[Next Chat…Thurs. May 31, with a few add-ons 5/28]
*May 28….just a few tidbits since our last chat.
–Sports Illustrated polled 464 major league ballplayers, asking
the question “If you could play for any major league team other
than your own, which one would it be?”
San Diego, the Yankees, and Atlanta tied with 10% apiece. I
was kind of surprised about Atlanta, actually, but 18% of players
27 years old or younger voted for the Braves, thanks in no small
part to their reputation for developing talent. All teams received
at least one vote, but three received just a single tally…Detroit,
Tampa Bay and Kansas City.
–Lots of animal chat the past few days…
Yahia Rahim Tulba attempted to sneak 700 live snakes on a
plane from Cairo to Saudi Arabia. Now I’m having trouble
picturing this, but they were in his carry-on bag, including two
cobras! Tulba was hoping to sell them.
This is depressing….new studies show the tiger population in
India could be as low as a few hundred! Back in 2002, a
definitive report pegged it at 3,700…down from 40,000 a century
ago. Once again it’s all about the poachers, but with a China
twist. China continues to propose a lifting of the international
ban on the trade in tiger parts, saying the ban has not helped
combat poaching, while the Indian WWF says such a move
would “sound the death knell” for the species. The illegal trade
has become so ridiculous that a single specimen can fetch up to
$50,000 on the black market.
And then there is Hogzilla II. I have to admit, I’m still not
convinced this story is true because when I first saw the picture I
figured it could have been tampered with. But after a debate on
the subject at a family picnic on Sunday, I guess I have to take
the evidence at face value.
But in the off chance you missed it, an 11-year-old Alabama boy
hunting on a preserve with his father brought down a 1,051-
pound pig after a three hour chase. The hunt took place May 3,
but didn’t hit the wires until May 26, which fueled my initial
suspicions.
Anyway, the kid came across this gigantic 9 foot, 4 inch pig and
he squeezed off 8 shots from his Smith & Wesson .50-claiber
revolver. But the wounded animal ran off. So the boy and his
dad tracked it by watching the trees shake. Finally, Jamison
Stone got a clean shot off and our piggie was dead. The animal
was then hauled with a backhoe to an industrial scale.
Now recall that the original Hogzilla was said to have weighed
1,000 pounds, though National Geographic later did a study
putting the weight at 800 pounds and 8 feet in length rather than
the 12 feet legend had it.
Supposedly, Hogzilla II produced 500 to 700 pounds of sausage.
Understand this animal was as big as a fully grown rhino and so
I’m thinking, how could it have escaped notice all these years?
But here’s a more conventional tale. Just days after the gorilla
Bokito escaped from his zoo, an orangutan left his cage at a zoo
on Taiwan, the same one where a crocodile had recently
chomped off a veterinarian’s arm. This time, the orangutan
pushed his way out of his cage and wandered into a nearby
restaurant courtyard.
“As zoo officials scurried to bring the animal under control, he
gleefully overturned picnic tables and motorbikes, forcing
terrified diners to cower inside.”
The orangutan was finally subdued with a stun gun.
Then there’s the case of the giant African rats that federal
officials are battling on the Florida Keys. The Gambian pouched
rats, which can reach the size of a cat and inflict a wicked bite,
threaten crops and other animals, let alone us. A former exotic
pet breeder, living on the Keys, bred the species and released
them….idiot.
If these beasts aren’t eradicated, they could eventually find their
way onto the Florida mainland where they would destroy
everything in their path, including all those increasingly empty
condo towers.
So here’s hoping the plan by wildlife officials to poison the rats
is successful.
–The father of St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock has
filed a suit against the restaurant that served his son before his
fatal car accident on April 29. This is disturbing on a number of
levels, the first being that is involves a St. Louis Cardinal legend,
Mike Shannon, whose restaurant Hancock was drinking at
following a game. The lawsuit claims Hancock was at the bar
more than 3 ½ hours.
Dean Hancock, the father, also sued the operator of the tow truck
that Hancock plowed into, claiming the guy took too long to
remove a disabled vehicle. At first blush, you may be thinking
‘How can you sue that guy?’ But, supposedly, the operator
failed to put flares out.
–Interesting piece in Sports Illustrated on Milwaukee first
baseman Prince Fielder and his estranged relationship with his
father, former slugger Cecil. The two haven’t spoken in years.
But the story is really about how Cecil lost his fortune, despite
$47 million in career earnings. It’s amazing how often this
happens in the world of sport. In his case, thanks to bad
investments and excessive gambling, he lost a 50-room dream
home and his divorce tore the family apart in more ways than
one (Prince sided with Mom).
Creditors were after Cecil for years, with one saying he was
trying to track him down for two to three years all across the
country because Cecil owed $909,000 for defaulting on a lease
agreement for a Detroit-area trucking company. Another creditor
was Trump Plaza Casino in Atlantic City, which successfully
sued Cecil for $580,000 he lost during a gambling binge in 1999.
Prince Fielder also accused his father of taking $200,000 from
him when Cecil was acting as his son’s agent and Prince received
a $2.4 million signing bonus.
Cecil is now a minor league hitting instructor, but attempts to get
back in Prince’s good graces have failed thus far.
–The best part about the book “Seabiscuit” was how it really
gave you a sense of the life of a jockey…and what a tough one it
is. I have a tremendous amount of respect for these guys and so I
note the sad story of jockey Andrew Lakeman who was critically
injured in a spill at Belmont Park on Friday. Lakeman suffered
“severe spine trauma” and his prognosis is not good.
–The Osmonds are reuniting this summer for a 50th anniversary
show that will be shown on television. But here’s what I don’t
get. The shows will be taped on Aug. 13-14 at The Orleans
Hotel Showroom in Las Vegas, but won’t air until next March on
PBS! Whassup with dat?!
–Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox was ejected for the second
straight game on Saturday and is now just one away from the
career mark of 131 held by John McGraw. [14 of McGraw’s
ejections came as a player so Cox already holds the manager
record.]
–1996 Tour de France champion Bjarne Riis became the first
Tour winner to admit using steroids to win the race, meaning the
the top-three for ’96 have now all been linked to doping.
George Vecsey wrote a scathing indictment of the sport in
Sunday’s New York Times.
“When a prominent rider and coach like Bjarne Riis offers to
turn back his yellow 1996 championship jersey because he
cheated, as he did Friday, cycling has officially become as bogus
as pro wrestling. Companies are already dropping their
sponsorships because of the gruesome publicity….
“At least American baseball officials can portray themselves as
naifs who did not understand why sluggers and pitchers were
suddenly bulked up in the late 1990s. Cycling, however, has a
century of anthologized anecdotes about the use of stimulants.”
Cycling, in other words, is dead…and if you are one of what
must now be only a handful of folks who believe Lance
Armstrong is innocent, you are sadly mistaken.
–We note the passing of a local New Jersey golf legend, Babe
Lichardus, 81. Growing up he was big stuff in this area, having
won four New Jersey Opens and five N.J. PGA Championships.
Lichardus also played the regular PGA Tour for two years.
–Senator John McCain listed his five favorite books on soldiers
in wartime, as told to the Wall Street Journal.
1. “For Whom The Bell Tolls,” Ernest Hemingway (1940)
2. “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,”
Edward Gibbon (1776-88)
3. “This Kind of War,” T.R. Fehrenbach (1963…about Korea)
4. “Hell in a Very Small Place,” Bernard B. Fall (1966…about
Vietnam battle of Dien Bien Phu in 1954)
5. “All Quiet on the Western Front,” Erich Maria Remarque
(1929)
–I was reading a New York Post Page Six piece on Cannes and
noticed that the cast of “Entourage,” one of my favorite shows,
was at the biggest party of the 12 days, that being Kid Rock’s
bash on his yacht which included Bono, James Blunt, Leo,
Jessica Simpson, Mischa Barton (ooh baby) and Jude Law.
“ ‘Entourage’ was in Cannes to shoot a scene starring Kevin
(‘Drama’) Dillon on the red carpet.”
So it looks like a great episode coming up, sports fans.
–It would appear that Jeff B.’s wife Kathy was basically spot on
in her analysis of “For Better or For Worse.” April believes she
is responsible for the tree falling on her parents’ new home.
Whether or not she actually felled it, with her own hands, can
only be determined through waterboarding….not that we
condone it at Bar Chat in most other cases.
–Late sports bits…Dario Franchitti won the Indy 500 for the first
time, pleasing his actress/wife Ashley Judd. And Casey Mears
captured his first Nextel Cup race in winning the Coca-Cola 600.
But the story here, to me, was Kyle Petty’s first top five (3rd) in
10 years!
–Golfer Rory Sabbatini won his 4th PGA title, defeating Jim
Furyk and 49-year-old Bernhard Langer in a playoff at Colonial.
–Barry Bonds hit #746…..drat!
–Sadly, Howard Porter died of the injuries noted below. The
investigation is ongoing.
–A confidential source told ESPN that Michael Vick is a
heavyweight in the dog fighting world, betting as much as
$30,000 to $40,000 at a clip. The source has been aiding law
enforcement in its investigation.
–And we note the passing of comedian Charles Nelson Reilly at
the age of 76. Reilly, of course, was best known for his stints on
“Match Game” and “Hollywood Squares” and also appeared on
“The Tonight Show” some 95 times. His openly gay persona
was way ahead of its time.
—
5/24
Indy 500 Quiz: 1) Name the three to win four. 2) Who won in
both 1959 and 1962. 3) Name the two Formula One drivers to
win Indy back to back in 1965 and 66. 4) Who am I? I won in
1999 and my initials are K.B. 5) What NASCAR driver was
Indy Rookie of the Year in 1970? [Hint: By my cursory look at
the results, no traditional NASCAR driver has ever won at Indy.
Granted, few have tried owing to the schedule for that day.]
Answers below.
Memorial Day
The American Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington
National Cemetery was dedicated on November 11, 1921. The
soldier was brought over from a battlefield in France and was
subsequently joined by unidentified soldiers from World War II
and the Korean and Vietnam Wars.
“The Unknown Soldier,” by Billy Rose
There’s a graveyard near the White House
Where the Unknown Soldier lies,
And the flowers there are sprinkled
With the tears from mother’s eyes.
I stood there not so long ago
With roses for the brave,
And suddenly I heard a voice
Speak from out the grave:
“I am the Unknown Soldier,”
The spirit voice began,
“And I think I have the right
To ask some questions man to man.
“Are my buddies taken care of?
Was their victory so sweet?
Is that big reward you offered
Selling pencils on the street?
“Did they really win the freedom
They battled to achieve?
Do you still respect that Croix de Guerre
Above that empty sleeve?
“Does a gold star in the window
Now mean anything at all?
I wonder how my old girl feels
When she hears a bugle call.
“And that baby who sang
‘Hello, Central, give me no man’s land’ –
Can they replace her daddy
With a military band?
“I wonder if the profiteers
Have satisfied their greed?
I wonder if a soldier’s mother
Ever is in need?
“I wonder if the kings, who planned it all
Are really satisfied?
They played their game of checkers
And eleven million died.
“I am the Unknown Soldier
And maybe I died in vain,
But if I were alive and my country called,
I’d do it all over again.”
[Source: “A Patriot’s Handbook,” edited by Caroline Kennedy]
Letters of War
George Saito to His Father
[From the book “Letters of a Nation,” edited by Andrew Carroll]
“Ironically, a regiment composed entirely of Japanese American
soldiers – most of whom were the sons of parents detained in the
camps – went on to become one of the most highly decorated
units in World War II. Military leaders were originally reluctant
to let Japanese Americans fight, but they finally relented and
created the 442nd Regimental Combat Team. The 442nd gained
acclaim for saving members of the 141st Regiment’s First
Battalion, known as ‘The Lost Battalion,’ who were trapped by
the Germans in France and went without food or supplies for
eight days. Although the cause was deemed hopeless, the 442nd
was sent in and, after a ferocious battle, successfully carried out
the rescue. [Approximately 800 members of the 442nd were
killed or seriously wounded trying to save 211 members of the
141st.] One of the members of the unit, George Saito, was
serving overseas with his brother, Calvin, while the rest of the
Saito family was being held in an internment camp in the States.
The following letter was written by George on July 11, 1944 –
over three and a half months before the famed Lost Battalion
rescue – to his father, Kiichi Saito, four days after his brother
was killed in action.”
Dear Dad –
I believe the War Dept. has notified you of our loss of Calvin –
Dad I am writing you now because I’ve just learned of his
passing – July 7th was the immemorable day –
I can imagine what a shock it was to you, as it was to me,
because it happened too soon – on the 12th day of combat –
A few events and action leading up to the time of his loss as
related by a member of his company, are – On the 6th of July his
unit was attacking a hill held by the enemy – After a hard fight
with even a little hand to hand combat, they took the hill – The
Jerries, after being shoved off were reforming for a counter-
attack – In the confusion and disorder of battle, Cal being the
radio-man, somehow, got a call thru to the artillery to open fire
on the enemy – He personally directed and guided the firing on
the enemy positions which routed the enemy – His action and
doing his job well at this one instance, explained the fellows,
saved many of his buddies – Their unit held that hill that night
but the next morning the enemy barraged the hill with mortars
and he happened to be one of the unlucky ones – His passing was
instantaneous – All of the fellows were telling me what a good
soldier and radio-man he was and that his loss was keenly felt –
Well Dad – now that the inevitable has happened I guess you’re
wondering about his remains – Right now I can’t do much for
we’re still in battle and I am writing you while at our gun
position, but as I understand things now – they will bury him
here in Italy and after the war you can ask the Government to
transfer them to an American cemetery in the States. His
personal belongings will be shipped to you in time –
Dad – this is not time to be preaching to you but I have
something on my chest which I want you to hear – In spite of
Cal’s supreme sacrifice don’t let anyone tell you that he was
foolish or made a mistake to ‘volunteer’. Of what I’ve seen in
my travels on our mission I am more convinced that we’ve done
the right thing in spite of what has happened in the past –
America is a damn good country and don’t let anyone tell you
otherwise –
Well Dad, the Germans are beginning to throw a few shells our
way now so maybe I’d better get down in my hole. If there is
anything else that you’d like to know except the place I shall
only be too glad to let you know. In time tho’ when we’re
allowed I’ll give you the exact location –
Cheer up Dad and do take care of yourself – Regards to all –
Your loving son
George
[Tragically, three months after sending his father this letter,
George Saito was also killed in battle.]
Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler
In honor of the tremendous job U.S. Special Forces are doing
over in Afghanistan and Iraq, I thought I’d reprise a little piece
I’ve done in the past, the story of Staff Sergeant Barry
Sadler and his hit single, “The Ballad of the Green Berets,”
though Sadler’s own story isn’t a great one.
Born in 1940, Sadler became a member of the Special Ops,
earning his Green Beret and serving mainly as a medic in
Vietnam. It was while he was recuperating from a leg wound
that he began writing the song that would make him famous.
Sadler had been inspired by a hit book by Robin Moore titled
“The Green Berets.” Moore actually wrote most of the lyrics,
with Sadler handling the music. And then in the spring of 1966,
the “Ballad of the Green Berets” rocketed up the billboard pop
chart, hitting #1 on March 5 and staying at the top for five weeks.
[The LP of the same title also went to #1.]
Sadler then largely disappeared until December 1978, when he
was involved in a shooting in Nashville that left a local
songwriter, Lee Bellamy, dead. The incident evidently occurred
over a woman, but Sadler was not charged. Then in 1981, he
was involved in another shooting (this time non-fatal) and in
justifying his plea of innocence he explained, “I”m a Green
Beret. If I’d shot him, he’d be dead.”
Unfortunately, in 1988 Sadler was shot in the head during a
robbery attempt while he was entering a cab in Guatemala. What
he was doing there is a mystery. Sadler said he was training
Contras, a story others have disputed. Anyway, he suffered some
brain damage and died a year later of heart failure in Tennessee.
Aside from his big moment in the music biz, Sadler was also a
highly successful author, penning some 22 novels based on a
mercenary figure. A large portion of his earnings went to a trust
fund he established for Vietnamese orphans.
The Ballad of the Green Berets
Fighting soldiers from the sky
Fearless men who jump and die
Men who mean just what they say
The brave men of the Green Beret
Chorus:
Silver wings upon their chest
These are men, America’s best
One hundred men will test today
But only three win the Green Beret
Trained to live off nature’s land
Trained in combat, hand-to-hand
Men who fight by night and day
Courage peak from the Green Berets
Chorus:
Silver wings upon their chest
These are men, America’s best
One hundred men will test today
But only three win the Green Beret
Back at home a young wife waits
Her Green Beret has met his fate
He has died for those oppressed
Leaving her his last request
“Put silver wings on my son’s chest
Make him one of America’s best
He’ll be a man they’ll test one day
Have him win the Green Beret”
Iraq Tale
[This isn’t pretty…but it’s important to understand what our men
and women are going through as they serve our country.]
U.S. News & World Report’s Alex Kingsbury befriended Army
Staff Sgt. Darrell Ray Griffin Jr. while reporting from Iraq, only
to learn after spending extensive time with him that Griffin had
been killed by a sniper on March 21, 2007. In the May 21 issue
of USN&WR, Kingsbury wrote of being imbedded with Griffin’s
unit last February and early March and the remarkable
conversations they had.
Griffin himself wrote extensively of his experiences in his two
tours in Iraq and took many pictures and videos of the battles he
was involved in. On one such occasion, Jan. 3, 2005, his unit
was called to deal with the body of an Iraqi policeman’s son,
who had been beheaded in Tal Afar.
“We took some Iraqi cops to the scene and did in fact see a
headless body with the head carefully stacked on top of the chest
with the body lying flat on the ground. The police officers (3)
went up to the body to identify it while security was maintained
for them by us. Before they got within 8 ft. of the body, the body
exploded and killed one while injuring severely the others…We
took the torso back to the castle where we have been for awhile
and had to unzip the body bag so that other family members
could identify the lower half by the shoes he was wearing.
“Later in the day, the Iraqi police, who were family members of
the destroyed body, began to drink heavily and one of them (Ali)
started shooting randomly into the crowded traffic circle below
the castle. We watched as he killed a 17 yr. old girl, a 7 yr. old
girl and a 28 yr. old male. We could not intervene as this was
happening for very complex reasons. This has been one of the
most horrific days of my entire 34 yrs. of living on this earth….I
am stupefied and stand in tragic awe in the face of this carnage,
what could I possibly say? Where was God today?”
Stuff
–The saga of Jason Giambi just grows and grows. According to
T.J. Quinn of the New York Daily News, Giambi failed a test for
amphetamines, which explains his cryptic comments to USA
Today last week, when he said that he is “probably tested more
than anyone else.”
Quinn, who has been at the forefront of reporting on the steroids
scandal, writes:
“Under MLB policy, there are two reasons a player would be
required to submit to additional testing: The first is a failed
steroid test, but failed steroid tests are made public. The second
is a failed amphetamines test, which would not be made public.
An amphetamine is technically a specific kind of stimulant, but
the term is used in anti-doping circles as a catch-all for any
banned stimulants, including drugs that are illegal without a
prescription, as well as some over-the-counter medications that
are considered performance-enhancers.”
Because Giambi failed the test, under baseball’s amphetamines
policy, which went into effect last season, a player who fails the
first time is not punished, and the information kept confidential,
but he can be tested six additional times within the next year.
After the second offense, he is suspended 25 games.
Giambi is slated to talk to Commissioner Bud Selig on Thursday.
It’s safe to say he has some ‘splaining to do.
[Update, Thurs. Giambi met with Selig on Wednesday, it turns
out. No details were forthcoming.]
It was the Daily News that reported Barry Bonds had failed an
amphetamines test last season, and the San Diego Union-Tribune
reported that 80 or more players may have failed.
Mike Lupica / New York Daily News
“(Giambi) started this with his own words this time. Talking
about ‘stuff.’ Saying that he, Jason Giambi, got tested more than
anybody else. For a long time he didn’t say enough and then he
said too much, and now he keeps moving up on the last great
battleground for his sport: The guaranteed contract.
“For such a long time, in what became the steroid era of the
sport, nobody on the players’ side seemed particularly interested
in the integrity of the game, just the integrity of the money
coming in. Drug testing was supposed to be a great battleground
and then the Players Association got backed into a corner on that
one five years ago and had no choice. Now there is drug testing,
for some more than others, apparently. And the battleground
could become the sanctity and strength of contracts like
Giambi’s.
“Always those contracts were supposed to be stronger than
ballplayers wanted to become. Before long, we might find out if
those contracts are made of the same strong stuff guys like
Giambi, and his agent, and his union, always thought they were.”
–John Wayne’s 100th birthday would have been this coming
May 27 and folks in both Orange County, California, where he
spent most of his life, as well as his birthplace of Winterset,
Iowa, are celebrating. I’m going to be in Winterset mid-August
and will have some thoughts on Wayne at that time.
And this is interesting. May 27 would also have been Rachel
Carson’s 100th birthday.
–Yet another serious incident involving park rangers in Africa;
this one in Democratic Republic of Congo (the big one on the
map) where rebels killed a ranger and critically injured three
more. “Some 200 Mai Mai militia fighters attacked three
observation posts in the Virunga National Park. They are
threatening to kill a rare group of mountain gorillas if the
authorities come after them.”
4 million…4 million!…have died in the civil war here over about
the past 10-12 years and unfortunately there are two important
gorilla populations that have been at the center of things. The
Congolese rangers have done tremendous work in trying to
protect them. [Close to 100 rangers have been killed since the
war started in 1996.]
John Wayne would know what to do with the poachers!!!!!
–There has been another coyote attack in Middletown, New
Jersey. For the second time in two months, a child was mauled,
the latest a 5-year-old boy who should be OK but is undergoing
rabies treatment after being bitten about the head. The boy was
walking near his home with his 8-year-old sister when the attack
occurred and the girl’s screams scared the coyote off.
“Within minutes, a coyote was spotted in the same housing
development. Police fired one shot, and the animal appeared to
twitch, the lieutenant said. But a search of the area did not turn
up a carcass or even a blood trail.” [Star-Ledger]
This attack took place just a 1/8 of a mile from the previous one.
No coyote was ever caught after that incident either.
–A number of you alerted me to the story about the female
hammerhead that gave birth without being impregnated. What I
got a kick out of was the fact this took place at my favorite zoo in
the world, the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Nebraska.
So I have to take you back to 9/13/05 and comments I made
following my trip to Lincoln, Neb., to see Wake Forest play the
Cornhuskers.
“Alas, who gives a damn about a football game when one can go
to the Omaha Zoo! That’s what I just did on Sunday and I’m
here to tell you, this is the best zoo in the world…and I’ve been
to virtually all the big ones. After my trip to Singapore last year,
I thought maybe that one was the best (combined with its
separate ‘Night Zoo’) but for a total package, you can’t beat the
Henry Doorly Zoo.
“As a matter of fact, this zoo had the best aquarium I’ve ever
seen. Not the largest, mind you, but the best set of way cool
exhibits, including something I’ve never seen before, the leafy
sea dragon …a seahorse with a bush growing out of it.
“And what an incredible vampire bat exhibit….goodness
gracious, these little suckers were drinking blood out of dishes.
“Then you had a bunch of Macaws from Brazil. Now you
wouldn’t ordinarily think some tropical birds would be so
fascinating, but you ain’t seen these Macaws, I mean to tell you.
Let’s just say that if you are in the jungle and hear these awful
birds, run for your life! The screaming would drive you crazy; at
which point a python would come along and swallow you whole,
thereby putting you out of your misery.
“This zoo, known for its unique desert exhibit – complete with a
30-foot sand dune and 50-foot mountain – also had a spectacular
cave / night-life complex with a giant swamp where the alligators
were practically on top of you. Plus it had the coolest beaver
exhibit you ever did see. I took the opportunity to ask them
about the housing bubble, seeing as they appeared to be on a
break in their den, and they told me…………..well, I’m not
telling you. It’s a secret; just suffice it to say I’m selling my
townhouse as soon as I get back and renting for a spell.
“What else did I learn? Jaguars are bigger than leopards, the
Siberian Tiger can be 10-feet long and outweigh the African lion
by 100 lbs., and the Taipan is the deadliest snake in Australia.
“So there you have it…my trip to the zoo. And to top it off there
was a local burger joint nearby that served up the best wildebeest
cheeseburger I’ve had in years.”
[The beavers really did give me great info on the housing bubble,
as history proves.]
–You want the definition of an “Idiot of the Year”? Try
Washington Redskin running back Clinton Portis, who the other
day defended quarterback Michael Vick amid allegations Vick
was fighting dogs on his property in Virginia.
“I don’t know if he was fighting the dogs or not, but it’s his
property, it’s his dog,” Portis told WAVY-TV in Virginia. “If
that’s what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind
their business.”
When told that dog fighting is a felony, Portis replied, “It can’t
be too bad of a crime.”
Here’s hoping Portis gets stuffed at the line time and time again
this coming season.
–Ryo Ishikawa set an amazing record last weekend. Ishikawa,
all of 15 years of age, won a Japanese pro golf tournament,
becoming the youngest winner of one in that country, a record
previously held by Seve Ballesteros. Since he’s an amateur,
though, he only got to keep the silver trophy. Otherwise he
would have won about $165,000.
You can imagine that the Japanese press is already comparing
him to his idol, Tiger Woods. The Sankei Sports described
Ishikawa as a “genius who goes far beyond Woods.” He opened
the tourney with a 72 and 69, good for 23rd, then followed with a
69 in the third and a 66 in the final round.
–Here’s yet another instance of how it’s so tough to stay at the
top on the PGA Tour and why guys like Tiger and Mickelson are
to be admired.
Todd Hamilton won the British Open in 2004. Less than three
years later, Hamilton has won a whopping $27,000 this year on
Tour in 13 events.
–A 65-year-old man teed off with three friends on the second
hole of the Pala Mesa Resort Golf Course, north of San Diego,
and then got into his cart. The cart veered off the concrete
pathway, traveled down a 25-foot embankment and went over
the edge of a cliff. He died on impact. It was only 10 a.m. and
drugs and alcohol were not thought to have been factors in the
crash. No word on whether the other three finished their rounds.
–Here’s a good one from the Moscow Times. “A man walking
his dog in a forest discovered almost $700,000 in cash that had
been stolen from a Sberbank branch in Chita in one of the
country’s largest heists in recent history.”
Investigators determined that the loot belonged to the bank that
was robbed of $1.5 million on May 12. “The robbers entered the
bank through a window in the early morning and shot dead two
guards before making off with the cash and valuables.
Investigators believe one of the guards was an accomplice who
opened the window.”
Five suspects were arrested, including the ringleader, and
investigators found the body of a sixth, who the ringleader
admitted to killing. So $700,000 was found near this poor
fellow’s body, but “It appears that after leaving the bank, the
robbers split up, divvied up the money and went to hide it in
different spots.”
But the man and his dog found the other half. Of course this
being Russia, the honest guy probably got nothing for turning it
in except a few shots of vodka with the boys.
–Selena Roberts of the New York Times writes some
tremendous sports columns and I loved the beginning of this one
on Floyd Landis and the arbitration panel he has been testifying
before.
“Floyd Landis demanded an open hearing to dupe the public with
his quaint props, with a symbolic yellow tie under his shirt collar,
with his mother in the courtroom wearing a bonnet, with his
father all but ready to churn butter for the jury.
“Floyd, too Amish country to be a Tour de France cheat. Floyd,
wholesome as a buggy ride.
“Transparency is a fickle ally. On his way to applying a version
of the Lance Armstrong Denial Strategy – play up sympathetic
image to create a martyr’s platform, wear down accusers by
placing them on trial – Landis underestimated the value of a lens
cap….
“(The) credibility of a French lab and dense debate over
chromatography have been rendered footnotes by each salacious
revelation impugning Landis’s character.
“First, never tell this man a secret. In August, Greg LeMond
confided in Landis the pain of hiding his childhood sexual abuse
in an effort to relate the value of coming clean.”
[Landis then told his manager, who told the panel the other day.]
–Here’s a sad one. Former Villanova basketball star Howard
Porter was found severely beaten in a Minneapolis alley. Porter,
now 58, is a probation officer and as of this writing it isn’t
known if the attack was work related.
Porter is one of the greatest college hoops talents I’ve ever seen.
In his career from 1968-71, he averaged 22.8 points and 14.8
rebounds for ‘Nova. Unfortunately, his NBA career was
mediocre at best and he has not had an easy time of it the past 30
years, though he had gotten his life together and was doing a
good job for County Corrections.
–I don’t want to jinx a great trend we’ve seen the past two weeks
but a certain San Francisco Giant is homerless in his last 12
games. Maybe he has a tumor, brought on by all the steroids
he’s ingested, and his eyesight is rapidly deteriorating.
–As a Mets fan, I grow weary of Carlos Delgado and his lame
bat.
–Finally, things are heating up again in “For Better or For
Worse.” It seems clear to yours truly and Jeff B. that the tree
falling on the roof of Dr. and Mrs. P.’s new home was a message
from Jorge Escobar (Pablo’s brother and Dr. P.’s drug
connection). “Pay up, Doc, or the next tree will fall on you and
the missus.” Jeff also says we’re about to find out that Weed has
been sleeping with Deanna, while I have Michael with Becky;
both of which were supposed to have been revealed at Weed’s
“Party of the Century” that turned into such a dud…thanks to
Weed receiving a tip that the Mounties were about to bust it.
But Jeff pointed out that with a hole in the wall of the upstairs
bedroom, Doc P. can easily remodel it to include his safe room,
for both the drugs and his weapons cache. Jeff’s wife Kathy still
believes the tree could have been felled by a distraught April,
who not only doesn’t want to move, but is far from thrilled with
the prospect of living in the basement, as expressed about three
days ago.
I have to admit I initially thought the tree falling onto the house
was the work of beavers.
–Well, “24” is over, thus freeing me up on Monday nights, if any
of you want to invite me to a party or somethin’. [I’ll bring the
beer.] Now some of us aren’t exactly thrilled with the way the
season ended, or for that matter the entire season, but at least
next January, Nadia returns, with a change of clothes, I assume,
though my brother and I are hoping she sticks with the matador
theme. And will Chloe’s coming baby get to man one of the
work stations? [Kids being so computer literate, after all.]
Top 3 songs for the week of 5/25/68: #1 “Tighten Up” (Archie
Bell & The Drells) #2 “Mrs. Robinson” (Simon and Garfunkel)
#3 “A Beautiful Morning” (The Rascals)…and…#4 “The Good,
The Bad And The Ugly” (Hugo Montenegro) #5 “Honey”
(Bobby Goldsboro) #6 “Cowboys To Girls” (The Intruders) #7
“The Unicorn” (The Irish Rovers) #8 “Ain’t Nothing Like The
Real Thing” (Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell) #9 “Shoo-Be-
Doo-Be-Doo-Da-Day” (Stevie Wonder) #10 “Do You Know
The Way To San Jose” (Dionne Warwick)
Indy 500 Quiz Answers: 1) Three to win four: A.J. Foyt (1961,
64, 67, 77); Al Unser (1970, 71, 78, 87); Rick Mears (1979, 84,
88, 91). 2) Rodger Ward won in 1959 and 62. 3) Formula One
winners: Jim Clark, 1965; Graham Hill, 1966. 4) Kenny Brack
won in 1999. 5) Donnie Allison was Rookie of the Year in 1970.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday, May 31. [See above]
