NFL Quiz: Since the 1970 AFL-NFL merger… 1) Name the
three teams in each conference with the highest winning
percentage. 2) Name the five teams with 20+ playoff berths
since 1970. [Yes, these overlap.] Answers below.
Tuesday night, August 31…
Cleveland 22…Yankees 0
And the lead over Boston is down to just 3 ½ games. New York
led by 10 ½ back on August 15. The Cleveland shellacking was
the major leagues’ worst shutout loss since 1900.
The 1964 Philadelphia Phillies
So Mark R. and I are going to one of the weekend’s great
sporting events, the 65-67 Phillies versus the 60-71 New York
Mets (thru Tuesday’s play) in Philadelphia. Talk about
something that sounded like a good idea………two months ago.
Oh well, they say the food is good.
But it does bring to mind a story that needs to be repeated every
few years, the collapse of the ’64 Phillies. According to “The
Baseball Hall of Shame” by Bruce Nash and Allan Zullo,
following were the standings as of September 18 that year.
Philadelphia…89-58
St. Louis…….82-64…6 ½ games back
Cincinnati……81-65…7 ½
San Francisco 81-66…8
And here were the final National League standings a few weeks
later.
St. Louis…… 93-69
Cincinnati……92-70…1
Philadelphia…92-70…1
San Francisco 90-72…3
So what happened? After building the lead to 6 ½, the Phillies
promptly lost 10 in a row as Philadelphia manager Gene Mauch
continuously marched out his two aces, Jim Bunning and Chris
Short, on two days rest. They lost all six starts between them
down the stretch. Now you read accounts from the time and
some teammates say this was the cause of the Phillies incredible
choke job, while others say it wasn’t Mauch’s fault but rather a
comedy of errors.
For example, according to authors Nash and Zullo, there were a
slew of defensive lapses.
“Twice they lost because they allowed base runners to steal
home. [Ed. including one by that famous Red, Chico Ruiz.] In
another dreadful game against the Braves, outfielder Johnny
Callison let a fly ball bounce off his glove, allowing the winning
run to score. Also in that game, the Phils Richie Allen overslid
second and was tagged out when he didn’t even try to get back to
the bag. And teammate Alex Johnson immediately followed that
base-running blunder with one of his own when he rounded
second base and was picked off.”
As for Mauch himself, he said the whole deal “was like watching
someone drown.”
So I think I’ll tell all the Philadelphia fans sitting next to me on
Saturday night about how they redefined the term “choke.” Then
again, I probably won’t.
Stuff
–After a slow year thus far, the number of bear incidents in New
Jersey soared in August to 35! Serious incidents worthy of
inclusion include home invasions, deaths, and destruction of
property and livestock. Alas, no humans have lost their lives,
yet, and you all know the guidelines here at Bar Chat. Under 14
years of age, no details will be given. Over 14….or was it over
18? I better check my official “Bear Reportage on Maulings”
manual.
–But speaking of bruins, there is the story of “Juan the Andean
spectacled bear” who escaped from the Berlin Zoo briefly the
other day by using a log to paddle across a moat and then scaled
a wall. [BBC News] Juan (no relation to Juan Valdez…at least
that I’m aware of…or former major league pitcher Juan Pizarro)
was then spotted attempting to heist a bicycle for his getaway.
Zoo officials were able to zap him with a tranquilizer gun before
he could make his way to the autobahn. Of course these same
folks should have been suspicious when Juan was spotted
bouncing a baseball against a wall of his cage, the bruin having
concocted his plan after watching Steve McQueen in “The Great
Escape” at the zoo’s movie night for animals, a popular event
held each Thursday in the summertime.
–And then we have this BBC / Xinhua News Agency piece
involving Feili, a 13-year-old chimp that took up smoking
because her partner couldn’t satisfy her. But the freakin’ partner
is 41! I mean this tale is disturbing on a lot of different levels
and someone has to be held responsible for this Lolita-like set-
up.
–So the other day, Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan
made a comment to the effect that Social Security benefits will
have to be cut, given the coming retirement of the Baby Boomers
and the strain it will place on the system, and that we’ll also have
to work a few years longer. But then I see that the University of
Texas is retiring longhorn steer, and mascot, Bevo XIII who is
only 20! Bevo had done a perfectly good job patrolling the
sidelines at Texas football games and compiled a 124-67-2
record during his 16 years of service, but now he’s being shunted
aside for a ‘younger’ steer. This is disgraceful. That is unless
the school plans on making a buck by carving Bevo up and
selling the meat at a premium, which I’d have no problem with.
–Speaking of college football, USA Today had a big piece on
Tuesday concerning Nebraska’s new West Coast offense under
the direction of former Oakland Raiders coach Bill Callahan.
You have to understand that 3/4”s of the Cornhuskers’ offense has
come on the ground since 1977 and get this…no Nebraska QB
has ever thrown for 300 yards in a game! David Humm came the
closest with 297 back in 1973. Boy, you could win some major
coin on that one at your neighborhood tavern.
–Jeff B. passed along a news item from CNN involving a man
who lost his head while a passenger in a car near Marietta, GA.
“A drunken driver hit a telephone pole support wire that
decapitated his passenger, police said.
“He then drove 12 miles home and slept in his bloody clothes,
leaving the headless body in his truck.”
The driver was charged with vehicular homicide and our
sympathies to the victim’s family.
But Jeff B. and I were trying to figure out exactly what
happened. The victim, according to the CNN report, was
apparently “leaning out of the window when (the driver) hit the
support wire about a mile and a half from the bar.”
I suggested that the victim may have seen a yak, yaks not being
that prevalent in Georgia, but Jeff had the far better explanation.
There may have only been one yak on the side of the road, but
the guy being drunk and all saw two! He then leaned out the
window to be sure and whap! That’s our story and we’re stickin’
to it.
–Harry K. passed along this one, including the actual AP
headline.
“Killer Biscuits Wanted For Attempted Murder”
“Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-
laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up
some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with
the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands
behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the
store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car.
He noticed that Lisa’s eyes were now open, and she looked very
strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that
she’d been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her
brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who
broke into the car because the doors were locked and Lisa
refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally
got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the
back of her head…A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded
from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot,
and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she
reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and
thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly
recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until
someone noticed and came to her aid.”
Err, I omitted the last line of this piece, concerning Lisa’s hair
color. You can probably figure it out, though.
–Yeah, yeah. Barry Bonds is the greatest offensive player of all
time. The friggin’ guy is 40, for crying out loud, and he has a
.821 slugging percentage (thru Tuesday), .607 on-base average,
and 185 walks vs. 29 strikeouts. His performance on Sunday
against Atlanta was phenomenal. Those two homers were blasts.
He’s become automatic….and when he passes the Babe I’m
going to cry.
–Ichiro’s quest for George Sisler’s all-time hit mark, 257,
continues and will probably go down to the last two games. He
had 56 hits in the month of August, the largest such figure for a
single month since divisional play commenced in 1969, and thru
Tuesday was hitting .463, yes, .463 since the All-Star break.
–Maria Sharapova struggled in her first round match at the U.S.
Open on Tuesday but emerged victorious. Some of us are
praying she gets back to peak form. We need her around…until
at least the semis.
–Now why the hell would Deion Sanders, 37, return to the NFL
(Baltimore Ravens) after last playing in 2000? Ego, especially
after losing his network gig.
–Fred Whipple, a leading astronomer who came up with the idea
that comets consisted of ice with rock mixed in, died at age 97.
But I liked this tale in an obituary by Kenneth Chang of the New
York Times.
“Dr. Whipple often talked of his pride in an achievement during
World War II when he helped invent a device that cut aluminum
foil into thousands of fragments. The aluminum fragments,
when released by Allied planes over Germany, confused enemy
radar by giving the impression that a much larger number of
planes were attacking.”
I’m sure you read this and had the same thought I did.
This is our way to stop Barry Bonds! Each time he comes to the
plate, have a helicopter dust the outfield with aluminum
fragments. This will confuse the baseball, after Barry has
launched it skyward, and send it hurtling into foul territory. [I’m
assuming the technology hasn’t been perfected to the point where
we could direct the ball back into the infield, but with proper
federal funding, everything is possible.]
[By the way, Dr. Whipple’s brother, the Charmin guy, really was
a weirdo, looking back on it all.]
–For those of you who were glued to the Olympics and were
aware some nations passed out prize money, the following is
from the Moscow Times, reported by Carl Schreck.
“Russian athletes earned more than praise from Putin. They also
earned over $4.3 million in tax-free prize money from the
government, which has promised to pay $50,000 for a gold
medal, $20,000 for a silver and $10,000 for a bronze.
“Russian athletes also won a total of $3.7 million in extra prize
money from a $4 million fund set up by team sponsor Nafta
Moskva [ed. guess he’s a free trader] to reward gold medallists
and world record breakers.
“The fund will pay out $100,000 to each gold medallist in
individual sports, $60,000 to gold medallists in team sports, and
$40,000 to Russia’s only world record breaker in the Games,
pole vaulter Yelena Isinbayeva. [So Yelena earned $190,000
overall for her effort.]
“But…the biggest winners were synchronized swimmers
Anastasia Davydova and Anastasia Yermakova…each earning
$220,000 apiece in the duet and team competitions.”
Goodness gracious.
–Johnny Mac correctly says “it’s time to cull the Olympic herd,
so to speak, and eliminate any sport where winning an Olympic
gold medal is not the pinnacle in that sport, a la tennis.”
–Congratulations to my friends in Canada; the Great White
North having defeated the U.S. in the opening game of the World
Cup of Hockey. [Liked those old-style, mustard uniforms, too.]
And now……….Beer Talk!
Harry K. passed along the following item concerning Humber
College of Toronto.
From Canada NewsWire:
“Humber College, School of Hospitality, Recreation & Tourism,
is offering ‘Beers of the World,’ a six-week course led by
Brewmaster Bill White, one of Canada’s foremost beer experts.
“The unique ‘beer school’ curriculum covers a wide-spectrum of
beer styles, taste profiles and brands as well as brewing
processes.
“Participants will sample a variety of beers from around the
world as well as learn about the history behind different styles of
beer, unique taste characteristics, the role of appropriate
glassware, matching beer with food and even how to pour the
perfect pint.”
Oh, if only they had this option at Wake Forest. My final GPA
may have been a little higher. Well……..time to tap a keg.
[And for you Canadian readers, Harry recently sampled some
new, tasty brews from Robert Charlebois’ micro-brewery in
Chambly, Quebec, including a couple of 9% alcohol entries, “Fin
du Monde” (End of the World) and “Maudite” (Damn!). Harry
avers that Americans, used to our domestic swill, wouldn’t be
able to handle them.
Top 3 songs for the week of 9/6/75: #1 “Rhinestone Cowboy”
(Glen Campbell) #2 “Fallin’ In Love” (Hamilton, Joe Frank &
Reynolds) #3 “Get Down Tonight” (K.C. & The Sunshine Band)
NFL Quiz Answers:
1) Best winning percentages since 1970 AFL-NFL merger:
AFC – Miami (.645), Oakland (.599), Pittsburgh (.592)
[Denver (.583)]
Worst – San Diego (.431), NY Jets (.435)…not including
Houston’s two seasons (.281)
NFC – San Francisco (.603), Dallas (.596), Minnesota (.583)
[Washington (.569)]
Worst – Arizona (.405), New Orleans (.415)…Tampa Bay (.384
…entered NFL in 1976)
2) Five teams with 20+ playoff berths since 1970:
Miami (21 berths…20-19 total postseason record since ‘70)
Pittsburgh (20…23-16)
San Francisco (21…25-16)
Dallas (23…31-18)
Minnesota (21…15-21)
[Oakland has 18 berths…22-15]
**NFL Tidbits:
Opening Day Records – .600 or better…Houston (2-0),
Jacksonville (6-3), Denver (28-15-1), Dallas (30-13-1).
Worst – Jets and Buffalo (18-26), New Orleans (11-26), Seattle
(8-20), Arizona (27-42-1), Philadelphia (27-42-1).
*Bet with your head…not over it!
Only four teams since 1970 with a .500 record on the road –
Miami (.550), Oakland (.535), San Francisco (.560), Dallas
(.504)
Worst – Tampa Bay (.294), Detroit (.305), Cincinnati (.331),
Houston (4-12)
Next Bar Chat, Tuesday.
