Baseball Quiz: Give me the top five active players in batting
average, career…minimum 3,000 at bats. [Hint: No. 5 is at .317]
Answer below.
Manning up
–For the record…the Mann Act, which prohibits the movement
of prostitutes across state lines or from the U.S. to a foreign
country, a statute that Eliot Spitzer has subjected himself to, it
would appear, is not, repeat, not named after former NFL kicker
Errol Mann (Green Bay, Detroit, Oakland).
–As I go to post, I have yet to see a picture of Eliot’s last girl,
“Kristen”….the “very pretty brunette, 5’5” and 105-lbs.” Mr.
Spitzer paid $4,300 for the session and down payment for the
next as he used only two of his four allotted hours, or the
standard amount of time for a college basketball game. Four
hours, of course, would be the average for an American League
contest, or a crash-happy Coca-Cola 600.
Dana Milbank of the Washington Post also points out that when
it comes to the Mayflower Hotel in Washington, where all the
action took place on Feb. 13-14, Spitzer and Kristen used Room
871, but it was in Room 776 that FDR is said to have written the
line, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself!”
[Update: OK…I”ve now seen Ashley Dupre, aka ”Kristen.” Nice
teeth!]
–Huh. One of the Emperors Club bookers, Temeka Lewis, is a
Univ. of Virginia graduate who hails from Harrisonburg, Va., the
home of Ralph Sampson; though this doesn’t mean the former
hoops great has anything to do with the case.
–David Letterman went on a rant about Eliot Spitzer on Tuesday
and he wasn’t smiling. “How long does that need to last, by the
way? I mean, wouldn’t you – if you were his wife, wouldn’t you
be on the first train out of here. Just ‘adios,’ get the kids, take a
hike.” As the Daily News noted, “The studio audience erupted in
applause when Letterman ripped Spitzer for pondering his future
on the public’s dime.” “Well, I mean how does that benefit us
residents of the Empire State, you know what I’m saying. I
mean, should that really be his decision?”
As Bill Hutchinson writes, “Letterman said he was less offended
by Spitzer having sex with prostitutes than he was with the
governor’s blatant hypocrisy. ‘You know the extreme irony of
this, he used to be the Attorney General and when he ran for
governor, he ran on the platform, ‘You break the law, we will kill
you,’ Letterman said. ‘I mean, can you imagine if this happened
to me, how fast they’d have my ass out of here? We are the
Empire State, and right now, the Empire is being crippled
because this guy got a jones for professional babes.’”
—
–The New York Post’s Kevin Kernan on the Yankees decision
to grant comedian Billy Crystal a one-day contract and insert him
in Thursday’s exhibition game.
“The Yankees and Bud Selig have joined hands here to make a
mockery of the game. Doesn’t Selig have more important things
to do? Yes, baseball is entertainment, but the Yankees don’t
need to be fulfilling Crystal’s baseball fantasy or granting his
birthday wish. Let Crystal play in an Old-Timer’s game if he
needs to put on the uniform.
“You could make the argument that the Yankees have been too
business-like through the years and need to lighten up, but who’s
next? Bruce Springsteen? Britney Spears?….
“Derek Jeter said he is happy to have Crystal as a teammate.
“ ‘Good for him, he’s really excited, and he’s really nervous,’
Jeter said last night….
“Noted Joe Girardi, who promised to make Crystal run and run
and run: ‘Billy Crystal’s done a lot for this organization. It’s
ownership and our way of rewarding him, saying thanks for
everything you’ve done.’
“Isn’t this the kind of stunt the Rays or the Padres usually pull? I
was there the night they handed out the press release that
Roseanne Barr was going to sing the National Anthem. That
didn’t go over so well if you remember Miss Barr’s antics, but
she was Padres owner Tom Werner’s meal ticket and he let her
on the field. But at least he didn’t let her play. Country singer
Garth Brooks has been down this road before, playing in the
spring with the Padres and the Mets and raising money for his
charity.
“ ‘I’ve been waiting 50 years for this call,’ Crystal said in a press
release.
“It seems like Crystal has been hanging around the Yankees that
long, trying to get close to the players. Now he is a player. He
will wear the same uniform as Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Joe
DiMaggio, Lou Gehrig, Jeter and Rodriguez.
“Isn’t this why they created Fantasy Camp?”
I agree with Mr. Kernan. This is a bad joke.
–Goodness gracious….Harry K. passed along a story of an 11’
1” sturgeon that was caught on Lake Erie. As the story had it, it
weighed over 1,000 lbs. and took over six and a half hours, “and
four dozen beers,” for the four guys taking turns at reeling it in.
The fish was released (the law is any sturgeon over five feet has
to be, unharmed), which means it’s still out there! Run for your
lives!!!!
–The poison in the puffer-fish is said to be about 1,000 times
deadlier than cyanide. And did you know that the skin of the
adult golden poison frog, the deadliest of the poison dart frogs,
has enough toxin to kill 100 adult humans? It’s true.
Also, the Brazilian wandering spider’s venom is more potent
than that of the black widow. “Strangely, a side-effect of being
bitten has led scientists to consider adapting the venom as a
natural Viagra.” Huh. [Mark Henderson / London Times]
–But this just in…… “Black mamba bite kills Briton who
dreamt of becoming a game ranger.”
“The body of a young British wildlife enthusiast, who would
have celebrated his 29th birthday today (Wed.), was flown back
to London last night after he was bitten by a deadly black mamba
snake in South Africa.”
The black mamba is the deadliest in Africa and as Jonathan
Clayton of the London Times reports:
“(Nathan) Layton was walking on the grounds of the South
African Wildlife Campus in Hoedspruit with teachers and other
students taking a safari field-guide course organized by the
nature group Bushwise when the attack happened.
“ ‘Bushwise [Ed. I belong to Beerwise] staff acted immediately,
calling an ambulance when Nathan reported symptoms of a
snake bite. Nathan was pronounced dead soon after the
ambulance arrived at the campus,’ the group said in a statement.
‘He died as a result of a lethal bite, given to him by a juvenile
black mamba snake.’”
Freakin’ juvenile delinquent. The black mamba is not only the
second-most venomous snake in the world, it is found in many
parts of South Africa and has been responsible for the death of at
least two game rangers in Kruger in the past ten years.
But get this, the black mamba is also the second-largest
venomous snake, after the king cobra, reaching four meters in
length. And it’s also the fastest snake, at up to 9mph! When
striking prey, the black mamba can raise its head a meter above
the ground. If one bites you, incidentally, you have no more than
20 minutes to get your affairs in order….
“Johnny Mac, you get my Mickey Mantle cards. Trader George,
you get the Ed Kranepool tumbler.”
[Don’t you know those two will be fighting over the tumbler.]
–This sucks…the World Wildlife Fund said there may be only
3,500 tigers left in the world. One of the main threats is the
demand for tiger body parts, per my bit on poaching in general
last time. In India, only about 1,400 remain.
But…if strong conservation measures are enacted (such as in
buying up key land), the population could yet recover a bit.
–Uh oh….not a good time to be a harp seal in Canada.
According to Reuters, “Hunters will be allowed to kill 275,000
young harp seals on the ice floes off eastern Canada this year, the
government said, 5,000 more than last year.” The herd has been
deemed “healthy and abundant” and in no danger of shrinking.
A representative for the International Fund for Animal Welfare
countered, “It’s a national embarrassment. Is killing baby seals
really what Canadians want to be known for?”
And where are the polar bears when you need them, for crying
out loud…or how ‘bout the leopard seals?!
–Haile Gebrselassie, world record holder in the marathon, said
he would not compete in the Beijing Olympics’ marathon race
because of the air quality there, though he will race in the 10,000.
Gebrselassie suffers from asthma and said “The pollution in
China is a threat to my health and it would be difficult for me to
run (the distance) in my current condition.”
–The Houston Rockets are going for a 20th consecutive win on
Wednesday, which would tie the 1970-71 Milwaukee Bucks for
the second-longest streak in NBA history. No. 1 is the 1971-72
Los Angeles Lakers at 33.
–Since Knicks coach Isiah Thomas was granted his contract
extension last season, the team is 22-61.
–ESPN’s list of the Top 25 College Basketball Players of all
time:
1. Lew Alcindor (UCLA)
2. Oscar Robertson (Cincinnati)
3. Bill Walton (UCLA)
4. Bill Russell (San Francisco)
5. Pete Maravich (LSU)
6. Jerry West (West Virginia)
7. Bill Bradley (Princeton)
8. David Thompson (North Carolina State)
9. Larry Bird (Indiana State)
10. Wilt Chamberlain (Kansas)
11. Jerry Lucas (Ohio State)
12. Christian Laettner (Duke)
13. Michael Jordan (North Carolina)
14. Elvin Hayes (Houston)
15. Magic Johnson (Michigan State)
16. Patrick Ewing (Georgetown)
17. Tom Gola (La Salle)
18. Ralph Sampson (Virginia)
19. Elgin Baylor (Seattle)
20. Bob Kurland (Oklahoma A&M…now Okla. State)
21. Tim Duncan (Wake Forest)
22. Austin Carr (Notre Dame)
23. Calvin Murphy (Niagara)
24. David Robinson (Navy)
25. George Mikan (DePaul)
You know, it’s easy to be cynical and criticize lists like this, but
this is really an outstanding one. I love the inclusions of Austin
Carr and Calvin Murphy, for example, and you can’t put Duncan
any higher since Wake didn’t make a Final Four during his years.
Laettner also deserves to be right where he is.
I guess my only minor beef is not having Sampson a little higher.
–Here’s another good list, this one from Newsweek and
Princeton Professor Russell Banks’ ‘five most important books,’
Banks having written the novel about abolitionist John Brown,
“Cloudsplitter.”
1. The Odyssey
2. Don Quixote
3. Tristram Shandy by Laurence Sterne
4. Moby-Dick
5. Huckleberry Finn
[I’d replace No. 3 with “The Best of Calvin and Hobbes.”]
–It’s unbelievable to think Penn State coach Joe Paterno is 81
and still at the helm, this coming season being the final one on
his current contract.
–Top five College Baseball [USA Today / ESPN]
1. Arizona State
2. Arizona
3. North Carolina
4. Florida State
5. Miami
–I forgot to mention that after my Willie Wilson deal the other
night, I took a group out to dinner that included Willie’s former
coaches and we had a little debate about the Baseball Hall of
Fame. The consensus was it remains a crime that Ron Santo
isn’t in.
–In the latest rankings of boys high school basketball teams,
USA Today has St. Anthony of Jersey City, NJ, and St.
Benedict’s Prep of Newark, NJ, as No. 1 and No. 2. No. 11 is St.
Patrick, Elizabeth, NJ. So you’d think with New Jersey having
three of the top eleven high school teams in the country, our
Division I college programs would be pretty good, right?
Wrong. They are dreadful. In fact, none of the eight D-I squads
will make the NCAAs…Rutgers, Seton Hall (barring a miracle),
Princeton, Rider, St. Peter’s, Monmouth, Fairleigh Dickinson,
NJIT.
Of course all of Jersey’s stars tend to go out of state. Similarly,
our residents are fleeing due to outrageous property taxes…but I
digress.
–This says it all…from the AP: “John Daly has been cut loose
by swing coach Butch Harmon, who said yesterday he was not
going to waste his time with a two-time major champion who is
more interested in drinking than working on his golf game.”
“ ‘My whole goal for him was he’s got to show me golf is the
most important thing in his life,’ Harmon said. ‘And the most
important thing in his life is getting drunk.’”
Harmon was particularly upset that during the first round of last
week’s PODS Championship, Daly emerged from a rain delay
with Tampa Bay coach Jon Gruden as his caddy. “Jon Gruden
caddying was ridiculous. I thought he made a circus out of the
whole event.”
[And I just saw that Daly missed Wednesday’s pro-am event at
Arnold Palmer’s tournament, thus making him ineligible for the
tourney itself. This guy needs to go away for a while.]
–I have little to say about my night in Manhattan, at the Waldorf,
as the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony was
taking place on Monday. I’ve heard from regulars that in the old
days the stars came in through the main entrance, folks like Bono
and Springsteen, but now they shuttle them through the garage,
which is more than a bit bogus.
Nonetheless, the people watching is fun and a few lesser lights,
like Jerry Butler, walked through the mini-throng. I was hoping
to see Dave Clark himself, but as I saw the next day when
watching the BBC, I probably wouldn’t have recognized the
man. Anyway, I had some interesting conversations in the bar
and I just read from the New York Post’s account that I
somehow missed a girl, “dressed in a leopard-print silk dress,”
who repeatedly “ran across the second-floor balcony as security
chased her until they caught up to her in the hotel lobby.” That
would have been funny.
Not funny was Madonna, it would appear, who gave a four-page
speech that included a “standing ovation after calling Justin
Timberlake a ‘[bleep]er’ and the audience ‘mother[bleep]ers,’
and admitting to once doing ecstasy with Michael Rosenblatt,
who signed her to Sire Records.” Super.
But let’s look at some of the acts from the 60s and 70s who still
aren’t in the Hall of Fame.
The Association
Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Badfinger
Bad Company
Blood, Sweat and Tears
Jerry Butler
The Carpenters [don’t laugh…12 Top Ten Billboard singles]
The Doobie Brothers
The 5th Dimension
Roberta Flack
Peter Frampton
Gerry and the Pacemakers
The Grass Roots
Grand Funk
The Guess Who
Herman’s Hermits
The Hollies
Tommy James and the Shondells
Tom Jones
K.C. and the Sunshine Band
Kiss
Gary Lewis and the Playboys
The Monkees
The Moody Blues
Paul Revere and the Raiders
Johnny Rivers
Boz Skaggs
Sonny and Cher
The Spinners
The Turtles
War
Dionne Warwick
Barry White
And now…with the admission of the Dave Clark Five, the
biggest omissions are Petula Clark and Tom Jones.
Of course I’m not saying all of the above should be in, but you
can make a good case for half of them. For example, if Gladys
Knight is in, how can Dionne Warwick not be? If the O’Jays are
in, why not the Spinners? The Rascals are in…why not the
Turtles or Guess Who? Gene Pitney is in…how can Johnny
Rivers not be?
And how the hell can Chicago and Blood, Sweat and Tears not
be in?! Or Barry White? I need a beer…and make it a premium.
–In “For Better or For Worse,” Jeff B. and I have concluded that
not only is Anthony a dweeb, but where is he getting the art work
for above his sofa? They don’t even have that stuff at the
Holiday Inn’s “Starving Artists’” sales. Actually, as Jeff said,
the only place you can find this trash is at the Getty station, next
to the dozen roses for $11.95.
–HBO’s seven-part miniseries “John Adams” starts on Sunday.
All reviews I have read say it’s terrific. Of course I’d watch it
anyway if the reviews were poor.
Top 3 songs for the week of 3/14/64: #1 “I Want To Hold Your
Hand” (The Beatles) #2 “She Loves You” (The Beatles) #3
“Please Please Me” (The Beatles)…and…#4 “Dawn” (The Four
Seasons) #5 “Java” (Al Hirt) #6 “Navy Blue” (Diane Renay)
#7 “Fun, Fun, Fun” (The Beach Boys) #8 “California Sun” (The
Rivieras) #9 “See The Funny Little Clown” (Bobby Goldsboro)
#10 “I Love You More And More Every Day” (Al Martino)
Baseball Quiz Answer: Top five active in hitting…
1. Ichiro, .334
2. Todd Helton, .332 [edges Pujols out]
3. Albert Pujols, .332
4. Vladimir Guerrero, .325
5. Derek Jeter, .317
But as Johnny Mac likes to point out, when it comes to splits,
home vs. away, there is none worse than Helton.
So let’s look at the four who have played their entire careers with
one team, shall we?
Ichiro .332 H, .335 A
Pujols .330 H, .333 A
Jeter .323 H, .311 A
Then Helton. .367 H, .295 A…embarrassing.
Next Bar Chat, Monday.
