Nuts!

Vice President Quiz: [One time only…back to sports next chat…but with a new president coming on board I thought I’d mix things up.] 

There was never any doubt Rickey Henderson would get in on his first attempt for Baseball’s Hall of Fame, but for former Red Sox great Jim Rice, it doesn’t get any closer as Rice earned the requisite 75% of the vote from the writers in his final year of eligibility, his 15th, in receiving 76.4%. 

I’ve been a Rice supporter over the years and I believe if he had just hit another 18 homeruns to get to 400 for his career, he might have gotten in a lot sooner. It’s a magic number, pre-major steroids revelations, that would have been too tough to ignore, even with some of the writers who think they are more important than the game itself. [The same writers who were miffed at Rice for not treating them well.]

Look, Rice couldn’t be a unanimous pick in anyone’s mind, but the fact is he clouted 382 homers and drove in 1,451 runs while hitting .298. He had four, 200-hit seasons. He was an 8-time All-Star. Rice was an MVP, and finished in the top five in the voting (a big stat with me) six times. He was a three-time home run champ and led the league in ribbies twice. Jim Rice was one of the two or three dominant hitters of his era. 

But moving forward, you can build a good case for the next two candidates in the voting… 

Andre Dawson, who in his 8th year on the ballot received 67.0%, and Bert Blyleven, in his 12th with 62.7%. I’m a Blyleven guy, but we’ll pick up the argument next December…or maybe in the dog days of summer. 

As for Mark McGwire, once again he failed to receive 25%, slipping to 21.9% in his 3rd year of eligibility. McGwire thus has 12 years to set the record straight and try to win back the writers. It’s not an impossible task. But he’s kept quiet and only Mark can do it. Over the next year look for more and more to urge him to talk. Personally, I say he should go on “60 Minutes” and spill his guts. He’s a nice guy, unlike Roger Clemens, and would win a lot of the public over. 

Speaking of Mr. Clemens, trainer Brian McNamee is to meet with federal prosecutors over the coming days or weeks, the feds having convened a grand jury in the perjury investigation of Clemens. Prosecutors continue to examine whether Clemens lied under oath last February in his congressional testimony and the Daily News reports that admitted steroid supplier Kirk Radomski appeared before the grand jury last Wednesday. Among those the News says should be particularly concerned is Astros star Miguel Tejada, the subject of his own FBI investigation. [Separately, the New York Times reports that federal agent Jeff Novitzky has been helping prosecutors prepare witnesses and evidence to present to the grand jury. Ooh baby.] 

And I keep forgetting that the Barry Bonds perjury trial is slated for March. Why that’s just around the corner, kids! Bonds and Clemens are scheduled to be on the Hall of Fame ballot in four years. 

[One last Hall note…Aside from Rice, the only two to be elected in their final year of eligibility are Red Ruffing and Ralph Kiner. Kiner deserved to get in in his second year. Not first…that’s reserved for the very special few…but the second, not 15th.] 

Lt. Gen. Harry Kinnard, RIP, and The Battle of the Bulge

Brad K. pointed out that Gen. Kinnard passed away. He was 93. Who was Harry Kinnard? Read on…from a series I did four years ago…an oldie but goodie. 

Back then it was the 60th anniversary of one of the last, great battles of World War II. Fought from December 16, 1944 to January 16, 1945, it was Hitler’s final gasp; a colossal gamble that cost both sides dearly but spelled the end of the Third Reich; The Battle of the Bulge.

In the fall of 1944, Hitler had been disguising a tremendous buildup opposite France’s Ardennes Forest. Germany had already suffered four million casualties; its cities and industrial plants were being pulverized; the Luftwaffe had been decimated and his remaining forces were being battered from both sides.

But while he knew he couldn’t defeat the Red Army in the east, according to historian Donald L. Miller, “he had contempt for the fighting ability of the Americans. The Americans were winning the war, he was convinced, by the sheer power of their mass production economy. If he cut their precarious supply line he might be able to force them to capitulate.”

Hitler’s generals vehemently opposed the plan to split the American and British forces and retake the port city of Antwerp, but Hitler proceeded to raise a new army, the Volksgrenadier, “a people’s infantry of former airmen and sailors, conscripts from Nazi-occupied countries who spoke no German, and grandfathers and young boys, some of them only 15 years old. It would link up with veteran army units, including the Waffen SS, in a lightning counterattack along an 85-mile front that ran from southern Belgium to the middle of Luxembourg.” [Miller]

As Hitler himself described it, he was depending on “Fog, night, and snow” to give him his victory; that and Albert Speer’s new tanks.

On the eve of the German attack, General Eisenhower bet his British counterpart Montgomery that the war would be over by Christmas. Rumors were rampant among the troops that Hitler was dead. General Omar Bradley postponed orders for winter gear in order to bring in more military equipment to finish the job instead.

But by the night of December 15, 250,000 German troops (with another 50,000 in reserve), 1,900 pieces of artillery and 970 tanks had been brought up to the staging area in total secrecy, poised to attack 83,000 Americans. Radio silence was strictly enforced; tanks and vehicles heavily camouflaged. Just three days earlier, an intelligence summary issued by General Bradley declared: “It is now certain that attrition is steadily sapping the strength of German forces on the western front.” But General Troy Middleton, at headquarters in Bastogne, said the front assigned to him in the Ardennes was too thinly held. “Don’t worry, Troy,” Bradley assured him, “they won’t come through here.”

On the morning of December 16, the Germans struck. All along the front, Americans were roused from their sleep by the thunder of artillery. Forward observers found their radio wavelengths jammed by the martial music of German bands. “One officer who did reach his commander by phone was interrupted in mid-sentence by a German voice announcing triumphantly, ‘We are here!’” [“The Illustrated History of World War II,” editor George Constable]

The surprise of the Americans is also captured in the reaction of a GI in the village of Honsfeld. He opened his door and saw a giant Tiger tank rumbling past. Slamming it he shouted, “My God! They’re German!”

Tragically, Hitler had issued a directive that the offensive must be “preceded by a wave of terror and fright.” In one instance, 22 Americans walked outside a building to surrender. They were shot. In another, 200 (including some Belgian villagers) were herded and a tank opened fired on them. But the worst, involving some 150 GIs, was in what would later be called the Malmedy Massacre, details of which I will leave out as they are too brutal. [3 incredibly survived, however. For the record, I also read varying estimates on the number of GIs involved.]

But word of Malmedy swept through the American lines and it had an electrifying effect. American resistance quickly stiffened.

For his part, Brigadier General Anthony C. McAuliffe, acting commander of the 101st Airborne, moved his 11,000 men to General Middleton’s VIII Corps headquarters in Bastogne with the orders to hold it at all costs.

The winter fog was so thick that the Germans had trouble gauging the force they were facing there, allowing the Americans to dig in, and by Dec. 20, McAuliffe felt confident enough that he could repel any German offensive. Bastogne was encircled, though, and McAuliffe did have to worry about a lack of supplies.

“If you see four hundred Germans in a hundred yard area and they have their heads up,” he told one officer, “you can fire artillery at them. But not more than two rounds.”

Medical supplies were nonexistent because on Dec. 19 the 101st’s medical unit, including surgeons, was captured. The only painkiller left was brandy.

At 11:30 AM on Dec. 22, Sergeant Oswald Butler saw four Germans walking toward a farmhouse he was occupying. On the field telephone he reported, “There’re four Krauts coming up the road. They’re carrying a white flag. It looks like they want to surrender.”

The Germans asked to see the American commanding general. Major Alvin Jones took them to his command post and relayed the message to divisional headquarters. “It’s an ultimatum, sir,” Jones said to Lieut. Colonel Ned D. Moore, the 101st’s chief of staff. Moore handed the document to McAuliffe. “They want you to surrender,” he said.

“Aw, nuts!” exclaimed McAuliffe, leaving the room. Reminded the Germans needed a reply, McAuliffe said, “Well, I don’t know what to tell them.”

Lieut. Col. Harry Kinnard then chimed in, “That first crack you made would be hard to beat, General.”

“What was that?” McAuliffe asked.

“You said, ‘Nuts!’”

“That’s it!” McAuliffe said.

So a note was typed up: “To the German Commander: Nuts! The American Commander.”

McAuliffe then handed the reply to Col. Joseph H. “Bud” Harper, commander of the 327th Glider Infantry Regiment. “Will you see that it’s delivered?”

“I’ll deliver it myself!” said Harper. Then, at the command post, Harper handed the note to the German major and said, “If you don’t understand what ‘Nuts’ means, in plain English it’s the same as ‘Go to hell.’ And I will tell you something else – if you continue to attack, we will kill every goddamn German that tried to break into this city!”

The Germans saluted formally. “We will kill many Americans,” the captain declared. Upon learning of this whole episode, Hitler was furious.

On December 23 the weather broke and the Americans received the long-awaited supply drop of ammunition, medical supplies and food. 

Meanwhile, on December 19, 1944, as General Eisenhower was meeting with his top staff to decide how to beat back the German offensive that had begun three days earlier, Ike said that as bad as it was for the Americans, “The present situation is to be regarded as one of opportunity for us and not of disaster.”

General Patton grinned and said, “Hell, let’s have the guts to let the sons of bitches go all the way to Paris. Then we’ll really cut ‘em off and chew ‘em up!”

“No,” Eisenhower replied. “The enemy will never be allowed to cross the Meuse.”

The Americans were fighting back in the Ardennes and had soon developed a solid line of defense. Patton’s Third Army was to slice through the German flank and relieve the vital road to Bastogne. Ike asked him when he could attack. “On December 22, with three divisions,” Patton replied.

The other generals shook their heads in disbelief. Patton was proposing a move of enormous complexity. But he rather enjoyed the situation. Lighting a cigar and pointing to the German penetrations on the map, he said “This time the Kraut has stuck his head in a meat grinder, and this time I’ve got the handle.”

By December 26, Lieut. Colonel Creighton W. Abrams (later known for his role in Vietnam) was ready to move his tank battalion into Bastogne. He radioed Patton, seeking authorization to attack.

“I sure as hell will!” Patton shouted. Standing up in the turret of his tank, Abrams stuck a big cigar in his mouth and announced: “We’re going in now. Let ‘er roll!”

As the tanks rolled in, a 19-year old private, James R. Hendrix, armed only with a rifle, took on the crews of two German 88mm artillery pieces that were pounding the Shermans. “Come on out!” shouted Hendrix. A German poked his head up from a foxhole. Hendrix shot him in the neck. Running to the next foxhole, he smashed another German in the head with the butt of his rifle, and charged straight at the muzzles of the two big guns. The crews came out with their hands up. Hendrix’s brief one-man war won him the Medal of Honor. Just one example of the heroism that led to the lifting of the siege of Bastogne shortly thereafter.

On December 30, the Allies launched their counteroffensive, but the Germans fought back with ferocity. Then on New Year’s Day, 1945, Hitler countered with what was called “The Great Blow,” aimed at eliminating Allied air power that was proving so lethal. At 8:00 AM, hundreds of fighter aircraft were unleashed over Belgium, Holland and northern France, pounding Allied airfields for two hours. The Great Blow, in one sense, was a huge success. By 10:00 AM, 206 Allied aircraft had been destroyed or damaged. But it was also virtual suicide for the Germans, as the Luftwaffe lost 300 planes and 253 trained pilots. The Luftwaffe never again took to the sky in such numbers.

But the Battle of the Bulge would rage on for almost another full month. In January 1945, the U.S. army suffered more battle casualties – over 39,000 – than in any other month in the fight for northwest Europe.

It was also the hardest fighting. The Americans were now on the attack, in waist-deep snow and in the face of sharp winds and relentless artillery fire, which accounted for over half the American casualties in the battle.

“People didn’t crumble and fall like they did in the Hollywood movies,” said infantryman Bart Hagerman. “They were tossed in the air and their blood splattered everywhere. And a lot of people found themselves covered in blood and flesh of their friends, and that’s a pretty tough thing for anybody to handle.”

But as Robert Georgen said: “Even when we became emotionally disturbed over the death of a comrade blown to bits, our very next thought was, despite the initial sorrow, ‘better him than me.’” Then he added: “You would have to be there under intolerable circumstances to understand our distorted value system.”

Infantryman Bob Conroy recalled a moment when his foxhole mate was ripped by a machine gun from roughly the left thigh through to the right waist.

“He then told me that he was hit through the stomach as well. Well, when you’re that far from your home base, and it’s snowing and the temperature zero, you don’t have a chance. We were cut off. The Germans had overrun our position and we were in foxholes by ourselves, so we both knew he was going to die.

“We had no morphine. We couldn’t ease (the pain), and so I tried to knock him out. I took off his helmet, held his jaw up, and just whacked it hard as I could, because he wanted to be put out. That didn’t work and so I hit him up by the head with a helmet and that didn’t work. Nothing worked. He slowly froze to death, bled to death. The next morning, as I looked at our gear, it looked as if I’d spent a day in a butcher shop.”

In January 1945, the American Army was still waiting for its full shipment of winter boots. [You’ll recall how General Bradley screwed that one up.] Without them, some men’s toes froze up to the size of softballs and turned black. If gangrene set in, their feet had to be amputated. Men’s overcoats became soaked with moisture and caked with mud and freezing rain. The coats became so heavy that troops threw them away.

Finally, on January 8 Hitler authorized a withdrawal from the tip of the Bulge and on the 16th most would say the battle was over, though some fighting continued until January 28, the official date in other accounts. The Germans then rallied to defend their homeland, with further tragic consequences.

The Battle of the Bulge was almost entirely an American battle, the biggest and costliest ever fought by the U.S. Army. 19,000 Americans were killed, 47,000 wounded and 15,000 captured. The Germans suffered over 100,000 casualties.

The battle was also almost entirely a soldier’s battle, “a confusing, close quarters slugfest won by thousands of small fighting units, without much overall direction from headquarters.” [Donald Miller] While it was described as General Patton’s finest hour, when he was asked about his incredible rescue mission at Bastogne, he laughed and replied:

“To tell you the truth, I didn’t have anything much to do with it. All you need is confidence and good soldiers. I’ll put our goddam, bitching, belching, bellyaching GIs up against any troops in the world.”

And so we honor the few remaining survivors of the Battle of the Bulge, the late Lt. Gen. Harry Kinnard, and the memory of those who lost their lives so far from home.

[Sources: “The Story of World War II” Donald L. Miller; “The Illustrated History of World War II” edited by George Constable] 

After 13 seasons and one Super Bowl at Tampa Bay and Indianapolis, 53-year-old Tony Dungy has finally called it quits after threatening to do so the past few years. “I’m at a point, kind of like the Apostle Paul, (who said) ‘If I live, it’s good. If I die and go home with the Lord, it’s better.’” [No disrespect, but I do want my Mets and Jets to win titles before I ‘go home’ myself. Throw in a b-ball title out of Wake Forest and I’d sign the papers.] 

Sally Jenkins / Washington Post 

“Tony Dungy made winning seem like a good deed. That’s his real achievement as an NFL coach, the one he’s proudest of, as opposed to any claim to being the first this or that. His bequest to the league includes his Super Bowl-victor’s role in prodding a bunch of reluctant owners toward social justice, but mainly he’ll be known for plain decency, the fact he paired the words ‘champion’ and ‘good guy’ in the same sentence. 

“It sounds like a small thing, but it’s not. The qualities that make great coaches are often negative: They tend to be obsessive workaholics with controlling natures, whose dictatorial traits get stronger as pressure mounts, and the worst are snap-jawed tyrants. 

“Dungy has his imperfections, and he’s as intense a gamesman as anyone, but he always fought that magnetized pull called loss of perspective. He coached from a place of basic kindness, treating every opponent as a friend, and the game as a game, even under duress.” 

Dungy was the first black coach to win a Super Bowl, and was the youngest assistant coach in league history when Chuck Noll hired him in 1981 at age 25 to work for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Finally getting his chance at a head coaching gig at Tampa Bay in 1996, he set the modern NFL record for consecutive playoff appearances, 10, and only twice in his 13 seasons did his team fail to make the postseason. Dungy is being replaced by longtime assistant Jim Caldwell, who was also the coach at Wake Forest from 1993-2000. 

Tennessee Titans coach Jeff Fisher finally went ballistic (sort of) over the delay of game non-call in the loss to Baltimore. “I’ve always maintained that there’s a human element in the game as far as officiating is concerned. [They’re] going to make mistakes; it is part of our game. But this particular mistake was unacceptable. There is no excuse for it, it was a mistake, and it was a costly mistake.” 

It was third-and-2 from the Baltimore 32 with 2:51 remaining and should have been third-and-7. Maybe Baltimore still makes the first down, as it did with Flacco’s 23-yarder to Todd Heap that led to the game-winning field goal…but maybe they don’t. 

The NFL’s explanation was that there is a “natural delay” when the back judge looks from the play clock to the center to see if the ball is snapped, as analyst Phil Simms explained at the time, but as partner Jim Nantz added, this pause was more than a natural delay. 

Speaking of Baltimore, boy did I catch some heat for saying I ‘despised’ the Ravens. Yup, perhaps too strong, seeing as I hope the Jets hire Brian Billick (not a chance…but maybe their current defensive coordinator), though as an outsider, while the Ravens play very entertaining smash-mouth football, I don’t like some of the players. [See Tyrell Suggs…for starters.] But good luck, Baltimore fans. 

As for Sunday’s contests, I think both will be great. I also don’t understand those who say that with New York out, any potential Super Bowl match-up is unattractive from a ratings standpoint. First off, any real football fan would love Pittsburgh-Philadelphia. And any fan of football also has to love Kurt Warner. What a story if he gets back to the Big Game, let alone the fact receiver Larry Fitzgerald is the most electrifying offensive threat since Gale Sayers. [OK…just wrote that off the top of my head; haven’t really given it a lot of thought, but if you want to bring up some kick returner favorite of yours, just remember Fitzgerald is on the field far more.]

By the way, after all I wrote about Ben Roethlisberger and his last concussion, on Monday the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported that Big Ben had suffered a “spinal cord concussion” when he was hit in the last regular season game against Cleveland, after which, you’ll recall, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin said Ben was fine. Not quite. But he looked great against the Chargers last week. Nonetheless, the damage done to Roethlisberger’s body just keeps adding up. 

After the Giants’ loss on Sunday, General Manager Jerry Reese basically said the team would welcome Plaxico Burress back next season, seeing as it was proved how badly they needed the guy on the field. Of course Plax still faces a possible jail sentence on gun charges. 

Now we learn a civil trial was to begin on Wednesday in Pennsylvania over damages to a car Burress was leasing that ended up being impounded by New York City police, a case involving an August 2005 shooting in the Bronx. As ESPN.com reports: 

“Court papers in Pennsylvania say a Lebanon County car dealer allowed Burress to borrow a 2004 Chevrolet Avalanche worth more than $36,000 in exchange for Burress agreeing to sign autographs at promotional events…. 

“But about a month after Burress received the car, (the auto dealer) said he received a call from police in New York, who told him they had impounded it in connection with a crime. So he called Burress and told him to call police – but the police never heard from Burress and Burress never returned another one of (the auto dealer’s) calls.” 

The case is even more involved than this…but I’m sure Jerry Reese couldn’t care less. He just needs that clutch receiver to get back to the Super Bowl. 

Separately, Eli Manning’s contract is up after next season and the team is believed to be ready to offer him an extension making him a member of the $100 million quarterback club. Sources told the Daily News that Eli is in line for a seven- or eight-year deal worth $110-$120 million, with $40 million guaranteed. Brother Peyton is in the midst of a seven-year, $98 million contract. [Donovan McNabb, Carson Palmer, and Michael Vick have/had contracts in excess of $100 million. Not sure on the status of Vick’s deal these days as Atlanta still owns the rights.] Eli is going to get all this money even though he has really only had about five great games in his career and were it not for David Tyree’s once-in-a-century catch, he’d be largely known as a bum. At least that’s the view of some. Eli supporters, though, would point to the fact he made a fantastic play to be in a position to throw it to Tyree. But if you watched him this past Sunday, there’s only one way to describe our next $100 million man’s performance. He totally sucked. 

College Basketball Review 

[Pitt, Wake and Clemson are the only remaining undefeated teams, with Pitt and Wake playing Wednesday night after this column has been posted.] 

As a Wake alum, on the heels of our big win over North Carolina, Sunday, I have to note the comments of Tarheels coach Roy Williams. 

“(Coach) Dino (Gaudio) and his staff have done a great job. They guard you. There’s a reason we shot 35 percent and it was because of their defensive play. I loved Skip Prosser. I loved him to death. He was one of the nicest guys I’ve ever been around. This is Dino’s club right now and he needs to be congratulated for the way he handled one of the most tragic situations I’ve ever seen in my life. [Ed. Prosser dropped dead the summer of ’07.] He also needs to be congratulated because he’s coached his rear end off here the last couple of years.” 

And to my fellow Demon Deacon fans, while it’s way too early to pencil ourselves in for Detroit and the Final Four (especially after all our past disappointments, like during the Duncan years), one thing is for sure; Jeff Teague is Randolph Childress’ clone. And as Ronald Reagan would have said, that’s “not bad…not bad at all.” 

Kentucky’s junior guard Jodie Meeks had a school record 54 points as the Wildcats defeated Tennessee, 90-72. Meeks made 10 of 15 3-point attempts and all 14 free throws (along with five two-point shots). The performance broke a 39-year-old record of 53 points scored by the great Dan Issel. Meeks’ 54 are also the most in regulation by any player in Division I in over a decade. 

No doubt, Bar Chat has the best shark attack research team in the world with the deepest staff in the business…men like Dan L., Director of Shark Attacks for the East Coast, Bob S., Director of West Coast operations, and this week, Al S., who is being placed in charge of Vanuatu, and all islands in that volcanic island group. [Sorry, Al. I can’t afford to send you there as yet.] 

After my latest update on the shark situation in Australia, further stories poured in. Like this one from Rory Callinan of Time. 

“Swimmers at Australian beaches are usually reassured by statistics that indicate they are more likely to be struck by lighting than chomped by a shark. But, after three non-fatal shark attacks in the country in less than 48 hours and a deadly one last month, some are wondering if the odds have changed… 

“Australia’s summer [reminder, sports fans, it’s summer down under while we freeze our asses off up here] of shark terror began Dec. 27 when local banker Brian Guest went missing while snorkeling off a beach south of Perth in Western Australia….Authorities concluded he had been killed by a large white pointer shark spotted near the beach. 

“That attack was followed by several more. On Jan. 11, a man surfing near Fingal Head in northern New South Wales was bitten on the thigh. Jonathon Beard, 31, made it to shore and survived after his friends used the leg rope from his surf board to stem the bleeding. 

“The same day Hannah Mighall, 13, was surfing in Binalong Bay off the Tasmania coast in Australia’s far south [Ed. I left my sunglasses once in a bar in Tasmania, expensive ones…but I digress], when she screamed and was dragged under the water by what authorities suspect was a large white pointer. Her cousin paddled to the injured girl and dragged her to safety while being circled by the shark. On Jan. 12, a man snorkeling in a tidal lake in New South Wales was bitten on the leg, probably by a bull shark. Authorities reported the man punched the shark in the nose [Muhammad Ali in his prime would have flicked the jab and danced away] and made it to shore with about 40 puncture wounds. All of the victims are recovering.” 

Well, some in Australia are bitching that the government is protecting the sharks instead of caring about the good, taxpaying citizens, pointing to a policy of letting suspected man-eaters go, which is sort of what the U.S. government has done with Bernie Madoff as I go to post. Queensland fisherman Vic Hislop notes, “Sharks do hang around after the attack and the government has a duty of care to deal with it. (Sharks) learn to kill humans. They learn to go in hard and fast.” Amen, Vic. 

You see, after the Dec. 27 attack, a volunteer rescue boat came across a shark that fit the description (big fish…with fins) but took no action. Hugh Edwards, a fisherman and author who films sharks, added, “I tend to agree that individual sharks can be responsible for more than one attack.”

John West, curator of the official Australian Shark Attack File says there has been no real increase in attacks, noting “There is still an average of 1.2 fatalities a year over about the past 50 years,” the 0.2 representing an arm or leg, I assume. 

But back to the Hannah Mighall attack, Hannah was surfing with her cousin, 33-year-old Syb Mundy. Hannah, 13, was dragged under the water repeatedly. Mundy said, “It had hold of her leg and was just thrashing her about like a rag doll. She was screaming and hitting the shark to try and get it off. It took her under the water a couple of times but she kept her head together.” 

“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs….” 

Anyway, Syb Mundy continued: “I paddled over and grabbed her. Its head came out of the water – it was huge. I clenched my fist and started punching it and I tried to gouge its eye but it was too big and I couldn’t reach. It was like hitting a brick wall, it was that dense. It was huge. It was easily the length of a car. It was just a monster. Finally it let her go and it disappeared. It was a horrible feeling not knowing where it was.” 

The shark then returned, taking a chunk out of Hannah’s surfboard and dragging her under again. She then resurfaced. 

“When she got free I said, ‘You’ve got to get on my back and not let go,’ Mr. Mundy said. 

“She climbed on my back but there was that much blood in the water I didn’t really know whether she could stay awake. We started paddling. The shark was behind us. Then it was underneath us.” 

Fortunately, they caught a wave that took them to shore. Said Mr. Mundy, “I’m not religious but there was a perfect wave that came just in the nick of time that must have been sent by God. We rode the wave to shore. But as I was paddling I looked to the left and the shark started surfing the wave with us.” 

On the beach locals stemmed the blood from Hannah’s leg with a tourniquet; her lower right leg having been bitten to the bone. 

Lastly, there was Jono Beard, 31, who was surfing with friends on the northeast coast, when he was attacked. 

“We were all just out there and there were six or seven dolphins around us….Then out of the blue there was an attack from below and the shark grabbed Jono and started thrashing him around,” said one of his friends. 

This isn’t the first time recently that dolphins have fallen down on the job, by the way.  It could cost them a few notches on the next All-Species List…now scheduled for Jan. 22. 

Q: Why have you lived this good, long life? [Wooden being 98 and, as pointed out last time, able to quote at length from Abraham Lincoln.] 

Wooden: That’s very hard to say. I honestly feel that one of the reasons could be that I’ve practiced moderation in almost everything. I never used alcohol in any way. [Ed. Doh!] Does that have anything to do with it? I don’t know. George Burns had a lot of it every day, and he lived to be over 100. [Ed. Phew!] I smoked a little bit when I was in the Navy, but that’s all. Did that have anything to do with it? I don’t know. But I do know this: I am very much at peace with myself. I’m not afraid of death. Certainly as I get older, it’s hard to…(long pause) I’m ready. I wish it would happen now. But I’m not going to try to hurry it. I’m not afraid of death. I’m not going to intentionally hurry it up, but I’m not afraid. I’ve been so blessed in my life. I’m thankful for so many things. 

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who played for Wooden from 1965-69:  “What did John Wooden mean to me in 1968? I had guidance from someone who had supreme knowledge of the game….He allowed us to try it our way and fail, and then showed us how to do it correctly. 

“And in 2008? Forty years later, it’s amazing because you understand that what he really taught us was how to be good citizens. He used basketball as a metaphor for life. He wanted us to get our degrees and go on and do things with our lives. We got an understanding of what that was all about from him by what he said and through the example that he put forth. 

“The one thing he said that sticks with me the most was that we might not achieve our goals, but if we gave our best effort, we would be satisfied with whatever the result was.

“The best thing about him that has nothing to do with basket is his pool game. He’s a shark. He can do trick shots. Well, could. Geez, the last time I saw him play was in college. We were playing an away game, and there was a pool table in the area where we had our team meal. Lucius Allen and Mike Warren considered themselves pretty good pool players, and they started shooting a few. Coach Wooden came over and wanted to play. He ran the table twice in a row, and our mouths just fell open.” 

—Sign of the times…the Yankees still have seven luxury suites remaining to be sold, out of 59, and about 1,000 out of 4,000 premium seats for their new stadium, as reported by Richard Sandomir of the New York Times. 

Meanwhile, the Mets have sold just under 2 million of a maximum 3.4 million available tickets for their debut season at Citi Field, which as noted last time is already rusting. 

Elsewhere, the Braves gave free agent pitcher Derek Lowe the 4th year he was seeking, at $15 million per, so there is still some irrational thinking in baseball despite the depression (he wrote, partly tongue in cheek). The Mets desired Lowe too, but only for 3 years and $36 million. 

And while we’re on the topic of pitching, this John Smoltz deal to Boston really bugs the hell out of me. He’s getting $5.5 million, guaranteed, even though it seems apparent he won’t be able to pitch for the big club until June following serious shoulder surgery. 

—Preston Gomez, longtime baseball man who became the second Latin America born manager when he was hired by the expansion Padres in 1969, passed away at the age of 86. He died from injuries suffered in a freak accident about ten months ago. As reported by Mike DiGiovanna of the Los Angeles Times: 

“On March 26…Gomez had been driving home from the Angels’ spring-training complex in Tempe, Ariz., [ed. Gomez was a consultant for the team] when he and (wife) Betty stopped for gas along the Arizona-California border. 

“Gomez had just finished fueling his vehicle and told his wife he was going for a walk when he stepped around the end of the gas pumps and into the path of a Dodge pickup truck…. 

“Gomez, who had been in excellent health, suffered a major head injury…” 

No charges were filed in the case, though ironically the driver of the Dodge turned out to be a first cousin of Damon Mashore, who played briefly with the Angels in 1998.

Preston Gomez had a 346-529 record managing for San Diego, Houston and the Chicago Cubs, but he’ll forever be known for removing two pitchers who were throwing no-hitters, San Diego’s Clay Kirby in 1970 and Houston’s Don Wilson in 1974. I’ve covered both episodes in these pages but as DiGiovanni notes: 

“The Padres trailed 1-0, when Kirby was pulled for a pinch-hitter in the eighth inning at San Diego. A chorus of boos and catcalls greeted the announcement, and one fan was so upset he leaped the rail, ran into the Padres dugout and was ejected by ushers. San Diego lost the game, 3-0. 

“In the other contest, the Astros were trailing Cincinnati by a run when Gomez lifted Wilson in the eighth inning for a pinch-hitter. The Reds had scored twice on a fifth-inning throwing error and won the game, 2-1.” 

—Tiger Woods announced on his web site, “As I had hoped, after Jan. 1, I started hitting longer irons and my driver. I’m not swinging as hard as I can, but I’m working toward that goal.” [Cue the “Jaws” music.] 

–Ball State QB Nate Davis, who couldn’t have played worse his last two games, nonetheless believes he’s ready for the NFL and is coming out early. We wish him luck. He should have stayed in school. 

[Watch…the Jets will draft him….as our long, local nightmare continues…] 

–This is pretty cool. Researchers discovered what is believed to be a complete tusk belonging to a prehistoric mammoth on Santa Cruz island off the Southern California coast. 

–We note the passing of Sidney Wood, 97. In 1931 (geez, that’s a long time ago), Wood was slated to face Frank Shields in the Wimbledon men’s singles championship match. But in the semifinal, Shields sprained a knee and, seeing as he was Wood’s Davis Cup teammate and American tennis officials didn’t want Shields to aggravate his injury two weeks before a Davis Cup match vs. Britain, he defaulted. 

Wood told The Observer in 2000, “It was the most stupid affront to Wimbledon you could imagine. The Davis Cup committee was a bunch of old guys with badges; and you know what badge-wearers are.” We sure do. [Richard Goldstein / New York Times] 

–Just when you think the Knicks are showing ever so slight signs of turning the franchise around, as in hiring a decent coach, Mike D’Antoni, who is getting as much as one can reasonably expect from the talent he was given, center Eddy Curry gets slapped “with a shocking sexual-harassment suit” by his former driver, as described by the New York Post. 

“Stunning court papers charge that Curry, a married father of several kids, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky ‘in the nude,’ saying, ‘Look at me, Dave, look’ and, ‘Come and touch it, Dave.’” 

Oops…sorry, kids. I should have given a warning this is rough stuff. 

“Curry, 26, also made Kuchinsky perform ‘humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [into which…..you know, I’m leaving this part out] so that his wife would not see them,’ the Manhattan federal court suits says. 

“Kuchinsky, 36, who is straight and Jewish, also alleges racism (and) claims Curry pointed a ‘fully loaded’ gun at him on at least two occasions.” 

Additionally, Kuchinsky says he is owed $68,000 in unpaid wages, along with other expenses. Eddy Curry is being paid $9.4 million this year and due to injury, because he is grossly out of shape, he has played two minutes…two minutes…the entire season. 

Now to attempt to be fair, Kuchinsky served three years for a 1992 burglary and received three years probation for a 2004 resisting arrest case, both in New Jersey. And Curry’s Knick teammates defended him profusely. He’s innocent until proven guilty, folks. 

It was just three years ago that a Knicks marketing executive, Anucha Browne Sanders, claimed then-General Manager Isiah Thomas made advances on her. She settled for $11.5 million after winning at trial. 

—Andy Rooney turned 90 on Wednesday. Forget whether you like the guy or not, if I should live to 90, I hope I can still operate a remote, let alone be as sharp as he is. 

Top 3 songs for the week 1/19/74: #1 “Show And Tell” (Al Wilson…great one) #2 “The Joker” (Steve Miller Band) #3 “Smokin’ In The Boy’s Room” (Brownsville Station)…and…#4 “I’ve Got To Use My Imagination” (Gladys Knight & The Pips) #5 “You’re Sixteen” (Ringo Starr) #6 “Time In A Bottle” (Jim Croce) #7 “The Way We Were” (Barbra Streisand) #8 “Living For The City” (Stevie Wonder) #9 “Let Me Be There” (Olivia Newton-John) #10 “Love’s Theme” (Love Unlimited Orchestra) 

*My man Jack Jones turned 71 on Wednesday. One of the two or three great voices of all time. Time to get out your recording of “Wives And Lovers.” I know…this is for the sixteenth time on this site. 

[As I’ve also mentioned only about a zillion times, I met Mr. Jones six years ago and he’s just a great guy. He also admitted during his performance that the above these days is as politically incorrect as you can get. The tune was written by Bacharach & David, by the way.] 

*Adlai Ewing Stevenson (1835-1914) was vice president from 1893-97. Adlai Ewing Stevenson (1900-65), yes, same name, was the grandson of the first one. Of course we remember the latter for his two unsuccessful runs for president as the Democratic candidate versus Dwight Eisenhower. Have to admit I didn’t know of the first Stevenson, which doesn’t necessarily make me a bad person.