Kansas City Royals Quiz (1969-2003): 1) Most RBI, season? 2)
1994 A.L. rookie of the year? 3) Who are the only two players
to have their uniform retired? 4) Who is the only 3-time, 20-
game winner? 5) Who is the career leader in wins? [Answers to
4 and 5 are different.] 6) Who are the only two with 1,000 RBI?
7) For a year’s supply of beer (or $3.00, whichever is smaller),
who was the first player taken by the Royals in the expansion
draft? Answers below.
Ray Stevens
So I’m listening to the local oldies station the other day and a
1968 tune “Mr. Businessman” comes on. I had forgotten what a
neat one it was, sung by Ray Stevens.
Born Harold Ray Ragsdale in Clarksdale, GA, 1939, Ray was
musically gifted as a young lad, particularly in classical piano,
and by the time he was in high school (Albany, GA) he had
formed his own R&B band with some friends, playing local
clubs and at dances. Ray was an ambitious youth…he also found
time to work as a DJ on weekends…plus he had a good sense of
humor so he did standup during his band’s breaks.
Ray grew up liking R&B acts such as the Coasters and Drifters
but when Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis hit it big with rockabilly,
Ray was hooked.
In 1956 the family moved to Atlanta and Ray began taking his
songs around to publishers. He got a recording contract in 1957
but when things didn’t immediately pan out he opted for college,
attending Georgia State University and majoring in classical
piano.
In 1959 he recorded a single “Sergeant Preston of the Yukon”
that sold 200,000 copies before running up against copyright
laws (seems there was a program of that name that didn’t like it’s
title being used), but Ray had established himself as a novelty
songwriter.
Now ‘Ray Stevens’ (an early producer convinced him to take his
mother’s maiden name), Ray received his B.A. and moved to
Nashville. In 1962 he had a top 40 hit with “Jeremiah Peabody’s
Polyunsaturated Quick Dissolving Fast Acting Pleasant Tasting
Green and Purple Pills.” This ungodly title was followed by the
#5 “Ahab the Arab.” Needless to say, this latter effort wouldn’t
exactly be considered politically correct these days.
The following year Stevens had a #17 hit, “Harry The Hairy
Ape,” but he realized he didn’t want to be typecast as a novelty
songwriter so he went into arranging and producing for a few
years, working with the likes of Patti Page, Brook Benton,
Brenda Lee and Charlie Rich.
In 1966 he went back to recording and his new label allowed him
to do both comic and serious tunes. And so it was in 1968 that
he recorded “Mr. Businessman” which I was surprised to see
peaked at just #28. It deserved better.
Not that this tune ranks with the all-time greats, but in light of
the corporate scandals and bad behavior of the past few years, let
alone the rat race we all still live in, Stevens was ahead of his
time.
Mr. Businessman
Itemize the things you covet
As you squander through your life
Bigger cars, bigger houses
Term insurance for your wife
Tuesday evenings with your harlot
And on Wednesdays it’s your charlatan
analyst, he’s high upon your list
You’ve got air conditioned sinuses
And dark disturbing doubts about religion
And you keep those cards and letters going out
While your secretary’s tempting you
Your morals are exempting you from guilt and shame
Heaven knows you’re not to blame
[Chorus]
You better, Take care of business Mr. Businessman
What’s your plan?
Get down to business Mr. Businessman if you can
(Before it’s too late and you throw your life away)
Did you see your children growing up today
And did you hear the music of their laughter
As they set about to play
Did you catch the fragrance of those roses in your garden
Did the morning sunlight warm your soul,
Brighten up your day
Do you qualify to be alive
or is the limit of your senses so as only to survive
Hey yeah…..
Spending counterfeit incentive
Wasting precious time and health
Placing value on the worthless
Disregarding priceless wealth
You can wheel and deal the best of them
And steal it from the rest of them
You know the score, their ethics are a bore
Eighty-six anesthetic crutches prop you to the top
Where the smiles are all synthetic
And the ulcers never stop
When they take that final inventory,
Yours will be the same sad story everywhere
No one will really care, no one more lonely than
This rich important man, let’s have your autograph
Endorse your epitaph
[Chorus…end]
—
Sorry, I imagine some of you are wracking your brain for the
tune. Anyway, continuing with Stevens’s career, after “Mr.
Businessman” he had a #8 hit in ’69 with “Gitarzan,” while
“Along Came Jones” peaked at #27, and then in 1970 he
rocketed to #1 with the timely “Everything Is Beautiful.” Now I
know what some of you are thinking…this tune was too
schmaltzy. Hell, I still like it and I paid for this site. [To
paraphrase Ronald Reagan.] The times were different in ’70;
pretty ugly, to say the least.
Stevens went back to his comedy / novelty roots again in 1974 as
he brilliantly capitalized on a new craze, streaking. “The Streak”
hit #1 for three weeks (beating out the Jackson 5’s “Dancing
Machine”).
[Here’s some real trivia. Before “The Streak” hit the top, Grand
Funk’s “The Loco-Motion” was #1. Then Paul McCartney &
Wings succeeded Stevens with “Band On The Run”.]
Ray was doing some country music as well during these years
and in 1975 he had a #14 pop / #3 country hit with his rendition
of “Misty.” Find a copy of this if you can’t remember it.
Brilliant stuff…winning Stevens a second Grammy; the first
having been for “Everything Is Beautiful.”
Back in 1969-70, Stevens started guesting on the Andy Williams
Show and he had his own summer replacement series in ’70. He
was also TNN’s Music City News top comic 9 straight years.
So we quaff an ale to Ray Stevens, a terrific entertainer.
[Primary source for the above, “Country Music: The
Encyclopedia,” by Irwin Stambler & Grelun Landon]
Stuff
–In researching the above I stumbled on a bit concerning the
great Junior Samples of “Hee Haw” fame. Now if you didn’t
love Junior, well, let’s just say you ain’t drinking no beer with
the editor, that’s for sure. But did you know he only had a 3rd-
grade education? Of course his used-car salesman bit always
ended with Samples showing a fictional phone number BR549,
later adopted by the country band BR5-49. [Samples died in
1983 at the age of 57.]
–The road upon which the Olympic marathon is going to be run
is still weeks away from completion, according to Liz Robbins of
the New York Times. Both the men’s and women’s races begin
in the village of Marathon, 17 miles from Athens, and here we
are less than two months from the women’s race and like all the
projects for the Olympics it’s a last minute rush job to finish the
task. While 90% of the Greek people supposedly support the
Games, as one local merchant in Marathon put it “We’ve known
about this for seven years and it’s only been the last two years
that they have been working.” Try last two months.
–Back in the 1950s, music radio was rocked by the payola
scandal whereby DJs were paid cash by the record companies to
spin their tunes. But as Jeff Leeds reports in the L.A. Times,
today the record labels are basically doing the same thing, only
now it’s disguised in the form of ‘advertisements,’ a perfectly
legal thing to do as long as the song is identified as being part of
an ad. Evidently, Avril Lavigne’s current hit “Don’t Tell Me” is
spun a gazillion times late at night as her label picks up cheap
spots. The ratings agencies, however, have a real problem with
this. In other words, if the record company is paying for 10 plays
in a 4 or 5 hour period (which is what is happening in a few
cases), it’s still hitting the play lists as 10 plays, ad or no ad, and
thus can drastically influence the Top 40 or ‘hot’ lists.
–Madison Square Garden decided to dump legendary announcer
Marv Albert after 36 years because Albert refused to cut back on
his criticism of the New York Knicks. They were also trying to
cut his salary. A-holes. Johnny Mac and I thought it was
impossible to screw up the Garden and its franchises more than
they already have been. Alas, we didn’t consider just what jerks
the Dolans were.
–Ulrich Inderbinen died at the age of 103. Now this was an
extraordinary guy. Born in 1900 in the town of Zermatt,
Switzerland, Inderbinen began working as a mountain guide in
1925 and over the years he climbed the nearby Matterhorn over
370 times, the last being at the age of 90. And with all the
danger involved in his sport, Ulrich never suffered more than a
minor shoulder injury.
–Judge Whitman Knapp passed away at 95. It was in the early
1970s that Judge Knapp was appointed by then New York Mayor
John Lindsay to investigate reports of widespread corruption in
the New York City Police Department, charges most famously
levied by whistle-blower Frank Serpico. While Knapp gained
only a few convictions, he castigated both Lindsay and Police
Commissioner Howard Leary for their lack of oversight. Of
course many of you should be familiar with the film “Serpico,” a
classic. Rent it if you’re not. This carries the “Bar Chat Seal of
Approval.”
–Drat! HBO’s “Deadwood” did far better in the ratings than I
thought it was doing, which has already led to a big pickup in
tourism in the Black Hills of South Dakota. I was hoping this
region would be our little secret, know what I’m sayin’? Can’t
wait to go back, though. “Deadwood” is set to return next
March. I thought the final episode, by the way, was terrific.
–Goodness gracious, the Lakers blow. Congratulations to all
you Pistons fans out there. And you didn’t riot!
–“America’s Funniest Home Videos” outdrew the PGA’s Buick
Classic last Sunday, after ABC abruptly ended coverage of a
playoff to go to the former. Truly depressing. Our society is
doomed.
–Back in January I picked the winners of this year’s four golf
majors. For the U.S. Open I’m going with Tiger, having struck
out with David Toms in the Masters.
–Who was the first black U.S.-born golf professional? New
Jersey’s John Shippen (1879-1968), who was the pro at Shady
Rest Country Club (Scotch Plains, NJ) from 1924-1950. It was
Star-Ledger sportswriter Jerry Izenberg who first brought this to
everyone’s attention and Shippen’s once unmarked gravesite in
Linden, N.J. has now been appropriately recognized. Shippen’s
name comes up each time the Open is held at Shinnecock
because in 1896 at the age of 16, Shippen, a caddie at the course,
finished 5th out of 32 competitors.
–Lance Armstrong strongly denies he’s been ‘juiced’ all these
years. One of his former associates wrote a book saying that the
5-time winner of the Tour de France aggressively covered up
needle marks on his arms.
–In just the past week, two players have set new team hitting
streak marks in the big leagues. Houston’s Jeff Kent at 25 and
the Chicago White Sox’ Carlos Lee, whose own streak is now 28
as of this writing.
–Meant to note this last time…June 11 – 15, 1938. Johnny
Vander Meer, “The Dutch Master” (one of the all time great
nicknames), threw back-to-back no-hitters. As us fans like to say
this is one record that will never be broken because for starters
it’s never been equaled. Vander Meer tossed no-nos for
Cincinnati against the Boston Braves, 3-0, and Brooklyn
Dodgers, 6-0. Just 23 and in his first full season, Vander Meer
finished up the campaign 15-10 and it would have been easy to
project superstardom for him, but he ended up just 119-121 for
his career, though he led the N.L. in strikeouts 1941-43 and lost
two years to military service, 1944-45.
Here’s a further tidbit from the book “Baseball Anecdotes” by
Daniel Okrent and Steve Wulf.
“It was in the first night game in Ebbets Field that Johnny
Vander Meer threw his second consecutive no-hitter…He barely
made it. To the first batter in the ninth inning, Buddy Hassett, he
threw three wild pitches before getting him out on a ground ball.
“Then he walked Babe Phelps. He walked Cookie Lavagetto.
And, loading the bases, he walked Dolf Camilli on four pitches.
He still had a 6-0 lead and manager Bill McKechnie was
probably going to let Vander Meer keep walking batters until the
score was 6-5.
“He managed to get Ernie Koy on a fielder’s choice (force out at
home), and then all that stood in his way was Leo Durocher –
‘The All-American Out,’ he’d once been called. With the count
at two strikes, Vander Meer threw a pitch that, to his mind, got a
chunk of the plate, but umpire Bill Stewart said it was a ball.
Durocher finally made the game-ending out (a sinking line drive
to center), and as the celebrations began the umpire came to the
mound. ‘John,’ he said, ‘I blew that pitch. If you hadn’t gotten
him out I was the guy to blame for it.’
“Said Vander Meer to Donald Honig nearly forty years later, ‘If
Durocher had got a base hit, would he have come out and said it
anyway?’”
Vander Meer made more than $10,000 in endorsements off his
achievement.
By the way, Vander Meer walked a lot of hitters, including 162
in 1943 and 12 in one game in ’48.
–Looking at the Dutch Master, I had forgotten that a White Sox
hurler, Monty Stratton, went 15-9 in 1938. At 26 he had a bright
future ahead of him. Then, that winter, he blew his leg off in a
hunting accident.
–And for all you graduates out there… “Graduation Day,” best
version being by the Beach Boys.
There’s a time for joy
A time for tears
A time we’ll treasure through the years
We’ll remember always
Graduation Day
At the senior prom
We danced ‘til three
And there you gave your heart to me
We’ll remember always
Graduation Day
Though we leave in sorrow
All the joys we’ve known
We can face tomorrow
Knowing we’ll never walk alone
When the ivy walks
Are far behind
No matter where our paths may wind
We’ll remember always
Graduation day
We’ll remember always
Gra-du-a-tion….Day!
Top 3 songs for the week of 6/17/67: #1 “Groovin’” (The Young
Rascals) #2 “Respect” (Aretha Franklin) #3 “She’d Rather Be
With Me” (The Turtles)
Kansas City Royals Quiz Answers: 1) RBI, season: Mike
Sweeney, 144 in 2000. 2) 1994 A.L. rookie of the year: Bob
Hamelin, DH. 3) George Brett, #5, and Frank White, #20, are
the only two to have their uniform retired. 4) Dennis Leonard is
the only three-time 20-game winner. [20-12, 21-17, 20-11…
1977, 78, 80] 5) Paul Splittorff leads in career wins with 166.
Leonard had 144. Saberhagen is down the list. 6) 1,000 RBI:
George Brett / 1,595 and Hal McRae / 1,012. 7) Pitcher Roger
Nelson was the first player taken in the 1969 expansion draft.
Opening Day Lineup for the Royals, 4/8/69…a 4-3 win over the
Twins.
Lou Piniella, LF
Jerry Adair, 2B
Ed Kirkpatrick, CF
Joe Foy, 3B
Chuck Harrison, 1B
Bob Oliver, RF
Ellie Rodriguez, C
Jackie Hernandez, SS
Wally Bunker, P
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday.
