College Football Quiz, Rushing, Division I-A: *The correct
responses to the following all have NFL experience. 1) What
current NFL running back holds the record for most yards
rushing in a game with 406? 2) Name the three to rush for 6,000
in their college careers. 3) Who holds the record for most yards
rushing in a single season? 4) Who holds the record for most
yards rushing, career, by a quarterback? Answers below.
College Location Quiz: So I happen to glance at the men’s
college basketball scores from Tuesday and see the following…
Trevecca Nazarene 77…Campbellsville 59
What states are these two located in? Answer below.
—
Shark Attack
Now you may have read on the Drudge Report or elsewhere
about the 77-year-old woman who was killed by a Great White
off the coast of Cape Town, South Africa the other day. But I
did some extensive research of my own to get the definitive
story. From South Africa’s Pretoria News:
“Brian de Jager, who works at Sunny Cove Manor said he would
greet (victim Tyna) Webb every morning as he strolled along
Jaggers Walk on his way to buy a newspaper.
“ ‘This morning I took my usual walk and I saw Tyna swimming.
The next minute I saw this fin coming through the water, and
then the discoloration in the water. It was so quick – it all took
place in only 30 seconds.’
“ ‘She was such a lovely lady, with an amazing carriage and
grace – such a beautiful person. This is a terrible shock.’
“Fisherman Jeffrey Andries saw the attack through binoculars
from the fishermen’s lookout on Elsies Peak. He waved a flag to
alert the beachgoers.
“ ‘It was about 7:00 in the morning. I saw the lady doing the
backstroke. She was swimming directly into the path of the
shark. Then I saw splashes. The shark turned, then pulled her
under the water.’”
“Other eye-witnesses said they had seen the shark thrash around
then come out of the water and down on a swimmer.”
Of course you’ve all heard that a helicopter later spotted the
Great White and it was estimated to be at least 18 feet in length.
But I thought I’d review the shark fatality count, as put together
by the Florida Museum of Natural History’s Shark Attack File.
2000…11 fatalities, worldwide
2001…4
2002…3
2003…4 (Australia, California, Fiji, South Africa)
2004…not yet available
Folks, these figures are way too low. I say we’re averaging
about 700 a year, but the UN, in concert with tourist bureaus
around the globe, is hiding the truth, just as they are in the oil-
for-food scandal.
Stuff
There is no doubt that Takeru Kobayashi is the greatest athlete of
our generation and a hundred years from now they’ll be
comparing him to the likes of Jim Thorpe, Jesse Owens and
Michael Jordan.
Kobayashi proved himself yet again in eating 69 White Castle-
sized hamburgers in 8 minutes. You’ll recall this is the lad who
has been cleaning up at the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest
each Fourth of July. Second place, incidentally, went to Sonya
Thomas but she scarfed down only 46.
–I’m in mourning…growing up my favorite cartoon was
“Deputy Dawg.” The voice for the lead just passed away…
Dayton Allen.
–Philadelphia receiver Terrell Owens, who skillfully caught
Nicolette Sheridan the other night, has 12 touchdown receptions
in the Eagles’ first 9 games. The record for a season is 22 by
Jerry Rice, 1987. Next is the 18 by Mark Clayton, 1984, and
Sterling Sharpe, 1994.
–Eddie George watch. Now the over / under is 3.5 yards per
carry and as expected George is making it close.
9 games…122 carries, 411 yards…3.4 avg.
Remember, bet with your head, not over it.
–NASCAR “Chase for the Championship”
Catch a bit of the action this coming Sunday. It could be
exciting as the following scramble at the finish for the title,
especially the first three. One bad pit stop, for example, and it’s
all over.
1. Kurt Busch…6,346 points
2. Jimmie Johnson…6,328
3. Jeff Gordon…6,325
4. Dale Earnhardt Jr. …6,274
5. Mark Martin…6,264
By the way, 42% of NASCAR fans are female. And on a totally
unrelated topic, don’t forget to pick up Shania Twain’s latest,
including the DVD, just as your editor has. It’s the perfect
Christmas gift…to yourself.
–Interesting tale out of Louisiana concerning the beavers that
were found using dollar bills in a mixture of sheetrock for their
homes. According to the AP, the money is part of a stash stolen
from the Lucky Dollar Casino in Greensburg, Louisiana. Or so
authorities would have you believe. We, however, have the real
story.
Coyotes from Mexico are bringing drug cartel money back
across the border. It’s a perilous journey, as you know, across
the Arizona desert, but if anyone can make it work it’s the
coyotes. They then hand it off to the beavers, who stash it in
their dams until the heat is off (or the pond dries up…whichever
comes first). The issue then is…whom do the beavers hand it
over to before it finds its way into the Cayman Islands or secret
Swiss accounts? You guessed it…the sharks.
–I saw the following note in “Transactions” Wednesday:
College
“Becker – Named Amy King assistant football coach.”
Now I’m thinking, where’s Becker? Well, it’s in Worcester,
MA. Then I’m thinking; what kind of football program does it
have? Well, from the school’s web site it appears that the
program is starting up in 2005. So then I’m thinking; nothing
against women in football, but isn’t it kind of strange to have a
woman as…………….oh, never mind. We wish them the best.
–The New York Mets have just released their schedule for 2005.
Opening up on April 4 with 3 in Cincinnati and then 3 in Atlanta,
the Mets come home on April 11 to play Houston. Which means
one thing:
If the Mets acquire Sammy Sosa, as rumored, I would expect
Sosa to go 3 for 24 in his first six games with 12 strikeouts. He
then appears for the home opener, is booed unmercifully, leaves
the game in the third inning and exits Shea Stadium. The Mets
release him for insubordination and the issue of his pay is tied up
in the courts for ten years. That’s probably the best us Mets fans
can hope for at this point.
–OK, college football fans. I stirred up a mini-hornets’ nest with
my comment that Michigan State was the best 5-5 club in
history. Of course the angry notes were all from Rutgers fans.
“Hey, we beat them this year. Where does that leave us?”
Well, entering play this weekend, you’re 4-5. Beat Navy this
weekend and maybe I’ll name Rutgers the best 5-5 team in the
history of college football. Of course there’s no way you’re
beating my Navy squad.
Then you have Penn State, now 3-7, with their three wins being
over mighty Akron, Central Florida and Indiana. But check out
how many points they’ve scored in their seven losses.
7…3…7…13…4…10…7
[And the Nittany Lions’ hoops team lost on Tuesday to South
Carolina State. The entire campus is on suicide watch.]
As for the Bowl Championship Series (BCS), the latest poll is as
we suspected it would be.
1. USC
2. Oklahoma
3. Auburn
4. California
5. Texas
6. Utah
7. Michigan
Utah should hang on to the #6 slot that would ensure a game in
the BCS finals. Michigan, a worthy selection, could still get a
bid even if the others don’t stumble. Boston College, the Big
East winner (assuming it defeats Temple and Syracuse) gets the
8th slot. So what we want is USC playing Oklahoma in the
mythical title contest, but with Auburn and Utah still undefeated
as well. Then we could argue all winter over who the real
champion is. Otherwise, we have to talk about Iraq and the
NBA.
–It’s been about 55 years since biologist Alfred Kinsey authored
the book “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male,” a
groundbreaking tome. With the movie “Kinsey” premiering this
week, all manner of newspapers and magazines are running
stories on the man. So I thought I’d weigh in.
Based on confidential interviews with over 1,500 subjects,
Kinsey reported that 92% of men ———– and half of married
men had had ———— ——-. A full 37% of men said they had
had some form of ———- experience at some point in their
lives.
In 1953, Kinsey’s second volume was “Sexual Behavior in the
Human Female.” Here we learned that 62% of women ———–,
half said they engaged in pre——- — and………..oh, I can’t go
on, this is too embarrassing.
–Who are the Spitler brothers and why should you care? All
four, Tim, 19, Chris, 26, Pat, 25 and Andrew, 23, walked onto
Division I college basketball squads. [Holy Cross, Stonybrook,
Canisius, and Saint Peter’s.] Now that’s pretty cool. A couple of
them ended up starting before their careers were over. [Erik
Brady / USA Today]
–Speaking of brothers, here’s another uplifting tale. Have any of
you seen “Growing Up Gotti”? I commented on the first show
last summer and how obnoxious, and unlikable, the children of
Victoria Gotti (daughter of John) truly are.
So it was great to see the following in the New York Post the
other day, PAGE SIX.
“Carmine, 18, and John, 17, took a beating last weekend after
they allegedly harassed a 15-year-old girl at a Long Island mall.
“The 17-year-old brother of the aggrieved girl delivered a beat-
down to the Gotti boys after they ‘pinched her butt and made
disgusting comments’…
“The enraged brother and two of his friends approached the
Gottis and their 10-person crew after his sister complained about
their boorish behavior.
“ ‘Next thing you know this kid was really beating the —- out of
Carmine,’ a witness to the melee told PAGE SIX.”
Unfortunately, now the families have to settle this.
–It was a week of bad behavior all around, witness the Vibe
Awards in Santa Monica. I’m going to comment further on this
in my “Week in Review” column (not that I author it), but in
case you missed the action, Quincy Jones and Snoop Dogg were
presenting an award when someone came up to Dr. Dre and
punched him. In the ensuing chaos another fellow was stabbed.
Wendy Thermos of the Los Angeles Times picks up the story.
“Dre’s bodyguards then went after the man (who punched him).
“The incident sparked a melee in which chairs and punches were
thrown….
“Among those shown in television news footage at the ceremony
was rap impresario Marion ‘Suge’ Knight. He and Dre co-
founded Death Row Records, which Knight still heads. But they
had a falling out that resulted in Dre’s leaving the company and
founding his own label, Aftermath. Aftermath, which signed
such rap stars as Eminem and Snoop Dogg, has been hugely
successful, while Death Row has languished.
“After Knight was released in 2001 from a five-year prison term
for assault and weapons violations, Dre obtained a court order to
keep Knight away from him….”
You get the picture; though I should add police are looking for
“Young Buck,” a rapper who hangs with the G Unit, 50 Cent’s
crowd.
–And then you have role models like Barry Bonds. First the
facts …Bonds won his record 7th NL MVP, becoming the oldest
to win it at age 40. Bonds is the only player with more than
three, for crying out loud, and he’s won it the last four years to
boot. Among the major sports, only Wayne Gretzky (9) has
more. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had 6.
Bonds had an on-base percentage of .609 this season, shattering
his own major league record, and his 232 walks were 34 more
than his previous record in this category…let alone 100 more
than anyone else in baseball. Hell, he had 120 intentional walks.
Astounding.
So what did BALCO Barry have to say? When queried about the
steroid scandal he replied, “I don’t owe anyone a response to
anything.” Then, when the issue of his training regimen and his
BALCO relationship came up, Barry said this:
“I’ve been dealing with adversity my whole life. I had four black
kids in my school. The only thing that affects me is that these
things are hurtful to my family, hurtful to my children.”
When asked about admitted steroid user, and training partner,
Gary Sheffield (who had his own problems of a different sort this
week involving a 10-year-old video of his wife with R. Kelly
before Sheffield and his wife were married), Bonds said:
“I love Gary Sheffield. I just don’t have any respect for the
media for having African-American players degrade other
African-Americans. I won’t degrade any African-American
players or any minority players.”
Asked, then, about the link between him and his former trainer /
nutritionist, Bonds told a female reporter, “I think you’re going
too deep, sweetheart, so we’ll end that real quick.” He then hung
up. [Lee Jenkins / New York Times]
Well, it would appear that Mr. Bonds is odds-on favorite to win
the coveted Bar Chat “Dirtball of the Year” award, but you never
know. When the academy members vote, sometimes the ballots
are split between two leading candidates and then a third sneaks
in. By the way, we’re having trouble lining up Garry Shandling
to host the show. Nicolette Sheridan is a possibility.
–Anaheim’s Vladimir Guerrero won the AL MVP award and as
Johnny Mac pointed out, the last American League player from
the East to win it was ‘Jabba the Hut’ Vaughn back in 1995.
Incidentally, Yankees fans, who was the last from this franchise
to win it? ……………………………….Don Mattingly, 1985.
–Sports Illustrated had a story on the gunners of yesteryear in
college basketball, men like Freeman Williams, Dwight (Bo)
Lamar, Johnny Neumann, Rick Mount and, of course, the all-
time best, Pistol Pete Maravich.
Speaking of Maravich, consider this. In today’s college game, to
score more than 30 in a contest is huge. Last season, for
example, the high game for Division I was 45 points in a double-
overtime contest by Old Dominion’s Alex Loughton. This was
less than a point higher than Maravich’s ‘career’ average.
–From time to time a newspaper or publication will have a story
on how overbuilt the nation is with new golf courses. SI’s E.M.
Swift has a great piece in the current issue.
According to the National Golf Foundation, “there were 11,178
courses for 23 million golfers in 1990. By 2003 the number of
courses had soared more than 32%, to 14,827, almost all of the
increase coming in daily-fee facilities as the number of private
clubs remained fairly constant. There are 1,165 more courses in
the pipeline, 415 of which are currently under construction.
Meanwhile, the number of golfers has risen 15%, to 27.4 million,
but that figure includes golfers who play as few as one round
each year. Only about half of the 27.4 million are so-called core
golfers, who play eight or more rounds a year, a segment that has
been shrinking since 1997, from 13.5 million to 13.2 million.
Rounds per year in the U.S. have gone down for the past three
full seasons, from an all-time high of 518.4 million in 2000 to
494.9 million in 2003.” [Fewer rounds than were played in 1999
…496.4 million.]
Here’s another interesting tidbit from Swift’s piece.
“ ‘A rule of thumb for course owners is you have to charge $1 of
greens fees for every $100,000 of invested capital,’ says Stuart
Lindsay of Edgehill Consulting, a golf-industry specialist based
in Mequon, Wis. ‘So if you spend $12 million building a course,
you have to charge $120 in greens fees. Very few people can
afford to spend that on a regular basis, and many who do already
belong to a private club. So the guy goes under, and the new
owner who buys the course at auction for $7.5 million only has
to charge $75 a round. That has a ripple effect throughout the
market, deflating prices. This is a lousy time to be an owner, but
it’s a great time to be a golfer.’”
–Regarding my piece last time on Fred “The Hammer”
Williamson, I noted that he had a part in the movie M*A*S*H.
What I forgot to add was the name of his character, which Mark
R. reminded me was “Spearchucker” Jones. [Mark added that in
today’s politically correct world, chances are strong producers
couldn’t get away with this.] Tim Brown, by the way, played the
part in the first few episodes of the M*A*S*H television series
but it was pulled when research turned up the fact there were no
black surgeons serving in the armed forces during the Korean
War.
–Sorry, this is for my fellow Wake Forest alums, but did you
guys see we got a #1 seed in the NCAA men’s soccer
tournament? And did you also see that in the ACC tournament,
Virginia defeated us for the 9th straight time in tourney play and
it was the 4th straight year we lost by a goal to the Wahoos in the
semis?
[Pssst….college basketball started….I’ll let all of you off this
first week….but get ready for non-stop Demon Deacon action.]
–Harry K. passed along a piece on Wal-Mart and its move into
the affordable wine business. Wal-Mart is teaming with E&J
Gallo Winery to come up with a line of $2 – $5 offerings. A few
suggested names…
White Trashfindel
NASCARbernet
Chef Boyardeaux
Chateau des Moines
Nasti Spumante
And as Harry notes, all of these could be served with both white
meat (Possum) and red meat (squirrel).
–I thought I’d share with you a letter I received from
“Strathmore’s Who’s Who,” acceptance code 29P168.
“Dear Mr. Editor:
“You’ve been selected by our research staff as one of several
candidates from ——– to be included in the forthcoming 2004-
2005 edition of Strathmore’s Who’s Who.
“This unique volume recognizes those men and women who
have achieved success in their respective fields….
“We believe your accomplishments, as a highly respected
professional in your field (creator of Bar Chat, “Dirtball of the
Year,” and elephant tales), merit very earnest and intense
consideration for inclusion.”
Friends, I am truly humbled by this honor and I will strive to do
an even better job for you in the future. But first, I have so many
people to thank….my parents, for starters, and my brother, who
showed me the way when it came to quaffing beer. I’d list a few
more names but I hear the music.
Top 3 songs for the week of 11/18/67: #1 “To Sir With Love”
(Lula) #2 “Soul Man” (Sam & Dave) #3 “Incense And
Peppermints” (Strawberry Alarm Clock…lead guitarist Ed King
was part of Lynyrd Skynyrd, 1973-75, and co-wrote “Sweet
Home Alabama”)
College Football Quiz Answers: 1) LaDainian Tomlinson holds
the single game rushing record with 406 yards for TCU vs.
UTEP. Carrying the ball 43 times he accumulated 59 yards in
the first quarter, 60 in the second, 121 in the third and 166 in the
fourth. 2) 6,000 yard club: Ron Dayne / Wisconsin…6,397
(1996-99); Ricky Williams / Texas…6,279 (1995-98); Tony
Dorsett / Pitt…6,082 (1973-76). 3) Barry Sanders / Oklahoma
State holds the record with 2,628 yards in a single season, 1988.
He did this in 11 games, or 238.9 per contest, and averaged 7.64
per carry. 4) Career leader, rushing, QB: Antwaan Randle El /
Indiana…3,895 (1998-01).
College Location Quiz Answer: Trevecca Nazarene is located in
Nashville, TN; Campbellsville is in Campbellsville, KY.
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday.
**And don’t forget. In two weeks I’ll be reporting from the
PGA’s Q-School out in Palm Springs. I promise a good tale or
two.
