Two Performances for the Ages

Two Performances for the Ages




Derby Quiz: With Calvin Borel’s third triumph, name the three jockeys with four or more. Answer below.

Rory Breaks Through

Northern Ireland’s 20-year-old Rory McIlroy broke through in a huge way on Sunday in winning the PGA Tour event at Quail Hollow for his first win as he fired a spectacular course-record 62 to beat a super field that included runner-up Phil Mickelson. Earlier in the day I had called our own Dr. Bortrum to remind him the tournament was on and to watch for McIlroy, so after Rory rolled in a 40-footer on No. 18 to cap off his memorable performance, Bortrum immediately phoned to say, “Who needs Tiger!” in expressing the sentiments of about 98% of the golf fans out there; Tiger having missed the cut in the same event. [Much more on him below.] McIlroy himself barely made the cut and was ten off the lead after two rounds. Phenomenal.

And in Japan this weekend, 18-year-old Ryo Ishikawa won the event there with a final round 58!…the lowest ever in a major professional event [Japan, Europe, U.S.] So with these two, Anthony Kim, Rickie Fowler, Dustin Johnson, Camilo Villegas and other young guns, let alone Phil and a resurgent Ernie Els, golf is in great shape, regardless of Woods, though as I note below, you still have the serious issue of finding tournament sponsors for many of the events next year and beyond.

It’s Calvin…again

With the sloppy track at Churchill Downs, to say the least, it was virtually impossible to pick a winner of the Kentucky Derby. Front-runner Lookin At Lucky’s chances were cooked before it even started when he drew the rail in a 20-horse field. [And then jockey Garrett Gomez proceeded to give his horse another awful ride….he deserves blame for the second bump.]

So who stepped forward? None other than the greatest Derby jock of all time, at least to yours truly, as Calvin Borel guided Super Saver to victory, Borel’s unprecedented third win in four years. It was also No. 1 trainer Todd Pletcher’s first Derby triumph in 25 tries (technically he’s now 1 of 28 as he had four entries in Saturday’s running), this after Pletcher lost potential super horse Eskendereya to injury. As Pletcher said of Borel and the latter’s home track: “No one rides Churchill Downs like he does. He’s five lengths better than any other jockey on this track.”

Ray Kerrison / New York Post


“What’s going on here? Who is this Calvin Borel?….

“It defies explanation, but I’ll take a shot – Borel is a man of destiny.

“At 43, when most jockeys are contemplating retirement from their dangerous profession, Borel has soared to uncharted heights, a face with that incomparable smile and exuberance, that is becoming more familiar than the president’s.

“He gave Super Saver the rail-skimming ride that is his trademark, leaving every other jockey in the race to gape with wonder and astonishment. How the hell does he get away with it? Why do other jockeys give him the garden path to victory?

“The answer: There isn’t a jockey in the land who is more fearless, and more skillful at riding the rail. It’s not a matter of simply steering the horse to the inside and letting him do the work. Borel has turned rail-race riding into a work of art, the best any of us have ever seen.”

Next up the Preakness, a race won by Borel last year with Rachel Alexandra. But I’m saying that if Lookin At Lucky runs, and with a different jockey, Lookin wins. Trainer Bob Baffert said he would wait until later in the week to decide whether to enter.

[Meanwhile, Rachel Alexandra lost her second straight race on Friday at Churchill Downs, by a head to Unrivaled Belle. Earlier this year, Rachel lost by 3/4s of a length to Zardana, which on Friday finished fifth in the same race. So that means any matchup between undefeated Zenyatta and Rachel this year has lost a ton of shine…like all of it.]

Stuff
–Check this one out. From Lukas I. Alpert / New York Post
“It was silent but deadly.

“A British sniper set a world sharp-shooting record by taking out two Taliban soldiers in Afghanistan from more than a mile and a half away – a distance so great, experts say the terrorists wouldn’t have even heard the shots.

“Craig Harrison killed the two insurgents from an astounding distance of 8,120 feet – or 1.54 miles – in Helmand Province last November firing an Accuracy International L11583 long-range rifle.

“ ‘The first round hit a machine-gunner in the stomach and killed him outright,’ said Harrison, a corporal in the British Army’s Household Cavalry, the equivalent of a sergeant in the American military.

“ ‘The second insurgent grabbed the weapon and turned as my second shot hit him in the side. He went down, too,’ Harrison told the Sunday Times of London.”

The distance was measured later by GPS and recently just made official. Harrison’s shots came as his buddies were under fire. He was aided by the fact there was no wind. 

Floyd Mayweather Jr. remained undefeated in 41 fights with a 12-round unanimous decision over Shane Mosley in a welterweight showdown; Mosley being a substitute for Manny Pacquiao, who is now campaigning for a seat in the Philippine congress. If Pacquiao wins his race, I’m saying there will never be a Mayweather-Pacquiao bout.

Kyle Busch snapped a 21-race losing streak in extending runner-up Jeff Gordon’s own drought to 38 races with a win in Richmond.

Golf Balls

Tiger Woods’ stunningly bad performance at the Quail Hollow Championship has everyone talking as he missed just his sixth cut in 241 career tournaments in shooting 74-79. Tiger also seems to be in denial about the state of his game, insisting he’s “hitting the ball actually pretty decent.” But he hit only 6 of 28 fairways in two rounds, the lowest total of his career, as SI’s Gary Van Sickle pointed out. Van Sickle also notes that Tiger’s game on Friday really came apart following a heckling incident on the tenth hole, “where one spectator shouted a setup line and another responded with the cliche punchline, “That’s what she said.” 

Could one little comment have made that much of a difference? Van Sickle adds that the National Enquirer the day before had run the story that Tiger admitted to Elin he had slept with 120 women and was headed straight for divorce court.

George Willis / New York Post

“This is the time when you need your family. When you’ve had a bad day at the office and things you once did with excellence are now going horribly wrong.

“That’s when a family can step in and offer words of comfort, a hug and a smile. But as Tiger Woods made an early exit from Quail Hollow yesterday, he has never looked more alone and vulnerable….

“Now it’s fair to speculate whether the troubles in his personal life are affecting his golf game. It sure looks like it.”

But back to the 120 women, supposedly Tiger was forced to list them all as part of his treatment for sex addiction. However, he failed to put down No. 121, his next door neighbor’s daughter who he had known since she was 14 but bedded in a one-night stand when she was 21. According to the Enquirer, when Elin read of this she confronted Tiger in a phone call as he was having dinner with friends after the Masters.

“She was screaming so loudly that everyone at the table could hear what she was saying,” a source told the magazine.

Elin was quoted as saying: “This is the worst betrayal ever. I can’t believe you had sex with that girl in our own neighborhood. That’s it – I’m divorcing you.”

You know…that Tiger Woods is kind of a jerk, don’t you think? 

–The PGA Tour is struggling, even if officials don’t want you to believe so, and despite the new breed that’s beginning to rise to the top. Of 40 tourneys on the docket for next year, 10 still don’t have “title” sponsors and an issue that’s been growing over the years is the elite just choosing to play in the big money events, which as a story in BloombergBusinessWeek points out begin with the top 13…the four majors, the Players, the four World Golf Championships, and the four FedEx playoff events. The Tour requires players participate in 15, so the really big guns hardly play in the remaining 32 (there are some weekends where there is an elite field and a regular event at the same time). Thus it’s the “B” events that are really getting the shaft and sponsors no longer want to pay up.

–How good was Lorena Ochoa, who just retired at age 28? Check this out…in her three big years of total domination when she was first each time on the money list.

2006…25 starts, 20 top 10s…6 wins
2007…25 starts, 21 top 10s…8 wins
2008…22 starts, 17 top 10s…7 wins

[Ochoa played in her last event this weekend and finished sixth.]

Tom Watson’s new video series, “Lessons of a Lifetime,” has been getting rave reviews in golf publications, so I ordered a couple. Go to tomwatson.com.

–And now, Sports Illustrated’s annual survey of PGA Tour pros (in this case 71 of ‘em) before next weekend’s Players Championship.

Q: Do you think the health-care reform bill is good or bad for the U.S.?

Good 16%
Bad 84% [For newcomers…the PGA Tour is a most conservative bunch.]

Q: Do you approve or disapprove of the job Barack Obama is doing?

Approve 17%
Disapprove 83%

Q: Will Tiger break Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 majors?

Yes 93%
No 7%

[This was before this past week’s effort. I wonder how much this would have changed after he missed the cut, let alone the arrival of Rory. I’m seriously beginning to doubt Tiger can.]

Q: Had you heard about Tiger’s infidelities before his car crash?

Yes 8%
No 92%

Q: Do you think Tiger used HGH or performance-enhancing drugs?

Yes 24%
No 76% [Loose Lips: “I don’t know, but something’s not right.”]

Q: What percentage of married players are faithful to their wives?

90-100%…60%
80-89%…12%
70-79%…17%
Under 70%…12%

Q: Will Ian Poulter win a major?

Yes 44%
No 56% [Loose Lips: “God, I hope not!”…which is why I included this one; Poulter not being real popular among the U.S. players in particular.]

Q: Will Sergio Garcia win a major?

Yes 60%
No 40% [Loose Lips: “He can win if he gets his head out of his you-know-what.”]

[Garcia was also voted most overrated, with Poulter second. Martin Kaymer tied with Tiger for most underrated.]

Q: Who is the slowest player on Tour?
Ben Crane 39%; Kevin Na 31%

Back to Tiger and the steroids issue, Tiger’s physical therapist, Mark Lindsay, is a principal with Toronto doctor Tony Galea in the sports medicine clinic under investigation, while Lindsay has deep ties to BALCO, according to Michael O’Keefe of the New York Daily News.

“Lindsay worked with athletes Bill Romanowski, Tim Montgomery and Marion Jones,” and we know what happened to them.

Ball Bits

–The Phillies’ Ryan Howard signed a five-year extension paying him $25 million a year, the second-highest annual take next to A-Rod’s $27.5 million. Yet as the New York Times’ Dan Rosenheck points out, Howard is not among the game’s elite. He just puts up 50 homers, 130 RBI every year…but a decent percentage of this is because of where he plays, Philly’s bandbox Citizens Bank Park. According to ESPN.com, 16% more home runs were hit in games played here than in the Phillies’ road games from 2006 to 2009. Plus, Howard has had the highest number of men on base for him over those four years compared to any other cleanup hitter. And Howard’s on-base percentage has been plummeting, while his fielding is just average, and he’s hardly a threat on the basepaths. So as Rosenheck puts it, Ryan Howard is a star, but far from a superstar.

[Awful Saturday and Sunday for the Mets vs. the Phillies, however, as Howard and his mates pounded New York’s two aces, 21-5.]

–The Wall Street Journal developed a comprehensive set of criteria to come up with the greatest Yankee position players of all time, with categories including postseason batting, fielding range, on-base plus slugging percentage and wins above replacement player, plus, earnings power, including the player’s relevance in popular culture.

The overall choice is Babe Ruth, followed by Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Derek Jeter, Yogi Berra, Mickey Mantle, Reggie Jackson, Alex Rodriguez, second-baseman Joe Gordon and outfielder Tommy Henrich.

Gordon got on the list because of his defense, specifically his range, while Henrich was best in one crucial respect: The team’s winning percentage during his career was the highest for any player. [You could win some coin on this last one.]

–According to a formula created by the Nielsen Company, the No. 1 most-disliked team in baseball is the Cleveland Indians. The Cleveland Indians? The formula helps determine whether consumers have positive, negative or neutral reactions to brands in their online messages. Under this measurement, the Red Sox are No. 2, and the Yankees No. 5.

This is nuts. Of course the Yankees are No.1!!!

The most popular? The Giants and A’s. And thus this is the last time we’ll ever mention this stupid poll.

[Pssst…the most popular should be the Pirates. Who doesn’t like them?]

–Sports Illustrated’s Austin Murphy writes of the coming “Colossal Conference Grind-up” in college sports, specifically the scenarios that will drastically change the football scene. Murphy lists three.

Scenario 1: “The Big Ten adds only one team, Missouri, while Colorado and Utah jump to the Pac-10. The Big 12 fills its two openings with BYU and TCU.

Scenario 2: “The Pac-10 still takes Colorado and Utah, but the Big Ten steals three – Missouri, Nebraska and Rutgers. All of the moves leave the Big 12 and Mountain West on life support.

Scenario 3: “Welcome to conference Armageddon. The Big Ten expands by five teams – Missouri, Nebraska, Notre Dame, Pitt and Rutgers – and the ACC scoops up the remnants of the Big East. The SEC takes Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas and Texas A&M, making three 16-team conferences. With the power of college football centralized, the conferences have no need for the NCAA, form their own association and institute a plus-one championship game.”

In the end it is expected there will be a few moves in 2011, though nothing too drastic.

–David Biderman of the Wall Street Journal had a bit on how high school success translates, or doesn’t, into the professional ranks.

“Despite all the hoopla that comes with analyzing football recruits, there’s nothing scientific about predicting gridiron greatness. Only 39% of the selections from the first two rounds of last weekend’s NFL Draft were top 100 recruits in their senior year of high school, according to recruiting Web site Rivals.com. This number pales in comparison to basketball, where 62% of the players selected in the most recent NBA Draft were top 100 basketball recruits.

“From 2003 to ’05, 17% of the top 100 football recruits were selected in the NFL’s first two rounds….In basketball, meanwhile, 31% of the top 10 recruits from ’03-’05 were chosen in the NBA’s two-round draft.

“There’s a good reason for the football drop-off. An electric 250-pound linebacker in high school can turn into an overweight slowpoke in college. But a 6-foot-9 high-school forward is probably not going to shrink. That’s no solace to quarterback Jimmy Clausen. After being ranked No. 1 in 2007, Mr. Clausen was the 48th pick in this draft. The three players chosen ahead of him were never ranked.

“Then there’s quarterback Sam Bradford, the No. 1 overall pick Thursday by the St. Louis Rams. He wasn’t ranked either.”

–Did you see the video of Jose Tomas, one of Spain’s leading matadors, being seriously injured; gored in the ring when the bull’s horn “penetrated 4 inches into Tomas’ groin and punctured a vein and an artery”? If you aren’t squeamish, Youtube it. You won’t believe how quickly it happens, but Tomas is known for allowing the bull to get closer than any other matador. The injury was so severe that doctors had to operate immediately to stabilize him because of the severe blood loss. While that may seem obvious, I’m saying they operated so quickly, they didn’t even take time to anesthetize him.

–We note the passing of actress Dorothy Provine, 75, who was a sexy number, though not a big star as she appeared in “Mad, Mad World,” “The Great Race,” and one for some reason I remember, “Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die,” which was a Matt Helm rip-off.

–Talk about not making a good first impression. On March 31, Tim Welsh was hired by Hofstra as its new men’s basketball coach. Welsh had been a head coach for 13 seasons at Iona and Providence and most recently was an analyst for ESPN. He received a reported five-year contract for $600,000 per year; awesome money for this level of Division I.

So what does Welsh do? He was arrested early Friday morning for DUI on Long Island. The thing is he reportedly blew twice the limit but, get this, didn’t tell school officials. Instead, they learned about it through media reports. Hofstra then correctly suspended the idiot without pay while they investigate the charges against him.

How the hell could you let the school find out through the media and not tell them yourself? For this Tim Welsh finds his name in the December file for yearend awards consideration.

–It’s a sad situation but I like the imagery. ABC News has been in the midst of laying off nearly 400 staffers, including 58-year-old long-time correspondent Brian Rooney, who compared his dismissal to “standing looking straight up when the bomb dropped.” Good luck, Brian. 

–Editorial / China’s Global Times [a govt. mouthpiece, which makes this significant…the tone of it]

“An Olympic medal that was supposed to mean honor has now brought disgrace to Chinese sports and the whole country.

“The International Olympic Committee (IOC) Wednesday stripped the Chinese women’s gymnastics team of the bronze medal at the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games, after finding that team member Dong Fangxiao was underage at the time of the competition. [Ed. Dong was found to be 14, two years under the minimum age requirement.]

“China has been recognized as a sports power. The memory of the glorious 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, at which China grabbed the most gold medals of any country, is still fresh in our mind. But now it seems that everything is in doubt.

“Speculation regarding the fabrication of documents has shadowed China’s sports sector for a long time, covering a wide range of sporting events. A scandal related to questions of underage Chinese gymnasts emerged before the Beijing Games.

“The Chinese Basketball Association has suffered similar problems related to untruthful accounts of athletes’ ages. Even Yi Jianlian, now playing for the NBA’s New Jersey Nets, was suspected of age falsification….

“The latest scandal may pass soon in the news cycle. Before long, we will have fresh, exciting news of Chinese athletes’ great performance in the international sports arena. But those medals will lose their luster if the integrity of China’s sports system is challenged….

“If China is to maintain the world’s respect as a worthy competitor, it must ensure that honesty and transparency are firmly adhered to at all times.”

–New York Jets coach Rex Ryan said a recent incident with newly acquired bad-boy receiver Santonio Holmes was “kind of blown out of proportion” and I agree with Ryan. Holmes was said to be disruptive after he failed to obey a flight attendant’s repeated orders to turn off his iPod before landing as his Continental plane was making its final approach into Pittsburgh from Newark. The story gets foggy because Allegheny County, Pa., police, who are responsible for the airport, said Holmes was not removed from the plane, as initial reports had it, and that he had indeed complied with a request to remove his iPod. Holmes wasn’t arrested.

So I wasn’t going to bring it up at all but it’s an excuse to note the abysmal behavior of a ton of passengers, as I observed on all my flights in my Albania-Lebanon trip. Including when I got home to Newark, whereupon you are told over and over to turn off cellphones and BlackBerries inside customs, including the baggage area, and from my flight alone there were at least ten total
a-holes who just went about their business with their phones anyway. I’m really tired of this crap, this attitude so many of us have. Where’s Charles Bronson when you need him?! [Moment of silence required at this point for the late Mr. Bronson.]

Actually, we have a new vigilante hero…Michael Caine…or rather Caine playing “Harry Brown,” a mild-mannered 76-year-old Brit who snaps and takes on the gang that has killed his best friend. A review in USA TODAY said “Caine gives a masterfully subdued performance. Harry has a soulful dignity that cannot be denied. His lined face speaks volumes, though Harry is not a big talker. When he does speak, what he has to say is worth hearing.”

[The film opened in a limited release this weekend.]

–Congratulations to South Korean woman Oh Eun-sun, who has become the first female to scale the world’s 14 highest mountains. That’s one tough girl…all of 5 feet 1 inch.

But…her rival, Spain’s Edurne Pasaban, who has climbed 13, says Oh didn’t really reach one of the summits, Mount Kangchenjunga, the world’s third-highest peak, last year.

“Her Sherpas told me that she didn’t reach the summit because of bad weather,” Pasaban told The Times of London recently.

Wohhh…now that’s a controversy. But as the New York Times’ Choe Sang-hun wrote the other day:

“In the absence of an international mountaineering body, Elizabeth Hawley, an 86-year-old American mountaineering journalist, is considered the final arbiter on such disputes. She agreed last week to record Oh’s ascent of Kangchenjunga as ‘disputed,’ pending an investigation.”

Usain Bolt’s drawing power is such that 54,310 showed up to watch the famed Penn Relays in Philadelphia, with Bolt competing with his fellow Jamaicans in the 4 X 100. He ran an unofficial split of 8.79.

–HBO’s new documentary on the 1974-75 Stanley Cup champion Philadelphia Flyers is getting great reviews. It debuts 10:00 p.m. on Tuesday. Dave “The Hammer” Schultz, one of the team’s enforcers, said of his role, “Someone had to do it. And I did it.”

As Sports Illustrated noted, Schulz is now 60, “but there’s little doubt he’s still ready at the drop of a glove to kick the livin’ crap out of someone.”

This was an era when I was in my hockey fan prime, with the Rangers being highly competitive. We just couldn’t match up with the Flyers’ goons. 

–And now…as “Web Sweeps Week” continues, actress Noureen DeWulf comments in Men’s Health magazine on what guys should do.

“On the first date, skip the serious stuff. ‘Don’t ask me about work,’ says DeWulf. ‘I like silly questions. Ask me my favorite color or why I ordered this drink.’ It’s your energy, personality, and the way you act that will impress her, she says.”

Sounds like an airhead, if you ask me. A very sexy, attractive airhead.

In the bedroom, DeWulf offers, “Don’t tell me your buddy tried this or you saw this in porn.”

Geezuz, what jerk would do that?

Audrey Nelson, a gender communications specialist, has her own advice on various topics. For example, guys, you suspect she’s cheating.

Say: “I may be totally off base, but I’m concerned about your relationship with John. Will you be honest with me?”

Don’t say: “You’re screwing John, aren’t you?”
This is the danger in drinking domestic, by the way.

She asks… “Where is this relationship going?” [The truth: Nowhere.]

Right answer: “I need to be honest. I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now.”

Wrong answer: “I think there’s some potential here.”
Doh!
Here’s another. You think your sex life follows an endless round of same old, same old.

Say: “Would you be willing to try this position? If you don’t like it, we can do what we know works.”

Don’t say: “You be the wheelbarrow, and I’ll be the farmer delivering the load.”

Me: “I’ll give you two choices. We can watch the Mets, or the fourth round of the golf tournament……wha?”

–OK, here’s a word problem for you. If I told you I was 10 years old on opening day for the Mets in 1968, what does that make me now?…..time’s up. Yeah, it sucks. Plus I was flying from Albania to Beirut that day, via Istanbul, and didn’t really party like it was 1999…but I digress.

So I’m reading Men’s Health on being fit at 50+:

“Fight age with muscle…After 50, the sedentary man’s muscle loss speeds up and he then loses about 10 percent of his muscle mass every decade. If you’ve been lifting weights, keep it up. If you haven’t, start now – it’s not too late.”

I’m starting today….now where are those dumbbells I use as door stops?

–Mark R. says that when I do my list of “Most Beautiful Women,” I have to include Dallas, Mark being like other fans of Texas that not only consider the state a country, but each big city kind of like a Luxembourg or something, with a full seat in the UN General Assembly.

While I totally agree that the women of Dallas can blow you away, Men’s Health lists America’s “Fattest Cities,” and guess what? Of the 13 cities in the U.S. given a D- or F, or “Heaviest,” Texas has six of them…Corpus Christi, El Paso, San Antonio, Houston, Lubbock and Dallas.

And who get A’s or A+’s?

Denver, Cincinnati, Portland, Ore., Albuquerque, Austin, Seattle, Washington, D.C., Burlington, Vt., and San Francisco.

Argue amongst yourselves…I have enough other issues to deal with.

–And as “Web Sweeps Week” continues, the topic is… “Her Secret Sex Thoughts,” as reported by Men’s Health’s Carolyn Kylstra.

57% of 1,000 women polled by the magazine said that during sex they’re wondering if you’re enjoying it – enjoying her, really.

Jennifer, 22, said, “Sometimes I’m thinking, ‘I still have laundry to do after this.’”

I’m thinking, “Was John Maine’s last start just an aberration…or is his fastball really back?”

51% of the women said it was “natural to fantasize about other men during sex.”

74% said they’d be hurt to find out their “guy fantasized about other women?”

Me: “If this new basketball coach Wake Forest got doesn’t retain Dino Gaudio’s outstanding recruiting class, I’m not giving a dime to the Deacon Club next year.”

–Emily Smith and Dan Mangan / New York Post

“He was running around town with his young mistress – while his pregnant wife spent a week in the hospital – and yesterday, Tiki Barber got tackled.

“The ex-Giants star was slapped with divorce papers over his shameless gallivanting with 23-year-old former NBC intern Traci Lynn Johnson.

“ ‘He couldn’t be more heartless,’ said a friend of the gridiron great and his eight-months-pregnant wife, Ginny, whose Manhattan divorce suit cites tricky Tiki’s ‘adultery.’

“ ‘[Ginny] is very heavily pregnant and was last week ordered into the hospital on bed rest,’ the friend said.

“ ‘Meanwhile, Tiki has been spotted all over town with his new girlfriend while she was in the hospital. He was at the NFL draft and out dining with Traci.’”

Plus Tiki was low-balling her in out-of-court negotiations, according to sources, thus her reason for filing.

You just can’t get worse than this. I nailed the fact Tiki was a jerk a long, long time ago. Now he’s odds-on favorite for “2010 Dirtball of the Year.”

Furio Scarpelli died at the age of 90. Who was Furio Scarpelli? Why he was the screenwriter for the greatest spaghetti-western of all time, “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.” And so we toast his memory…this flick being at the top of any real man’s list. [Girls, nail your boyfriend on this one.]

–The French Pavilion at the Shanghai World Expo has seven “masterpieces” from the awesome Orsay Museum of Paris. [I’ve been here before but I’m kicking myself for just walking by it last Sunday when I was over there. The line wasn’t long…I should have gone in.]

So the seven are by Jean-Francois Millet (don’t know him), Edouard Manet (Manet bad… Monet good), Vincent Van Gogh (the one and only), Paul Gauguin (sucks), Pierre Bonnard (don’t remember him) and Paul Cezanne (also sucks). The seventh is a Rodin sculpture. Regarding this last one, I prefer the Japanese winged monster Rodan myself.

And that’s your “Critics Corner” for May 3. Critics Corner, not to be confused with Kiner’s Korner, is another free feature of Bar Chat.

–Attention “Entourage” fans. Sources told the New York Post that Mike Tyson is to appear in the season opener, which is sometime this summer.

Top 3 songs for the week 5/7/83: #1 “Beat It” (Michael Jackson) #2 “Jeopardy” (Greg Kihn Band) #3 “Let’s Dance” (David Bowie)…and…#4 “Come On Eileen” (Dexys Midnight Runners) #5 “Der Kommissar” (After the Fire) #6 “Overkill” (Men at Work) #7 “She Blinded Me With Science” (Thomas Dolby) #8 “Mr. Roboto” (Styx) #9 “Little Red Corvette” (Prince) #10 “I Won’t Hold You Back” (Toto…former movie star pooch takes on another career)

Derby Quiz Answer: 4 or more Derby wins…Eddie Arcaro, 5 (1938, 1941, 1945, 1948, 1952); Bill Hartack, 5 (1957, 1960, 1962, 1964, 1969); and Bill Shoemaker, 4 (1955, 1959, 1965, 1986). Borel became just the fourth with back-to-back wins.

Next Bar Chat, Thursday.