NCAA Basketball Quiz: Including No. 1 Pitt’s loss to Butler in the second round, there have been 19 No. 1 seeds to go down in round two since the NCAA began seeding teams in 1979. 1) In ‘79, North Carolina was the first. Who did they lose to? 2) In 1980, ‘81 and ’82, No. 1 seed DePaul went down in flames. Name the three schools to take Ray Meyer to the woodshed. Answers below.
And Then There Were Four
8 Butler vs. 11 VCU
3 UConn vs. 4 Kentucky
Boy this has been a great tournament. Make that awesome. Starting with Thursday’s Sweet Sixteen action, UConn’s 74-67 win over San Diego State was in doubt until the final minute. BYU lost to Florida in OT. Butler upset Wisconsin. And even though Arizona upended Duke by 16, 93-77, it was incredible basketball of a different order. Arizona’s astounding 55-33 second-half dismantling of a No. 1 seed was as good a half of basketball as any one team, pro or college, has played given the circumstances.
On Friday, you started with UNC and Kansas routing Marquette and Richmond, respectively, but then you had two great nightcaps in Kentucky’s heavyweight title fight 15th-round knockout of Ohio State, 62-60, and VCU’s exciting 72-71 overtime thriller vs. Florida State in the battle of 10- vs. 11-seeds.
So the stage was set for Saturday and as good a pair of games as you’ll ever see; Butler’s 74-71 overtime win over Florida and UConn’s 65-63 nail-biter over Arizona.
And then Sunday, all we saw was No. 11 VCU take down No. 1 Kansas, 71-61, while Kentucky stood tall against No. 2 North Carolina, 76-69.
In the VCU game, the Wake Forest transfer I’ve written of, Jamie Skeen, had 26 points and 10 rebounds, while coach Shaka Smart [or as Johnny Mac says…shaka smart…shaka smart shaka smart…] worked his magic as Kansas was faced.
The UConn and Butler stories are almost equally remarkable. UConn was all of 9-9 in Big East play, but then they had their historic 5-game run in the Big East Tournament. As for Butler, late January they were a whopping 14-9 and just 6-5 in the Horizon League after losing three straight. They then reeled off nine in a row to get to the Big Dance, but without last year’s superstar Gordon Hayward, who stupidly left early for the NBA, no freakin’ way Butler does anymore than maybe beat Old Dominion in their first-round matchup, though ODU was a bracket darling.
So how did Butler shock the world again? It’s a cliché, but Coach Brad Stevens gets his boys to buy into the system. They have inferior physical talent, but look who’s Final Four bound a second straight time?
Back to Friday’s Kentucky-Ohio State classic, Mike Vaccaro of the New York Post wrote:
“The final flurry was remarkable, ridiculous really, two seasons on the line and an army of basketball players on both sides of the court screaming for the basketball demanding it, wanting to be the one that would buy their team another couple of days of season, another couple of days in the NCAA Tournament.
“First up was Jon Diebler, one of the deadliest dead-eye shooters in Ohio State history. His team trailed by three points, just over 20 seconds to go. He had the ball. He wasn’t giving it up, not if he could find a sliver of space.
“ ‘What he’s done all year,’ Diebler’s coach, Thad Motta marveled.
“It was 60-60. Would Kentucky coach John Calipari call a time-out to set up a final play? No. That isn’t Cal. He believes in his guards, trusts them. It’s why he recruits them. So he would trust Brandon Knight. Didn’t matter that he had missed six of his first seven shots. He had been empty against Princeton, too, in the first round, right up until he needed to win the game. And he won it.
“Knight had made his last shot, a 3-pointer that gave Kentucky a lead. Teammates were screeching for the ball. They weren’t going to get it. Calipari has had a remarkable lineage the last four years, Derrick Rose blending into Tyreke Evans blending into John Wall blending into Knight, all of them freshmen, all of them perfecting Calipari’s dribble-drive offense.”
B-Ball Bits
–I would be willing to donate all kinds of money to Wake Forest for them to be able to get either Brad Stevens or Shaka Smart. Biiiiiiig money. Fresh, crisp bills. Lots of ‘em.
In case you missed it, Shaka got his name from his father, who named him after the Zulu warrior, the movie “Zulu” being one of your editor’s all-time favorites.
–Count me a Jeremy Lamb fan. For starters, the UConn freshman/budding superstar is likeable.
G Kemba Walker, Jr., UConn
G Nolan Smith, Sr., Duke
G Jimmer Fredette, Sr., BYU
F Jared Sullinger, Fr., Ohio State…says he’s coming back…don’t believe it
F/C JaJuan Johnson, Sr., Purdue
Fredette was SN’s selection for Player of the Year. He’s mine as well.
“To get to the Final Four, it helps to have chemistry, tradition, a brilliant coach and the right matchups. But don’t kid yourself. What a team really needs is NBA talent.
“It’s incredibly rare for a team to reach college basketball’s promised land without a single pro-caliber player. Of the 96 teams that reached the Final Four between 1985 – the year the tournament expanded to 64 teams – and 2008, 94 had at least one player who eventually appeared in an NBA game. (We left aside the 2009 and 2010 Final Four participants, since several of their key players are still in school). The two exceptions: Oklahoma in 2002 and George Mason, the patron saint of underdogs, in 2006.
“In fact, having a single future NBA player is usually not enough: 91% of all Final Four teams over this span have had at least two and the majority of teams had at least four. The outrageously talented 1996 Kentucky Wildcats had nine.”
–Speaking of Kentucky, Bloomberg reported that the University of Kentucky spent more on recruiting last year than any public university in the six biggest conferences in college sports….$434,095 in fiscal 2010. The University of Kansas was second with $419,228; Florida third at $326,306. Private schools such as Duke aren’t required to divulge the information. This seems unfathomable. But the Kentucky basketball program, for example, had an operating profit of $5.2 million on $16.8 million in revenue over the same period.
Among schools in the public universities category in the same big six conferences, Wisconsin spent the least, $57,397. Wisconsin accomplished this by staying local. 15 of the 17 players on the team are from Wisconsin or a neighboring state.
A reason given for Kentucky’s huge spending is that often their players only stick around one year before heading to the NBA, whereas Wisconsin players tend to stick around. Kentucky’s budget is for accommodations for officials visits, scouting, communications and traveling expenses. I’m assuming the price of hookers is included in the $434,000.
Wha? You don’t think this last assumption of mine is true?
–I’m seeing some ridiculous stuff being written about Jimmer Fredette and his NBA prospects. Rick Reilly unfairly rips Fredette in his ESPN column, and then in a piece by Pete Thamel in the New York Times, he quotes one NBA Western Conference executive as saying “I think he’ll be a really good pro, but not great. He’ll be a guy who is a better Steve Kerr, a better Kyle Korver. A better (Jason) Kapono. Both those guys can’t put the ball on the floor.”
So why compare Jimmer to Korver and Kapono in the first place, you jerk. They are totally different players!
Everyone goes on and on about how Jimmer doesn’t play defense. But BYU didn’t want him to play a lot of ‘D’ because they needed him to stay out of foul trouble. Jimmer’s an athlete. He can learn how to play defense. Plus there are entire NBA teams (see New York Knicks) who have maybe one player, max, who plays good ‘D’.
Here’s what any fan worth his salt knows about Jimmer. He’s a flat-out scorer with unreal range. Trust me. The kid is going to have a very good NBA career and at some point will be scoring 20 a game.
Look at how well Stephen Curry, a skinny little dude, is doing in the NBA. He averaged 17.5 as a rookie and is up to 18.3 in his second season. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t recall a lot of people saying he was an outstanding defensive player out of college. Fredette, in case you don’t know, is strong as hell already…he can bench-press 265…and has a more than solid vertical jump of 36 inches. I would love for the Knicks or Nets to draft the guy.
–I had the sound down during Thursday’s Butler-Florida game and missed an all-time blunder by announcer Gus Johnson. Johnny Mac sent me an incredulous note. Then on Sunday, Phil Mushnick described it in his column for the New York Post.
“Thursday on TBS, with Florida and BYU tied, 15 seconds left in regulation, he asked this of Len Elmore and Reggie Miller. ‘If you’re BYU, do you foul?’
“Nurse! We could sense that Elmore nearly gagged.
“ ‘No! Why would you foul? It’s a tie game.’
“Miller, as did anyone watching who knows even a little about basketball, agreed.”
I was myself apoplectic on Saturday as the same Gus Johnson kept talking about Butler’s Shelvin Mack, a junior, being a senior! Not once, not twice, but at least three times by my count. I could hear J. Mac screaming in disgust all the way up in the Poconos.
Yet there are a lot of folks out there, it would seem, who love Johnson and his enthusiasm. Not me, mon…I’ll take Marv and Vern any day of the week.
–Back to Phil Mushnick, he was out of bounds in a separate column on San Diego State concerning how CBS (read my main man Verne Lundquist and sidekick Bill Raftery) was too easy on the Aztecs’ Kawhi Leonard and his early technical foul. No they weren’t. It was a dumb move but I thought the refs should have cut him some slack and warned Coach Steve Fisher first to shut Leonard up or he’d be teed up. As for the critical technical foul call on SDSU’s Jamaal Franklin, with the Aztecs up 53-49 and about nine minutes to go, unfortunately CBS didn’t have a good angle on it. [UConn went on a 16-3 run after the call.] So, between the two technicals, both of which were questionable, and SDSU shooting 6 of 13 from the foul line, UConn advanced. Oh yeah, Kemba had 36…that was kind of important.
But it was great fun for me this year, following my adopted Aztecs. They needed to get to the Sweet 16 for affirmation they belonged and they did so.
Kawhi Leonard should stay in school one more year but he won’t. It’s too bad, because SDSU would be good again if he came back.
Following the loss to UConn, a friend asked me, “So you going back to Wake Forest next year?” Ask me again during the pre-season. It’s not like the 1-15 in ACC play Deacs are giving their fans any remote cause for optimism.
Lastly, regarding my San Diego State experience, I owe the team and the student body a big apology. I wore my Aztecs shirt just twice; once when I went to the BYU game in San Diego a few weeks ago, the other on Thursday night. They lost both. It’s my fault and I’ll go to my grave knowing this. I should have broken the shirt in…like on some of my beer runs.
So let that be a lesson to all you sports fans out there. Don’t wear a new jersey for the first time on game day. It’s instant bad karma. I only hope the good people at SDSU forgive me.
–As part of Sporting News’ 125th anniversary, employing an extensive panel of experts, it came up with the Greatest Teams in College Basketball.
1. 1966-67 UCLA Bruins
2. 1972-73 UCLA
3. 1975-76 Indiana Hoosiers
4. 1981-82 North Carolina Tar Heels
5. 1954-55 San Francisco Dons
6. 1990-91 UNLV Rebels
7. 1973-74 N.C. State Wolfpack
8. 1991-92 Duke Blue Devils
9. 1983-84 Georgetown Hoyas
10. 1995-96 Kentucky Wildcats
As for the ’66-’67 Bruins, in an era when freshmen were ineligible, the starting lineup had four sophomores – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Lucius Allen, Lynn Shackleford and Kenny Heitz. Finished 30-0 and won all four NCAA Tournament games by at least 15 points. Were led by Jabbar (Lew Alcindor then) who was a shoo-in for national player of the year from his first varsity game, in which he scored 56 points. He averaged 29.0 points and 15.5 rebounds and was so dominant inside the NCAA outlawed the dunk in the ’67 offseason, which looking back was one of the 3 or 4 dumbest decisions in the history of our country.
–UConn women’s coach Geno Auriemma was pissed off after Tuesday’s second-round NCAA tournament game when his Lady Huskies defeated Purdue 64-40 to advance to their 18th straight Sweet 16. Auriemma was disappointed the arena in Storrs, UConn’s home, was half-empty.
“I think it’s probably natural. I guess we need to win more,” Auriemma said, dripping sarcasm. “Everybody loves a winner, you know. Maybe we should offer free parking, more giveaways. We should let some of the fans coach the team, maybe a guest coach every quarter.
“We have a spoiled group of fans who assume we are going to win, who assumed we would be in Philadelphia [for the regionals] and be at the Final Four. We had the season, the Big East in Hartford and now the NCAA tournament [the first two rounds]. You are asking them to do a lot. So I think we don’t bid on [hosting the NCAA first round] for five years.”
I really want to comment, but I’m going to bite my tongue.
Baxter Holmes of the Los Angeles Times had a terrific piece on a different time.
The Yankees were on a rare, 13-game spring training swing through California and drew an estimated 140,000 fans in all. At Bovard Field on the campus of USC, extra seating was added and at least 3,000 were in attendance as the Yankees played the Trojans.
“Some came to see the big names, catcher Yogi Berra, shortstop Phil Rizzuto and center fielder Joe DiMaggio. The trio of stars were on the cover of the game scorecard, just below a large illustration of (Casey) Stengel’s face.
“But there was also plenty of curiosity about the player being groomed to fill DiMaggio’s shoes, a 5-foot-11, 185-pounder who made the uncommon leap to the Yankees from Class C baseball in Joplin, Mo.
“Mantle had yet to take an official major league swing, but he had astonished fans all spring, hitting one tape-measure home run after another, going from unknown to boy wonder with every awesome drive.”
And so on this day, USC’s Tom Lovrich was on the mound with a count of 2 and 2 on 19-year-old Mantle. The junior ace didn’t know much about the kid from Oklahoma except that he was “Very strong.”
“Lovrich figured the rookie would chase something low and away for strike three, so the 6-foot-5 right-hander known as “Tall Tom” began his sidearm windup and fired.
“His head sank as soon as he heard the devastating crack of the wooden bat.
“ ‘My God,’ said USC second baseman Stan Charnofsky, watching the ball scream over the wire fence in right-center field. ‘Look at that.’
“USC’s football practice field ran adjacent to Bovard Field. The ball bounced at midfield and rolled into a huddle.
“And as they walked off the field, their spring practice complete, another football player learned the answer to that question and told the others.
The Yankees won that day 15-1, with Mantle going four for five with a single, triple, two home runs and seven runs batted in.
The drive has been described as the longest home run of his career. Heck, he hit one from each side of the plate that day and they both went more than 500 feet! But what of the first one? Satellite imagery was used to try to pinpoint the ball’s trajectory. Some estimated the clout at, get this, 660 feet, but “most concede the blast went at least 550.”
“The dimensions at Bovard were 307 feet down the left-field line, 351 to left-center, 439 to center, 344 to right-center and 318 down the right-field line, Justin Dedeaux (Rod’s son and then 7-year-old bat boy) said.
“Most witnesses say Mantle hit the ball to right-center, toward the corner of what is now Watt Way and West 34th Street. If it landed near there, an estimate of 600 or more feet would be reasonable.
“Frank Gifford, then a USC tailback, said the ball landed near the middle of the football practice field.
Justin Dedeaux, who played for USC and his father later on, remembered Mantle visiting USC after he had retired in 1968, appearing in a celebrity game in the mid-70s. Mantle was still in shape and hit a few out of the new Dedeaux Field.
“Justin remembered Mantle laughing as he recalled his first game on campus, thinking of all the coeds who adored him and joking that he should have gone to school at USC.
“ ‘I really got a hold of a couple,’ he told Justin. ‘Man, that was fun.’”
–Bill Madden / New York Daily News…on Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig’s crumbling legacy.
“While I’ll still believe Selig is going to walk away from his $18 million salary to teach history at the University of Wisconsin when I see it, there is absolutely no doubt the commissioner is obsessed with his legacy, which, after the steroids scandal, is again being threatened by the serious debt problems of the National League’s signature franchises, the Mets and Dodgers.
“In their latest annual report on major league team values, Forbes Magazine focuses on the Mets and the Bernie Madoff mess along with the equally debt-ridden Dodgers and their battling owners, Frank and Jamie McCourt, and how it pertains to Selig. ‘Selig, derisively known as the ‘Steroid Commissioner’ for the blind eye he turned toward the artificial bulking up of the players throughout the 1990s and early 2000s, now faces the possibility of becoming known as the ‘Debt Commissioner’ for the ballooning of franchise IOUs under his tenure, and for letting teams sidestep league rules on debt limits,’ Forbes states in the latest issue.
“The magazine goes on to suggest that Selig turned a blind eye to the growing financial woes of the Mets and Dodgers because Mets owner Fred Wilpon and Frank McCourt (who, though underfinanced, was able to purchase the Dodgers in 2004 with Selig’s blessing as a return favor for having stepped aside as a bidder for the Red Sox in 2001 so that the commissioner could maneuver his pal, John Henry, out of Miami and a desperate stadium situation with the Florida Marlins into Boston) have always been reliable big market allies for the commissioner.”
But as much as Selig “has a deep affection for Wilpon,” there are those who believe Selig understands how Mets ownership can drag Selig’s legacy into the mud as well, so some say the stories about the Wilpons and their ties to Madoff have been coming out of the commissioner’s office as much as trustee Irving Picard’s. Selig wants the team sold, of this there is little doubt. It’s an embarrassment, as is the Dodgers and their difficulties, and as Bill Madden writes, both are “looming as an even bigger hit on his legacy than the steroids scandal.”
–The Mets aren’t the only team eating big contracts these days, see Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo. The Cubs ate right-handed pitcher Carlos Silva’s $11.5 million deal for 2011. Silva, who went 10-6 with a 4.22 ERA last year, was 1-2 with a 10.90 ERA this spring. He was offered a minor-league contract but he said there’s no way he’d report. Very Ollie like.
–Pitcher Mike Hampton retired after 16 years and a 148-115 record, 4.06 ERA. Mets fans will recall his lone season with them, 2000, when he went 15-10 and was 2-0 in the NLCS before stumbling in the World Series against the Yankees. Hampton was also one of the better hitting pitchers of the past 30-40 years, finishing his career with a .246 average and 16 homers in 725 at-bats, including 7 home runs with Colorado in 2001.
But Mike Hampton earned some $130 million in his career, the bulk of it after his best seasons as it became one injury after another, and he had just 10 wins the last five years while being paid a gazillion.
–ESPN The Magazine asked various athletes from numerous sports “How do you feel when you pay your taxes?” If 1 equals “It’s crushing” and 10 equals “Glad to do my civic duty!” I loved the comment of Baltimore Orioles outfielder Adam Jones.
“Three. If it went to a good cause, I’d be happy. But our tax money goes to lazy people who don’t want to work.”
Just too funny. We now hope Jones has a monster season and makes for more good copy.
–The New York Knicks have collapsed, totally, in losing six straight, mostly to losing teams, including Milwaukee twice, and suddenly find themselves losers too, 35-37 overall, 7-11 since acquiring Carmelo Anthony. On Friday night at home they were booed off the court. Point guard Chauncy Billups, who was part of the Melo trade, said, “I’ve always been a fast learner. But this system is more difficult than any other system I’ve played in. It’s more different. It takes time to get to know it, the ins and outs of it.”
Whaddya mean “system”? Under Coach Mike D’Antoni, the only system is once you secure the rebound or inbound the ball after an opponent’s score, you run the court and take the first shot you can find…then you walk back on defense (while the opponent sprints down and slams it home) so as to conserve energy for the next time you end up with the ball. It’s a pretty easy system. Anyone can play.
–Meanwhile, the Knicks’ Garden mates, the New York Rangers, have righted the ship and appear playoff bound with just six games to go, giving us fans a reason to watch come Stanley Cup time. Yeah, I’ve seen all of two periods this year but I always check the score; it’s just that the team has given us zero reason to cheer for years.
But, on Saturday, goalie Henrik Lundqvist had his league-leading 11th shutout of the season in blanking Boston, 1-0. In doing so, Lundqvist became the first Rangers goaltender with 11 since 1928-29. As Ronald Reagan would have said…not bad…not bad at all.
Meanwhile, after their stunning stretch of about 30 games, the New Jersey Devils have gone 1-4-1 and their own playoff hopes are out the window.
Jiyai Shin…don’t know her
Sandra Gal…can’t remember if I’m supposed to know her
I.K. Kim…don’t know her
Mindy Kim…don’t know her
Chelta Choi…don’t know her
Amanda Blumenherst…think I kinda know her
Anna Nordqvist…barely know her
Sun Young Yoo…don’t know her
Paige Mackenzie…heard of her…or do I just like the name?
Catriona Matthew…don’t know her
Mika Miyazato…don’t know her
Michelle Wie….DING DING DING! I know her!
And that, folks, is the problem with the LPGA. I’m a casual fan who nonetheless normally knows who’s good, but even the good ones…and I just have to say this…that are from Korea, I have no idea which “Park” or “Kim” is the star and which isn’t. Not a clue.
Ai Miyazato, Yani Tseng, Amy Hung, Song-Hee Kim, Ji Young Oh, Na Yeon Choi, Amy Yang, Shanshan Feng, Inbee Park (heard of her), Jane Park, Hee Young Park, Azahara Munoz, M.J. Hur, Momoko Ueda, Christina Kim (heard of her), Aree Song (heard of her)
Some have called this racism. Hardly. There isn’t one “hard-core” fan of the LPGA Tour who could definitively tell you the difference between all of the above.
I don’t know what the answer is. Then again, there is one. Michelle Wie and the likes of Paula Creamer need to grab the tour by the neck and win a bunch of events to give us a reason to watch. Then in doing so maybe we can begin to sort out all the “Kims” and “Parks.”
[As for Natalie Gulbis…ahem…well it would be nice if she’d get rid of her back issues and start playing well too.]
–PGA Tour junkies take note. You can’t bet on Bernhard Langer in your Masters pool because Langer just had thumb surgery and won’t be able to play at Augusta. This sucks. I like Langer and even as a member of the over-50 set he can still be competitive. But it seems Langer hurt his thumb in a biking accident.
As for this weekend’s action down at Arnie’s Bay Hill event, Scotland’s Martin Laird won his second career title in besting still-winless Steve Marino.
–The tributes keep pouring in with the death of Elizabeth Taylor, and in Sunday’s New York Post I liked this tidbit from Susannah Cahalan.
“Elizabeth Taylor kept one secret that she likely took to the grave – a final love letter from Richard Burton. Taylor kept the mystery missive by her bedside. It was the only letter out of the 40 Burton wrote her that she refused to show biographers.
“All she revealed was its heartbreaking affirmation of love: ‘In it he told her what he wanted. Home was where Elizabeth was, and he wanted to come home,’ according to the book ‘Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton and the Marriage of the Century.’ Taylor wanted to be buried with the note.
“Burton wrote the note on Aug. 2, 1984, three days before he died of a cerebral hemorrhage. When Taylor arrived back home from Burton’s funeral, she saw the letter – postmarked a day before his death.”
–Then there’s the not-so-love affair between golfer John Daly and one of his former wives, Sherrie, who has written a tell-all, “Teed Off.” The two were married for nine years and divorced in 2010.
“It’s not just Tiger. It’s John and others, believe me,” she told the New York Post. “Professional golfers behave as dirty as any other professional athlete or rock star.”
Sherrie reveals “the game is riddled with prostitution, drug use and overall misbehavior more generally associated with football and basketball.
“ ‘Golf sluts may dress in golf outfits, with those nerdy visors and argyle socks and sweater vests and pretend they’re interested in the game. But they’re just whores in preppy clothes,’ she writes.”
“Little did I know that being a golf wife would mean fighting off strippers. Strippers swarm the course alongside the real golf fans, acting like they’re watching the game. Only they’re wearing slutty high heels made out of rubber, and they’re handing out to all of the players fliers for the strip clubs where they work. The grass is just littered with pieces of paper printed with pictures of those nasty strippers on them.”
“I’d been told by many men in Memphis, including my banker, that there was a girl who’d give golfers [oral sex] when they got to the 16th hole at Southwind. Apparently, all they had to do was pay $300 when they got there, and she’d take them into the bushes and she’d do it for them right there,” Sherrie writes.
Sherrie also says Hilton Head’s tour event was full of prostitutes.
Meanwhile, life with John Daly was no barrel of monkeys, know what I’m sayin’? Daly partied harder than most rock stars. Assuming Sherrie’s stories are real (and knowing Daly’s history there is little reason to doubt at least 80% of it), Daly is beyond despicable. Plus, regarding his gambling problem, Sherrie says he once lost $1.6 million in Vegas in just a few hours.
Sherrie was a mess herself, as many of you know, and ended up spending 150 days in jail at one point on money laundering charges.
–March 30 is the 30th anniversary of the attempted assassination of President Ronald Reagan. I was a clerk/typist for an insurance company that had its office on 437 Madison Avenue in New York City, directly behind St. Patrick’s. I can’t remember how I found out, but with Reagan having been shot at 2:27 pm, it was probably about 3:00 pm when word hit my office and there was a bar in our building so I just bolted from my desk and went down to it to watch the television coverage, telling no one what I was doing. Before long some of my co-workers joined me. That’s where we ended our work day, and then I walked across to St. Patrick’s to light a candle.
–The World Figure Skating Championships, originally slated for Tokyo but postponed due to Japan’s many issues, were switched to Moscow, which will hold them April 24 through May 1.
“Fat Ho Burgers is stacking up the controversy.
“The slangily-named burger joint made a splash when it opened in the conservative town of Waco, Tex., down the street from Gospel Café – a volunteer-run religious café and bookstore.
“The menu’s items include Supa Fly Ho with Cheese, Fat Chicken Ho or the Sloppy Ho Brisket. And for the younger Fat Ho customers, there’s Tiny Ho Meals.
“Fat Ho Burgers’ owner, Lakita Evans, who opened the joint, said critics are misinterpreting the name.
“ ‘It’s not calling people a ho. It’s just like they say, ‘Oooh, that ho is big,’ or, ‘That ho is tight!’ she said. ‘Look what’s going on in Japan,’ she added. ‘It’s like clear this world is not gonna get any better. Why cry and be depressed? The economy is bad. Somebody gotta keep a sense of humor around here.’”
–The New York Post has an annual deal where they ask some of the better comics in America what their favorite jokes of the past year are. Not just ones they wrote and told, but others they heard as well.
“My friend is afraid of rats. I told him that rats are more afraid of him. I said, ‘Rats avoid people like the plague.’ Then I realized – rats aren’t very good at avoiding the plague.”
“Racist topics make me nervous. So much that I feel awkward when telling my black friends I’m hopping the N train.”
“My family is not spontaneous. Once we were driving across the country, and we were backing out of our driveway in Teaneck, N.J. And I heard something jingling in the front seat. I asked my mother, ‘What’s that?’ She said, ‘Nothing! Nothing!’ It was the toll for the Golden Gate Bridge.”
“Cellphones have ruined relationships. Because it’s instant access. Before cellphones, you had all day to get your story together.”
“Obama ran on a platform of change and he stayed true to his word because that’s all everyone has left in their pockets – change.”
“The Taco Bell Drive-through is a great way to meet other people who are in denial about how horribly their life has turned out.”
–Drat! I missed Dana Delany’s 55th birthday! [March 13] You younger guys out there might not understand, but when you get to be my age you will. [Ms. Delany is being nominated for the Bar Chat Hall of Fame for women over 50. Diane Lane still has four more years before she is eligible.]
“Zoo house closed after snake escape”
“Officials have closed the Reptile House at New York’s Bronx Zoo after a poisonous Egyptian cobra disappeared from an enclosure that was separate from the animal exhibits.
“Zoo officials said the building was immediately closed and secured after staff learned that the adolescent snake was missing.
“The zoo released a statement saying it is confident the 20-inch-long snake is in an area of the building that’s not accessible to the public.”
No way I’m going anywhere near the Bronx until this thing is captured. But I also can’t help but muse the Egyptian people could have saved themselves a lot of trouble by just dropping this native cobra into Hosni Mubarak’s office, say, back in September.
— “Shark bites surfer on arm”
“A surfer has been bitten by a 2 ½-meter shark on the NSW north coast.
“Dave Pearson, 48, was surfing off rocks at Crowdy Head about 6:45 pm yesterday when the shark bit his left arm, police said.
But I missed the fact that about a week earlier, “Wakeboarder Lisa Mondy survived an attack by a great white shark at Port Stephens.
“Ms. Mondy, 24, was bitten several times after she fell off her board at Jimmy Beach.”
Yet another reason to never step foot into any ocean ever again.
Top 3 songs for the week 3/27/65: #1 “Stop! In The Name Of Love” (The Supremes) #2 “Can’t You Hear My Heartbeat” (Herman’s Hermits) #3 “The Birds And The Bees” (Jewel Akens)…and…#4 “Eight Days A Week” (The Beatles) #5 “King Of The Road” (Roger Miller…this guy is simply the most underrated singer/songwriter in the history of the planet…which encompasses a lot…including Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute*) #6 “Ferry Cross The Mersey” (Gerry & The Pacemakers) #7 “Shotgun” (Jr. Walker & The All-Stars) #8 “Goldfinger” (Shirley Bassey…this one has held up remarkably well) #9 “My Girl” (The Temptations…ditto…we’ll be singing it in 2189) #10 “This Diamond Ring” (Gary Lewis and The Playboys…also underrated)
According to Wikipedia, April 6 is Zamfir’s 70th birthday.
NCAA Basketball Quiz Answers: 1) In 1979, North Carolina lost to No. 9 Penn, 72-71. 2) DePaul’s three defeats as a No. 1 in the second round were at the hands of…1980, No. 8 UCLA 77-71; 1981, No. 9 St. Joseph’s, 49-48 (memorable); 1982, No. 8 Boston College, 82-75.
Next Bar Chat, Thursday, Opening Day! And your EXCLUSIVE Baseball Predictions! And then coming on April 11, another Bar Chat tradition. Our EXCLUSIVE look at the first week of the season and our scientific projections for the remainder of the year as drawn up by our crack staff, which even now are sequestered in a tiny motel in Dubuque, Iowa in preparation for the intense internal discussions on whether Ichiro’s start will preclude him from hitting .612, or is he destined to slump to .138, and whether Adam Dunn’s first at-bats will lead to him hitting 106 home runs for his new team the White Sox.
