here in Canada, our government masters prefer to
whitewash our entire history, covering up all the colorful and
interesting bits so as to make it dryer than a popcorn fart. Then,
the federal government hands out grants to various multi-culti
organizations so they can ‘tell our own stories’ in a more
culturally diverse way. Pathetic.]
“Cobalt is a funky little town, recently voted the most historic in
Ontario. It had one of the first teams in what is now the NHL,
boasted streetcars and opera houses and has its own stock
exchange (later absorbed by the TSE). The fortunes made
mining silver in Cobalt built Ontario (and especially Toronto),
but the town has fallen on hard times, and there are no silver
mines left.
“Here’s an interesting geographical note: after a six-hour drive to
Cobalt (311 miles due north of Toronto) I will still be well south
of the 49th parallel, and still about 60 miles south of the Arctic
watershed, from whence all rivers flow north to Hudson’s Bay.
Ontario is a very big place. It takes 3 whole days to drive across
it (from Cornwall on the Quebec border to the Manitoba border
west of Kenora. Ontario is four times the size of Texas, which I
understand you ‘Murricans think is a pretty big place. Look at a
map: fully two-thirds of Ontario is north of the TransCanada
Highway, where there are no roads, and where few white men
have ever walked, possibly because of the swarms of black flies
and mosquitoes as big as your fist.
“Anyway, gotta take Lucia the Spinone to the nightly dog
meeting at the park.”
Thanks, Harry. I’m heading outside into the garage to do some
puttering.
Bear!
In light of the fact that bears are becoming an increasing menace
across most of America, let alone Harry K.’s Canada, it’s once
again time for a special public service announcement, courtesy of
Brad Garfield’s “Bear vs. Man” (Willow Creek Press, Minocqua,
Wisconsin).
If you see a bear at 100 yards:
–Don’t run!
–Avert your eyes – do not stare at a bear!
–Back away slowly until the bear is out of site or you have
reached a safe place.
At 75-300 feet:
–Don’t run!
–Shout loudly in an authoritative voice.
–Wave your arms and hold your jacket open to appear larger.
–Avert your eyes.
–Back away slowly and look for higher ground to make yourself
look bigger.
–If you lose sight of the bear, watch your back as you continue
to leave the area.
At 5-25 feet:
–Don’t run!
–Have a weapon ready – if you don’t have pepper spray or a
firearm, throw a stick or rock.
–Yell loudly!
–Stand your ground and try to make yourself appear as large as
possible.
–Leave your backpack on.
If attack is imminent:
–Drop to the ground face down, with legs stretched out.
–Intertwine your fingers behind your neck with your elbows
close together.
–Protect your vitals (stomach, neck, head) – if the bear flips you
over, try to keep rolling until you are face down again.
–Depending on the type of bear and attack, your actions will
differ.
If attacked by a Black Bear:
–Do not play dead – if a black bear doesn’t stop an attack, you
must fight.
–Do not climb a tree!
–Do not run!
If attacked by a Brown / Grizzly Bear
–Play dead!
–Climb a tree if its branches are not sturdy enough to support the
grizzly or spaced so it can follow.
–Do not run!
–Do not play dead if attack occurs at night!
Bluff attack:
–Ears up.
–Veers the direction of the charge, especially at the last minute.
–Loping gait.
–Pops jaws or huffs.
Real attack:
–Ears pinned flat against head.
–Charges directly at you.
–Runs at full speed.
–Makes no sound and stares directly at you.
There you have it. Obviously, don’t run. And I would add a few
other points. Try chatting the bear up. “Did you see the British
Open, bloke?” “Do the Mets suck or what?” [This may cause the
bear to get rather irritated, but if he’s a Yankee fan…we’re
talking Yogi, after all…he’ll undoubtedly nod his head in
agreement and maybe give you a high-five, at worst.] “Stock
market sure looks overvalued, don’t you think?” “When do you
think Ben and J.Lo will call it quits?” [This last one, boys and
girls, is probably the most effective, because it forces the bear to
use parts of the brain it isn’t used to and will take his mind off
eating you.]
Stuff
–Travel & Leisure magazine recently published its annual
survey of various categories. Here are the Top 10 cities in the
world.
1. Sydney
2. Florence
3. Bangkok
4. Rome
5. Cape Town
6. New York
7. San Francisco
8. Venice
9. Istanbul
10. Santa Fe
Having spent some time in Sydney last February, I couldn’t
agree more.
–There isn’t a heck of a lot to say about the whole Kobe Bryant
deal, except that the NBA is obviously thrilled, what with Kobe
joining the likes of Jerry Stackhouse, Gary Payton, Damon
Stoudamire, Chris Webber and Glenn Robinson, all of whom
have been charged with serious offenses in just the past few
weeks. I’ll stick with golf, thank you.
–Johnny Mac pointed out to me that Reebok signed a 3-year-old
basketball talent by the name of Mark Walker out of Little
Summit, Missouri. Which actually means that in about 18 years,
Walker will be charged with assault.
–Ben Curtis…1 for 1 in majors. Phil Mickelson, 0 for 45.
–Boy, Ken Griffey Jr. has had a rough go of it the past three
seasons and you have to question at this point if he’s finished,
Griffey having ruptured a tendon in his ankle this weekend. But
how despicable was it that many of the Cincinnati fans in
attendance booed him as he hobbled off the field? Just three
years ago Griffey seemed a lock to best Hank Aaron’s home run
record. Now, even though he is still just 33, the man is stuck on
481 homers.
Top 3 songs for the week of 7/20/68: #1 “Grazing In The Grass”
(Hugh Masekela) #2 “Lady Willpower” (Gary Puckett & The
Union Gap) #3 “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” (The Rolling Stones)
Kansas City Royals Quiz Answers: 1) They won pennants in
1980 and 1985 (the World Series in ’85). 2) Bret Saberhagen
was the last 20-game winner, 1989, 23-6 (he won the Cy Young
that season). 3) Steve Busby threw no-hitters in 1973 and 1974.
4) George Brett (#5) and Frank White (#20) have had their
uniforms retired. 5) Joe Gordon was the first manager, lasting
just one year, 69-93. 6) Steve Balboni is the single season HR
leader, 36, 1985. 7) Paul Splittorff leads in wins with 166. 8)
Only two with 1,000 RBI are George Brett (1,595) and Hal
McRae (1,012).
Next Bar Chat, Thursday….1968.
