Detroit Tigers Quiz (1901-2001): 1) In what four years did the
Tigers win the World Series? 2) Who was the last 20-game
winner? 3) Who is the all-time leader in shutouts? [modern-day
player] 4) All-time leader in HR? 5) Who was the last to drive
in 140 runs? 6) Last AL batting champ? Answers below.
Henry Ford Museum
I’ve been to some terrific museums in my time, but this one in
Dearborn, MI is as good as they get. It’s not just about Ford and
the automobile, it’s also a super look at the America of the last
100 years, coinciding with the 100th anniversary of Ford Motor
Company in 2003. I’ll address Ford himself in more detail for a
future “Wall Street History” piece, but for now, think back to
1903.
The Boston Red Sox defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates in the first
World Series.
Orville and Wilbur Wright flew the first plane.
“The Great Train Robbery” was the first film to be produced
with a full story.
Jack London wrote “The Call of the Wild.”
And a few other tidbits in the years leading up to the first Model
T in 1908.
1906, the passage of the Pure Food and Drug Act, which
regulated the production of processed food. H.J. Heinz, of fake
blood fame, was a leading proponent of this legislation. That
same year socialist Upton Sinclair wrote “The Jungle,” the lurid
tale of abuses in the Chicago stockyards, long before there was
a PETA. Of course you also had a little thing called the San
Francisco earthquake that year.
1907, “Mr. A. Mutt” appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle.
Comic strip aficionados should know that this was the first pure
daily strip. ‘Jeff’ joined the cast later.
And in 1908, while Ford was producing his car for the common
man, William C. Durant was founding General Motors, through
acquisitions that included Buick, Oldsmobile and Cadillac the
first two years. But also in 1908, Hoover came up with the first
efficient electric vacuum cleaner.
But did you know that with regards to the Model T, there were
7,882 distinct tasks in the assembly line process? To see the
Highland Park Plant in those days must have been quite a sight.
Up to 15,000 worked there at its peak, and it was in 1914 that
Henry Ford announced the $5 day, which was twice what most
other factories paid workers back then.
Of course the museum is loaded with automobiles and while I’m
not a car fan (just give me my Honda Accord every few years),
you can’t help but get into it when you see models from every
possible era.
Like the Cadillac Touring Car, 1915, $1,975. Or the 1956
Lincoln Continental Mark II, a mammoth piece of decadence that
went for $10,000. And then I’m walking behind these fellow
tourists, going through the gallery, when the husband goes to
his wife, “Oh yeah, there’s the ’59 Eldorado.” It was about 100
feet away, but, yes, he nailed it. ’59 Cadillac Eldorado, the
biggest car you ever did see in your life. In fact, it’s not even
close. It appeared to be as long as a football field, all for only
$7,401.
Actually, this particular model was the swan song for G.M.’s (the
Henry Ford museum has lots of G.M. cars) superstar designer,
Harley Earl, who was design chief there from 1927 to 1958,
creating the best cars of excess and luxury. Now some of you
might be saying, so there really was a Harley Earl? I have to tell
you, I was confused because I had read somewhere that the
character in the G.M. commercials you see today – with that
distinguished looking guy going “I’m Harley Earl and I’ve come
back to design a great car for you” – was made up. No, he’s real.
And there are other cars, like the Tucker Torpedo Sedan, 1948,
$2,450, another lap of luxury. Then you have the Volkswagen
Camper, 1959, $2,737; the 1965 Ford Mustang, $3,334 (though it
was also the first automobile to come with all kinds of options
that could be purchased separately); and the 1970 Meyers Manx
Dune Buggy. Back in 1963, Californian Bruce Meyers put a
fiberglass body on a modified VW chassis and sold kits for about
$1,000.
For you racing enthusiasts we had the actual Ford GT Mark IV
that A.J. Foyt and Dan Gurney rode to victory in 1967 at
LeMans. I think most would agree that this was racing’s best
era, whether it was LeMans / Daytona / Sebring, or Grand Prix
racing, or NASCAR. In fact back in ’67, Foyt and Gurney were
on quite a roll. Foyt had won the Indy 500 two weeks earlier,
and then Gurney won the Belgian Grand Prix just one week after
their triumph at LeMans.
There are some other historic cars at the Henry Ford Museum,
including the 1965 Corvair, the piece of crap that propelled
Ralph Nader to fame after writing the book “Unsafe at Any
Speed,” an expose on how dangerous many of America’s car
models were, particularly the rear-engine Corvair.
And look, there’s my Honda…the 1st car built in America by a
Japanese company, the 1983 Honda Accord, retailing for $8,645.
Finally, there were some rather important vehicles in American
history, including the actual bus that Rosa Parks rode on 12/1/55
in Montgomery, AL, when Ms. Parks heroically refused to give
up her seat (I was kind of a sap reading the plaque next to the
bus, I have to admit), plus you have the presidential limo that
John F. Kennedy was riding in that fateful day in Dallas.
But then as I’m walking out, after a good three hours, I see a
crowd around a glass enclosure containing an easy chair. Yes,
the very chair Abraham Lincoln was sitting in at Ford’s Theatre.
Anyway, just a terrific museum to visit during your next cross
country trek with the kids.
Omigosh, I almost forgot one of the best parts. The James Bond
annex. The Ford folks assembled many of Bond’s cars, along
with some of the gadgets used in the films, like the crocodile
submarine that James used to get to Octopussy’s island
undetected. Why every guy should have one.
Tigers Baseball
Of course I really came to Detroit to see the world’s worst
baseball team, the Detroit Tigers, who are on pace to finish about
43-119, thereby threatening the mark of the 1962 New York
Mets and their 40-120 record for futility in the modern era.
So let me give you a little blow-by-blow of Tuesday’s action.
As the 7:05 game time approached, I thought I’d catch batting
practice so I had a cab pick me up at about 4:45 for the quick
drive down to Comerica Stadium. Turns out it was the same
Arab driver from my trip to and from the Ford Museum earlier
that day. [The last thing I was about to do was rent a car and get
lost driving around downtown Detroit.]
Just as I got in the cab it started to pour, and it poured all the
way down to the stadium. The interstate was jammed up, so my
driver took me down Michigan Ave. instead. I don’t know how
many of you have been through here recently, but it’s kind of
harsh, to say the least. I felt ten times safer walking the slums of
Istanbul than I would have here if I had been forced to.
Anyway, since it was raining I went for a pre-game brewski at
Hockeytown, a well-known watering hole / restaurant across
from Comerica. As I drank my Foster’s (bottle) at the bar, I told
the guy sitting next to me that I came all the way from New
Jersey to see the Tigers play. Of course he almost spit up his
drink at this. Basically, anyone you talk to in Detroit says the
same thing, “When another team needs a few wins, they play the
Tigers.”
Well, the weather cleared, the temperature was perfect, and I
settled into my fantastic seat, two rows behind the Tigers dugout,
staring down the right field line. But by 6:45, I was still the only
one seated in a 4-row section. Talk about comical. I didn’t
realize that everyone in the stands was looking at me, or so it
appeared, until after I turned around.
“Hey,” I yelled to a family way up. “Want to come down?”
I felt like Bob Uecker, except I really was in the front row
with no one else near me. Alas, 3 young guys sat down in front
shortly thereafter.
Rob Reiner, of all people, threw out the first ball. Now my
favorite show of all time is “All in the Family,” and Reiner is
terrific. Yeah, his politics sucks, but I gotta tell ya, I respect him
because at least he is educated on the issues, unlike his other
Hollywood pals.
Oops, forgot to tell those of you keeping score at home that I had
two Foster’s at Hockeytown before I hit Comerica. Then I
bought a 32-oz. Labatt’s Blue as I went to my seat. I swear to
God, you have to look all over to get anything smaller!
“Shameka,” I said to my new best friend, the server, “what are
you doing to me?” Shameka had sort of an evil chuckle.
It’s play ball. I was fired up for this particular game because the
Oakland A’s were going with rookie sensation Rich Harden and I
sensed a no-hitter. And oh how fitting it was when the first
batter for the A’s reached base on an error by the Detroit third
baseman, while in the bottom of the second, unfortunately, the
Tigers’ Dmitri Young singled off Harden, thereby denying me
my chance at witnessing history.
Come the third inning, with Oakland already up 4-1, I had
ordered another 32-oz. Labatt’s (don’t keep score too closely, my
friends) and then it began to rain again. And it rained, spritzed,
rained some more. That’s when I discovered what a great new
park Comerica is. It has huge, sweeping concourses, unlike older
parks, such as hideous Shea Stadium, so that everyone can get
under cover comfortably and still watch the game. Plus, they
have this big section of padded chairs, with tables, that is also
protected from the elements. I mean to tell ya, what a
comfortable place to watch a game, drinking your 32-oz. Labatt’s
even as it’s raining on the field.
The umpires didn’t stop play because the sky was practically
clear on the horizon; this damn shower just wouldn’t go away.
Finally, with the score at 7-2 A’s in the top of the eighth, I left.
Now this was where it got kind of interesting. My driver, Sam,
said to call him when I was ready to go back to the hotel and he
showed me a place a little bit removed from the stadium where
he would pick me up, because it avoided some of the post-game
traffic (not that there was a lot…I think the attendance was
around 15,000). So I called the number and got his daughter.
“Hi, this is the editor (remember, I don’t use my real name for
‘Bar Chat’) and I want my favorite cabbie to pick me up at
Comerica. He knows where I’ll be.” “No problem, Dad will be
there in 15 minutes.” Perfect.
15…30…45…the crowd has long filed out, game over, and I’m
on a street corner in Detroit, away from the stadium. No one was
bothering me, mind you. That is until this well-spoken lad
carrying 8 empty beer bottles (quite a feat) sauntered up and
asked me if I had any spare change. No, I said, giving him my
best Clint impersonation. [Actually, I do a better Lee Van
Cleef.] Of course I had no actual change, only about 15 $20s.
But the guy just said, “Take care,” and walked away. “Take
care?” What a pleasant chap.
Well, I called again and this time got Sam. “I was waiting for
you to call back because I got held up driving 38 kids!” Yeah
right, Sam. Anyway, after 75 minutes I had my ride back to the
hotel.
Other random musings from Game One.
Detroit outfielder Bobby Higginson is the biggest bum in
baseball, next to the Mets’ Roger Cedeno. I was talking to some
kids at the game (the fans are super friendly, by the way) and
they reminded me that Higginson is making $12 million this
year, or something outrageous like that. He’s hitting .245 with 7
homers in 300 at bats.
I think it was in the 5th that the fans are entertained with the
Dunkin’ Donuts race, an animated variety up on the scoreboard.
I mean to tell you, after a couple of 32-oz. Labatt’s and a few
Foster’s, it’s pretty funny. I think the bagel beat out the cup of
coffee and the donut.
The Tigers play Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back In Town” at
the bottom of the first. Great tune. In fact, I may have to rework
my all-time top ten list to accommodate it. Could be as high as
#5 these days.
Comerica really is a nice park, and on the brick outfield walls
they have the names of the Tiger greats; #23 Willie Horton, Ty
Cobb (didn’t have #’s back then), #5 Hank Greenberg, #2
Charlie Gehringer, #16 Hal Newhouser, #6 Al Kaline. I saw a
kid with a retro Kaline jersey and went to every souvenir stand
looking for one. No luck. Al Kaline. Just saying the name is
cool.
I’m not going to get to see Tiger pitchers Mike Maroth (6-15) or
Jeremy Bonderman (4-15). Manager Alan Trammell did say
he’s keeping both in the rotation, however, even though they are
each a cinch to lose 20, becoming the first to do so since
Oakland’s Brian Kingman in 1980.
—
And so it was on to Game Two. I got off to a bad start when I
forgot my notepad, though it was soon clear it wasn’t necessary.
For this contest I had chosen the left field bleachers and with the
sun out it wasn’t a smart choice. The glare is awful until the sun
goes down over the stadium, which in these parts wasn’t until the
3rd inning. By then the A’s were already up 3-0 and I left after 8
with the Tigers trailing 6-3. [Oakland tacked on another 3 runs
in the 9th.] Eric Chavez hit two bombs, unfortunately to right,
not left, so I didn’t have the chance to make a fool of myself
scrambling for a home run ball. In fact five homers were hit,
none to my area.
So what is it about the now 29-82 Tigers that makes them so
bad? After all, the pitching is poor, but the team ERA is still a
full run below Texas. As for the hitting, they’re mired in last in
this category, while some blame manager Alan Trammell.
Watching these guys warm up before the game was painful. No
one was having any fun.
To sum it up, it must be dreadful being a Tiger these days. As
for yours truly, I had 3 big beers, a Kielbasa and a hot dog, then
called Sam to pick me up. This time he made it in good order
and I didn’t have to fight off the vagrants.
One other thing. I bought a Tigers cap and some t-shirts…out of
pity, you understand. These guys really suck.
Stuff
–Thanks to Britain’s heat wave, many beach goers are being
stung by the poisonous weever fish, which is attracted to
shallow, hot water. No word on the death toll.
–Wednesday’s New York Times reports that Virginia is being
inundated with vultures, both the black and turkey variety. New
Jersey has its black bears and geese, Virginia its vultures. From
1997-2001, it is estimated that 392 farm animals were killed or
wounded by the foul-smelling birds, and whereas with the geese
it’s the droppings that are of most concern, with the vultures it’s
their vomit. Seriously. You may now resume your meal.
–Then again, perhaps the vultures are wreaking havoc because
of all the problems at the National Zoo in D.C. You’ve probably
seen the stories on the charges of animal abuse here, with many
dying from simple neglect or stupidity. Like in the case of the 2
red pandas that died after swallowing rat poison that had been
placed in their enclosure to take care of a rat problem. And then
you had the case of the fox that sauntered in from nearby Rock
Creek Park and promptly killed an eagle that couldn’t fly. [LA
Times] Actually, sounds like the vultures could be massing for a
fight against the foxes, which if you know your animal history
could be a most bloody affair.
–Ah ha! I saw in my Continental Airlines magazine that the
American Association of Zoo Keepers is holding its annual
conference in Amsterdam, Oct. 2-10. The secret’s out. You Zoo
Keepers thought by heading overseas you could avoid the
spotlight, didn’t you? Now, look for the European animal
kingdom to bug the rooms, for starters.
–So I pick up the front page of the Detroit Free Press on Tuesday
and there is a story about crop circles in the nearby suburbs.
Experts swore they weren’t man-made. Heck, the wheat stems
had holes in the middle, which leads one to believe this isn’t a
hoax. But then on Wednesday a radio station claimed it had
created them and these folks are known for publicity stunts.
Personally, it’s all part of an invasion that started long before
Mel Gibson had his problems in Pennsylvania. As a matter of
fact, when you watch the Tigers lose you can’t help but think that
maybe the aliens are masquerading as ballplayers, because
clearly they aren’t too familiar with how the game should be
played.
–Wow, did you see that golfer John Daly’s wife, along with her
parents, was indicted on federal charges for operating an
extensive drug ring? Evidently, she specialized in cocaine and
meth. Daly married her in 2001 and it’s not known if he has any
personal knowledge of her activities.
–As of Wednesday morning the Tigers had a record of 29-81.
For those of you not familiar with a baseball schedule, they play
162 games in a season (sometimes less if rainouts aren’t made
up). In other words, I guarantee the following line from a report
on Tuesday’s game in the Detroit Free Press will leave you
scratching your head.
“The Tigers are 29-81 and a lock for their 10th straight losing
season.”
No s@#*, Sherlock.
–The PGA money list has tightened even further.
Tiger…$4,810,000
Jim Furyk…$4,401,000
Mike Weir…$4,321,000
Davis Love III…$4,222,000
Vijay Singh…$4,054,000
Kenny Perry…$3,955,000
–Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett is one dumb Buckeye.
A one-on-one get together was set up with Hall of Famer Marcus
Allen shortly after Allen’s induction into Canton last weekend.
Marcus waited for an hour, Clarett didn’t show. And so it only
seems appropriate that Maurice Clarett be inducted into the Bar
Chat Dirtball Hall of Shame for this and many other actions he’s
taken in just the past year.
–Ben and J. Lo are history, following Ben’s trip to the strip club.
J. Lo was then spotted club hopping without her engagement
ring on. Men, she could be available soon, though J. Lo appears
to be high maintenance.
Top 3 songs for the week of 8/8/70: #1 “(They Long To Be)
Close To You” (Carpenters) #2 “Make It With You” (Bread) #3
“Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours” (Stevie Wonder)… mush
week.
Detroit Tigers Quiz Answers: 1) World Series champs: 1935,
1945, 1968, 1984. The last 3 were also the last 3 pennant
winners. 2) Bill Gullickson is the last 20-game winner, 20-9,
1991. 3) Mickey Lolich is the all-time leader in shutouts with
39. 4) Al Kaline leads with 399 career homers. 5) Rocky
Colavito was the last to drive in 140, 1961. [Cecil Fielder’s top
was 133. Hank Greenberg holds the all-time record with 183 in
1937. He had 4 years of 146 or higher. 6) Last batting champ
was Norm Cash, with his stupendous .361 in 1961. Cash played
that year with a corked bat, or so the story goes.
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday.
