Baseball Quiz: Entering 2005, name the top ten all time in home
runs per at bat. [Minimum 10 major league seasons and 4000 at
bats.] 6 of 10 are in the 500 home run club.
***Wake”s Chris Paul is leaving early. More next chat***
Nothing But Stuff
–I have written in the past of the New York Knicks and their
absurd payroll…given the fact they suck…but David Waldstein
of the Star-Ledger broke it down further the other day.
For example, this season they have a $103 million payroll and
are 30-47. Next year, however, it gets even worse with the
Knicks having to cough up $38 million, combined, for the likes
of Tim Thomas, Penny Hardaway and Maurice Taylor. Here is
the current payroll for the 2005-06 season.
Allan Houston……$19,125,000
Stephon Marbury…16,453,000
Penny Hardaway….15,750,000
Tim Thomas………13,975,000
Maurice Taylor……..9,100,000
Shandon Anderson…6,733,000 [not on the team, still
responsible]
Jerome Williams……6,664,000…incredible…5 min. per game
Jamal Crawford…….6,480.000
Kurt Thomas……….6,620,000
Malik Rose…………6,008,000
Michael Sweetney….2,117,000
Trevor Ariza………….620,000
Total…………….$109,000,000
Of course they are so far over the salary cap there is no room to
maneuver out of this mess, especially if Houston doesn’t do the
right thing and retire.
–This just in from Harry K. up in the Great White North. April
13 (1743) was Thomas Jefferson’s birthday and it also happens
to be the birthday of Frederick North (1732), the British Prime
Minister who introduced the Tea Act, which led to Jefferson
drafting the Declaration of Independence. “Kinda weird, eh
Mulder?” muses H.K.
Well, this got me thinking…or rather turning to the pages of
“Don’t Know Much About History” by Kenneth C. Davis.
It seems that in 1773, Parliament granted a legal monopoly on
tea shipments to America to the nearly bankrupt East India
Company, thus undercutting American merchants. If the Brits
can do this to us with tea, thought the colonists, what will be
next?
In November 1773, three tea-laden ships reached Boston.
Kenneth Davis describes the scene.
“Led by Samuel Adams and a powerful ally, John Hancock, one
of the richest men in America and one of those most threatened
by the possibility of London-granted trade monopolies, the
patriots vowed that the tea would not be landed. Governor
Hutchinson (Mass.), whose sons stood to profit by its landing,
put his back up. After two months of haggling, the Boston
patriots made up their minds to turn Boston Harbor into a
teapot.”
[Your editor pauses for a tea break……]
“On the night of December 16, 1773, about 150 men from all
layers of Boston’s economy, master and apprentices side by side,
blackened their faces with burnt cork, dressed as Mohawk
Indians (or Greenwich Village freaks), and boarded the three
ships. Once aboard, they requested and received the keys to the
ships’ holds, as their target was the tea alone and not the ships or
any other cargo aboard. Watched by a large crowd, as well as
the Royal Navy, the men worked for nearly three hours,
hatcheting open the cases of tea and dumping it into the harbor.
So much was dumped that the tea soon piled up in the waters and
spilled back onto the decks.”
Other tea parties followed. “Patriots became more daring;
loyalist Tories became more loyal; Parliament stiffened its back.”
King George told his prime minister, the aforementioned
Frederick North, “The die is now cast. The colonies must either
submit or triumph.”
–But going back in time about 150 years prior to the Boston Tea
Party, LT told me her son Christopher was doing a report on
Pocahontas the other day and as I had touched on the topic in a
recent “Wall Street History” piece I decided to see what Kenneth
Davis had to say about that hot Indian chick from yesteryear.
But first, here is what John Smith wrote, January 1608, in his
diary.
[Smith writes in the third person, a la Ricky Henderson.]
“Having feasted after their best barbarous manner they could, a
long consultation was held, but the conclusion was, two great
stones were brought before Powhatan: then as many as could laid
hands on him [Smith], dragged him to them, and thereon laid his
head, and being ready with their clubs to beat out his brains,
Pocahontas, the king’s dearest daughter, when no entreaty could
prevail, got his head in her arms, and laid her own upon his to
save him from death; whereat the emperor was contented he
should live….Two days after, Powhatan having disguised
himself in the most fearfulest manner he could, caused Captain
Smith to be brought forth to a great house in the woods, and
there upon a mat by the fire to be left alone. Not long after, from
behind a mat that divided the house, was made the most
dolefulest noise he ever heard; then Powhatan, more like a devil
than man, with some two hundreds more as black as himself,
came unto him and told him now they were friends…”
Of course historians have questioned the accuracy of John
Smith’s writings, but as for Pocahontas of Disney fame, her real
name was Matowaka, though her nickname loosely translated
meant “frisky.” And frisky she was….all of 11-years-old when
she begged for Smith’s life. I mean to tell you, she took up with
Smith at this age?! Goodness gracious.
Well, you know the rest of the story, ahem. Smith made a
fortune in cod and went back to Spain. Pocahontas was then
saved by settler John Rolfe, who married the Indian princess,
now something like 17, “for the good of the plantation.” Davis
says Rolfe then took Pocahantas to London with him in 1615, but
another source says 1616. Regardless, what I didn’t know is that
she encountered John Smith over in London. Well, you can
imagine how that got the tongues wagging, the British tabloid
press getting hold of the story and all. [Prince Charles and
Camilla Parker Bowles were just starting to see each other back
then as well.] Soon after seeing Smith, Pocahontas, who went by
her baptismal name in London, Lady Rebecca, died of smallpox.
And now you know…..the rest of the story…………..
–I didn’t know this……according to a piece by Beverly Gage in
the April issue of Smithsonian:
“In 1758, young George Washington decided to seek a seat in the
Virginia House of Burgesses. He had been stymied in an earlier
bid, he believed, by one crucial error: he had not ‘treated’ the
voters properly – which is to say, he had not provided them with
sufficient alcoholic refreshment. This time, determined to
correct his ways, he purchased some 144 gallons of wine, rum,
hard cider, punch and beer for distribution to supporters. At
more than two votes per gallon, Washington’s effort proved
successful, launching a rather distinguished career in American
politics.”
No wonder I’ve always liked George. [By the way, sports fans,
the House of Burgesses goes back to 1619 when Governor
Yeardley of Virginia summoned an elective legislative
assembly.]
Back to Beverly Gage’s piece, which was really on Prohibition,
beer was a prime target. The German and Irish working class
drank gallons of the stuff and the temperance advocates thought
that by prohibiting the drinking of all alcohol it would represent
the triumph of order over disorder.
Incidentally, not all alcohol was banned under the Volstead Act
(the federal law that put Prohibition into effect). Alcohol
consumed for religious purposes was exempt, for example, as
was hair tonic, perfumes, toilet waters and other cosmetic
products. [Bet you never thought of drinking…….oh, never
mind.] And it also excluded alcohol prescribed by physicians.
And so began the fight over “medical beer.”
Well, temperance advocates were furious over the “medical
beer” campaign, but Prohibition’s opponents labeled it a matter
of life and death.
“Since Prohibition went into effect I have been approached by a
number of physicians who appealed to me for beer on the ground
that it was absolutely necessary for the welfare of their patients,”
said brewer Col. Jacob Ruppert, who owned the Yankees from
1915 until his death in 1939.
You know, with all the talk these days of the health benefits of
moderate drinking (let alone the debate over “medicinal
marijuana”) it’s interesting to learn that in the early 18th century
whiskey, rum and other liquors were seen as “medications that
could cure colds, fevers, snakebites, frosted toes, and broken
legs, and as relaxants that would relieve depression, reduce
tension and enable hardworking laborers to enjoy a moment of
happy, frivolous camaraderie.” [Historian W.J. Rorabaugh]
Even the dour Cotton Mather believed that alcohol, used in
moderation, could be “a Creature of God.”
[The editor pauses for a beer break….]
Actually, by 1916, the American Medical Association had
declared alcohol’s supposed medicinal properties entirely
unsupported by research. But then Attorney General A.
Mitchell Palmer ruled in 1921 that doctors could prescribe beer
at any time, under any circumstances. 8 months later, however,
Congress passed the Campbell-Willis act that banned beer
altogether.
[The editor pauses…noting the death of beer…]
–We note the tragic death of Bob the dog. Owner Cindy
Hernandez was swimming in the Hillsborough River, down
Tampa, FL, way, when an alligator started right for her. But in
swam her dog, Bob…getting in between the gator and Ms.
Hernandez. Cindy swam to safety. Bob was swallowed up.
–The winner of the Miss USA pageant was Chelsea Cooley, 21,
of Charlotte, NC. Miss California, Brittany Hogan, 20, was
runner-up and there was a vicious catfight in the dressing room
afterwards. Chelsea Cooley now goes on to the Miss Universe
pageant in Bangkok, May 30. This is must see television, folks,
because past history has shown this to be the worst produced
program of the season, even if it does have Donald Trump’s
name on it.
–For you golf fanatics out there, officials at the Baltusrol Golf
Club, site of this year’s PGA, are drooling over the size of their
rough. In other words, Tiger is doomed unless he can drive it
straight. At Augusta he was 49th of 50 in driving accuracy.
–World Golf Rankings
1. Tiger…13.86
2. Vijay…12.31
3. Ernie…10.70
4. Phil……9.46
5. Retief….7.90
6. Padraig Harrington…5.51
7. Chris DiMarco……..5.32 [up from #15 the week before]
8. Sergio Garcia………5.11
9. David Toms………..5.06
10. Adam Scott……….4.94
–Here’s some interesting trivia. Chicago White Sox pitcher
Freddy Garcia was 9-0 in day games last year and 4-11 in night
contests. Garcia was only the 7th pitcher since 1971 to go at least
9-0 during the day. Freddy won his first game this season,
another day game. [Remember, bet with your head, not over it.]
–Stat update: Philadelphia’s Pat Burrell has 17 RBI in 8 games.
Ichiro has 13 hits in his first 7 games, but more importantly was
hitting .464 through Tuesday. Last year he got off to a rough
start so it’s going to be interesting to see how long he can stay
above, say, .380. If he’s at that level come July, it won’t be too
soon to begin talking about .400.
–Jason Giambi was hitting .190 through Tuesday. I love it.
–Between 1995 and 2004, Bowflex users suffered at least 85
injuries including chipped teeth, cuts and back, disc and neck
injuries. The Consumer Product Safety Administration just fined
parent company Nautilus $950,000 for not reporting the safety
defects. Which means that all those new ab machines on the
market today probably tear your stomach muscles to shreds; it’s
just a matter of time before the data begins pouring in.
–I see where the FDA narrowly rejected a request by Inamed to
reintroduce silicone-gel breast implants after they had been off
the market for 13 years. On a related topic, don’t forget to catch
Pamela Anderson in “Stacked,” Wednesdays at 8:30 pm on Fox.
Top 3 songs for the week of 4/13/68: #1 “Honey” (Bobby
Goldsboro) #2 “Young Girl” (The Union Gap) #3 “(Sittin’ On)
The Dock Of The Bay” (Otis Redding)
Baseball Quiz Answer: Best home run per at bat ratios.
1. Mark McGwire…10.61….Booooooo Boooooooooo!
2. Babe Ruth…11.76…the one and only
3. Barry Bonds…12.94….Boooooo Boooooooooooooo!
4. Jim Thome…13.54…trust him
5. Sammy Sosa…13.97…..Boooooo Booooooooooooo!
6. Ralph Kiner…14.11…those were the days
7. Harmon Killebrew…14.22…pure unadulterated beef
8. Manny Ramirez…14.29…suspect
9. Alex Rodriguez….14.67…ditto
10. Ken Griffey Jr. …14.73…trust him
11. Ted Williams…14.79…lost his head, you know…
12. Carlos Delgado…14.90
13. Juan Gonzalez…15.10
14. Dave Kingman…15.11…my man!
15. Mickey Mantle…15.12
28. Hank Aaron…16.38
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday.
