**Coming Thursday…The Giant Beaver!**
[Exclusive excerpts from a new book illustrated by our own
Harry Trumbore]
Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quiz (1976-2002): 1) Leading rusher,
career? 2) Passing yards, career? 3) Receptions, season? 4)
Receiving yards, career? [Different answer from no. 3] 5) Who
was the 1st draft pick in franchise history? [Hint: Defensive
player] 6) Who was the first pick in 1977? [Hint: Offensive
player…both well known] Answers below.
Canadian Football
My friend Harry K. from north of the border was making fun of
me the other day for suggesting that it was a stupid idea to hold
the Super Bowl in the Meadowlands due to the weather. This
week the NFL awarded the 2008 game that New Jersey was
hoping to land to Arizona instead, which is in the process of
building a new stadium in Glendale. The Meadowlands couldn’t
put together a bid in time, anyway, but now officials say they’ll
shoot for 2009 (along with another cold weather spot,
Washington, DC). Commissioner Paul Tagliabue is evidently
still committed to the idea. But here are Harry’s thoughts on the
matter:
—
The Super Bowl should be played in an open air stadium,
preferably in Green Bay or Minnesota, but Giants Stadium will
do. Up here in the Great White North, the Grey Cup Game – the
title game in real football, the Canadian game: three downs, run
and shoot, a longer, wider field, twelve men, and a rouge is
worth two points – is often played in a blizzard in Winnipeg, or
Calgary, or on a frozen field in Regina or Edmonton. Mud or
snow, rain or heat, the elements add a random dimension to the
grid iron, the chance of an exogenous event that can destroy a
team’s game pan or remove an advantage.
Perhaps the best example of this is the famous Fog Bowl, played
in Toronto on Saturday, December 1 and Sunday, December 2,
1962. During the second quarter, heavy fog rolled in off Lake
Ontario. While visibility on the field was sufficient for play to
continue, the spectators in the stands could not see anything, nor
could the television audience. Down on the field, the Hamilton
Tiger Cats’ Garney Henley ran for two touchdowns, and Bobby
Kunts for another. The Winnipeg Blue Bombers’ Leo Lewis ran
for two touchdowns as well, and scored one more on a pass from
Charlie Sheppard, but the fans could see little of the action.
As the fog thickened, the ball disappeared whenever it went into
the air. Punt returners could hear the ball being kicked but could
only locate it when it hit the ground, and there’s no “fair catch”
in Canadian Football, either. On the plus side for the punt
returner, he could only see the bodies hurtling at him from the
knees down.
Still, in the second half, Hamilton’s great quarterback, Joe Zuger,
threw a long touchdown pass to Dave Ziti. How he caught it, no
one knows, but he did, and Hamilton fans still shake their heads
in wonder.
Finally, CFL Commissioner Sydney Halter had had enough.
After several visits to the sideline during the game – each time
deciding that, hell, we’ve played in worse and it’s not that bad –
he pulled the plug with 9 minutes and 29 seconds left in
regulation time, ruling that they’d play the remainder the next
day. Hamilton ended up moving the ball well but could not
score. Final: Winnipeg 28, Hamilton 27.
In 1996, the Grey Cup game was played at Ivor Wynn Stadium
in Hamilton. The Edmonton Eskimos versus the Toronto
Argonauts. The 84th championship game (or as you ‘Murricans
would say, Grey Cup LXXXIV). The Argos won 43-37, the
second-highest Grey Cup game score in history. Touchdown
receptions of 75 and 64 yards, a 91-yard kickoff return and an
80-yard punt return for touchdowns. 911 yards of total offense.
But did I mention that it was snowing the whole time? This was
a game forever now known as The Snow Bowl.
Almost 39,000 mostly insane fans braved the elements at C$150
a throw. Snowblower tractors idled next to the benches. Field
hands wielded brooms and shovels. By the end of the game, the
fans were covered in snow. Doug Flutie, the Argos’ great QB
(and Boo to Buffalo for not utilizing this great talent effectively.
He could of taken the Bills to the Super Bowl, but noooo, they
benched him and played the other guy. But I digress…), played
wearing gloves and still completed 22 of 35 passes for 302 yards.
Just a normal day’s work in the CFL. Flutie was named the
game’s MVP. But Toronto’s kicker played a perfect game.
Mike Vanderjagt, a home-grown player who had been cut by
three teams (twice by the Argos, in 1994 and 1995) before
winning a spot on the Toronto squad, kicked 5 field goals in 5
attempts. Vanderjagt, who attended West Virginia, had never
played in snow before.
Then there’s the Mud Bowl. November 25, 1950. The Argos
against the Blue Bombers, Varsity Stadium at the University of
Toronto, my alma mater. The league, called the CRU in those
days, could have bought a tarp to protect the field for C$6,000
but decided to take a chance. Naturally, this being Canada, the
night before the game brought 8 inches of snow, but by game
time it had warmed up considerably and the field had thawed. A
snow removal vehicle was bogged down on the field, so they
brought in a big-tired tractor to tow it off. That left huge, muddy
ruts, which became a major factor in the game.
By 10:00 AM on game day the field was soup, and within the
first few possessions of the game all the numbers on the players’
jersey were obliterated under the mud. Officials couldn’t tell
which team was which. At one point, after a scrimmage, referee
Hec Creighton spied Winnipeg’s Buddy Tinsley facedown in a
puddle of mud, apparently unconscious, and pulled him out in
the nick of time. When’s the last time a player almost drowned
in an NFL game?
In 1977, the game was played in Montreal’s Olympic Stadium,
back before they’d managed to get the roof put on the thing. The
expensive white elephant of a building has since fallen apart.
Anyway, as usual, it had snowed heavily the week before the
game and the field hands came up with the brilliant idea of using
a special snow melting chemical. It worked, but, alas, the melted
snow froze solid – it gets cold in Montreal – and the artificial turf
was a sheet of glare ice. The Habs (ed. Montreal Canadians)
might have been more at home, but the Montreal Alouettes got
out their trusty staple guns (don’t leave the locker room without
one) and shot staples into their cleats. They wiped the floor with
the Edmonton Eskimos, whipping them 41 to 6. Since then,
teams have routinely stocked broomball shoes in their equipment
lockers. [Broomball – there’s another story.]
In the 1965 game, dubbed the Wind Bowl, the gale force winds
blowing through Exhibition Stadium (yow, those metal seats
were COLD!!) in Toronto were so strong that Bud Grant’s
Winnipeg Blue Bombers conceded three safety touches rather
than try to kick into the wind, and Hamilton won by those six
points.
And here you are whining about having to play the Super Bowl
in Giants Stadium?! That’s almost the tropics, for Pete’s sake! I
say, why the hell not? Play the real football for once. Play some
Vince Lombardi football for a change. I want to see if those
400-pound mutant NFL linemen can handle the elements.
Playing in real weather, especially Canadian weather, ain’t the
same as playing in one of those air-conditioned, domed stadiums,
with the bench-side Jacuzzis and the oxygen masks on the
sidelines, like some kind of bloody hothouse for exotic animals
at the zoo. You need heart and the ability to battle the elements
as well as the opposing side. You still see that in US college
football, but you need to put that back in the NFL.
I guess expecting the NFL to adopt our superior form of the
game is too much to ask (plus having to make all the fields
bigger is a tall order), but here’s an idea. Why not play the Super
Bowl in Edmonton or Ottawa? Or at least at some open air
college stadium in Michigan or Nebraska? Put a couple of
names in a hat: Miami or Michigan, Orlando or Omaha – let
there be a random variable introduced to the mix. If nothing
else, it will throw a wrench into the gambling that corrupts the
game.
Of course, after a while NFL teams would add all-weather
special teams units. I can see some coach yelling, send in the
snow team, or suit up the mudders. But still, get tough. You’re
turning a good game into an effete contest between bunches of
steroid monsters and felons. Sure, it can be entertaining, but it
ain’t football.
[Well, there you have it. Maybe Harry’s proposal could find it’s
way on the ballot as a national referendum come November
2004.]
ET Phone Home……..
The SETI Institute out of Mountain View, California, has
concluded that man will contact intelligent alien life in 22 years,
and the first meeting will be with a super-intelligent machine
rather than anything biological, at least according to a piece by
Michael Woods of Block News Alliance (and the Union Leader).
With as many stars in the universe as there are grains of sand on
Earth’s beaches, the executive director of SETI says, “About
10% may have planets with intelligent life. That’s your
haystack.” Thus, it will take a generation to find the needle.
Of course we already have lots of spacecraft out there, hoping for
contact. Pioneer 10 was launched in 1972, carrying humanity’s
first message in a bottle, the plaque bearing an illustration of a
man and a woman and a diagram of Earth’s location. Pioneer is
now 9 billion miles from Hoboken, NJ.
Ham and Rum
Now here’s a funny story from Canada’s National Post, by way
of Tampa, FL.
A man toting a shotgun burst into a Tampa home occupied by
two women aged 63 and 60. One of them, Cathy Ord, later told
police, “He said he wouldn’t harm us unless we tried something
smart,” and the two surmised the guy may have robbed a local
store and was looking for a place to hide out for a spell.
He sat down quietly, chatting away, and after a while the women
made him a ham sandwich and gave him a bottle of rum. Then
they suggested he take a shower so he’d look clean for his
getaway. The guy did, emerging every few minutes to make sure
they weren’t calling police.
Next he asked them to call for a taxi, but Cathy said a cabbie
would never find the place and that she’d have to go outside and
flag one down. Well, when she got one the cabbie called police
and a few minutes later a dozen officers burst in, but the guy was
already passed out. Devil rum, I guess.
Stuff
–College Football Review
How can you not give this week’s game ball to Virginia Tech?
One week after a humiliating loss to West Virginia, Tech beat #2
Miami, 31-7.
But the more coveted “Frosties” go to:
St. John’s (Division III – Minnesota) coach John Gagliardi, 77,
who tied Eddie Robinson for the most college football victories
at any level, 408. Gagliardi has been coaching an incredible 55
years and his career mark is now 408-114-11.
Pitt receiver Larry Fitzgerald for setting a new Division I record
in catching a touchdown pass in 14 straight games.
And all the team members of Delaware and Colgate, both of
whom are now 9-0.
Otherwise, some of the big games fell short of the hype.
Michigan State QB Jeff Smoker was the victim of about 10
dropped balls in the Spartans’ 27-20 loss to Michigan. For the
Wolverines, though, Chris Perry carried the ball a school record
51 times. In case you were wondering as I was what the
Division I-A record is it’s 58 by Kansas running back Tony
Sands in 1991. Sands picked up 396 yards that day, which begs
the other question, what is the record for yards in a single game
(Division I-A)? LaDainian Tomlinson, 406, for TCU.
I told you Georgia was overrated…losers to Florida, 16-13.
Ah, Ken S.? I think your Nebraska Cornhuskers’ season is over.
Penn State is now 2-7, having lost 5 in a row for the first time in
the Paterno regime, and Notre Dame is 2-6, its worst start since
1963.
–USA Today / ESPN College Basketball Poll
1. Connecticut…. Go Jeff B.!
2. Duke
3. Michigan State
4. Arizona
5. Kansas
6. Missouri
7. Syracuse
8. Florida
9. Kentucky
10. North Carolina
Wake Forest is #21…….a travesty, I tell ya. We will finish the
season in the top ten…actually, I already said we’re winning the
whole thing. And then we’re winning it again in 2005! And the
men’s soccer team is #3, and field hockey is currently #1, on the
way to defending its NCAA championship. And Wake
destroyed Clemson this weekend, 45-17. Heh heh.
–Last chat I expressed my displeasure with NASCAR’s scoring
system. Well the next day the Wall Street Journal had a similar
piece, only admittedly Allen St. John’s was better. His point is
that NASCAR should adopt the system used by Formula One.
10 points for 1st, 8 for 2nd, 6 for 3rd, 5 for 4th…on down to 1 for
8th. Were this in place for NASCAR this year, Matt Kenseth
would be 4th, not 1st. To wit…after Sunday”s race.
Ryan Newman…125 (8 wins in 2003)
Dale Earnhardt, Jr. …106
Jeff Gordon…96
Matt Kenseth…87 (1 win)
Jimmie Johnson…85
Kurt Busch…84
Kevin Harvick…81
Tony Stewart…78
–What’s this? German police raided the factory of Toyota
Motor Corp.’s Formula One racing team on suspicions of
stealing Ferrari’s secrets? It’s true. And it wouldn’t be the first
time this has happened.
–According to a University of Florida study, the level of caffeine
varies widely in takeout coffee…even the same café. This has
me particularly upset because I get my 20-ounce morning pick
me up from Dunkin’ Donuts on the way to the office and
researchers say Dunkin’ Donuts coffee has the lowest amount of
caffeine. Starbucks had the most in the tests.
But the same brand, purchased at the same time of day, can still
show wide disparities, depending on the beans, brewing methods
and how it’s ground. [Dru Sefton / Newhouse News Service]
–Back in 1953, a Colombian diplomat purchased a home on 2-
acres overlooking a portion of the Gettysburg National
Battlefield for $15,000. It’s now on the market for $3.2 million,
thanks to the historic nature of it.
Built in 1840, the McMillan family abandoned it during the
fighting, with the place essentially stuck in the middle of what
would be “Pickett’s Charge.” When the McMillans returned, it
must have been a rather depressing sight, as their fields were
strewn with bodies and they even found dead soldiers in their
basement.
So by my way of thinking, this is one haunted house. I think I’ll
take a pass.
–I realize that many of you have already seen or heard certain
stories before they make it to Bar Chat, but some are worth
retelling for the wider audience, like Thursday’s tale of the
Metro-North rail commuter in New York.
41-year-old Edwin Gallart of the Bronx went into the bathroom
on the train and promptly lost his cell phone down the toilet. He
then decided to stick his arm down there to retrieve it and he got
stuck. One thing led to another and suddenly you had a 90-
minute delay on the line at the height of the evening rush. In
other words, thousands of very pissed off commuters, especially
when they learned of the cause of their extra long trip home.
Police and firefighters couldn’t dislodge Gallart’s arm until the
toilet itself was finally taken apart. The cell phone was never
found.
But here’s what the news stories didn’t tell you. The phone was
eventually flushed into the New York sewer system, after the
train’s waste was disposed, whereupon a large alligator found it.
Of course the alligator was once a baby, but it too had been
flushed early on. The alligator is now undoubtedly using the
phone to help rally all the other animals that have suffered a
similar fate at the hands of New York residents. In other words,
an animal offensive seems to be on the horizon.
–Thanks to the reintroduction of wolves in Yellowstone National
Park, trees and shrubs are making a recovery. The reason? The
wolves are eating the elk that have been feeding on the plants.
This is terrific news, sports fans. I’d like to see wolves in New
Jersey to get rid of our deer problem. Just not in my condo
development. [USA Today]
–Wohhh…bad stuff from Hawaii (north shore of Kauai) as on
Friday a 13-year-old girl surfer lost her arm when it apparently
was torn off by a 15-foot tiger shark. If it hadn’t been for the fast
action of her friend’s father, who quickly used a surf leash as a
tourniquet, Bethany Hamilton probably would have died. An
official at the local surfing club said the shark must have
mistaken her for a turtle.
–Maine’s big casino vote is Tuesday. Fake Indians versus the
locals, though there is the argument that it would bring
employment to a distressed area of the state.
–Sports alert! On ESPN2 at 2:30 PM ET, Tuesday, it’s
Manchester United vs. the Celtic Rangers. This is must see TV.
Make up an excuse to get out of the office. Something like, “I
just heard the portfolio manager of my mutual fund is the subject
of an SEC probe and my wife has become very ill, requiring me
to take her to the hospital.” [You can come up with something
better.]
–British explorer Ranulph Fiennes, in completing Sunday’s New
York Marathon, just accomplished something that’s more than a
bit incredible. 7 marathons on 7 continents in 7 days. Fiennes,
59, had a heart attack and double bypass operation just five months
ago. Along with his running partner, Dr. Michael Stroud, the
two completed runs on the Falkland Islands, Santiago, Sydney,
Singapore, London and Cairo, as well as NYC.
As for the New York Marathon itself, Kenyans took the top 4
slots in the men’s race, the first two in the women’s; as if you
couldn’t guess.
–So I’m watching my Jets lose an exciting game to the Giants,
thus ending their season though keeping alive my Super Bowl
pick of the Giants, but what is increasingly irritating are
excessive celebrations by defensive backs after breaking up one
freakin’ pass play, even though they are burned about 5-10 other
times a game.
–Victor Conte, the center of the steroid investigation into usage
by professional athletes, was once the bassist for the soul group
Tower of Power.
–For those of you familiar with the New York sports scene,
NBC broadcaster Len Berman is rumored to be jumping ship to
CBS after 17 years when his contract expires, with Warner Wolf
then moving from CBS to NBC. What I found interesting,
though, is that Berman is thought to be making $750,000-
$900,000. Not too shabby.
–I was reading a review in the Times of Mike Freeman’s new
book, “Inside the Dazzling, Rough-and-Tumble World of the
NFL,” and picked up the following.
According to an unnamed gay player, 5-10% in the NFL are
homosexual.
70% of NFL head coaches get divorced.
The average career of an NFL running back is 2.6 years, 3.3 for a
defensive end.
–NBC’s Campbell Brown isn’t dating anyone, according to
Parade Magazine.
Top 3 songs for the week of 11/2/68: #1 “Hey Jude” (The
Beatles) #2 “Those Were The Days” (Mary Hopkins) #3
“Little Green Apples” (O.C. Smith)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quiz Answers: 1) Rushing, career:
James Wilder…5,957 (1981-89). 2) Passing, career: Vinny
Testaverde…14,820 (1987-92). 3) Receptions, season:
Keyshawn Johnson, 106 (2001). 4) Receiving yards, career:
Mark Carrier…5,018 (1987-92). 5) 1st pick, 1976: Defensive
Tackle Lee Roy Selmon / Oklahoma. 6) 1st pick, 1977: Running
Back Ricky Bell / USC.
John McKay was the Bucs’ first coach and they were a dreadful
0-14 the initial season, with the average score being 29-9. But
by the team’s 4th year, McKay had led them to the NFC
Championship game.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday……….spread the word. Beaver Mania
is here.
