The Madness Continues

The Madness Continues

[Posted Sunday p.m. before the conclusion of the last two NCAA tourney games.]

UConn Quiz: Name the 8-9 guys in the rotation for the 2003-04 national champion Huskies, who defeated Georgia Tech, 82-73, for the title. Answer below.

STUPITT!

Thus read the back-page headline in Sunday’s New York Post. What an incredible ending to the Pitt/Butler game on Saturday as eighth-seeded Butler upset No. 1 Pitt on a “colossal foul” with :0.8 showing on the clock.

So for the archives, and for those who missed it, this is how the Post’s Tim Bontemps describes the final action.

2.2: After Butler and Pitt call successive timeouts, Shawn Vanzant finds center Andrew Smith under the basket for a layup to give Butler a 70-69 lead.

1.4: Pitt forward Gilbert Brown collects a long inbounds pass and is fouled by Butler’s Shelvin Mack wildly running at him along the left sideline. As the refs again consult video to set the clock, Mack jaws at Brown on the court. Brown, a 79-percent free-throw shooter who hit his first three attempts of the game, swishes the first to tie the game at 70. He misses the second.

0.8: Butler forward Matt Howard hauls in the rebound and is hacked across the arm by Pitt’s Nasir Robinson, who is called for the foul. Howard, who hit a buzzer-beating layup in the first round, makes the first free throw to put the Bulldogs up 71-70 and intentionally clangs the second to leave Pitt no time for a desperation heave.

As the Post put it another way, “Pitt Spits Bit in ‘But’–Ugly Loss.”

Just as Shelvin Mack’s foul was one of the stupidest plays in the history of the sport, Nasir Robinson comes back and hands the game to Butler. Every commentator covering the event on the various stations being employed agreed it was not a “controversial ending” because the referees made the correct calls on both plays, just an incredibly bizarre and excruciating ending for Pitt. How the entire campus can ever recover is up for debate.

This is a Butler team, by the way, that is inferior to last year’s edition that went to the title game with Duke and to me was fortunate to get an 8-seed, yet here they are again, stunning us. 34-year-old coach Brad Stevens has the world by the you know what.

One other look at the ending…from the Washington Post’s John Feinstein.

“This was the final sequence of Saturday night’s (game).

“A basket.


“A foul.

“A conversation between the fouler and the foulee while the officials were checking to see where to set the clock.

“A made free throw.


“A missed free throw.


“A rebound.


“A foul.


“Another check of the clock.


“A made free throw.


“An intentionally missed free throw.

“A desperation heave right that came close but would not have counted.

“All of that took place in 2.2 seconds.”


Pitt shot 56.5 percent for the game – and still lost.

And for the record, Shelvin Mack didn’t trash talk Gilbert Brown, but it was inappropriate that Mack stood in front of Brown while the latter was preparing for the two deciding free throws.

As for Brown, your heart goes out to the guy. Yet another who will forever be remembered in NCAA tournament lore for the wrong reason. Ditto Nasir Robinson, though I feel less sorry for him.

Tourney Bits

–Well my bracket is a disaster, what with me having Pitt in the Final Four and Oakland in the Elite Eight. [And I’m waiting on Notre Dame, as I write.] But my San Diego State Aztecs hung on in one of the more tense dramas you’ll ever see, a double-overtime victory over Temple where every possession seemed like a battle. 3 Temple players played 49 or all 50 minutes. Aztec point guard D.J. Gay did the same, all 50, and with just one turnover.

SDSU needed to get to the Sweet Sixteen in the worst way after the regular season they had. Next up Kemba and UConn in what should be a classic, though the Aztecs’ talented front line better cut down on the number of bricks it tends to throw up. They really do operate at hyper speed at times, and that’s not always good.

[Verne Lundquist said over the weekend that the best game he attended all year in terms of atmosphere was the SDSU-BYU affair I went to in San Diego.]

–Television ratings for the tournament are the best in two decades.

–When you look at the Pitt ending, and the almost disastrous bonehead play of North Carolina’s John Henson, and then the idiotic failure to execute on a last-minute inbounds play by Syracuse because the guy didn’t know the rules, to cite some obvious examples, Johnny Mac wondered if the teams in the tourney actually had any coaches. “I have never, ever, seen such [a-hole] plays at the end of games in my life.” Some of us are now convinced a lot of the players never really graduated from high school.

–Jimmer continues to rack up the points, but what an effort by Kansas State’s Jacob Pullen in defeat; 38 of his team’s 65 in their five-point loss to Wisconsin. But note to K-State coach Frank Martin…chill out!

–Mike Vaccaro / New York Post:

“You know what the difference is between (Tenn. basketball coach) Bruce Pearl and (Ohio State football coach) Jim Tressel? Exactly nothing. They’re both double-talking NCAA crooks who should be on the street immediately. But only the one whose team tanked on him is going to be.”

Pearl’s Tennessee squad got blown out by Michigan in the first round of the tourney, 75-45, while Tressel is now saying he wants the same punishment his players are receiving, five games, not the two the school handed him.

Jalen Rose and the Fab Five

I did not watch ESPN’s film on Michigan’s Fab Five from 1991-93 and now I won’t bother. [Couldn’t stand them back in the day anyway.] In it, Rose, the executive producer, stated that Duke recruited only black players he considered to be “Uncle Toms.” Grant Hill, a player on the Duke team that beat Michigan in the 1992 Final Four, reflected on Rose’s comments in an op-ed for the New York Times.

“It was a sad and somewhat pathetic turn of events…to see friends narrating this interesting documentary about their moment in time and calling me a bitch and worse, calling all black players at Duke “Uncle Toms” and, to some degree, disparaging my parents for their education, work ethic and commitment to each other and to me. I should have guessed there was something regrettable in the documentary when I received a Twitter apology from Jalen before its premiere….

“In his garbled but sweeping comment that Duke recruits only ‘black players that were ‘Uncle Toms,’’ Jalen seems to change the usual meaning of those very vitriolic words into his own meaning, i.e., blacks from two-parent, middle-class families. He leaves us all guessing exactly what he believes today.

“I am beyond fortunate to have two parents who are still working well into their 60s. they received great educations and use them every day. My parents taught me a personal ethic I try to live by and pass on to my children.

“I come from a strong legacy of black Americans. My namesake, Henry Hill, my father’s father, was a day laborer in Baltimore. He could not read or write until he was taught to do so by my grandmother. His first present to my dad was a set of encyclopedias, which I now have. He wanted his only child, my father, to have a good education, so he made numerous sacrifices to see that he got an education, including attending Yale.

“That is part of our great tradition as black Americans. We aspire for the best or better for our children and work hard to make that happen for them. Jalen’s mother is part of our great black tradition and made the same sacrifices for him.

“My teammates at Duke – all of them, black and white – were a band of brothers who came together to play at the highest level for the best coach in basketball. I know most of the black players who preceded and followed me at Duke. They all contribute to our tradition of excellence on the court.

“It is insulting and ignorant to suggest that men like Johnny Dawkins (coach at Stanford), Tommy Amaker (coach at Harvard), Billy King (general manager of the Nets), Tony Lang (coach of the Mitsubishi Diamond Dolphins in Japan), Thomas Hill (small-business owner in Texas), Jeff Capel (former coach at Oklahoma and Virginia Commonwealth), Kenny Blakeney (assistant coach at Harvard), Jay Williams (ESPN analyst), Shane Battier (Memphis Grizzlies) and Chris Duhon (Orlando Magic) ever sold out their race.

“To hint that those who grew up in a household with a mother and father are somewhat less black than those who did not is beyond ridiculous. All of us are extremely proud of the current Duke team, especially Nolan Smith. He was raised by his mother, plays in memory of his late father and carries himself with the pride and confidence that they instilled in him.

“The sacrifices, the effort, the education and the friendships I experienced in my four years are cherished. The many Duke graduates I have met around the world are also my ‘family,’ and they are a special group of people. A good education is a privilege….

“My mother always says, ‘You can live without Chaucer and you can live without calculus, but you cannot make it in the wide, wide world without common sense.’…In the end, those who are successful are those who adjust and adapt to the decisions they have made and make the best of them.

“I caution my fabulous five friends to avoid stereotyping me and others they do not know in much the same way so many people stereotyped them back then for their appearance and swagger. I wish for you the restoration of the bond that made you friends, brothers and icons.

“I am proud of my family. I am proud of my Duke championships and all my Duke teammates. And, I am proud I never lost a game against the Fab Five.”

Grant Henry Hill
Phoenix Suns
Duke ‘94

FACE!! You da man, Grant! 

[I give Jim Nantz credit for bringing the above subject up during Sunday’s Duke-Michigan contest. Clark Kellogg, on the other hand, offered up a weak “let’s move on.”]

The New York Mess

As I lay my head to sleep on Sunday, Oliver Perez is still a Met (meaning another night of total nightmares where in them the elevator door at my place opens and there he is, grinning).

But one of our long national nightmares did end the other day when the Mets ate the last year on second baseman Luis Castillo’s contract.

Castillo’s nearly four years as a Met weren’t all bad, but as befitting the overall performance of the team there were more than a few pathetic moments, not least of which was June 12, 2009, when he dropped a routine pop that would have been the last out in a game against the Yankees. It’s a moment that Mets fans will be passing down, generation to generation. 100 years from now, fathers in a surly mood will tell their little boys, “Son, I have a different kind of bedtime story for you tonight…it’s the story of Luis Castillo’s dropped pop against the Yankees.” “No, Daddy! Don’t! Bobby’s father told him that one the other day and Bobby hasn’t slept since!”

Mike Vaccaro / New York Post


“Well, look at who’s making decisions now.

“You are. You wanted Luis Castillo gone. And now he is gone. If this isn’t the ultimate level of our inter-active world, then it’ll be chilling to see, what the higher planes are. Push-button trade-on-demand? Remote-control firings-on-command? Rooting via joystick?

“ ‘It was a factor to us and I think it was a factor for Luis as well,’ Mets GM Sandy Alderson said Friday, not long after releasing Castillo and his $6 million and the acres of hard feelings that exist between him and Mets fans. ‘Realistically, one has to admit those things can come into play.’”

But as Vacarro adds, “it’s pretty disingenuous…to point to the fans as a prime motivator for anything you do, because while it may sound good, while it may play to the most basic and primal emotions we have when it comes to caring about sports, it’s nonsense, plain and simple.

“Disagree? Well, if the Mets really cared about their fans’ feelings, they would never have allowed Oliver Perez within 500 miles of Port St. Lucie.’

As for the Bernie Madoff / Mets ownership debacle, trustee Irving Picard amended his lawsuit against Fred Wilpon et al, to add “specific detail” to the $1 billion-plus suit. As reported by the New York Daily News:

“The new ‘red flags’ in the amended complaint involve (1) Sterling Equities’ efforts to restructure their debt following the revelation of Madoff’s crimes in December 2008; (2) some irregularities of a $54-million loan Madoff made to Sterling Equities in 2004*; (3) a letter of inquiry from the state’s attorney general in 2000 about the Wilpon and (Saul) Katz family foundations; and (4) an episode when hedge fund manager Peter Stamos told the Mets’ owners he was confused about what seemed like inconsistencies in Madoff’s notoriously selective choices as to who could invest with him.”

*The Wall Street Journal described this one thusly:

“Mr. Madoff wired to Sterling on about May 26, 2004, the $54 million, ‘which was comprised of other people’s money,’ the complaint states. The next day Sterling repaid the $54 million it had borrowed from Mr. Madoff and used money borrowed from banks to proceed with the buyout, the complaint states.

“The complaint says Messrs. Wilpon, Katz and (general partner Marvin) Tepper ‘should have known that it was highly unusual for such a sizable transaction to be supported by only minimal documentation.’”

The preceding is an example of what bothers me most about the Wilpons’ dealings.

Back to the players on the field, outfielder Carlos Beltran has still just played in one game this spring.

“It’s frustrating, but it is what it is,” he said. “I have to deal with the situation and get back to doing what I do.”

To which the New York Times’ Tyler Kepner replied:

“Just what does he do anymore? Beltran turns 34 in April. He cannot play center field, and his last healthy season was 2008. Like Castillo, Beltran was a dubious long-term investment; the legs that stole 83 bases in two season before coming to New York just don’t work the way they used to.”

And then…the depression set in.


Stuff

–Poor Lindsey Vonn. She had pulled to within three points (1,728-1,725) of rival Maria Riesch for the overall World Cup skiing title but the very last race of the season, a giant slalom at Lenzerheide, Switzerland, was called off by officials because of poor snow conditions (heavy fog and rain). Vonn was “devastated,” in her own words. It really was an awful way, particularly for fans, for the World Cup season to end but officials said they did everything they could. So Vonn is stuck on three World Cup titles.

Vonn had built a 27-point lead after Wednesday’s downhill, but then fell behind in the slalom, finishing 13th to Riesch’s 4th. 

[Croatia’s Ivica Kostelic is the men’s overall World Cup winner.]

–The Barry Bonds perjury and obstruction of justice trial is finally set to begin this week, Monday. One of the key prosecution witnesses will be Kimberly Bell, Bonds’ mistress, who is expected to testify about the dramatic changes in his physical appearance, including ye olde testicle shrinkage that she’ll claim was due to his steroid use. But transcripts for 11 voice mails, where Bonds blasts Bell in some, calling her all manner of unprintable names, will not be allowed to be introduced into evidence as Judge Susan Illston said they were irrelevant. 

Meanwhile, former teammates such as Benito Santiago are expected to say that got steroids from Bonds’ trainer Greg Anderson. Anderson continues to say he will not take the stand.

–GQ magazine came up with a list of “The Worst Sports Fans in America.”


To wit…and just in part:

15. Los Angeles Lakers…Congratulations, Angelenos! You are the fairest of America’s fair-weather fans!

14. University of Oregon Basketball…With a firm dedication to taking taunts too far, the Oregon Duck faithful have a storied history of degeneracy that can be traced all the way back to the days when someone beaned legendary coach John Wooden with a half-eaten apple. But the crowning violation of the school’s ‘Code of ConDUCKt’ (their unforgivable pun, not ours) occurred in 2008, when former Oregon high school standout Kevin Love dared return home playing for rival UCLA. Ducks fans distributed Love’s cell-phone number before the game and left him some 400 voice mails, featuring such witty messages as ‘If you guys win, we’ll come to your house and kill your family.’” [Students in the stands later proceeded to call his grandmother a whore until she cried… “Way to get in the old lady’s head, Oregon!”]

13. University of Wisconsin Football…Drunken Badgers have amassed such a glorious history of harassing visiting fans…that UW became the nation’s first school to install Breathalyzers at the gate.

12. Dallas Cowboys…The swaggering diaspora of Dallas fans insufferably mouth off about the invincibility of “America’s Team,” as if they’re rooting for our entire country and not a franchise that has won two playoff games in the past fifteen years.

11. Montreal Canadiens…Forget the riots the erupted last May after the Canadiens made it to the Eastern Conference final; they were nothing compared with the hordes of looters who set fire to five police cars during the 2008 playoffs simply because Montreal advanced past the first round.

10. Louisiana State University Football…Opposing players and fans who visit Death Valley are considered, as LSU supporters will kindly remind them via drunken shouts to the face, “Tiger bait!”

9. New York Yankees…Remember everything you hate about New York? If not, Yankees fans will be happy to remind you.

8. Duke University Basketball…Duke fans who complain that everyone hates them because they’re too good are like cheerleaders who complain that everyone hates them because they’re too pretty. Sorry, princess! Soaked with arrogance (and Dick Vitale tongue baths), the Dukies have hit NC State with the chant “If you can’t go to college, go to State!” while UNC has gotten the blunter “We’re smart! You’re dumb!” This from the crowd who interminably claim to be the classiest in all of basketball.

7. Penn State University Football…Behold: a group of fans so vile that the university had to adopt a resolution denouncing “negative cheering” all the way back in 2000. Loophole: They didn’t tell the kids not to throw stuff! [Including bottles of urine.]

6. Boston Red Sox…Winning the 2004 World Series was the worst thing to ever happen to Red Sox fans. Having been beaten into a state of lovable-loserdom by generations of championship futility, they now seem intent on living out some sort of horsehided cycle of domestic violence, inflicting upon us everything that for eighty-six years was inflicted upon them. It is a display of epic hypocrisy. All their whining about the Yankees’ salary-driven Evil Empire? They now gloat while drubbing opponents with what is routinely the second-highest-paid roster in baseball.

5. University of Maryland Basketball…[Winners of the Special GQ Award for Excellence in the Field of Rioting!…one after another…]

4. Oakland Raiders…Ever since John Madden collected the NFL’s most vicious trouble cases into a Super Bowl-winning wrecking crew, the Silver and Black have attracted an unholy fan base of hell-raisers, gangbangers, and inveterate knife-lickers, all of whom firmly believe that skipping town for an away game is well worth the parole violation.

3. West Virginia University Mountaineers…Yeah, sure, they’ve been condemned by the local mayor for shouting obscenities on national television broadcasts…But what really defines the West Virginia University faithful is their devotion to celebratory arson. The school led the nation in intentionally set street fires from 1997 to 2003, lighting up an unmatchable 1,120 blazes.

2. and 1. Philadelphia Eagles and Philadelphia Phillies…Over the years, Philadelphia fans have booed Santa Claus, their own star players, and most absurdly, the recipient of America’s very first hand transplant, whose crime was dribbling in a ceremonial first pitch – thrown with his freshly transplanted hand.  Booo! Admittedly, there are some things fans have cheered. Like Michael Irvin’s career-ending neck injury and a fan being tased on the outfield grass. Things reached their nadir last season, when Citizens Bank Park played host to arguably the most heinous incident in the history of sports: A drunken fan intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl. The truth is this: All told, Philadelphia stadiums house the most monstrous collection of humanity outside of the federal penal system. “Some of these people would boo the crack in the Liberty Bell,” baseball legend Pete Rose once said. More likely, these savages would have thrown the battery that cracked it.

Your editor’s take on all this is I can’t believe GQ didn’t include my own New York Jets fans! We are the worst in American sports, period. Or at least 3rd.

–I am bored to tears by the NFL labor situation. I printed out all kinds of articles from the past few days, was going to put together a report for all of you, and then I thought, ‘Why bother?’  It’s over when it’s over.

–Former NFL receiver Drew Hill died after suffering two massive strokes. Hill was just 54.

Hill was a 12th-round draft pick out of Georgia Tech and a late-bloomer, not becoming a regular until age 28, but it ended up being a helluva career with the Rams, Oilers and Falcons as he caught 634 passes for a 15.5 average and 60 TDs. Hill was a Pro Bowler in 1988 and 1990. At age 35, in 1991, he had his best season, reception-wise, catching 90 for Houston. 

–And former St. Louis Cardinals shortstop Marty Marion passed away at the age of 93. Marion, a seven-time All-Star and N.L. MVP in 1944, despite hitting only .267, topped out at 40% in the Hall of Fame voting primarily because he was overshadowed by the likes of fellow shortstops Pee Wee Reese and Phil Rizzuto during this same era, plus, frankly, Marion was an inferior hitter. Marion also played half his career during the war years. He had been excused from serving due to a childhood leg injury. It was his Cardinals, though, who dominated during the Big One, winning two Series and losing another.

–Speaking of winning, the San Francisco Giants, fresh off their World Series triumph, have sold more than 6,000 season tickets above the total for all of last year, as reported by the Wall Street Journal, and expect to near the club’s limit of 28,000 before the season starts. Seating capacity at AT&T Park is 41,503.

–New York, we have a problem. The New York Knicks, that is, and their recent acquisition, Carmelo Anthony. On Friday, Anthony hit just 2 of 12 from the field and didn’t score a point after the first quarter, plus he missed two critical attempts in the final 38 seconds of another desultory loss to a crappy team, in this case the Detroit Pistons, 99-95. They then lost on Sunday to 27-41 Milwaukee so the team is 7-8 with Melo since the trade that brought the superstar to Gotham.

But what makes matters even worse than the fact he is having trouble jelling with his new teammates (which is understandable to a point), is watching Anthony pout and after Friday’s game refusing to talk to the press.

Marc Berman / New York Post

“The honeymoon is officially over. Anthony, coming off an historically awful 6-point (outing) will resume talking and playing today (Sunday)….

“Nobody remembers Patrick Ewing – or even Stephon Marbury – refusing to talk after a game….

“Anthony’s display Friday is the most alarming sign yet he is not fitting into the team structure, as his self-absorbed reputation he carried in Denver is resurfacing in New York after just 14 games.

“Anthony showed no animation when he watched from the bench, ignored Ronny Turiaf’s attempt to high-five him when he left the court after the final buzzer and appeared to lecture Toney Douglas when he posted up and did not get the ball.”

Yoh, Melo. This is New York. What the hell are you thinking? So you now have the same reporters who were screaming for you to come to the Big Apple ripping you. Better change your attitude right quick.

–Peter Vecsey corrected the stats on Wilt Chamberlain and his double-doubles after conferring with 76ers’ longtime statistician Harvey Pollack. Chamberlain’s longest streak was 220, not 227, but get this. Chamberlain hit double-doubles 968 times out of 1,045 games played.

–There are certain days that will always stand out in one’s memory and such will be the case with the death of polar bear Knut at an all-too-early age of 4. I was at the computer when word came in from Johnny Mac that Knut had been found dead in a pool in his cage at the Berlin Zoo.  In front of at least 600 witnesses, Knut just collapsed and died.  J. Mac immediately suspected foul play and I concur.

Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit said, “This is awful. We had all taken him to our hearts. He was the star.”

Knut was a huge money-maker for the zoo, to say the least. But PETA’s German branch, it turns out, had previously complained that other bears were tormenting Knut.

In 2008, Knut’s keeper, Thomas Doerflein, reportedly suffered a heart attack and died at age 44. Knut “acted morose after his friend’s death,” according to news accounts at the time.

It was December of 2007 that I was in Berlin and saw Knut, but I have to tell you we didn’t really hit it off. Dr. Doolittle I’m not.

–For the first time ever, over 500,000 (507,000 to be exact) crossed the finish line in a U.S. marathon last year. Many say that the recession proved a boon for the sport that costs little and helps relieve stress. And as the Wall Street Journal reports, some races in 2011, such as Boston and the Marine Corps race in Washington, D.C., sold out in record time. Last fall, New York’s 44,977 finishers represented the largest crowd in the history of the world to complete 26.2 miles.

–Seattle Mariners superstar Ichiro has donated $1.24 million to the Japanese Red Cross for earthquake relief efforts.

Tiger Woods is dating a 22-year-old blonde, Alyse Lahti Johnston, who is the stepdaughter of sports agent Alistair Johnston. Her biological father is former St. Louis Cardinals’ pitcher Jeff Lahti.

[Greg Norman told Golf Week’s “Forecaddie” that Tiger would win only one more major.]

Elin Nordegren bought a $12.2 million mansion in Palm Beach, Fla., just ten miles from Tiger’s new $60 million mega-mansion/training compound.

Gary Woodland won this week’s PGA Tour event, his first. Wake alum Webb Simpson was second.

–At Ireland’s Gold Cup racing event various celebrities showed up. As reported in the Irish Independent, though, I loved this exchange.

“The punters parted in waves as Jordan – aka Katie Price – teetered along on pink stilettos accompanied by her new boyfriend Leandro Penna and her two blonde-quiffed ‘bessie’ mates.

“ ‘I’m not interested in photographs,’ she managed to mutter through her immobile pout.

“ ‘Why keep tweeting where you’re going to be then?’ asked one exasperated photographer.”

That could be the line of the year.

–Ripped from the pages of the New York Post’s Page Six… “sightings”:

“Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue cover girl Irina Syayk celebrating fellow SI model Julie Henderson’s 25th birthday at Kenmare at a surprise bash organized by Henderson’s live-in boyfriend, Alejandro Santo Domingo.”

I’m thinking of changing my name to Eduardo Santo Editorado…just sayin’. [Pronounced “Eh-dee-tor-ado”]

–And now our irregular feature… “Sex Chat,” as gleaned from the pages of Men’s Health magazine. A Men’s Health survey asks “Which outside-the-bedroom activity do you consider important to foreplay?” 79% of women said “making eye contact.”

Kristin, 30, says “I love sending dirty texts all day.” Here at Bar Chat, we have a “no dirty texts” policy that is strictly enforced.

Here’s another.


“My girlfriend wants to be tied up. Do I have to go all dungeon master?” Eddie, El Paso, TX


The Girl Next Door, Carolyn Kylstra, responds.

“It’ll feel sexiest if you’re just as into it as she is. That’s because the thrill isn’t about props and circumstance; it’s about her surrendering control and letting you roam. Just have fun with it – Latex, Leather, neckties, or otherwise.”

Good gawd. I don’t have time to shop for all of that!

–This just in… “When squirrels attack: Vermont town on alert

Laura Bly / USA TODAY

“Better known for its pottery, eco-minded liberal arts college and scrumptious maple syrup, the southwestern Vermont burg of Bennington is in the news this week for a renegade resident: A gray squirrel that, according to the Bennington Banner, has made unprovoked attacks on several locals.

“Bennington’s Kevin McDonald was ‘minding his own business and shoveling snow away from the side of his house when he was attacked,’ the paper reports. McDonald threw off the scratching critter, but it twice jumped back onto him before retreating to a nearby tree.

“ ‘The next day, when his wife reported hearing yelling from across the street, he said he looked to see his neighbor with a blanket and a metal pole battling a gray squirrel not unlike the one that attacked him the day before,’ the paper writes. ‘Later, he would learn that a woman on the same street had also been attacked.’”

One woman is being treated for rabies, but Vermont Public Health officials say there’s never been a case of a squirrel passing rabies to a human. Robert Johnson, the state veterinarian, theorizes “the unruly animal could have been raised as a pet, and might ‘go ballistic’ when it encounters people it doesn’t recognize.”

I think there’s only one way to handle this. A no-fly zone over Bennington. First, though, we’ll need to take out all squirrel nests in town. But as George Will said on ABC’s “This Week,” the United States would then be “taking sides in a civil war…creating a political vacuum by decapitating the government.”

Or was he talking about Libya? Now I’m confused. It’s but another example of how easily things can get taken out of context these days.

Ferlin Husky died. He was 85. Husky had the first big crossover single of the Nashville Sound era that became a pop Top 10, “Gone.”

Since you’ve gone the moon the sun the stars in the sky know the reason why I cry
Love divine once was mine now you’ve gone
Since you’ve gone my heart my lips my tear dimmed eyes a lonely soul within me cries

[Geezuz….I’m ready to jump out the window…this is worse than Gilbert O’Sullivan’s “Alone Again (Naturally)”]

But I’m one guy who loved the Nashville Sound, those lush chords that propelled the likes of Jim Reeves, and for Husky, “Gone” topped the country charts for ten weeks and hit No. 4 on the pop list. From 1953 to 1975, he had 41 Top 40 country hits, including “Wings of a Dove,” which also spent 10 weeks at No. 1 in 1960.

Top 3 songs for the week 3/23/63: #1 “Our Day Will Come” (Ruby and The Romantics) #2 “The End Of The World” (Skeeter Davis) #3 “You’re The Reason I’m Living” (Bobby Darin)…and…#4 “He’s So Fine” (The Chiffons) #5 “Walk Like A Man” (The 4 Seasons) #6 “Rhythm Of The Rain” (The Cascades) #7 “South Street” (The Orlons) #8 “Blame It On The Bossa Nova” (Eydie Gorme…my mom thought she was homely…I, on the other hand, was a huge fan of her hubby, Steve Lawrence…very underrated entertainer in the purest sense…great comedian as well as a good singer…and that’s your Steve Lawrence Fan Club moment of the week) #9 “What Will Mary Say” (Johnny Mathis…and this is another underrated artist who is still going strong, which is kind of unbelievable) #10 “In Dreams” (Roy Orbison)

UConn Quiz Answer: 2003-04…Ben Gordon, Rashad Anderson, Emeka Okafor, Taliek Brown, Josh Boone, Charlie Villanueva, Hilton Armstrong, Denham Brown, Shamon Tooles.

Next Bar Chat, Thursday….a tradition unlike any other.