NFL Draft Quiz: Looking at the first quarterbacks chosen since
1998, name the only three to have thrown for at least ten
touchdown passes their rookie season. [Hint: Here are the
initials of the ten I’m talking about, in no particular order. J.R.,
C.P., E.M., T.C., C.P., M.V., D.C., A.S., V.Y., P.M.] Answer
below.
SHARK!!!!!
Yup, the server at StocksandNews crashed as word hit that 66-
year-old triathlete, David Martin, was lifted out of the water by a
great white shark, which had Martin’s legs in its jaws, before
spitting him out, leaving deep lacerations and shredding Martin’s
black wetsuit….in other words Martin had looked like a tasty
seal.
The attack occurred off Solana Beach and was the first shark
fatality in San Diego County since 1994, or so the department of
tourism would have us believe. Many of your comments as you
passed along the tragic news (though good for Bar Chat’s
ratings) were breathless, including Brad K.’s admonition that it is
now clear the use of SPF #15 or higher is mandatory if we are to
avoid further accidents. Bob S., director of shark attacks for the
West Coast, though he works in the East, was needlessly
concerned he hadn’t been first in reporting the news. I told him
it was understandable, he having gone out for some coffee when
the attack occurred at 7:20 a.m. West Coast time. How was he to
know?
As for the attack itself, there were ten other swimmers near
Martin when they observed his nauseating end. They all heard
his yell and came to his aid, only to see he was being attacked by
a shark, so they turned tail and swam for shore, where they
alerted lifeguards, who said, “I ain’t goin’ in there!” But they
immediately closed the beach.
Investigators, still searching for the shark as I go to post, believe
it is anywhere from 12- to 17-feet in length, a mammoth beast.
As for previous attacks in the San Diego area, it was back on
April 14, 1994, that 25-year-old Michelle Von Emster, skinny
dipping, was swallowed at midthigh, with one leg severed when
she was discovered the following day.
And we take you back to June 2004 as Kelly French of Laguna
Beach was paddling among dolphins near San Onofre when
“From the deep, a 9-foot white shark surfaced about 20 yards
away. French swung his legs up and clung to his board as the
fish charged him. ‘I was in shock that I was seeing that large a
shark in my favorite surfing spot,’ he said.” [Deborah Sullivan
Brennan / L.A. Times]
“The shark thrashed the board for about 20 seconds before diving
beneath the surface. Seizing the reprieve, French says he
bodysurfed to safety.”
One reason for an increase in shark attacks in the waters off both
Oregon and California over the past 50 years has been a huge
increase in the number of smelly, disgusting, overrated seals.
Back to Martin, one expert, Richard Rosenblatt of the Scripps
Institute, said the attack was unusual because it took place over a
sandy bottom and great whites normally attack over rocks, which
provides better camouflage. Something to think about yourself.
Best to swim in your community pool, or at a neighbor’s that you
know well.
Meanwhile, the International Shark Attack File out of the
University of Florida said there was only one fatal attack in the
world last year. Well, we’ve long since discredited this
organization, haven’t we? It’s more like 7,982, by my count.
—
Elephants Gone Wild, Part XIX
“At least three people were trampled to death by an elephant and
several injured when an intoxicated man touched its tusk on
Wednesday during a Hindu festival in southern India, police said.
“The male elephant went berserk in a town in Kerala state and
destroyed a temple’s theatre and tower as hundreds of people ran
in fear.
“ ‘The elephant was provoked by a man who was drunk,’ P.S.
Suresh said on Thursday.
“Indian television channels showed pictures of the elephant
repeatedly trampling the man, hurling another with its trunk and
attacking other elephants.” [Reuters]
The elephant was tranquilized and then sent off to anger
management class.
At least 49 people have been killed by elephants in southern
India since August 2006, according to the Kerala Elephant
Lovers Association. But you know, just as in the case of the
Univ. of Florida, that this figure is woefully short. It’s more like
89,000.
—
Say It Ain’t Say So, Cho…err, Joe
It is with great sadness I note the passing of the great “Cho”
Feeney, otherwise known as Joe Feeney for his days singing on
the Lawrence Welk Show, though Mr. Welk had a problem
pronouncing the name and it came out “Cho.”
I forgot to break this news to my parents, who still watch the
Lawrence Welk Show faithfully on a local PBS station. I may
hold off on this, seeing as they are 80 and all.
Most of you just won’t understand how when I was growing up,
until I was about 12, I was forced to watch Lawrence Welk with
my parents on our only television. Actually, it wasn’t all bad as
my brother and I were in love with the Lennon Sisters, who were
hot, hot, hot. [I liked Kathy.]
As for Feeney, the Irish tenor born in Grand Island, Nebraska, he
was a classic. What a voice. And Ken S., I didn’t realize he was
a University of Nebraska grad. In fact, he was a starting
quarterback! Well I’ll be damned.
After then serving in Korea, Feeney worked at an Omaha radio
station where the manager sent a recording of Feeney’s voice to
Welk. The rest is history.
But I do have to note the cause of his death was emphysema,
though Feeney never smoked. His family believes he contracted
it playing in smoky casinos and nightclubs.
Stuff
–Roger Clemens has confirmed a long-term relationship, said to
be at least 10 years, with former country star Mindy McCready
(who is attempting to make a comeback). According to the New
York Daily News, it may have started when McCready was all of
15. This, friends, is the definition of a dirtball.
–We congratulate our own Dr. Bortrum for his sterling 32 on the
local par-3 course. Having played it myself many a time,
particularly in my youth, this isn’t bad for the 80-year-old doctor
of physical chemistry as it is a challenging track.
–Then again, Bortrum didn’t quite attain the achievement Ted
Kemp did this weekend. Kemp, a 12-handicapper, knocked in
back-to-back hole in ones on par 3s at the Muscatine Municipal
Golf Course in Iowa. He used a pitching wedge on the 3rd hole
from 130 yards out and an 8-iron from 182 yards (big hitter!) on
the 8th hole. Overall, Kemp shot a 78.
–Note to fellow Wake Forest alum Josh Howard, he of the
Dallas Mavericks. Don’t start telling the world you smoke pot in
the off-season. Appearing on ESPN radio on Friday, Howard
said “I think that everybody in the media world and in the sports
world knows that NBA players do smoke marijuana.” Howard,
in explaining his remarks in an earlier Dallas Morning News
interview where he admitted his use, said “I just let (the reporter)
know that most of the players in the league use marijuana and I
have and do partake in smoking weed in the offseason
sometimes.” Howard went on to say pot is “nothing I’m
needing,” contrasting that to some players who he says “have to
have it.” I imagine there are more than a few fellow players not
too pleased with Josh about now.
–Good for North Carolina’s Tyler Hansbrough for opting to
complete his senior year. Should he be able to carry the Tar
Heels to the national title that eluded him this year, he’d go down
in history as one of the top five college players of all time. As it
is, his scoring and rebounding totals are going to be way up on
the lifetime lists should he have a year like this past one, 22.6
and 10.2.
“I love my collegiate experience and want to finish my four years
here, then move on to my next dream of playing in the N.B.A.,”
he said in a statement.
Tyler’s a class act, that’s for sure.
But he could use his sophomore teammates Ty Lawson and
Wayne Ellington, both of whom declared for the draft but didn’t
hire agents, thus leaving open the possibility they could return if
they realize they won’t go in the first round. I can’t imagine
Ellington would. He’ll be playing for Carolina next year and
then would be a surefire first-rounder in 2009.
–Johnny Mac and I were exchanging notes on some of the early
season outstanding pitching performances, such as Cleveland’s
Cliff Lee. Boy, I’m sorry, but I didn’t have a clue about this guy
following an off season for him in ’07. He is not only 4-0 with a
0.28 ERA, but he has also fanned 29 in 31 innings while giving
up two walks and just 11 hits! Meanwhile, the Giants’ Tim
Lincecum is 4-0 with a 1.23 ERA and 36 Ks in 29 innings. And
Arizona’s Brandon Webb is now 6-0. Goodness gracious.
–Chipper Jones is 18 for 36 on his birthday.
–Jack Curry has a piece in the Sunday Times concerning the
Hall of Fame credentials of White Sox slugger Jim Thome, who
now has 513 home runs. Thus far, Mark McGwire is the only
player with at least 500 not to make the Hall but will Thome get
in? Thome has led the league in homers just once and never
finished in the top three in the MVP voting, plus he still doesn’t
have 2,000 hits. But it would appear he’ll end up somewhere
around 575 and I think he gets in on the 2nd or 3rd try since, to
date, he has yet to be linked to any steroids investigations.
–The story is the latest James Bond film is jinxed, this after the
destruction of 007’s Aston Martin and two accidents involving
stuntmen. Production has been temporarily suspended.
Last Saturday, you’ll recall Jonathan Dunn Fraser, an employee
of Aston Martin, was delivering the DBS sports car to the film
set when he inexplicably lost control of the car along a winding
lakeside road and smashed through a guardrail into the lake. He
turned out to be okay. The car was not as fortunate.
On Monday, a stuntman was injured during filming of a chase
scene.
Then on Wednesday, two stuntmen were badly injured during
filming of a chase scene involving a lorry and a car. The driver
of the car is in critical condition. All of this took place at or near
the location of Lake Garda, in northern Italy.
That’s not all. As Paul Bompard of the London Times reported,
a week earlier a man on a bicycle who had stopped by the set to
watch filming suddenly suffered a heart attack and died.
For his part, Dunn Fraser was incredibly lucky. The Aston
Martin plunged into a lake with a depth of 170 feet and the next
thing he knew he woke up and was upside down on the bottom of
it. Somehow he kicked a door open and swam to the surface.
“I was shaken but not stirred,” he told the media afterwards. “I
thought my lungs would burst before I reached the surface.”
The Aston Martin sold for $265,000 and was one of six being
used, in case you were wondering why ticket prices are as high
as they are.
–FHM magazine listed its 100 Sexiest Women and Megan Fox
(her real name is Madge Plumbobski) took the No. 1 slot,
ostensibly because of her performance in “Transformers,” which
I didn’t see but the piece I’m reading says is the reason so it must
be so. Following Megan are…
2. Jessica Biel
3. Jessica Alba
4. Elisha Cuthbert
5. Scarlet Johansson
6. Emmanuelle Chriqui…no relation to broadcaster Don Criqui
7. Hilary Duff…of the Duff Beer family
8. Tricia Helfer
9. Blake “Lookin’” Lively
10. Kate Beckinsale
Seeing as I couldn’t tell you who 3 or 4 of the above are…I
thought I’d give you Nos. 11 thru 20.
11. Peggy Fleming
12. Sophia Loren
13. Jill St. John
14. Senta Berger
15. Bo Derek
16. Susan George
17. Claudia Cardinale
18. Elsa Martinelli
19. Ann Margret
20. Suzanne Pleshette…………………………………………….
………………………………………………………….I was just
informed by the FHM people that I can’t screw around with their
list. Nos. 11 thru 20 are my picks, not theirs, and, yes, they
aren’t all still alive, sadly. If you want theirs, check the Web.
–Police in Congo arrested 13 suspected sorcerers who were
accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises,
causing an understandable wave of panic. [Reuters] I think I’ll
pass on traveling here for a while.
–Soaring fuel costs threaten to do a number on the most loyal of
NASCAR fans who often travel the circuit in their Winnebagos
and other gas guzzling vehicles.
–Actor Wesley Snipes’ name has been thrown in the December
file for “Dirtball of the Year” for income tax evasion, having just
been sentenced to the max of 36 months in prison. Snipes’
apology was lame and didn’t impress the judge who opted to use
him as an example. Actually, Snipes is eligible for “Jerk of the
Year” as well.
–An American Hockey League first-round playoff game
between the Philadelphia Phantoms and the Albany River Rats
went five overtimes, 142 minutes, 58 seconds to be exact, before
Philly won 3-2. The Phantoms took 101 shots on goal. I didn’t
see what Albany had but obviously the two goalies were rather
outstanding.
–So I just picked up my first hybrid golf club, a PING G10, and
I can’t believe it took me this long to do so. A piece in
GolfWorld addresses the proliferation of hybrids on the PGA
Tour. As E. Michael Johnson writes, there were 96 hybrids in
play at the Verizon Heritage (it was a handful just a few years
ago), though PGA players use them as pseudo fairway woods,
whereas Senior Tour golfers use them more as iron substitutes.
[Senior champ Allen Doyle has four in his bag.]
–This year at the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines, the weekend rounds
are slated to end at 7 p.m. West Coast time, thus allowing the
broadcast to be run in prime time in much of the country, a neat
change. U.K. and European golf writers, though, are upset
because they will miss the Monday morning deadlines for their
papers.
–Speaking of the U.S. Open, Tiger Woods maintains he’ll be
ready in time to go for his 14th major following his knee surgery.
You can’t help but be concerned about his future, though. I’m
not talking about today, but how much golf will he be playing
when he gets into his 40s? And you can just hear the talk if he
fails to win one of the remaining three majors this year. He still
has to capture six to beat Nicklaus, after all, and there are some
great golfers out there like Phil Mickelson who’ve had trouble
winning their fourth.
–Nice win by Adam Scott at the Byron Nelson this week. A
gutty performance. Girls, he’s single and cute. Go for it….then
drop us a line.
–According to a nationwide fan-satisfaction poll in ESPN The
Magazine, the Knicks came in dead last out of 122 teams in the
NBA, NFL, NHL and MLB. The Indianapolis Colts scored No.
1 in satisfying fans.
Of the nine local teams in the New York area, the Devils are tops
at No. 40. The Yankees were just 65th. And my Mets were a
well-deserved No. 93. [The J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets were No. 105.]
But this is surprising, the Red Sox were 89th. [Cynthia Fagen /
New York Post]
–Duke basketball assistant Johnny Dawkins, who has been on
Coach K.’s staff since 1997, was hired by Stanford.
–Memphis coach John Calipari signed a contract extension
through 2012-2013 that not only includes an annual raise of
$500,000 to $2.35 million, but also a clause wherein he receives
an extra $5 million if he fulfills the whole contract. This is
absurd.
–Equally absurd is the situation between Tennessee and UConn
over the UConn women’s basketball program. Tennessee filed
30 pages of documents with the Southeastern Conference in 2006
complaining of UConn’s recruiting practices, it has just come to
light. We could be talking a riot next time these two hook up,
which actually might be a pleasant diversion.
–And now your local sports tidbits. At the 114th Penn Relays
this weekend, a freshman from Morristown High School of New
Jersey, Nick Vena, was chosen as the High School Boys’ Athlete
of the Meet, the first freshman to ever win the award. Vena is a
record-setting shot putter and he holds the national freshman
mark. He’s obviously a lock for the 2012 Olympics, though I
haven’t heard if he’ll be invited to this year’s track and field
trials in two months. [You just don’t know how pumped I am to
be attending this year’s version in Eugene, Oregon. I’ve even
started running again.]
–From Dean Nelson in the London Times:
“British tourists are paying more than $200 to watch endangered
Asian lions kill tethered cattle at an Indian wildlife reserve.
“According to local officials, some visitors eat lunch at dining
tables as they watch cows and buffalo being devoured.”
And so for this behavior, humans drop another five notches on
the all-species list.
–Technicians in New Zealand began to thaw a colossal giant
squid in preparation for an examination by scientists on
Wednesday, which is to be available on the Internet, but they
started thawing it too early. The problem with squids is they rot
quickly.
But just how big is this one? It was caught February 2007 in
Antarctic waters and is 33-feet in length. Since 1925, only a few
such colossal squids (colossal as opposed to mere ‘giant’) have
been sighted, all in the seas around Antarctica.
As noted in a BBC News report, “Very little is known about how
and where they live. The one certainty is that they are fearsome
opponents, with big beaks and unique swelling hooks on the
club-like ends of their tentacles.”
But get this. The specimen on ice is believed to be male and
females are bigger.
Once thawed and examined, the squid will be embalmed and
preserved, rather than chopped up and served at Red Lobster as
part of an all-you-can-eat fake lobster special.
–Canadian officials say the polar bear is under threat, but not
with extinction. There are approximately 15,000 left and the
government is looking at developing a plan to protect them.
Frankly, I’d like to see some aerial photographs showing that the
15,000 are forming up, like in a kind of Roman Legion. You
know, 1,000 in each square, shields raised….marching south.
Something to get the juices flowing.
–I’m soooooo confused! I thought Jennifer Aniston and Orlando
Bloom were a hot item. Now I see Jennifer’s going after John
Mayer. Don’t do it, Jen! Mayer’s an a-hole. Spies said “They
looked happy.” Well I’m not.
–I was going to note the passing of a certain N.B.A. referee, but
then I thought…No, don’t do it! Referees, umpires, officials
aren’t supposed to be the story. Only the players should be. So,
no, I won’t mention the death of Darrell Garretson on principle.
–I haven’t commented on “For Better or For Worse” in quite a
while because it has been so pitiful, but the other day April and
her friends were talking about what they’ll do after high school
and college and the black guy (sorry, can’t remember his name)
goes, “Ummm…I’m sort of interested in business stuff. I’m also
into sports…an’ travel an’ communications.” So April goes,
“You could open a travel agency.” Oh yeah, that’s a brilliant
idea, kid. Like there might be two travel agencies left in the
entire country in this Priceline.com / Hotels.com era. Idiot. [I’m
also not looking forward to seeing April and Gerard shack up.
We just don’t need this in the comics.]
–New York Daily News columnist Jim Farber gives the new
Madonna album, “Hard Candy,” out Tuesday, a rave review. “It
may be the best album of Madonna’s career.” Madonna pulled
in some heavy hitters for help such as Justin Timberlake,
Timbaland, and Pharrell. But she didn’t use Leo Sayer or Kenny
Nolan.
Also, Farber notes that the first single that was released, “4
Minutes,” is probably the worst tune on the album.
So, sports fans, your editor is going to actually purchase his first
Madonna album this week.
–Uh oh…Miley Cyrus is in bigggggggg trouble. It seems she
appears topless and wrapped in what appears to be a satin sheet
in the June issue of Vanity Fair. Miley is only 15, and while I
wouldn’t know this personally, is obviously something of a role
model for our nation’s little girls. Ms. Cyrus apologized in a
statement on Sunday. “I feel so embarrassed. I never intended
for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care
so deeply about.” Whatever.
–Rolling Stone is giving an upcoming Al Green album, “Lay It
Down,” rave notices. Green has teamed up with Roots members
“?uestlove” Thompson and bassist Adam Blackstone on the
project. It’s slated for release May 27.
–George Strait tops the Billboard album chart with his latest
release, “Troubadour,” the fourth Number One disc for him.
Strait has also now had a Billboard Top 200 every year since
1984. Not too shabby.
Top 3 songs for the week 4/30/77: #1 “Southern Nights” (Glen
Campbell) #2 “Hotel California” (Eagles) #3 “Don’t Leave Me
This Way” (Thelma Houston)…and…#4 “When I Need You”
(Leo Sayer) #5 “I’ve Got Love On My Mind” (Natalie Cole) #6
“Don’t Give Up On Us” (David Soul) #7 “So In To You”
(Atlanta Rhythm Section) #8 “Right Time Of The Night”
(Jennifer Warnes) #9 “Sir Duke” (Stevie Wonder) #10 “Tryin’
To Love Two” (William Bell)
NFL Draft Quiz: The only three of the first quarterbacks selected
in the draft since 1998 to have then throw for ten touchdown
passes in their rookie season are…Peyton Manning, 1998, 26
TD, 28 INT; Tim Couch (Cleveland), 1999, 15 TD, 13 INT;
Vince Young (Tennessee), 12 TD, 13 INT.
The others were Chad Pennington (Jets), 2000, 1 TD 0 INT;
Michael Vick (Atlanta), 2001, 2-3; David Carr (Houston), 2002,
9-15; Carson Palmer (Cincinnati), 2003, DNP (knee injury); Eli
Manning (Giants, via San Diego), 2004, 6-9; Alex Smith (San
Francisco), 2005, 1-11; JaMarcus Russell (Oakland), 2007, 2-4.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday…from Washington, D.C. A magical
history tour.
