[From Las Cruces, N.M.]
NFL Quiz: Who am I? 1) I led the AFC in rushing in 1977,
between O.J. Simpson (1972-76, ex-74…Otis Armstrong) and
Earl Campbell (1978-81). 2) I led the AFL in rushing in 1963
and my initials were C.D. 3) I led the AFL in rushing in 1968 as
a rookie and I played for Cincinnati. 4) What two backs led the
AFC in rushing three times apiece in the 1990s? Answers below.
Tucson and East
So what have I been doing with myself the last few days? Well,
I arrived in Tucson Thursday afternoon and didn’t do any
sightseeing until Saturday, due to work responsibilities, and that
morning I finally set out to tour Tucson and the surrounding area.
I started out at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, about 15
miles outside town. I was last here about 20 years ago and I
remembered it being one of the great wildlife venues I had ever
been to and it didn’t disappoint me a second time around.
For starters, the view at the top of the museum / zoo is one
you’ve seen many times before in various westerns; a sweeping
vista of the desert plains with spectacular mountains in the
background. One of my favorite spots in the world. Old Tucson,
where many a western has been filmed, is also just a few miles
from the museum.
Otherwise, it’s all about the desert and the animals you can find,
such as mountain lions, prairie dogs and such. They have great
exhibits and I didn’t realize there are 20 black bear per 100
square miles in the mountains surrounding Tucson. Some great
bird exhibits too, including a walk-in aviary where my main
concern was getting dumped on by everything dive bombing me.
And a super cool hummingbird exhibit where you’re right there
with them.
I got there as it opened, 8:30, so the animals were still a little
frisky before the desert heat set in. [Here it would hit 80+ later
in the day.] But the best part of the place is just walking along
the trails and getting a real sense of what it’s like to hike in the
desert. I didn’t venture too far, though, because I was afraid a
rattlesnake or mountain lion would devour me. [OK, a combo
rattler / boa….like in those Sci-Fi Channel movies.]
Next, it was a 25-mile drive to one of the great surprises of my
life….the Titan Missile Museum. I’ve seen this on maps before
and I really don’t know why I didn’t check it out until now but
trust me, if you’re in the area it’s a must see.
Back in the 1950s, the U.S. government, as part of its nuclear
deterrence against the Soviets, launched an upgrade of the Titan
missile program that would have a heavier payload and travel
further. The result was Titan II and in 1960 the U.S. commenced
building 54 single-missile silos in three states; Kansas, Arkansas
and Arizona with 18 in each.
The site south of Tucson (next to a new planned community
springing up, Green Village…they just got a Safeway!), is the
only one of the 54 that wasn’t dismantled beginning in 1986.
Thankfully the federal government and the state of Arizona
worked to preserve it.
So picture a full missile site, complete with an actual Titan II
rocket (one used for training, the nuclear one was removed).
You get so see everything, including the underground quarters
and control room and much of it is like you see in the movies.
Titan II had a single warhead, the size of a Gemini space capsule
(Titan II rockets were used for some of those launches…you just
stick a warhead on the nosecone to get a nuke), and it was 700
times more powerful than what we dropped on Hiroshima and
Nagosaki.
I’m going to save a few comments for “Week in Review”
because there is an interesting parallel to today, but picture the
government spent 28 to 36 months building 54 identical sites and
when you see it you’re just amazed at the construction and the
redundancies built in.
The silo itself goes about 146 feet underground and you all have
seen the door that covers it. Do you know how much this sliding
door weighs? Try 765 tons! And they could move it to the fully
open position in 17 to 20 seconds.
The concrete walls around the quarters and control room, deep
under ground, are 60 times stronger than the walls on your home.
So think how your house in most cases can withstand a sizable
hurricane…then multiply it by 60. The engineering is
phenomenal, with everything designed, of course, to withstand
both earthquakes and nuclear blasts.
Titan II was designed as a retaliatory missile. The Soviets
launch an attack against us and after the president gives the
orders, any of the 54 Titan II’s could be directed to anywhere in
the Soviet Union and fired within a few minutes (the brochure
says one…but after talking to this great guide, it seemed like the
whole process could be 2 to 3 minutes). Then within 35 minutes
the missile could hit its target.
[The crew could also get an order to specifically launch their
missile, say, 24 hours later in order to spread out the damage or
to ensure a target had actually been destroyed. You wouldn’t
send all your missiles to hit two or three sites at once, for
example.]
Now recall these were the silos with 4-man crews, working 24-
hour shifts. There were four layers of security; four different
phone calls that needed to be made before the crew could be
replaced, as well as a rather sophisticated microwave system
outside to prevent an attack on the base.
Inside, two engineers maintained both the missile (which was
checked every 12 hours) and the internals of the quarters, such as
electricity, and the other two were a senior and junior officer
manning the control room. Regarding these last two, they never
let the other out of their sight, or at least knew at all times where
the other was. [There was an area where they could take breaks,
cook a meal and such, in case you were wondering.]
If we were attacked, the president would go to the “football”
attached to the National Security aide trailing him at all times,
pick out the targets, each with a specific code, and they were
then sent to the Strategic Air Command. This particular base I
was at then listened on loudspeakers from both Denver and a
SAC center in California and whichever signal was stronger, the
computer (this is the 1960s, the size of a large bookcase and
about the power of a watch these days) locked in on the stronger
signal. The two officers at the control desk then opened up their
red folders and wrote down a complex code. They then
exchanged folders and verified each other’s work.
This was then programmed in, another code was put in (the most
critical one that literally controlled a pin between the fuels used
that ignited the rocket….I’m doing this by memory, in case a few
rocket scientists are out there and questioning my work), and
then the two operated the keys, simultaneously, that many of you
have seen portrayed in the movies. At that point the missile is
out of their control, the door having opened up…and it takes off.
There were a few accidents in the Titan program. I was actually
in Kansas during one…1978…and having heard about it on the
radio I then tried to go to the base, near Wichita. I was stopped,
needless to say, miles from it. [Hey, I was in college selling
books door-to-door, what did I know?]
But one famous one occurred in Arkansas, 1980, if I remember
correctly, at what was called the Damascus base. An engineer
doing maintenance dropped a large metal object down the silo
and it pierced the fuel tank. The people at the base knew they
had a problem right away, tried to pump the fuel back out into
tanks which are above ground, but hours later the rocket
exploded.
This is a true story. That 765-ton sliding door I spoke of landed
700 yards away. Incredibly, only one soldier and one civilian
was killed in the accident.
[One other item. If the Titan II base was itself targeted, and all
of them were, and hit, the crew had a decision. Either go outside
into the fallout, or stay under ground and await help. The air
supply would have lasted about ten days.]
Well, as we reached various nuclear weapons agreements with
the Soviets, Titan II became obsolete, coupled with the fact we
had upgraded in other areas such as our submarine nuke
capability, so by 1986 the program had been dismantled.
But this one site is an invaluable history lesson for future
generations.
After the base I then drove 90 miles to Tombstone. My goal was
to get there by 2:00 in time for the daily reenactment of the
Shootout at the O.K. Corral. I got there in plenty of time, but on
the way I was wondering why there were so many bikers on the
road, both coming and going from the direction of Tombstone.
So I get there and that’s when I learned it was a special weekend,
“Helldorado.” What a sight. There were a couple thousand
people there, all either wearing biker garb or 1880s outfits, with
most of the local men carrying a gun while sporting their dusters,
a la Clint. [I assume the guns were loaded.]
Goodness gracious. There I was wearing some Nikes, jeans, and
a golf shirt and in the whole assemblage I saw one other guy that
was dressed like me, wearing a Wisconsin shirt. I regretted one
thing. That I didn’t know of this ahead of time because I would
have stayed overnight there.
As it was, I only had one beer at the Crystal Palace Saloon,
which was rocking, because I had a long drive back to Tucson.
But I soaked it in for awhile. Unfortunately, since it was such a
big weekend I wasn’t in time to get a ticket for the show, but I
went through the museum and saw the historama.
This was my second time here, the other also being 20 years ago,
and I must say they’ve done a good job improving the place.
Very authentic.
So that was an action-packed Saturday. As for Sunday, I drove
270 miles from Tucson to Las Cruces. And here you have to
allow me to take care of some family business, namely with my
brother.
When many of you were in grade school, I’m sure at some point
you became familiar with Ferde Grofe’s “Grand Canyon Suite.”
I have good memories of it, though I can’t say I’ve listened to the
whole thing in decades. But knowing I was going to be in the
desert, even if not near the Grand Canyon, I thought I’d buy it
and bring it along to play during one of my more isolated drives.
My brother (Lamb illustrator) hates it, however. Well I popped it
in when I got started Sunday morning and I have to tell you, Bro,
it’s not that bad. Not great, but OK.
Actually, to be anal about it, part IV, “Sunset,” sounds like
Gershwin, which means it has a New York flavor; which means
it could be a sunset anywhere. [Always wanted to be a music
critic.]
But the finale, “Cloudburst,” doesn’t sound like a freakin’
cloudburst at all! You want to hear a cloudburst? Listen to The
Ronettes’ “Walking In The Rain”, or better yet, The Dramatics’
“In The Rain”. [Of course The Dramatics also did “Whatcha See
Is Whatcha Get,” one of the all-time favorites of your editor.]
So frankly I put Ferde Grofe way below Phil Spector.
OK, back to the trip….I’m now ½ hour outside Tucson and it’s
time to turn on the Sirius radio that came as part of my Hertz
rental…a Taurus. I hadn’t used it the first three days because I
brought all these CDs for the trip and I like listening to local
radio wherever I am, anyway, but suddenly I realized Sirius
carried NFL games.
Jets football, baby! I caught the entire Detroit-Jets contest
driving through the desert and then the barren wasteland of New
Mexico. [The latter is like desert, actually.]
I was taking Interstate 10 the whole way and boy there isn’t a lot
happening. Some of the scenery, though, is spectacular. I can’t
get enough of desert mountains, for example. Near the Arizona
town of Wilcox you go through a spot called Texas Canyon that
is as cool as anything you’ll see, but the ride through New
Mexico was rather dull.
Thankfully, though, I-10 parallels the major freight train line
between El Paso and Long Beach / Los Angeles. Constant
traffic, so as there was little of it on the highway I monitored
their speed. They generally go about 50. One after another…
looks like the economy is still doing just fine.
I stopped at Lordsburg, N.M., for lunch at McDonald’s and was
ticked when the girl behind the counter copped an attitude.
[You’re in freakin’ Lordsburg! I felt like telling her.] Turns out
they didn’t have milkshakes. I was dying for one. So instead I
broke down and got my first soda in decades…since I discovered
beer.
After Lordsburg, the road takes a cool uphill climb, for miles and
miles, until you reach the Continental Divide, elevation 4585’.
But when I stopped at a rest area later, I was horrified to see
giant grasshoppers. They had to be 2- to 3-feet in length! OK,
maybe 2 to 3 inches.
Meanwhile, the Jets are beating Detroit so that helped me get
over the fact I couldn’t have a milkshake.
As I finally neared Las Cruces, up on a hill there was a giant
sculpture of a roadrunner…very clever…at least I think it was a
sculpture and not a real roadrunner. And I also passed the
Southern New Mexico correctional facility.
I’ve got to tell you, sports fans, if I had to serve time someplace,
this isn’t one I’d like to be sent to, if you catch my drift. So I
decided to pass on my own reenactment of Billy the Kid robbing
a bank in Las Cruces.
Finally, I crossed the Rio Grande. The Rio Grande? Heck, I
forgot this was here. In fact I forgot just how close Las Cruces is
to Mexico, and El Paso is just another 30 miles or so down I-10.
The local television station I’m watching is from El Paso.
Monday it’s on to Santa Fe. Hopefully the weather holds out.
It’s been great so far.
—
“Survival Under Atomic Attack”
At the Titan Missile Base I couldn’t help but pick up “The
Official U.S. Government Booklet” with the above title,
distributed by the Office of Civil Defense, State of California, in
1950.
So during the next few chats I’ll include a few snippets. This is
real, folks. Oh, how times were different.
Inside the front cover you have this:
“YOU CAN SURVIVE…You can live through an atom bomb
raid and you won’t have to have a Geiger counter, protective
clothing, or special training in order to do it. The secrets of
survival are: KNOW THE BOMB’S TRUE DANGERS.
KNOW THE STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TO ESCAPE THEM.”
Bring it on!
[Again, this is 1950.]
“Because the power of all bombs is limited, your chances of
living through an atomic attack are much better than you may
have thought. In the city of Hiroshima, slightly over half the
people who were a mile from the atomic explosion are still alive.
At Nagasaki, almost 70 percent of the people a mile from the
bomb lived to tell their experiences. Today thousands of
survivors of these two atomic attacks live in new houses built
right where their old ones once stood. The war may have
changed their way of life, but they are not riddled with cancer.
Their children are normal. Those who were temporarily unable
to have children because of the radiation now are having children
again.”
[Ed. The fact they were missing one arm or leg is beside the
point.]
“If a modern A-bomb exploded without warning in the air over
your home tonight [better not be during a Mets game], your
calculated chances of living through the raid would run
something like this:
“Should you happen to be one of the unlucky people right under
the bomb, there is practically no hope of living through it. In
fact, anywhere within one-half mile of the center of explosion,
your chances of escaping are about 1 out of 10.”
[This is why us Mets fans wanted a World Series title this year.]
“On the other hand, and this is the important point, from one-half
to 1 mile away, you have a 50-50 chance.
“From 1 to 1 ½ miles out; the odds that you will be killed are
only 15 in 100.
“And at points from 1 ½ to 2 miles away, deaths drop all the way
down to only 2 or 3 out of each 100.”
“Beyond 2 miles, the explosion will cause practically no deaths
at all.”
[I know some Wall Street a-holes who if they lived 2 ½ miles
away, they’d still act like a-holes.]
“Naturally, your chances of being injured are far greater than
your chances of being killed. But even injury by radioactivity
does not mean that you will be left a cripple, or doomed to die an
early death. Your chances of making a complete recovery are
much the same as for everyday accidents. These estimates hold
good for modern atomic bombs exploded without warning.”
I feel great! Do you?
[More next chat…. “What About Super Bombs?” “What About
Burns?” ….if you keep it where it is.]
Stuff
–What Detroit’s Kenny Rogers is doing is remarkable given his
past history.
–Wyatt Earp: “The less you bet, the more you lose when you
win.”
–College Football
Uh oh….I don’t know what to say. I cost each of you a cool
$750,000; assuming you put down the recommended $250,000 a
game. And if you’ve been with me all along, after my 0-3
weekend I’m now 7-8 on the year, so you’re down $250,000 net.
I recognize this could be a real problem, especially if you only
have $4,000 in savings and you’ve been placing your wagers
through Junior Gotti. Well, good luck to you!
And so this past Saturday the results were:
Tennessee, giving 11 ½ to Alabama…Tenn. won 16-13
Boise State, giving 20 ½ to Idaho…Boise won 42-26
LSU, giving 32 ½ to Fresno State…LSU won 38-6
Yes, half a freakin’ point on that last one.
Meanwhile, no huge upsets this weekend and the AP top ten is as
follows:
1. Ohio State
2. Michigan…oh yeah, can’t wait for the game between these
two….Nov. 18th
3. USC
4. West Virginia
5. Texas…needed last minute FG to defeat a game Nebraska.
Sorry, Ken S. But at least your program is definitely back.
6. Louisville
7. Auburn
8. Tennessee
9. Florida
10. Clemson…crushed #13 Georgia Tech…and guess who had
the game in the bag against Clemson? Wake Forest.
16. Rutgers! Still undefeated and highest ranking since 1961.
24. Wake Forest…idle, back in action against North Carolina. If
we lose this one I commit hari-kari…actually, I’ll be driving
through the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation around game time so
I could just hang out with my buddies there and await my fate.
–I can’t believe the Jets are 4-3, and they have a super easy
schedule the rest of the way. Suddenly, 10 wins and a playoff
spot are possible. I thought for sure they’d go 1-15.
–Elephants continue to seek revenge on humans to make up for
their demons, going back to the days of their youth when they
were orphaned as a result of poachers killing their mothers.
[This should be standard knowledge for every grade school
student by now.]
And so in Bangladesh, in the village of Chittagong (haven’t been
there), a herd of elephants rampaged through a village and killed
five members of one family. [Reuters]
–No wonder animals are revolting more than ever these days.
Just last week I wrote of how in Soviet times, communist leaders
who went out to hunt were often tracking sedated animals. They
thought they were great hunters, but the truth spoke differently.
So then this week we have the story that Spain’s King Juan
Carlos I killed a bear in Russia, only this bruin had first been
plied with vodka-drenched honey and then forced from a cage
before the king shot it.
–By now I know most of you have heard about the stingray
leaping into a boat north of Miami and plunging its poisonous
barb into an 81-year-old fisherman, but you may not have heard
some details I saw a day later.
For those who don’t know anything about the incident to begin
with, James Bertakis was in a small recreational boat with two
grandchildren when a spotted eagle ray leaped aboard and struck
him near the heart.
A day later, though, came news doctors had pulled a 2 ½-inch
barb from there, but Bertakis’ condition remained critical.
The doctor who oversaw five hours of surgery told reporters they
had repaired puncture wounds in Bertakis’ heart “after the barb
entered the left side, was driven by each heartbeat through the
heart to pierce the septum separating the two cardiac chambers
and then bore through the right side.” Unreal.
–That backup Univ. of Northern Colorado punter that stabbed
the starting punter so he could get the job has now been charged
with attempted first-degree murder and could face up to 48 years
in prison. Let that be a lesson to all you Pop Warner kickers out
there. If Little Johnny is better than you, suck it up and find
another sport.
–Kind of ironic that the Yankees’ Jason Giambi’s wrist surgery
was performed by a doctor whose office is in the very same
building that teammate Cory Lidle crashed his plane into two
weeks ago.
–Formula One great Michael Schumacher raced for a final time
in Brazil on Sunday. Among the many achievements that made
the 7-time driving champion arguably the greatest ever was a
stretch from 2000 to 2004 when he won 48 of 85 races and the
driver’s title each year. Overall he won 91 races. [But Fernando
Alonso won his second straight title this year.]
–Sports Illustrated is out with their NBA preview, not that many
of us care, especially today, and they select the Phoenix Suns to
win the championship over Miami. The two ranked worst are
Portland and Atlanta.
–40 years ago this week, “The Supremes A’ Go-Go” hit #1 on
the Billboard charts, the first album for a female group to do so.
“Can’t Hurry Love” was the chart-buster on this one. The
Supremes then had two other #1 albums, but it wasn’t until 1982
that another girl group held the top position, the Go-Gos “Beauty
and the Beat.”
Top 3 songs for the week of 10/23/71: #1 “Maggie May” (Rod
Stewart) #2 “Superstar” (Carpenters) #3 “Yo-Yo” (The
Osmonds)…and…#4 “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down”
(Joan Baez…not a big fan of hers…know what I’m sayin’?) #5
“Go Away Little Girl” (Donny Osmond…Steve Lawrence’s
version superior) #7 “Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey” (Paul &
Linda McCartney…oh how Paul wishes she were still alive)
Speaking of the successor to Linda, Heather Mills McCartney, is
their a more vile person on the planet? [And I don’t really care
what any tapes she may have prove. I just feel bad Paul was
such an idiot to marry her.]
I also just looked up The Dramatics to make sure I had the song
titles exactly right up above and I clicked on Wikipedia’s entry.
You know what they have? A listing of where The Dramatics’
hits landed on the “U.S. Pop Singles” and “U.S. Black Singles”
charts. It’s called “R&B,” you morons.
NFL Quiz Answers: 1) Mark Van Eeghan, Oakland, 1977 (1,273
yards) 2) Clem Daniels, Oakland, 1963 (1,099 yards) 3) Paul
Robinson, Cincy, 1968 (1,023) 4) Thurman Thomas, Buffalo
(1990-91, 93) and Terrell Davis, Denver (1996-98)
Next Bar Chat, Thursday….Tombstone. It’s the 125th
anniversary of the shootout. I’ll try and come up with a tidbit or
two that’s halfway interesting.
