NFL Quiz: What are the top three season rushing performances for an NFL running back who was at least 30 years old? [All three post-1970] Answer below.
Oregon vs. Auburn
It was too much to expect Oregon State or South Carolina to put up much of a fight in their contests on Saturday, as Oregon won its Civil War with the Beavers, 37-20, and Auburn blitzed the Gamecocks, 56-17. The Ducks didn’t play particularly well, but the Tigers rode a spectacular performance by your Heisman Trophy winner, quarterback Cam Newton. Newton passed for four touchdowns and ran for another two, thus becoming only the second QB in NCAA history to both rush and pass for 20 scores in a season, the other being Tim Tebow. It was just that some of Newton’s throws were unreal. To use Johnny Miller’s favorite word from his golf telecasts, Newton’s throws were so “pure.”
So we have what could be a super title matchup…highly entertaining, at least. I just wish it was sooner than Jan. 10! I loved when college football ended on New Year’s Day.
You can also be sure, though, that I’ll be pulling out all my Duckwear for the big game, including the track, cross-country and Steve Prefontaine shirts. In fact, unless you went to Auburn yourself, everyone in America should be rooting for Oregon. There is something very wrong about the whole Cam Newton situation, especially the way the NCAA has been handling it these past few weeks. At this point, yes, Newton should play. But should he have after about mid-season once we began to learn of the recruiting scandal involving his father? Boy, I’m afraid we’ve yet to learn a lot of real dirty stuff. It’s one thing if the NCAA decides to take away Newton’s Heisman down the road. It will be quite another if the evidence is so overwhelming that the son may have known of the father’s actions that, say, in 2012 Auburn is forced to vacate a title should it win. Who really knows where this is all going? Some opinion.
“Auburn coach Gene Chizik paused during a press conference celebrating the greatest achievement of his professional career Saturday night to warn reporters to limit their questions only to football.
“Moments later, Tigers quarterback Cam Newton…unfolded a sheet of paper and began to read.
“ ‘All right,’ Newton began. ‘I want to thank my teammates, my family, my coaches, and my Auburn family for their support. It means a lot to me to be on this team and be a part of the Auburn family. As I said before, I’ve done nothing wrong.
“ ‘I’m only going to answer questions about football in this game. So I ask that you please respect that, and thank you so much.’
“We’d love to talk only about football. We’d love to discuss a BCS title game matchup that could conceivably cause the scoreboard to explode at University of Phoenix Stadium on Jan. 10….
“But when the presumptive Heisman Trophy winner begins a press conference by reading from a prepared statement which asks that questions be limited only to football, football clearly isn’t the lead story.
“Put aside your school allegiance and consider this objectively for a moment. Imagine someone had come to you in July and told you the following things would happen.
“It would be alleged that the best player in college football was offered to a school – not the one with which he signed – by his own father for a six-figure sum.
“A subsequent NCAA investigation would determine those allegations to be true.
“Because the NCAA could find no evidence that the player knew about the scheme, the player didn’t miss a single game and his team went 13-0 and reached the BCS title game. Still, the player’s reputation was smeared terribly in the process, and his father’s access to the team was restricted.
“Given those facts, your next question probably wouldn’t be about how the player performed on third-and-short. You’d want to know one or more of the following things:
“Was the player angry with his father for risking his reputation for a payday?
“How did the player mentally handle being the target of scandalous headlines?
On the NCAA’s ruling on Wednesday that Newton was eligible to play despite his father’s using a third party to solicit money from Mississippi State “as part of a pay-for-play scenario,” Michigan State basketball coach Tom Izzo said, “Man, is it going to open a Pandora’s box…Now you can go shop someone and see what you can get for them and then make a decision.”
Retired sneaker czar Sonny Vaccaro said, “The NCAA just gave cover to every middle man in the country. The kids never know. In all my years, I’ve never heard of a kid being involved in the negotiation. You think they ask? Of course not. Their mom asks. Their coach asks. Their cousin asks. This is crazy.”
“The NCAA just ruled that as long as the player denies he knew anything about being shopped around – even by someone as close as his own father – then there is no penalty. And let’s not give any credit to the NCAA banning Cecil Newton [Cam’s father] from associating with Mississippi State (why would he anyway?) and allowing just ‘limited’ association with Auburn, a school they’ll leave in the tail lights one minute after his son’s final game. That’s the biggest non-penalty penalty of all time.
“At this point, why wouldn’t the parent of every recruit in America ask about getting paid? What’s the harm, right? Just do it behind your son’s back – or at least pretend. You might as well see what’s out there, even if it’s just for the fun of it.
“The NCAA has taken one of its better deterrents – a rule that clearly stated no one representing an athlete can even solicit extra benefits – and all but reversed it. They’ve essentially said that you’d be a fool for not soliciting….
“It’s not like the punishment had to be crippling. There had to be some punishment though.
“Instead, Cam’s in the clear. The precedent is set on the recruiting trail. And the public’s image of college sports being out-of-control dirty is beautifully reinforced.”
And…the AP Poll
1. Auburn 1473 votes
2. Oregon 1462
3. TCU 1379
4. Wisconsin 1289
5. Stanford 1283
6. Ohio State 1179
7. Michigan State 1121
8. Arkansas
9. Oklahoma
10. Boise State
12. Virginia Tech
13. Nevada
24. Hawaii
25. UConn
1. Auburn .9866
2. Oregon .9720
3. TCU .9102
4. Stanford .8365
5. Wisconsin .8041
6. Ohio State .7660
7. Oklahoma
8. Arkansas
9. Michigan State
10. LSU
11. Boise State
13. Virginia Tech
15. Nevada
24. Hawaii
25. UCF…Central Florida!
Rose Bowl…Wisconsin-TCU…great matchup…I’m psyched for this one
Fiesta Bowl…Oklahoma-UConn…suddenly very intriguing…David vs. Goliath…and it’s New Year’s Day following the Rose Bowl so I’ll still be up for college football
Sugar Bowl…Arkansas vs. Ohio State…doesn’t interest me in the least, though I kind of like Arkansas
Orange Bowl…Virginia Tech vs. Stanford…big game for ACC more so than Stanford
Next Chat I’ll give you your EXCLUSIVE TV picks for the rest of the bowls. [As in I’ll pick out two of the other 30 or so worth watching.]
Fantastic game on Saturday night, at least the finish, with UConn getting its BCS bid as it defeated South Florida, the school with the awesome cheerleaders. You know what? I’m no longer upset about this one and the pathetic Big East. What the hell. No one outside Winston-Salem wanted Wake Forest in the Orange Bowl a few years back either, but we did what we had to do to get there. Rules are rules. And for UConn to win it on a 52-yard field goal only shows you once again just how pitiful Boise State’s ending was against Nevada.
Speaking of Boise, I read a slew of articles Sunday following their regular season finale 50-14 win at home against Utah State. All expressed the same feeling…deep depression. Thousands of empty seats…most who did go went home early. Senior Day introductions were met by polite applause, if that.
And…in all the articles the only mention of kicker Kyle Brotzman was that he missed a field goal attempt. Boy, this community will not get over Brotzman’s misses in the Nevada game, ever.
A few other tidbits…Rutgers coach Greg Schiano, for all the hype, including their breakthrough 11-2 in 2006, is just 59-63 in 10 years and is 24-45 in Big East play. Yikes. Over the course of their dismal 2010 season of 4-8, the Scarlet Knights also gave up what is believed to be a modern-day record 61 sacks.
For Wake Forest fans…the trend is not your friend.
2005…4-7
2006…11-3…lost in Orange Bowl
2007…9-4
2008…8-5
2009…5-7 [lose five games by three points or less]
2010…3-9
See the three WAC teams in the AP top 25? It should also be noted that the conference’s Fresno State (8-4) defeated the Big Ten’s Illinois this week, 25-23.
Sporting News’ draft expert Russ Lande, a former NFL scout, offers this mock top ten for 2011.
1. Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford
2. A.J. Green, WR, Georgia
3. Da-Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson
4. Nick Fairley, DT, Auburn
5. Cameron Jordan, DE, California
6. Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU
7. Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska
8. Adrian Clayborn, DE, Iowa
9. Von Miller, OLB, Texas A&M
10. Robert Quinn, DE, North Carolina
Personally, I like Lande’s No. 11 pick, Jonathan Baldwin, WR, Pitt. Andrew Luck is Lande’s only QB in the entire first round (32 picks). Nick Fairley certainly has looked pretty awesome.
Ron Santo, RIP
If you plug the former Chicago Cubs third baseman’s name into my search engine, you’ll find about 40 or so mentions, many bemoaning the fact he was never selected for Baseball’s Hall of Fame. His numbers may not have been spectacular, but from 1963 to 1970, Santo hit at least 25 homers and drove in over 94 each season, finishing his career with 342 home runs and 1,331 RBI.
Overall, Santo played for the Cubs from 1960 to 1973 and then finished up with a year across town for the White Sox.
Santo was a 9-time All-Star, won five Gold Gloves, 4 times led the league in walks, 3 times was second in runs batted in, and once he even led the league in triples, even though with 35 career stolen bases he was hardly a speed merchant. He was also an iron man, appearing in 160+ games seven times.
But when it came for his turn in the Hall of Fame voting, he peaked at a startling 43% and then never quite got over the hump in the Veterans Committee balloting.
Of course all the preceding is only half the story, because at age 18, Ron Santo was found to have juvenile diabetes.
“I didn’t know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up,” he told The Chicago Sun-Times in 1990. “I can still remember the feeling I had when I read the description: life expectancy of a juvenile insulin-dependent diabetic: 25 years. It also stated that it would cause blindness, kidney failure and hardening of the arteries. At that point, I said to myself, ‘I’m going to fight this thing and beat it.’ That’s how badly I wanted to live and be a big league ballplayer.”
Santo managed to keep his diabetes a secret from the Cubs until he was named to his first All-Star team in 1963, afraid it would impact his career. In fact the public didn’t know of his condition until his final years.
But after his playing career was over, the disease did a number on him. He suffered heart attacks, underwent a quadruple-bypass, and had both legs amputated, in 2001 and 2002, as a result of circulatory problems.
The thing is, nothing could keep him down and Santo was a Cubs color commentator on WGN since 1990 (save for time off to address his medical issues).
Oh, Santo wasn’t the most articulate broadcaster, and he was a homer, but that made him all the more loveable.
“Santo epitomized the long-suffering Cubs fan, frequently grousing about the play on the field when things went bad, and made no apologies for his on-air cheerleading or his utter frustration over a Cubs misplay.
“ ‘I’m a fan,’ he explained last summer. ‘I can’t plan what I do. I get embarrassed sometimes when I hear what I said, like, ‘Oh, no, what’s going on?’ But it’s an emotion. This is being a Cub fan.’….
“Though Santo came close to Cooperstown enshrinement in the last decade in voting by the Veterans Committee, he always fell short.
“ ‘I’m just kind of fed up with it,’ Santo said after missing the cut again in 2007. ‘I figure, ‘Hey, it’s not in the cards.’’….
“Though Santo never made the Hall of Fame, his number was retired by the Cubs. He said that was equivalent to being inducted into Cooperstown. Being a Cub, and playing at Wrigley Field, meant the world to Santo.”
NFL Bits
–It’s all about Jets-Patriots on Monday night. The ratings for this one will be enormous in one of the biggest regular season games in the history of MNF. It’s also big for a reason Joe Namath gave the New York Post this weekend. Both teams may be 9-2, but “There’s not a guarantee yet for either team to (even) be in the playoffs if they don’t win the division. This is a humongous game getting that home-field advantage, even making the playoffs.”
But the Jets were dealt a big blow in practice this week when safety/punt returner Jim Leonhard broke his leg. He’s not an All-Pro caliber player, but Leonhard was the leader of the defense and is as respected as anyone on the team.
–ESPN legal analyst Lester Munson uncovered the following regarding a 112-page, court-appointed document that serves as Michael Vick’s ‘reorganization plan,’ Vick still owing a ton to creditors after filing for bankruptcy in 2008.
2/3s of every dollar Vick earns goes to creditors and taxes. The rest should be viewed as an allowance and is strictly controlled.
Vick can spend $4,250 per month on rent and utilities and $472 per month on a car.
Then there are obligations such as mortgages, child support, fees for his agent and private school for the two children he has with his fiancée; the last item the only extravagance.
Vick’s creditors will receive $12 million through 2015, assuming Vick gets a new, multi-year contract with substantial upfront money.
You know the pressure on Vick to just stay healthy the rest of the season is immense, and he’s been hit hard. Plus, while he’s already proven he can play at the highest level in his sport, he will be 31 next season.
–The NFL players’ union sent a letter to its members advising them to save their last three game checks this year in case there is a lockout next summer.
“Not only does Rolle continue to insist he doesn’t like it one bit that the Giants were booed coming off the field at halftime in last Sunday’s victory against the Jaguars – Rolle says players should be treated just as if they were returning home from war.
“ ‘We’re risking ourselves out there on the field each and every day also,’ the Giants safety said Thursday. ‘When soldiers come back from Iraq, you don’t boo them. I look at it the same way.
“ ‘I take my job seriously. I appreciate the fans to the fullest. I’m going to continue to play for them as I always have. I continue to be the best guy I can be for them, nothing’s going to change. It’s not a real big deal.’”
Rolle later apologized for comparing players to soldiers.
–I love this comment by Dennis Dillon in Sporting News on the play of Clay Matthews, Green Bay’s superstar linebacker.
“Some pass rushers get an early sack and call it a day; you don’t hear much about them for the rest of the game. Others seem to hide out until the game is on the line, then they make a big play and act like they dominated all day.”
How many of you armchair observers have the exact same thoughts in watching a game? I sure do.
“That’s not Matthews’ style. He comes at you like a pit bull – snap after snap after snap….
“Matthews believes there always are three to five plays that can change the course of a game. He expects to be involved in at least one, if not two or three.”
As for this week’s action, I missed some of it attending a little party for me mum (who turned 85…I did not have domestic. Instead I deferred to my sister-in-law and let her order red, in case you’re keeping score at home), but I did see the Giants’ total domination of Washington. Nice job, Shanahan. And Donovan, don’t plan on seeing all the money from that contract you just signed.
Brett Favre got hurt again. Please, dude, retire. Minnesota did just fine with your backup, ol’ whatshisname.
And Peyton Manning is just 6-6 after losing to Dallas in OT?!
I’ll analyze the playoff picture next time…focusing on the potential for cold weather games, while us couch potatoes are snuggled in at home with our favorite adult beverages, Chex Mix and pizza. [Actually, I have a good Chinese place about 100 yards away so they’ve been getting a lot of chicken and broccoli biz since I moved here.]
“(Derek) Jeter reportedly wants in excess of $20 million per season, which is totally absurd….
“It’s not that Jeter is supposed to give in. I’m assuming he could get the Yankees up to $17 million per plus an option for a fourth season, but he and his agent are misreading a very surly public….
“Be humble, Derek. Keep your statements to a minimum. Appreciate what you have, take the team’s offer, and work like hell to prove everyone wrong.”
Well, it would seem like $17 million a year for three, plus an option for a fourth is indeed what Jeter is going to get.
Elizabeth Currid-Halkett, a professor at USC and author of a book on the business of celebrity, wrote the following in Sunday’s New York Post:
“The haggling over a $45 million contract by a guy who doesn’t seem to care about (and certainly doesn’t need) money is antithetical to our perception of Jeter the everyman. It would be one thing for A-Rod to have a temper tantrum, the public expects such antics from him. But from Jeter, the consummate professional and unpretentious accidental celebrity? Not so much.
“Jeter should take note: Those everyman stars who display greediness tend to pay a social price. When Kate Gosselin transformed from an overtired mom of eight living in rural Pennsylvania to a seemingly money-hungry, celebrity-obsessed woman who spends $7,000 on her hair, she went from a sympathetic character to a woman whom US Weekly described as turning from ‘Mom to Monster.’
“Politicians run perhaps the greatest risk of contradicting our perceptions. They run on the ‘I am you’ platform and yet too often get caught taking lobbyist money and attending lavish parties. Voters weren’t too keen when Sarah Palin ditched her hockey mom image and spent $150,000 on her campaign wardrobe. To cultivate frugality and humility, some freshman Congressmen are rumored to be sleeping on the floors of their offices. Will they be called out for taking the private jet in four years?
“Jeter needs to be faithful to the type of celebrity he has cultivated. At present, he is considered the most marketable baseball player around and makes many millions in endorsements annually, more than even A-Rod. These endorsements can be partially explained by the perfect brew of talent and lack of airs that Jeter consistently conveys. He shouldn’t wreck this reputation and ruin the celebrity we’ve come to love (not love to hate as is the case with many of our stars).
Of course that’s been my point. All I’m saying is he better get off to a good start this year.
[Meanwhile, teammate Mariano Rivera quietly signed a new two-year, $30 million deal to stay in the Bronx after actually talking to Boston. But zero bad blood between Yankees fans and Mariano, that’s for sure.]
–Some big early moves in baseball as one of my two favorite non-Mets, Adam Dunn (the other being Ichiro) signed a four-year, $56 deal to take his 354 lifetime homers to the White Sox, but then the Red Sox were said to be on the verge of wrapping up a deal for San Diego’s slugging first baseman Adrian Gonzalez, which would be huge. But…as I go to post, it appears Adrian and the BoSox have a disagreement on the length of the contract. Boston could still obtain him in his walk year and work on an extension later, which I’m guessing is what will happen.
And this just in…Philadelphia’s Jayson Werth, 31 and hardly a superstar, signed a 7-year package with Washington for $126 million! Jayson Werth! $18 freakin’ million a year?! I mean the guy’s a real good player, but as Johnny Mac just pointed out, was this part of quantitative easing, part deux?!
—College Basketball
Nice stretch by Duke in taking out Michigan State and Butler, though I believe the latter is a shell of last year’s squad and won’t advance in the NCAAs beyond perhaps a first-round victory.
But I also couldn’t agree more than with ESPN’s Jay Bilas as to how incredibly weak the ACC is this year. The only hope is that North Carolina improves as the season goes on, and Saturday’s 75-73 win over No. 11 Kentucky was a nice step. Otherwise, there is absolutely zero chance we’ll have anyone besides Duke in the Sweet Sixteen.
As for my 2010-11 Pick to Click San Diego State Aztecs, they passed two solid tests in defeating NCAA tourney-bound Saint Mary’s and Wichita State.
–I watched LeBron James’ return to Cleveland on Thursday and I realized two things. How much I can’t stand LeBron, and how difficult it is to watch an NBA game.
James scored 38 in Miami’s 118-90 dismantling of the Cavs, but his antics, such as all the laughing with his former teammates, was less than professional, to say the least. As one fan in the stands told the Post’s Mike Vaccaro:
“Can I ask you a question? The world jumped all over Derek Anderson the other night for laughing during a game. Tonight, we had players joking with LeBron James. Isn’t that worse?”
“You got 20,000 of us all united in a cause, yelling our hearts out,” added another. “And we pay good money. And we have to see that?”
“And there was this: Cavaliers players laughing and joking and hugging James, all in full view of a crowd that, at the least, wanted to believe the illusion that all fans cling to, that the athletes suffer as much as they do. It’s always a hard sell. After this, it’ll be damn near impossible for anyone in Cleveland to buy. A TV camera caught one of Cleveland’s assistant coaches barking at James to ‘shut the [bleep] up.’
“ ‘It’s sad,’ one of the Cavs fans (said at the end of the game) ‘that we care more than any of them care.’
“By then much of the anger was already gone at The Q. What remained as the final minutes clicked away was mostly sadness and the promise of a long winter watching lousy basketball. The circus would soon be leaving. The sadness would be staying.”
Yup, Mike Vaccaro brilliantly summed up the plight of the NBA. With the Knicks improved play this year, they have a chance of winning back some old fans, such as myself, but then we look at the overall product and think, ‘why bother?’ I’ll continue to note a few special moments during the course of the season as they occur, and I want most ex-Wake Forest players to do well because it helps with our recruiting, but otherwise it’s all about college basketball in this space.
–I grew up in Summit, N.J., where I currently live, and my high school alma mater won a state football championship last fall (and went 9-1 this year), which was fun for the community. Jets coach Rex Ryan’s son plays for Summit. But before moving back ‘home’ last January, I lived in next door New Providence for 16 years, NP being the prime rival back when I was in school.
So I just have to note New Providence’s own state title this year, winning in its Group 1 section game on Saturday at the Meadowlands. I bring it up because it ended in storybook fashion the career of coach Frank Bottone after 46 years….as in he is the only football coach the school ever had, NP having been founded in 1965. He ends up with a 334-125-7 mark, the fourth-highest victory total in state history. A friend of mine from Wake Forest, Syd Kitson, played for Bottone and went on to play in the NFL for a spell. [Kitson’s one of the classiest guys I’ve ever met, so Bottone did a good job in helping shape his character….as did Syd’s parents of course.]
–Sorry, Tiger….Tiger Woods, for the first time in his career, blew a lead of 3 or more shots heading into the final round when he lost a 4-shot lead in his own invitational to Graeme McDowell, who sank a clutch putt on 18 to send it into a playoff and then won with a birdie on the first hole of sudden death. I may be in the minority, but the sport needs Tiger to win an early event next year. The interest in golf is dying, otherwise, just like NASCAR. As in NASCAR could use a huge comeback by Dale Earnhardt Jr.!!! C’mon Lil’ E!!! [I have Little Ewear that I have been shipping off to my friends on Yap, it’s gotten so bad with those of us in the Earnhardt camp.]
But you know what? Gosh darnit…I’m getting some new Ewear and I’m going to get reinvigorated with the sport, starting with Daytona.
–So last June I went to this track meet on Randall’s Island in New York, was supposed to see Usain Bolt, but he was injured. I mentioned at the time, though, that the most entertaining event was perhaps the high school mile, won by a kid from Orland Park, Illinois, Lukas Verzbicas. Well this weekend, in the Nike national cross country meet in Oregon, Verzbicas won that one as well (5km). Very cool. Someone to watch for 2016 (I think he is a junior and thus it’s probably too soon to expect he could make the 2012 Olympic team).
Actually, just Googled the lad and it turns out he came over at age nine from Lithuania, and at least as of earlier this year is planning on graduating this coming spring (early) to focus on the triathlon for the 2012 Games! Wow. Heck, then he can go back to running for 2016. The kid’s got the world by the, err, you know….
—Wild Kingdom
“Egyptian officials imposed a 48-hour swimming ban along stretches of the country’s most popular tourist destination yesterday after a shark maimed four divers swimming in the Red Sea.
“The shark attacked two Russians swimming in the Ras Nasrani area near the Red Sea resort of Sharm el-Sheikh and bit their arms off, said the director of Sinai Conservation, Mohammed Salem.
“The same shark may also have been involved in an attack on Tuesday on another pair of Russians swimming close to the resort beach, he added. It badly injured a middle-aged woman’s legs and back and bit off her hand. She had a heart attack and had to be resuscitated in hospital.
“The second victim, a 70-year-old woman, was found with her right hand and left leg torn off.”
“A diving instructor, Hassan Salem (no word on whether he is related to Mohammed Salem), said that he was on a dive at the time of the attack and was circled by the same shark before it went after the couple. ‘I was able to scare the shark away by blowing bubbles in its face, but then saw it swim to a woman and bite her legs,’ he said.”
That’s why here at Bar Chat we always recommend you dive with an official Lawrence Welk Shark-Repelling Bubble Machine…available at Target stores for just $19.95 (battery not included). But I digress….
“The last fatal shark attack in Egyptian waters is thought to have taken place in 2004….
“ ‘Oceanic whitetip sharks (the whitetip being the prime suspect) are ranked the third most dangerous shark breed globally,’ said Ibrahmim al-Shazly, a Red Sea diver.”
Of course Bar Chat readers know that most attacks on humans are by great whites, bull or tiger sharks. But then there’s this….
“Experts say that the oceanic whitetip could exceed them all if irregular attacks, which take place but are not formally recorded, are taken into account.”
AH-HA!!! What has your editor been saying lo these almost 12 years of this hard-hitting, verging on Pulitzer quality writing? The number of shark fatalities is grossly underreported and of course we can thank the folks at the International Shark Attack File for this, the ISAF being in bed with the global tourism cartel.
An account from the Moscow Times of these attacks had the following statement from the above-mentioned Mohammed Salem.
“He said Egypt sees one to two fatal shark attacks a year and they increase as the number of tourists and swimmers in the water rises.”
One to two a year?! Why I checked the ISAF database and the only fatality they list in Egypt is the 2004 attack….for the period 1828-2009!!!
I’m tellin’ ya, friends, for years I’ve said this is one of the great scandals of the past century and here’s further proof.
For now, though, keep your children close and at least 100 miles away from the water. As Bar Chat Shark Attack Director Bob S. and I were musing, there is little doubt the global winter assault is underway. But should you be forced to take a vacation in warmer climes, make sure you bring the Lawrence Welk bubble machine.
BUT HOLD ON….just as I was beginning to proof this column, the following came in.
“Snorkeling tourist killed in shark attack”
“A German woman tourist was killed in a shark attack while snorkeling off Sharm el-Sheikh on Sunday, in the third shark attack in the Egyptian Red Sea resort in a week, a local official said.
“Mohammed Salem (he’s baaaack!), director of South Sinai Conservation, said she died after a shark mauled her off Naama Bay, a day after Sharm el-Sheikh re-opened beaches following two other attacks in which Russians and a Ukrainian were mauled. [Ed. I hope not the Ukrainian nurse that WikiLeaks said was always at Gaddafi’s side…she sounded pretty hot…but I digress…]
“ ‘There has been a death unfortunately. She was a German lady. We have taken everyone out of the water,’ he said.
“Government conservation experts said on Friday they had captured two sharks, an oceanic whitetip and a mako, which they believed had mauled the Russian and Ukrainian swimmers last Tuesday and Wednesday….
“However, an Egyptian NGO warned on Saturday that at least one of the sharks behind the attacks was still at large.”
“Drunk elephant herd goes on deadly rampage after getting hold of fermented rice drink”
“A herd of about 70 elephants got drunk on a fermented rice-based drink and then went on a four-day rampage in India, killing three people and smashing dozens of homes.
“Local officials said Thursday that the herd left a path of destruction near the border states of West Bengal and Orissa. In the wake of the drinking binge, several of the elephants were found sleeping it off, according to The Guardian newspaper.
“Villagers had stockpiled the drink in preparation for a festival.”
–Good story out of the Sierra Nevada range. Federal wildlife biologists have confirmed sightings of two more Sierra Nevada red foxes that were once thought to be extinct. In fact now they feel there is a “fairly strong population” of the animals in the mountains 90 miles south of Reno. The sightings were the first in two decades. It’s really pretty remarkable. Before, researchers thought there might be one population of 20 left at the other end of the range.
But, while the Sierra red fox may be making a comeback, the White House is seeking to lift the Endangered Species Act protections from both gray wolf and grizzly bear. Noooo!!!
Unfortunately, sportsmen and ranchers, ye olde red-staters, have strongly advocated delisting them because the wolves and grizzlies are doing a number on their livestock.
Supposedly there are about 1,700 wolves in the Northern Rockies, 1,000 more than the federal recovery goal for the species. The number of grizzlies in the Yellowstone area has risen to more than 600 from 136 in 1975, which exceeds the recovery goal of 500.
But how are 700 wolves and 500 grizzlies deemed viable populations?! This blows. It’s time for the two species to join forces and launch guerrilla raids against the higher-end ski resorts.
–You know those three teens lost at sea for 50 days, looking for the Siren of the Tokelaus? Turns out their ordeal really began when they went looking for more vodka after partying on a beach.
“Edward Nasau, 14, denied reports he and Samuel Perez and Filo Filo, both 15, had set off to find a girl from a neighboring island who they had met earlier in the day.”
Why those little liars! Lock ‘em up. [No word on how much vodka was consumed at their welcome home celebration.]
–I probably passed the New York restaurant Elaine’s at least 100 times in my life…but don’t recall ever having a meal there. So, I didn’t have any personal encounters with owner Elaine Kaufman to pass on, Elaine having died on Friday at 81. But as Enid Nemy wrote in the New York Times:
“To the patrons she knew at her Upper East Side establishment, Ms. Kaufman was the quirky, opinionated, tender-hearted and imposingly heavyset proprietor who came in almost every night to check on things and schmooze, moving from table to table and occasionally perching herself on a stool at the end of her 25-foot mahogany bar.
“With those she did not know, her demeanor varied; some accused her of being rude, though she indignantly denied that she ever was. As she put it, she had little time to explain to dissatisfied customers why they were being directed to tables in the back, known as Siberia, or led to the bar or even turned away, when they could clearly see empty tables along ‘the line.’
“The line was the row of tables along the right wall of the main room, extending from the front to the back and visible from the entrance. Those tables were almost always saved for the most valued regulars, with or without reservations. One regular was Woody Allen, who filmed a scene for ‘Manhattan’ at Elaine’s.”
“They were all impressed with your Halston dress / And the people that you knew at Elaine’s.”
And while you weren’t supposed to be impressed by who was dining there, Elaine herself said there were exceptions.
“Mick Jagger was one. (‘The room grew still,’ she said.) Luciano Pavarotti was another. (‘Everyone stood up and applauded.’) And Willie Nelson proved irresistible. (‘He kissed all the women at the bar.’)”
But the joint was best known for being a writer hangout…Gay Talese, George Plimpton, Peter Maas, Dan Jenkins, Joseph Heller, Mario Puzo, and Tom Wolfe. Jackie Kennedy, who lived nearby, used to send her kids in with a note asking Elaine to serve them dinner and send her the bill.
Elaine Kaufman worked seven nights a week, often until 2 a.m., right up to just a few weeks ago when she was hospitalized.
“I’m very lucky,” she told Vanity Fair in 2009. “I get to go out seven nights a week and meet a lot of people I happen to like. How bad is that?”
–I have a real sweet tooth and back in the day I could take on all comers when it came to Christmas cookies, let me tell ya. So from time to time I order peanut butter from the Saratoga Peanut Butter Company (great stuff…get some) and in an email they had a recipe for “Peanut Butter Gingerbread Men.” Now this is all I can dream of. I’m drooling.
—Dec. 8, 1980. John Lennon was assassinated. I remember lying in bed, listening to the radio when the news hit. Radio DJ Vince Scelsa recalled:
“The news bulletin was very simple. It just said that a man identified as John Lennon had been shot and taken to Roosevelt Hospital. Six, seven minutes later the desk assistant came back in the room white as a ghost and said ‘He’s dead.’
“I knew right away this was going to be beyond a pop star’s death. This was our youth. This was the ‘60s. This was The Beatles. This was John.
“Over the next hour, every single deejay wound up back at the station and we held an on-air wake. We started putting calls on the air, which was not a typical thing for us to do, but it seemed like people desperately needed not only to express their anger and their sadness, but to be together.”
Top 3 songs for the week of 12/8/79: #1 “Babe” (Styx…pathetic) #2 “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)” (Barbra Streisand/Donna Summer…needless to say, didn’t buy the ’45) #3 “Still” (Commodores…eh)…and… #4 “Please Don’t Go” (K.C. & The Sunshine Band… mailed it in in a pitiful attempt to slow it down) #5 “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” (Rupert Holmes…have to be in the right mood) #6 “Send One Your Love” (Stevie Wonder) #7 “Heartache Tonight” (Eagles…one of their worst) #8 “You’re Only Lonely” (J.D. Souther…killed this brain cell at a party the previous week) #9 “Ships” (Barry Manilow…geezuz, can’t remember this one either) #10 “Do That To Me One More Time” (The Captain & Tennille…the Captain was getting bored with the whole act by this time and just playing aimlessly…yeah, this tune would slowly rise to #1 by mid-Feb. 1980, but it was their last Top 40…I mean she was like no spring chicken, folks. Toni was 36!…waiting for emails on this one….)
NFL Quiz Answer: Top three season rushing totals for a back at least 30 years old.
Tiki Barber…2005…30…1,860
Curtis Martin…2004…31…1,697* led league
Walter Payton…1984…30…1,684
Tiki Barber…2006…31…1,662
Corey Dillon…2004…30…1,635
“For any NFL team struggling with its ground game and considering a star college running back to draft early next year, the best advice might be not to waste a draft pick on a running back all together.
“The NFL this year has more teams relying on undrafted running backs than at any time since the 1970 AFL-NFL merger, with six different undrafted players currently leading their teams in rushing. Texans running back Arian Foster, who signed with Houston as a free agent after no team drafted him out of the University of Tennessee last year, leads the entire NFL in rushing with 1,230 yards. That puts him on pace to break the all-time record for rushing yards in a season by an undrafted player, which is currently owned by Priest Holmes, who gained 1,615 yards for the Chiefs in 2002.”
Other undrafted backs leading their team this year include the Pats’ BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Buffalo’s Fred Jackson, and San Diego’s Mike Tolbert.
