Countdown to 1,000 [Bar Chat #955]
NHL Quiz: Name the top ten all time in points scored. One is
still active. Answer below.
NCAA Final Four
Vanderbilt should have at least been playing on Sunday, but
nooooo…Georgetown’s Jeff Green wasn’t deemed to be
traveling on his game-winner Friday night.
And so the Hoyas moved on and North Carolina made just 2 of
its last 23 field goal attempts yesterday in one of the truly worst
performances since Naismith invented the game of basketball.
At least my pick since day one of the season, Florida, is still in it
as I seek to improve my record to 2-30 in the major sports;
college basketball and football, the NFL, and baseball.
But the Shu down in Arizona and I were exchanging some notes,
Shu being a Tar Heel fanatic, and I was reminded of a story last
week by Steve Politi of the Star-Ledger on Dean Smith.
“Look at the current Sweet 16. Not a single coach is taking a
team to this round for a third consecutive season. Smith did it
for 13 straight, from 1981-93, a run of success that may never be
matched. [Bob] Knight broke Smith’s record for all-time
victories this season, but needed 41 seasons to do what Smith did
in 36. Knight has 45 victories in 28 tournament appearances;
Smith has 65 in 27 – and his 879th and final victory put him in
the Final Four.”
Of course the above had zero to do with the reality of Sunday’s
Debacle, but I just thought it would help soothe some deep
wounds in the Carolina psyche today.
Stuff
–So, how do you think Duke’s Lindsey Harding, ACC Player of
the Year, feels after bricking two foul shots with a tick left on the
clock in Duke’s 53-52 loss to Rutgers in the NCAA women’s
tournament? What a crappy 12 months it has been for the school
overall, come to think of it.
–One of you forwarded a story to me from the San Jose Mercury
News and I couldn’t figure out who sent it. Anyway, it’s
appreciated; a piece by columnist Jon Wilner.
San Jose, a city with a greater population than Seattle, Portland,
Sacramento, Fresno, and Oakland, among other Western cities,
has produced just two top-rated college basketball prospects in
the past 20 years.
“It’s not just a dearth of high-level players,” writes Wilner. “San
Jose churns out few prospects of any caliber. There are more
than 600 scholarship players listed on the 2006-07 rosters for
Division I conferences in the West, and only five are from San
Jose. That’s one more than Missoula, Mont., which has a
population of 96,457.” [San Jose is home to around one million.]
[Next fall, Drew Gordon becomes a high school senior and he’s a
solid prospect.]
Wilner notes that the paucity of talent is not just because San
Jose is only 3.3% black, it’s about culture.
“Scientists haven’t found a ‘performance gene,’ said Ted Butryn,
associate professor of kinesiology at San Jose State. But, Butryn
said, there is evidence of a connection between basketball and
the black culture – a connection that does not exist in white,
Latino and Asian cultures.”
The median household income in San Jose plays a big factor.
It’s $70,920, which dwarfs Oakland, Fresno and Seattle. “Our
kids typically miss practice to go skiing,” said one AAU coach.
San Jose State University has been to the NCAA tournament just
once in the past 27 years. “How many sixth-grade boys dream of
playing for SJSU?” asks Wilner. “How many spend hours
shooting in the driveway, pretending to be the Spartans’ point
guard?”
–Poor Jeff Ruland, the Iona basketball coach. He took the Gaels
to the NCAA tournament two seasons ago but then suffered
through a dreadful 2-28 campaign that garnered national
publicity for all the wrong reasons. Evidently, boosters (I didn’t
know Iona had any to speak of) tired of him and Ruland was
fired.
Here’s how stupid this is. Again, we’re talking Iona, but the
school is willing to buy out his last two years for $1.2 million.
According to Lenn Robbins of the New York Post, the college
will pay $800,000 and the boosters will kick in another
$400,000. Ruland was in the midst of a 7-year deal worth about
$352,000 annually, but for some reason he is such a horrible
person they are shelling out $500,000 more just to get rid of him.
Now to be fair, Ruland did say last year that if the Seton Hall job
was offered to him (it went to Manhattan’s Bobby Gonzalez….
who then did a pitiful job this past season), he “would run down
I-95 to take it.” Well who wouldn’t? It’s Iona vs. the Big East,
for crying out loud.
–The bidding for Andre Agassi’s memoir is reportedly up to
$5.35 million. Goodness gracious.
–We note the passing of Larry “Bud” Melman at the age of 85.
AKA Calvert DeForest, Melman was a regular with David
Letterman.
“Everyone always wondered if Calvert was an actor playing a
character, but in reality he was just himself: a genuine, modest
and nice man,” Letterman said in a statement last week.
DeForest was a struggling actor who had a bit role in a student
film that caught the attention of Letterman and his head writer,
Merrill Markoe. DeForest then first appeared in 1982.
“What we liked about Calvert was he had this very odd, naïve
quality, almost like a kid,” Markoe told the Los Angeles Times’
Dennis McLellan. Letterman and Markoe came up with the
Larry “Bud” Melman name and had him doing all manner of
things, including commercials for “Toast-on-a-Stick.”
–Wow…nice run for Kobe Bryant. In finishing with 50 points
on Friday, thanks to hitting 16 of 16 from the foul line, he
became just the second player in NBA history to have four
straight games over that magic mark; the other being Wilt
Chamberlain who during the 1961-62 season had seven
consecutive games of 50. Bryant also has four 60-point games in
his career now, tied with Michael Jordan. Wilt had 32. [Bryant’s
streak ended Sunday when he had ‘just’ 43.]
–The Knicks were five games under .500 when owner James
Dolan inexplicably gave coach Isiah Thomas a contract
extension. Now they are nine games under.
–On Saturday night, I flipped on the New Jersey Nets game
down in Charlotte for the final few minutes. I have one question.
Does anyone in Charlotte who attends games there have any
hearing left? The damn public address/music system is so
freakin’ loud, you have to turn down the television volume. It’s
just non-stop noise being forced on the fans. Why would anyone
want to sit through this and be tortured worse than anything
we’ve done to the prisoners down at Gitmo? In fact, why don’t
we close Guantanamo, to satisfy world opinion, and move the
guys to the Charlotte arena? I can guarantee after five minutes
they would sing like canaries.
–OK…so you’re worth $50 million to $100 million and you
want a private chef. According to Robert Frank of the Wall
Street Journal, many of the nation’s better ones are opting to
forego the restaurant scene for the mansion, with the wealthy
paying chefs $70,000 to $120,000 a year.
Christian Paier, who runs an outfit called Private Chefs Inc., says
there are now more than 2,000 private chefs in the U.S. and
demand is exploding.
Robert Frank writes “A home chef usually earns 25% to 50%
more, puts in shorter hours (six- to eight-hour days, frequent
holidays), and works with food budgets that are, typically,
unlimited.”
It’s not all fun and games, however. It depends on who you’re
working for. For example, Audrey Heckwolf [no relation to
Beowulf…at least that I’m aware of), “cooked for years for a
wealthy Michigan family and generally loved her job. But she
often had to juggle several meals, trips and dinner parties at
once.”
“ ‘I would have to do a luncheon on Thursday, dinner for 30
people on Friday, then fly with them to one of their other homes
the next day and prepare dinner for 50 guests, and make sure
there was food at home for the kids while they were gone. There
is no margin for error.”
Audrey says she also never repeated the same meal during her
2 ½ years with the family! I’d have a problem with this.
Chex Mix with Coors Light
Chex Mix with Heineken
Chex Mix with Shiner Bock
Chex Mix with Yuengling
Cottage Cheese with Yuengling
Mixed Nuts with Heineken
White Castle Frozen Mini-Burgers with Coors Light
Taylor Ham with Shiner Bock
Salmon Sunday with Coors Light or Heineken and six slices of
whole wheat bread…olive oil drizzled on the side. Then a box of
Girl Scout cookies…preferably frozen for two weeks to ensure
that locked in flavor…washed down by another Coors Light or
suitable premium brand.
That’s about it. I’d be out of a job in no time.
–The federal government is removing the grizzly bear from the
endangered species list next month. In Yellowstone National
Park there are 500 of these terrorists that seek to topple the U.S.
government once they obtain tactical nukes from their Russian
colleagues.
By taking grizzlies off the list, it means they can be killed under
circumstances outside of the friendly confines of Jellystone; and
don’t you know the grizzlies have been discussing this in their
dens all winter.
Of course you understand what the grizzlies real plan is, don’t
you? Hold the government hostage until they are granted what
every Native American species has obtained the past two decades
……casinos.
–Our own Dr. Bortrum and I have long marveled at the
intelligence of ravens and now comes this, courtesy of Scientific
American and Smithsonian:
“Ravens are even smarter than we thought. In fact, experiments
show these birds have abilities usually associated with the great
apes, researchers Bernd Heinrich and Thomas Bugnyar write.
“Long known for performing uncanny feats like piling crackers
in order to carry away the whole stack, ravens may use logic
rather than mere trial and error to perform tasks. Their
experiments imply that ravens can recognize other ravens,
remember what other ravens have done and keep track of what
other ravens know. Ravens were also able to figure out that a
series of steps were needed to get a piece of meat without trial
and error.
“Why are ravens this smart? They must deal with complex
situations, since they work in groups and feed off meat killed by
other animals. Neither instinct nor rote learning might be
efficient guides to the resulting complicated situations, in which
rules shift frequently.
“The authors speculate that ravens’ highly playful behavior
allows them to experiment and learn about whatever
environments they are in. Ravens then make conscious decisions
based on what they have learned, perhaps a reason why they
have become the most widely naturally distributed bird on the
planet.”
–Ripped from the pages of The Moscow Times:
“A scantily clad, 32-year-old man was found dead early Monday
in a pool of blood in an owl cage at the Moscow Zoo. A bird
keeper at the zoo found the man lying in the cage, which is home
to a Siberian long-tailed tawny owl….
The deputy prosecutor “said it was not clear what killed the man
– blood loss from a blow to the head, or freezing to death.”
Now it seems the victim had been drunk, “made his way through
the zoo and entered the unlocked owl cage via an unguarded staff
entrance….At this point, no one quite knows what happened.
(Alexander) Luparev apparently hit his head on the ground –
possibly following an altercation with the owl – and fell
unconscious.”
Turns out the owl “flew out of its cage after the incident” and
was found perched in a tree next door to the zoo!
“The owl is still in a state of shock,” zoo spokeswoman Natalya
Istratova said Wednesday.
My word. It seems pretty clear to me what happened. The owl
clubbed the poor sap and now is playing dumb, even though we
know owls are smart. It will be interesting to see how Putin’s
goons handle this one.
–In the April 2007 edition of Smithsonian, there’s a piece on
how researchers believe bird flu will finally reach the United
States: “through live poultry and poultry products imported from
Asia and other infected regions to Latin America, where it could
spread to wild fowl that migrate to North America.”
Previous findings said H5N1 would be carried by migratory birds
from Siberia to Alaska. A Smithsonian ecologist says this focus
on Alaska is misguided. Currently, the U.S. restricts poultry
imports, quarantining live birds and prohibiting bringing any in
from regions with bird flu outbreaks, but many Latin American
nations aren’t as careful.
In a related matter, Mark R. notes that the first victims in
America will be golfers as they traipse on grounds filled with
infected geese dung………………and get that tee out of your
mouth!
–The other day during a practice round at Doral, Roger Federer,
in town for his own tourney, was walking in the gallery
following Tiger Woods. But since Federer was being mobbed,
Woods brought his good friend inside the ropes. “I’m sure I’ll
get fined for it,” said Woods. “I don’t mind paying. I think it’s
pretty neat when you have probably the most dominant athlete on
the planet out there in your gallery.”
–Meanwhile…Tiger merely won his 56th PGA Tour event on
Sunday and aside from being 39-3 when at least sharing the lead
heading into the final round, he has now accomplished it 31
straight times. This record has to start finding its way into the
discussion when thinking of the greatest marks of all time, such
as Joe DiMaggio’s hitting streak.
–You can’t help but admire and respect golfer Gary Player, but
you can also see how he’d be a bit of a pain if you hung around
him for too long. A little too hyped up, know what I’m sayin’?
So it should be no surprise that the natural rivalry between
Arnold Palmer and Player, forged over the past 50 years, is on
the verge of erupting into a little more of a tiff than is warranted.
It seems Player is determined to play in the Masters thru 2008,
which would mark his 51st appearance and thus break Arnie’s
record of 50. Arnie remarked the other day, “Well, Gary is going
to do whatever he can to top whatever I’ve done. That includes
living longer or whatever.” [Arnie’s getting a bit grouchy in his
old age.]
–From Stu Schneider of Golf World:
“Golf World has learned NBC personnel apologized to Phil
Mickelson for two recent on-air comments the Mickelson camp
reportedly found objectionable – neither of which, believe it or
not, involved (Johnny) Miller. The second came during
Thursday’s Golf Channel telecast at Bay Hill, when Kelly
Tilghman asked (Gary) Koch about Mickelson’s remarks in
ESPN Magazine, which include candid thoughts on his rivalry
with Tiger Woods. ‘That’s a pretty strong statement and an
honest statement from Phil Mickelson,’ Koch said, ‘and I have to
be honest, a guy who, to me, sometimes is not totally honest as
far as his feelings, and really, what he’s thinking.’ The first
occurred at the FBR Open, when Dan Hicks referred to Jeff
Quinney’s collapse down the stretch as ‘Mickelsonesque.’ A
representative of Gaylord Sports, Mickelson’s management
company, claimed to have no knowledge of any apology, but an
NBC spokesperson confirmed a conversation took place. ‘If a
player has an issue with something one of our guys says, they’re
always willing to discuss it with them,’ he said.”
–Michelle Wie’s wrist hasn’t healed in time and she will miss
this week’s first major on the LPGA Tour, the Kraft Nabisco
Championship.
–“For Better or For Worse” update…the “Party of the Century”
continues and Jeff B. and I are upset Becky hasn’t shown up yet
to embarrass Michael. I’m beginning to think, however, that the
Canadian Mounties are about to raid Weed’s place in what will
turn out to be that nation’s biggest drug haul, ever. The clincher
would be if we see Dr. Patterson then led off in handcuffs for
being the ringleader in a related steroids investigation. Jeff B.
notes that clearly Barry Bonds would then be implicated and
voila! The pursuit of Aaron is over.
But all of us, including my brother, are still wondering how you
can hold a book party when the book hasn’t even been published
yet! “Hell,” wrote Brother Harry, “has he even gotten the check
yet? Who ever heard of a contract party?” Excellent point, Bro.
Finally, on Monday, April’s friend Gerald has come over to the
Patterson family house to have a good time. The kid is like 15 or
16 and brought a bottle of wine. As Jeff B. noted, Gerald makes
Chopper-boy look subtle.
–Yes, we can’t wait for baseball to start here in the New York
area because it’s going to be all A-Rod, 24 hours a day. Picture
that he is definitely walking after this season, even with three
years left on his contract, because he has an opt-out clause. Last
week the Yankees announced they would not hike his salary as
A-Rod and his agent want.
So he’s either going to play spectacularly well, thus ensuring a
new long-term deal from someone like the Angels, or Yankee
fans are going to be so tough on him because he’s hitting like
.290 and choking in the clutch, that Rodriguez will have a
nervous breakdown. You’ve gotta love it! [Guaranteed Bar Chat
filler, is how I really view it.]
–I see where “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is definitely returning
early next year.
–Peyton Manning’s first skit with the kids playing football on
SNL the other night was funny stuff.
–Herb Alpert, on the famous 1965 album cover for “Whipped
Cream & Other Delights” that showed a woman clad only in a
frothy cream.
“When my partner and I saw it, we thought maybe it was pushing
it a little too much. But it seemed like a lot of people bought the
album just for the cover. I think it’s one of my best albums. It
sold 14 million copies, and I think it was the breakthrough
album. It had ‘A Taste of Honey’ on it.” [Smithsonian]
[Your editor’s family bought it for the cover.]
Top 3 songs for the week of 3/29/69: #1 “Dizzy” (Tommy Roe)
#2 “Traces” (Classics IV featuring Dennis Yost) #3 “Time Of
The Season” (The Zombies…vastly underrated group)…and…
#4 “Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In” (The 5th Dimension) #5
“Proud Mary” (Creedence Clearwater Revival…their worst…
and boy do I hate Ike & Tina Turner’s version…geezuz, can
there be a stupider song around? And like all Tina does is just
scream…aaghhhhh!) #8 “Galveston” (Glen Campbell) #9 “My
Whole World Ended (The Moment You Left Me)” (David Ruffin
…his “Walk Away From Love” from 1975 one of my top ten all
time) #10 “Only The Strong Survive” (Jerry Butler…another
underrated performer… “Western Union Man”, which peaked at
#16, a classic…and why the hell isn’t Butler in the Hall of
Fame?!)
Happy 60th birthday to Elton John. To celebrate, he held his
record 60th concert at Madison Square Garden.
NHL Quiz Answer: Top ten in points scored.
1. Wayne Gretzky…894 goals…1963 assists…2857
2. Mark Messier…694…1193…1887
3. Gordie Howe…801…1049…1850
4. Ron Francis…549…1249…1798
5. Marcel Dionne…731…1040…1771
6. Steve Yzerman…692…1063…1755
7. Mario Lemieux…690…1033…1723
8. Phil Esposito…717…873…1590
9. Ray Bourque…410…1169…1579
10. x-Joe Sakic…606…971…1577 (thru Friday)
12. x-Jaromir Jagr…617…901…1518
x-active
Boy, I forgot just how good Bourque was, not having been a big
time hockey fan during his heyday. [Mine was more like 1967-
80; except for when the Rangers won the Cup later on.] Bourque
is the all-time leader among defenseman and he also had 180
points in 214 postseason contests.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday….Baseball 2007…and the PICK TO
CLICK!!!!!!
