**Next Bar Chat…Monday, May 26**
[From Paris…as I crawl home…doing some touring here today,
Monday.]
Baseball Quiz: Entering the 2008 season, Randy Johnson had
the all-time best ratio of 10.78 strikeouts per nine innings. Pedro
Martinez was second (10.20), Nolan Ryan third (9.55) and Sandy
Koufax fourth (9.28). Name others in the top 20 with the
following initials…S.M., H.N., S.F., D.C., B.V., and J.M.
Answer below.
Some Final Thoughts on Jordan
I left in the dead of night, 2:00 a.m., on Sunday, in what turned
out to be the flight from hell to Paris. Part of it was because I
had too good a time at my last dinner in Amman, perhaps the
most perfect restaurant I’ve been to in terms of overall
atmosphere and quality of food, La Maison Verte. So to my new
friends at this establishment, thanks for a wonderful time. But I
probably didn’t need that last sambuca. The flight was packed,
Air France didn’t upgrade me this time (I’m getting spoiled) and
with me in a window seat, the guy next to me kept intruding on
my space, almost to the point of being creapy, if you catch my
drift. It didn’t help when the pilot came on and said the flight
would be five hours due to headwinds. I feel like I’m still
recovering from it all. [And thus my excuse for this column.]
Earlier, following up on my last chat, as Day Two of my travels
started I was beginning to wonder if my driver’s name was really
Salim. So I pulled the ol’ stealth trick. As I greeted him I said “I
don’t have your card,” upon receipt of same learning it was
“Ishaq”. My bad. I could have stayed with Salim for the
purposes of this column, but then that wouldn’t have been very
nice, especially if one day one of you gets him and you’re going
“Do you know the editor of Bar Chat? The guy who refuses to
sign his column?”
Day Two wasn’t as exciting as Day One; after all, it’s hard to top
seeing Moses’ burial place and the site of Jesus’ baptism in one
tour. [I forgot to mention the other day that the Jordanians, 98%
Muslim, are very proud of Pope John Paul II’s 2000 trip there
confirming the estimated spot where John the Baptist did his
thing, because it wasn’t in Israel.]
Anyway, while the second day wasn’t as exciting, I did see some
of the best Roman ruins at Um Qays (2nd c. A.D.), Pella (Greek
and Roman, going back to 1,000 B.C.!), and Jerhash, spectacular,
and a city that had been occupied in one fashion or another for
6,500 years. Very cool and massive. It took 30 minutes to walk
the length of Jerhash. But here is where there was a heavy
security presence. There are metal detectors and lots of soldiers
so I avoided the crowds with the bigger tour groups. [Safety tips
when touring ruins in the Middle East… another free feature of
Bar Chat.]
Back to Pella, when we left the site we hit some stone houses
with no electricity and guys riding donkeys. In other words, as
Ishaq said nothing’s changed from the time of Christ in this little
village. In fact that’s what’s so cool when you travel around.
Outside of Amman and a few other built up cities, much of
Jordan is barren, just as it was in Biblical times. If I was 20
years old and more adventurous, I’d take a camel trek for a week
as I was told some do, staying with the Bedouins. Then again,
the last thing I would want to do is be on a camel, riding in the
rain.
Now where were we? Also on Day Two, I saw a really cool
castle at Ajlun that dated back to the 6th century and was used by
the great Saladdin (12th c.) I didn’t think some of these ruins
could be so neat, but they were and this particular castle, which
on a clear day looked out over much of Israel and parts of Syria,
was as great a site as you could find. Plus I had a super guide
who explained how he took around then Ambassador William
Burns and one of his little kids and the kid got sick all over
daddy. [I assumed you wanted some color.]
Day Two was when Ishaq got me up close and personal with the
Golan Heights and all the security checkpoints, per that other
column I do. If you’re a political science freak, it’s as exciting as
anything else you’ll see in the country. By the way, the
Jordanian soldiers were funny. Some took their job very
seriously and pointed their rifles at the car as you pulled up,
others sat in their chairs and waved you on. One guy, though,
gave us something to drink to give to his friend at the next
checkpoint, in a baggie, which was a good commercial for the
maker, come to think of it. You aren’t allowed to take pictures
when traveling alongside the Israeli border and the Golan
Heights, incidentally, and this was one time when I didn’t want
to be a jerk about it.
The third day I traveled with Ishaq, after spending a day largely
writing that other column which I sign, was a long one…265 km
to Petra (a three-hour drive south of Amman into the desert). I
mean to tell you, it is one boring drive, but even here you get to
see the place up close and personal, as in you pass some really
dreadful villages where you’re thinking if this car breaks down
we’re screwed. Of course that isn’t being fair to the Jordanian
people, but when you pass little towns with abandoned cars as
lawn ornaments, it kind of makes one wonder what kind of
reception you’d receive.
But we eventually arrived in Petra (and the last half hour or so
into the place is quite scenic in its own way) and wow, this is
spectacular. Petra is one of the ‘new’ Seven Wonders of the
World, a lost city that was abandoned in the 12th c. and
rediscovered by a Swiss explorer in 1812. [The Roman Emperor
Trajan had conquered it in 106 A.D., or thereabouts.] If you’re
familiar with “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” part of the
movie was filmed here. [Petra is also near Wadi Rum, where
much of “Lawrence of Arabia” was filmed. I can’t wait to see
that flick again now after this trip.]
Petra is the home of the “The Treasury,” which really wasn’t a
treasury of any kind but back after the city was abandoned, some
Bedouins moved in who didn’t have any idea of what they had
found and the historic significance and in the main ruin they saw
this urn up high and shot at it, thinking it held money. Well, it
was stone, and there was no money, but they kept the name. [I’d
say something about the Bedouin here, but then I’d have to sleep
with one eye open back home, waiting for the sound of
thundering hooves. Trust me, the last thing you want to see
when you open the front door in suburbia before heading out to
get the morning paper is to have a Bedouin, all wrapped up, rifle
in hand, staring at you.]
Speaking of the Bedouin, they’re all over Petra, but only during
the day. The story is the Jordanian government, once they
realized what a tourist treasure they had, booted the Bedouin out
of town, but instead built them homes in a village nearby. The
deal was, though, that the Bedouin could work the site during the
day, only they had to leave at night. My guide said innocently,
“I think this is a good thing.” I thought so too. They ride their
horses around, some looking like Taliban out of central casting,
and try and get you to go with them for a spell. After leaving my
guide for the walk back up the canyon, one Bedouin kept
bothering me, “Three dinar ($4.50) to take you back up the hill.”
“No thank you.” “C’mon…three dinar.” “No thank you.” “I
need the work.” “Hey, stop it!” As soon as I said that I thought,
‘Where did that come from, editor? Hey, stop it?!’ I think I
startled him….he stopped.
So here’s some advice. Just Google “Petra, Jordan” to get a
sense of the place. If you ever decide to go, I’ll be ticked if you
don’t write me first. I have some good advice. I was lucky to
have a super weather day, not too hot, and the crowds were
manageable, but during peak tourist season, I don’t know if I’d
want to be there because it takes away from the experience, plus
you’d die from the heat, normally not a good thing unless that’s
the way you wanted to go.
Once we left Petra, that meant three hours back to Amman on the
same awful desert highway. Off in the distance you see Jordan’s
main export…lots of phosphate mountains. There is a single
train line that takes the phosphate to Saudi Arabia, meaning since
it’s a single line, you can only have one train running at the same
time so it was explained to me they make the 20-hour journey (in
an old train resembling “Indiana Jones”) just a few times a week.
At one point we stopped at a rest stop on the way home and I was
floored how nice it was inside. Ishaq insisted I share some tea
with the locals. I stared at them, with Homer Simpson blinking
eyes, and they stared at me, though I got a smile out of my
waiter.
But I do have to say Ishaq on the drive back had some great
stories. He pointed out a Saudi tour bus and said it had been to
the Hajj, which Ishaq and his wife went to once. [I watched the
Hajj Channel on television for a half hour one day.] He said the
Saudis were absolutely nuts, like in driving. In fact he said he
couldn’t believe how he saw 12-year-olds driving cars, with
obviously no license. One time the two of them are trying to get
a taxi in Mecca and this little kid, about 11 or 12, pulls up in a
marked taxi. Needless to say, they passed.
He also told of this one Saudi town you go through that has tons
of monkeys of all sizes. They attack the buses, looking for food,
so the passengers are given rocks to throw at the monkeys. Only
one problem, when you do this you can hit a car going the other
way. Doh!
Tidbits
–Once or twice a year they get snow in Amman (kind of similar
to nearby Jerusalem), and Ishaq said they can get 200-300 car
pileups because not only don’t Jordanians know how to drive
(though they weren’t awful in my estimation), the cars are
running on bald tires (that I could see).
–Throughout Jordan, you see lots of goat and sheep and you’re
constantly thinking, what do they eat? There is no grass. I mean
they look healthy and all. I kept bringing this up with Ishaq and
he’d say, “Look, there is a clump of grass out there!”
–Reading up before my trip, I saw that Jordan was home to
hyenas. Alas, didn’t see any. Then again, I probably wouldn’t
have wanted to see any unless I was safely inside the car.
–On the desert highway (Kings Highway…5,000 years old,
actually) we passed a building with a sign on it “The Center for
American Doors.” Bet you didn’t know there was such an
institution.
–So I’m sitting at dinner one night, when these three British
ladies out of a sitcom sit down and one goes “It’s so dark I can’t
read my menu!” I’m thinking, ‘Oh yeah, this ought to be
entertaining for moi.’ Man, they bitched and bitched and
bitched. Luckily, I had made friends with the chef from the night
before so I called him out and said “You better get over there.
They’re about to walk out.” He charmed them and once again,
shuttle diplomacy had worked its wonders.
–On the television, there was this Lebanese channel that played
the Middle East’s version of “Big Brother” non-stop. Who
decides to go on these shows? Whether it’s Big Brother: U.S.A.,
or Big Brother: France, or Big Brother: Lebanon, these people
are all the same. Insufferable. The lowest form of humanity on
earth. [The guys felt compelled to constantly wear sunglasses
inside…gotta be cool after all. Which reminds me of one of my
favorite stories of all time. My good buddy Bill L. from PIMCO
was giving a presentation to some Merrill Lynch brokers in
Washington and after about 20 minutes, one rep goes, “Ah, Bill?
You can take your sunglasses off.” Needless to say, Bill was a
bit embarrassed….but he’s been there 25 years now, including
our joint Thomson McKinnon days, and he’s tonning it.]
Stuff
–Go Big Brown! Unfortunately, I didn’t see the Preakness, but
now it’s on to the main event. We need a Triple Crown winner.
The only bad thing in terms of the sport is I imagine the owners
would immediately retire the horse, instead of letting it run two
or three more times, like at Saratoga. That’s what the sport
really needs because that is when the horse really gets to capture
America. At least that’s the feeling here in my hotel room in
Paris.
–Justine Henin, ranked #1 in the world and just 25 years of age,
announced her retirement from tennis after winning seven Grand
Slam titles (4 French, 2 U.S., and one Australian Open). And
then golfer Annika Sorenstam, only 37, said she was retiring at
the end of the year.
–Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter is saying not so fast when
it comes to the NFL’s Spygate. The league is claiming their
investigation is over. Specter says, “The NFL investigation was
neither objective nor adequate” and that NFL Commissioner Paul
Goodell has made “ridiculous” assertions that wouldn’t fly “in
kindergarten.” Specter’s meeting with former Patriots video
assistant Matt Walsh detailed extensive, systematic cheating, as
now Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weiss relayed information from
players who were taught how to steal the signs on to quarterback
Tom Brady. As the New York Daily News’ Mike Lupica added,
Bill Belichick’s sounding a lot like Roger Clemens in going after
Walsh the way Clemens went after Brian McNamee.
–The Feds are saying former NBA referee Tim Donaghy bet on
more than 100 games he worked.
–Now they say it’s official…Jessica Simpson has split from
Tony Romo. And I was distressed to learn Shania Twain, 42
(and thus closer to my age than Jessica Simpson), is splitting
after 14 years of marriage to producer/husband Mutt Lange, 59.
In the end, you always knew the name “Mutt” would come back
to bite him.
–At Yankee Stadium, Foster’s on tap sets you back $10.50.
–I apologize to all Cubs fans for saying their now 27-17 team
wouldn’t finish .500. I also wish I was a Tampa Bay fan rather
than the Mets these days.
–Boston’s Dice-K is 7-0, while San Francisco’s mammoth
investment, Barry Zito, is 0-8 with a 6.25 ERA.
–One of the great feel good stories of the decade is Texas
outfielder Josh Hamilton, a former drug addict, who is staying
clean and hitting .318 with 10 homers and 49 RBI already.
–And there’s my main man, Houston’s Lance Berkman. I told
you first… watch out, he could be Triple Crown bound and after
45 games, we have a fairly large sampling. Berkman is hitting
.399 with 16 home runs and 45 batted in.
–John Phillip Law died, 70. Co-star with Jane Fonda in
“Barbarella,” until I read the obituary I had totally forgotten he
was the Russian submariner in “The Russians Are Coming, The
Russians Are Coming,” one of the great flicks of all time.
Top 3 songs for the week of 5/20/67: #1 “Groovin’” (The Young
Rascals) #2 “The Happening” (The Supremes) #3 “Sweet Soul
Music” (Arthur Conley)…and…#4 “Somethin’ Stupid” (Nancy
Sinatra & Frank Sinatra) #5 “Respect” (Aretha Franklin) #6 “I
Got Rhythm” (The Happenings) #7 “Release Me (And Let Me
Love Again)” (Engelbert Humperdinck) #8 “Close Your Eyes”
(Peaches and Herb) #9 “Don’t You Care” (The Buckinghams …
a personal fave) #10 “You Got What It Takes” (The Dave Clark
Five…yeah, baby!)
Baseball Quiz Answer: Top 20 in strikeouts per game:
5. Sam McDowell (8.86) 6. Hideo Nomo (8.74) 9. Sid
Fernandez (8.40) 11. David Cone (8.28) 14. Bob Veale (7.96)
18. Jim Maloney (7.81)
Next Bar Chat….Memorial Day…I need some time to catch up
when I return, folks.
