NBA Quiz: OK, casual sports fans…list the top ten scorers in
the NBA this season thru Sunday’s games. Answer below.
J-E-T-S….JETS JETS JETS!
M-E-T-S…METS METS METS!
D-E-A-C-S…DEACS DEACS DEACS!
Oh, baby………what a weekend for the kid. First, in case you
missed the ending, from a story in the New York Daily News
that encapsulates Saturday’s thrilling, and bizarre overtime
victory for the Jets over the Chargers.
“(Jets linebacker) Eric Barton had just committed one of the
dumbest penalties in NFL playoff history, which allowed the
Chargers to send a game the Jets had won into overtime, when he
walked over to Chad Pennington on the sideline.
“The Jets were trying to regain their composure before OT after
Barton’s fourth down roughing penalty on Drew Brees with 16
seconds remaining. The pass, with Brees in full retreat from the
2-yard line, already had been released and was on its way to
being batted down in the end zone. The Jets were celebrating.
“What they didn’t know was, incredibly, Barton had slammed
Brees with a forearm to the head. Brees, with another chance,
then hit Antonio Gates to tie it up.
“So, Barton could use all the friends he could find. Pennington
was there for him.
“ ‘I need you to get me out of this,’ Barton said.
“ ‘I got your back,’ Pennington said.”
The Jets won, in spite of Barton, and it’s going to be an exciting
week for football fans in these parts.
[San Diego coach Marty Schottenheimer should also be fired for
his godawful play calling in OT.]
That was part one. Part two………..
METS GET BELTRAN……..METS GET BELTRAN!
Carlos Beltran is coming to the Mets! Who wudda thunk it?!
Now if we can just keep Jose Reyes healthy, and if Pedro
Martinez can win 17…………we…could…be…going…all
…the…way!
Part three…
Well, it’s not on a level with the first two, but my Wake Forest
Demon Deacons are off to a flying start in ACC play, with
impressive road wins at Virginia and Clemson in most
convincing fashion, and some of us are getting awful excited
about Wake – UNC next Saturday, 1:30, ABC-TV.
But back to the Jets [4:30 next Saturday…memo to self, buy
beer], some of you are undoubtedly wondering about the Bar
Chat Guarantee. True, I took it off last week since the Jets
backed into the playoffs. But it’s back on!! [I’m the editor…I
have this kind of power.] So kids, don’t be afraid to bet your
lunch money on the Jets now going all the way to win the Super
Bowl. Just understand the Bar Chat Guarantee is void where
prohibited and you must place all illegal bets through your
father’s bookie….or Fast Eddie in the high school cafeteria.
Battle of the Bulge, part II
Last time we covered the story of General McAuliffe and
Bastogne. We pick it up on December 19, 1944, as General
Eisenhower is meeting with his top staff to decide how to beat
back the German offensive that had begun three days earlier. As
bad as it was for the Americans, Ike said “The present situation is
to be regarded as one of opportunity for us and not of disaster.”
General Patton grinned and said, “Hell, let’s have the guts to let
the sons of bitches go all the way to Paris. Then we’ll really cut
‘em off and chem ‘em up!”
“No,” Eisenhower replied. “The enemy will never be allowed to
cross the Meuse.”
The Americans were fighting back in the Ardennes and had soon
developed a solid line of defense. Patton’s Third Army was to
slice through the German flank and relieve the vital road to
Bastogne. Ike asked him when he could attack. “On December
22, with three divisions,” Patton replied.
The other generals shook their heads in disbelief. Patton was
proposing a move of enormous complexity. But he rather
enjoyed the situation. Lighting a cigar and pointing to the
German penetrations on the map, he said “This time the Kraut
has stuck his head in a meat grinder, and this time I’ve got the
handle.”
By December 26, Lieut. Colonel Creighton W. Abrams (later
known for his role in Vietnam) was ready to move his tank
battalion into Bastogne. He radioed Patton, seeking authorization
to attack.
“I sure as hell will!” Patton shouted. Standing up in the turret of
his tank, Abrams stuck a big cigar in his mouth and announced:
“We’re going in now. Let ‘er roll!”
As the tanks rolled in, a 19-year old private, James R. Hendrix,
armed only with a rifle, took on the crews of two German 88mm
artillery pieces that were pounding the Shermans. “Come on
out!” shouted Hendrix. A German poked his head up from a
foxhole. Hendrix shot him in the neck. Running to the next
foxhole, he smashed another German in the head with the butt of
his rifle, and charged straight at the muzzles of the two big guns.
The crews came out with their hands up. Hendrix’s brief one-
man war won him the Medal of Honor. Just one example of the
heroism that led to the lifting of the siege of Bastogne shortly
thereafter.
On December 30, the Allies launched their counteroffensive, but
the Germans fought back with ferocity. Then on New Year’s
Day, 1945, Hitler countered with what was called “The Great
Blow,” aimed at eliminating Allied air power that was proving so
lethal. At 8:00 AM, hundreds of fighter aircraft were unleashed
over Belgium, Holland and northern France, pounding Allied
airfields for two hours. The Great Blow, in one sense, was a
huge success. By 10:00 AM, 206 Allied aircraft had been
destroyed or damaged. But it was also virtual suicide for the
Germans, as the Luftwaffe lost 300 planes and 253 trained pilots.
The Luftwaffe never again took to the sky in such numbers.
But the Battle of the Bulge would rage on for almost another full
month. In January 1945, the U.S. army suffered more battle
casualties – over 39,000 – than in any other month in the fight
for northwest Europe.
It was also the hardest fighting. The Americans were now on the
attack, in waist-deep snow and in the face of sharp winds and
relentless artillery fire, which accounted for over half the
American casualties in the battle.
“People didn’t crumble and fall like they did in the Hollywood
movies,” said infantryman Bart Hagerman. “They were tossed in
the air and their blood splattered everywhere. And a lot of
people found themselves covered in blood and flesh of their
friends, and that’s a pretty tough thing for anybody to handle.”
But as Robert Georgen said: “Even when we became emotionally
disturbed over the death of a comrade blown to bits, our very
next thought was, despite the initial sorrow, ‘better him than
me.’” Then he added: “You would have to be there under
intolerable circumstances to understand our distorted value
system.”
Infantryman Bob Conroy recalled a moment when his foxhole
mate was ripped by a machine gun from roughly the left thigh
through to the right waist.
“He then told me that he was hit through the stomach as well.
Well, when you’re that far from your home base, and it’s
snowing and the temperature zero, you don’t have a chance. We
were cut off. The Germans had overrun our position and we
were in foxholes by ourselves, so we both knew he was going to
die.
“We had no morphine. We couldn’t ease (the pain), and so I
tried to knock him out. I took off his helmet, held his jaw up,
and just whacked it hard as I could, because he wanted to be put
out. That didn’t work and so I hit him up by the head with a
helmet and that didn’t work. Nothing worked. He slowly froze
to death, bled to death. The next morning, as I looked at our
gear, it looked as if I’d spent a day in a butcher shop.”
In January 1945, the American Army was still waiting for its full
shipment of winter boots. [You’ll recall from part one how
General Bradley screwed that one up.] Without them, some
men’s toes froze up to the size of softballs and turned black. If
gangrene set in, their feet had to be amputated. Men’s overcoats
became soaked with moisture and caked with mud and freezing
rain. The coats became so heavy that troops threw them away.
Finally, on January 8 Hitler authorized a withdrawal from the tip
of the Bulge and on the 16th most would say the battle was over,
though some fighting continued until January 28, the official date
in other accounts. The Germans then rallied to defend their
homeland, with further tragic consequences.
The Battle of the Bulge was almost entirely an American battle,
the biggest and costliest ever fought by the U.S. Army. 19,000
Americans were killed, 47,000 wounded and 15,000 captured.
The Germans suffered over 100,000 casualties.
The battle was also almost entirely a soldier’s battle, “a
confusing, close quarters slugfest won by thousands of small
fighting units, without much overall direction from
headquarters.” [Donald Miller] While it was described as
General Patton’s finest hour, when he was asked about his
incredible rescue mission at Bastogne, he laughed and replied:
“To tell you the truth, I didn’t have anything much to do with it.
All you need is confidence and good soldiers…
“I’ll put our goddam, bitching, belching, bellyaching G.I.s up
against any troops in the world.”
And so we honor the few remaining survivors of the Battle of the
Bulge, 60 years later; and most importantly honor the memory of
those who lost their lives, far from home.
[Sources: “The Story of World War II” Donald L. Miller; “The
Illustrated History of World War II” edited by George Constable]
Stuff
–Less than two weeks into the New Year and this much we
know. Elephants will win the “Animal of the Year” award in a
walk…and Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Randy Moss is
going to give Barry Bonds a run for his money in the “Dirtball of
the Year” category. Hopefully most of you saw Moss’s
performance, not only on the field late in the Green Bay game
but in interviews both prior to and after the contest.
Commissioner Paul Tagliabue has to stand up and suspend Moss
for at least one game, preferably two, at the start of next season.
[Doing so during the playoffs wouldn’t be realistic.]
And just a comment on the state of hair in the NFL. Some of
these guys are pigs. Linda D. added that the styles many of
the players in the NFL have these days, both whites and blacks,
is ridiculous. Couldn’t agree more, Linda. Home version of
‘Bar Chat: The Game’ coming to you in the mail….as soon as I
develop it.
–The Boston Red Sox’ Doug Mientkiewicz secured the baseball
that was the last out of the 2004 World Series, kept it, and now
the team wants it back. Mientkiewicz said he would lend it for
display but no way was he just giving it away. To which I say,
you are a true a-hole. What the hell did he do to deserve such a
prized possession?! Paul Weiler, a professor of law at Harvard,
gave his opinion to the New York Times’ Tyler Kepner.
“Certainly, if it had gone into the hands of a fan in the stands,
like the one who caught McGwire’s 70th home run, it belongs to
the person who paid to be there catching the ball. On the other
hand, Mientkiewicz is being paid by the Red Sox. To be out on
the field catching that ball, and as an employee, even a unionized
one, his rights likely are different.”
I agree with Weiler. This is also beyond absurd.
–The AFC was 44-20 vs. the NFC this season, the best record
ever for the AFC…in case you needed further proof which
conference is dominant.
The AFC’s playoff bound teams were 21-3 against the NFC,
while the NFC’s postseason teams were just 11-13 vs. the AFC.
–Nice game for Peyton Manning. Just your basic 457 yards
passing. Next Sunday”s game vs. New England should be a
classic.
–We note the breakup of Brad Pitt, 41, and Jennifer Aniston, 35,
after 4 ½ years of marriage and another two or so of shacking up.
The couple issued a statement, saying they will “remain
committed and caring friends.” Jennifer was photographed last
month not wearing her giant wedding band…so we all should
have known then. Bar Chat tried reaching both Brad and
Jennifer for a follow-up comment but we were unsuccessful.
However, if either would like to use this forum to air any dirty
laundry, we’d be happy to let them do so.
–Joe Flint of the Wall Street Journal had a story on the Weather
Channel and its quest for hot babes. As a result of a sex-
discrimination lawsuit filed by former on-air reporter Marny
Midkiff, word is coming out that executives are after a “sexier
look” and want “top buttons open in the blouse,” according to
Ms. Midkiff’s attorney.
And as a video of a staff meeting conducted by a Weather
Channel consultant in August 2003 revealed, programming chief
Terry Connelly “(cited) market research suggesting that female
viewers find the network’s female meteorologists to be
‘matronly,’ ‘dowdy,’ ‘bland’ and ‘nun-like.’ He tells women
who appear on-camera, ‘you are in the television business, and
you should understand…you will be picked apart far more than a
male… women pick apart women. They kind of just accept men
the way they are.’”
Well the weather babes are ‘dowdy’ and ‘nun-like.’ It’s time to
liven things up a bit…right guys? Personally, I’m sick of
watching CNBC during the day so I increasingly turn to the
Weather Channel, especially these days to see if the Sierra
Nevada Mountains picked up another 100 inches of packed
powder and to find out if any idiots were stranded on the
interstates traversing the Sierras without chains on their tires. So
it would be nice if the Weather Channel had some Sports
Illustrated swimsuit models on once and a while, know what I’m
sayin’?
–Congratulations to the Rutgers women’s basketball program,
which in a span of 8 days defeated #8 Texas, #4 TX and #1 LSU.
–New York City released its latest list of the top scofflaws.
Chris Palmieri, 42, owes $12,832 for 88 tickets. You talk about
an idiot. The city charges 9% interest a year, forever, on unpaid
tickets and now Palmieri can’t even register another vehicle if he
tried. Plus a hold has been placed on any assets of his, though
from a description of his home address, it appears he has none.
–In case you missed it, on Thursday the Pistons’ Richard
Hamilton became the first NBA player to lead his team in
scoring without making a field goal. Hamilton was 0-for-10
from the field, but 14-for-14 from the foul line as Detroit was
shelled by Memphis.
–Elvis celebrated his 70th birthday on Saturday by ordering a
massive banana split. Years ago I went to Graceland and when
the tour guide got to the racquetball court, he tried to convince us
schleps that Elvis had played for about four hours the night he
died. My work associate John and I looked at each other and
said, “Yeah, right…….”
–Formula One great Michael Schumacher lost his bodyguard in
the tsunami at Phuket, with Burkhard Cramer’s two sons
evidently perishing as well. So Schumacher has pledged $10
million to the relief effort.
But some of the other pledges and donations from the sports
world are absurd.
Like the San Francisco Giants auctioning off a breakfast with
manager Felipe Alou.
“Hey, Felipe, your brother Matty was a better hitter.”
I mean Felipe is a good guy and all, but why would you want to
have breakfast with him? Now if you’re going to both have a
few adult beverages and get him to let loose with some great
tales, that’s a different deal altogether. But breakfast? “You take
cream with your coffee, Felipe?”
Or how about Indiana Pacers thug Jermaine O’Neal, who said
he’d donate $1,000 for every point he scored against San
Antonio in a game on Thursday. Talk about a dumb idea. Ever
hear of the integrity of the game? O’Neal scored 32 in a losing
effort but had agreed prior to the contest to fork over $55,000 for
the 55 points he scored in the previous game. At least he
salvaged something out of this.
As for everyone else with a similarly idiotic idea, just give the
money for cryin’ out loud.
–There’s a story in Sunday’s Los Angeles Times on how the
Orange County / Santa Monica area should be very afraid over
the increasing threat from mountain lions. Author David Baron
compares it to the problem facing residents of Bombay these
days. Months ago I wrote of the leopards in a wildlife refuge on
the outskirts of this metropolis and Baron says the death toll is 19
over the last 12 months, including 10 in the month of June.
Unfortunately, the government in India is now rounding up
leopards, 16 at last count, and keeping them in concrete cages
rather than returning them to the refuge. But Southern
Californians need to make sure the sprawl in their region doesn’t
upset the homes of the cougars and mountain lions in the parks
nearby or they may meet a fate similar to the residents of Bombay.
[Of course I exaggerate…but I certainly wouldn’t be walking in
the Santa Monica mountains alone.]
–Final AP college football poll
1. USC
2. Auburn
3. Navy
4. Utah
5. Texas
Just seeing if you’re paying attention. One of the above actually
finished #24, still a super achievement. Oklahoma occupied its
slot.
–I commented the other day on Ashlee Simpson’s performance
at halftime of the Orange Bowl. In case you missed this fiasco,
here is the report from Isaac Guzman in the New York Daily
News.
“After a performance of ‘La La’ in which she couldn’t even sing
in turn with her ‘guide track,’ Simpson finally got the reception
she has deserved for a while.
“Outside of television studios controlled by producers and
beyond the reach of deejays dictated to by radio programmers are
ordinary Americans. And when a highly paid star like Ashlee
Simpson chokes, they’re not about to give her some courtesy
applause.
“That’s because Simpson has flouted one of the founding
principles of showbiz: Never let ‘em see you sweat. In being so
ill-prepared for the national stage, she has become the Wizard
without his curtain.….
“Ashlee made it easy. She took the stage. She sounded bad. We
booed.”
–It’s simply amazing how coaching salaries have boomed in just
the last few years. For example, the New Orleans Saints are
paying Jim Haslett $3 million a season over the course of his 5-
year contract. Jim Haslett?! $3 million?! Goodness gracious.
–Last chat I noted baseball great Wes Ferrell’s name and Phil W.
wrote in that not only is brother Rick in the Hall of Fame (a most
controversial pick, incidentally), but another brother George was
known as one of the greatest players in minor league history.
2,472 games
2,876 hits
.321 batting average
256 home runs
1,696 RBI
Supposedly, George turned down an offer to play in the big
leagues.
–The New Orleans Hornets, out of nowhere, defeated the
Sacramento Kings on Saturday to up their record to 3-29. The
worst start in NBA history is that of the 1993-94 Dallas
Mavericks who went 2-39 on the way to a 13-69 final mark.
The worst full season mark is the 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers,
9-73, while the 1997-98 Denver Nuggets were 11-71.
–And now the second installment in our irregular feature…
Letters the editor liked from Sports Illustrated. This week’s
comes from Gary Chaize of Bradenton, FL.
“David Stern is ‘concerned that moving a team to Las Vegas
would harm his league’s image.’ Exactly what image are you
worried about, Mr. Commissioner?”
Right on, Gary.
–I also saw this in SI.
“If You Don’t Want The Swimsuit Issue…
“If you’re a subscriber and would prefer NOT to receive it, call
our customer service center toll-free…and let us know.”
Better yet, send it to a soldier in Iraq.
Top 3 songs for the week of 1/9/65: #1 “I Feel Fine” (The
Beatles) #2 “Come See About Me” (The Supremes) #3 “Mr.
Lonely” (Bobby Vinton)
The Monkees’ Mickey Dolenz has his own morning show on
WCBS-FM, the great oldies station here in New York. Hope
he’s a hit.
NBA Quiz Answer: As of games played 1/9, the top five scorers
in the NBA are…
Allen Iverson…28.9
Kobe Bryant…28.5
Dirk Nowitzki…26.9
Amare Stoudemire…25.9
Tracy McGrady…24.7
LeBron James…24.3
Ray Allen…23.9
Dwayne Wade…23.8
Kevin Garnett…23.8
Gilbert Arenas…23.1
Next Bar Chat, Thursday.
