Baltimore Orioles Quiz (1954-present): 1) Most home runs,
season, switch-hitter? 2) Highest batting average, season? [Hint:
.340] 3) How many 20-win seasons did Jim Palmer have? 4)
What pitcher holds the record for strikeouts, season? [Not
Palmer] 5) What years did the Orioles win the World Series? 6)
Who is the last to win the Cy Young? Answers below.
Terror in Namibia
Ripped out of the pages of Tuesday’s The Namibian:
“Two rhinos escape from Etosha”
[As reported by Oswald Shivute]
“Two black rhinos that escaped from the Etosha National Park
recently are being tracked by helicopter in an effort to chase the
rare animals back to the park.
“Councillor Lazarus Kornelius yesterday told The Namibian that
the two rhinos escaped from Etosha after elephants recently
destroyed parts of the park fence.
“According to him, there are now many gaps in the fence and
many wild animals are escaping from the park.
“ ‘The two rhinos also escaped from the park through those
openings in the fence and came over to the areas where
communities are living,’ said Councillor Kornelius….
“He said rhinos were dangerous animals and the escaped pair had
sparked fear among communities at Okaurukwa and Otjorute
villages.”
Goodness gracious. I just knew it would come to this; elephants
teaming up with rhinos to spread a reign of terror across the
African continent. Heretofore, cooperation between the two was
limited.
Then again, it’s also possible they were trying to see Brangelina;
not having been told the world’s most beautiful couple had
already fled the country after the baby was born. [It was a
“quiet” birth, you’ll recall.]
Meanwhile, Chief Warden Evaristo Nghilai reminds all of you
who may be traveling in Africa over the coming days, “Rhinos
can be dangerous animals if not treated well…and we are calling
upon residents in that area to be careful and not to molest them,
till we find the way how to get them out of there.”
It also turns out local residents have previously complained about
the fence as lions have also been known to escape when no one is
looking. Of course the first tip-off should have been when they
were seen mindlessly tossing a tennis ball against the fence.
Bruno, RIP
The post-mortems are flooding in.
David Crossland / London Times
“Germany is in mourning after hunters shot dead the young
brown bear who had outwitted pursuers in a seven-week odyssey
round the Alps, during which he killed dozens of sheep and
rabbits, stole honey, strolled nonchalantly through mountain
villages and squashed a guinea-pig.
“Who fired the fatal shots remains a mystery. The decision to
kill Bruno was so unpopular that the Bavarian authorities
received anonymous death threats against the hunters and are
refusing to identify them.”
Bruno was shot dead at 4:50 a.m., about 650 feet from the
Rotwandhaus mountain lodge in the Bavarian Alps near Lake
Spitzingsee.
It seems Bruno “sealed his fate when he scared guests at the
lodge on Sunday night.” But as Bruno ran off, the manager of
the joint, Herr Weihrer, called police.
Jeffrey Fleishman / Los Angeles Times
“Bruno has eaten his last sheep.
“The 220-pound brown bear who knocked over honey pots and
ravaged livestock, who roamed the Bavarian Alps like an outlaw
on the run, eluding farmers and Finnish hounds, was tracked by
three hunters and shot just after dawn on a partly cloudy
Monday.
“The first wild bear known to have meandered into Germany in
about 170 years was ‘painlessly done away with.’….
“Outrage echoed from mountain ridge to valley. ‘Bears of the
world: Avoid Bavaria,’ said Hubert Weinzierl, president of the
German Ring of Nature Preservation. ‘In other countries, bear
and man are living peacefully together. Only in Germany is the
bear liquidated.’
[Ed. Herr Weinzierl obviously hasn’t been to New Jersey.]
“Wandering up from Italy and across Austria…Bruno was
magical and mercurial, a bit of fairy tale in the land of
lederhosen….He had a taste for chickens and sheep, and dined
on at least one pet guinea pig. At once adorable and menacing,
he left bloody footprints and dozens of carcasses across meadows
and riverbanks….
“The farmers said he had to go. But taking a contract out on a
bear who had suddenly turned into a brazen celebrity, an animal
whose likes hadn’t been seen in Germany since the days when
Beethoven’s music was not classical but new, proved a
cumbersome task.”
Oh, this issue is far from over, even as Bruno is now slated to be
“stuffed and displayed in a Munich museum.” [London Times]
But perhaps it’s important to re-examine the timeline. Are you
thinking what I am?
Bruno is killed early Monday morning. The actual timing of the
rhino breakout is unclear. Hmmmmmm….maybe they weren’t
trying to see Brad and Angelina after all. Maybe they were
attempting to create a diversion of some kind.
Finally, though, if Germany hadn’t seen a wild bear since 1835,
then why the heck does it have a “bear specialist,” Manfred
Woelfl, as identified in a London Times piece. Why aren’t the
German people rioting over this clear abuse of their tax dollars?!
I mean, like, I could be New Jersey’s wooly mammoth
specialist….a position I’d gladly accept at $75,000 plus a state
car.
Iguanas Wreak Havoc!
Just another story on the iguanas of Boca Grande, Fla., this one
from Matt Reed of USA Today.
“The preppy people of Boca Grande are tired of big, ugly
iguanas nesting in their attics. And devouring their prized
landscape plants. And climbing onto their golf carts. And
loitering on their boat docks. And burrowing under their home
foundations and beach dunes.”
What a freakin’ nightmare. Resident Pat Cook said “They just
drive you out of your mind – they’ll jump right out of a tree.
They’re undermining the corner of my building. I had one that
died, and it smelled like a carcass for 25 days, and we couldn’t
tell if it was in a wall or a hole in the ground.”
The local advisory board is proposing an assessment on
homeowners to be able to go out and buy heavy arms and nuclear
know how, if not from the U.S. government, then Pakistan.
[Actually, I’m not sure about this last bit….but A.Q. Khan is still
selling his knowledge to the highest bidder, as far as I know.]
And think of this. It all started when a trio of these Mexican
spiny-tailed iguanas were released by a local homeowner in the
mid-1970s. 30 years later, it is estimated 13,000! now reside in
Boca Grande. Or two for every human resident.
“During a golf-cart tour of Boca Grande, mortgage company
owner Dave Hannon spotted the lizards every 30-50 yards.
‘They’re not attacking people. They’re not attacking the pets.
But I guess when they start tearing up your landscaping, people
get upset.’”
Personally, it seems like the iguanas are just waiting until they
gain further numerical superiority before launching an all-out
assault. Each female, by the way, “can lay 50-80 eggs, three
times per mating season.” Aaghhhhhhh!
Harriet, RIP
I forgot to report this last time, but on a sad note we
acknowledge the passing of Harriet, the 176-year-old tortoise
that died in an Australian zoo.
From the Santiago Times:
“Sir Charles Darwin first thrust the Giant Galapagos land tortoise
into the limelight in 1835 when he took her captive from her
native Galapagos Islands. Harriet then had to endure years as
‘Harry’ due to her captor’s embarrassing gender confusion.
“After being studied by the naturalist in Great Britain – some say
Harriet helped inspire his famous evolution and natural selection
theories – she relocated to Australia. Harriet lived out her
remaining 170 years in Brisbane’s Australia Zoo under the
watchful eye of fellow wildlife celebrity and ‘Crocodile Hunter’
Steve Irwin.”
Irwin issued a statement:
“I have grown up with this gorgeous old girl and so have my
kids…Her passing today is not only a great loss for the world,
but a very sad day for my family. She was a grand old lady.”
The Guinness Book of World Records recently acknowledged
Harriet was the oldest animal in captivity.
THAR SHE BLOWS!!!!!!!
From the London Times:
“Migaloo, a white humpback whale, was sighted yesterday as he
made his annual migration along the East Coast of Australia.
Named after the Aboriginal word for ‘white fella,’ he has been
eagerly awaited each year since he was first spotted in 1991. He
is the only white specimen recorded in 100 years, and has drawn
comparisons to the fictional white whale Moby-Dick.”
Moby-Dick wasn’t fictional, was it? You mean Godzilla’s not
real?
Weiner King…Dead
Thomas G. Arthur, creator of the “Dodger Dog,” died of a heart
attack at the age of 84. Arthur ran the food concessions at
Dodger Stadium for 29 years and early on it was his idea to sell a
foot-long hot dog. Actually, it was really just 10 inches
(seriously) but the dogs were super popular…up to 50,000 a day
were sold when attendance was good.
From the AP:
“A former New Yorker, Mr. Arthur borrowed the idea of a
footlong hot dog from his favorite Nathan’s Famous dogs for the
ballpark menu when the Dodgers moved from Los Angeles
Memorial Coliseum to Dodger Stadium in 1962.”
Acknowledging they weren’t exactly a foot long, the marketing
angle worked.
Elaine Woo / Los Angeles Times:
“There were few complaints over the years, but the most
memorable came one day in the early 1960s when Arthur’s
company was a subsidiary of ABC Consolidated Corp. A movie
producer sitting in a pricey dugout-level seat called him and
immediately handed the phone to one of his guests. The
distinctively refined voice on the line belonged to one of
Hollywood’s best-known actors.
“ ‘This is Cary Grant,’ the voice said, ‘and I’m a stockholder in
ABC and I have a complaint: You don’t’ have enough grill space
down here for the hot dogs.’
“Arthur quickly went to the dugout area and installed a large
grill. ‘All our sales went up,’ he recalled years later in the Daily
News.”
But by 1990, stadium menus were diversifying, especially in
L.A., as Japanese, Chinese and Mexican fare was introduced.
Arthur couldn’t afford the equipment upgrades and he retired in
1991.
Nonetheless, the aura of Dodger Dogs continues and the
denizens of Dodger Stadium are still known to consume more
hot dogs than any other major league ballpark. [Wrigley and
Coor’s Field are next, according to the National Hot Dog and
Sausage Council.]
Stuff
–World Cup Elite Eight
Germany vs. Argentina…Friday
Italy vs. Ukraine…Friday
England vs. Portugal…Saturday
Brazil vs. France…Saturday
And now, your EXCLUSIVE Final Four selections.
Germany, Italy, England and Brazil.
And the winner?
ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!
Of course this is the 4th different team I’ve picked thus far, but
who’s counting?
–I didn’t have a chance last time to do any more than
acknowledge Oregon State’s win in the College World Series,
but what was really funny was how many of my friends had the
exact same comment… “I forgot the game was on, stumbled on
it in the 8th, and what great entertainment.”
Oregon State’s win over North Carolina is quite notable,
especially since the Eager Beavers hail from the Pacific
Northwest. For obvious reasons, there aren’t a lot of northern
schools winning the title; the last being Ohio State in 1966.
–A nine-year-old girl was bitten by a shark off the Florida coast,
but her injuries are not life-threatening. All she was doing was
standing in the surf on Hutchinson Island, when WHOMP! “She
said she saw something grey in the water and it hit her, and after
that the shark bit her,” said the grandmother. [London Times]
Could have been Warren Sapp.
–Dirtball update: Phillies pitcher Brett Myers, whose assault
charge I detailed last time, has taken leave through the All-Star
break in asking the organization for some time off so he can
contemplate just what an ass he truly is. Myers said in a
statement:
“I recognize that my behavior was inappropriate and for that I
apologize. Second, I recognize that the incident created an
embarrassing situation for many people, including my wife and
family, my teammates…..”
Oh, just shut up. “Embarrassing situation for your wife”? You
could have killed her. Go directly to jail and don’t pass ‘Go.’
–At the risk of boring non-New York area sports fans, I just have
to note a few quotes concerning the New York Knicks. Or
rather, owner James Dolan and his sidekick Isiah Thomas. The
other day the two held a press conference, the first comments
since the firing of Coach Larry Brown, but limited it to seven
beat writers….shutting out radio and television, among others.
Mike Vaccaro / New York Post
“We have had some beauties around here, people who owned
New York sports franchises you wouldn’t trust to shovel your
sidewalk. None of them even deserves a seat at the same table as
James Dolan, who every day solidifies his place as the single-
worst owner New York City has ever seen.
“The man cannot help himself; everything he does is an affront:
to common sense, to common decency, to the loyalties of a fan
base that has never done anything to deserve the stinking,
festering product Dolan insists on foisting upon them.
“Yesterday, DNA Dolan and his new basketball coach, Isiah
Thomas, finally emerged from their sarcophagus to speak to the
seven men who cover the Knicks as a daily beat for newspapers.
Dolan revealed that Isiah will have one year to get things turned
around (which, reportedly, sure looked like news to Isiah)…..
“And so (Dolan) excluded the columnists, and the TV
commentators, and all the others who, in Dolan’s enfeebled
logic, spread lies and half-truths about his franchise. The last
organization to try and succeed using these methods were the
Bolsheviks, and they never came close to winning a
championship, either.”
Richard Sandomir / New York Times
“While the Garden cannot do without Knicks fans, it could do
nicely without most members of the inquiring news media.
Here’s a plan to shield the Garden from pesky reporters: restrict
their access by creating Manhattan’s first official demilitarized
zone, a 10-foot-high, 2,000-foot-long fence that would stretch
from 31st to 33rd Streets and from Seventh to Eighth Avenues.
“I asked a fencing consultant, Chuck Naegele of Clarks Summit,
Pa., for a quote. For $300 a foot, or a mere $600,000, he said the
Garden could buy micromesh fencing that would not allow small
projectiles, like mini-digital tape recorders or notebooks, to be
thrown through it. Nimbler reporters would be further repelled
from unauthorized entrance into the Garden by layers of razor
ribbon costing $300,000.
“ ‘That’s really nasty stuff,’ Naegele said.
“Electrifying the fence and the building would be options, but the
whole project (depending on the availability of alligators) may
cost the Garden less than Dolan’s $5.1 million in salary and
bonus from Cablevision in 2005.
“There may be times when the Garden will invite some reporters
to cover Knicks games and require them to wear ankle bracelets
and be escorted by armed members of the Knicks’ public-
relations staff.”
Mike Lupica / New York Daily News
“ ‘Jim (Dolan) has been great,’ Isiah Thomas says on Jim’s
network. Of course Thomas would think that way. He still has a
job, at a time when no other owner in the league would give him
one.”
–I love this item….passed on by Jeff B.
Columbus, Ohio / AP
“A man made a mockery of the justice system when he tried to
get removed from a jury pool in a death penalty case by claiming
he is a heroin addict and a killer, a judge said.
“Benjamin Ratliffe, 21, of Columbus, was charged with
contempt of court and obstruction of justice and ordered to spend
a night in jail.
“Ratliffe filled out a questionnaire form for potential jurors and
professed to having a ‘bad jonesin’ for heroin.’ When asked if
he had ever fired a weapon, he wrote, ‘Yes. I killed someone
with it, of course. Right.’”
Judge Julie M. Lynch was none too amused and ordered Ratliffe
to jail.
“ ‘He didn’t try to defend his responses, and he lied under oath
and he was insubordinate,’ said Lynch. ‘You do not make a
mockery of the process.’”
I learned a new term, sports fans…jonesin. See if you can use it
in a sentence. “I had a bad jonesin for Chex Mix.” “I had a
jonesin for Barack Obama!” [Or is the second one an incorrect
usage?]
–Boy, college basketball coaches at the Division I level are a
royal pain in the butt. A bunch of them are adamant about
expanding the NCAA tournament field to 128 from its current
65. [There’s a play-in game….for those of you who don’t follow
this too closely.] Syracuse Coach Jim Boeheim, though, said
he’s just interested in adding 3 to 7 more teams, or creating two
to four more play-in games. Why bother? Thankfully, none of
this will happen anytime soon.
–Eddie, the Jack Russell terrier on “Frasier,” died at 16.
Actually, Eddie’s real name was “Moose,” which confused the
hell out of the poor pooch. [That’s how you get a dog to turn it’s
head on screen, by the way. Line up people on opposite ends and
call the dog different names. The dog then looks quizzical and
presto! You have your cute television shot.]
–We wish ESPN baseball analyst Peter Gammons well.
Gammons, 61, was operated on Tuesday for a brain aneurysm.
–A friend of mine, Chris C., started a new web site that’s pretty
cool…DueViste.com…especially for those of you in the New
York City area who may be looking for a new idea or two.
Top 3 songs for the week of 6/27/64: #1 “A World Without
Love” (Peter and Gordon) #2 “I Get Around” (The Beach Boys)
#3 “Chapel Of Love” (Dixie Cups)…and…#5 “People” (Barbra
Streisand…Babs’ best…downhill from there) #6 “Memphis”
(Johnny Rivers…underrated artist, underrated tune) #7 “Don’t
Let The Sun Catch You Crying” (Gerry and the Pacemakers) #8
“Love Me With All Your Heart” (The Ray Charles Singers) #10
“Walk On By” (Dionne Warwick…Bacharach shoots…scores!)
Baltimore Orioles Quiz Answers: 1) Ken Singleton (not Eddie
Murray) holds the record for home runs, season, by a switch-
hitter…35 in 1979. 2) Melvin Mora has the highest batting
average, season, .340 in 2004. 3) Jim Palmer had 8, 20-win
campaigns, all in a nine-year stretch…1970-78. He also had a
minimum of 17 complete games each of those 8 seasons, plus his
ERA was 2.91 or better those years. Overall, the three-time Cy
Young, 4-time Gold Glove winner was 268-152 in his Hall of
Fame career. But he never fanned 200 in a season, which mildly
surprised me. 4) Most strikeouts season with just 218, Mike
Mussina, 1997. Boy, that’s low. 5) Baltimore won the Series in
1966, 1970 and 1983. 6) Last to win a Cy Young… Steve Stone,
1980.
*And this Orioles tidbit that shocked the heck out of me. The
team won at least 100 games in each of 1969, 70, 71…yet never
drew more than 1,058,000 in any of those three years. I mean
these were some of the great teams of any era…pitching, hitting,
some of the sport’s all-time greats…and this was the best they
could do? Of course Memorial Stadium was no great shakes and
once Camden Yards opened up, for a spell the Orioles were
drawing 3 million +.
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday…Fourth of July musings.
