The King of Pop

Baseball Quiz: Name the five A.L. hurlers to throw a perfect game since 1980. Answer below. 

Michael Jackson…Top Tens 

**My own three favorites. And oh does 1979’s “Rock With You” bring back memories from senior year at Wake Forest. [Sad ending.] 

Jackson won 13 Grammy Awards, had record sales of 750 million (and who knows how many tens of millions more will be sold in just the next year, given the phenomenal rush of the past few days), as well as the biggest-selling album in history, “Thriller” (responsible for 8 of the Grammys).  

In the end, it’s all about Michael Jackson’s music, and the incredible dancing (a combination of James Brown, Fred Astaire and the Nicholas Brothers, as a CBS “Sunday Morning” segment put it). Elizabeth Taylor gave him the title the “King of Pop” and he earned it. He was truly a trailblazer, a pioneer. If you could pick only five acts, solo or as a group, that are truly iconic, in not just churning out hits but everything else that surrounded them, it would be hard to argue with my top five…Elvis, the Beatles, the Stones, Michael Jackson and Bruce Springsteen. Which of the five, however, is the only one to truly cross over between black and white? Jackson. [I’ve been to two Springsteen concerts, for example, and I could count the number of blacks in the audience on one hand. And if you attended a picnic in Newark, as I have, the kids aren’t sitting around listening to the Stones, let alone the Beatles.] 

But before I continue, I’ll have something about the other side of Jackson in my next chat, Thursday, owing to a terrific source I have that isn’t being quoted among all the tributes you’ve seen.  I do have to admit I’ve been harsh in the past just like everyone else. As recently as this past April I commented how uncomfortable it must have been to be the one to perform the physical on Jackson as part of the preparations for his London series of concerts. For now, though, I believe in not speaking ill of the dead…at least in this first week. 

For example, I read in the New York Post that Jimmy Kimmel, the day of Jackson’s death, cracked a joke about him and “When the audience didn’t laugh, Kimmel asked, ‘Is it too soon? I can never tell.’” 

And there is that sickening sleazeball, Perez Hilton, whose popularity I will never understand. Commenting on the reports that Jackson had been rushed to the hospital, Hilton wrote on his blog, “Heart attack or cold feet? We knew something like this would happen!…We are dubious. Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his HBO special in ’95 when he ‘collapsed’ at rehearsal.” 

Perez then deleted his doubts when word of Jackson’s death was announced, which in the Net game is a cardinal sin in my book. [Another reason why I’ve always treated my own site as an online magazine, not a blog. Magazine content can’t be just simply expunged.] 

Then, the Post reports, there was New York Times reporter Alessandra Stanley, who upon the passing of Farrah Fawcett, decided to “appraise” her work. 

“Not all of her performances will stand the test of time, but what is worth remembering is how hard Farrah Fawcett tried.” Later, “She really tried. And for a sex symbol that alone can be like an accomplishment.” 

I met Ms. Stanley at the Vatican back in Feb. 2001, when I was a guest of the late Cardinal Avery Dulles and the New York City province of the Jesuits, and she began to interview me as to why I was there, Stanley covering the Vatican for the Times back then (I think she still does). When she asked what I did and I told her, she gave me a look of disgust and closed her notebook. I know something about her past and let’s just say this woman has earned the title many accord her. It’s not a compliment. 

So back to Jackson. Among the many amazing facts is the one that the Jackson 5 won amateur night at the Apollo 40 years ago, when Michael was 9. Said one who was in attendance then, Georgia Weekes, “It was a sold-out show and he had this big Afro. You just knew he was going to be a star.” Another there that evening, Khali Mustafa, said, “I remember the choreography, they were so precise. Then the intonation of his voice, he was so unique.” 

It’s startling to look at Jackson’s reach around the world. The health minister in Japan, for example, issued a formal statement. “He was a superstar. It is an extremely tragic loss. But it is fantastic he was able to give so many dreams and so much hope to the people of the world. 

Nelson Mandela said his loss would be felt worldwide. French First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy offered, “I don’t think anyone can be indifferent to Michael Jackson, my husband included. I will enormously miss his voice, his songs and his presence in our world.” 

Former South Korean president Kim Dae-jung: “The world has lost a hero. And Korea has lost a beloved friend, who showed continued interest and supported unification of the Korean peninsula. Korean people are sad. I am especially shocked for having lost a friend, with who I have shared friendship.” 

Paul McCartney: “I feel privileged to have hung out and worked with Michael. He was a massively talented boy-man with a gentle soul.” 

Berry Gordy: “He was exceptional, artistic and original. He gave the world his heart and soul through his music…(He) was like my son. He had warmth, sensitivity and two personalities. When he was on stage, he was so in charge you would not believe he was the same person.” 

Quincy Jones, who produced “Off the Wall,” “Thriller,” and “Bad,” said, “He was the consummate entertainer and his contributions and legacy will be felt upon the world forever.” [What an incredible figure Quincy is as well. You talk about a giant.] 

Wil Haygood / Washington Post 

“In 1972, when the movie ‘Ben’ premiered and sent that falsetto voice of little Michael Jackson soaring across movie screens, the joy inside black America was palpable. It wasn’t just that the song raced to No. 1 on the charts, it was that it flowed from the magic of film. And black America, long kept away from mainstream movies, kept a close eye on – and a keen interest in – the world of Tinseltown. 

“Little Michael had come upon this particular movie only 18 years after the collapse of legal segregation in the United States. And many of the movie houses that showed ‘Ben’ had once been theaters where blacks could not gain admittance. In urban America, the reality of the times had hardly gone unnoticed. The ‘60s may have been over, but the battles it took to shape them still hung in the air. 

“In the ‘70s, groups of middle-aged black Americans could still reminisce about the chitlin circuit and the world of vaudeville, two popular venues for gifted black performers. Maybe they had seen Moms Mabley out there on the circuit; maybe they had seen Redd Foxx in some pungent-smelling juke joint in Atlantic City…. 

“Before politics took a more defiant tone…it was music that black America offered to mainstream society as a kind of plea for acceptance…. 

“Still, the only black musicians to have made a mark on the soundtracks of mainstream movies in the 1960s were Quincy Jones and Duke Ellington. 

“Little Michael landed upon the mindset of film-hungry black America when its citizenry was starved for identity on the big screen. 

“He was but a 14-year-old child in 1972, and black mothers and aunts and big sisters in the ghettos of the nation seemed to pull that child to their bosoms. He was a little brother; he was a precious boy; he was like the prodigy in your own church. There he was on ‘American Bandstand’ and on ‘Soul Train.’ The early ‘70s actually represented some beautiful times in America – freedom rising, integration building and little Michael singing on the hand-held radio. Little Michael with the prettiest and fluffiest Afro in the land. 

“Throughout the years, he claimed covers of Ebony and Jet magazines. And even when his life had begun to take on tawdry dimensions, black America refused to abandon him. It was as if they knew the pain that had greeted so many child performers, black or white. 

“The famed pianist and singer Bobby Short had been a child performer. ‘One day when you’re in show business and are a child, something clicks and you realize what you do is important to a lot of adults around you,’ Short once said. ‘You are emboldened, and your childhood is over. It’s not a happy circumstance. If you don’t go on, you’re going to hurt a lot of people.’ 

“There were those in America, especially in black America, who imagined linkages between Sammy Davis Jr. – himself a onetime vaudeville performer – and Michael Jackson. Both had seemed eternally childlike. Both had a love affair with ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home. 

“How many black hepcats in barbershops talked of Michael’s private jetting around the globe? That was economic power! How many women in hair salons in South Central L.A. wondered: Who does his hair? 

“It seemed as if he could snap his finger and make things happen, make animals appear in his back yard. The Wizard of Odd, yes, but in black America, Michael was a pioneer. Michael was a kid, and allowances must be made for kids. 

“And, of course, there was that skin dynamic. His complexion went from a beautiful and sweet nutmeg brown to an alabaster white. The tabloids might have gone into a spasm, but that wasn’t quite the reaction in black America. To be sure, there were cackles, but more often than not, sympathy. Leave Michael alone became a popular refrain in the black community. Just leave him alone. 

“Black America always considered Michael Jackson, his voice shooting out over them, to be at home among them. He’d be at one of those NAACP Image Awards shows, and he’d be standing among folk who had watched him grow up. He accepted the joyful tears of the old and young and moved into their hearts.” 

When I first read the above, it really struck a chord. I realized that in my experiences with my friends in Newark, forgiveness is paramount. Too much so, in my opinion, but for me to elaborate would bring into play some of the major social issues of our time, and it’s for another time and place. Nevertheless, in some respects there is also a certain sweetness to it. 

If you only get one video with Jackson on it, by the way, make it “Motown 25: Yesterday, Today and Forever.” This was the seminal moment in 1983, when 47 million people watched as Jackson unveiled the moonwalk. [The rest of the show was terrific as well.] 

“Jackson stood alone in the spotlight, a singular figure riding a wave of popularity rarely seen anywhere. His groundbreaking ‘Thriller’ – still the biggest selling album of all time – was dominating the charts and Jackson was in the process of reshaping the musical landscape with his videos and celebrity…. 

“It was also before years of tabloid exposes, bizarre behavior, artistic flops, financial crises, health issues and child sex abuse scandals tarnished his image…. 

“But despite all of his peccadilloes, Jackson remains a revered figure to those in the record industry. A broad range of pop artists, such as Jay-Z, Kanye West, Akon, Britney Spears, Usher, Justin Timberlake, R. Kelly, Chris Brown, baby sister Janet, and dozens of others cite his influence on their music and even their desire to be entertainers. 

“Will.i.am, who this year produced three remixes on the celebratory reissue of ‘Thriller 25,’ explained: ‘It was the first time a black dude was on MTV. It was the first time you saw things that were happening in the ghettos and kids in the suburbs were copying it. It was like Broadway fused with street performance and his wardrobe was fly. He made it possible to be yourself and be free and just do you.’…. 

“Whether he was wowing fans as a singing/dancing machine, turning heads with his outlandish wardrobes, or alternately amusing or horrifying everyone with his kooky behavior, Jackson could never, would never be ignored. 

Speaking of MTV, personally, I never watch the channel because I don’t want my memories of a tune being a video…but that’s just me. I certainly did see enough of MTV’s early days, however, and if you’ll recall it was nothing but Police videos. Then Jackson came along. What I forgot is that MTV played the ‘Thriller’ video every hour on the hour. The ratings were huge. Did he save MTV? No, MTV would easily have survived…but he made MTV. 

And just a note on his finances. The stories are about the debt he piled up and his outlandish spending sprees are legend, but an editorial in the London Times summed it up best. 

“Sure, he spent his money like a 12-year-old with an Amex card in Hamleys, but in earning that cash mountain, generations of record company executives will attest that he was something of a boardroom shark, with a meticulous eye for balance-sheet detail and a merciless way of dealing with incompetence or fiscal treachery.” 

And it’s amazing that upon the announcement of the series of concerts at the O2 arena in London, within hours…hours…one million fans had attempted to snap up tickets for an initial run of 10 concerts, then expanded to 50. Jackson himself, though, is reported to have said to the promoters that events were spiraling out of control. “I don’t know how I’m going to do 50 shows. I’m really angry.” [London Times] 

I was struck by the pictures of Jackson’s home in Gary, Indiana, and how it is almost identical to Elvis’ birthplace in Tupelo, Miss., which I went to a few years ago. Haven’t seen anyone else draw that comparison. 

I also happened upon a terrific interview with Deepak Chopra on Wolf Blitzer’s show, Friday. I’m sure it’s on the CNN site somewhere and it’s worth checking out. I can’t say I ever gave a darn about Deepak, but I respect him now. Or at least I can begin to understand why in some circles he is as big as he is. [Blitzer is funny. He has to be the most uncool person in the world (though he’s a man of substance). After commercials there would be a Jackson tune and video and Wolf would go, “Let’s listen.”] 

And not for nothing, but Jackson’s death is a huge shot in the arm for the Motown Museum in Detroit, which I was planning on visiting this fall anyway. I called the museum about a month ago to double check things like hours and showing up as a single (it’s a very small place) and I gathered from the guy I was talking to that very few people went there, though I hear it’s great. At least now its finances should be secure.  

Born on Feb. 2, 1947, Corpus Christi, Texas, Mary Farrah Leni Fawcett started as an art major at the University of Texas in Austin and began modeling for a clothing store. She was voted one of the 10 most beautiful women on campus, a helluva achievement, considering there are about 2,000 that could qualify there. 

She met immediate success as a model for products such as Ultra Brite toothpaste and Wella Balsam shampoo, and Farrah then earned guest shots on television shows such as “I Dream of Jeannie” and “The Partridge Family,” as well as flicks including “Logan’s Run” (ooh baby…Jenny Agutter…pssst, my brother is a huge fan of hers). 

Then came the almost simultaneous launching of two events…The Poster…and “Charlie’s Angels,” the latter leading to the nickname “Jiggle TV.” 

The poster, which was as much about her hair as Farrah’s body parts, sold five million copies within six months, and would go on to sell an estimated 12 million, outstripping previous sex symbols such as Betty Grable and Marilyn Monroe. As a radio host, Mike O’Meara, told the Baltimore Sun in 2006, “You were a real man if you had her poster.” Women, on the other hand, flocked to their hairdressers and asked for The Look. 

But at the height of her stardom, with the ratings for “Charlie’s Angels” soaring, Farrah opted out of her contract after just one year, which led to a fight with the studio and a settlement that called for her making six guest shots over succeeding seasons. 

Her career wasn’t really the same after that, with one or two exceptions, and, let’s face it, like in the case of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett had her share of kooky moments (and bouts of cosmetic surgery), but I think the New York Daily News’ David Hinckley summed up the essence of Farrah best. 

“Farrah Fawcett turned out to be a whole lot more than The Poster and the hair. 

“But for almost anyone who was young in the 1970s, The Poster and the hair may be what endures the longest – Fawcett in a one-piece red bathing suit, looking over her right shoulder at the camera with piles of blondish hair framing blue eyes and a double-scoop smile. 

“She was an All-American Girl at a time when a country clawed bloody by scandal and war really needed one, and The Farrah Fawcett Poster became to late 20th century America what Betty Grable was to GIs in World War II. 

“Half the boys in the country had it on the wall and the other half didn’t need to, because they’d memorized it.” 

Farrah had her share of good roles, but finally they ran out, “and Fawcett took other paths. She posed for Playboy. Her June 1997 appearance on David Letterman’s show made headlines for the rambling, disjointed comments she always insisted were part of an elaborate gag. 

“She did some ‘reality’ TV later, finally documenting the disease that killed her. 

“In the end she left a poster that cheered up a nation and a career that proves persistence and sheer hard work can get you a second chance. 

–This was a shocker…TV pitchman Billy Mays died on Saturday night at home. He was 50. “Tampa police said Mays was found unresponsive by his wife Sunday morning.” 

Mays had complained of being hit on the head during a rough landing on a US Airways flight Saturday afternoon at Tampa International Airport, which left debris on the runway after apparently blowing its front tires. 

Tampa Bay’s Fox television affiliate interviewed Mays after the incident. 

“All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping. It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head.” 

While of course officials Sunday said any link to the landing would “purely be speculation,” you’d have to be an idiot not to know what happened.   This occurs all the time, unfortunately. Aside from the fact he was due for a hip replacement, Mays was said to be in good health.  

The promoter of products like Orange Glo, Kaboom and OxiClean, Mays was born in McKees Rock, Pa., where he also met his wife. What a bummer. More on him in “Week in Review.” 

–And I have to note the tragic death of Parkersburg, Iowa, high school football coach Ed Thomas; gunned down by a former player who was to have gone to a psychiatric ward days later. Thankfully, Mark Becker didn’t threaten any of the students in the weight room who were participating in an offseason workout when he entered to confront Thomas. 

Thomas was named the NFL’s 2005 high school coach of the year and amassed a 292-84 record and two state titles in 37 seasons as a head coach – 34 of them at Aplington-Parkersburg. Four of his players went on to the NFL. From all you read, this was a special, lovely man who was both a terrific leader and educator. 

What’s doubly sad for the community, though, is this is the same town that just a year ago was devastated by a tornado that killed six and destroyed both the high school and football field; an event I’m sure most of you remember from the television pictures.  

–Talk about a stunner…in one of the great victories of all time for U.S. soccer, the Americans defeated mighty Spain, 2-0. As AP sports writer Raf Casert wrote, “Call it a miracle on grass.” In advancing to the title game of the Confederations Cup, it is the first U.S. men’s FIFA final since starting play in 1916. Just a few days earlier, the team faced elimination and an impossible set of circumstances to advance…but advance they did. Needing to defeat African champ Egypt by three goals, while having Brazil beat Italy by three, that’s exactly what happened. As for Spain, the European champion, it had set an international record with 15 straight victories and had tied Brazil’s record unbeaten streak of 35 games. 

Alas, on Sunday, in the final, the U.S. built a 2-0 lead but Brazil scored the next three to take the title. Now it’s on to the World Cup. 

—NBA Draft thoughts. Johnny Mac and I were astounded Arizona State’s James Harden was selected third by Oklahoma City. Just a horrible pick. Stephen Curry, on the other hand, went No. 7 to Golden State, thus shattering the dreams of Knicks fans, who with the next pick took Jordan Hill of Arizona. [Johnny and I disagree on Hill. I say he’s solid. Johnny says he’s a bust.] I also think the Knicks got a steal with Toney Douglas, the guard from Florida State. 

Other thoughts. I think Louisville’s Terrence Williams, selected No. 11 by the Nets, is a future star. 

I’m rooting big time for Tyler Hansbrough, No. 13 by Indiana, to prove his detractors wrong…and I think he will. 

And the two Wake Forest selections, James Johnson (No. 16) and Jeff Teague (No. 19) went where they should, but I’m not going to really care how they pan out. 

But here’s the bottom line…the San Antonio Spurs are your 2010 NBA champs. You talk about a lock. It’s over, kids. O-VER!

First, the Spurs obtain Richard Jefferson, a 20-point, athletic scorer to go along with a still All-Star quality Tim Duncan, one of the three best guards in the game, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobili. Four guys who can take charge of a game. No other team in the league has this; at least at this level. 

But to this the Spurs, not drafting until No. 37, nonetheless get Pitt’s rebounding machine, DeJuan Blair, who as Johnny Mac said can fill the role once held by Malik Rose, who’d come in for 12-15 minutes and control the glass. But then I’m looking at what San Antonio got with the 51st pick…Miami shooting guard Jack McClinton. The guy’s a stud. And just like in baseball where you can never have enough pitching…in basketball, especially once we hit the 3-point era, you can never have enough outside shooting. 

So, assuming the Spurs have three of their big four healthy for the bulk of the year, I’m marking ‘em down for 67-15, minimum. They then won’t lose more than two games the entire playoffs. It’s the Bar Chat Guarantee! 

One last tidbit on the draft, Ricky Rubio’s father is a jerk. 

–Shaq is not going to help Cleveland and LeBron win an NBA title…because I just told you who the real winner will be. [The editor is getting very smug, he would agree.] 

–Congratulations to LSU for winning its sixth College World Series title, all since 1991, but first since 2000, as it defeated Texas, itself a six-time winner. 

The Mets were outscored by the Yankees 33-3 in their last four contests. Friday and Saturday, they collected four hits, combined; the worst performance for them since 1967.  [8 hits in the last three games.]

In Sunday\’s Mets-Yanks contest, Mariano Rivera became the second to record 500 saves.  Trevor Hoffman is first on the list at 571.

Only 26 current major league players and managers, out of 1,042, have college degrees, according to the Wall Street Journal. 

The Daily News’ Mike Lupica on Players Association head Donald Fehr, who announced his retirement the other day. 

“More than anything, the true and lasting legacy for Donald Fehr is this: 

“He was more interested in protecting the rights of the guilty when it came to drugs in baseball than he was in protecting the rights of the innocent. 

“That doesn’t make him a great union leader, it makes him negligent. 

“But somehow Fehr wants his story written this way, that he wanted drug testing in baseball as much as Bud Selig did. That isn’t just a distortion, it’s a fantasy, and he knows it. The way Fehr knows he and Gene Orza (who gets passed over now as Fehr’s successor) gave into real drug testing only as a last resort.” 

—Rachel Alexandra, in an embarrassing field that contained all of three horses, nonetheless proved herself yet again in winning the Mother Goose Stakes at Belmont Park, Saturday, by 19 lengths. Calvin Borel, back with the filly after their Preakness triumph, said, “I’m telling you, she’s unbelievable.” In case you’re wondering about the wagering, two horses had pulled out and there was no place or show betting. R.A. went off at 1-9 and paid $2.10. In a nice touch, co-owner Jess Jackson announced he would give a percentage of the filly’s future earnings to the Susan G. Komen Foundation’s Race for the Cure and women were allowed in for free. Next up? New Jerseyans are praying it’s the Haskell at Monmouth Park on Aug. 2, but it’s looking like the Travers Stakes in Saratoga on Aug. 29. [The Delaware Handicap on July 19 is another possibility.] 

–Interesting comment by Michael Bamberger, Sports Illustrated, on the U.S. Open. at Bethpage. 

“It’s not a coincidence that Tiger Woods is one of the greatest USGA champions of all time, with three junior titles, three amateur titles and three U.S. Open titles attached to his name. Last week, with all the starting and stopping, with mud on his ball, with the hard luck of drawing an early Thursday tee time, did you hear Tiger utter a single complaint? Nope. Earl and Tida raised a man, and the USGA is a bastion of manly golf.” 

Yes, looking back, despite the Thursday ticket refund flap, the USGA did do a masterly job of handling a colossal mess. Look at the last round, for example. 

“It takes confidence to send off the final twosome in the final round of a U.S. Open at 7:55 on a gloomy Sunday night, but that’s what they did. At any point last week the players could have revolted and tested the USGA’s authority. But they didn’t.” 

[Dan Jenkins, in a Tweet from Bethpage… “The first round is over. I’ve seen shorter NBA seasons.”] 

–After his collapse at Augusta in April, Kenny Perry hadn’t had a top twenty on the PGA Tour. But he came through Sunday with his 14th career victory at The Travelers in Hartford. 

–19-year-old Joey Lagano became the youngest driver to win a NASCAR Sprint Cup series race in taking the rain-shortened affair at New Hampshire Motor Speedway.

–The following material is rated ‘R’. Kids, you must switch to a different site. I’m sorry to do this to you, but come back later in the week. 

“Jackie Onassis Seduced Marlon Brando” 

In a new book, author C. David Heymann obtained passages from Brando’s account of how he hooked up with Jackie O. in 1964. “They were in the first draft of the Oscar winner’s 1994 memoir…until an editor friend of Jackie (by then also the widow of Aristotle Onassis) at Random House insisted they be cut, Heymann writes.” 

“The first time, ‘according to Brando, [their] three-hour meal included a good deal of drinking…Jackie and the actor danced and drank. During their dance, Jackie, deeply attracted to Brando, ‘pressed her thighs’ suggestively into his…” 

Oops, this is a bit much for even yours truly. Anyway, suffice it to say they, err, you know. 

Well, here’s another from the Post. In his upcoming memoir, “We’ll Be Here for the Rest of Our Lives,” Paul Shaffer writes of “Sweet Connie,” Connie Hamzy, a famous rock groupie who was immortalized in the Grand Funk Railroad hit, “We’re an American Band.”* 

“Tradition dictated that she first work her way through the crew. If her technique won their approval, she would be given entrée to the band.” 

One night she knocked on the hotel door of Shaffer who was touring with Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi’s Blues Brothers act. 

“I walked back to the mini-bar to fix her drink, and by the time I turned around, she had slipped out of all her clothes except her high heels and stockings and had spread herself across my bed like a Playboy centerfold. ‘Praise God!’ was the one thought that came to mind,” Shaffer writes. “I was so surprised, so delighted, that I spilled my vodka tonic.” 

Well, Shaffer was told by Connie not to worry about it, “Just get into bed.” Shaffer then writes, “I did as I was told. I soon saw that I was dealing with a master craftswoman. Her attention to detail was exceptional.” 

This is the same Connie Hamzy who later said she was once propositioned by Bill Clinton, then Arkansas governor, through a state trooper. Well I’ll be. 

–SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. (AP) – “Authorities said a couple got into a fight using Cheetos. The Bedford County Sheriff’s Department said a 40-year-old man and 44-year-old woman became involved in a ‘verbal altercation.’ Somehow, the orange puffy snacks were used in the assault. Deputies said they were charged with domestic assault. No one was hurt. Both posted bond of $2,500.” I hope they washed their hands before they appeared before the judge. 

–OSWEGATCHIE, N.Y. (AP) – “A wild turkey landed inside the cab of a manure-hauling tractor trailer, startling the driver and sending the truck rolling into a ditch off a northern New York road. State police said Scott Fisher, 38, was traveling in St. Lawrence County near the Canadian border when the turkey flew in through an open window. 

“As Fisher tried to shoo the bird out of the cab, the truck ran off the road and hit several fence posts and a utility pole before rolling onto its side in a ditch.” 

As Brad K. notes, he having passed along this story, no one is safe these days, “even our nation’s respected manure drivers. And are we suspect of the event occurring near the Canadian border?” It makes one wonder, that’s for sure. 

–Here’s a good one. Back in the early 1960s, peregrine falcons were completely wiped out east of the Mississippi River because of the pesticide DDT. But the falcons have made such a huge recovery, a number of them have been spotted in New York City, with the bridges offering terrific nesting sites, falcons insisting on the highest spot to make a home. But this week the Star-Ledger reported peregrine falcons are nesting in the bridges near the Meadowlands as well. I’m hoping the Jets are taking note. There has to be a use for them. 

–Speaking of birds, there was a terrific segment on CBS’ “Sunday Morning” two weekends ago I forgot to pass on. It concerns parrots, as in those who decide to have one as a pet have no freakin’ clue what they are getting in to, and thus there is a real problem with some folks abandoning them (which is how a colony in New Jersey has taken hold, believe it or not…they nest in power station transformers, a real problem, but it allows them to survive the winter). So parrot shelters have sprung up. 

Here’s the deal. People don’t understand that parrots, unlike, say, a dog, demand attention 24/7, literally. They have to be around you constantly… and if they aren’t allowed to, they let you know it in a rather irritating fashion. [My next door neighbor has an African Grey that will outlive her, but thankfully the bird is well-behaved.] 

Anyway, this one parrot owner had perhaps the best description of the birds, or any animal, I’ve ever heard. In talking about how there is no “alone time” for the owner, and how parrots bite the hand that feeds them, constantly…. 

“To be the owner of one is like having a 3-year-old child with a can opener on its face.” 

–Uh oh. From the Star-Ledger. Dateline Morris Township (ten minutes from here). 

“A 17-year-old driver stopped her car to rescue a turtle from the road, then panicked when it crawled on her leg, causing the car to veer into a tree, police said…. 

“The driver, in a frantic attempt to throw the turtle out the window, lost control of her vehicle and crashed into a tree.” 

Thankfully, she suffered only minor injuries “and was issued a summons for careless driving. The turtle appeared to be uninjured.” The poor turtle was just trying to thank the girl, no doubt. 

–Sports Illustrated’s “Sign of the Apocalypse”: “A substitute gym teacher in New York was arrested for allegedly putting a 10-year-old in a choke hold after the two had a dispute about a dodgeball game.” 

–SI’s “They Said It”…Cubs manager Lou Piniella, on criticism that he was too mellow during a recent losing streak: “What do I need to show fire for? I’m not a dragon.” 

–For those of you who know sports radio host Mike Francesa, he’s known to be your basic blowhard. As in total blowhard. So when the Michael Jackson news hit, I happened to be in my car, giving Francesa the 5-10 minutes I normally accord him on my drive home, when he starts talking about Jackson’s career and the particulars. “He’s how old? 40, maybe 41….” Ah right, Mike, I mused. That would make him like two, max, when the Jackson 5 first burst on the scene. 

–So I’m reading this story on Chicago in the New York Times travel section, about places “to go to get a pint, or two,” and I see one is Goose Island, which has two brewpubs. Offering a brewery tour at the Clybourn location on Sundays; “$5 buys you six beers and a souvenir glass.” 

SIX BEERS FOR $5? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 

–Goodness gracious…Megan Fox took in over $200 million in five days for the opening of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” 

–Nice bit from the New York Post: “Faith Hill and Tim McGraw know how to keep a low profile. Unlike celebrities who insist entire stores and museums shut down for them, the country music couple waited in the line just like everybody else at the opening of the new Titanic exhibition at Discovery Times Square the other day. ‘They came at 2 p.m. with their three daughters and waited in line for about 15 minutes. They didn’t want to take photos with fans, but Faith was very dressed down and they were so nice,’ said the Post’s spy.” 

–So I’m looking at the latest Billboard Top 40 Albums chart and I see the No. 4 entry is from Chickenfoot, with a record of the same name. Who the heck are they? I asked myself, thinking I was kind of up (emphasize ‘kind of’) on the latest acts. 

Turns out Chickenfoot is a supergroup comprised of Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony, Joe Satriani and Chad Smith. Huh. Might have to pick it up. [The Black-Eyed Peas’ “The E.N.D.” is No. 1….though now we wait to see how the Michael Jackson sales impact the list. Wonder how Billboard is handling this?] 

Top 3 songs for the week 6/29/74: #1 “Sundown” (Gordon Lightfoot) #2 “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero” (Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods…had been #1 previous two weeks) #3 “You Make Me Feel Brand New” (The Stylistics)…and…#4 “Be Thankful For What You Got” (William DeVaughn…whaddya know…the song I discussed just a few weeks ago) #5 “If You Love Me (Let Me Know)” (Olivia Newton-John) #6 “Rock The Boat” (The Hues Corporation) #7 “Hollywood Swinging” (Kool & The Gang) #8 “Band On The Run” (Paul McCartney & Wings) #9 “Rock Your Baby” (George McCrae) #10 “Annie’s Song” (John Denver)

*I did catch a lot of the BET Awards last night…just dreadful, especially Jamie Foxx.  The guy is so talented, but just an out-and-out racist.

Baseball Quiz Answer: Five A.L. pitchers to throw a perfect game since 1980… 

*Jim Bunning’s perfect game in the N.L., 6/21/64 (Father’s Day), against the Mets while hurling for Philadelphia, was the first in the N.L. since 1880, which is incredible.