[From Washington, D.C., Wednesday]
Triple Crown Quiz: How many of the eleven winners can you
name? [You need six to be eligible for premium beer.] Answer
below.
SHARK!!!!……again….
As Jimmy Stewart said in the movie “Shenandoah,” “Ah, ah, ah,
now it concerns us.”
Yet another fatal shark attack, this one involving a 24-year-old
American surfer in the waters off Ixtapa, Mexico. A gray shark
ripped the poor guy “from hip to knee, exposing the femur.”
Dan L., who has been first with the most recent attack news, Dan
being East Coast director of shark operations for Bar Chat,
though he, like Bob S., West Coast director, both work in the
financial services industry out east, notes of course that the last
time we had such a surge was before 9/11, which is simply a fact.
Bob S. adds that of course the folks in Gainesville, Fla., at the
International Shark Attack File will probably say down the road
that there was only one fatality in 2008, even though we can
document hundreds (if you count Vanuatu…really…go ask the
natives there).
But back to last week’s San Diego area victim, David Martin, his
son, Jeff, said he vowed to go surfing with his boys the way his
father would have wanted it.
Hey, Jeff, that’s what an athlete says when he plays the day after
he buries his mother or father because the parent would indeed
want their boy’s life to go on. But to then say your dad would
want you to take the boys out in the water is beyond absurd.
He’s trying to communicate with you…listen… “Kid, they
haven’t caught the Great White that killed me yet, so get a hold
of yourself!!! Stay out of the freakin’ water and keep my
grandchildren out of your idiotic scheme!”
Channeling the dead…another free feature of Bar Chat.
—
Washington Adventure
I’ve been to our nation’s capital a bunch of times, but not since
2004 and there are always a few museums and sites I haven’t
gotten to and I can already see I won’t make it to a few more this
time either. So just a little synopsis of what I’ve been doing the
past few days.
I arrived late Monday, my flight having been delayed by some
awful weather, including the tornadoes in Virginia.
Then on Tuesday, after getting off to a late start due to other site-
related work, I walked to the Museum of Natural History just to
return to a few exhibits I was sketchy on. I really wanted to see
what animals they had there that Teddy Roosevelt killed on his
1909 safari and the white rhino in the Hall of Mammals is indeed
his. I only spent a few minutes here, but enough time to realize
that the black-backed jackal is a highly underrated killing
machine.
Next I walked across to the dinosaur exhibit. Normally I’m not
real turned on by a bunch of bones, but they really do a terrific
job here and you talk about underrated, the alosaurus and
triceratops fit the bill perfectly. The question is asked, who
would win a fight between the triceratops and T. Rex? It’s a
toss-up, friends.
I also decided the U.S. was a much more exciting place with a
bunch of dinosaurs roaming around than it is today. Then again,
65 million years ago you didn’t have flat-screen televisions, nor
premium beer, so you have to weigh the plusses and minuses.
By the way, guess where the first unearthed dinosaur was found
in America? New Jersey! Yup, 1858…..Sen. Frank Lautenberg.
Next, it was on to the Spy Museum, which is relatively new and
worth the $18 admission charge. Just a lot of cool stuff to view,
especially the early listening devices. They also have some good
interactive exhibits to test your skills on picking out suspicious
activity, for example. Bring the kids to this one. They’ll thank
you for it at dinner that evening as you chow down on street
vendor hot dogs, a necessity as the parents try and save money
for the gasoline required for the trip home.
Then it was on to the American Museum of Art and Portrait
Gallery. I’ve been to D.C. three previous times since 2000 and I
can’t believe I missed this one. When I’ve gone to an art gallery,
it’s been the National Gallery or the excellent Phillips Museum.
Anyway, the American Museum is absolutely outstanding. Great
landscapes (my personal favorite), such as from the likes of
Albert Bierstadt, including his most famous work, which he actually
painted in Rome and then showed in Berlin and London before finally
showcasing it here.
The portrait area of the presidents is also terrific. For those of
you who watched the HBO series “John Adams,” you get to see
the original of the Gilbert Stuart portrait that is featured in the
show. This particular gallery also has a little sitting area where
famous snippets from the presidents’ key speeches are shown,
such as JFK’s inaugural address. Great stuff.
And then there was an exhibit on Abraham Lincoln’s final days,
including his second inaugural.
It turns out that on March 6, 1865, following his inaugural
address, Abe and Mary Todd Lincoln prepared to party down. In
fact at the reception held in the very building where the
American Museum of Art is now housed, 4,000 to 6,000
attended, with the Lincolns not showing up until 10:30 in the
evening and not leaving until 1:30 a.m. As an old friend of mine,
Tony D., might have said, “Abe, you show me everything!”
An extensive buffet was served at midnight and this, however,
turned into a bit of a disaster. Picture thousands mobbing the one
long table, about 125 feet in length. As an article in the New
York Times described the next day, the scene was “particularly
frightful to behold” as all manner of food (including lobster
salad, pre-Red Lobster, it goes without saying) found the floor.
Alas, about five weeks later Lincoln was assassinated. I had
forgotten that his final train ride home, 1,700 miles to
Springfield, Illinois, took 12 days and it’s estimated a staggering
30 million either attended the 11 services held along the way or
at least caught a glimpse of the funeral train.
OK, back to me, it’s still Tuesday and I decide to go to the
Washington Nationals’ new ballpark for their game against the
Braves. I wasn’t planning on going, the weather was cold, but
then I thought ‘what the heck’ and hopped in a cab. [You can
take the metro, but this is one time when I don’t mind spending
$15 for a little more comfort.] Thanks to it being rush hour (I
left my hotel around 6:00 for the 7:00 start), the cab took about
20 minutes. That’s it. [From near the White House, if you’re
planning such an excursion.]
I purchased a $35 ticket, even though there were far cheaper
alternatives, because I wanted to sit in the outfield, yet be close
to the action and my seat was just three rows back in leftfield.
But, geezuz, it was cold. Temps were in the 40s and the wind
was blowing. There was a t-shirt giveaway and I wrapped mine
around my neck, so it came in handy.
For dinner I had a pulled pork sandwich ($10.50) and an Italian
sausage ($7.00), both of which were adequate (make sure to
douse the pulled pork with ample dollops of hot sauce), and then
I washed it down with two bottles of Bud Light ($7.50). All in
all, everything is expensive these days so I can’t be too outraged
over the prices here compared to elsewhere.
I went to the game not even knowing that Tom Glavine was
pitching for Atlanta. Yes, that Tom Glavine, he of the 8-run first
inning in the Mets last game last fall that clinched the all-time
collapse. But I was surrounded by Washington fans who didn’t
care, or Braves fans who love Tommy, so I didn’t even bother
booing. I just told the two guys next to me that I was a Mets fan,
tried to explain that I had a poison blowgun but was too far away
to hit Glavine, and decided they would have turned me in had I
done so, so what was the use in dragging them down by
complaining all night.
Actually, I got so cold that I left a 2-2 game after six innings.
The advantage here was that within two minutes I had a cab and
the ride home at 9:00 was just ten minutes. Not bad, not bad at
all. In fact I plopped myself on a stool at the hotel bar and
watched the Hornets and Chris Paul hold off the Mavs and then
caught Tim Duncan. A Wake Forest doubleheader.
Notice how I didn’t even mention my impression of the
Nationals’ new park. Recently, the Mets were in town and their
announcers kind of panned the place. Let’s just say I was
underwhelmed, too. There is simply nothing spectacular about
it, though I admit I didn’t walk all the way around. Clearly, the
best part is walking in from the centerfield direction, which is
where most do, as you are at ground level and the field is then
below. It is a nice, grand concourse, like all the new parks have,
and in good weather would be a pleasant place for a few
brewskies. I don’t know if I’d pay top dollar for a ticket again
when you can have a decent time just watching the action from
behind center. Granted, the players look rather small, but you’re
at the ballpark ……………….and that’s a memo.
[Note to Mets fans. The Nationals’ fans haven’t taken to
Lastings Milledge in the least; as in there is zero reaction to his
name.]
Well, that was Tuesday. Today I thought I’d get off to an early
start and make sure I was in line for the National Archives before
it opened at 10:00 and when I arrived at 9:45, the line was
already around the block (or close to it), with busloads of
students. Bummer. I still haven’t been here since I was a kid,
but decided next trip I’ll just go late in the day, when there would
definitely be fewer kids to deal with.
So, plan B was to go to the Museum of the American Indian,
which I went to when it first opened a number of years ago. I
wanted to see if it had improved much. It hasn’t, and I will never
go back. There isn’t one mention of any battles, for crying out
loud! Nor, any mention of the atrocities the Indians themselves
were responsible for; not that I really thought they’d admit this.
It’s kind of funny that in Wednesday’s USA Today, there was a
story titled “Pressure mounts to drop ‘squaw’ from place names.”
“American Indians consider ‘squaw’ a derogatory term for
women,” said an official for the National Congress of American
Indians. For example, Squaw Peak, a hiking spot outside
Phoenix, has been renamed Piestewa Peak, to honor Lori
Piestewa, a Hopi-Hispanic soldier from Arizona who was killed
in Iraq in 2003. That makes perfect sense.
Or as Valerie Fast Horse, a council member with the Coeur
d’Alene Tribe of Idaho, Montana and Washington, says the usual
translation of “squaw” is a profane term for female genitalia. It’s
so offensive in her tribe, she adds, that members refer to it as
“the ‘S’ word.”
But then you have some Montana county commissioners who
offer, “When these things were named a hundred years ago, they
didn’t mean to offend anybody….And it’s a waste of time.”
Speaking of the meaning of squaw, I’d like to ask Valerie Fast
Horse just how we are to interpret her own name? A little filly,
perhaps?
Or what to make of the name, Cecelia Fire Thunder? Sounds
pretty provocative, doesn’t it? Like a dancer at Cheetah’s in
Atlanta. “Guys, give it up for Cecelia Fire Thunnnnderrrrrrrr.
……..and don’t forget to tip the waitresses, they work hard.”
Anyway, Cecelia does say in one exhibit, “All the animals of the
universe have spirit and power.” No doubt, kid. Just check out
the shark attacks.
Lsatly, I was upset there was no Chief Wahoo exhibit.
OK, back on the trail. I walked past the Air & Space Museum,
but didn’t go in because I was there last visit, though I read this
marker outside about Mars. Did you know that on its equator
during the summertime the average daytime temperature reaches
60 degrees F.? Pretty normal, huh?
Ah, but then at night it drops to minus-130 F. Now that would
create a problem, as in I can picture mothers all over going,
“Make sure you dress warm enough for the game, kids. And
take a hat.” “But Mom, it’s 60 degrees out right now! You’re
crazy.” Four hours later, 35,000 would have frozen to death.
Finally, on the way back to my hotel I stopped by the National
Aquarium. I have to tell you, I forgot there even was one here.
But it’s housed in the Commerce Dept. building so that ought to
give you a clue it’s not exactly on par with Baltimore’s world
famous site. No sirree, I was literally in here all of five minutes,
but I did learn that those cute little seahorses aren’t so cute after
all. They kill 3,600 baby brine a day. That’s the last time I say
anything good about them.
And did you know that the Mississippi River ecosystem supports
50 mammals and 241 different fish species? Let’s see…the river
rat, river dog, river cat, muskrat, river squirrel, otter….can’t
come up with any others, aside from the beaver, who you all
know tops the all-species list for being smart enough to avoid the
subprime crisis. You don’t see S&P or Moody’s downgrading
any beaver-related mortgage securities now, do you?
That’s it for today. Thursday, it’s far more serious stuff as I head
over to Arlington National Cemetery. That’s “Week in Review”
material, I already know.
Stuff
–Oscar-winning documentarian Errol Morris gives his five most
important movies for Newsweek and lists “Make Way for
Tomorrow” (“The most depressing movie ever made, providing
reassurance that everything will definitely end badly”), “Billy
Madison” (“The stupidest movie ever made, but I love it”), “Dr.
Strangelove” (“The most relevant movie ever made because it’s
turning out to be a documentary”), “The Life and Death of
Colonel Blimp” (“The most romantic movie ever made”), and,
the reason why I’m mentioning Mr. Morris’ picks, “The Good,
the Bad and the Ugly.”
Morris selects this last one for the very reason why I’ve always
felt it was underrated.
“The most powerful antiwar movie ever made.”
Huh, you might ask? I’ve always felt the extended Civil War
scene in this flick is as good as it comes and now I can say I’m
not alone in this judgment. But Errol Morris points out
something I didn’t know.
“Eli Wallach didn’t know he was cast as ‘the ugly’ until the
premiere.” Pretty funny stuff.
–And pretty incredible that San Francisco pitcher Barry Zito, he
of the 7-year, $126 million contract, has been relegated to the
bullpen after an 0-6 start and a 7.53 ERA. Thank god the Mets
didn’t fall for him. They were prepared to give Zito a 5- or 6-
year deal, but he insisted on seven and the Mets said no. These
kinds of long-term, expensive deals for pitchers virtually never
pan out.
–With A-Rod on the DL, even if it is just for 15 days, it’s pretty
apparent you won’t see monster numbers out of him this season.
–Cher tells Oprah she was shacking up with Tom Cruise when
he was 23 and she was 39……..fair enough.
–Johnny Mac was the first to break the great news that our Jets
had signed Danny Woodhead, the running back out of Chadron
State, Neb., that I’ve written of over the years, Woodhead being
the NCAA’s all-time leading rusher with 7,962 yards. He’s only
5’ 7 ½” but he’s evidently super strong at 200 lbs. This could be
a lot of fun if he makes the squad. I guarantee he’ll be an instant
fan favorite. There’s also a chance I might be driving thru
Chadron State this coming fall and unlike the last time two years
ago, I’ll remember to pick up a t-shirt.
–Notre Dame tried to hold up Rutgers for a future six-game
series on the gridiron and Rutgers told the Fighting Irish to go
take a hike, a position which is getting Rutgers renewed support
this week.
You see, Notre Dame, which as the New York Times’ Harvey
Araton put it, has subsisted on “Rudy” reruns for years as its
program sucks wind, wanted Rutgers to move the three home
games it would have to the Meadowlands rather than the campus
stadium that will eventually seat 55,000 because Notre Dame
wanted half the stadium to be packed with alumni.
So Rutgers said, “Why don’t you take your idea and stick it up
your……………” Actually, Bar Chat’s lone tape recorder
stopped working at this point so we’re not really sure what
Rutgers said. But we applaud the outcome.
–Former country star Mindy McCready confirmed the New
York Daily News’ reporting that she had had a relationship with
Roger Clemens. This all came about as part of Clemens’ idiotic
defamation suit against trainer Roger McNamee and now
McNamee’s lawyers say there are more allegations to come,
thanks to Clemens’ “sanctimonious testimony before Congress.”
It’s all relevant, and the Daily News is lining up the women.
Maybe the Hall of Fame should put up a plaque for Roger
regardless of whether or not he is voted in and just have one
word on it……… “Dirtball.”
“Daddy, why does Roger Clemens’ plaque only say ‘dirtball’?”
“Well, Bobby, let’s go find a bench. This is going to take a long,
long time to explain.”
–TV alert. I heard a local radio broadcaster interview a bunch of
NYU students as part of the Tribeca Film Festival and it turns
out the kids produced a documentary on manager Bobby
Valentine. It sounds great, as Valentine gave them full
permission to follow him for a year in Japan, where he is treated
like a god. I think it’s on ESPN-2 on May 13. “The Zen of
Bobby Valentine,” I believe.
–Good god. Anchorage, Alaska, had 30 inches of snow last
Friday/Saturday, a record.
Top 3 songs for the week of 5/6/78: #1 “Night Fever” (Bee
Gees) #2 “If I Can’t Have You” (Yvonne Elliman) #3 “Can’t
Smile Without You” (Barry Manilow)…and…#4 “The Closer I
Get To You” (Roberta Flack with Donny Hathaway) #5 “With A
Little Luck” (Wings…one of their worst…you can do better, Sir
Paul!) #6 “Too Much, Too Little, Too Late” (Johnny Mathis /
Deniece Williams) #7 “You’re The One That I Want” (John
Travolta & Olivia Newton-John) #8 “Lay Down Sally” (Eric
Clapton…dreadful) #9 “Dust In The Wind” (Kansas…ditto)
#10 “Count On Me” (Jefferson Starship…bad week, bad year,
and my grades sophomore year at Wake were no better)
Triple Crown Quiz Answer: Sir Barton (1919), Gallant Fox
(1930), Omaha (1935), War Admiral (1937), Whirlaway (1941),
Count Fleet (1943), Assault (1946), Citation (1948), Secretariat
(1973), Seattle Slew (1977), Affirmed (1978)
*Since Affirmed, there have been ten horses that won both the
Derby and Preakness and then fell short in the Belmont,
including the most recent three; Smarty Jones (2004), Funny
Cide (2003), and War Emblem (2002).
By the way, as told in a piece for the New York Times by Joe
Drape, War Emblem has been a bust; as in “In nearly five and a
half years of contact with hundreds of mares, War Emblem, now
9, has managed to mate with only 70 of them, which is half of
most stallions’ yearly output. He has not produced a live foal
since 2005.”
**I’m going with Denis of Cork, Calvin Borel riding, to win the
Derby this year. Kids, do not wager more than $85,000 on this
one. My confidence level is basically zero.
Next Bar Chat, Monday.
