**Update** …it appears there has been another shark attack in Sydney area waters. And this one is almost certainly fatal.
"Fishermen reported the presence of two large bull sharks on Tuesday, about one km from shore in the area where Patrick Koffa, a 19-year-old Liberian refugee, vanished while swimming with friends." [SMH]
[Further details next chat.]
ACC Career Scoring Quiz: I’ll give you the initials of 3-10, since you better know the first two. 3-10…D.H., J.D., R.M., B.S., C.L., M.G., J.L., D.T. Answer below.
[Note: A little harried today…thus a frenzied, though still Pulitzer-quality, column.]
Nothing But Stuff
–There were a number of stories concerning Santino the chimp, but I’m going with Henry Fountain’s piece in the New York Times.
“It has been thought that one thing that separates humans from the rest of the animal world is the ability to plan for future events. Not instinctive behavior like a squirrel burying nuts, but planning that shows the animal is considering what its mental state will be at a later time.
“Except in extremely rare and rather ambiguous circumstances, other animals have not shown this cognitive ability. They may be able to satisfy an immediate need – to fashion a tool, say, to obtain some food – but not plan to meet a future one.
“But then there’s Santino, a 30-year-old male chimpanzee at the Furuvik Zoo on the Baltic coast of Sweden. As Mathias Osvath of Lund University reports in Current Biology, Santino, the zoo’s dominant chimp, has been calmly planning rock-throwing attacks against zoo visitors for the past 11 years.”
It started in 1997 when he would throw stones at the visitors across a moat. But then zoo officials “found five caches in the chimps’ activity area, of three to eight stones each. Subsequent monitoring showed that in the early morning, before the zoo opened, Santino would collect stones and stockpile them. Later in the day he would hurl them at visitors.”
[No one has been hurt. Chimps have poor aim. But this is worrisome…very, very worrisome. Then again, better to get a rock in the head than have your face chewed off.]
–Federal authorities found evidence of performance-enhancing drugs on the drug paraphernalia that Roger Clemens’ trainer Brian McNamee turned over to officials. Clemens maintained he was taking ye olde vitamin B12 and the painkiller lidocaine.
—AP Men’s Basketball Poll…as we await Selection Sunday
1. UNC
2. Pitt
3. UConn
4. Memphis
5. Louisville
6. Oklahoma
7. Michigan State
8. Wake Forest
9. Duke
10. Villanova
Cleveland State earned its first NCAA tournament berth since 1986, a nice boost to this depressed city, while North Dakota State, in its first season in Division I, gained a berth by winning the Summit League championship. Go Bison!!
John Feinstein / Washington Post, on “Championship Week,” as denoted by “The Flacks at ESPN.”
“In truth, this should be called ‘Excuse Week,’ because it often feels as if everyone has an excuse for every fifth- or sixth- or eighth-place team in the ‘major conferences.’ If you watch TNTIB – The Network That Invented Basketball – you will find yourself convinced by Sunday that there are about 156 teams deserving of a bid to The Selected Sixty-Five, and that 155 of them come from the major conferences – even if there are only 73 teams in those six leagues, 57 of them from the Big East at last count.
“News flash: The Big East tournament, which seemingly began last Wednesday, is now down to 16 teams. A winner should be crowned sometime soon after the Final Four. Five rounds of a conference tournament? Does anyone remember when UCLA played four postseason games to win the national championship? Talk about March going mad.
“One of the annual rites of March, right along with the excuse making, is the major-conference coaches and their TV apologists whining that there aren’t enough bids available for those who somehow finish in the top 10 in their league. ‘You finish at .500 in this conference, you deserve a bid,’ is an oft-heard rant. Why?”
*NJIT finished 1-30. But all five starters return next year!
—AP Women’s Basketball Poll
1. UConn
2. Stanford
3. Oklahoma
4. Maryland
5. Louisville
6. Duke
7. Baylor
8. Auburn
9. Ohio State
10. Texas A&M
17. South Dakota State…gained an automatic bid in its first year as a full-fledged D-I member. What’s their nickname? The Jackrabbits! And what is it with the Dakotas!!!
[The Dakotas always warrant extra exclamation points.]
—A-Roid is rehabbing. [And that’s your A-Rod update for today.]
–Peter Vecsey / New York Post on Charles Barkley.
“Lock the windows, close the doors, Biggie Smalls, err, Charles Barkley is once again a free man. Far be it from me to suggest prison life can’t change people for the better, but I’ve seen harsher sentences on bathroom walls.
“To paraphrase (The Wire’s) Avon Barksdale: ‘You only do three days in jail…the day you go in…the next day…and the day you get out.’
“Barkley was in and out of Maricopa County’s jail so fast, the Rev. Al Sharpton didn’t have time to organize a protest….
“At an impromptu press conference within the confines of Tent City, Barkley, without help from a producer, looked into the correct camera and notified us what he told his newest best friends. ‘Being in here doesn’t define you. You made a mistake. That doesn’t make you crooks.’
“Yesterday those weighty words were engraved on the Statue of Liberty.”
–I was in New York City for a few days, quaffing adult beverages and such, and visited the New York Historical Society to catch an exhibit, “Grant & Lee: In War and Peace.” The first thing you learn is that drawing was compulsory at West Point [Where Lee finished second in his class and Grant barely got out] because back then it was helpful in describing battles for future use. They had examples of the talent of each and Grant was a helluva artist. He painted a terrific landscape of the Hudson River Valley.
It’s easy to forget just how many of the Civil War’s best generals came out of West Point. Aside from Grant and Lee, you had Stonewall Jackson, Jubal Early, Abner Doubleday, James Longstreet, and Phil Sheridan, among others. Recall that when the Civil War erupted, the total federal army was all of some 16,000 troops and as the states raised their militias, the first generals were often political appointments, mostly with disastrous results until the professionals took over.
I forgot Gen. George McClellan died in nearby Orange, N.J. Of course Abraham Lincoln enjoyed ridiculing the guy. ‘Mind if I borrow your army because you don’t seem to be using it?’ Which was the genesis of the line from Animal House, “Do you mind if we dance with your dates?” [OK…that might be a stretch, but try to disprove it.]
Actually, the exhibit had some letters from Lincoln (rare originals) and one he sent to McClellan started out, “There is a curious mystery about the number of troops now with you…” as he proceeded to question the general’s numbers. Ouch!
Of course Lincoln later loved Gen. Grant.
“I have just received your despatch (sic) of 1 p.m. yesterday. I begin to see it. You will succeed.
“God bless you all.
“A. Lincoln”
—NCAA Hockey Poll [USA TODAY]
1. Boston University
2. Notre Dame
3. Michigan
4. Northeastern
5. Denver
15. St. Lawrence…Go Trader George!
–Men’s Tennis
1. Virginia
2. Stanford
3. Mississippi
17. Wake Forest
–Women’s Tennis
1. Northwestern
2. Georgia
3. Duke
25. Long Beach State
–Women’s Ice Hockey
1. Wisconsin
2. Minnesota
3. Mercyhurst…where they chant… “Oh, mercy mercy me…Oh, things ain’t what they used to be, nah…”
–The Wall Street Journal reports that ticket brokers are charging $130 for center-ice seats to the Minnesota state high-school hockey tournament….nine times face value.
–Speaking of ticket brokers, the actions of Ticketmaster continue to be outrageous. The minute (second, really) tickets went on sale for some rare Leonard Cohen concerts in New York, the site said they were all sold and immediately referred everyone to its preferred resellers. This was supposed to be eliminated after the recent Springsteen fiasco that caused a congressional inquiry. Just shut the a-holes down!
–I’m fired up for the Doral golf tournament this weekend. Tiger, Rory…Sergio gunning for the world no. 1 ranking should he win and Tiger stumble…
—Lindsey Vonn wrapped up her second consecutive World Cup overall ski title by winning another downhill, this one at Are, Sweden. In becoming the first American woman to accomplish this feat, Lindsey won races this season in four of the five disciplines… remarkable.
–Check this out. An Australian fisherman was rescued after being caught in a cyclone for 25 hours.
“James Palmer, 20, survived mountainous swells whipped up by tropical Cyclone Hamish after first his trawler then his life-raft capsized.
“As he floundered in the water after being thrown out of the life-raft, he grabbed what he thought was a passing stick. Miraculously it turned out to be an emergency distress beacon, which would save his life.
“Switching it on, he managed to stay afloat for a day and night before Queensland rescuers, hampered by appalling weather conditions, found him 125 miles from shore.” [London Times]
Two fellow crew-members are missing, though, and presumed dead.
The water was very warm, so that wasn’t an issue, but to be able to tread for that long…and not get eaten by a shark, or a blue whale…is astounding.
—Animal Bits
A stingray caught on a recent National Geographic expedition in Thailand, reported to weigh 717 pounds, a record for a freshwater fish, was not set on a scale, leaving the record-holder a 646-pound catfish, also caught in Thailand. [I’m assuming the stingray was caught in a river to be called a freshwater ray.]
Brad K. passed along the following from Daniel Foggo / London Times.
“An exceptionally rare white deer nicknamed ‘Pearl’ has been discovered in the Scottish lowlands by a professional hunter, who is now taking bids from people who want to kill it.
“The whitecoated roebuck, which experts say is not an albino, is so unusual that only a handful have been seen in Britain since the end of the second world war.
“That the deer has now been given what amounts to a death sentence has infuriated animal lovers, who are campaigning to save its life.
“Kevin Stuart, who has the stalking rights to the 3,000-acre estate…where the wild deer lives, says he hopes to secure a four-figure sum from a trophy-seeking client to shoot it when the hunting season opens in three weeks’ time.”
Needless to say, Mr. Stuart is immediately placed in the December file for acknowledgement at year end. “Dirtball of the Year” could be in the cards. Granted, the deer population is exploding here just like everywhere else in the world, it seems, and it needs to be managed, but this particular case is outrageous.
As Brad notes, it’s as if some in Scotland are saying, “It’s different…kill it!”
So Man is really going to struggle to stay in the Top 50 of the All-Species List.
Brad K. also passed along an AP story from Bangor, Maine.
“Cross country skiers who set out on a crisp, moonlit night for a peaceful outing in Bangor’s city forest are being targeted by at least one ornery and territorial owl. Over the past three weeks, at least eight skiers and a few romping dogs apparently have fallen victim to a great horned owl that swoops down from a tree with talons outstretched and smacks them on the head.”
Three skiers have suffered small lacerations. A wildlife biologist, Charlie Todd (no relation to former Jets and Alabama quarterback Richard Todd) says the horned owl is “the boldest nocturnal raptor and the one that has the best reputation for the occasionally bizarre.”
Thank god for cable. I’m not leaving the house at night anymore.
–We note the passing of country singer Hank Locklin, 91, who at the time of his death was the oldest member of the Grand Ole Opry. Locklin had a monster hit in 1960… “Please Help Me, I’m Falling,” which was No. 1 on the country charts for 14 weeks.
–And Little Jimmy Boyd died. The 12-year-old kid who recorded “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” was 70. The tune was an instant smash and sold 2.5 million copies within weeks of its release.
–Dr. Malcolm Lloyd, a Johns Hopkins and Dartmouth-trained physician and former pharmaceutical clinical researcher, will appear on ‘Good Morning America’ this week to espouse the health benefits of daily drinking. “A lot of research shows that people who drink moderately flat-out live longer than those who don’t,” he told the New York Post’s Page Six. “From the prevention of the common cold to the prevention of the onset of Alzheimer’s to preventing certain types of cancer, regular drinking can be very beneficial.” But…after one to two drinks for women and one to three for men, “the positive effects start going in the other direction” once those numbers are exceeded.
While this goes along with other research of the past few decades, I have yet to see a study comparing the benefits of domestic vs. premium.
—Jennifer Aniston wants to be a Bond girl. Susan Daly commented in the Irish Independent.
“Any 40-year-old who says their dream is to be a piece of Bond totty must know that they are opening themselves up to ridicule. For starters, 007’s nubile companions are, on average, aged in their mid-20s.
“Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher is often proffered up as an example of the mature Bond girl – but she was actually only 33 in Tomorrow Never Dies. Hatcher later said she regretted taking the role: ‘It’s such an artificial kind of character to be playing that you don’t get any special satisfaction from it.’”
But I like Bond girls! Though now it appears Jen is pregnant, if the tabloid I read in the supermarket line is accurate.
–And finally, we note the retirement of Eddie Doyle, bartender at Boston’s Bull & Finch pub, which inspired “Cheers.” Doyle, 66, had tended bar there for 35 years and raised hundreds of thousands for charity. He became a victim of the economy. [OK, he was laid off.]
Top 3 songs for the week 3/11/67: #1 “Love Is Here And Now You’re Gone” (The Supremes) #2 “Ruby Tuesday” (The Rolling Stones) #3 “Baby I Need Your Lovin’” (Johnny Rivers)…and… #4 “Kind Of A Drag” (The Buckinghams) #5 “Penny Lane” (The Beatles) #6 “Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye” (The Casinos) #7 “Sock It To Me Baby” (Mitch Ryder and The Detroit Wheels) #8 “Happy Together” (The Turtles) #9 “My Cup Runneth Over” (Ed Ames) #10 “Dedicated To The One I Love” (The Mamas and The Papas)
ACC Career Scoring Quiz Answer: Top Ten…
1. J.J. Redick, Duke 2,769
2. Tyler Hansbrough, UNC 2,717
3. Dick Hemric, Wake Forest 2,587
4. Johnny Dawkins, Duke 2,556
5. Rodney Monroe, NC State 2,551
6. Bryant Stith, Virginia 2,516
7. Christian Laettner, Duke 2,460
8. Mike Gminski, Duke 2,323
9. Jeff Lamp, Virginia 2,317…good friend of mine stole his girlfriend…and Bob and Julie have been happy ever since.
10. David Thompson, NC State 2,309
All-ACC 1st Team / 2009
Tyler Hansbrough
Toney Douglas, Florida State
Ty Lawson, UNC…player of the year
Gerald Henderson, Duke
Jack McClinton, Miami
And to my Wake buddies…Billy Ard, ex-Deac, ex-Giant, is one proud father as his boy, a high school senior, won his second straight state wrestling title here in New Jersey, a very rare feat. Brendan Ard is going to Wisconsin to pursue the sport. [Though you have to worry about wrestling’s future, given the state of the economy and the pressure on athletic departments to slash their budgets. Sports like swimming and wrestling have already been under the gun…but I digress…]
Next Bar Chat, Monday. Frank Howard!…as we gear up for baseball. [By the way, sorry, but I just can’t get into the World Baseball Classic.]
